SEASON 3 EPISODE 3- AMIRACLE!

A MIRACLE! HER STORY, HER LIFE, HER TRUTH! YALL GOTTA TAP IN...I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO SAY MUCH! BUCKLE UP! I PRAY SOMEONE IS BLESSED BY THIS EPISODE! -MRS. WILSON

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:21):
I'm have to tell you a story about that. Our lights.
Electricity went out a couple of weeks ago, and I
mean it just went out. And so the only thing
we have is like a little lamp, you know, a
battery lamp. My husband and it was raining bad. My
husband raised the windows and he put both of those
fans in our window. When I say the best sleep,

(00:44):
I said, Noga. One more is to have some of
them nights. Because we slept so good.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I was like, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Anyway, hey world, welcome to the spill Podcast, your favorite podcast,
featuring your favorite podcast. Toast me your girl, Missus Wilson.
Welcome Spillers two, episode three of season three. Listen, y'all.
So I told y'all I had an amazing line up

(01:14):
for this season. And I know y'all be mad at
me for having to wait every two weeks, but listen,
it is worthy wait. And for the Spillers that are
not caught up, make sure that you catch up. But
this guest that I have today, baby, we've been talking
about getting her on this episode since season two back
in May Mother's Day, like literally, and here we are

(01:39):
September and I finally got you one and I'm super
duper excited. I say that about every episode, but I
know this episode gonna bless somebody. Okay, so we have
a miracle in the building. Pill Pill, Pill, Pill Pill.
Welcome to the Spill Podcast. Can you pull the mic
to you. You have a soft, beautiful voice, and I

(02:00):
just want you to speak in the mic so the
people can hear you. See, see, we see. I'm gonna
ask you about that too, because I heard the little
here and talent a few weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah, we're
gonna get there anyway. So a miracle it is her
birth name. Welcome again to the Spill Podcast. I'm super
duper excited to have you here, and we're gonna get
this ball rolling. So every single episode a miracle. I

(02:23):
do a mental a spill mental check in. I'm a
mental health advocate. I think it's really important that we
take care of our mental health, especially nowadays with the
way that things go on. Life be life and God
still gotten, but I still feel like it's important that
we do so. So it's my duty and my obligation
to make sure I check in on my guess because
a part of me starting this podcast almost three years

(02:46):
ago were for mental reasons to make sure that I
kind of help the people in the community mentally as
much as I can. Right, So the first thing I
do is I ask my guests how they are mentally,
and I like for my guests to respund with it
the emotional word, to just tell me how you feel
or whatever. Your status is, your mental status at this moment,

(03:08):
so a miracle. How are you?

Speaker 2 (03:12):
I'm encouraged.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
How y'all my wine?

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Now you gotta. I'm encouraged because I'm an overcomer. Yes,
this year in October will be four years since I
went through my traumatic experience. We're gonna get into that,
get into that, but I'm encouraged to see the growth

(03:36):
of where I've come from. You know, mentally, I'm really
in a good place. I am stressed, I ain't upset
about nothing. I'm really at peace.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
And you look like it.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
You look I'm talking about when you're tapping.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Oh, that part got gotta tap end.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
You got to reach up before you can reach out
that part.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
I love it. Well, you look well, you look beautiful.
I told you came in here. You getting skinty on me?
Won't he do it? Lord? I need to do something.
Tell me Jesus back up from the table. Something something, Well,
I'm glad. All is well with you. A miracle, you
look like it. You wearing it. Baby. When I say

(04:22):
bold and beautiful, you wearing it. So keep it up.
All is well with me, Spillers, I'm grateful. I am
at peace. Like you said, I have so much joy.
Yesterday I just had a moment to where I just
during my worship I just thank God and I thank
him for a long time, because I thank Him every

(04:43):
single day all day. Don't get me wrong, but yesterday
I was just thinking about little things and I feel
like those my new things that we kind of passed
through and we really don't think about, we don't take
we take for granted, having water, being able to climb
out of your bed, just little things and I just
really worship him and I thank him for that, and
I'm super grateful. So I'm grateful right now. I have

(05:05):
a lot of joy. I have a lot of peace.
I'm excited about my future. I'm excited about what's going
on in this country. The energy that Vice President Kamala
Harris is kind of bringing, the hope that she's giving
and bringing the people. I'm just in a great, great space,
and I'm sitting it in and enjoying it because my
pastor always says, if you hadn't been in this, if

(05:27):
you're not coming out of a storm, you're not in
a storm, get ready because you're probably about to go
through a storm. And so I like to sit in
my joys and my peace while i'm in them, because
I know something's gonna come to where I'm gonna have to,
you know, put that faith you know to work. So Spillers,
I pray all is well with you. If all is
not well, please say something so that we can do something.

(05:52):
All right, a miracle. This is our social media shout
out time. If you are not following The Spill Podcast
on your social media platform, what are you waiting on?
Follow us on Instagram, The Spill Podcast, twenty one YouTube,
The Spill Podcast, and TikTok The Spill Podcast Now a miracle.
I know you have some businesses, honey, yes, and I

(06:13):
can testify to that cooking. So in case the people
are going to listen to this episode, but they'll probably
go back and want to follow you support you do
you want to give out your social media handles so
that the people can follow, support, business information whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
This okay with a Miracle Ross. I'm the CEO and
founder of a Miracle Soul Kitchen. I am on Facebook
as a Miracle Soul Kitchen as well as Instagram. I
haven't made it to the tick or the Talking Hallelujah,
but I also have a website, which is a Miracle
Soul Kitchen dot com. You can find me on the

(06:55):
book Everything you need to know, you can see all
my pictures. Are also in the process of relaunching my boutique,
Virtuous touch by, So that'll be relaunching soon for our
plus size bad.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yes, and we act here.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
We actually still look good and modest bass. I'm right,
that'll be relaunching. And I also will be launching my
nonprofit soon.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
And I think you got to tell me about that. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
Launching soon as well, and we'll get into that a
little later.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, we're gonna get into that.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Those are my social media handles, and make sure you.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
All follow her, follow her, like, support, subscribe a miracle.
It's a M I R A c l E. It's
literally like a and miracle and miracle. Okay, so make
sure you all follow her don't forget Spiller's. The Spill
Podcast isn't avery time advanced advertisement advocate. So if you
have a business you want to grow publicized, boost yourselves,

(07:52):
email me at The Spill Podcast twenty one at gmail
dot com for ad prices and your business will be
featured on all podcast platforms as well as YouTube every
time an episode is played and or aired. Okay, all right,
did you want to add anything to that? All right,
so spellers, we are moving on. All right, spellers, I

(08:33):
hope you all enjoyed those amazing jazz tunes for my
boys Philly Moo and Quincy Q Notes Watson. I always
try to bring that together like I'm not gonna get
tongue tied, but anyway, them the Trap Trap Jazz Brothers,
the Giants from Little Rock, my Homeboys, my fam All right, feelings,
it is topic time. We're about to get to the

(08:55):
meat of the podcast, the baby into it, So listen
a miracle. I know quite a few people, and I
feel like quite a few people know me. But I
met you around May through my cousins. I met you
in April on Facebook, like I would you know they
would post your food and I, you know, make my comments,

(09:16):
and then I finally went to an event where you
were serving food and it was scrumptious and delicious and
we talked about it just for a little We just
had quick conversation. It was like magnets, like we just
knew each other and we went in it and I
was like a podcast and Kat was like, you need
to have her. I was like, no, I need her
to be on the podcast. But at that time, we
were wrapping up season two and I was getting ready

(09:37):
for summer break, and I told you, girl, I need
you to come on and share with the people in
your life so that the people can get to know you.
I'm gonna ask two questions in one. I know you're
not from Little Rock, so tell us where you're from.
How did you get to Little Rock? And then give
us the testimony and backstory of that beautiful name a miracle.
And I need you in a mind because yours and

(09:58):
thoughts is beautiful.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
So I'm originally from Mississippi. I'm a little country town
called can, Mississippi, maybe thirty minutes away from Jackson, Mississippi.
I actually ended up coming here for ministry purposes. I
was married to a pastor at that time. We were
kind of going through some little issues trying to really,

(10:20):
you know, figure out what is it that we were
supposed to be doing. We was in a lot of
different churches, you know, hearing a lot of different preaching,
but it was not what we were looking for, but
what we felt like where we were trying to go.
So we ended up started having church in our home
and we met this pastor by the name of Pastor
Kevin Battle. He started coming in and teaching and he's

(10:43):
beginning to tell us about his spiritual father here, which
is Bishop Robert Erlsmith Singer. So my x ex get
that right. My ex husband ended up coming up here
for a men's conference and they have which they had
an academy which they still do, Christian Academy for children.

(11:05):
And he was so impressed by what he saw as
far as the children worshiping at six o'clock in the
morning and in prayer on their knee, how the children
was quote Scripture. Seeing the family dynamic here, it was
just something that he had never seen before, especially in Mississippi,
because we come out of Baptists, you know, but we
transitioned into non denomination, so it was a big shift.

(11:28):
Even in that. So he was so impacted. He came
back like, look, I feel like this is what we
need to be. He was talking about Quinn's job and
I'm pregnant. Oh. I don't know what number that was,
maybe six ' five whatever number was, I'm pregnant. I'm like, look, bro,
what you made? You want to pack up and leave?

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (11:51):
And so he's like, well, I want you to meet them.
I said, well, God, gonna have to tell me because
right now, you know, I'll just stay at home.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Mom.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
I'm used to I'm living in a gated commune, were
living good, and you know he's making over six figures
a year to leave.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
So we ended up coming up here. Like I said,
we start having the little issues and he ministered to us.
We end there just arguing and arguing. He's sitting there
in chips with his legs crossed, just sitting there, had
his wrong bone. I'm pregnant, emotional. He said, y'all done,
and I just looked at him, like what you mean?

(12:26):
He said, y'all just need Christ. He said, you got Jesus,
but you need Christ, the finished work, the finished work,
the redemptive work, the redemptive Yeah. And I sat there.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
That's a heart tack right there. Baby.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
I sitting there, I was like, oh, sorry the mic.
So I'm like, okay, lord, what you're trying to say.
So my ex husband looking at me like like we
both got quiet, couldn't say anything.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
He convicted, very.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
Convicted at that time. So he said, we'll just I'm
on here, eat Y'all'll be all right. That's how he
says this. Now. We didn't arguing about a hour, sitting
on this man couch, real level, argu you just eat chips,
drinking this little lemon and age just letting us go in. It'say,
y'all need Christ then said, come on, let's have dinner.
Eight laid it out, talked a little more, and when

(13:18):
we got on the highway, I felt like he's leaping
and your bully in my belly and you know you're pregnant.
That ain't the same And he had the same feeling
when I did. And I said, I believe God want
us here, and he said, girl, I prayed that God
will both give us a sign at the same time.

(13:38):
That leap and that leap at the same time. It
was at the stop signing do this at the little
fau waist time going back to Mississippi, and I was like, yeah,
God want us here, and so we ended up going
back home.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
What year was this, if you don't mind, it's.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Twenty twenty four, I think there's like twenty twelve, twenty
ten something like that, Okay, and so we on our
way back to Mississippi. Immediately we got back home, we
just started giving away everything in our.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
House, giving it away.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yeah, like we didn't gave away eight thousand dollars bedroom sets,
full wrap around couches, and we had just remodeled our
home put forty thousand dollars in here, so you know,
God had had his hands on the bine we done.
Redid Ruth built in a pantry, everything, the whole kitchen

(14:25):
had been remodeled, bathrooms. Basically, the people that got the
house got a brand new house. Everything we had closed
in the garage, seen anything in, put the living room
over there, and made a diner like redid the whole house.
Only for us to leave and come here to be
sleeping on the floor in a two bedroom apartment.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Help God.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
And I think we had was it seven or eight
children then in a two bedroom apartment sleeping on the floor.
One bathroom. Oh you know, they had to be God. Yeah,
So we transitioned here, of course, we you know, we
got into the ministry, cooking, you know, all that type

(15:07):
of stuff or whatever.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
So that's that's why we were here initially. And you
gave me this story about your name.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Oh yeah, a miracle. Interesting. So my mom was on drugs,
she didn't even know she was pregnant with me, didn't
have a clue she had actually, oh deed, they have
to bring her back twice, and my aunt tells the
story all the time. She was like, girl, I don't
see how you hear mm. With the amount of drugs

(15:39):
and stuff in her system, there's no way she should
have been able to carry you. And when the doctors,
I guess when they do whatever they do, came and
told her she was pregnant, she basically was like, what
you mean? You know? And so they told her that
it would be a fifty to fifty chance if I
made it, and if I did make it, I would
be severely retarded. So nine months come, ain't nothing wrong

(16:03):
with me. I got everything God gave to me that
I'm supposed to have. So she named your miracle, and
she didn't know if it was a boy or girl.
So that's why I have a boy and a girl.
So my my name is a miracle the month.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Look, she said, I'm sticking away.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
She talked my aunt that whether it's a girl or boy,
a miracle was gonna be that night. So it's a
miracle demon for boy, a miracle Shanta. So that's why
now a miracle de man Shanta, which is weird, but.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
And then it's evident now just from you explaining your name,
how you got your name, and then the trajectory that
God has taking you on and has taken you on,
you got a purpose, purpose, a huge purpose. Listen, So
you are a chef. This before we get to a
little too deep. We're not gonna be service surface, but
we're not gonna be deep deep, but we're gonna get

(16:56):
a little deep. You are a chef and spillers. I'm
not a seafoody. She made some pasta salad. She had
the seafood and then the regular like it was casual,
it was chicken, and then one with seafood, and so
I had the chicken. I asked her for a scoop
of chicken, and then she put the seafood stuff, and
I was like, I'm gonna get this to my husband.

(17:21):
That's all I can say. And then I had her
and I loved potatoes. She did some LOADI of baked potatoes,
her chicken. You can cook, girl, And I am something
like a cook. I'm not a chef, but I'm not
a cook for my family. And I was raised with
my grandmother's and my mama, So we.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Cooked, cooked, We cook.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
You know, I don't know if I'll sell my food cook,
but I cook. I don't get any complaints. So let
me let y'all know the spellers. But listen, how did
cooking come about in your life? Like? Where did that
come from? Has that always been a desire of yours?
Is it something that you went through that allowed you
that God revealed that this is what I need you

(18:03):
to do to escape. Tell me about the cooking. And
I want to know about the food truck. I remember
having a food truck.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
So cooking. My family is known for cooking from my
Grandma's known for catering. My aunties they sing, uncles, they
play instruments like we're known for that. So my auntie
is the cake lady. You want a man German chocolate cake,
butter roll, and of that she got you. My grandma
do any kind of soul food, scratched corn bread, you

(18:29):
name it. So my grandma, But my first grandma is
too grandmas. So my Grandma Ruth, which is my mom's mom,
would get up and cook when I lived with her
before she passed. So she always would make biscuits from scratch,
croaked salmon, croquet's, like anything she made was from scratch.
So I always saw in the kitchen like she went

(18:50):
in the backyard and grabbed a chicken, rang his neck,
put it in the house garden like I've always been around.
And then when I moved to my dad's side of
the family, it's all you see. Everybody used to be
at my grandma house cooking, all my uncle's cooking. They'll
go outside kill a rabbit or whatever they're coming in there.
So that's all I know. She cater for everybody. She

(19:12):
always cooked for the churches or somebody wearing or that's
just what they do. And so I've always been around there.
And so once I got up in age, I started
really experimenting with like raymon noodles and stuff. That was
my thing. I used to hook the raymon noodles up
with the meat and sausages and little stuff, you know,
And I just like cooking, so I would buy my

(19:34):
own food and just go in there, you know, do
little things. And then when I got married, I just
just took off. It was just something that I just
became so passionate about, so, you know, becoming. I'm really
self taught myself, but I was gifted, you know what
I'm saying, Like I haven yeah, like I have, I
can smell certain spices, things like my palate is different.

(19:56):
It's just was in me. And so I just it
just took over me, cooking and singing.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
And that's what I was gonna get into. And it's
crazy because we have so much in common, like literally
literally both sides. My daddy's side was known for the singing.
My mama's side we cooked. We're gonna cook half fun.
Daddy side, we're gonna cook half fun and sing every
hunter either playing instrument or sing. I had an aunt

(20:24):
that was the cake lady. I ain't Shirley. Raised in peace. Baby,
you want a bad corme, you know, I ain't Blanches.
She was a cook made she rest in peace. And
I ain't a maid the Green Lady when I say
everybody and they got it from there. Mama, my grandmama,
my papa both. I remember being in the country one time,
girl seeing him, I mean skin a, howg hang him up?

(20:48):
And baby the most traumatic, Like I literally, yes, I
talked my day. I don't want to come in no more,
like you can't tell me he ain't gonna do that
to me. But I come from that. And then we
sing too, And I need you to tell me about
that because I heard you at mood Swings. I think
Michael was trying to get you to sing back up
for something and I was walking to the bathroom or something,

(21:10):
and I was like, oh, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
Since me cooking and singing, I've been singing my whole life.
I don't even know how I started singing, but I
know when I lived with my mom's side of the family,
they always we went to church all the time, and
she was adamant about going to that choir practice. Yes, ma'am,

(21:36):
I don't even know when I started actually just even
lead songs, but I know it started there in Tupelo, Mississippi,
from my aunt Liz. I think the first time she
heard me sing she said, and she says to this
day and I'm forty years off. She said, it's something.
Oh your Mikle, I've seen it since she was a
little girl. But they used to make me lead Songsildren's
quiring people be like, oh, I'm just saying the people.

(22:01):
Then it went from me singing on the radio. They
would record us and put us on the radio. Yeah.
And so when I ended up leaving from there and
moving down to can Mississippi, like I said, my family
sing so of course at the church again, you don't
need this song. I'm gonna whoop your butt, you know
what I'm saying. So I started singing in the choir there.

(22:23):
I was in choiring school. And then even when I
was in Tupelo, Mississippi, I was in the show choir,
and you know, we would go and perform at these competitions.
And I remember the night I sung Whitney Houston, I
Will Always Love You Baby. I think I was in
the sixth seventh grade standing ovation. I didn't read little Body, Yeah,

(22:46):
like I didn't my not to, you know, not being
racist or not, but my white he was a white
music teacher. He was like, girl, you would be all me,
you you got something. I was like, yeah, you always
tell me you're so special that there's a soul in
your voice. You know what I'm saying. Tell me that
all the time. And he pushed me to sing even
when I got down here, Like I said, I ain't
want to because I don't really like to be before

(23:08):
people like that. I'm like a background person. But God
always has a way.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
I was just about to say that, you know, to
the front, and we can't get in the way of
what his his doing. You know. I'm like that at
my church. I've always been a singer, but I would
prefer to just sing in the background. You know. I
tell me and Jay he last and me, girl, you
drives the song. I'd be like, boy, I'm the baddest
background singer.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
I know.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Baby, I'm gonna put a rug on the background, but
it's going to be some people that's gonna say, hey,
I need you to sing this, so I need you
to leave this. And as bad as I don't be
wanting to one of my mentors, massa sergeant that go
to my church, I sang Sunday and she was like,
you bless me, she said. I was like Massasage I
didn't want to. I did not want to. She said,
get it off of a little That's how she let

(23:53):
me get it out. And why girl the mag Oh,
we gotta get into that. Okay, okay, we bad to
get into it right now. So yeah, start. I don't
even know where to start because I literally don't even
have no more notes. I just got my encouragement notes.
But the rest, it's for you to give us the story,

(24:13):
and I'll just let the spillers kind of be prepared.
But America has an amazing story, from the marriage, the children,
her life, and I'm just gonna let her get into it, y'all.
So I want you to tell us even some of
the little the you know, the nuances that led you

(24:33):
up to meeting your husband and how that transpired and
all of that good stuff. So you start where you
want to start.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Start at the beginning. Like I said, my mom didn't
even know she was even pregnant with me. My mom
ended up getting murdered two years after her girlfriend stabbed
in the led to death.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
So you really didn't even get to meet.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
Even looked like my right hand to God. I didn't
get a picture of my mom till the night of
my graduation and it's a picture of me sitting in
her left. I never knew what my mama looked like.
Nobody ever brought pictures up about.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
Her from hurt. Do you think it was like from hurt,
like didn't want to talk about it, like.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Hearing the stories from how you know it happened. My
family was after go kill this woman?

Speaker 1 (25:21):
Were hurt?

Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah, they was very devastated. And you know, I was
told she had just graduated from nursing school. My dad
actually said that they were supposed to be getting married
that Saturday. So you know, the enemy they just came in,
they got into it whatever or whatever the situation.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
And it was one of her good friends or yeah, when.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
Her friend girls killed her. Now my mom, like they said,
she's like six feet tall. It's a collar gila monster.
She was a big girl. Big yes, Violet, big, big
printed something. They Sayah, I don't I guess maybe the
woman felt like that was the only way she could
defend herself or whatever. I don't know. I just know
my mama was gone. And so once my mom died,

(26:02):
my grandma, her mom, her mom took care of us,
and she was an alcoholic.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
How many of y'all work was it was three of us.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
My other brother died, so when then, now my other
brother's dead as well, I'm gonna get into that too.
So when she died, my grandma got us. Now, my
grandma was an alcoholic. She's gonna get a bed in morning,
put the coffee cup.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
Drinking and it ain't coffee, but that was her daily routine.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
You know. She would get up, drink, layout on the
couch or whatever. She's gonna take care of business. Now,
she wasn't a woman that was a church woman. None
in here. It was a lot of fighting going on
in the home, arguing because I had uncles and auntie
that was on drugs, doing crazy stuff. So it was
a I had kind of like a chaotic home situation.

(26:46):
But one thing I can say about my grandma, she
took I don't want to cuss, but damn good.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
Care and it's a blessing.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
Yeah she did. I can honestly say that to the
day that she died, you know what I'm saying. So
once she died, I transitioned to my uncle. I was
in the third grade at the time. Yeah, and I
knew she had passed because when I came home off
the van. Cars was everywhere in the first time, I said,
my grandma diad because she was in the hospital sick.
I think she had bladder cancer or something something. She

(27:13):
was sick, so I knew cars was everywhere. So I
got out the van. I'm like, yeah, and I remember
my uncle coming into her room because my grandma had
a waterbed.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
On a waterbed. You asked the question your people.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
So I remember sitting in that room on that waterbed,
and he my uncles just don't care. He is not
a loving man. No, she'll lunt. He's just who he is.
He said, you can come stay with me, or you
can take your ass to Foster, no choice. Yeah, that's
how he That's just who he is. And so my
brother I looked at my brother, asked my brother what

(27:48):
he want.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
I want to go?

Speaker 2 (27:49):
Uncle Flo said, so I'm going with my brother still
and protect my You know that's my brother.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Are you the oldest, I'm the.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Oldest all my siblings. Okay, So we ended up moving
to Tupelo, got up there. It wasn't just a bad situation,
but they wanted my brother from the moment that my
mama had him. They wanted him, so he was already
like my son. They never treated me like their other child,

(28:17):
saying I'm there, but I never, to me felt treated
like everybody else in the household. So I kind of
kept to myself a little bit. I was shut down.
They put me in counseling because I couldn't. I just
was not an active verbal look, you know, enough to
communicate what was going on. It. But I was suicideal

(28:38):
had all type of thos. So I was in there, yes,
because I seen so much, I mean, aunties and my
uncle getting a needle trying to infect my auntie with
HIV because he had it. I'm seeing my auntie and
her baby daddy knocking while she's pregnant. Like, I've seen
a lot of stuff, a lot of you know, drama, trauma.

(28:59):
You know. It was a lot going on, and so Dalan,
I always felt like I didn't belong or I wasn't
accepted because I was different. I've always been different, you
know what I'm saying. And so being in Tupelo, my
brother was favorite. You got whatever you wanted, whatever you
want it, there was they son. I was never treated

(29:19):
that way. I'm not saying that they didn't love me. Right,
but absolutely, and I've always felt And my auntie, I
think I was like twenty some years old. We was
coming from a funeral and she told me, she said,
I'll never consider you as my child. I've never forgot
Yeah she did. She said, oh, that's just how she felt,
but she considered. Yeah, she said, I consider him as

(29:42):
my son and I and I had to take that
and swallow it. I've never forgotten it. It affected me
to the depths of my soul because I'm still being rejected.
So I've always kind of dealt with that. And then
I went through so much they're not being able to
lock in with them. I started writing letters and making
up stuff to get kicked out. So they end up

(30:04):
shipping me to my my dad's mom. So my uncle
packed up all my stuff one weekend because he had drill,
took me to my grandma house, said all my stuff,
I said, you can have the bitch. How old were
you I was in the seventh grade, sixth grade something
like that. Yeah, he did. I'll never forget that.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
And what was your brother?

Speaker 2 (30:24):
He was still in Tupelo.

Speaker 1 (30:26):
So did he did he feel away or.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
I mean he don't, he didn't know he can't understand. Okay,
so it's like he here, but he's getting the love
to affection.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
Yeah, so.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
You come from Yeah, so I get over here to
my grandma's side. Now, my grandma was always been sickly.
She deal with cancer, you know, all type of things.
My grandmother raised her baby. She started having children at fourteen.
She tied. Grandma tacked. You know what I'm saying. So
my grandma was like, graduate from school, don't get pregnant.
That was her conversation. You know what I'm saying. She

(30:58):
wasn't a real lovely type person. I went through a
lot on that side of the family, a lot of
verbal abuse. I wasn't accepted on that side either. I
never felt he was in Cleveland, Ohio. Once my mom
got murdered, he left.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
He couldn't.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Handily and I get it, and I asked my dad.
I said, why did you leave me? And this was
his response, he said, I had to leave my life.
I never forget my thirtieth birthday sitting on the toilet
because I was getting counseling from my spiritual father. Because
I dealt with it. I said, why why nobody never
wanted me? Why have I always been pushed off, and

(31:37):
he was like, you gotta forgive your dad. You got
to let it go. You need to have a conversation.
So I remember calling him on my thirty birthday. I
was sitting on the toilet, called my daddy and I
just told him. I said, I don't want to hold
this in my heart anymore, but I just want to
know why did you leave me? Because I went through
so much. You know what I'm saying. I've had cousins
trying to mess with me. I've been touched on inappropriately.

(31:58):
I left home at sixteen, sleeping around with older guys.
I have done some crazy, crazy stuff. I've had guns
put to my head. I was taking out into a
corn field with a gun put to my head, buller
with a drug dealer ten years older than me. I'm seventeen,
twenty seven, crazy stuff, pecked all my clothes up, moved

(32:20):
in with a girl, doing whatever, being on both sides,
men and women, you name it. I have done it, sixteen, seventeen,
eighteen years old, out there doing it, passing it out
like now, ladies, you get a piece, you get a piece,
you want one? Two? Come on, I'm telling them. I
know I'm telling you, but and that that happens when

(32:44):
you want to be a sitting looking for love. Who
could I hold on to her my identity. Your identity
comes from your father. He's the one that's supposed to
cultivate who you are as a person. I didn't have that,
so I was looking for There was a vote.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
Yeah, a huge voy because you didn't have it not
only from your mother and your father, but you didn't
have it from the paternal side of the family.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
And like I said, I'm not gonna say they didn't
love me, but they didn't know how to what's the word.

Speaker 1 (33:14):
Love you part? They didn't know? Yeah, they didn't.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
I didn't As a child. I didn't know how to
communicate what I was feeling properly. But I never felt
like I've belong I've always felt like I was different.
I've never and I'm forty years old.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
I still deal with it because as children, we don't
grow up knowing that we're supposed to be loved. We
don't grow up knowing how we're supposed to be loved
or treated until, of course, we become of age. When
it's natural. You know you're good, you know what I'm saying.
But when it's not natural. Or when you're going through
some stuff that's not normal, then the missing pieces you're
started looking for everywhere.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
And then that's what I did. I was foreigner, k but.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
I want to know, like when your daddy said he
had to live his life the audacity for me? But
like how did he say it? Was he or he
was like? Girl was like at that time?

Speaker 2 (34:08):
He said I had to he had to live his
own life.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
She goes, but you your responsibility are your children.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
I asked him that too, I said, but why leave me?
He kept saying I had to live my life. And
I had to accept that answer because that was his truth.
You know what I'm saying, and that hurted me even
like really, I'm your first born child. Yes, look just
like come on look when I say, look like this man,

(34:35):
I looked like this man, I'm his daughter the thousand?
Was it your first child? You leave and I'm sitting
up here and I asked him, I said, do you
you don't really know what I went through? I said,
do you know how broken and how angry I've been,
how I've done crazy stuff? Because I want to feel
accepted by a man, a father, and so that I

(34:56):
think that would cause me to get into a bad relationship.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Absolutely, Daddy issues Daddy big time.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
What's wrong exactly? So I'm getting I'm getting beat on
in relationships. I'm having to fight negroes. You know what
I'm saying. I want to be controlled. Like all type
of crazy stuff went on. You know what I'm saying,
but that I was empty. I wanted that I needed
to be nurtured. I needed to know that I was protected,
and I never felt that even being even being married,

(35:25):
I didn't feel protected or covered. Oh wow, because he
was compromised with different people, family members, relate, different relationships
was more important than me. We will arguing about that
a lot. I'm like, but I'm your wife, I come first,
God me order. They never went that way. So I've
never had that. And so that's why even now when
me being divorced, I'm like, do I want to be

(35:47):
married again? Because it's like, am I gonna ever get
that covering, that protection, that that comfort of knowing somebody
got me and I and I desire it when I'm
afraid too, because I don't want to go through feeling
that feeling again, right right, So that's why I said
experiencing that in childhood. Then marriage and messed me up

(36:10):
big time. Messing me up.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Okay, girl, when I say, I'm just lost for words
because I you've shared a lot, but this is a lot,
and I know it's a lot, right, And it's a lot.
More so, is your father still living?

Speaker 2 (36:30):
He's still living.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
How is the relationship now?

Speaker 2 (36:32):
We still don't have one. I've reached out to my
daddy several times before I moved here. I was living
in Jackson before I moved originally, then I was staying
in Jackson. I had went about my first house, three
bedroom house too bad, laid it out. He was like,
you wanted to come down and stay, girl. I went
and decorated my whole extra bedroom for this man. I

(36:53):
don't went about TVs come for the sex. I had
laid it out. When it picked them up from the airport,
He's like, well, I want. We have land in Mississippi's
called but we have our own road which is called
dot your road. So we got acres and acres of
laying horses, all that type of little family land that
they go down there. They kick it up on the tree,
you know, you sit up on the trail, kick it
on the porch. Yeah, So I dropped them off with

(37:14):
what we call it the end is what they call it,
which is a daddy en roll. But still he would
go out there. He was like, I'm gonna sit out
here kick it with, you know, my daddy, cause my
granddaddy was still alive at the time. He was down
there with his daddy. He was like, I'm calling people like,
y'all see my daddy, Like you know, oh, he gone
up up there sixteen. So when they said he went
up sixteen, I knew they were saying he's gone with

(37:36):
my granddaddy up in the country. So I'm like, how
you gonna go all the way up here in the
deck woods. And I just set up here and got
your room together. I had my brand new plush tiles.
You touch it and it bounced back them.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Come on there.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
I made sure that room smelled good, like it was
inviting for him. Yeah, And he didn't come out one day,
was here whole week.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
So just wanted you to pick him up from the
airport and.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
Didn't even tell me when he left to get back
on the plane. I'm pissed, cry to my ex husband.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
So were you calling him? And the and he wasn't answering,
didn't care.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
Well, I'm down here doing it. I said, okay, but Daddy,
he's supposed to send the time with me, and it
just didn't happen. So, you know, I tried that time
he came over seq with cancer. I said, well, Daddy,
come live with me. I'll take care of you. No, no, no, no,
no whatever. Never would come. Even though he was living
with a woman he called her his wife. He was
she was not his wife. They just come and lost.

(38:37):
I was like with Daddy, you know, I'm the oldest.
Let you know, because he wasn't in a good situation.
It was a lot of arguing, fussy children, hagging crazy
my sister buy a polo, she busting willdnessn't want to
kill everybody, brother, It was a lot going on.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
So he wanted to be with the insanity and staff.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
So he was there with my other siblings and I
think it's like five or six more than children. Yeah,
And so I'm sitting there like, well, Daddy, I'm here.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Nothing, he's still sick. I talked to my daddy probably
three or four months ago, the last conversation we had
to actually FaceTime him. I ain't even know. It's all nomboy.
I had to get it from my sister just to
see him, you know, And he was like ninety some
pounds sick. We cancer. I don't know how he doing
right now.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
So the siblings that he has, how is your relationship?

Speaker 2 (39:24):
I don't know him. I mean they could come here
right now. I know you more than I know them.
We don't talk. No, we ain't. Never grew up together,
no spending time, no kicking it like sister, we're gonna
meet here. Brothers. No, it's never been like that. I
can't tell you nothing about them. And I only know

(39:45):
one on birthday cause it's Christmas.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
Oh wow, I can't.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
Tell you, baby, because we don't. It's just never been
that way. I barely know they they real names. Wow, Yeah,
we don't have that.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
So your siblings that you share with your mother, what's
the status of y'all relationship?

Speaker 2 (40:00):
They're deceased. Both both brothers are dead now. My other
brother he died a little bit after birth, the one
that was after me, and then my other brother died.
I think it was like two. The favorite, yes, he
died two three years ago from he had a motorcycle
accident and I think he had broke his pelvic bone
and some femur or some whatever. So they ended up

(40:21):
going into surgery. And at that time, me and my
brother wasn't even talking. We had got a tour about
Donald Trump, oh Lord, and about my church. It was
going off you Donald Trump lover. I said, I'm not
a Donald Trump like. He was just going off of
by stuff. And you in a cult and you didn't
you believe like this? I ain't, like I'm trying to
because at that time, my brother has always been in

(40:43):
the streets, wild drug dealer, Like he'll fight the police.
But my brother don't go if I call him ready, yes, yeah, protector, Yeah,
he ain't scared of nothing. Yeah, my brother wig. And
so I was telling him then because I was having
dreams of my brother died. Was to god. I was
having a dream and I remember calling him. I said, deanger,
you gotta get out them streets. He's like, look suss,

(41:06):
we all gonna die. You know that mentality? You know
what I'm saying. I said, brod, I can having his
dream And you know me, when I get the dreaming
by son, it's on me. I had a dream for
a whole year then I get the phone call that
he had the motorcycle accident, and I told my auntie
and she'll tell you on the phone. I said. She's like, well,
we praying and we gonna believe. I said, you can

(41:26):
pray all you want to. My brother is not gonna
make it. Oh, well, I told him, because I know
what God shown me. Yeah, oh shun dow. But I
know what my what God showed me because the dreams
he never he never made it. Yeah. So he went
into She said, well I don't receive it. I ain't
gonna believe. I said, you don't have to. But I
know when God tell me something because I know the
prophetic gift that I have. If I tell you something,

(41:47):
you can bank on it for show for show. And
so I would say peace because I knew. I knew.
I ain't cry, I ain't feel no top of it
because God had me telling me, and I was telling
my ex husband every time I would wake up, I
have a dream. I said, why I keep dreaming about
my brother? I said, something ain't right. For a year,
any type of accident you could think of, I'm dreaming

(42:08):
it about my brother. And he never came up out her.
He went into surgery. He came out. I think they
moved him in the bed try to, you know, reposition him,
and he had a massive heart attack through a block
clock and he was gone, oh wow. And I remember
before he went into the surgery, my Auntie called because
he couldn't talk because they had them with tools and stuff.
And I told him, I love you. I asked him

(42:30):
to forgive me. You know what I'm saying, because we
hadn't been talking, and so I was like, I love you.
But I knew the fate because God had already's own.
And I remember, just like with my uncle Bryce, he
started coming back around. And usually when people in the
transition or somethbody to happen, people those people come around me.
And I remember my uncle Bryce just start popping up
at my job. I was working at pizza and he said,

(42:50):
what you doing, Nudy. That's my nickname, Duddy, and he
was just popping up, popping up on him see me
out of time. He'd actually live like two three blocks
away from me. When I was standing in Jackson, and
I remember having his dream that it wasn't him though
in the dream it was the pastor's son got shot
in the chest and he fell in the ditch. And
I kept having that dream. I said, why am I

(43:11):
having these dreams like this? And I remember calling my
first lady telling her I said I had this dream.
She said, well, I don't think that's my son, she said,
because God would have told me. She said, I'm a
prayer about it. And she said, I want you to
pray too. For like maybe two three weeks, we were
praying with people come, we came, they came to my house,
was praying different women of God because it was just
wouldn't stop. And I remember was getting out of church

(43:32):
on a Sunday, I get the phone call from my
Auntie said they found your uncle Bryce dead in the
ditch and been shot and his god Daddy was the
one that killed him. But I had been having that
dream and I knew somebody was finna die. Just you
know what I'm saying, God, and then show me the
exact face. But when my brother it was clear, I
knew it. I couldn't shake it. I said, it's gonna happen.

(43:54):
And God was giving me peace. But I was warning
my brother pride to that my brother could play instruments,
boy can sing, He could cut hair, smart. Did you
hear this boy was taking college courses in high school?

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Just chose the street light.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Chose the streetlight.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
And and you think about the trauma too, because just
like you were experiencing that trauma, he probably was dealing
with trauma to not ever meeting his mama and him
And yeah, we look wedn't his dad was, And that's
almost even worse, you know, he did.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Deal with that. And I remember us talking about that
one time because the guy that they were saying supposed
to when his dad. I was like, take the DNA
test because honestly, he looked like the dude tall, like
mo like, I'm like, it's a possibility, just but he
never took the test. And so the reason why I
was on my brother so hard about getting out the
streets because when I was in the streets, I was
having dreams of my own funeral. I remember telling me

(44:52):
that I was having dreams of my own friend. I've
seen the casket were blue, I had a roller wrap.
They had put me away nice I'm talking about. Grandma
was scream I'm seeing it in the church. She on
the front road screaming, hooping the holland my auntie, I'm
seeing this in the church, having dreams like this. And
I remember one day that's when I was messing with
the drug dealer, my auntie came to my job. She said, Miracle,

(45:13):
if you don't get out of these streets, were gonna
bury you next. And didn't know the same day that
she came up there, the drug dealer I was going
with his girlfriend came up there to shoot me. And
the only reason why that girl done shoot me my
manager and I thank God for him to this day. Mchilly,
I was handing the pieza after drive through window. McKinley
ran up, grab and pushed out the door, and I

(45:34):
turned around. I didn't know what was going on, and
I was pregnant at that time with my first son.
Didn't even know I was supposed to be dead that day,
but my grandma would be up praying for me. My
auntie was sick with cancer on her death bed crying
crying out to God the same me and I remember
she came up there and I ain't been a church,

(45:55):
and I don't know how long girl was out at home.
I wanna stud buy no God. She came to my
job and she was like, miracle. We got a revival
coming up. I want you to come. I was like,
no church, I ain't been a church. But I remember
I said all right. She kept begging me, kept begging.
I said, all right, I'm gonna go. So when I
got paid on a Tuesday, I went and got me
a little bad, little two piece pants from KTOK, got

(46:18):
my hair come on now, went and got my hair done.
I said, okay, I'm gonna go. And I remember going
and at that time I was like, man, I don't
feel right sending this church because they speaking and I
and you know, the like right now, girl, I go
in the church, sit on their pew. I'm just looking
like I'm ready to go.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
Get this.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
Oh you know the Pentecostal lands rolling on the floor.
You ain't coming up out of that part. So I'm
sitting there and this woman I never forget this woman,
Daisy smith Patrick, call me up. She said, come here, baby.
I did this who She said, come here baby. I

(46:58):
was like, God and my untie, come on girl. They
they was like, come on up here. Went out there.
The woman had a red and white preaching roll on.
She said, the devil want to kill you, he want
to sip you. It's weak never forgot what she said.
That woman prophesied to me about the reason why my
mama died. She prophesied about the dude I was messing with.

(47:19):
She even prophesied about the night the nigga put the
gun to my head. The woman prophesied telling me what happened.
She telling me the call of God, that's all my life,
telling me that if I don't get out them streets,
they gonna bury me. Yes, she said, baby, you called
to preach. She said, I see a lot of older
women following you. Now, I'm but eighteen seventeen, nineteen, I

(47:41):
have probably nineteen and eighteen something like that. At that time,
seventeen whatever it was, I was young still. And she
told me, she said, it's gonna be a lot of
older women gonna follow you. She said, I see you
preaching in big churches like this woman, telling me. I
ain't never forgot what the woman saying. He that woman
unzipped that red and white preaching rowe put it on me.
I lost it, rolling on the floor because then't nobody know. Yeah,

(48:09):
until after that night that I was, I was having
dreams on me preaching, and it was a xact red
and white robe. That that woman had on That's why
I lost it. Nobody knew. I hadn't having that dream
for weeks, and I had long, pretty hair. I've always
desired long hair. I'm preaching and we I'm in this
big church and I remember waving my hand and people

(48:29):
was falling out. I didn't tell nobody about that dream
until after that night. I said, y'all, I don't even understand.
She said, maybe you're gonna preach, you gonna minister. She said,
a lot of people ain't gonna like you because the
annointing is on your life. Yeah, she's telling me this,
and it's always been nobody like me. Now I don't
be knowing that. I know, but it ain't me. It's
the anointing. Yeah, and I can't help it. But that

(48:51):
woman told me that. She said, maybe you're gonna preach,
You're gonna teach, you gonna prophesy. And I was like, man,
everything my auntie had been telling me that's on me.
I was like, I don't want to do that.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
And that's not the only person to tell you. At
some point you gotta be like, okay, God, yeah, so
where are you a ministry now?

Speaker 2 (49:08):
If you ask, Okay, girl shifting.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
And then yeah and then shift back. Yeah, be cause
we got to get to the husband part so we
can wrap it up.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Okay. So I'm I went through a lot of church hurt. Okay,
so I'm trying to get myself back into that. And
I know God been dealing with me. I've had probably
the last year, people that don't even know walk up
to me. I went to wing stop, buy some chicken wings. Now,
good little ten piece with the try. This young boy

(49:40):
sitting at the table kept staring at me. I'm like,
why this boy looking at me? He said, you're a minister.
Said I just can't get away. He said, you look
like it. This boy couldn't have been no more nineteen
twenty years old. Oh wow. And I ain't even have
on no churchy churchy dress any now. Yeah. And it's
just like even at my job that God was like, miracle,

(50:02):
why are you playing? I said, what you're talking about?
This came on to me one day while you playing.
He said, God says time for you to go forth.
You've been running too long. And I'm just like, ugh,
I can't get away from this. Everywhere it was like
for month, just everybody come to me you need to
be singing, you need to be doing this. It's time
you share your testimon It Patrice at my job, she

(50:22):
had sent me down. We did a whole little plan.
You're gonna do this. You finished, start speaking, you finish start.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
Yeah, I've started.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
I've gotten my business cards for a miracle feek where
I'll be going out sharing my testimony. And then I
developed the non profit, The Three Legged Stool deals with
the home, the school, in the church where we're coming
in to help assist the parent. I also we'll be

(50:49):
dealing with traumatic experiences. And I'm doing that in honor
of my daughter, who was right. So we'll have micro schools.
We're gonna develop a micro Christian micros.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Know somebody that was not she just has a micro
studies school, but keep us.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
We're developing that. We're going to be developing an after
school program, a culinary program. We're gonna do things within
the arts, therapeutic arts people. I'm going to offer classes
for mothers. We're gonna teach what the five things at
home should be, structure of a home, whatever. We're going
to talk about the silly woman, the foolish woman, the
wise one, come out women don't know that part, but

(51:25):
I haven't been through it.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yeah, and you have me. Yeah, you're definitely equipped for
everything you just.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
Said, being a mother of thirteen. So yeah, yeah, so
and then only that, we're gonna have virtuous touch being
here from the inside. It's going to be an entity
under the three legga school just for young girls. Yeah,
mentor them.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
We have counseling services, you know, all that type of
stuff going on to to help those girls that don't
have that mentorship or a safe haven. Yes, you know,
for to come tell what has went on.

Speaker 1 (51:57):
Exactly, because and that's the thing I think a lot
of our young girls struggle with nowadays. I'm an interventionist.
I'm reading interventionist by trade, but working with kids, I've
learned that a lot of them don't have a safe haven.
Girl I sixth, seventh and eighth grade. I done have
children bring stuff to me. As a mandated reporter, I
do have to report certain things. But look, I'm gonna

(52:21):
touch and pray, you know what I'm saying. So I'm
reporting it because I'm mandated to do so, but I'm
also gonna pray and I'm gonna be there for you.
The best way that I can. But they don't have
a safe haven, Like they don't trust nobody at all,
and it's like scary, you.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
And a lot of people don't. And I wasn't unfortunate
to not have it, you know, I was blessed to
have it, and I thank God for But I still
became a young woman experiencing things, had to learn some
things on my own, had to go to therapy, and
a lot of things that I've experienced, not from the
way I was raised or anything like that, is because
of my life choices. I try to be there and

(52:59):
support my do order the best way that I can,
you know what I'm saying. We were talking about that
a few weeks ago. She's seventeen, but she was like, Mama,
you've had moments to where you've cried and you wanted
to be in and let stuff out and blah blah blah.
She's like, stop always telling me go pray or talk
to God, blah blah. At the moment, let me experience
want tom experiencing. I'm gonna talk to the Lord. He
knows my heart. But I'm like, but I don't want
you to forget that you know what I'm saying. I

(53:20):
don't try to be holier than vou, but I want
you to experience those feelings so that you can know
how it feels and you can know how to deal
with it and you can have the right tools to
handle it. But I still, at the end of the day,
want you to know. You know what I'm saying, like
where your help comes from? Period. Okay, So we're gonna
wrap this thing up. But before we wrap it up,
I need a few minutes of this husband and this

(53:43):
story and the children and Indy was telling us where
you are now, because I feel like even everything that
you've said from now, from earlier up until now, like
I already know some people gonna be messaging and gonna
be like, oh my god. And you're going to get
some people that's going to be reaching out so that
you can come speak at some women's events, women events

(54:04):
and all and stuff. So get ready for it. But
tell us just about your what changed your heart for
ministry because you said you had church art and I
know some of that comes too from the experiences with
their husband who was a pastor and all of that.
Can you tell us a little bit about Okay.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
So the church hurt started really when I was younger.
Then when we before we moved here to church, we
came from my husband has all ex husband has always
been favored in church, so it was always pastor Ross,
pastor Ross, pastor Ross, but forget sister Ross. So I
went through a lot of that, and even when we

(54:41):
moved here, they treated me differently in ministry. So the
night that I got that phone call of him raping
my daughter was actually a work.

Speaker 1 (54:52):
Okay, So how many kids do y'all have? We have
thirteen children and all of them are biologically his breaking down,
so technical, I've given birth to sixteen children.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
He had two. I had to everybody else.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
Okay, we was together, Yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
So oh that's a lot of cheer.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Yeah, but I've given you love the baby, bab I
don't know why I was first, I'm talking about you
further like our grandmoma and them was because people our
age don't have kids.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
And they got pregnant on every birth control.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
Oh my lord, I was just they were just men,
want no moment.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
Yeah. So we got we have thirteen children, and I
was working at a nursing home. He had had a
stroke like four or five months before this happened. So
I'm working sixteen hours, was paying all the bills, trying
to take care of everybody, just running myself raggedy. Plus
we had a food truck, so we had been doing

(55:51):
events like Christians for the Christian Basketball Association Tyson. We
was everywhere selling plates, doing pulling up the games like
name was really getting out there. It was called Ross
Tissery Eatery, so it was we had a big food truck.
We had converted a bread truck. Okay, so we was

(56:12):
doing that, but they stopped because he had a stroke.
So he was paralyzed partially paralyzed on the right side.
So at that time, like I said, everything was on me.
I'm running him back and forth to therapy, trying to
work at the nursing home, whatever whatever. So that night
I get a text from my step daughter saying I
need you to come home now, and yes, when I

(56:33):
raised yeah, So I said, what's going on? Says he's
sick because we were still having issues with his blood pressure,
and she said I need you to come home now.
So I'm calling house phone. Everybody got a phone, Nobody answering.
I'm like, what is going on? So then she texts
me again, come home now. I need you to come
home now. Still I'm texting what's going on now? I'm

(56:56):
working at the nursing homes and CNA. I can't abandon
right right. So finally my daughter, she was twelve at
the time, and this is she was twelve and his daughter, yes,
together has a robber call.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Zigg that's pretty thank you.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
It means the Lord's help. Come on. All of them
got biblical names. So she answered the phone Ma screaming.
Daddy Calil said, Daddy rape to her. I said what
she kept saying to Daddy rap was just just hysterical.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
Now it's Khalia, his by.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
He raised her as his biog.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
But this this is step chat and that's your baby,
your biological okay, And.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
She studied screaming. I said, Ziggie, what are you saying?
I'm like, what are you saying? Right, Daddy rape Color
just screaming. I said, I don't fin the kid is
I lost it? Yeah, because I said, I know this
man ain't touched my I'm talking at that time. I
don't want spiritual.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
Yeah, I went straight human.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
Yeah, Yeah, I lost it. So my uh a nurse
manager and all that was in the building. Hear me screaming, like,
what is you saying? I'm like he did what? Like
I'm going off? Yeah, I'm like this man and rake
my child. I said, Ziggy, are you sure? So I'm
texting my stepdaughter. Still ain't responding. I said, something is wrong.
So I run out the emergency exit door. Gone. The

(58:17):
other age say, everybody trying to give me like Miracle,
don't drive like this, I said, I'm gone. Maybe I
had that Honda cord on two wheels gone. I don't
even know how I got home that things. I pull
up in the yard. This nigro got my daughter, my
biological daughter and my stepdaughter on the front porch, both
of them crying. I get out the car. He come

(58:38):
running Down's a trail. What did you do? I said, trail,
what did you do? He immediately grabs me both arms like.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Hit me.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
He knew, Miracle, just come down, just come down. I'm
talking a grip me tight, took my keys like trail
knew what was finna happen? He knew, so he pulling
me up the stairs. He and sent me down and
it chir and I got this big God bless you
thick piece of wood right here, God bless you. I'm
study looking at like, okay, I'm on the edge of
the chair. I said, Trail, what did you do? He

(59:09):
still grabbing my arms and got on his knees. I said, Trail,
what did you do? I'm asking Khalil, what happened? Ramona?
What's going on? They weren't saying nothing, just boohoo and crying.
I'm talking about hysterically crying. I said, Trail, what did
you do? He looked me in my eyes, he said, Miroca,
I messed up. Next. I don't know. I don't even
know how I got loose. Maybe I grabbed that God bless.

Speaker 1 (59:29):
You and put a blessing on the baby.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
We fought from my porch to my basketball court. I
done told my scrubs. I had a quick weave weave
and it came out of my hair shoes over here.
But when I say we were fighting, yeah, knocking, I'd
have picked up a brick bussy's head like it was bad.
Somebody end up calling my spiritual father and my spiritual uncle.

(59:52):
They end up coming over there and getting him grabbing me.
I looked him in the face. I sapping to kill you,
I'm heading in the house to get my gun. Then
jumped on me so I couldn't even get I was
gonna blow his head off. I would have looked him
in the face. I said, I'm going to kill you.
I said, if you I don't want to say the
P word. I said, but if you wanted some pee, yeah,
I would have gave it to you. I said, you're
gonna rate my child. He took it like, why would

(01:00:13):
you do that? If you real? Kid? It wasn't me.
I missed up. That's how he kept saying. I messed up.
I love you, just all this my life is over,
just screaming and crying. Whatever is so? Like I said,
they threw me on the concrete because I'm adding me
trying to get in this house to get to this gun.
If I would have got to that gun, I'll probably
be in jail right now because I wasn't gonna stop shooting.

(01:00:33):
My mom was like, you finna die. You violating my
child on one thing that you know that happened to
me being violated, and I share with you, why.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Would you do this to my child? Right?

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Come on now? And so they give them or whatever
they take them away. My spirit. My special father gets him,
put him in the car. My spir uncle gets me.
He trying to talk to us. We're really trying to
calm me down. So my daughter took cout, my other daughter,
the one that got raped, to the bathroom because she
said she was her girl that went up her. But blood, yes,

(01:01:09):
blood and stuff was all down there. She was in pain.
So I got in the car and just took her
to the aint kind of ambly hands. I just went
straight to the hospital, so you know, when you get there,
you tell them what's going on. Police, everybody there. And
I didn't know they had this special room. I didn't know.

(01:01:32):
So they take us in the room, cameras coming down,
you know TVs. I'm like, when I say they swabbed
every inch of I couldn't take it. I had to
walk out. I couldn't handle it because I'm like, we're
really in this, this really happened. I'm hysterically crying my

(01:01:54):
spiritual father and them calling my spiritual uncle. We're gonna
get through this mirrorle we praying. I ain't trying to hear.
I want that nigga dad. And that's when my mind was,
I love God, I understand that, but my mind was
in the strip revenge made like I'm gonna get you. Yeah,
you hurt my daughter like this, you know what I'm saying.
And so social workers coming in there, she having to
tell what happened. I couldn't take it. I left about

(01:02:15):
the room again, I couldn't hear it. I couldn't. So then,
because she told them that she was feeling suicidal, that
she went to I had no longer no rights, So
they made me leave. They put this little suit you
know they put on you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
And I know this because as an educator you go
through certain professional developments that you can choose, and these
are some of the ones that I've chosen before.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Yes, so they put that on and there was like,
when it's wrongs, we're gonna get a transport it to
the facility. You cannot have her. And so she ended
up going to Methodists. She was down there for maybe
two three months. She gets satt she's triggered, she started
cutting herself arm, she tried to kill herself again, you
name it, tried to take pills. We were in therapy, therapy,

(01:03:04):
not working. Going into another facility.

Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
That's traumatic, that can take a lifetime.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
Being in the house, Yes, triggered her. Yes, I didn't
even sleep in my room. It happened in my bedroom.
I couldn't sleep in my room for probably two years.
I'm just and half the time I still don't sleeping there.
I done painted it a bout, a new bed, everything,
that room just I can't be in that room too long.

Speaker 1 (01:03:28):
So how is she now? How is she?

Speaker 2 (01:03:30):
She's nineteen now, she's still struggling. She recently ended up
moving out. She said, I just can't be here no more.
And I get it. Yeah, I totally understand that house
is a triggering. She was like. And then when I knew,
she started being up all night again, pacing and get scared. Yeah,
And I was like, yeah, this is too much. So

(01:03:51):
and then the process of dealing with the prosecutors that
was horrible.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
Because they make you relive it, like you gotta keep
answering the question.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
And not only that, they put you on investigation. Exactly.
They all at my job, popping up police officers. We
need your story again, I said, ma'am, i'maa said, work,
go ask sex people. I don't know. And I told
a woman, I said, if I knew that nigga was
touching my child, y'all have me locked up, and I
said record that makes sure you put that on record. Yeah,
because it ain't no way in the hell I'm gonna

(01:04:20):
sit up here as a mother unless somebody hurt my
child when I'd have been through crazy experiences, no waiting.
It was just so bad. Then you know, he ended up.
They end up coming to us talking about they want
to do a plea deal. But it was of course
they had to talk to my daughter. You know, see
how she felt about it. I was like, it's on
you whatever y'all want to do, because this happened to you.

(01:04:44):
I can't tell you. I feel like to me, I
feel like he should be.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
There for the rest of his right.

Speaker 2 (01:04:49):
But she was like, I'm thinking about my brothers and sisters.
They still neat their daddy. I get out, and she
still had a heart, still want to forgive me. So
they end up doing a plea deal where he got
thirty years in prison.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
So he's incarcerated and.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
Still incarcerated right now, but he can parole out in
eight years.

Speaker 1 (01:05:06):
Well he but he'll have that that tag attack parole
that or not he has a tag? How are you?

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
I'm better When it first happened. I was angry at
everybody because people, this is the crazy part. Now, this
is what I don't understand. He committed the act, but
I got the persecution by the church.

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
The church said, yes, you the first lame.

Speaker 2 (01:05:30):
They said it was my fault because I wasn't at home.
I should have been working. I want making sure my
husband was sating. So I said, that's a lie. I
would give it to my husband when I didn't even
want to her. I'm gonna do what you're gonna do,
because it wasn't gonna take come on rapt this on up,
so you don't even know what was going on. I
ain't never with it, I ain't with home from him.

(01:05:51):
He'll tag you that. But it was all this, it's
your fault. You you what you had her wearing, but
she permitted My daughter was still playing Barbara.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
Dolls at t And that's what people are doing, especially
church people, when we hear something or when they hear
something about somebody that they care for, they have on
this platform. It's like, let me persecute them or let
me blame them to you know, avoid having to really
confront who the real perpetrator is.

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
What was so crazy I went through hell, I had
to take parenting classes. I had to fight for my
own free yep.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
Cause it's almost like they act like like you, like
you're at fault.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
Yeah, that's what they did.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
But if I don't work, how my baby don't eat?

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
Exactly, I'm telling them everything fell on me. This man
had to strug. What do you expect me to do?
I still had to under my vows. He still was
my husband. I still had to take care of him
and my children. But nobody they didn't see that. So
it was my fault because I went at home, I
left him there. He'say, daddy, he been there. So it
was just a whole lot. Like I went through so
much where I felt suicidal at times, I wanted to

(01:06:54):
give up. I was depressed one even angry, won't to
fight everybody. I was finna go to the church and
whoop a couple of them. People was calling DH's line crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:07:05):
Stuff was going now the blaspheming, and again that's to
take the attention off surreal perpetrator. But what did you
do to heal from all of that? Like, I know
you were angry and for you, Okay, So.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
I have women at my job. They were calling me
some miracle. Let's go in the bathroom and for me.
My friends call me you okay, two three o'clock in
the morning on my mind, can't miracle? God put people
around me outside of the church that was there on
the girl and me and praying me and talking me through,
checking on me cause they knew it was tough. I

(01:07:40):
couldn't holler work some days on crying because I'm missing
my child. I can't get to it. I can only
talk to her some days. My other children going through
because now they saying we don't have a daddy. My
baby was all left that care saying I ain't got
no daddy.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
They calling me.

Speaker 2 (01:07:55):
I had to deal with that. Then I'm left with
thirteen children by myself that I gotta figure out now
how I'm gonna take care of him. So you know me,
I've been on my own since I was sixteen. I
don't give up. I'm going to go hustle.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
So that's where Miracle Soul Kitchen came from. I got
back at it. I got the selling the place, got
the hustling, catering, seeing and whatever. I had the new esthetician. Yeah,
I'm scrubbing faces waxing. You know, I was doing it
to make sure my children were straight. And I still
be hustled. I ain't gonna give up.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
Oh you can't.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
I may hurt, but when it come to them thirteen,
they're gonna always be straighted always. And then I and
then I'm living in an eight bedroom, four bathroom house.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
I got bill bills, got big bills, big and big
maths of come on, because we're not talking about one too.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
I ain't get no child support. And when he left,
he didn't help. He didn't buy for us financially like
he should have. He won, he was still living his life.
He felt like he wasn't even going to prison. He
really thought he wasn't going Yeah, and then in the
end with the church people and everybody who was saying
that he didn't do it, that my daughter h what's
the word, I seduced him, That's what they were saying.

(01:09:03):
But results came down.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
Okay, who and a judge don't play, So we gotta
wrap this thing up. You I just hate and I
only got so many many know because I can take this,
we're probably gonna have to do a part. But what
just quickly, what advice would you give to the single mother,
the mother that has the traumatic experience, the mother that

(01:09:30):
children has faced the traumatic experience. But you still gotta
be a mama. You still gotta be the support and
the everything that they need, you know, whether it's the
shoulder to cry on the bank, you gotta be that mama. Baby.
We know all about that because now the days that's
all each you even think we are a baby. But

(01:09:50):
that's either here nor there. What advice would you give
to the mama that's literally at a place where she's
just like I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:09:58):
The first thing I would say is cry and spare not,
spare not. Finally, maybe I used to send a little
toilet and cry to God on the floor. I said, God,
you gotta help me. And sometimes I ain't even have
a lot of words. Sometimes I couldn't call people, even
though I know they would answer. But in that in
that time, it was just me and him because only

(01:10:20):
He could help my thoughts, my hearts, my feelings, my emotions.
I had to really cry to God, didn't I had
to get therapy. I had to talk to a neutral
person who didn't know me but could evaluate the situation
and give me help. You know what I'm saying. So
I did that, and at the end of the day.

Speaker 1 (01:10:35):
I had to make time for me self care.

Speaker 2 (01:10:39):
Yeah right, So I started taking myself out or I
go walking, or I go sit in the restaurant just
for me, because it was so much on my plate.
And I had to pray, Lord give me the grace
to do this because a lot of women would have folded,
a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:10:54):
Of I'm talking about a paper tab balled up, folded,
not having a hug.

Speaker 2 (01:11:00):
Be not having a father, not having Okay, well, your
daddy gonna do it now, I'm finnly gonna do this.

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
I didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:11:04):
I didn't. I don't have any family, no brother, sisters, aunties.

Speaker 1 (01:11:09):
Uncles, everybody's in Mississippi, missie.

Speaker 2 (01:11:12):
So it was on me. So I'm ripping the running,
going here and taking care of this. Okay, I gotta
make grocries. This child need this, that child need it.
But God would raise up people to be a blessing.
I was just thinking about you. We just went in
the store, about your children, coats for the winner, or
people was bringing food to the house. God just started
raising people. One day I'm leaving from church, woman stopped me, said, babe,
here gona five hundred dollars check. God told me to
bless shit. It was times my bills. I had an

(01:11:35):
eight hundred dollar gas bill and I got a big house.
I'm like, Lord, I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
Pay this.

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
Ended up the bill came. I'm thinking, I said, I'm thinking,
it's a disconnect. Notice somebody had already paid.

Speaker 1 (01:11:48):
I'm now.

Speaker 2 (01:11:49):
God was working miracles, and I remember when my spiritual
uncle said, he said, a miracle, you gotta start acting
what your name is. You gotta blae leave that. You
are a walking manifestation of the power of God. Some
got the always happened for you. So in that season,
God showed me what a miracle really was. And not

(01:12:10):
only that. I ain't even sure this part. They thought
I had cancer when all this was going on. Yes,
they thought I had cancer. I just went two weeks
ago just to have two biopsies in the same week
for my breast and my service. They cut a piece
of my service. If thinking I got cancer, did it?

Speaker 1 (01:12:27):
Ain't nothing walk marriage?

Speaker 2 (01:12:29):
Come on, but I know how to pregnant that part,
that part. So it's always been stuff going on.

Speaker 1 (01:12:36):
Yeah, but God is always and that's what I say.
I posted a video earlier on Facebook. Quit worried about
the naysayers because at the end of the day God
will silence them. They gonna do what they do, but
I promise you they'll be silent that part. And I
said that to I said, think on things that are here,
doing what you're supposed to do for you. And once

(01:12:57):
you do that, baby, they gotta be quiet. I mean
even if the doctor say you got something and God
gonna tell you you don't.

Speaker 2 (01:13:04):
And I never believed that. Every time they would say,
well we think this, this is I'm like thinking thinking,
And on that part, I couldn't accept it when you accepted.

Speaker 1 (01:13:13):
That when it happens, And I said, I can't accept
it if he used.

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
Deliver me before the enemy tried to kill me, before
I even came after wom and you made it. Come on,
I got the belief.

Speaker 1 (01:13:23):
So now you think you're finna tell me something happening not.

Speaker 2 (01:13:25):
That's why I don't know. People think I'm crazy because
of how I talk.

Speaker 1 (01:13:28):
Now my faith.

Speaker 2 (01:13:29):
I just know where my faith is now. I haven't
seen him do too much. I was just about to say,
you don't seen him, do you?

Speaker 1 (01:13:37):
Breathing?

Speaker 2 (01:13:38):
At four months old, my daughter wasn't supposed to be here.
Ziggy stop breathing, had rs VEGGI. Then you know how
long my baby was with our oxygen. Ain't nothing wrong
with a praise dancer intercessor. At sixteen, my son I
delivered two of my children on the floor blad almost
bled to death. For one of them. I had to

(01:13:59):
have two bags blood, eight hour transfusion. I didn't seen
God do too much. Guns put to my head, beat
on drug. The nigga used to unhook stuff on my
car because didn't want me to go nowhere. I have
seen God standing at the door. I'm coming from church
church hit and hit me in the head and I'm
holding my baby in the cars in the car seat.

(01:14:21):
I almost fell on a glass table. I could have
been gone crazy stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:14:26):
But God, miracle.

Speaker 2 (01:14:32):
Baby. I can tell you.

Speaker 1 (01:14:34):
We're gonna bring you back. Absolutely, we have to bring
you back. And you sing I could do a little something. Yeah,
you want to close us out and give us something.

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
You fick.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
You off the.

Speaker 2 (01:15:02):
Haick you you long. I just want to think you
you long. I ain't gonna go ahead because I'm finish
trying to come home in don't killing.

Speaker 1 (01:15:25):
Spillers A miracle. Good it's been too good A miracle?
Who's spillers? This has been an episode and it either
it's either going to make you count your blessings and
realize how blessed you really are it's gonna humble you
because we are so quick to judge spillers, not knowing

(01:15:46):
what a person has endured or what they have been through.
Hopefully this episode gives you hope if you've experienced anything
like this. Prayer forly a miracle's testimony is a testament
that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Speaker 2 (01:16:02):
I want to base my.

Speaker 1 (01:16:03):
Words of encouragement from the scripture Isaiah first fifty three
and five. It reminds us that he was wounded for
our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement of
our peace was upon him, and by his stripes we
are healed. Fannie Lulhammer had one of the most heartbreaking

(01:16:24):
stories ever downe to humanity, and like the late Great Fanny,
there are so many other humans that experience what we
can say is inhumane, but instead of them letting it
stop them, they push through and become not only survivors,
but thrivers. Spillers. Your story is not the end. It's

(01:16:44):
how you construct the narrative that determines how it will end.
It's okay to sit in your pain, but don't sit
too long. Accept what has happened forgive yourself, the other person,
or the parties, find your purpose, and live the life
God has intended you to live. It's gonna take a

(01:17:05):
little digging, feelers, but I promise you it's worth it.
Thank y'all so much for joining me on this episode again.
I'm going to have a miracle to come back because
she has so much more to say and I want
us to be able to hear it. Okay, I love
you all so much and until next time. This is
Missus Wilson signing it out.