June 3, 2025 • 29 mins
Purpose. Meaning. Clarity.
Do you ever feel like you’re chasing these in your life and just as you reach them, they, poof, slip through your fingers?
You’re not alone.
In this episode, Stephanie and Maren unpack what it really means to pursue this power trio — not as a destination, but as a living, breathing practice.
Society treats them as boxes to tick, and that’s part of the problem. Today’s episode explores going beyond what you’ve been taught to a deeper kind of listening, into the path of inner mastery.
Being in conscious relationship with yourself, your mission, and the larger world around you is the road less traveled. It’s not easy, and it may be exactly what’s calling you - as it is for so many of the high achieving leaders that work with Maren & Stephanie.
Here’s a question to ponder -
👉 Do you know the difference between purpose and mission?
Spoiler: One tends to come from ego. The other? It whispers from the soul.
In addition this, they also explore:
- Why clarity is not a one-time achievement but an evolving, sacred process
- How to tell if your “purpose” is actually ego-driven
- The real meaning of mission—and how it emerges through both joy and hardship
- Why leaders who seek depth must get comfortable with not knowing
- The trap of cultural quick-fixes—and how to trade those for sustainable inner practice
- How collaboration (not competition) is the soil where your mission grows
- The truth about being “all alone” vs. “all one”—and what that means for your leadership
If you’ve ever hit a wall, lost your way, or questioned everything just when you thought you had it figured out—this episode is for you.
Clarity doesn’t come from efforting harder. It comes from slowing down, tuning in, and being willing to walk the long arc of becoming.
🔔 What’s Next?
Go deeper with the Inner Mastery Series. This is where the ideas Stephanie and Maren talk about come alive—in practice, in community, and in you.
----
🔗 Links & Resources
- Join the Inner Mastery Class → www.TSLP.life/2360-2/
- Connect on LinkedIn, Facebook, and YouTube
- Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode
- Dive deeper at The Soulful Leader Project → www.TSLP.life
Chapter Markers
0:32 Clarity- a tenant of inner mastery
5:19 Transforming your life, mission vs purpose
9:25 There’s a practice to it
13:09 Avoidance and healing
17:07 Achiever brain
19:22 You are a part of something even bigger
Please share your insights and questions in one of our Soulful Leaders groups:
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Watch the podcasts on our YouTube Channel: @Soulful Leaders
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie Allen (00:04):
In a world where we have everything and
it's still not enough, we'reoften left wondering, is this
really it?
Maren Oslac (00:10):
Deep inside you know, there's more to life
you're ready to leave behind theold push your way through and
claim the deeper, moremeaningful life that's calling
you.
Stephanie Allen (00:19):
That's what we invite you to explore with us.
We're your hosts, StephanieAllen and
Maren Oslac (00:25):
Maren Oslac, and this is The Soulful Leader
Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (00:30):
Yay! Hi.
Welcome to The Soulful LeaderPodcast, and I'm here with Maren
and super excited about talkingabout clarity. First of all,
what even is clarity, and whyare we seeking it so much, you
know? And what happens whenwe're not clear?
Maren Oslac (00:49):
And just if you've been listening into our series
last week, we started talkingabout, actually, two weeks ago,
three weeks ago, whatever itwas, a couple of podcasts ago,
we started talking about innermastery, and clarity is one of
the tenants of inner mastery. Sowe really wanted to go into what
is clarity and why is itimportant to to being masterful
(01:16):
on the interior. And if you'vemissed those podcasts we started
with, I think it was episode 183which was What is Inner Mastery.
And then we had episode 184where we talked about emotional
regulation. So today we'redigging further in and going
into clarity.
Stephanie Allen (01:35):
Yeah, clarity of purpose is, is interesting
word too, like thinking of theword... well, clarity and
purpose. I have witnessed somuch, even in myself. It's like,
dang, I just want to know, like,can I just figure this out? Can
I just have the answer and thenI'll be set for life? You know?
I'll just kind of go on mylittle path and work with that
(01:56):
focus and clarity. But the thingis, is that it isn't a one and
done, and I think it's reallyimportant to say that.
Maren Oslac (02:05):
I think it is too because I think that we're
trained as a culture right nowin this like... Oh, I got it, I
got it. I got that. I understandthat, you know, I look at so
many classes and I know youthese things drive you nuts, the
(02:25):
three steps to clarity ofpurpose...
Stephanie Allen (02:29):
Right?
Maren Oslac (02:30):
Right? Change your entire business model in 10 easy
steps?
Stephanie Allen (02:35):
Yeah, I think of it like, you know, if I'm
cooking and I have a recipe andthere's, like, you know, so many
ingredients and has to be put inthis order, and has to be...
(03:00):
which is great if you're bakinga cake, if you're making
something and even then, I youknow, you can add a little extra
spice, you can take a little bitaway some sugar, and, you know,
(03:28):
there's a lot of things that wecan change and make different.
But when we talk about mastery,we really need that... the map
Maren Oslac (03:42):
Yeah, so when you're talking about that,
cycle...when we go back toclarity of purpose or clarity in
is inside all of us, and thereisn't a one and done. There
our lives, I think we do getcaught in this, 'If I could just
isn't just one map that one sizefits all. It's not and even your
find clarity, everything elsewould be okay.' And I actually
kind of agree with thatstatement, and I also have a
(04:05):
own personal map is going tohave changes and rerouting. You
problem with it, and so I'llstart with the agree part I
agree with the statement isbecause I do think that the lack
know, that's what makes theadventure really cool. That's
of clarity causes a lot ofproblems in our lives. And the
challenge that I have with thatstatement is that clarity is
why it called a quest. And thequest is a question. It's not an
(04:27):
a... it's not what we'reactually seeking. I know that
sounds strange, so it's it's theintermediary type of thing. It's
answer. It's like for me, how dowe ask better questions so that
when I look at clarity, clarityabout what? There's something
it will lead us on the quest formore clarity? But, and to
behind the clarity. And I thinkthat's one of the things we
(04:49):
wanted to get to in relationshipto inner mastery, because we can
continue asking questions, thereisn't like a game, there's a
have clarity of purpose. Okay,my purpose is to get up and get
start and a finish. It's an everevolving process, and to have
some food because I'm hungry,I'm pretty clear that I'm hungry
and I need food. And, you know,I got my clarity. That doesn't
(05:09):
joy in that process.
help with my big life, like,like, the bigger life, like, oh,
I have angst in my life.
Stephanie Allen (05:19):
Yeah, coming from the questions of, who am I?
Yeah...we tendto use that...those words kind
Why am I here? What is thepurpose or meaning of my life?
Maren Oslac (05:24):
Yes, and that's where, when we have clarity
around those things, we cantransform our lives and from a
place of joy and inspiration,which is what you and I are all
about. You know, many people arehelping with, once you're
whacked upside the head or, youknow, you're in drama and
(05:44):
trauma, how do you how... do youmove out of that? One of the
things that you and I arestanding for is you don't have
to actually get whacked upsidethe head or go into drama and
trauma, and we can, we cantransform our lives, and the
path to that is beyond clarityof purpose, I think it's clarity
(06:05):
of mission. So I love when youtalk about the difference
between purpose and mission. Youwant to share that with us?
of simultaneous, like, you know,meaning...
...interchangeably.
Stephanie Allen (06:19):
Yeah, but they're definitely not. Like,
when you think of a purpose,this is my perspective, anyway,
is that when I think of purpose,it's coming from me, myself, and
I... the ego, like I want thisor I'm seeking that. So it's
like...
Maren Oslac (06:37):
...it could be an organization. When you say, 'I'
...it could be a grouporganization is their purpose
is, and it's set by them, by theego, right?
Stephanie Allen (06:51):
So when you're looking at it's like, you know,
you're telling the universe whatyou want or what the group
wants, and there's not a lot ofspace to actually listen. You're
just kind of putting it outthere and then creating the map
or the plan to make that happen,versus going, hmm, what does my
soul or spirit or the universe,whatever language you use, want
(07:16):
to have happen? So it's, it's inrelationship. I look at it as a
relationship. It's it's notabout me always having my way or
you always having your way.
It's, what is the... what is theUS? What is the unity aspect and
meaning from a deeper place ofour souls, an agreement.
Maren Oslac (07:34):
In the past, you used a word in relationship to
mission of it's a calling. Yeah,it's a calling. It's like, it's
almost like, when you when youfeel called by something, and
you do all of the other stuff,there's still a lack of
fulfillment, because you, youhaven't moved towards that
calling. And I think that a lotof people can actually really
(07:58):
relate to that, especially intoday's day and age, where we're
so distracted we're being pulledin lots of direct, different
directions. Here's a simpleexample of like, I start my day
with really great intentions ofdoing the things that I know
will move the needle and reallybeing present to that listening
(08:19):
of I'm in the conversation withwhat wants to happen, the future
that wants to happen, and then Iget distracted, and I do this
thing over here, and I do thatthing over there, and this
person needs something and and Istop listening in the middle of
my day to know, are those inalignment with where I'm really
(08:41):
meant to be for that day, whatI've asked for, what I'm in that
conversation with, with thecalling, right, that that deeper
calling. And at the end of myday, I realized, like... Oh, I
got really distracted. And soit's not a good, bad, a great,
wrong. It's an awareness, andthis is taking us to the Inner
(09:02):
Mastery. I think most of thetime, we'll go into shame around
that when we get to that place,whether it's at the end of the
day or the end of a project orthe end of a whatever, and we
realize that's not quite the waylike I envisioned, that it would
be, or that it doesn't reallyfeed my soul, and then we shame
(09:24):
ourselves. So that inner masteryis that ongoing conversation of,
oh, that's interesting, thequest that you're talking about,
oh, that's interesting, wheredoes that...so what's next for
me? -If I'm in this conversationwith life, the universe, the one
who sent you, your soul,whatever you want to call that.
Stephanie Allen (09:49):
So it's interesting, because I think
we're told, we're conditionedmostly to have answers and to
take action like we're basicallyjudged and by performance, by
what we do in this outer world.
And we can be still listening,and it would look, might look
(10:15):
like procrastination or lack ofself confidence, when really
it's sitting in the question,sitting in the not knowing, with
faith of like, okay, there is areason I'm here. There's a
reason this is, this is astumbling block, not that it's
from a right or wrong or good orbad reason, but that it may be
(10:35):
slowing us down for a reason, orit may be having us really be
present to what is being calledof us. So coming back to that
calling, you know, our teacherDaniel Goodenough. part of the
HuPerson Project, and it talksabout life mission that it is,
it's already embedded in ourDNA, our reason for being here,
(11:00):
and it's buried. And sometimesthere are times in our life that
there's pain and suffering,which helps to unveil some of
those deeper gifts andstrengths, but sometimes there's
also joy and inspiration, whichalso helps to unveil and I love
that Daniel talks about ourmission is actually... we do
need to choose. That's where ourfree will comes from, is to be
(11:24):
able to choose from... do youwant it through pain and
suffering, or would you like itthrough joy and inspiration? And
there needs to be a practice oflooking within so that one can
create a space to actuallyreceive the guidance, to receive
the next step. And it doesn'tjust happen. I mean, it might.
It's like, you know, whensomeone meditates and they go, I
(11:46):
had the best meditation forever.
It was so great. I would just,like, reach such great inner
peace. Like, yeah, that's mostof the time...that's a fluke. I
mean if you really don't...
Maren Oslac (11:56):
...if they don't have a regular practice...
Stephanie Allen (11:58):
yeah, and even if you have a regular practice
like that's pretty rare. Yougotta work it. And so what I'm
saying is that our purpose issaying that, not to say that our
purpose doesn't have work in it,but our purpose is something
that our ego, or the group ego,decides what they're going...
what we're up to. But themission is how you're actually
being called, and that requiresdeep listening and preparation
(12:21):
on the inner. Both of themrequire work and practices. They
tend to just do the purposething and not really being open
to... because a mission like youthink, if somebody gives you
like I think of MissionImpossible with Tom Cruise,
right? You know, you get, youknow, are you ready to accept
this mission? And it's alwaysgoing to put you outside of your
comfort zone. It is going tochallenge you, and it may not
(12:44):
even be something that you go,oh, damn. Like, I don't even
want to do that. Like that'sgonna require a whole lot of
changes in my mind, inmy way ofbehaving, in my in my emotions.
That's going to... and so doespurpose too. But there's
something that you know you'rebeing chosen for.
Maren Oslac (13:09):
Well, I think sometimes, I think sometimes we
get caught up in purpose so thatwe stay busy and we don't
actually have to look at thedeeper mission, because if we
stay busy, then it keeps theinner voice at bay most of the
(13:34):
time, the inner voice that'ssaying, you know, there's more.
You know, there's more. And thenwhen we get quiet and still, we
are uncomfortable, because thenwe hear that voice that says,
you know, there's more, and wethink, because of our
conditioning in this culture,that means that we're supposed
(13:55):
to do more, right? Howexhausting, like we're, I'm
doing everything I freaking can.
What do you mean? There's more.
I'm supposed to do more? And oneof the things I remember when
Daniel, you mentioned DanielGoodenough, our teacher, I
remember when he said to me, youdo know that being still and the
(14:17):
inner listening is action. And Iwas like, flabbergasted. I was
like... No!
Stephanie Allen (14:26):
Yeah, we don't think about that do we?
Maren Oslac (14:27):
I am not doing anything, I'm not doing...
because I was so conditioned tobe in motion in the outer world
that was like, oh, sitting,being in stillness is an action.
It's just it's an uncomfortableaction for most of us, because
we're not trained how to do it.
Stephanie Allen (14:47):
I think about someone who maybe is going
through a real rough time intheir life. You know, a job loss
or relationship loss or healthloss. You know, a lot of times
when someone comes to me andthey have, say, a life
threatening disease, and they'relike, so why, you know? Why is
this happening to me? I've doneeverything right. You know, I
(15:08):
ate right, I exercise. And it'slike it has nothing to do, it
may have nothing to do withwhether or not you did things
right or wrong, or good or bad.
It may have nothing. This may bea calling. This could be very
much part of your life missionis what you are going through
something that is very, there'san example of life mission. You
know, sometimes it is someone'sreason for being to actually go
(15:31):
through something reallychallenging and hard, because
what is going to change in themin order to overcome it, or or
even what's going to create thatripple effect of awareness of
those around them? Like, I'm notalways saying that. You know,
maybe you're, you've been giventhe unfortunate of a life
threatening disease. You know,healing does not mean that you
(15:54):
overcome that disease. Healingis who you change and how you
how you go through it. Thiscould be very much your mission,
because one person does not gothrough something alone. Anyone
you know who's gone through areal hard go, there's so many of
the loved ones that are affectedaround that. So it can be what
wakes us up or shakes us up.
(16:17):
It's a really difficult lifemission, for sure, absolutely.
But your purpose then could be,hey, how am I going to go
through this? What am I goingto... my purpose is to let love
in. My purpose is to ask forhelp. My purpose is to maybe
change a way of thinking orbeing, or, you know, or just
(16:37):
literally being in it. Mypurpose is to sit still and be
receptive to what wants tohappen. Do you see the
differences between the lifemission and and purpose is very,
very different. And so often,you know, even wedding vows or,
you know, mission statements,it's so interesting. A lot of
times, in a mission statement,in a whether it's in a
(16:58):
relationship or whether it's ina business, is really talking
about purpose, not really themission. It's different. Yeah,
it's because the mission isgoing to supersede you, or
supersede the team or super seethe lifetime of something. It's
beyond your ego. Yeah, andyou're not actually meant to
(17:19):
actually arrive at it. I thinkit's, it's you're meant to
mission, you're meant to quest.
It's a quest, an ongoing quest.
Purpose is kind of once anddone, really. It's like, yeah,
my purpose is this, okay, checkthe box. I got it. Yep.
Maren Oslac (17:33):
So I almost want you to speak more on that,
because we are so... we're so(sigh) like, as a culture, we're
so transactional that it's, it'sthe...I set my intention or my
goal, and I achieve it. We're soachieved. That's the word I was
looking for, achievementoriented, right? We're so
(17:55):
achievement oriented that whenyou said you're not actually
meant to achieve the mission, oryou might not have right? Like
it's not necessarily about theachievement of the mission, I
could see multiple thingshappening for most people. A lot
of people going, what the f***does that mean? Or why bother
(18:17):
just checking out and saying shedoesn't know what the heck she's
talking about. So can you talk alittle bit more about what that
means for you maybe?
Stephanie Allen (18:29):
Hmmm, it's a great question. I think, like
you said, we get so attached tothe measurement of how close am
I to the finish line versus whatyour...and then I think...
Maren Oslac (18:46):
and we judge ourselves on that right, like we
judge ourselves whether I'vemade it to the finish line or I
haven't, or like I'm if I'm goodenough, I've made it to the
finish line, or I've gottenthere faster than ... so, you
know, like all of that stuff.
Stephanie Allen (19:00):
Yeah, I look at it more like a relay, of like
I'm meant to hand off, or I'mmeant to get it started, or
maybe keep it going, or maybe,you know, I don't think it's
ever meant... like a spiral, aspiral relay that just keeps
going, and that it does change.
It does evolve. It and it'sgoing to involve a lot more than
just me. In order to do that.
Maren Oslac (19:22):
I was thinking that like, that implies that there's
more than just you involved. Andthat's one of the things that
the mystics say, is that, youknow, we're all connected, so,
as above, so below. You know,there's so many different ways
that it's said that we're allconnected. We're all one being,
(19:42):
and we're different aspects ofthe oneness, etc. And so getting
beyond, I don't know if I loveeven using those words of like
that next step, where that wecan take, where we're inclusive,
and we say, okay, if we're allin this together, then what does
that look like? What's my relay?
Who are, who are my people thatI'm questing with in this
(20:05):
incarnation, or in this, youknow, like the everywhere,
every, everywhere, what? Whatwas that movie?
Stephanie Allen (20:16):
Everything Everywhere All at Once? Yes.
Maren Oslac (20:19):
So she, you know, where she visited all the
different possible realitiesthat she was in. One of the
things that it made me think ofwas I tend to get lots of ideas.
And for a while in my life, formuch of my life, I thought that
(20:40):
if I had an idea, I was supposedto do something with it. And
there's the that achiever brain,right? Like I have to, I have to
make that happen. And so I wasrunning after idea after idea
after idea. And again, one of myteachers had said to me, and
this goes speaks to what youwere just saying, of we're in it
(21:01):
with other people. He said,often times, idea people will
get ideas that aren't actuallytheirs to do anything with, or
maybe they are going to addsomething to the idea, just
mentally, or, you know, sketchsomething out, or it's not -
there, there may be somebodyelse who's meant to take that
(21:24):
idea and run with it. And theideas don't live in just our
brains. The ideas live in thefield. There's a there's a
morphogenetic field that we alltap into. And so when one person
has an idea, multiple peoplehave that idea and and I loved
the concept of that I could addto that idea, and somebody else
(21:51):
could get my addition, and itwould help them with what they
were creating. And it wasn'tlike 'Mission accomplished'.
Speaking of missions, right?
Purpose accomplished, maybe? Inthat that that achiever, we have
to do everything, makeeverything happen. It may not
happen the way that we thinkthat it is, and we are all in it
(22:14):
together. So how are...
what's... How am I pass... Ilove that idea of the relay.
What am I passing on to the nextperson? Okay, here's, here's my
leg of the relay, yours, youknow? And I don't know who I'm
passing it off to. I just, Itry, goes back to something that
(22:35):
we've talked a lot about, of, doI live in a, you know, lik...
it's Einstein's quote, the mostimportant decision to level
ever, ever make is whether youlive in a friendly universe or
not.
Stephanie Allen (22:51):
Yeah. I mean to me, I see it as collaboration
rather than competition.
Sometimes, when we come from theego place of purpose, it becomes
competition, and it can be if wetranslate it into that you've
been chosen, you have gifts andstrengths and magic within you,
(23:12):
and you've been chosen toactually, literally unfold
something in this world, orbecome something in this world,
then you can't do it alone. Itrequires a surrender and a
listening and an actualreceptivity of allowing help and
(23:32):
love in. And that is the paththat we don't often travel.
Maren Oslac (23:40):
And that's the the handing the the handing the
baton off, of knowing that youlive in a friendly universe,
because if you do live in afriendly universe, then if I
hand the baton off, it's notgoing to come back and bite my
hand where, when you live in acompetitive universe, that's
(24:02):
what you're taught. You know? Iknow that's one of the beliefs
that I used to have. And so whenI take this and bring it back to
inner mastery and clarity andclarity happening on multiple
levels of what is mine to doright now? Which is a purpose,
and what is mine to do in thebigger scheme of things, maybe,
(24:26):
what am I being called to do?
Which is my personal mission,and when I'm clear, when the
only way I well, I shouldn't saythat the fastest way that I've
found, because I've beenstudying this since I was before
I was even a teenager, I gotpulled into self development
work and the inner work, and sohaving studied it for over 50
(24:50):
years... 40... over 40 years,I'm still not quite that old.
The fastest path is this innermastery that we're talking
about, like being in the innerconversation really does change
the outer world and how weexperience it, not just how we
experience it. Yes, it willdefinitely change how you
(25:13):
experience it, and it canliterally change what's
happening out there.
Stephanie Allen (25:22):
Yeah, and the inner listening is part of that.
Maren Oslac (25:26):
And it does take a consistency of practice.
Stephanie Allen (25:29):
And a group to help you kind of look inside
that it's safe to hold you, youknow, to be present to you, to
have someone to maybe keep youaccountable, or to at least ask
you questions, to go deeper.
Yeah, it's so helpful. We doneed each other. You know, we do
not meant to be. I always likethat word all alone, which
(25:53):
really means all one. It's likewe're never really alone. And
when we invite others in, weactually become so much more.
Maren Oslac (26:05):
what you're saying is like, when you pull apart the
word alone, a, l, o, n, e, youget all one. That's right. And I
think that we are in aloneliness epidemic right now,
that's one of the things, one ofthe, you know, wicked problems
(26:26):
that is out there in the world.
And so if just even that onetidbit of recognizing that we
are all one, we're not alone
Stephanie Allen (26:37):
exactly,
Maren Oslac (26:38):
and that there is somebody who's passing a baton
to you, and somebody who'slooking for like, hey, you got
something, let's let's play withthat. I want to play in your
world too. There are people outthere, and I know one of the
things that we would like to dois help more and more people to
(27:00):
be in that collaborativeuniverse and step into that
place instead of the oldconditioned like it's, it's, it
feels so tired at this point,and it feels so forced, the
competition. And so if you'relooking for people with whom you
can be in collaboration, reachout, because we might know
(27:22):
somebody that, hey, they're alsolooking for exactly what you
have. Let's do that together.
Stephanie Allen (27:30):
Helping each other. That's what it's all
about, isn't it?
Maren Oslac (27:32):
Absolutely, absolutely. So keep an eye out
for our Inner Mastery Class thatwe have coming up, because it
may speak to you, it might becalling your name, because we
will be working on practices,regular, consistent practices,
and helping people to find that,and also building community. And
(27:56):
we would love for you to be apart of it, if that's... if it
speaks to you. So we willcontinue our Inner Mastery
Series here on the podcast aswell as the class that we're
offering, and we'll look forwardto seeing you all on the next
iteration of The Soulful LeaderPodcast. Thanks for joining us,
(28:18):
and you can find us on LinkedInand Facebook at The Soulful
Leaders, and you can subscribeto our YouTube channel and see
our little talking heads and getto see some snippets, and we're
going to be throwing someadditional stuff up there. So
join us on YouTube also at TheSoulful Leaders. See you soon.
Stephanie Allen (28:45):
And that wraps up another episode of The
Soulful Leader Podcast with yourhosts, Stephanie Allen
Maren Oslac (28:51):
and Maren Oslac.
Thank you for listening. Ifyou'd like to dive deeper, head
over to our website, atwww.TheSoulful LeaderPodcast.com
Stephanie Allen (29:02):
Until next time...
In a world where we have everything and
it's still not enough, we'reoften left wondering, is this
really it?
Maren Oslac (00:10):
Deep inside you know, there's more to life
you're ready to leave behind theold push your way through and
claim the deeper, moremeaningful life that's calling
you.
Stephanie Allen (00:19):
That's what we invite you to explore with us.
We're your hosts, StephanieAllen and
Maren Oslac (00:25):
Maren Oslac, and this is The Soulful Leader
Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (00:30):
Yay! Hi.
Welcome to The Soulful LeaderPodcast, and I'm here with Maren
and super excited about talkingabout clarity. First of all,
what even is clarity, and whyare we seeking it so much, you
know? And what happens whenwe're not clear?
Maren Oslac (00:49):
And just if you've been listening into our series
last week, we started talkingabout, actually, two weeks ago,
three weeks ago, whatever itwas, a couple of podcasts ago,
we started talking about innermastery, and clarity is one of
the tenants of inner mastery. Sowe really wanted to go into what
is clarity and why is itimportant to to being masterful
(01:16):
on the interior. And if you'vemissed those podcasts we started
with, I think it was episode 183which was What is Inner Mastery.
And then we had episode 184where we talked about emotional
regulation. So today we'redigging further in and going
into clarity.
Stephanie Allen (01:35):
Yeah, clarity of purpose is, is interesting
word too, like thinking of theword... well, clarity and
purpose. I have witnessed somuch, even in myself. It's like,
dang, I just want to know, like,can I just figure this out? Can
I just have the answer and thenI'll be set for life? You know?
I'll just kind of go on mylittle path and work with that
(01:56):
focus and clarity. But the thingis, is that it isn't a one and
done, and I think it's reallyimportant to say that.
Maren Oslac (02:05):
I think it is too because I think that we're
trained as a culture right nowin this like... Oh, I got it, I
got it. I got that. I understandthat, you know, I look at so
many classes and I know youthese things drive you nuts, the
(02:25):
three steps to clarity ofpurpose...
Stephanie Allen (02:29):
Right?
Maren Oslac (02:30):
Right? Change your entire business model in 10 easy
steps?
Stephanie Allen (02:35):
Yeah, I think of it like, you know, if I'm
cooking and I have a recipe andthere's, like, you know, so many
ingredients and has to be put inthis order, and has to be...
(03:00):
which is great if you're bakinga cake, if you're making
something and even then, I youknow, you can add a little extra
spice, you can take a little bitaway some sugar, and, you know,
(03:28):
there's a lot of things that wecan change and make different.
But when we talk about mastery,we really need that... the map
Maren Oslac (03:42):
Yeah, so when you're talking about that,
cycle...when we go back toclarity of purpose or clarity in
is inside all of us, and thereisn't a one and done. There
our lives, I think we do getcaught in this, 'If I could just
isn't just one map that one sizefits all. It's not and even your
find clarity, everything elsewould be okay.' And I actually
kind of agree with thatstatement, and I also have a
(04:05):
own personal map is going tohave changes and rerouting. You
problem with it, and so I'llstart with the agree part I
agree with the statement isbecause I do think that the lack
know, that's what makes theadventure really cool. That's
of clarity causes a lot ofproblems in our lives. And the
challenge that I have with thatstatement is that clarity is
why it called a quest. And thequest is a question. It's not an
(04:27):
a... it's not what we'reactually seeking. I know that
sounds strange, so it's it's theintermediary type of thing. It's
answer. It's like for me, how dowe ask better questions so that
when I look at clarity, clarityabout what? There's something
it will lead us on the quest formore clarity? But, and to
behind the clarity. And I thinkthat's one of the things we
(04:49):
wanted to get to in relationshipto inner mastery, because we can
continue asking questions, thereisn't like a game, there's a
have clarity of purpose. Okay,my purpose is to get up and get
start and a finish. It's an everevolving process, and to have
some food because I'm hungry,I'm pretty clear that I'm hungry
and I need food. And, you know,I got my clarity. That doesn't
(05:09):
joy in that process.
help with my big life, like,like, the bigger life, like, oh,
I have angst in my life.
Stephanie Allen (05:19):
Yeah, coming from the questions of, who am I?
Yeah...we tendto use that...those words kind
Why am I here? What is thepurpose or meaning of my life?
Maren Oslac (05:24):
Yes, and that's where, when we have clarity
around those things, we cantransform our lives and from a
place of joy and inspiration,which is what you and I are all
about. You know, many people arehelping with, once you're
whacked upside the head or, youknow, you're in drama and
(05:44):
trauma, how do you how... do youmove out of that? One of the
things that you and I arestanding for is you don't have
to actually get whacked upsidethe head or go into drama and
trauma, and we can, we cantransform our lives, and the
path to that is beyond clarityof purpose, I think it's clarity
(06:05):
of mission. So I love when youtalk about the difference
between purpose and mission. Youwant to share that with us?
of simultaneous, like, you know,meaning...
...interchangeably.
Stephanie Allen (06:19):
Yeah, but they're definitely not. Like,
when you think of a purpose,this is my perspective, anyway,
is that when I think of purpose,it's coming from me, myself, and
I... the ego, like I want thisor I'm seeking that. So it's
like...
Maren Oslac (06:37):
...it could be an organization. When you say, 'I'
...it could be a grouporganization is their purpose
is, and it's set by them, by theego, right?
Stephanie Allen (06:51):
So when you're looking at it's like, you know,
you're telling the universe whatyou want or what the group
wants, and there's not a lot ofspace to actually listen. You're
just kind of putting it outthere and then creating the map
or the plan to make that happen,versus going, hmm, what does my
soul or spirit or the universe,whatever language you use, want
(07:16):
to have happen? So it's, it's inrelationship. I look at it as a
relationship. It's it's notabout me always having my way or
you always having your way.
It's, what is the... what is theUS? What is the unity aspect and
meaning from a deeper place ofour souls, an agreement.
Maren Oslac (07:34):
In the past, you used a word in relationship to
mission of it's a calling. Yeah,it's a calling. It's like, it's
almost like, when you when youfeel called by something, and
you do all of the other stuff,there's still a lack of
fulfillment, because you, youhaven't moved towards that
calling. And I think that a lotof people can actually really
(07:58):
relate to that, especially intoday's day and age, where we're
so distracted we're being pulledin lots of direct, different
directions. Here's a simpleexample of like, I start my day
with really great intentions ofdoing the things that I know
will move the needle and reallybeing present to that listening
(08:19):
of I'm in the conversation withwhat wants to happen, the future
that wants to happen, and then Iget distracted, and I do this
thing over here, and I do thatthing over there, and this
person needs something and and Istop listening in the middle of
my day to know, are those inalignment with where I'm really
(08:41):
meant to be for that day, whatI've asked for, what I'm in that
conversation with, with thecalling, right, that that deeper
calling. And at the end of myday, I realized, like... Oh, I
got really distracted. And soit's not a good, bad, a great,
wrong. It's an awareness, andthis is taking us to the Inner
(09:02):
Mastery. I think most of thetime, we'll go into shame around
that when we get to that place,whether it's at the end of the
day or the end of a project orthe end of a whatever, and we
realize that's not quite the waylike I envisioned, that it would
be, or that it doesn't reallyfeed my soul, and then we shame
(09:24):
ourselves. So that inner masteryis that ongoing conversation of,
oh, that's interesting, thequest that you're talking about,
oh, that's interesting, wheredoes that...so what's next for
me? -If I'm in this conversationwith life, the universe, the one
who sent you, your soul,whatever you want to call that.
Stephanie Allen (09:49):
So it's interesting, because I think
we're told, we're conditionedmostly to have answers and to
take action like we're basicallyjudged and by performance, by
what we do in this outer world.
And we can be still listening,and it would look, might look
(10:15):
like procrastination or lack ofself confidence, when really
it's sitting in the question,sitting in the not knowing, with
faith of like, okay, there is areason I'm here. There's a
reason this is, this is astumbling block, not that it's
from a right or wrong or good orbad reason, but that it may be
(10:35):
slowing us down for a reason, orit may be having us really be
present to what is being calledof us. So coming back to that
calling, you know, our teacherDaniel Goodenough. part of the
HuPerson Project, and it talksabout life mission that it is,
it's already embedded in ourDNA, our reason for being here,
(11:00):
and it's buried. And sometimesthere are times in our life that
there's pain and suffering,which helps to unveil some of
those deeper gifts andstrengths, but sometimes there's
also joy and inspiration, whichalso helps to unveil and I love
that Daniel talks about ourmission is actually... we do
need to choose. That's where ourfree will comes from, is to be
(11:24):
able to choose from... do youwant it through pain and
suffering, or would you like itthrough joy and inspiration? And
there needs to be a practice oflooking within so that one can
create a space to actuallyreceive the guidance, to receive
the next step. And it doesn'tjust happen. I mean, it might.
It's like, you know, whensomeone meditates and they go, I
(11:46):
had the best meditation forever.
It was so great. I would just,like, reach such great inner
peace. Like, yeah, that's mostof the time...that's a fluke. I
mean if you really don't...
Maren Oslac (11:56):
...if they don't have a regular practice...
Stephanie Allen (11:58):
yeah, and even if you have a regular practice
like that's pretty rare. Yougotta work it. And so what I'm
saying is that our purpose issaying that, not to say that our
purpose doesn't have work in it,but our purpose is something
that our ego, or the group ego,decides what they're going...
what we're up to. But themission is how you're actually
being called, and that requiresdeep listening and preparation
(12:21):
on the inner. Both of themrequire work and practices. They
tend to just do the purposething and not really being open
to... because a mission like youthink, if somebody gives you
like I think of MissionImpossible with Tom Cruise,
right? You know, you get, youknow, are you ready to accept
this mission? And it's alwaysgoing to put you outside of your
comfort zone. It is going tochallenge you, and it may not
(12:44):
even be something that you go,oh, damn. Like, I don't even
want to do that. Like that'sgonna require a whole lot of
changes in my mind, inmy way ofbehaving, in my in my emotions.
That's going to... and so doespurpose too. But there's
something that you know you'rebeing chosen for.
Maren Oslac (13:09):
Well, I think sometimes, I think sometimes we
get caught up in purpose so thatwe stay busy and we don't
actually have to look at thedeeper mission, because if we
stay busy, then it keeps theinner voice at bay most of the
(13:34):
time, the inner voice that'ssaying, you know, there's more.
You know, there's more. And thenwhen we get quiet and still, we
are uncomfortable, because thenwe hear that voice that says,
you know, there's more, and wethink, because of our
conditioning in this culture,that means that we're supposed
(13:55):
to do more, right? Howexhausting, like we're, I'm
doing everything I freaking can.
What do you mean? There's more.
I'm supposed to do more? And oneof the things I remember when
Daniel, you mentioned DanielGoodenough, our teacher, I
remember when he said to me, youdo know that being still and the
(14:17):
inner listening is action. And Iwas like, flabbergasted. I was
like... No!
Stephanie Allen (14:26):
Yeah, we don't think about that do we?
Maren Oslac (14:27):
I am not doing anything, I'm not doing...
because I was so conditioned tobe in motion in the outer world
that was like, oh, sitting,being in stillness is an action.
It's just it's an uncomfortableaction for most of us, because
we're not trained how to do it.
Stephanie Allen (14:47):
I think about someone who maybe is going
through a real rough time intheir life. You know, a job loss
or relationship loss or healthloss. You know, a lot of times
when someone comes to me andthey have, say, a life
threatening disease, and they'relike, so why, you know? Why is
this happening to me? I've doneeverything right. You know, I
(15:08):
ate right, I exercise. And it'slike it has nothing to do, it
may have nothing to do withwhether or not you did things
right or wrong, or good or bad.
It may have nothing. This may bea calling. This could be very
much part of your life missionis what you are going through
something that is very, there'san example of life mission. You
know, sometimes it is someone'sreason for being to actually go
(15:31):
through something reallychallenging and hard, because
what is going to change in themin order to overcome it, or or
even what's going to create thatripple effect of awareness of
those around them? Like, I'm notalways saying that. You know,
maybe you're, you've been giventhe unfortunate of a life
threatening disease. You know,healing does not mean that you
(15:54):
overcome that disease. Healingis who you change and how you
how you go through it. Thiscould be very much your mission,
because one person does not gothrough something alone. Anyone
you know who's gone through areal hard go, there's so many of
the loved ones that are affectedaround that. So it can be what
wakes us up or shakes us up.
(16:17):
It's a really difficult lifemission, for sure, absolutely.
But your purpose then could be,hey, how am I going to go
through this? What am I goingto... my purpose is to let love
in. My purpose is to ask forhelp. My purpose is to maybe
change a way of thinking orbeing, or, you know, or just
(16:37):
literally being in it. Mypurpose is to sit still and be
receptive to what wants tohappen. Do you see the
differences between the lifemission and and purpose is very,
very different. And so often,you know, even wedding vows or,
you know, mission statements,it's so interesting. A lot of
times, in a mission statement,in a whether it's in a
(16:58):
relationship or whether it's ina business, is really talking
about purpose, not really themission. It's different. Yeah,
it's because the mission isgoing to supersede you, or
supersede the team or super seethe lifetime of something. It's
beyond your ego. Yeah, andyou're not actually meant to
(17:19):
actually arrive at it. I thinkit's, it's you're meant to
mission, you're meant to quest.
It's a quest, an ongoing quest.
Purpose is kind of once anddone, really. It's like, yeah,
my purpose is this, okay, checkthe box. I got it. Yep.
Maren Oslac (17:33):
So I almost want you to speak more on that,
because we are so... we're so(sigh) like, as a culture, we're
so transactional that it's, it'sthe...I set my intention or my
goal, and I achieve it. We're soachieved. That's the word I was
looking for, achievementoriented, right? We're so
(17:55):
achievement oriented that whenyou said you're not actually
meant to achieve the mission, oryou might not have right? Like
it's not necessarily about theachievement of the mission, I
could see multiple thingshappening for most people. A lot
of people going, what the f***does that mean? Or why bother
(18:17):
just checking out and saying shedoesn't know what the heck she's
talking about. So can you talk alittle bit more about what that
means for you maybe?
Stephanie Allen (18:29):
Hmmm, it's a great question. I think, like
you said, we get so attached tothe measurement of how close am
I to the finish line versus whatyour...and then I think...
Maren Oslac (18:46):
and we judge ourselves on that right, like we
judge ourselves whether I'vemade it to the finish line or I
haven't, or like I'm if I'm goodenough, I've made it to the
finish line, or I've gottenthere faster than ... so, you
know, like all of that stuff.
Stephanie Allen (19:00):
Yeah, I look at it more like a relay, of like
I'm meant to hand off, or I'mmeant to get it started, or
maybe keep it going, or maybe,you know, I don't think it's
ever meant... like a spiral, aspiral relay that just keeps
going, and that it does change.
It does evolve. It and it'sgoing to involve a lot more than
just me. In order to do that.
Maren Oslac (19:22):
I was thinking that like, that implies that there's
more than just you involved. Andthat's one of the things that
the mystics say, is that, youknow, we're all connected, so,
as above, so below. You know,there's so many different ways
that it's said that we're allconnected. We're all one being,
(19:42):
and we're different aspects ofthe oneness, etc. And so getting
beyond, I don't know if I loveeven using those words of like
that next step, where that wecan take, where we're inclusive,
and we say, okay, if we're allin this together, then what does
that look like? What's my relay?
Who are, who are my people thatI'm questing with in this
(20:05):
incarnation, or in this, youknow, like the everywhere,
every, everywhere, what? Whatwas that movie?
Stephanie Allen (20:16):
Everything Everywhere All at Once? Yes.
Maren Oslac (20:19):
So she, you know, where she visited all the
different possible realitiesthat she was in. One of the
things that it made me think ofwas I tend to get lots of ideas.
And for a while in my life, formuch of my life, I thought that
(20:40):
if I had an idea, I was supposedto do something with it. And
there's the that achiever brain,right? Like I have to, I have to
make that happen. And so I wasrunning after idea after idea
after idea. And again, one of myteachers had said to me, and
this goes speaks to what youwere just saying, of we're in it
(21:01):
with other people. He said,often times, idea people will
get ideas that aren't actuallytheirs to do anything with, or
maybe they are going to addsomething to the idea, just
mentally, or, you know, sketchsomething out, or it's not -
there, there may be somebodyelse who's meant to take that
(21:24):
idea and run with it. And theideas don't live in just our
brains. The ideas live in thefield. There's a there's a
morphogenetic field that we alltap into. And so when one person
has an idea, multiple peoplehave that idea and and I loved
the concept of that I could addto that idea, and somebody else
(21:51):
could get my addition, and itwould help them with what they
were creating. And it wasn'tlike 'Mission accomplished'.
Speaking of missions, right?
Purpose accomplished, maybe? Inthat that that achiever, we have
to do everything, makeeverything happen. It may not
happen the way that we thinkthat it is, and we are all in it
(22:14):
together. So how are...
what's... How am I pass... Ilove that idea of the relay.
What am I passing on to the nextperson? Okay, here's, here's my
leg of the relay, yours, youknow? And I don't know who I'm
passing it off to. I just, Itry, goes back to something that
(22:35):
we've talked a lot about, of, doI live in a, you know, lik...
it's Einstein's quote, the mostimportant decision to level
ever, ever make is whether youlive in a friendly universe or
not.
Stephanie Allen (22:51):
Yeah. I mean to me, I see it as collaboration
rather than competition.
Sometimes, when we come from theego place of purpose, it becomes
competition, and it can be if wetranslate it into that you've
been chosen, you have gifts andstrengths and magic within you,
(23:12):
and you've been chosen toactually, literally unfold
something in this world, orbecome something in this world,
then you can't do it alone. Itrequires a surrender and a
listening and an actualreceptivity of allowing help and
(23:32):
love in. And that is the paththat we don't often travel.
Maren Oslac (23:40):
And that's the the handing the the handing the
baton off, of knowing that youlive in a friendly universe,
because if you do live in afriendly universe, then if I
hand the baton off, it's notgoing to come back and bite my
hand where, when you live in acompetitive universe, that's
(24:02):
what you're taught. You know? Iknow that's one of the beliefs
that I used to have. And so whenI take this and bring it back to
inner mastery and clarity andclarity happening on multiple
levels of what is mine to doright now? Which is a purpose,
and what is mine to do in thebigger scheme of things, maybe,
(24:26):
what am I being called to do?
Which is my personal mission,and when I'm clear, when the
only way I well, I shouldn't saythat the fastest way that I've
found, because I've beenstudying this since I was before
I was even a teenager, I gotpulled into self development
work and the inner work, and sohaving studied it for over 50
(24:50):
years... 40... over 40 years,I'm still not quite that old.
The fastest path is this innermastery that we're talking
about, like being in the innerconversation really does change
the outer world and how weexperience it, not just how we
experience it. Yes, it willdefinitely change how you
(25:13):
experience it, and it canliterally change what's
happening out there.
Stephanie Allen (25:22):
Yeah, and the inner listening is part of that.
Maren Oslac (25:26):
And it does take a consistency of practice.
Stephanie Allen (25:29):
And a group to help you kind of look inside
that it's safe to hold you, youknow, to be present to you, to
have someone to maybe keep youaccountable, or to at least ask
you questions, to go deeper.
Yeah, it's so helpful. We doneed each other. You know, we do
not meant to be. I always likethat word all alone, which
(25:53):
really means all one. It's likewe're never really alone. And
when we invite others in, weactually become so much more.
Maren Oslac (26:05):
what you're saying is like, when you pull apart the
word alone, a, l, o, n, e, youget all one. That's right. And I
think that we are in aloneliness epidemic right now,
that's one of the things, one ofthe, you know, wicked problems
(26:26):
that is out there in the world.
And so if just even that onetidbit of recognizing that we
are all one, we're not alone
Stephanie Allen (26:37):
exactly,
Maren Oslac (26:38):
and that there is somebody who's passing a baton
to you, and somebody who'slooking for like, hey, you got
something, let's let's play withthat. I want to play in your
world too. There are people outthere, and I know one of the
things that we would like to dois help more and more people to
(27:00):
be in that collaborativeuniverse and step into that
place instead of the oldconditioned like it's, it's, it
feels so tired at this point,and it feels so forced, the
competition. And so if you'relooking for people with whom you
can be in collaboration, reachout, because we might know
(27:22):
somebody that, hey, they're alsolooking for exactly what you
have. Let's do that together.
Stephanie Allen (27:30):
Helping each other. That's what it's all
about, isn't it?
Maren Oslac (27:32):
Absolutely, absolutely. So keep an eye out
for our Inner Mastery Class thatwe have coming up, because it
may speak to you, it might becalling your name, because we
will be working on practices,regular, consistent practices,
and helping people to find that,and also building community. And
(27:56):
we would love for you to be apart of it, if that's... if it
speaks to you. So we willcontinue our Inner Mastery
Series here on the podcast aswell as the class that we're
offering, and we'll look forwardto seeing you all on the next
iteration of The Soulful LeaderPodcast. Thanks for joining us,
(28:18):
and you can find us on LinkedInand Facebook at The Soulful
Leaders, and you can subscribeto our YouTube channel and see
our little talking heads and getto see some snippets, and we're
going to be throwing someadditional stuff up there. So
join us on YouTube also at TheSoulful Leaders. See you soon.
Stephanie Allen (28:45):
And that wraps up another episode of The
Soulful Leader Podcast with yourhosts, Stephanie Allen
Maren Oslac (28:51):
and Maren Oslac.
Thank you for listening. Ifyou'd like to dive deeper, head
over to our website, atwww.TheSoulful LeaderPodcast.com
Stephanie Allen (29:02):
Until next time...
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