EPISODE 22- REAL HEAVY ON ME

SPILLERS....LITTLE ROCK'S QUEEN OF LIVE MUSIC, MS. DEEDEE JONES IS IN THE BUILDING AND SHE DIDN'T HOLD NOTHING BACK.....TAP IN! -MRS. WILSON

Episode Transcript

(00:24):
Looking classy with your water. Wedon't get right that part, but I
love how you're drinking at your wineglass. Just classy. The classy ward
h two O and the wineglass.That's what we're doing in twenty twenty three.
Hey world, welcome back to theSpill Podcast, your favorite podcast,
featuring your favorite podcast host me yourgirl, Missus Luson. Welcome back Spillers

(00:49):
to episode twenty two. Listen.I told y'all we were wrapping season two
up with a bang, baby bang, begety bang bang, And I am
super x to have the Queen oflive music, the daughter of the late
My Show mister Danny Jones that wasmy mama homeboy back in the day'll v

(01:11):
D. D. Jones is inthe building. Pim pim bim bim bim
bim film. Hey d He,welcome to the Spill Podcast. I am
super no, I'm super excited thatyou are here. Thank you for being
here. Now listen, Spiell Lias. Let me explain something to y'all.
So D. D. Jones isbooked and busy. And when I say

(01:32):
booked in busy, I say thathumbly, but I'm just being one hundred
right. And her booked and busynesscomes with signing the back of check stubs.
But listen, I didn't have achick to give her the side.
So I am so humble and soappreciative y'all because she came to the Spill
podcast and is doing an interview,her utilizing her time, her energy,

(01:57):
her space just for the like.She didn't charge me nothing, she didn't
ask for nothing. I explained toher at the beginning listening, we up
and coming. You know, whenwe get them checks, I promise you,
I'm just gonna write you a checkjust because but we ain't got them
yet, you know what I'm saying. And she still was like that don't
matter. I'm not here for that. I'm here to support you and I
want to be there. And shecame so welcome and thank you so much

(02:21):
from the bottom of my heart.You know, the church people say you
could have been anywhere in the world, baby, but you're right here with
me, So I appreciate you.Listen, before we get any start,
before we go any further, speelers, you know what time it is.
It is our mental Spill check intime. This is the time of the
episode where we are intentional about beingtuned in with our mental right. We

(02:44):
want to make sure that everything iswell mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I
like to check it on my spillers. I feel like y'all hold me accountable,
so I'm hold y'all accountable. SoDede, every time you come into
the podcast room, I ask myspillers, how are you mentally? I
know you gotta going on. Youbooked and busy with your career. You're
a single mother. Will get intothat in the later on in the episode.

(03:06):
You're here there doctor Sue's voice,You're everywhere so d D. Despite
of everything that you have going on, good, bad, pretty ugly,
how are you mentally? Mentally?I can actually say that I am doing
well. It's the holiday season,so I'm missing my parents really really tough.

(03:28):
But other than that, you know, I have my kids and we're
just were making the day by day. I tell them every day, wake
up like it's your last, andjust enjoy the day. And so I'm
trying to live by what I preachto them, and so I can honestly
say that, you know, lifebe life in that part, but I
try to stay positive. I justsaw it on a while and that literally

(03:49):
which one on a peak while it'spositive rabbit, I love, yeah.
My Visually, I try to staypositive as much as I can. That's
why I don't do negative energy,Okay, but yeah, so mentally I
can say I'm doing pretty good today. Good and I love how you single
out today, because mental health issomething that we work towards and we practice

(04:11):
every single day. I was talkingto somebody about this a few weeks ago.
Somebody was like, one minute,they're posting this, and it was
a guy. It was a friendspeaking on a guy, and she was
like, one minute he's posting this. In the next minute, it's something
funny, you know, basically sayinghis posts are bipolar. And I was
like, well, you know,we are human and we have different emotions
at all times. Being in therapyfor seven or eight years, I've learned

(04:36):
that your emotions could be different withinten minutes. Literally, if you're a
grieving you can be super extremely sadone minute and something that can happen quickly
bring you joy happiness for the nextmoment. So it's a day by day
thing. One minute you may beall good, or you may post something
super funny or something joyful, andthe next day. It just maybe one

(04:56):
of those days you had a momentand you may not be where you want
to be, But that is okay. You are human. We have more
than one emotion, meaning that wecan feel and express those moments, and
more than in more than one time, more than one way. So I'm
glad you're well, d D.You look good to your beautiful every time
I see you, like close upbecause I'm used to seeing her on stage
stage feelers, but she always swingby, makes she she gives me a

(05:20):
hug and speak and every time Isee her, she's like, of course
always beautiful. But today is thefirst time that I'm actually looking at you
like in the eyes. Booll youfine, fine, pretty caremel But all
is well with me spillers of dayby day, like I just said,
And I just I love to sitin my emotions. That's how I heal.

(05:42):
So if I wait. This morning, I had a good devotion,
woke up, you know, andsome of the stuff in the devotion had
your girl in tears. You know, I was a happy tears and somewhere
sad tears. But I'm okay withit. I like sending my emotions because
I feel like when I identify withthem. When I connect with them and
I actually send in them. WhateverI'm projecting, I'm getting something better from
it. So if I'm projecting sadness, I know that gladness and that happiness

(06:05):
is coming. If I'm projecting joy, I know more joys come. Absolutely,
So all is well. If allis not well with you, spillers
say something so that we can dosomething. The Spill Podcast says all the
time, mental health is wealth.In order for you to be completely wealthy,
you gotta be healthy mentally. Okay, If you ain't healthy mentally,

(06:25):
what good are you? You knowwhat I'm saying, Just you know good?
So and a Bible tells us toseek wise counsel. So be okay
with getting therapy or being your owntherapists as long as you're doing the right
things. If you're going to beyour own therapist, all right, well,
thank you so much for that.DD. So we are moving on.
It is our social media shout outtime. If you're not following The

(06:47):
Spill Podcast, what are Your WayNow? Follow us on Instagram, The
Spill Podcast, twenty one, TikTok, the Spell, and YouTube, Follow
and subscribe like whatever they say,do all it at the spell podcast.
Now, d D you booked andbusy? Yes, you know, and
I have I do have some spillerswith some coinage, you know. So

(07:10):
I want you to give all ofthe spillers your social media handles so that
they can follow you and stay abreastall things B D D Jones. And
then for those who get their realcon coin and you ready to sign some
check stubs, you need a bookfor an event, whatever, I want
you to give them your information sothey can book you if they need to.

(07:30):
Okay, So Facebook and cash App, it's D D Jones. One,
that's D E E D E EJones. And the number one Okay,
that's Facebook and cash App, Instagram, tread lightly on Snapchat. Instagram
and Snapchat and Twitter is the keyof D that's D A K E y

(07:53):
O F D E E. Andthen my YouTube is the official D D
Jones So everywhere you can catch medoing something. Every single day, I
make sure I post some type ofcontent. Yeah every day I'm getting better.
But in your YouTube, the musicvideos, y'all need to get on
there, like if you need topick me up, if you need a
let me this how I'm really feelingtoday if you have issues and you need

(08:16):
some Tasia or some jazzmine you needin your spirit, please subscribe to that
YouTube because it's life. It givesyou life. Now, can you give
us the booking email? Because Idon't think I heard I did not do
that. So it's d D.Jones Music at gmail dot com. So
d D has always spelled out dE E D E E. Then Jones
music at gmail dot com. Youcan book me right there. All right,

(08:39):
So y'all got the information, Sodo what you have to do to
get at your girl. D D. Support her and of course support the
spell podcast. Now we are movingon to our spill tree in time,
So d D. The spill trendis the segment of the episode where I
normally talk about or illuminate all thingsblack. So it's things that goes on
in our culture. I like tosay black. Thank God, I'm black.

(09:01):
I won't take it bad. Hey, hey, I'm proud to be
black. Hey Hey, that's missCharlene's song. I got the song downloaded.
That's one of my songs. Ilove it. So we just northally
eliminate all things black blackie tea black. But this episode, I feel like
on this trend. I want toencourage us to love on ourselves. This

(09:26):
is a very heavy season for somany people. With that being said,
I feel like we need to beintentional and be heavy on loving ourselves.
I mean real heaven real heavy,you know. And that means if somebody
asks you to do something and you'reuncomfortable or you don't want to do it.
Hell now, if somebody asked youto show up somewhere and you're uncomfortable,
you don't have peace about it,get somebody else to do it.

(09:48):
Put no in your spirit. Mycousin Seed said he posted something off Facebook
yesterday and he was like, Ifeel a good no. It's really good.
It's a good holy ghost answer.So if you at a point or
a season, or a space inyour life to where you feel like you
need to say no, say it. It's okay. You do not have
to always be there for everybody allthe time. It's okay to be there

(10:11):
for yourself first. Okay, Sobe heavy on loving you this season.
Be heavy about letting, not lettinganybody play with you about you, because
if you let them play with youabout you, then they gonna go as
far as they can. If we'renot even gonna give them an inch.
We're not gonna let them start,okay, So be heavy on that.
And that is my spill trendy.Would you like to add something tonight?

(10:33):
All right? All right, sowe are back spillers. I hope you

(10:58):
all enjoyed that little you know formy boys, Philly move and Quincy Q
note Watson, that's when Phillips sayout of the side, so I have
to know that didn't. Okay,So we are moving onto our topic time
spill. As y'all know, ourtopic time or our topic is real heavy
on me. We heavy on us, like we we not let nobody to

(11:20):
play with us. It's heavy season. It's heavy season emotionally, but we're
finna be heavy on us so wecan protect some of those emotions. So
we're gonna start off by going wayback, way way way back. Now,
d D. You are an internationallyknown singer. Now I say internationally
known because honey, like I knowyou're known all over the States. But

(11:41):
that COVID Live that you did whenyou went live in your room, that's
when we was on shut down,shut down, lockdown, like at the
very beginning, and you went livein your room, I was in Texas
at my husband's house at the time. That's when he lived in Texas before
he moved up to Little Rock.But he was at work. He worked.
I think he worked from like twoto eleven. But the company he

(12:01):
was working for, we're in highdemand of foods and supplies, so he
literally had to be at the warehouselike some days fourteen hours, so he
would leave at one when get hometo like one or two. So when
I was watching your Live one ofthose nights, that was a night that
being locked down. Yeah, thatI was like overwhelmed emotionally because I'm used
to getting out. I was usedto my husband being home at a certain

(12:22):
time or being around him at acertain time. Then his time coming home
had moved back like hours later.He had to leave hours early. So
the only time we had is whenhe came in and he made time for
me. Thank you, babe forthat sacrifice, and then the time he
had before he went to work.So it was one of those days where
I was like really like down,but I promise you, baby, he

(12:43):
kept wine, So I kept Ihad some wine and I put that YouTube
on in that room. Baby,I was getting down. So that's why
I say she's international, y'all becauseit has reached more households in more than
America. I'm sure it's gone anywhere. So listen, I want you to
give us just a little bit ofyour beginnings. You don't have to go
deep deep, but I'm one ofthe main questions is when did you know

(13:07):
that you can sing? How didyou know? Not only that this is
your passion, because I feel likeit's your passion if it's not correct to
me, but I do feel likeit's a calling. And I say it's
a calling because it's in you andnot on you. And when something is
in you and not on you,that's an anointing to me. And we
only get our anoint team from JesusChrist. So listen. It ain't no
denying what you got going on sinceBut when did it start? And when

(13:28):
did you know that this is?This is why I'm here. So of
course I've been singing literally since Iwas two years old. I recorded my
first album when I was three yearsold, so my daddy had me singing
on top of countertops and stools sinceI was a little girl. But I
think it really clicked for me whenI got into junior high high school.

(13:50):
I was a tomboy, so Iwasn't really the popular girl, but I
was singing at everything. I wassinging at the national anthem for the basketball
games anyway. But it really clickedfor me. Then when I started doing
like plays at a young age.My mom would put me in pageants and
I would just be before the churchjust doing things that grown ups were doing.

(14:13):
And I was a young girl.I wasn't spending the night at kids
house. I didn't get to dothe fun things when I was little.
I was singing like literally, andso it started clicking for me. Then.
I'm gonna tell you when when adultsstarted disliking me, that's when God
put it in me that it's somethingin you did because they ain't just not
liking on any any and everybody.It's got to be something inside of you

(14:39):
that's telling them, you know whatshe got there, you know. And
I was a young girl adults,so that's what literally let me know that,
Okay, you got something. Sothe more and more I kept going,
I kept doing, and of courseGod started showing me different things in
different visions, and he started justputting me in different rooms with different people
that I did not expect to bein I just kind of figure, Okay,

(15:01):
God, this is what you wantme to do. This is my
purpose, this is what I'm stuckwith it because I didn't try to throw
it back several times, like I'mgoing to school, I'm gonna be a
nurse because that's what I really wantedto be growing up as a kid.
But God said, no, Mmm, you ain't gonna be up in there
singing in them people house that far. Baby. And when he tell us
no, you gotta be obedient becauseif you don't, baby, the chestising

(15:24):
that's gonna come with it. Baby, you ain't gonna be ready for it.
And he's going to do that untilyou do or get on the path,
and he's trying to get you on. So listen, you said your
daddy had you singing. Can youjust give the people just a quick snippet
of your father? Now, yourdad and the lakes. They all lived
up the street from my grandmother.So your daddy and my mother were really

(15:46):
cool. Your uncle, Norris wasmy mother's twin brother, best friend.
Like Norris would come get my uncle. They would go fishing. They did
a lot. My uncle died atforty four and twenty and forty died of
natural causes. That was when mymama twin just went to sleep and just
didn't get back up, perfectly healthy. But your dad, Norris and my
uncle were adope, and then misterDanny and then Veronica, your in.

(16:08):
She worked at my elementary school andI used to do like talent shows at
school and stuff, and she usedto kind of like push me, you
know, to do it, likeget up there and sing, do all
that. It's such a small it'sa small world. So so your family
and my family go way. Yeah, but tell us just a little bit
about your daddy, because your daddyis well, he's internationally known as well.

(16:29):
He's known as being the Maestro.And you know when you the maestro
music, that mean you got itall. The writing, the hearing,
the singing, the playing, yougot it all. So just give us
just a little bit about your daddyand then we'll move on. My dad
was just all around everything. That'swhy the name Maestro was given to him.
I don't even know how he gotthe name. He may have given
it to himself. And I loveit about my dad. My dad didn't
wait on the boy, throw himno show. And that's where I got

(16:52):
it from. Yeah, but mydad was a musician. He was a
singer, songwriter, musician. Heplayed every instrument. I think my dad
played like twenty some instruments. Hewas a music teacher. He did recitals
for his students, he played ingroups, he played for everybody. My
daddy, he was just that guy. But he rest in peace to my

(17:14):
dad. He was my music teacher. I did go to Philanda for a
little bit, but I always tellpeople I was in I can remember being
in the car my daddy would itwould be a song on the radio and
he'd be like sing the alto part, sing the sopranical and I think I
was like five or six years Oh, So my daddy was literally my teacher
from the time that I could justremember. But he was just an amazing
guy. He was a hard worker. Musicians these days could really learn from

(17:37):
my dad because my dad he wasof course, that was what he did,
you know, music was what hedid, but his passion because he
loved what he did. It wasn'tjust all about the check all the time.
And so I could just say thatmy daddy was the maestra. He
was that guy. Yeah, hereally was and shout out to the maestro
rest piece. We know he's inheaven playing in that band with my daddy

(18:00):
because my daddy was a great musiciantoo, And baby, they up there
having a time. So listen,being on this stage, we do not
know what life has dealt you thatday. Like you said earlier, baby,
life be life and right. Butwe could never tell because I feel
like every single performance you leave iton the floor. When I say you
leave a girl, I'd be lookinglike I don't know whether the crist shout,

(18:22):
walk off. I don't know whatthe hell to do. I just
just be in awe every single time. Like there's never no inconsistency with dd
y'all. When I say she leavesit at the floor, it's almost like
she performs like it's her last time. What is your motivation and your inspiration
behind leaving it all at the floor. My motivation literally, and this is

(18:47):
gonna be repetitive through the entire conversation, but it's my parents. It's God
first, my parents, and thenmy kids. I did not have an
easy life. I tell this storyas much as I can. I can't
wait to write my book, y'all, stay tuned and we're getting it.
But I did not have easy life. My mother she worked two or three
jobs, bless her heart. Mydad was a musician, so we were

(19:10):
always just on the move. Ididn't get to have that kid life.
I think that's why I play somuch now. I joke about that because
maybe I missed all that growing up. But I just feel like, you
know, life is meant to live, and because I experienced a lot of
hardships growing up, I did notget the basic things that I needed when
I was a kid. So Iwent through a lot. But I always

(19:33):
tell people, I tell my kids, you know, I think God had
me go down this road for areason, because he knew that I was
going to have a platform that Ineeded to share with somebody else about these
hardships and trials. And so myupbringing was rough. I struggled, I've
been homeless, anything you can name, I've been through it. And that's

(19:55):
why I always tell people, pleasedon't don't judge people off of their past,
what you think you've heard or whatyou think you know, because people
literally have been down and through thereand they're just trying to make it,
you know what I mean. Sothat's that's my I forgot the question girl.
The inspiration you said, you said, God yours and you explain why

(20:15):
because I can talk to But yeah, so you have to give me a
line now. You know, thoseare my main inspirations. And I feel
like since my parents are in heavennow, I have a duty to carry
out what my mom and dad want. Yeah, yeah, definitely carry out
their legacy because you're making them proud. And they don't want to be back
here because the time that they're having. But if they were here, I'm

(20:37):
sure that they would be extremely proud. And you're not talking too much since
I told you you're blessing somebody becauseit's somebody out here with the story,
but they're probably scared to tell theirstory. And I say that all the
time. We have these huge platformsand we're so quick to share the glitz
and the glamour, but when itcomes down to the bed and the ugly,
you know, we don't want toshare. But anyway, one of

(20:59):
my favorite is what God has forme, baby, it is for me.
Listen. So and everything in lifestill is when I say I try
to be content, I try tobe content. I don't compete with nobody.
I don't listen I had. Ilearned that. When I first started
building my house, somebody was like, well, why don't you you have
enough? Literally a person told meyou probably could get approved for more so
that you can get a bigger Nah. Baby, I'm good where you know.

(21:22):
I'm good with what I have becauseI never had a house, you
know what I'm saying. So Iwas just happy with going through the process.
But I don't know what the moremoney I would have got, the
more problems I would have had ifI would have gotten a bigger or listening,
you know what I'm saying, orwith my little car. I'm happy
with my little car, like I'mappreciative. I said that to say earlier,
I said that you were internationally owned, and you are right with Little

(21:47):
Rock being so small. And whenI say small, we are live music,
but I don't feel like we're asbig or as huge in the live
music scene as like Houston, Atlanta, Chicago, those type of places.
And I said you was the queenof live music earlier in the city Little
I can. I meant that Imean no punitent, no disrespect or no

(22:07):
offense to anyone. That's my opinion. I feel like she's the queen of
live music in this city. Butwith this city being a little smaller than
other cities and it's not competition,I don't I mean, let me,
lord, heck, can I saythis without saying it? Because I didn't
even worry. I didn't even mynotes, not even wear it right,
so I already know. Anyway,I'm just gonna see to say it.

(22:30):
Do you feel like that people arecompetitive or try to compete with you?
And if you feel like that,like, how do it make you feel?
Or is it something that you justblock out? Because I feel like,
like I said earlier, there's acouple of seachers, you know what
I'm saying, And that's with alldue respect, it's no offense to anyone.
But with this being a smaller city, everybody trying to get it,

(22:52):
everybody trying to be here, everybodywant to be booked and busy. But
being the chosen one, sometimes youcan be looked at like who tells she
kissing or who she doing it toto get these all work? What am
I talking to? And what amI now? You talking? Right?
Okay, well break that down forus. It's because I want to know
like in this lane, is thatmotivation for you to go harder? Or

(23:12):
are you really like, I mean, it's in me. It's not only
I can't help that. God hasgiving me this light and platform and opportunities.
And baby, she just said it. Okay, what she said.
It's and it's sometimes you know,I go into my little place, my
little home is my little rest andspot where I just get my thoughts together.

(23:33):
But it's very tough. It doesn'talways come from the ladies. It
comes from me, and it comesit comes all around, honey. It's
a sense of like you said,who does she think she is? And
why is she getting out of attention? And why they put on the shows?
And and my thing is I've alwaysbeen one to if somebody is going

(23:56):
harder than me, then that meansI ain't going hard enough. That part.
It ain't that I'm trying to competewith you. I'm trying to.
Really I'm inspired, like, dang, she doing it, She doing that.
They let me get over here andget on my my whatever and do
what I need to do. Buteverybody's mindset is not like, yeah,
everybody is not happy for you.Everybody is not going to support you.
I get the less support from mypeers than I do from people and this

(24:23):
stuff. That's I'm so glad yougot me here today because this is another
thing that's going to cause me toget a lot of backlash. But it's
good because it's my journey, mystory and your emotion and nobody, like
you said, your opinion. Everybodydon't like D. D. Jones think
that I'm their favorite. So it'sa handful of people that do. And
that's okay. Everybody don't like Beyonce, but look at me, you know,

(24:47):
so you got to grow with thepunches and just keep going. So
that's that's my fuel. I haveto understand. And I always reference Beyonce
when somebody's talking to me. I'mnowhere near her. I don't even have
a single out yet, but Ireference her because she's on her grind.
She does not stop to bark ateverything that tries to bark gap and look
at her success, and her successtells the story for her. She don't

(25:11):
have to say anything. So that'swhat I try to do. I used
to bleed a lot on social media. I used to if I thought it
and somebody got on my nerves.I'm typing it on social media, and
one of my friends said, didyou can't bleed on the people that love
you we support you, don't Wedon't know what's going on. We don't
know why such and such was lovingon you one minute and they hated you.
And I get it, but yougot to be strategic and smart about

(25:34):
how you share everything you can.You can share your journey, but just
be strategical. Yes, there area group of people who really do love
and support you. Yeah. So, yeah, I use it as motivation.
Now. I've grown a lot inmy career and I understand that some
people are just stuck where they andthey not gonna grow, and so you

(25:56):
just have to keep on pushing.Yeah, just keep on. And you
said a lot when you said bestrategic with what you posting, how you
share, because we've talked about it, We're gonna talk about it more.
And how transparent you are with yourjourney. You share us the ups and
down, Toney. I didn't seenyou so many times on their live cry
Honey, I have to make sureI open a live to make sure it's
a testimony of Criy. Do I'mfinish shout with you real quick? Or

(26:18):
do I need to drop what I'mdoing and say this prayer. Like literally,
I'm one of the ones that's gonnaopen the lives so that I can
see where the tears are coming from. Because I'm gonna beat, I'm gonna
shout with you, or I'm gonnasay a prayer with you. But to
be honest, I just feel likeI do feel like you don't get the
support and stuff that you should get, but I don't. Of course,

(26:38):
who am I to worry about itor care about it? But I'm really
not worried about it because I feellike that God is just gonna keep elevating,
you know what I'm saying. AndI see the elevation, and I'm
just like, do you God likeyou deserve it? Because like Beyon say,
you're not barking and you have everyright to you know what I'm saying,
You have every single right too,but you don't do that and I

(27:00):
love that about you. But howare you blocking it? What are you
doing emotionally and mentally to block outthe hate? Because d D, the
hate can be heavy. It canbe so heavy to where you have to
you wont to just go in andgo off. And sometimes the hate can
make you lose everything you got goingto your mental How are you what are

(27:21):
you doing to protect that? OohLord? And I'm not perfect, y'all.
I promise you I'm not perfect.But baby, when I tell you
I pray, I know, Godgets sick of me. Cause, Sony,
I pray so much, and Italk to guy like we talking right
down. I'd be like, God, listen, yeah, now me on
a straight narrow Now you got tohelp, you know what I mean.

(27:42):
So I literally I pray. Itry to just get to myself. I
used to talk about it to youknow, I only haven't. I don't
have a lot of friends because it'shard when you're trying to do what I
do and have friends at the sametime. The friends that mean well,
that mean well because everybody don't getit. Everybody just don't get it,
and so it's that's that does notmake them bad people. They just don't

(28:06):
understand my journey. And that's okaybecause it's my journey. So if I
have to leave some people along theway, I'll catch it with you when
I get up there, you know. But that's literally I literally get somebody
else to do it. Yeah,that's that's the only thing honestly that I
do. I write a lot,I journal a lot. I don't Yeah,

(28:30):
I don't talk. I don't talkbecause if I talk about it too
much, then I'm gonna try.Everybody's response they give me is not wise.
And so I have to remember thatyou gotta be wise because if I
get into it with somebody right nowon Facebook, they're gonna be like D
D. Jones, that's always seeit. Who yeah, well, Who're
not knocking nobody else, but that'sgonna be the topic. And so yeah,

(28:52):
I just I try to pray thatyeah, yeah, And that's the
best thing to do, because likeyou said, everybody's opinion is not why
and then people want to see that. They won't they want to and it's
so sad. It's so sad.And then you said something like you're talking
to different people and then it bethose ones that you think a supposed to
give you sound advice. Let mego tell her to do this so she
can so she can look bad.Everybody think. You know when I say

(29:17):
one of one thing I say allthe time, and I tell my cousin,
I tell jade Is, I tellpeople that I know that God has
his hands on that people hearts outhere are really really left up. It's
some they hearts are messed up.Snoop Dogg made a post about four or
five years ago and I still gotit in my phone and I shared it
every now and then. He waslike, if y'all clean olds reggedy a
hearts, then maybe you will startseeing the blessings that God really has for

(29:41):
you because people hearts are jacked up. When I say, people don't be
wanting to see people happy. Theydon't like to see good things happen to
people, Like why the hell not? Like I feel like, if God
can do it for you, baby, he has to be next door,
like he in my neighborhood. Youknow what I'm saying, are not genuine
anymore? And this is what hasbeen. It ain't shocking no more.
I'm wilder. But it's the onesthat you would have never thought. I

(30:03):
never thought, like, that's clappingtheir hands for you on your face,
but behind your back, baby,they hiding themselves. Oh my goodness,
I've never seen such jealousy and envyin my life. And I'm like,
God, you And that's another reasonwhy I can tell I can see the
elevation. Sometimes I used to belike, Okay, I did a show,
it was good, I sold itout. But now I've gotten to
a point where I actually see Goddoing this for me because of all of

(30:26):
the hell that I've been experiencing frompeople that I just did not expect.
So it's just really eye opening andhe wants you to see it too.
That's why He's gonna keep letting yougo through this hell with people. You
know what I'm saying. And themore hell you go through, the lighter
it's gonna be. Whatever it ishe wants you to see, it's gonna
be very very clear. Okay,So now we're finna get just a little

(30:48):
bit personal. Now listen, youare a single mom. Okay, so
you're a single mom. You havethree handsome young adult males. So I
said two things that'll just take anyperson out. Single mom for one.
Why said three? Actually single momfor one, three children for one,

(31:10):
three black males. Okay, Solisten, being a single mom trying to
raise productive citizens black men in thisworld by yourself, no help you,
Jesus and Jesus, listen, Iknow that has to be challenging. It
must have been challenging, emotionally,spiritually, financially, just in the state

(31:32):
of the world that we're in now. Like I know, it's been rough.
What has been your motivation with raisingthese boys? Because my husband say
all the time, no woman canraise black men, And he said that
on an episode because his mother wasa single mom of three boys. He
was the baby boy. Literally allof them had different fathers. Truth be

(31:55):
told, no, no them wasthere the middle father, my husband said,
was there until he died. Hedied young. But he said his
middle brother who's in heaven now,daddy was always there for them. But
that was all that they saw.Everything else the streets taught them, or
as my husband say, crooks they'vetaught them. But like, how how
are you doing it? And youryoungest is what tum seventeen? So from

(32:16):
seventeen on up? Like how seventeenon up, I can honestly say that
it's so much better than what itwas. So we won't even since you
said seventeen on up, I'm gonnastick there because seventeen on that baby New
Years right there took me through it. But it's been it's definitely been a
struggle, and it's it's so hard. That's where a lot of my anxiety

(32:38):
comes from, worrying about my boys. Because DeAndre now he is d jaying
and so he's out late at nightand he at the spots where you know,
everybody be at, and so I'mworried. I don't go to sleep
until he get in the house.Kaitlin is so much better. He's he's
a homebody, but he does goout sometimes. So that's my main thing,

(32:59):
just worry I have to worry about, you know, not just the
police, but you know, thestreets and just stray bullets and you know,
you can stop at a gas stationnow and folks are just cutting up
in the walmart. But and thenmy youngest baby, he's in school,
so every morning I'm worried, likeLord, protect him. You know,
they shoot up school. It's somuch happening. And with these boys being

(33:22):
black, that just puts the cakeon it for me. But it's it's
it's it's a task and doing italong. It's even rough. It's rough.
It's rough. I can't lie aboutthat subject. It's very rough.
I don't have a male figure,and I'm very very strategic. That may
not be the word. I'm verymeticulous. Yeah, that's the word on

(33:45):
who I bring around my boys,because they mean when it comes to me
trying to date, that's why Icome. I'm single right now. I'm
working on it, but they youknow, but I just I haven't had
anybody like that their face. AndI thank God for that, just not
bringing me and in and out thehouse, but just trying to deal with,

(34:06):
you know, them growing up tobe successful me and I try to
preach that to them as much asI can. It's just it's it's difficult.
But with the help of God,that's what's keeping me and raising these
boys. My I can thankfully saythat they have not been in any major
trouble, no jails, none ofthat. My middle son, I mean,

(34:29):
my youngest son, he's a booksmart. So I just I'm blessed.
I will say I'm blessed, don'tI No, i'mally gonna tap all,
but I am blessed to have somegood guys. And they've done,
you know, some things. ButI'm pretty much blessed. And that's good.
Yeah, because we can take minorthings we did, minor things,

(34:50):
we did, little stuff. Youknow what I'm saying that the Lord spared
us from and kept our appearents like, Okay, she ain't they ain't this,
you know? So we did andI asked that because I'm gonna ask
the follow up question. I wasa single mother for about eleven years.
My husband and I have been togetherfour years and change, married three for
been together four years and change.But I was a single mother. Her

(35:12):
dad and family lives in Nashville,Tennessee. That's where she was born conceived
when I lived there, and she'sbeen there many of times. And now
she has the autonomy to decide whenand where she want to go. And
I'm you good, you're sixteen,you can do that now. When she
was little, I made her youknow, you gotta go spend time with
your people for breaks, summer breaks, spring breaks, all of that.
But I was very resentful for along time, and I had to do

(35:37):
a lot of praying and healing,and therapy helped me with that because I
feel like when you bring a childin this world, if you're not prepared,
that's the time to get prepared,right If you're not married or it's
not planned, then you got todrop everything and do what you're supposed to
do. But unfortunately, I wasn'tin a situation to where that was with

(35:57):
both sides, but it was meand I was blessed with the village,
So I definitely thank God. Idon't take none of that for granted,
but I know that, you know, your village was kind of you know,
they your mom and daddy went toGlory a lot earlier, so you
had to do a lot by yourself, just emotionally, Like, do you
have any resentment for that? Orcan you say You're to the point to

(36:19):
where you've just let God do whathe do and it is what it is.
Yeah, I still have some resentment. I'm praying on that only because
I used to. I tell mykids, like, I hate that yiad
didn't get a chance to experience likefamily like I did when I was growing
up. I was around my cousinsall the time and wasn't no friends,
so they didn't get to do that. And so yeah, I have some
resentment on you know, the waythings happened with me when I was younger.

(36:43):
But I can thankfully say that mykids understand, they've seen. I'm
thankful that God allowed them to getold enough to see what it really was.
And so now I don't have togo back and say this that.
And the third they actually knew,like, Okay, this is my mama.
She wasn't you know? And youknow, talk down on people.
I just let them see what itwas. And baby, it's the cars

(37:05):
that you were dealt and God,if he dealt you them cars, and
if it happened the way it happened. Sometimes we make our own mistakes,
you know what I mean? AndGod will still because his grace is so
sufficient, He'll still come on sufficientand make our paths the way he need
them to go. And so I'mglad that my kids they may not have
the village because they don't have it, but they have me. And baby,

(37:29):
when I tell you, I'm superwomanto my boy and they grown grown,
but it's just in me because Iknow what they don't have, and
so I'm their protector. Yeah,I just have to be. And you
said something, girl, when yousaid you you don't talk bad. You
let him see. That's always beenme. When I say my right hand
to God, I never I neversaid anything, and I asked God to

(37:50):
do. My mother actually taught methat when my baby was like months old
too, and I used to singto a read tour, and my mama
said, don't ever, don't instialnothing negative to her, don't talk to
her about I know the Lord willshow her. She'll learn. And my
kid is very mature for her age. And I promise you when I say
she got old enough to learn,and when she got old enough to learn
and to see, that's when Igave her the autonomy to make the choices.

(38:13):
Do you want to go now?I'm good like with you. No,
I'm straight. You know what I'msaying. You ain't gotta do that.
And that's for all of the singlemamas. You don't have to talk
bad. You don't have to putnothing negative in your baby's Mine ears another
day, because I promise you,if you're doing what you're supposed to do,
God is gonna show them the rest, baby. And when he showed
them, that's gonna make them appreciateyou even more, and that's gonna teach

(38:36):
them actually what not to do.My husband is like that now, he's
like, didn nobody have to tellme nothing. I saw how it was
with my and his daddy when nottaking nothing from a mad Racing PC page,
how sporty did whatever. But theynever had a relationship. But my
husband said, yeah, money ain'tnothing like I needed your time, I
needed your energy, I needed yourspace. But when I had my kids,
when I had my daughter, likeI knew, I don't want to

(38:58):
do none of that. I needmy to see me, be with me.
And he did that. And that'swhat you have to do. Sometimes
we have to break that generate thatbarrier, whatever it is. If you
saw something that wasn't white, dothe opposite. You know what I'm saying,
because the opposite is probably gonna bemore positive. And that's that's gonna
bring you joy and peace. Absolutely, Sha And you got three handsome boys

(39:22):
too. And I'm sensitive when itcomes to black boys. And like I'm
just sensitive. My family can tellyou that. You know, I'm an
educator. I'm middle school now.I love my girls, but I know
I can kind of model and bethat for my girls. When my boys,
though I'm like tough on them,I'm like, no, you you
go get your grades and you comein my class during lunch, I go

(39:44):
get you a little fox for foeand you about to make this work up
because you're not finna fail middle school. So I appreciate that and I appreciate
what you are doing and what youhave instilled in these young men because the
way that they are just project theenergy that they protect, the respect that
yes men like I don't seen yourboys a few times and I'm like,
hey, these sunday I don't evenknow, yes, ma'am. You know

(40:05):
what I'm saying, Like a blackyoung man saying young yes, ma'am or
speaking or looking in your face likethat does something for me. So I
want to give you your flowers fordoing what you do as a black woman,
as a black single woman, asa black single woman raising three black
males in this society. So keepgoing, and I promise you they gonna
make you proud, and they gonnagive you a lot of money. They're

(40:29):
gonna take care of you. Soyou're gonna be singing. Yeah, you're
gonna be singing when you want tosing. Now, you're gonna be.
You gonna forever sing because you lovesinging. But they gonna be like,
I'm gonna sit down, You ain'tgotta go tonight. How much they pin
you, they're gonna double that,you know what I'm saying. So for
real, it's going to happen becauseof what you've done and what you've instilled
in then by yourself, God gonnareward you. He has to like we

(40:50):
taking him at his word, andyou gotta do this for me, sir,
like I was the last full alittle while now, I'm gonna need
you to make me the first.You said the last, Yea'll be the
first. So I meet you donehead. I need you to get get
that first up there. Now,I was twenty one. I need to
be eighteen now because my son finto be eighteen and I need to be
one when he know. Anyway,that's so listen. Let me ask another

(41:12):
question. What's your day in life? Like you single? Is you do
you have friends? Multiple friends?If you single? I hope you say
you got multiple friends? You knowwhat? Oh here we go. I
am single, capital out like no, because I know the entertainment. You
got plenty of entertainment and DMS andn by test they come like waterflow.

(41:38):
I mean, I don't get it. And here's a couple of men have
told me that they are intimidated byme because of what I do. They
feel like I got so many groupies. I got so many men, and
do you know I really don't justbeing transparent. I was very much so
in love with my best friend.Lord help us, and then you know,

(41:59):
Lord help me. I just Ilove really hard and so I don't
play a lot of games. Andso if you're not your mind focused is
just off, then I just moveon and I just, you know,
go on by my business. ButI'm a big single. So if you're
out there listening, what's your list? What's your list? Look like?
I don't just love God, loveme, my kids, work. You

(42:24):
said work? Since yeah, soher listen is your listen? Not even
at It's not even I love God, love kids, love me and work.
Oh that ain't bad, So yougot to Yeah, so you'll go
to the cheesecake factory and blackle Barand Apple Bee. You can go to

(42:45):
McDonald's and get a bigger bead.I said that on the last episode with
my husband. It is not theplace is who you w like? We
can go? And I said that, I said, well, we can
go to Taco bell I love mesome tacos. We can go to Taco
bell I can sneak a little winein my bag and a water bottle and
we can sit in there and actlike we at mister chowels or the rest

(43:06):
of the big steak places. Soare you meticulous when it comes to that?
Cause that list and we're talking aboutthe list feelings, I'm talking about
that list that came out about amonth ago, two months but we don't
we have no idea baby, Andwhoever made the list, I promise they
weren't humble and probably couldn't afford togo none to place part because I'm like,
first of all, Cheesecake Factor gota five little men, you're going,
we don't even have one here thatpart And that's why I said,

(43:30):
I said, it wasn't nobody therebecause we don't have a cheesecake factory.
But they got a lighteluttle apple Bee's. I can gonna give me a good
little burger like what we're doing.I'm a picky eater. But as long
as I'm with the person that Iwant to be with, baby, we
can go to subway. I seeso again, men, I just I
reverted back to that the list don'tmatter. It's all about the woman.

(43:51):
If you if the woman wants tobe with you baby, Like Young Miami
said, damn, we go tothe pot. You know her little accent
say, we go to the pot. We got to the pot. I
get got damn it got to thepot. I love Kartia, but listen,
so your single single don'll be comingto her any kind of way,
Like this is not a dang showand I'm not missus match maker, but
don't say that you heard her ona spiel podcast and you raggedy. We

(44:15):
not doing raggedy. I'm like SarahJakes were not doing reggy. It's we
too old for that. Okay,So listen. The people are peopling,
braid and quick to form and opinionright about stuff that they've heard about,
stuff that they think that they seenfrom somebody. Just just crazy crazy stuff

(44:37):
right. Social To me, socialmedia has made it hard for people to
just be themselves period, be itdating or just being yourself. Somebody said
you post too much always I am, and I don't care because it's my
social media. I can post whatI want to post. And like I
said, I had social media whenyou only had to have a college email

(45:00):
to get on that. So ifif you back in the day didn't have
if they wouldn't then change the waythat they did you when they ain't baby
to see my posts. But Isaid that to say, what is something
that you can tell the people aboutd D that social media doesn't know?
And I was so excited I asked, I put this question down and asked
it because I was watching Open Thoughtswith Funny Marco and he interviewed Chris Brown.

(45:23):
I love podcast. Girl, whenI say, I barely listen to
the me That's why I'm be knowingthem songs. Lord, I'm fine,
I'm finna get my music on thosefor real. But I was watching his
interview with Chris Brown Kevin Heart everybody. He always asked them, tell the
world something that they don't know aboutyou, and Chris Brown, of course
didn't say nothing because he was like, I'm trying to get out this interview,
but is there something that the peoplethat you want the people to know

(45:46):
that not even nothing personal or businesswise, but just something about your personality,
your heart that people really don't seebecause they too caught up in what
they heard that I really would lookpeople. I am the and I say
this in the most humble way,but I am literally the most lovable person

(46:07):
ever. Like I would give youright now whatever you want it my purse,
Like I'm just yeah, you canhave my makeup. Yeah, that's
just my My heart is so big, and people give this perception of me
like she thinks she better than me. And I'm trying to figure out how

(46:29):
where's the money it's coming. I'mtrying to figure out where are you getting
this from it? Because and Itry to just search within myself all the
time to see if what these peopleare saying is really true. And I'm
like your head like Damne. Butyou know, the Bible tells us,
you know, creating me a cleanar. So I'm really you know,

(46:52):
trying to search deep like God,whatever it is taken out of me.
But I'm really like a really heartfelt person, like I love people,
especially after I lost my parents,Like I don't like to see people hurting.
Anything that I can do to justhelp people, that's just me.
I mean, if it wasn't forme making a living off of what I
do, I would probably sing forfree just because it's just my heart.

(47:15):
But people they give this opinion ofme. I don't even know what they
say because they don't come to meand say it. Don't try. You
know, I'm a good girl.But Grandma Listen messed up, so she
took a gun in the churches thatmess with my daughter. Good part.
But yeah, I'm really a coolgirl. I love to have fun.

(47:37):
I have more male friends than Ido girls just because I like to keep
it and have a good time.I don't do all their drama. You
know what I'm saying. That's whywe relate because I'm the exact same way
I have. Yeah, I havea lot. I have a lot of
female acquaintances. I have a handfulthat I can really call friends and I
can call them out right now thatI call my friends that I know if

(47:59):
something goes on, I know Ican call them. I know that not
running around. But for the mostpart, my squad, my crowd is
like dudes. Like when I sayI'm with the dudes, because I'm like
that. I don't like no drama. I just love to have fun.
I'm big on energy and if yourenergy ain't right, And that's why,
Like one of my friends did tellme, she was like, tell you
you hold grudges And I was likeoh, and she was like yeah,

(48:20):
and I was like, I don'tthink I hold grudges. I just feel
like once I learned, I moveon. And And when you said a
few minutes ago, creating me aclean heart. I pray that prayer every
single day. I promise you that'ssomething I pray every day. And with
me praying it, I'm like you, I'm always searching within myself and I
feel like sometimes I kind of overcompensateto be nice or be kind or you

(48:42):
know what I'm saying. I don'tlike that either. I be like,
now, look, I want toclean heart, But hell, why I
gotta always speak all the time.I mean, I had an issue Saturday
at an event. You're not gonnaspeak to such and such, such and
such that speak to me. Ispeak all the time. Well, I
gotta always be there and they knowthis. I feel like such and such

(49:04):
as gotten to the point to where, yeah, that she gonna come speak
to me. So I ain't gonnaThat's sick of that is right now with
me, right now. I justtold my lavel the other day, I
said, God must have something onme to where I have to be the
person that always reconcile the issue orcome back and say, well, I
know we're not talking and I knowI didn't do nothing, But why am
I having to have this conversation withI didn't do nothing to you. And

(49:28):
here's the thing what I want peopleto get, and I want you to
hear this. If you have somebodyin your life and you call them your
friend, they're relative, or whoeveryou deem close to, you don't go
talk to them. Don't leave thatopen space to where you trying to wait
on them to say. If I'myour friend, I want to tell you
to your listen, I didn't likewhat you did to me last week.

(49:49):
You embarrassed me. I should havethat relationship with you to talk about that,
but no, we let stuff lingeron and then for a long time
she ain't in front with me.No, you just didn't want to come
talk to me. But what ifyou you just don't want to come talk
to you because to me, becauseof your own whatever you got going on.
Because I ain't never did nothing toyou, You can't say that I
embarrassed you. You can't say Idid this exactly. You just don't want
to close or open up that doorbecause it's okay. Yeah, and you

(50:13):
got them people too, and youjust lead them where they are because at
this point, well I'm not goingto be stuck there all the rest of
my life. I can't life is. And I say all the time we
are on borrow time. Well,I'm not gonna keep explaining myself to you.
I'm not gonna keep explaining you.You say you felt this way.
I didn't know that you felt thisway because you didn't say that you felt
this way, but you projected thatyou felt that way, and so I
moved accordingly. I'm not gonna beexplaining why I moved like I moved because

(50:37):
of whatever. And it is whatit is. If you don't feel like
it's important to explain it or toto, you know, make the relationship
better, Hey, it is whatit is. I just and that's for
anybody I say all the time.Ain't nobody exempt like listen, I it
just is what it is. Lifeis too short. Well listen, d
D. I have really enjoyed you. This has been so good and you.

(51:00):
I'm super excited about this episode becauseI know it's gonna bless so many
people. It's going to make peoplelearn more about you. I know it's
going to increase your following and yoursupport, and the people are really going
to get to know your heart.That's why because I literally prayed for probably
about three or four weeks and Iwas like, okay, Lord, getting

(51:21):
down to my roster Girard, Igot my pastel coming on so so and
my cole teachers, and I waslike, I want one more person,
and I want d D but Iwant her to really show that vulnerable side.
And then I was like, youknow what she deserves to show that.
You know what I'm saying, becauseyou show so much on social media.
You show the good, the bad, the ugly, and I can't

(51:43):
say enough like I'll be having openingthem lives, Like okay, Lord,
what we're doing today, we shallknow. We're praying like where we're at,
and that inspires and blesses people somuch what you are doing this,
you better keep going. When Isay you got my support, TENA,
that man in that room in there, that husband, if he didn't get
out of work, I promise youhe'll tell you. Like the week I

(52:04):
was supposed to go see you atthe park, it was supposed to be
me and seven of my family members. My cousin was killed literally four days
before, and I still was like, we're going, y'all, we going.
We gotta celebrate booboo because this iswhat he would want. Were going,
and they were like, nah,I ain't gonna be able to do
it. You know that was theonly reason. But when I see your
name on the marquis, especially ifit's on a Friday or Saturday, maybe

(52:25):
I'm I'm knocking, I'm coming,And I'm not the type of person that's
gonna say, hey, can Iget in free King and I name Now,
I'm supporting one million percent. Youcan't, but you okay, that's
it. That's it. I'm supportingone million percent and I'm a tip when
I can, Like, that's justwhat I want to do to people that

(52:45):
I support and people that I know, you know what I'm saying, doing
with their heart desires and God ismaking room for you know what I'm saying,
So you keep doing that. Sis. I told you how she bookeding
busy shits, gat something to doin a minute, and I'm excited.
I ain't gonna be able to go, but I'm able to see the little
footage she pos me. I'm sayingso thank you, so very much.
It means me seriously. I believedin you from day one and I can't

(53:08):
wait to see this big I can'twait to see you Essence Festival. I
can't wait I can't why you areso articulate. You are just everything,
so I can't wait. I receiveit. Thank you so much. I
have let you all right, Andthat's a wrap up, Miss Diddy Jones.
Hey, y'all, make sure y'allfollow her and support her. Oh
I forgot to say, because Itold the Vibe Brothers I was gonna bring

(53:31):
it up Hamilton's, y'all December fifteen. She booked a musics. She don't
even no date, and we justhappy. I'm just happy. And then
right after that, my big showis at the y'all better come, I
meanogy. I was talking to acouple of my my angel friends, my
good girlfriends, church members, andI'm like, look, they don't drink

(53:52):
like I like to have a littlecocktail of two maybe three. You know,
you know that's me. But anyway, I was talking to my good
good girlfriends and I said, listen, that's right before we go back to
work. We ain't really got toworry about all this New Year's Eve stuff
because it is and I you know, we can shoot in the backyard.
But a couple of days before theshooting, we're gonna be at the Red

(54:14):
Room, y'all. So I'm superexcited. Thank you again, DD you
so much. Right, Spillers,I hope you enjoyed that episode because I
have. This is our skill encouragementtime, Spillers, we are in a
season where, like d D saidearlier, life is lifing and it's really
really heavy on a lot of people. So let's be that merry and bright

(54:37):
light that someone may need today,whether it's through being a blessing, a
financial blessing, a spiritual blessing,emotional blessing, a prayer, a smile,
a hug, even if you're ina season that you're going through,
be intentional about blessing someone else andwatch how God makes you feel, Watch

(54:58):
the joy, the he's and theblessings that He returns to you. God's
desire, Spillers, is for usto be kind to one another at all
times. In fact, in Colossiansthree and twelve, around verse twelve,
that's what my Masses says. Aroundverse twelve, it tells us to clothe
ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I understand

(55:22):
that that could be very challenging attimes. I know, please believe,
I know, but obedience is betterthan sacrifice. How are your clothes spiller
Spillers, are you clothing yourselves inkindness and compassion, in humility, in
gentleness and patience. If you're not, try doing it and watch God work.

(55:45):
I appreciate you all so much fortuning into the Spill podcast. Thank
you for your support, thank youfor following, thank you for sharing,
and just thank you for the love. This is your girl, missus.
Will then and until next time,feelers, I am signing out. M.