EPISODE 28- YALL ALRIGHT?

Whew chile!!!! An ENTIYAH MENTAL CHECK IN EPISODE! The people peopling, life lifing, but God is GODDING and I want to make sure my SPILLERS ARE GOOD! YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS GOOD SPILL! TAP IN! -Mrs. Wilson 

Episode Transcript

(00:26):
Hey, world, Welcome back tothe spill Podcast, your favorite podcast featuring
your favorite podcast host, me yourgirl, Missus Wilson High Spillers, Welcome
back to episode twenty eight. Ithink this episode twenty eight, season two.

(00:46):
Look y'all, we listen. Ijust came off of an amazing lazy
break spring break. I did nothinking, no thoughting, no planning.
I did absolutely nothing. I puta dent and my mattress. My husband
told me we need to flip themattress. You tell them you got a
big old hole in the mattress.Whatever I did that, I did,

(01:07):
that was me. I did thatspring break. So I think it's episode
twenty eight from season two. Eitheror welcome back. Thank you all so
much for joining me back. Westill have to do our part two for
Kevin Zan. We're gonna do thata little bit later, but in the
meantime and in between time, y'allstuck with your girl. So I'm super

(01:34):
excited about this episode, as Iam every episode, but y'all know,
Spillers, every now and then Ihave to do a couple of single episodes
with just myself. I feel likeGod has given me a lot to share
and it's my duty to share it. And I've learned a lot, and
the things that I've learned, Iwant to pass on and share because I
know it could bless so many otherpeople as it has blessed me. So

(01:57):
I'm here to do that. Okay. And in this episode, Untie,
we're about to get down to thenitty gritty. We've about to talk about
some stuff. I've noticed some thingsbeen said and done lately, and I'm
just gonna speak on a little bitwith no judgment or none of that.
We just gonna talk about it,Spillers, right, because it's twenty twenty
four. It's time for us tostand ten toes down on ourselves. Were

(02:22):
letting people play with you? Okay, period, And if you're doing a
plan quurt playing so much, growup. But anyway, go ahead and
get your water, get your tea, get your coffee, get your wine,
get your martini, get your juice, get your pop. Get whatever
it is that you need so thatyou can sit back and get it in

(02:42):
the real spill with Missus Wilson.Get your notepad, notebook, get ready
to Paul stop so you can typesome stuff in your notes. To do
whatever is necessary. Because we've hadto get into it. Okay, But
before we move any further, Spillers, you know what time it is.
It is our mental check in time. This is the time of the episode
where we do a self mental check, and doing so, we are intentional

(03:05):
about connecting with ourselves and making asound decision at that moment about the state
of our mental health. That's somethingthat I put issues and emphasis on so
much. We're in a time towhere we really need to take advantage of
that focus and really dig deep withinourselves so that we can start projecting joy

(03:25):
and peace. And this is thetime for you to do it. So
spillers, stop pause for the cause, fat Brewine, and then press play.
When you finish whatever it is thatyou need to do, do so
and do your mental chicken. Okay, that's important. As for me,
all is well, hallelujah, Thankyou Jesus. I'm looking forward to even

(03:47):
more better days in the future.Remember the last couple episodes, I was
telling y'all that I feel like Godhas been He has me in this season
where we're dealing with people, I'mdealing with accept different emotions and responses.
And when I say accepting, it'sbecause those were projected onto me. And

(04:08):
so because I cannot control what's projected, I can control how I respond.
But God has just been showing medifferent things, putting me in different situations
with people, and it's just reallybeen It's that had had a toll on
you, girl. I'm talking aboutsince January. It had a toll on
you. And then I started myfast, baby, and it seems like
he was really doing some detox anddoing some detox and during that time where

(04:31):
I'm having to pray and be,you know, focusing on my fast and
making sure I'm spending the time withhim to get the clarity and you know,
the peace that I need. Well, I'm gonna correct myself because I
said he was dealing with people.I was in a season where I was
learning to deal with people. Ifeel like and from the clarity and discernment
I feel like the Holy Spirit hasgiven me. I feel like I've been

(04:54):
in a season y'all where God hasbeen dealing with me. Listen, listen,
I can't blame it. I'll meethim putting me in situations to where
I'm dealing with people and all ofthat good stuff. Now, Baby,
he has been dealing with moah withme, Okay. And when I say
dealing with me, I'm talking aboutstripping me of every single thought and emotion

(05:18):
that I thought I had, thatI thought that I knew about myself,
every response and reaction that I thoughtwas right or I thought was maybe the
right thing to do or the Jesusthing to do, or this is what
it is now. Baby. Hebeen dealing with me on a level that
has been very challenging, but it'sbeen enlightening, just clarification. It's just

(05:43):
been a mountain, and it's beena mountain that's been challenging to climb.
But I'm so grateful he's been withme to climb this mountain, y'all.
I'm talking about in my marriage,a mirror, looking at myself, looking
at the man in the mirror,which is my number one and most important
ministry right in my church, inmy parents and spillers, my family,

(06:08):
my friendships. When I say hehas been dealing with me, I have
been doing my reflection. I justfinished the fast. I'll talk about that
in a little bit, but I'vebeen doing my reflection and all of that
reflection, I've been put in situationsto where I feel like he wanted he
literally wanted me to put a mirrorup and instead of responding or reacting,
look at yourself. What part didyou play in this situation? What role

(06:30):
do you play? What did youdo right? And So during this time,
I'm learning to hold myself accountable,and y'all know, sometimes that can
be real challenging when it's time forus to look at the man in the
mirror and say, hey, Iat get it together. Stop, Nope,
that wasn't right, fix your heartlike that could be a little challenging
at time. Right, I'm learningto stop with the excuses, you know

(06:53):
what I'm saying, Like, ifsomeone says something, instead of responding with
an excuse or being pro active,instead of reacting, I'm learning to just
shut up, be quiet, bestill right, apologize when I'm wrong.
Babe, y'all that's hard. That'shard, but we know what happens with

(07:13):
pride destruction, you know what I'msaying. So I'm humbling myself to be
able to say, hey, yeah, you're right, I was wrong.
I'm sorry. I apologize. Yeah, doing that and it's something that I'm
not the most comfortable or excited aboutdoing. But I'm acknowledging that when I
know that I've wronged someone in asituation, it's my responsibility to hold myself

(07:36):
accountable and apologize something that I've donea lot lately that I don't feel like
I've been doing in the past.But he's really been stripping me of me
spillers, I'm learning. I'm awork in progress. I'm excited about this
new journey, journey with me,my mental, my emotional, my spiritual.

(07:57):
Even though I know it doesn't matterhow good I respond, how much
better of a person that I become, I'm still as a fealthy rag.
But I'm so grateful y'all that evenin this season where I feel like I've
had to press the most and thehardest, I'm grateful and I'm relieved that
God has never left me. Myhusband didn't give up on me, having

(08:18):
given up on me. He ain'tgonna give up on me, you know
better. My daughter, my parents, my siblings, my family, my
friends, nobody has given up onme. So I'm super duper grateful for
this season. I just finished myforty day fast of lent. That's something
that really doesn't happen in the BaptistI grew up a Baptist Christian, and

(08:39):
that's something that we've never partakeed orput emphasis on doing. I have done
a forty day fast before in thepast with my pastor, but there's been
a long time ago. In fact, before this fast, I had already
been praying about it and talking aboutit, probably around November December. So
the things that I was fasting before, I had started preparing myself for it

(09:01):
mentally by stripping myself of those things, you know, once a week,
then twice a week, then threetimes a week, then four days a
week, and by the time Lentstarted, which was February fourteenth, I
was completely done until after, youknow, my fortieth day, which yesterday,
Yeah, the thirtieth, the no, what's today? Okay, So

(09:22):
the fast was over on the twentyfourth, so twenty fifth. You know,
I'm able to do some things thatI pulled myself from that I denied
myself of. I hadn't jumped backin yet. I'm a little nervous,
but the fast was very successful.It's something that I just wanted to do
to help myself to grow more spiritually, to get clarity from things that I

(09:45):
needed and I wanted from God,it was very enlightening. It was refreshing,
Spillers. I learned so much.I'm so grateful and so glad I
did it. Look, if youfeel like you want to fast for something,
this is Holy Week. I feellike this is a very important and
time to do so, even withthe Muslims they're doing Ramadan, I feel
like this is just a really reallygood time to fast and sit and reflect

(10:07):
and pray, align your self,center yourself, get clarity from whatever it
is that you're needed from. Sothis is a good time to do it.
Don't let nobody tell y'all it's toolate. It's just Tuesday. You
know. Jesus he three days,he was on a cross, So if
you want to give him three days, give them three. But I did
forty. And let's not think thatour fast will ever compare to the sacrifice

(10:30):
that he made for us. That'sthe ultimate sacrifice. There's never any comparison.
And I know my little fast couldnever show him or prove to him
how grateful I really am, howthankful I am, how appreciative I am
because of his sacrifices and for hissacrifices. But it's just something that I
wanted to do Spillers to just lethim know. I'm grateful, I appreciate

(10:50):
you. Let me deny myself ofsome things that I really like. I
really appreciate that. I just reallycan't imagine going a long period of time
with doing or doing, so letme do that. And I just want
you to know this is something thatI'm doing, a sacrifice that I'm making
just so that you can know.It'll never be enough, but it was

(11:11):
just a sacrifice I made. Sohey, if that's something y'all want to
do, Spillers, do it.It ain't too late. Ain't i' wrong
with Okay? Okay, So asI can tell from that long spill,
all is well with me. ThankGod, I'm still praying. I'm still
trusting the process. I'm still pressing, Spillers. I pray all is well
with you. If not say somethingso that we can do something. Mental

(11:35):
health is wealth, and in orderto be wealthy, you must first be
healthy. Okay, now is oursocial media shout out time. If you
are not following this spill podcast onall of our social media networks, what
you wait on, what you're doing, what we're doing, get it together?
Thank you very much, the SpillPodcast on Instagram is The Spill Podcast

(11:58):
twenty one, you Tube The SpillPodcast TikTok The Spill Podcast. And then
for my people that just wants tofollow me on Facebooks, is I do
different things on Facebook it's more personal, but you can follow me at ta'challa
t capital t c h A Ll A. Wilson. Just follow me

(12:18):
from there. Okay. Remember also, spillers, let your friends and all
your family you're unto your cousins,mama's sister, brother's nieces, nephew,
let all of them know that TheSpill Podcast is now an advanced advertisement advocate.
So if you have a business thatyou want to grow publicized booth sales,
email me at the Spill Podcast twentyone at gmail dot com. We

(12:41):
will discuss ad price pricing, andof course your business will be featured on
all podcasts platforms and our YouTube page. And then of course every single time
an episode is played that has yourbusiness on it, that's advertisement for you.
And the podcast platform l that Iuse, people can go in from

(13:03):
two years ago and listen to episode. So in two years, if you
have this business and you're still tryingto make it grow or do what it
do. They'll play, press play, and they'll hear the episode. So
get at me again. The SpillPodcast twenty one at gmail dot com.
We are moving on, y'all knowit's just me, so I'm just gonna

(13:24):
be hitting it, right, I'mjust gonna be hitting it, So be
ready for that now, spillers,it is our Spill trend topic time.
This is the time of the episodewhere we discuss everything black. Thank God
I'm black. Hey, I won'ttake it back. Hey, I'm proud
to be black, y'all, proudto be black, baby because I am.

(13:48):
Is shout out to Miss Charlene theChristy Show from Little Ark, Arkansas
for that amazing song that's my themesong. One day, I'm going to
have the song played during this partof the episode. Okay, I'm gonna
do that one day. I justgot to get her recording and all that
good stuff. Copyright reasons, y'allknow, I do not own the rights
to any music being sang or playeda lot of it. I purchased it

(14:11):
and I support it. So yeah, that's that. So getting into your
steel tread first, we are goingto start off by shouting out Little Rock's
own Arlow Washington, pim pim pampoum pim home. Arlow's Washington documentary,
The Barber of Little Rock has wonseveral independent awards, and it was most

(14:33):
recognized Spillers for being nominated for anOSCAR in the documentary section. So go
go big time, Go Arlo Washington. That is super duper big. He
is a young man from Little Rock, Arkansas. He lost both of his
parents at a young age. Hesurvived homelessness. He eventually went to barber

(14:56):
school, opened up his own barbershop, then opened a barber school I think
it's called Washington Barber College. Starteda nonprofit loan funding program, then opened
a federally accredited credit union bank periodin the city of Little Rock, Arkansas.
Just a few things that Arlo hasdone. And of course he has

(15:18):
a documentary that he started. It'scalled The Barber of Little Rock. Like
I said earlier, I heard itwas super duper amazing. I've yet to
see it. I'm excited because Iplan on watching it any day now,
like soon, like very very soon. So I'm super excited about that.
But it's only up from here,Rlow, it is only up from here.
Congratulations your city is rooting for you. We are behind you. To

(15:41):
see you on that big stage withcelebrities that we adore and we admire is
super duper big. To know thatLittle Rock is continuously growing and we're continued
to be put on the map.So congrats again Arlo for being amazing and
being another Little Rock legend added tothe lineup. Okay, our next pil

(16:03):
transpill is I'm gonna be real briefwith this because I'm just gonna be brief.
Let me take a little sip ofmy panoa, my red wine panayr
Okay, listen, and I'm notgetting let me quit telling people yeah red
wine, because they're gonna have tostart paying me. But the Black King

(16:27):
that went viral last week for hisoutfit, mm hmm hmmm. This young
upwell, I'm not gonna say youngman. He looked like he was probably
a young adult black man was pickingup food at a water burger. Okay,
so for those who don't know,this Black King went to the store,
went to the restaurant to pick upsome food. As he was leaving,

(16:47):
he was in conversation. It soundedlike some young ladies in the background,
but it was one mainly that youcan hear on the recording, and
they was telling him that his outfitwasn't fresh, Like, nah, you're
not fresh, boy, bro,you might as well go ahead and take
an ey for this outfit, right, because in their opinion, his outfit
wasn't fresh, he was lame.So for again, those who have not

(17:10):
seen the video, let me giveyou, let me use your imagination,
and I'm gonna give you my headto toe observation. Right. So,
he had a low haircut which wasprobably like a fade, not quite boozy
fade, but it was low andit seemed like it was fresh, like
it was clean. He had ona blue powdered blue and white striped ral

(17:30):
floorn polo with the fresh white teathat peaked at the neck of the polo.
You know when they wear the polosand they have one button loose and
you can see that crispy white tea. You know, back in the day,
your grandma and your mam and dadand then used to tell you put
the t shirt on under that.Yeah, he had the fresh white tea
underneath. You can see it peekingthrough some fresh crisp creast stay flowed down

(17:57):
jeans which I'm assuming again he seemedlike young adult, not even middle aged
black men, but forties, earlyfifties maybe had that on, probably some
Levi's, but they was crisp.When I say baby crests, I'm talking
about the ones that was so crisp, increased that they can stand up by
themselves. You know, the onesyou get from the cleaner and before you
put them on, you gotta stickyour hand through the inside of them to

(18:21):
spread them apart. Yeah, hehad those on, right, And let
me make it known that that hasalways been a staple and a part of
being fresh in the South. Right, that's what we do. That's what
we do in the South. Baby, We're gonna wear some creased pink pants
and we're gonna be walking around herefresh to whatever. My husband wore pins
like that, My uncles, mydaddy, my brother, my cousins,

(18:44):
every og or old school man thatI saw in the neighborhood, the south
end of Little Rock in all overLittle Rock, for that reason, had
pants that were starched and fresh likethat. So that's a staple to me
in our culture, in the blackblack fashion culture. He had on some
new balance. I think it waslike the five to seven forest and I
say five to seven fours because whenI was in high school, my freshman

(19:07):
and sophomore year of college, thiswas over twenty years ago, that was
something that was super duper popular.And maybe I had every color. I
had, pink, white, gray, blue, yellow, I had every
color. Like Yeah, I wasone of those girls that really appreciated a
nice sneaker, but it was morenew balances in Soccon East or Socon's whatever
y'all want to call them. Thosewere my two. But he had on

(19:27):
some powder blues five to seven fourswhich matched the shirt, and the jeans
were like a light colored denim.Fresh y'all, when I say fresh fresh,
the girls made him feel like thathe did not put that ish on.
And I begged to diffoot because heput that ish on. So to

(19:49):
all of the ogs, the oldhis, the young adults, whatever you
want to call yourself. Okay,First of all, we will always taught
that what people think of us isnot our business. How they feel,
what we do, how we doit, when we do it, It
is not our business. That ain'tchanged. Right now, we're talking about
a generation of cheering that's telling herewe ain't fresh or he needs to take

(20:12):
this l The boys wear jeans thatfits like leggings. Listen to me,
y'all these cheering at here buying clothesmeant boys. We ain't even gonna talk
about the girls. Blessed. That'sall I can say about that. But
I had to bring up what theyoung men are wearing so that I can

(20:32):
hear where I'm coming from, becausetheir perspective or their judgment of this young
man's outfit, they'll never be ableto understand. But these kids are wearing
clothes three times smaller than their weightor their size. I mean, the
jeans are like leggings. I'm like, what are we doing? Why are
we wearing jeans that little? Thatskinny? You know what I'm saying.

(20:55):
But to my generation, the genX in the early millennials, if you
talking around worried about how these cheerand feel about anything you do have wearing,
you need to gone head check thatright now. Gone ahead, let
that go get over it. Checkit right now. Because first of all,
this black man was fresh, youhear me, He was fresh,

(21:19):
I'm talking about that. And theoutfit was versus hell like he could literally
wear it anywhere, he could wearit to church. If he just wanted
to get up to Jack go tochurch, he could work to church,
y'all. On a day night,to the club, to the concerts of
family photo shoot. The outfit wasreally really nice. It was age appropriate.

(21:41):
The outfit was grown. Man.It was everything I mean to me.
I just and a lot of peopleI feel like agree with me.
But it was so like you couldsmell a cologne through the screen, y'all.
You know he had on some firecologne with the outfit. One of
those first day at school, oldschool. He was fresh, y'all.
So y'all google it when you canso that you can see the outfit.

(22:03):
All I'm saying, Spillers, iswhen you know better, you do better.
Allowing these cheerdren to dictate how weshould walk or dress or talk,
trying to be like them, it'sfor the birds, and especially when it
comes to fashion, because if don'tnobody know, baby, that early nineties,
late nineties fashion was everything. Thosecrisp creast stay flow down jeans where

(22:26):
everything you either took your two hoursto iron them because it took an hour
each leg, thirty minutes each side, because you gotta spray to stay foe.
Put the iron on it, sitit down, hold it down for
a few minutes. You gotta dothat. So it's gonna take you at
least two hours to do that.And then you gotta let them air dry,
you know what I'm saying, fora few minutes to make sure that
the stars go all the way through. And if you had the money to
buy stay flow what you use flowercornstarch and I walk. I'm just saying.

(22:52):
I'm just saying, he was fresh. We cannot we can't let these
cheering get in our brains. Wecan't let him get in our feelings.
He just looks so discouraged. Iain't fash boy, if you don't go
all and I'm sure them cheery ain'tno telling what they had on. I'm
kind of glad that they didn't showit because it probably was a miss and
it was some young ladies. AndI already feel some type of way about,

(23:15):
you know, age appropriate dressing forgirls period. A lot of stuff
that I'm seeing being worn at twelvethirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Baby,
My mama wouldn't death, wouldn't I. I never even asked her weird stuff
like this because I held I didn'thave a desire, But even if I
wanted to, my mama would haveshut that down quick fast and in a
hurry. Right. But when itcomes to fashion, the most I asked

(23:37):
my baby girl, y'all, andthis is the other is the guy truth.
How my food per look go?Do it look too bad? Do
I need to do something else?Do I need to double mc girdle?
And I know it's tm I,but that's the most we talking about it.
And I really don't have those struggleswhere fashion was her because I feel
like she got a good, littleclassy sense of fashion, but she's more
hippish, you know what I'm saying. So I really I ain't listening to
it anyway, But I'm just saying, don't be out here looking crazy as

(24:00):
hell trying to take these fashion tipsfrom these cheering because ain't nobody get time
for it. I see the weirdnessevery single day. I'm a teacher middle
school in twenty twenty four. Child, I just be like, now ya,
mama, let you come back,did y'all? Mamma see you you
walk past your mama, yo dadthis morning? Like that we're doing?
But okay, yeah, Millennials genX nineteen eighty nine, maybe nineteen ninety

(24:26):
and on the quit listening to thecheering. Stop listening to the cheering,
that well, that ain't talking aboutthey ain't talking about nothing, okay,
and shout out to that black man. I think he got the confidence that
he need, y'all. He doneposted a couple more pictures, and then
one of the pictures he was askingNew Balance. He was like, what's
up, New Balance with a deal? I said, yeah, you better

(24:48):
capitalize on this moment because it's atrending topic in the culture right now.
And he just been going viral.He posted a new picture baby with some
brown five folds or whatever. Hewas fresh again. So I appreciate you
know, everybody that really saw theculture in this outfit, because I really
did, right, So shout outto him. Shoot your shadow, New

(25:11):
Balance, get that money, andkeep highlighting real grown man fashion and real
black culture fashion. All right,before we take our break, speaking of
culture, if you have not watchedShirley, the biopic based on the life
story of Shirley Chisholm, please doso asap. Spillers, This is not

(25:32):
an ad or anything. I waswatching it over the break and it's amazing.
It's super good. And I washaving a conversation with somebody who had
never heard of Shirley Chisholm. Shoutout to my sixth grade teacher, miss
out of Branch. That was neverin our history books, but she told
us and taught us about Shirley Chisholm. And that was in nineteen ninety five.
And I've always loved and respected everythingabout that black woman. And she

(25:53):
was an educator. So that mademe super duper excited to watch Regina King
play her role and she did itexceptionally well. So do that. And
then last when I leased the baby, me and my husband gonna get to
it this week. But Freaknick Baby, I heard some good stuff about Freaknick
and I'm super duper excited about watchingthat. Make sure y'all watch that too.

(26:14):
Freaknick is just about a big blackpicnic that happened in the early nineties
in Atlanta, which impacted the blackculture in a positive way. I think
think it had a major impact onhip hop, especially hip hop in the
South. I think it put usout there with unity, with Greek,
with HBCUs, just a lot oflove partying that it ended up getting negative

(26:38):
that's why I was shut down before. The most part. I feel like
the purpose of the origination of Freaknickwas for the culture, and so I've
heard really, really good things aboutit. So make sure y'all watch that.
It's been embedded in our history,It's stamped in our culture, and
that's something that I'm looking forward towatching. So if you ain't watched it,
make sure you check into all ofthat. Okay, all right,

(27:00):
spillers, All right, spillers,we are back now. We're about to
get into our spill treand topic time. Spillers, to make sure y' allready
and make sure y'all are tuned inright cause I got a little bit,

(27:22):
a lot of bit, kind ofa little bit a lot of it to
talk about, and I'm gonna tryto get through all of this like within
twenty five thirty minutes. Okay,So are y'all all right? Like I've
said in my episode prior to thisone, this topic is no tea,
it's no shade, it's no hating, it's no malice, no none of

(27:45):
that, just to name a fewugly adjectives. Okay, I just want
to have this conversation. It's somethingthat we need to discuss because I feel
like we need to be more mindfulof people, people's feelings, people's emotions,
people experiences, people time, andpeople's space, and I feel like
we really don't. We don't dothat, like we're real and considerate and

(28:08):
not everybody, you know. Someof y'all just perfect, y'all, just
Jesus Junior y out here, youknow, but some of us are inconsiderate
when it comes to that, andwe have to do better. And I'm
preaching to the choiet. Hello,missus Wilson, do better. Work in
progress. There's something I'm working on. So it's like a sip. First

(28:29):
of all, we're gonna talk aboutthe passive aggressiveness in the African American culture.
And this is my personal opinion.This is how I feel. I'm
not negain how anybody feel. I'mnot taking away from anybody experiences, emotions.
I'm not open to responses or conversations. These are my feelings. This

(28:49):
is how I feel. So I'mdisgusting period. So if you don't like
it, that's perfectly fine, Likejust agree to disagree and just to move
on or press fast forward or justdon't tell me, okay, But anyway,
I feel like in the black culture, we can sometimes be passive aggressive
with our emotions, and I feellike we are passive aggressive so long that

(29:10):
when it's time for us to addressour emotions, we so traumatize y'all that
it's hard to even get out,embarrassing to get out right. And if
our emotions involve other people or parties, which it probably does, and they
are probably negative emotions, when it'stime to address them, we don't want
to talk about it. We don'tdeal we don't want to deal with it,

(29:32):
which makes it extremely hard for usto heal from it and move on
for it from it. So I'mgrateful that we now living in the times
pillars where black people are really takingtheir mental health and their emotions, their
responses to We're taking it serious,you know what I'm saying. Like,
I feel like our culture, ourrace has endured so much, you know,

(29:55):
four hundred years of things that wedid not ask for. We just
endure so much. Y'all know ourhistory, y'all know the Black history period
from Slavesbury to racism to Jim Carolto all of that, and a lot
of it is still going on todayright But in dealing with all of this
stuff. Unfortunately, we hadn't hadthe proper tools to really deal with them.

(30:18):
I'm not gonna say acknowledge them,but talk about them and heal from
them. Because we're known for beingstrong, you know what I'm saying.
We used to going through stuff.We used to being put in the fire
and having to get out without astain, like we're used to it,
right, So we've never had toreally deal with it. But now we're
not doing it. We're not dealingwith these struggles like that anymore. A

(30:40):
lot of us aren't, and I'ma lot of us. I'm one of
them, right. And I saythis because I was a passive aggressive person
for a very long time and ittook me going to therapy several years ago
to really realize, Toy, you'vebeen real passive aggressive, right. And
one of the ways I realized itis because I later learned that a lot

(31:00):
of things that was happening, orthings that I was going through are dealing
with I was being blatantly, likeblatantly being mistreated and disrespected, right,
and in doing so, or afterknowing that I was blatantly disrespected or mistreated
or left not feeling good in orfrom certain situations. I would go back
around these same situations, these samepeople, these same scenarios, bearing a

(31:25):
smile, y'all and a laugh,trying to mask the pain, mask the
uncomfortableness, you know what I'm saying, Hoping that okay, well it'll be
better this time. So once Icome around this time and we laugh and
talk, everything a go away,go away, right, hoping and assuming
that even in those situations that peoplewouldn't like really see or feel that their

(31:51):
actions negatively affect to me. Butat this time, I'm just like masking
it, and I just kind ofswept it under the iron kind I swept
it under the world, right.I mean, when you're dealing with stuff
like that, it hurts. Whenyou are masking get hell, that hurts
even more. So. Of course, it took me years and later on
in life to really realize what Iwas doing, how I was negatively affecting

(32:15):
myself mentally and emotionally. I decidedto dive into what I could dive into,
which was me learning about me,learning about some trauma, just deeply
rooted trauma, things that I've dealtwith forever. That became normal to me,
but was not normal. I decidedto dive into that to deal with
the spillers and to learn to becomefree of it. I wanted to be

(32:37):
free because I wanted peace, youknow what I'm saying. And that's something
that when you really want peace,when you're tired of her, when you
really don't realize where a certain paincome from internally, you're willing to do
whatever you gotta do to be freefrom it, to get peace from it,
to be relieved, to let itgo. Because it's some hard it's

(33:00):
some hard ish to deal with.It's some hard ish now in doing so
and finding my peace and diving intowhatever those emotions were, whatever people that
caused those emotions, did I goto those people and bring up how they
made me feel or how that scenariomade me feel, or why it made
me uncomfortable or hurt me. Absolutelynot at that time, of course I

(33:23):
didn't. Matter of fact, Ithink I probably only shared a few of
my experiences with my mama, withJesus, my mirror and my pillow.
And I'm just being one hundred y'all, like I feel like. Once I
went to therapy, and my therapistkind of questioned me about that. Have
you had conversations? I feel likeat that point it was so long,

(33:45):
it was so old that if Ididn't say nothing at that moment or correct
them at that moment, I didn'twant to make them feel a way for
making me feel a way years agoor months ago or whatever time, however
long it's been a go. Sono, I did it. I didn't
say anything. I did not sayanything. I did not. However,

(34:08):
I knew I wanted to heal fromit. So I had to do a
self heal. Yeah, where Ihad to heal self and not worry about
a response or them acknowledging or meantingto make me feel better or to make
me relieve from it. I hadto write it down, burn it up,

(34:28):
let it go. That was somethingthat I did, right, even
without talking to them. Right,So, toy, how did you do
that? I recognized that my experiencewas my experience. My feelings in those
moments were my feelings. My traumain those moments after or later, my
emotional trauma, my mental trauma.Let me be clear, that was mine.

(34:51):
That was the first thing that Idid. The second thing I did.
They may have or may not evenhad an idea on how some things
they've done or said negatively affected mebecause it was my post. I never
said anything to them about it,right, So I had to acknowledge that
you didn't say anything about it.Some of them might be dead alive,
some of them maybe move had hell, some of them probably don't even remember

(35:14):
you, or some of them don'tremember the situations. Okay, So because
you didn't say anything about it,I set myself up or put myself in
a scenario as if I was talkingto them, wrote it down, burned
it, let it go. Third, I realized feelers that I was depleting
myself. Me, I'm depleting myselfof strength, mental and emotional strength,

(35:37):
of sleep, you know what I'msaying. Not them, They ain't worried,
because hell, they probably don't know, They probably don't remember, Hell,
they probably don't even care. ButI was the one emotionally affected.
So I had to change that forme, for I wanted to be completely
free. I wanted to be free, and I wanted to no longer.

(35:58):
I didn't want those situations to knowlonger have emotional control over me over the
way that I responded, the waythat I reacted to certain things triggers.
Basically, I didn't want that anymore, S Millers. So I did what
I had to do, And thevery last thing that I decided to do
was move forward with my life.And a part of me moving forward was
letting go of the past, whichis imperative right, forgiving the partyes or

(36:23):
whatever, and myself giving it toGod and healing that. It's so important,
it's so important now. I can'tsay that I've forgotten those things because
I haven't forgotten. I probably won'tever forget, right, I can forgive
you, but I probably won't everforget. And because I still have that

(36:46):
somewhere in my brain, I knowthe dynamic of our relationship will probably never
be the same. And that's inany situation I've moved past and healed from
so many you know what I'm saying, even now, Like the relationships dynamics
just changed, and it didn't changewith beef because it does not have to

(37:06):
be beef right. You don't haveto be into it, you don't have
to be mad. You don't haveto when you're healing. You're healing for
yourself. So a part of healingis not being mad the hell you're still
mad for you know, you gottaforgive, you gotta let go, and
you have to heal for yourself.Okay, So that's what I did.
I didn't worry about anybody else.I didn't worry about the next person.

(37:29):
I wanted to heal for myself sothat I can be free mentally, so
that I can be free emotionally,and so that I can have the ultimate
piece that I wanted. When youwant that piece, spillers, you're gonna
do whatever is necessary to get it. You're going to do whatever is necessary
to get it, because it's hardwhen you're not living in peace. It's

(37:51):
just hard. It's not a goodfeeling. It's hard. And then you
know when you stress, your words, your anxiety, everything hidenes, blood
pressure, everything being dropped dead.Let it go. I think you need
to let it go. Listen.One of my good, good girlfriends gave
me some advice. She said,most of the time, we want the

(38:13):
next person to respond in a waythat we would want to respond, or
we want them to respond like aspiritual way or a nice way at not
acknowledging, holding themselves accountable, whatever. But sometimes they are too worldly to
even understand that. Writing their wrongsis important. They live in their best

(38:34):
lives and were walking around here stressedholding on to that foolishness. Sometimes what
you need or what you want fromother people, like my therapist said,
they're just not capable of giving itto you. And we have to be
okay with that, because the onlyperson that you can control is you.
You can't control them, You can'tcontrol their emotions, you can't control the

(38:57):
way that they respond to react.You can only control you. So let
it go, take care of you, spillers. Okay. Now, some
people may need to have conversations inorder to completely forgive, let go and
move on, and that is perfectlyfine. That it's okay because some situations
are that deep that once you getto the root of it, you need

(39:22):
to ask why. You need toask why was I in this situation or
what happened or what cause? Youmay have questions, and then you may
want to express how that made youfeel and the effect that it has had
on your life, especially if thattrauma caused some really really really really deep
way of responding to things. Yeah, you may need to have that conversation,

(39:44):
right, and that is okay.One of my closest friends We've been
friends since a long time, overold almost thirty years, dain near but
I've literally called her just checking onher recently, and she said, friend,
I had this conversation with a person. She has not had a conversation
with this person and over twenty years, but they have about twenty five years

(40:07):
of dealing with each other, butshe hadn't really had a conversation with him,
and she was to the point towhere it was almost like hate towards
this person, right, just hate. And she said that she's been going
through some self help, doing somethings to make herself a better person.
She's an amazing person, but weknow what we deal with emotionally, That's
what I mean. Outside everybody thatsee her, everybody that know are you're

(40:29):
gonna know that she's amazing, anamazing person with a heart of goal,
but she had some issues internally shewanted to deal with. That was something
that was really holding her back.Gal says she had this conversation y'all twenty
years in the making, over twentyfive years of knowing and said that after
the conversation she felt like a wholehuman being had been lifted off of her.

(40:52):
She expressed her pain her disappointments,everything that those years took her through,
and after she got it out,she said she had never felt so
much peace in all of her life. I mean, that's amazing. So
if that's something that you have todo or something that you need to do,
it do it. You know,we punish ourselves and we make ourselves

(41:15):
suffer when we really can take careof some things years before we even get
as traumatized or as hurt, oras miserable or as mentally bound as we
would be so many years later,take care of it again in the black
community. To me, I feellike now we big on our mental health

(41:36):
and we do what we gotta do. Unfortunately, the last few years,
especially for Gen X and early millennials, you know, eight nineteen ninety and
I feel like now we are seriousabout therapy because a lot of stuff that
some gen X and new millennials dealtwith its children are traumatizing and families have

(41:57):
swept that crap under the rug foryears. Hell no, it's time to
talk about it. Get that messoff your chest, get it at your
heart, and live as peacefully asyou can. And once you get a
dose of peace, baby, adevilaining in hell gonna be able to disturb
it. Ain't get somebody else todo it. Get somebody else to do

(42:17):
it. Okay, So if that'snecessary that you need to have those conversations
spillers, do so. And inthe midst of having those conversations or identifying
or diving and dealing, understand thata part of the process is letting go
so that you can fully heal.That is a must. That is the

(42:38):
point healing. Right, So asyou are healing, as you are going
to therapy, as you are praying, and actively forgiving, because we got
to put some intention behind forgiving.We just can't say, oh, I
forgive, uh uh. You gottaput some action of those forgiving. That
don't mean invite them to your houseor go out to eat. That means
if you see them, say hey, That means if they call you and

(43:00):
need some help. In your spirityou've discerned that they really need some help.
That means help. This ain't gonnabe gonna add had gotcha actively forgiving.
But still don't allow people to tellyou your experience or your feelings.
Okay, don't let nobody do that. I feel like even now we are
living in a time to where wenegate everybody's experience. Not everybody. Now,

(43:23):
some of us we dismiss the waypeople feel. We dismiss their experiences,
you know, and we feel likejust because they feel a certain way
about a situation or a person,blah blah blah, we shouldn't or we
should whatever the case may be.In no circumstance, fillers, In no

(43:44):
circumstance will anybody feelings or emotions orexperiences ever be the same. It don't
matter if you had the same relationship, friendship, family ship. It does
not matter if that person was horribleto somebody that situation, or that person
mistreated you, denied you, wasn'tresponsible, had a lot of misbehaviors,

(44:04):
weren't holding themselves accountable, or nobodyaround them was holding them to whatever the
case may be. If that isyour experience, or your emotions or your
lessons from that situation, don't feelbad about it, and don't let nobody
rob you of it. Do yourpart to heal and move on with the
YF But don't let nobody tell you. If you're expressing those experiences and somebody

(44:29):
disagree with your experience and your emotions, don't let them do that. Because
first of all, you need todiscern the audience that you even sharing that
experience with who you talking to.First of all, if you're gonna share
it with somebody, share with somebodythat's not gonna be biased, that's not
gonna be on one of the otherside. Share with somebody that may not

(44:49):
have had that experience with them,may have had that experience with them,
but somebody that's trustworthy, and that'sgonna give you an honest opinion and an
honest, you know response. Butquit don't, Yeah, examine your audience
who you're talking to. You know, if you real cool with somebody and
they date somebody that you know ain'tworth a nickel, or you real cool

(45:10):
with this family member and they,you know, straight up the fence and
blah blah. You know when tohold your tongue. And if you don't
know when I hold your tongue,it's time that you learn. Baby,
It's time, Bibby, you gotIt's twenty twenty four. We got to
know who were talking to and whotalking to who. I'm just saying,

(45:30):
no, your people know your audience. Are you talking to people that you
know gonna run and tell somebody?Or are you talking to people that's really
gonna listen to you, hear you, and respond accordingly. And it's not
gonna be a bias or a meanresponse. It's gonna be an honest,
godly response. That's who you needto be talking to. Okay, you

(45:51):
feel how you feel. Ain't nothingwrong with how you feel. Don't let
nobody take it from you. Butit is a responsibility of yours to release
it if it's negative, to forgiveand to heal. Don't miss the lesson
in the experience. But you haveto release it so that you can heal.
Okay, and this is for ourchildren too, spillers, I feel

(46:12):
like as adults, as parents,we dismiss the feelings of our children.
Hell no, we ain't let nobodyplay with our children. I done been
through so much. I wish thatHell, baby, m not make you
do not mine, not my family, friends, It don't matter hell to

(46:34):
the now, to the now,now now. It is your duty as
a parent to protect your child.First. You're protecting them emotionally. Protect
your babies, protect them. That'swhy a lot of our children are not
emotionally intelligent. That's why they lost. That's why. No, it's your

(46:58):
job to do that. We cannotkeep raising kids or raising a generation that
deals with trauma and we sweep itunder the rug. Or we know a
person that's treating our child or childrena certain type of way and we're not
saying nothing. Batter of hell,Now, speak up, speak now,
or forever hold your tongue because itain't. You ain't holding no peace,
because that's not peace. And ifyou if you feel like your child is

(47:20):
dealing with something that's beyond your controlleryou can't handle or you can't help,
get them some therapy. Hell,if you ain't got insurance, start with
the school counselor somebody at your church. Give them some therapy. Okay,
parents are the first teachers. Emotionalintelligence is real. It's serious. It

(47:42):
starts at home. Speak life intoyour babies. Model what respectful behavior is
in front of them. Model rightbehavior and good choices, Show them what
it looks like and how it feelsto be treated fair. And just raise
them in a church or a spiritualbackground so that they can know to line

(48:05):
with God or if some of peoplecall it higher power, whatever that is,
universe, and I won't saying itwith God, my Lord and save
Jesus Christ to be clear for meand mine. But raise them for that.
With that, introduce them to somegood, healthy books. That's gonna
stimulate their brains, that's gonna helpin a rich and encourage them Bible versus.

(48:28):
Do your part parents by positively investingin your child's emotional intelligence. It's
your responsibility, is your duty,it's your job to do it. First,
Hell, start out by telling themthey are important, they are somebody,
They are beautiful, they are loved, they are rare, they are
smart. Tell them, show themmaybe I know I do mind. Jacked

(48:52):
up baby, jacked up in thesestreet Baby, I wish somebody would try
to come up the hood and tryto bring out some now baby, her
mama get it all up in onderher brain. Babe, you somebody,
You're loved, You're beautiful. Don'tlet nobody to play with you, don't
let ab to play in your face, and don't let nobody to play about

(49:13):
you. You the ish Sis beendoing it almost seventeen, been doing that
since she was in my belly,singing songs to her, putting a headphones.
We had headphones, the real oneswith the cotton back in the day
on my belly so she could hearLauren Hill erica bad. Yeah, been
doing it for a long time,So make sure you do that. Parents,

(49:34):
we are our children's first teacher.Be their favorite teacher, the teacher
that taught them the most important lessonthat they will never forget. Okay,
the teacher that's their God on theside. Shout out to doctor Hervey for
teaching me that at Flandersmith University yearsago. It's Landersmith College. Teach them
stuff that they'll never forget that they'llbe able to pass on to their generation
and their children and generations after that. Teach them them lessons and they'll teach

(50:00):
them how to be exempt from somelessons too. You catch that on your
way home. Yeah, some stuffthing gotta go through. I'm just saying
some stuff thing gotta go through.So, parents, it's our job,
our responsibility to be that voice forour babies, be that parent that they
can always learn from and they cancome to any I mean forever until even

(50:22):
when you die. You come into their dreams, reminded them of stuff.
That's the type of seed you needto plenty your baby's hearts. For
real, y'all, for real,it's time that we start doing it,
it gotta start at home because thisworld ain't nothing nice. This world ain't
nothing nice, and it just ain't. And I just don't want my baby
to be a part. She's gonnahave to deal with the world because she's

(50:43):
gonna be in the world until weget to heaven. But while she's here
a lot of things that are ofthe world, I'm raising her and teaching
her not to be a part ofbecause it's not okay. In hell,
it ain't normal, right. Soyou may not be able to feel every
single voice in their lives or completeor answer every question, but you dang

(51:04):
sure can. That can be thegoal, And that's always my goal with
mine all the time. Baby worksher nerve every day. Good morning,
you look pretty good. Evening,you look pretty good, afternoon, you're
beautiful. Oh wonderful job, You'reso smart. Oh girl, do this
for me? Hell and I'm forreal, my baby, Yeah she does.
When I was in grad school,Yeah, even now, she helped

(51:24):
people out. God is my witness. She's done college papers for people because
I've instilled that confidence in her.And she's not cocky with it because she'll
say, well, I can dobetter. Well, I know that blah
blah blah, but I've instilled thosethings in her so she knows she's very
capable. Okay, So make surethat y'all are y'all, y'all, y'all

(51:45):
cheering's first parents, teachers all that. Okay, Next, and I'm just
gonna be on this for five secondsbecause I said that in an episode a
few episodes ago. Stop letting peopleplay in your face, stay on business,
stand on business when it comes toyou and your emotions. Lately,
I've just been real heavy about me. I've been real heavy about my heart.

(52:06):
I've been real heavy about my energyand who I'm projecting it to.
Period. I know my heart.I know what my heart has had to
bear, the pain, the sadness, the misunderstanding, the neglect, and
I know a lot of this stuffwas to know fault of my own and
those were lessons for me. Sobecause they were listens for me. Before
anybody get to ride me on mypeace, joy and happiness down, play

(52:30):
me, play in my face,play with your play, find you somebody
to play with, Find just somebodyto play with. Because Toya has learned
to move around and when I saynot in circles, baby, My move
around game is it's hey, howyou doing? Input? That's it,
That's all I got, That's allI got. When I find my place

(52:52):
in people's lives, I move accordingly. I teach my daughter this all the
time, and this is something thatI live by. Auntie Maya's baby.
When people show you who they are, what the hell else you looking for?
Believe them? Believe them. Itshould not take you being played with

(53:15):
more than one time subliminally. Icouldn't even get it that I had gotten
my feelings subliminally slick shade jokes,dates or invitations or not. All I'm
saying is, as long as youare not being delusional, you're not in

(53:35):
your own head about the situation,feelings and all that stuff, and what
you feel and what you know islegit. It's one hundred. It ain't
from insecurity and be jealousy none ofthat. Baby, Stand on that and
move accordingly. Don't let nobody playwith you, stop playing with you,
about you, baby. You canforgive people, but access can still be

(53:57):
denied. It ain't nothing wrong withit. There is no thing wrong with
that. Some relationships may be worthsavaging, some may not right, but
you have to be able to discernthat and pray and ask God to show
and reveal to you. Right thatAgain, like I said earlier, they
don't mean that you beefing or youmoving on because those relationships did not go
to the next level or a newchapter in your life. Right because at

(54:21):
the end of the day, wegotta be christ Like, we gotta be
God like. We have to loveeverybody. We have to do right by
everybody. So you should still beable to be around them cordially, speak
to them, hey by If theywant don't want to respond, that's on
them. You do your part.You show you're a good character, you
respond accordingly. Right, I'm preachingto the choir because maybe I just ain't

(54:44):
quite there yet. It's still acouple people in my spirit that I walked
all on by. I got thewalking by spirit, but I'm a work
in progress. It's something that I'mreally praying about. I feel like I
have forgiven them, but I stillhave a little anger, you know what
I'm saying. But I'm working onit. I'm working on it, I
promise I am. And I feellike before I get out of here,

(55:06):
the little gonna he gonna make mebetter with that who's spill it, you'll
pray for me, my real spillers, my prayers spill send one up for
your girl, because I just wantto be able to converse and speak to
everybody, even those that I feellike have have have moved weird. I
just want to be able to dothat right with no heart feelings. So

(55:27):
now this is my very last spill, and I'm just gonna shout out to
my married folk real quick, andmy single folk, one of my good,
good solid girlfriends, to my sisterfriend, my sorority sister who is
married, been married for quite sometime. We'll do a little marriage check
in every now and then. She'sgot a whole bunch of more years on

(55:49):
me. Did a little marriage checkin to make sure the Wilson's are good.
And to the married folk, tothe folk getting ready to get married,
preparing to be married, one tobe married. That is always something
really really good to have to havepeople you can at least go to to
get encouraging me from people that youcan kind of vent to without telling all
your business or putting it all outthere, but people that you can go

(56:12):
to and you don't have to worryabout it going anywhere else. That's imperative
to have mary folk engage folk preparingto be married if it's not a solid
couple, a solid married couple,a good, solid marriage therapist or a
therapist that you can have these conversationswith. But she sent me a message
and just reminded me. She waslike, hey, y'all, remember the

(56:32):
devil wants to and he's doing everythinghe can to try to destroy marriages.
Anything by nymies necessary. He's gonnaattack marriages and he's trying to destroy them.
He knows the weak areas of themarriages, where it's the man of
the woman or just the marriage ingeneral. He know what couple, he
know what to use to make themhave the problems. He knows every trick

(56:58):
in the game to bring in thatwill try to cause some type of division.
But you cannot let him win.You have to acknowledge. Yeah,
this is the enemy trying to dowhat he do. You ain't got to
say it oloud, because I don'tnever say it out loud. But I
will say outloud, I'll beat youin the name of Jesus in my house
and my marriage. The devil willnot. You will not, you know.

(57:19):
But I'm not giving him no creditand telling him what he trying to
do. I'm just telling him whathe's not going to do. But it's
imperative that you stay relying on Godin each other. Okay, it says
yeah, sound easier said than done, But when you're married, when you're
faced with something, you have tokeep God first. You have to serve
one another, prioritize one another iny'all's feelings, and you gotta communicate,

(57:43):
communicate, communicate, communicate, communicate, communicate and some more because you got
to make sure that there's always anunderstanding, right, you have to make
sure. Listen, I'm almost fouryears in be married four years this year,
and that's something that I'm still learning. It's something that i'm still working
on. It's something that I'm practicing, and I'm very intentional about it because

(58:07):
I love my marriage. I lovemy husband. Right, I'm heavy on
my marriage. I'm heavy on myhusband. I'm heavy on my black love.
Hell, I'm heavy on all blacklove period. When I see black
married couples, it just does somethingto me. No offense to anyone else
or any other race, but I'mjust I'm pro black, and that's just
something that I love to see andI love to see the black family.

(58:29):
Right, So pray over your marriage. Pray over you and your spouse individually
and collectively. Even though you're one, you still can pray over each other
individually and collectively, and then prayfor your union. Right. It's not
always gonna be peaches and cream.I told you, I'm still working on
that. I'm learning that. Butif you are in that marriage because you
want to be in that marriage,you can't imagine yourself your life anywhere else

(58:52):
or with anyone else, then you'regonna do whatever it takes, whatever is
necessary to make sure that that marriageworks. Let it lasts. And it's
important, Spillers, it's important.Stop thinking it's just about you or it's
all about him. It's not allabout neither one of y'all. It's all
about the marriage. It's all aboutyou both. You know what I'm saying.

(59:13):
So yeah, Stan Tinto's down onyour Black love sisters. Brouh marriage
is beautiful. Shout out to allof the amazing husbands and all of the
amazing wives that are putting in thatwork, keeping that covenant between God and
each other, loving on each other. And Ryan to the will's fault.
All. Shout out to my marriedpeople in my life, in my circle

(59:37):
and my friends. I love y'all. Y'all know y'all are now time I
single people. I ain't forgot abouty'all. Don't let nobody tell y'all that
marriage is overrated. Lies, lies, lies, and more lies, okay,
because it is absolutely nothing like findingyour person and being able to spend
the rest of your life with them. I'm talking about. I ain't worried

(59:59):
about nothing. And you know thelove that you have for them. They
know the love that they have foryou. You know the love that they
have for you, vice versa.All of that, praying together, worshiping
together, whether it's at home orin the edifice of a church, campus,
a building, traveling together in together. Maybe my favorite thing. Enjoying

(01:00:20):
a nice drink music. It's amazing, y'all. It's beautiful. Maybe I
seen the garage of called the Wilson'sGarage Chronicles. Then to day, put
a little music on, have alittle drink, sending the backyard fight at
grille up with the music in thelittle wine, little cocktail. Any day,
heaven, heaven, It is amazing, Okay. The Bible says that

(01:00:43):
a man that finds a wife findsa good thing and obtains favor from the
Lord. So when your marriages knowyou going into this marriage, favorite like
God gonna do some extraordinary thing becauseHe honors marriage. He loves marriage.
That's why the devil is hard tryingto attack. That's why he's hard trying
to break it up and do whateverhe has to do, because he knows

(01:01:05):
that God honors that. He knowsthat. So don't let nobody to trick
you into thinking that it's not baby. It's all that in a bag of
microwave popcorn extra butterle movie theater popcornbutter that part. So prepare yourself.
You know what I'm saying. Makesure that it's your person, meaning it
ain't nobody else person. For one, and for two, you've learned everything

(01:01:29):
or the most about this person inand out prior to marriage. Do some
pre marital counseling. That's imperative.Don't let nobody tell you. Don't nobody
do it. Find you a counselorif the person is marrying you, it's
not counseling. Counsel on you,or you're going to the justice of peace.
Find you a family therapist, anddo some pre mariital counseling before you
get married. That's important. Okay, that is important. And once you've

(01:01:52):
done all of that, found yourperson, marriage your person you're gonna have,
you're gonna be climbing mountains all thetime, but they're gonna get easier
to climb. They're gonna be betterbecause you're climbing them with the person that
you want to climb up with.And you just gonna blossom and glow like
you literally gonna blossom and glow upfrom that moment. Keep people at your
business again, I said earlier,Make sure you got you a good,

(01:02:14):
solid married couple, solid of marriedcouple or a couple ifinna get married,
or a therapist that you can talkto and share to. Other than that,
if you need to vent, youneed to vent to your spouse,
a therapist, or Jesus, andif it's not one of them, share
the hell up, shut up respectfullybecause whatever it is that you're going through,

(01:02:36):
whatever you go through, y'all probablycan bounce back from that. But
the people that you vented to probablywon't be able to. That's when the
judgement comes in. All they stupidor all they didn't now take it to
the Lord and prayer child or letgo let God. Okay, So that
is ours Field, episode twenty eight. Are y'all right for today's spillers.

(01:03:02):
I really, really, really hopeyou all enjoyed that episode. It was
just something that I've just been notingand God placed it on my heart and
he gave me the right words Ifeel like, and I just wanted to
say it to y'all. Okay,So before we leave, spillers, y'all
know what time it is. Itis our spill encouragement time. Spillers.

(01:03:22):
We have to learn to treat othersthe way that we want to be treated,
period, at all times, noexemptions. This is Holy Week,
so I would be remiss if Idid not dedicate this moment and give praises
to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christwhere they'll do. I want to take
a moment to reflect on the timewhen Jesus was on the cross, after

(01:03:44):
he had marched up God, Gotham, Hell bared that cross, went through
everything that he went through physically,emotionally, mentally. One of his last
things which were which is a partof the Christ's last seven sayings, was
my God, My God, whyhas that forsaken me? So in that
moment, Spillers, I feel likeJesus had to feel the loneliest that he

(01:04:04):
had ever probably felt during this journey. I'm sure when he was on the
mound, you know, praying andstuff, he probably felt lonely when he
saw his disciples sleeping and he wantedto pray. I'm sure it was a
lot of situations. But when hewas lifted up on that cross by himself,
I feel like that he felt justlonely. He felt abandoned. And

(01:04:26):
Spillers, we know the feeling ofloneliness. We know the feeling of abandonness
abandonment right, So from our relationshipof any sort, it doesn't matter who
it's from, where it's from,we know those feelings and those are not
good feelings. So because we've hadthose feelings before, and if you haven't
considered yourself blessed, but if youhave, if you don't enjoy the feeling,

(01:04:47):
do your part in making sure thatyou don't project those feelings or experiences
into anyone else's life. After Jesuscried out to his heavenly father, why
has sad forsaken me. Of course, he said few other profound statements,
but his last statement was he commandedhis spirit to God, meaning he joined
his heavenly father in heaven and hejourneyed from death. But that's not the

(01:05:11):
end of y'all to resurrection hallelujah,meaning that he rows on the third day
with all power in his hand.If you do not know him, Spillings,
get to know him, Get toknow him. He's so wonderful,
he's so amazing, and it's soworth it, I promise it is.
It is so worth it if youplead the fifth do right by people,

(01:05:35):
because what goes around certainly comes backaround. And if you know him,
but you're growing, if you knowhim and you're still growing in him,
continue to grow in him. Wewill never be perfect and we'll never be
him. We can always just continueto be like him, which is something
we'll be doing until we meet himagain. All right, So Spiller's Happy

(01:05:56):
Holy Week, Happy Resurrection Sunday tothose who are listening on Easter morning or
Sunday for those who missed the episodeon the premiere, I pray that you
all are enjoying your week, thatyou enjoy the rest of your week.
Take some time to reflect on yourheart, your peace, and your joy.
Acknowledge what it is that you're dealingwith or what you're going through,

(01:06:20):
put some prayer behind it, andput some praise behind it. I love
you all so much and thank youall for tuning in to The Spill Podcast.
Until next time, this is yourgirl, Busus Wilson and she is
signing out.