Redefining Sexual Energy

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Sexual energy might be the most misunderstood power we possess. In this raw, candid conversation, we pull back the curtain on the societal beliefs that have confused our relationship with our own sexual energy for generations.

Have you ever wondered why the most sexually confident people often achieve remarkable success in multiple areas of life? It's because they've mastered something most of us were never taught – how to control and direct their sexual energy as a manifestation tool. This episode reveals the truth behind Einstein's principle that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred or intensified, and how this applies to your sexual power.

We explore the dangerous misconception that links sex with love, unpacking how this belief leads to manipulation, confusion, and ultimately, heartbreak. "Love does not equal sex and sex does not equal love" becomes a powerful mantra as we examine how these separate energies can exist independently of each other.

For parents listening, we offer insights into teenagers' need for space to understand their own energetic frequencies without interference. Rather than fearing closed doors, we suggest viewing adolescence as a crucial period of energy discovery that deserves support and open communication.

The most liberating realization? Your sexual energy belongs solely to you—no one else can create it, control it, or take responsibility for it. When you reclaim ownership of this fundamental power, you stop expecting others to fulfill your needs or feeling obligated to fulfill theirs. This shift doesn't just improve your intimate relationships—it transforms your ability to manifest the life you truly desire.

Ready to break free from societal misconceptions and harness your sexual energy as the powerful force it's meant to be? This episode is your permission slip to start that journey.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Good morning everybody.
Welcome back to the SpiritualGrind.
We are here today.
We are existing in our energyof the day.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Good morning.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
There's the doctor in the house.
Can I get a doctor in the house?
We have a doctor in the house.
She's waving out the window ateverybody.
Good morning everybody.
We're glad you're listening tous and we appreciate it.

(01:01):
We have hit some majormilestones.
Yeah, for sure where ourwebsite, the website's getting
busier, our followers is gettingmore.
I mean, it's quite nice yeah,thank you all for listening and
we really do appreciate you.
And once we get to a thousandactually, actually I'm going to
throw it out there Once we getto 2,000 subscribers, we'll do

(01:23):
something crazy on the podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yeah, new thing that is out there and available is
you created my blogger account.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Yeah, yeah, dr Jenny's on blogger, and then we
have our website blog as welland in the process of creating
the newsletter, I started doingthat yesterday a little bit yeah
, so you can find all of therabbit hole articles that I sit
around and create, if you wantthe newsletter, go to
wwwthemerccentersorg andsubscribe, and I'll have that

(01:58):
mailer list out.
or you can do it on the saltytarot app store as well.
Um, at at the salty tarot dotmy Shopifycom, and subscribe
there and it'll all get there.
Everybody will.
That all goes to the samemailer address for me, so I'll
be able to send out a list.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
And what about the blogger?
How do you get to that?

Speaker 2 (02:16):
The blogger is uh well, it goes on numerous sites,
so it's on all the blog sites.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Well, I mean, how do they find it?

Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, you can Google search, Use the name and it'll
pop up Dr Jenny Emery.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
The blog will.
It'll pop up like the third onedown on the list, or you can go
to bloggercom.
It wasn't for me.
That's why I'm asking.
You can go to bloggercom aswell and look for what.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
For To the Edge and Back with Dr Jenny.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
To the Edge and Back.
Yeah, look for that title.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, that's the title of your podcast or, I'm
sorry, of your blog on there.
Okay, the title of your podcastis the Spiritual Ground.
You'll see it all linkedtogether.
I put it in the descriptionyour podcast and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
I see.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
But anyway.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
There's a couple articles on there.
I'm going to post a new one.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yep, our app is in process and we are so, so
excited about it.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, we have hired a company and man.
Are they making great progress?

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Literally in two days .
They had a complete proof ofconcept and they showed us on
video.
We have another meetingtomorrow.
We're doing meetings everyother day with them, so it's
going to be fun and the goal isto have it out for you guys by
October 31st.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, you know, and this might be a good opportunity
to plug them a little bit,because we've had a really good
experience with them, do you?

Speaker 2 (03:45):
agree, yes, and so we went down all this road.
I actually plan on putting outa YouTube video about this.
I went down all these roadstrying to create our app and
come to find out that all theselittle non-coding places and all
that stuff, they just don'twork.
And all that stuff, they justdon't work.
If you have any kind ofintricacy into your app or
detail into your app,specifically animations, they

(04:09):
don't support them.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
Well, and it just depends on what kind of app
you're creating.
I wouldn't go as far as to saythey don't work, right?
They?

Speaker 2 (04:21):
didn't work for us, because our app is….
I mean they're great businessmodels, like if you're going to
do like a… app is.
I mean they're.
They're great business models,like if you're going to do like
uh, um, like we could do ourbusiness, our merc center
website, on one of those appsand it would be just fine.
Yeah, it depends on what yourgoal is yeah, and what you're
creating, I think.
But if you're creating any kindof an intricate app.
You know, it was a quite aroller coaster ride for me.
I was going through all theseplaces that held these promises,

(04:42):
and the reason why I say thatis because when I went to
searching for um non-coding waysthat I could create my own app
because this is this is be realI heard stories that apps are
really expensive to create, andso I started looking for ways to
create one that was cheaper andfound out that those those
places just didn't work.
They didn't work for us, andthey made all these promises and

(05:06):
that's the reason why I'mcalling them out is because all
these promises oh, yes, you canLike there are certain ones out
there that you can't even putthem in the Play Store or the
App Store, and so don't go downbecause I spent like I'm not
going to call them out.
Yeah, I'm not going to call themout, I'm not going to call them
out.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah, I'm not going to call them out.
I think what we're sharing isdo your homework.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
And really research it to see.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
So kind of the guidelines that I found out for
you.
So you guys know, if you wantto create your own app is, if
you have more than a six-stepprocess, it's not going to work.
You have to go to a coder, andso if there's anything that
involves six steps or more, thenyou're it's not going to work
and so, especially if you don'twant to have to do it over right
?

Speaker 1 (05:51):
yeah, because I did it twice, three times you know
if, if you're not one who wantsto put something out quickly and
just get something going andknowing down the road that
you're going to have to investmore time and money in doing it
over because you're in your mindthinking, okay, well, this

(06:12):
basic concept will get mestarted and then I'll grow that
from there and build on it.
Yeah, those apps like you'retalking about don't allow you to
do that they don't allow you todo that.
You'll find yourself at a placewhere you basically have to
start over.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
You end up hiring a coding company anyway Because,
like one of the places that Icreated an app on, found out
that they had a limit of 1,000subscribers.
Right and so if you have morethan 1,000 people, which is a
minute amount of subscribers,and you can only have 2000
downloads.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Right.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
And so I mean that's a minute amount.
In any app store, evennon-performing apps, will you
know, have 25 to 40,000downloads.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
Right.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Because it's international, you know it's so
it's like I just don'tunderstand.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
So just you know, do your homework and pay attention
to what you're doing and if youhave any intricacy that's six
steps or more then realize thatyou're going to have to go to a
coding company.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah, and I think that's one of our joys is when
we do experience something new,putting it in a step-by-step
process that helps educateothers, and so that's what's
caused you to kind of want to doa youtube video or whatever
platform but anyway, we havehired a company called vacancy

(07:33):
with a, b as in boy um,thousands and thousands of apps
they have out.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
They have over 3 000 positive reviews online and, and
man, what it's been a greatexperience so far it really has,
it really has I mean they, theyhave some kind of progress
every single day and they giveyou a free project manager with
it.
When you pay for the, you'rereally only paying for the
coding, because the reality isis they're working to be able to

(07:59):
have the maintenance contractin it and that's really they
understand.
Without apps, they have nomaintenance contracts, and so
they tried, they developed theapp at a little cheaper rate and
and they want the maintenancecontract and even though the
contract that we sign hasdoesn't has no guarantee that
we'll give them that contractright, exactly, and I mean you
know you'll have to get your ownquote yeah it seemed very

(08:23):
reasonably, I think, from ourperspective, having gotten bids.
So to speak on other companies.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
They proved to be for us in our situation very cost
friendly and we liked that and.
And then their production thusfar has been.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
But anyway, are you ready for today's topic?
I am, oh yeah, you can lookthem up at vacancycom, by the
way.
B-a-c-a-n-c-y.
Yeah, b with a vacancy, with aboy at the front, b.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
Vacancy B as in boy.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
B as in boy.
Yes, all right.
So we're going to have a littlebit of a different conversation
today.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Okay, are you ready for it?
I am ready.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
So today's conversation is about what's a
good way to start thisconversation.
We, as humans, are raised withbelief systems and we're taught
things.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
And until it gets exposed to you that how you're
thinking is not the proper way,then you can go through your
life creating beliefs off ofthat bad belief and then it just
gets layered into that onion.
But what I'm specificallytalking about today is sexual

(09:52):
beliefs.
You know, and I'll give you theprime example um, most women
are taught that they have totake care of their man.
Um, what I mean is I don't know, and y'all listening can look
it up.
You look up empty balls, fullstomach, and how many tiktoks

(10:12):
come up, how many instagramscome up, and and so we're gonna,
we're gonna complete, do thegamut today of this conversation
from beginning to the end,because it is a societal top
belief, that is, the wiferesponsibility to take care of
the man or the man'sresponsibility to take care of
the woman yeah, I was gonna say,if I can step in, because I am

(10:33):
no stranger to this, um, youknow, this came up because it
came up for me and essentiallywhat happened is I thought I had
cleared the beliefs and I didat some layer, but there was
some underlying stuff thatyou'll touch on.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
I was raised in the societal concept of okay, so I
go, I be, I become a wife and itis my wifely duty, and people
that are our age will understandit a little bit better than I
think.
The uh younger generation.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Younger generation actually, I think it is.
It's actually kind of strong inthe younger generation.
But the the confusion comeswith can I finish?
Whose responsibilities?
Who yes?

Speaker 1 (11:20):
so as a wife, I carried around for many years
that my wifely duty was to takecare of the children, clean the
house and please my man, pleasemy man, his sexual needs, and

(11:44):
those were all logged andcategorized as chores.
Yes, whether I had a job orwhether I didn't, and I have
always had a job, so those wereadditional chores, basically,
that I had in addition to havinga job.
Right, but they were chores Itook on because I saw and
watched my family dynamic go onand so because there's no book

(12:11):
that you get given, Well, notjust your family dynamic, it's
taught on the TV too.
Right, I was getting there.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
I was given no book by the family that said, okay,
here, this is what wife meansand this is what it looks like.
So I would watch things likeLeave it to Beaver growing up.
The family that said, okay,here, this is what wife means
and this is what it looks like.
So I would watch things likeleave it to beaver growing up
and I always call it the junecleaver syndrome yeah, we talk
about it all the time we do andyou know, june's at home, she's

(12:39):
got her little apron on.
She's tending to be even all ofhis shenanigans.
She's making the cookies.
Then they all come home andthey have supper that june has
made.
They sit down, they have supper.
You watch all that on tv, yep,and because you don't get given
a book that says, okay, this iswhat it looks like.

(13:00):
If you're not taught by yourown family a healthy way, then
you're going to take thosesnippets from TV and say, okay,
well, I guess this is what itlooks like to be a wife.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yes, yep.
Then as you watch your familydynamic you're and you yearn to
have that dynamic.
That's right.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
You think, okay, that's what perfect life looks
like, that's what the Americandream looks like.
Hey, that's what perfect lifelooks like, that's what the
American dream looks like.
And then you take snippets fromwhat your grandmother does,
what your parents do, whoever,whoever your heroes or mentors
are, and you take all of thatand you mold it into this

(13:39):
perspective of what you thinkthat character is defined as.
And then as you age for me, asI got older, I was like I don't
like that part of it, so I'mgoing to modify that.
I don't like that part of it,I'm going to modify it.
And as I went through differentrelationships and then I came
to you and we've talked aboutthis, I'm almost done you gave

(14:04):
me permission not to have to dodishes, not to have to cook not
to have to clean if I didn'twant to, and it kind of spun see
it, kind of it put me in atailspin for a minute.
As a wife definition, I was likewhat the f is going on, like

(14:28):
what do I what?
What is that?
What am I supposed?
What am I supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do now?
Yeah, as the wife, am Isupposed to sit here and eat
bonbons?
Look pretty like what am Isupposed?
To do so anyway.
That's how we got kind of tothis topic for ourselves is I'm
working through some layers ofit.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
You know I'm going to take a line from my grandpa.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
My grandpa once said that it's nobody's
responsibility to take care ofme other than me Absolutely, and
I took that to heart.
And on the other side of thatis, you know, I come from a
double working household, Iguess growing up and I had to
learn to cook on my own and domy own laundry and take care of
myself, basically because I wasa latchkey kid.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
Right, I think a lot of us were in that generation,
in our generation, because I didas well Yep, you know.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
But anyway, what it does is it confuses the dynamic
Absolutely, Like when I went toyou and I want to back up just a
hair.
You know, in today's world wehear a lot that you know,
chivalry is dead and those kindof things.
And chivalry comes from inside.
It is not an expectation.
It is nobody's job to take careof you.

(15:41):
It is nobody's job to take careof anybody else.
It is their job to take care ofyou.
It is nobody's job to take careof anybody else.
It is their job to take care ofthemselves and it's my job to
take care of me, no matter whattopic that is right granted, dr
jenny doesn't open a door.
She hasn't touched the doorknobin a very, very long time,
because I open all her doors,but I choose to do it.
She doesn't expect me to do it,she doesn't want me to do it.

(16:03):
She gets in trouble when me todo it.
She gets in trouble when shedoes do it, but she also does
not ever ever.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
It's not like I get a spanking or anything, right.
He'll make little comments likedoes your hand hurt?
Right, we make fun of it.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
But the whole purpose behind it is it's a choice that
I make.
Person behind it is it's achoice that I make, and what
brings us to this topic is howthat dynamic is confusing in a
lot of different perspectives,not just in the duties.
And so you know I'm going tosay this it is nobody's
responsibility to take care ofyou.
Listeners, if you're listening.

(16:40):
It is nobody's job to take careof you.
It is your job to take care ofyourself.
When you have two people thatcome together in a relationship
and they merge, it is anagreement for two people to live
their individual lives together.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
Right.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
And then you come together and you manifest.
But to be specific about thetopic of this podcast, it's
about sex.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Right Sexual energy.
This podcast, yeah, it's aboutsex, right sexual energy.
We've been kind of putting indifferent levels of sex along
the way as we talk about thistaboo topic.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, it's a taboo topic, for nobody wants to talk
about sex well, through thediscovery of multiple things, we
have discovered that there aresome things that have, within
that confused dynamic, they getconfused in in people's minds.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
One of those things is and it was confused.
I had it get confused inpeople's minds.
One of those things is direction.
I had it confused, and sothat's why I wanted to bring the
topic back up, because ifthere's other people out there
that were doing what I just wentthrough, it would definitely
cause them to experience what Iexperienced, which was I thought

(17:46):
that I had cleared the beliefs,I thought that I had gotten all
of that cleaned up andredefined, but it kept popping
up in my reality and I'm likewhat the F?
Why does this keep popping up?
I thought I got all that sothat I would dig around some
more, dig around some more, andyou finally brought it.

(18:07):
By perfect timing, and througha little bit of blood, sweat and
tears because shadow work isnot always a day at the spa we
finally got to the underlyingcore of it.
Right, are you ready for me togo there?
Not yet, okay.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
So to clarify a couple of things is, first of
all, when I say it's not yourjob, it's not, it's not
anybody's job to take care ofyou, and that is sexually as
well.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Right.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
And so you know it's kind of taboo to talk about it,
but when boys are growing up andgirls are growing up, and when
they come to maturity and wehave hormones that go off, they
masturbate.
Why do they masturbate?
they masturbate to learnthemselves yeah and I'm going to
talk about this, and maybewe'll have to make this an
explicit podcast where they haveto be over 18 to listen to it.

(19:03):
But I think all even kids, youknow, if they have hit puberty
need to hear this, because it isokay to create a safe spot in
your mind around masturbationand your own self-discovery,
because if you can't take careof you, you're not going to take
care of anybody else and thatincludes in the sexual
self-discovery area as well.
Yes.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
If you don't know what you like which I spent many
years not knowing what I likedbecause I didn't give myself
that space to explore Right ThenI can't communicate to you
sexually what does feel good andwhat doesn't, because I don't
know.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
Right, good, and what doesn't, because I have, no, I
don't know right.
And when you, when you've livedyour entire life with the
societal, taught or parentalbelief that you carry on that
it's a chore, then there is nopleasure in it, because
procreation and sex is forpleasure or procreating, that is
it right.
So when I had sex boxed up inthis little box of chores, it
looks like this gives it nospace to become anything

(20:07):
pleasurable or, like I, therewas no room left for it to be a
pleasure thing right, and somany years ago, you know, and
I'm gonna, I'm gonna back upjust a minute here because I
remember when I was comingthrough my hormonal changes and
I hit puberty, I was made fun of.

(20:28):
You know, I used to hear itYou're going to grow green hair
in the palm of your hand.
You know, it used to be theongoing joke.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
But what I realized was is it's actually kind of
ownership, because when you putyourself in that spot, you're
creating a safe spot in yourmind of making sure that you're
taken care of I know one of thethings that I would hear when
that commentary would happenlike between my aunts and uncles
or just in the family dynamicis comments like it'll make you

(20:56):
wet the bed oh yeah, so samekind of premise yeah yeah, and
it really is, and it's kind ofit's it's.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
What's bad is is they didn't realize what they were
doing, right?
Um, because that era changed.
You know, even when my parentswere younger, it was the june
cleaver time, right, and then,before I get out of high school,
it became a two-incomehousehold that's right, and they
certainly never talked aboutsex no, they.
You know well, my dad did my no, I mean June Cleaver.

(21:25):
Oh yeah, no, totally not.
It was faux pas and against theBible, and blah, blah, blah
blah.
That's right.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
That's what happens behind closed doors, in the
privacy of your own home, andyou don't talk about it, right?
Otherwise you're considered oneof those rogue humans.
That's off the chain.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
And so when you don't get to practice your own sexual
energy, it also confusessomething else ooh do tell it
puts everything out of order.
So let me explain, like theexample you brought up.
You made a comment that I canguys go ahead.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
Yeah, so basically what was happening with me is
when I got into high school evenin middle school I was provided
this big set of boobs that grewwithout me doing anything.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
You had what.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
I was this very athletic, build, slim body, but
I had these huge double D boobsin middle school.
Knockers yeah, and I noticedthat I was getting a lot of
notice.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yeah, noticed.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Because of my boobs, and that was the focal point of
the male population.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
And I didn't really know what to do about it.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
How did you take it when the boys approached you?
You thought what?

Speaker 1 (22:55):
I thought that they wanted to have sex with me.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
Okay, and why did you think that?

Speaker 1 (23:02):
Well, are you ready for me to tell my beginning to
end perception.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
No, you don't have to .

Speaker 1 (23:07):
No, I don't have a problem, I was waiting for you
to tell me when to do it.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
I mean, you don't have to air your dirty laundry
if you don't want.
Oh no, I don't care, Okay.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
So this is how I perceived it.
I said to myself okay, okay, mybig boobs are causing this
individual male to be attractedand aroused by what he visually
sees, and that arousal thencreates sexual energy, which

(23:40):
then culminates in having sex ifboth parties agree to do so, if
both parties agree to do so.
Now the sideline part of thatwas that if I said no, I then

(24:01):
was called a tease or whatever,because I had these boobs and
they were looking at them and Iwasn't sharing them.
So now, all of a sudden, I'm atease and in my generation
growing up.
I'm a tease and in my generation, growing up, being a tease was
just as bad as being a slut,right, right.
So if I go have sex with them,I'm a slut, if I don't, and I
have these big knockers that Ididn't ask for.
It's not like I went to themcdonald's window and said give

(24:22):
me giant knockers at this agecan you biggie size those?
Then I decide I don't want toshare because in middle school
sex was the farthest thing frommy mind.
I was still playing with fuckingbarbies, right?
Then I'm like no, I'm nothaving sex with you just because
you like my boobs.
Then I was called oh well,you're just a tease, then You're

(24:46):
just a prick tease, or whatever, and that confused me then as
well.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
Well, you've got a couple of confusing parts there.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
And so you were logging that these boys were
looking at you creating and themlooking at you was creating an
energy of sex.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
Yeah right, and you livingly reminded me of
einstein's m is what is the mequals m e equals mc squared
yeah yeah, energy cannot becreated or destroyed that's
right.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
It cannot be created, yeah, and so it can be
multiplied.
It can be, you know, not reallymultiplied, it can be
intensified intensified right.
Intensified right and so thepoint I reminded her of was this
, and this is what every personneeds to hear A guy does not go
out, he won't even notice anywoman.
You hear all these faux pas outthere that men are visual and

(25:41):
women are emotional.
And that is right.
That is 100% correct.
That's how they intensify theirenergy.
And that is right.
That is 100% correct.
That's how they intensify theirenergy.
But they won't even be lookingor experiencing unless the
energy is already there.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, that was probably the epiphanal statement
when we were working throughthis with me the other day.
Is that rung my bell?
Because I'm like, oh my God,he's right, the energy's already
got to be there.
As with any topic.
That's right or the other stuffis nonexistent and doesn't

(26:13):
matter.

Speaker 2 (26:14):
He's going to be more focused on doing whatever his
teenage boy friends are doing,right, and they're going to
whatever party they're doingLike.
No man goes out on a Fridaynight to get drunk and find a
woman at the bar unless he'salready got the sexual energy
built up.
Same thing with women.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
Women do the same thing yeah they don't go out
unless the sexual energy isthere yeah, and I so as I was
working through it, I went backto my high school days and I did
coordinate that I had uh malefriends in our little group that
we hung out with.
One was uh gay and so he wasjust a very good friend.

(26:55):
There was no sexual energytowards me, so he didn't focus
on the boobs or do any of thatright.
And then we had a heterosexualmale part of the group and he
didn't look at either of usfemales in that way.
It was more brotherly type love,and that means the sexual
energy, wasn't there and so thesexual energy was not there, and

(27:17):
so that topic never came up.
And so you're completely rightand it rang my bell, man and
these teenage girls.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
And this happens a lot because boys, they say,
develop before girls.
And I don't know about thecross-gender stuff, I don't know
how those are developingbecause I'm not experienced in
it, but I can tell you that whenit comes to the boys and the
girls, the boys develop earlier.
The boys develop earlier, andwhat I mean by that is the

(27:46):
majority of the time they hitpuberty before the women do,
before girls do, which confusesthe dynamic greatly.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Especially when the collective information is that
females hit puberty before mendo, before the boys do.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
Well, they say women will mature mentally, mentally
which, when your friends areengaged in sex because you know
nobody does it at the same.
Break guys, nobody.
This is not a cookie cutterthing and there is no handbook
that comes with you when you'reborn right and so when you have
friends that are engaged insexual activity and you're
maturing, it becomes very easyto get caught up in that fact of

(28:27):
oh, I want to do that.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
Well, and even if you don't want to do it, I can
remember there being peerpressure.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
Oh yeah, oh, you haven't had sex yet.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
Wow, you're weird.
You're a virgin still.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
In our era it was rare.
Nowadays it's a lot more common.
And hey, more power to you guys, whatever you want to do, but
just remember, do not make sexand sexual energy.
Don't put it on the back burnerand keep it in there, because
your sexual energy is not onlyabout sex, it's about
procreating, it's about pleasureand it's also the greatest

(29:05):
manifesting energy that you have.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
That energy creates life Right, and when you can
learn to intensify that energyon your own.
What I mean and I don't mean,I'm not just talking about
masturbation- Right.
I'm talking about learning tocontrol your own energy sexual
energy and putting it in thedirection that you want to use

(29:29):
it in.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
You mean in other areas of the life pie.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
Right, you know, when I was younger my sexual energy
was very big and I cheated onwives and girlfriends and I did
stupid things, and I admit thatit's not a big deal to me, you
know, to them, everybody else itprobably was, but that's
because I had not mastered thecontrol of my sexual energy and
what I do with it.
Because I too, just like you,weren't taught one thing.

(29:56):
The guys aren't taught either.
We don't know what to do withit right, yeah, you've got this.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Uh, what's that firework where it spits little
balls out?
The end of it Roman candles.
Roman candle.
You've got this lit Romancandle going off by itself and
you don't know what the hell todo with it.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Right, you know, I remember waking up the first
time with an erection and sayingwhat the and it hurt.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
What, the what.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
What is this?
And you flick it and it don'tgo away or whatever, but anyway.
So we're not taught either, andso you have to understand that
energy is there to be exercisedand used.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Yeah, and I think one of the other misnomers was when
I was growing up is as females,I thought the guy knew what he
was doing and so I relied onthem for knowledge and expertise
the first time I did have sex,because I sure the hell didn't
know, and so I thought thatsince he was coming to me

(31:00):
wanting to have sex, that he wasexperienced and knew what the
hell to do.
Yeah, and so I relied on that.
Um, no, we're guessing theircomponent of that is for me.
What got tangled up in that wasthis statement right here of
the guy trying to convince me tohave sex for the first time.

(31:24):
He said, said oh, I will loveyou, I promise.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
I'll love you forever .

Speaker 1 (31:31):
If we can just do this thing, I'll take care of
you, I'll keep you safe and I'lllove you.
And then, right at that moment,love, equaling sex, equaling
safety and security got alltwisted and tangled together so
then, I spent the rest of myyounger days thinking that sex

(31:54):
equaled love right, and here's agood example I want to throw
out there to people.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
You know how many people in your life can you stop
and think about that?
You viewed and think about that.
You viewed, as you know, backwhen we were younger sluts,
those kind of things.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
Or hookers or whores or whatever.
You know that girl's just awhore.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
She sleeps with everybody Right.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
But those women turn out to be very, very successful.
Why?
Because they have learned tomanipulate their energy.
And when you can take yourenergy and learn to manipulate
it for yourself, not worriedabout anybody else and not
worried about the societalbeliefs behind it, you'll learn

(32:42):
that the energy manipulation is.
You're not creating it, You'rejust intensifying it and aiming
it in when you meet.

Speaker 1 (32:54):
When you mean aiming it, you're not necessarily
saying aiming it towards themale or female that you want to
have a relationship with you'reyou're meaning aiming it towards
your career?
Your career towards yourfinancial situation.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
What was that movie with that girl who crossed her
legs?
Indecent?
Oh, the famous movie Anyway,where women back then got
magnified in the movies thatthey're sleeping their way to
the top.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
Oh, I don't remember.
I think it was IndecentProposal or something like that,
if I remember right.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
I don't remember, but yeah, I think it was Indecent
Proposal or something like that,if I remember right.
But the point I'm bringingahead is those women learned to
manipulate and control theirenergy by practicing, using it
in the right way, in the rightdirection and so like when we
were maturing and starting outin business in the 90s.
These women that are gettingaccused of sleeping their way to

(33:47):
the top and all this stuff,well, first of all, that's a
very sexist remark.
Second of all is becausethey're using their sexual
energy.
I'm not saying that they areactually sleeping with them.
They're making people thinkthey will sleep with them using
their sexual energy, or they'reusing their sexual energy to
manifest their intelligence intotheir growth, and controlling

(34:08):
and using that energy is one ofthe biggest manifestors that we
can have well and even get intoa place where you embrace having
the energy, yeah, and thatbeing okay understanding it and
feeling it aside from thesocietal.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
You know, if I wear a low-cut shirt, not being
concerned about being viewed asslutty or inappropriate, and I'm
going to go in this dark placecut shirt and somebody

(34:51):
approaches me inappropriately,it is not my fault.
No, because I chose to dressthat way.
That's just a person thatdoesn't know how to me
practicing, embracing, that Ihave sexual energy and it's okay
yeah, it's okay, yeah, it's asafe place.
But if you've got a societallytaught thing.
That it's that you got to coveryour body and it's not okay to
do that, then you'll neverembrace that sexual energy fully

(35:15):
.
And let it be what it is.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
That's right.
You've got to let it be what itis.
That's where I have been reallyreally, and and when you do
things that that is sexualenergy based, no matter what it
is like you, you get a great,give a great example.
You're feeling sexy today.
You get a little sexual energygoing on, so you're wearing a
little miniskirt and a low-cuttop and you're going to walk

(35:37):
around and let people wish theyhad you for the day yeah but it
makes you feel safe insidebecause you're controlling it
right, but getting to that point,

Speaker 1 (35:47):
yeah, that's the point I will do that on occasion
, not often enough.
Now that I am aware of what'sgoing on, I will practice
letting that energy live insideof me.
Right, but and until the otherday's conversation, I would do
that, but there would still bethis uncomfortable thread about

(36:11):
doing it, and you can witnessthat.
I will do that, but then I'lltake a jacket and tie it around
my waist.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
Yeah, right, yeah, I've seen it all the time.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Or I'll put on a tank top, but I'll put two on and
pull it up over my cleavage,yeah.
Or, you know, I'll say thingslike I really would like to go
without a bra today, but then Ikind of walk hunched over
subconsciously.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
Yeah, you do that a lot.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
And it's me subconsciously trying to
de-accentuate my boobs, and I dothat even when I wear a bra,
and you'll catch me and remindme most of the time of you know
stand-ups.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
You even bought that thing that makes you stand up
straight.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
Yeah, and I don't even wear it anymore.
Stand up straight, mind yourposture, but hide in your boobs,
right?

Speaker 2 (37:05):
Stand up straight, mind your posture, but hide in
your boobs.
Right, you know, I think themain one of the things that we
should continue to talk about inthis is when you understand
what the sexual energy feelslike within you and understand
it's not your responsibility toyou know, to take care of
somebody else's sexual energy,unless you choose to.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Or their perspective, or their perspective, or their
perspective.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
That's right.
It's all about you.
And it's okay to make this lifeabout you.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
Because I promise you you don't have to
self-sacrifice or surrender yourown beliefs to find a good
person, like I did it for years.
You did it for years, we've alldone it, but you don't have to
do that and you will findsomebody that matches your
beliefs, as long as you staytrue to yourself.
Yeah, and I bring up a tv showthat popped in my mind earlier

(37:53):
and in this conversation, andthat is sex in the city.
Do you remember that show?

Speaker 1 (37:58):
I do vaguely.
I didn't watch it, probablybecause of the title you know
there's.
I remember when that show firstcame out it got so chastised by
the religious groups andbecause here you have four women
.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
Yeah that, first of all, none of them were married.
Yeah, they were openly dating.
They were living the life of asingle male, which was okay and
talking about talking about itopenly.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
Exactly.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
And that is how you control your sexual energy.
And they both were all fourwere all very successful in
their jobs.
They were very secure inthemselves.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
And so I will tell you all this that when you can
learn to understand your sexualenergy, feel your sexual energy,
manipulate it and anticipate iton your own, Talk about it.
Talk about it, get comfortablewith it, let it on your own.
Talk about it.
Talk about it, get comfortablewith it, let it have space to
live within you in a confidentway sarah jessica perker.
That's when you can become sarahjessica perker yeah, you know

(38:59):
she's just released a new showand she's the same person in
that show and it's great to see.
Yeah, it is great to see.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
Yeah, it is great to see, absolutely Because you're
right.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
You know, until the conversation it also revealed to
me a few things, andhistorically in my life, of why
things happen the way they didin my past with women, and
because they too were just notunderstanding of the energy that
was going on and I wasn'tcompletely understanding it
Right, right, and I wasn'tcompletely understanding it
Right.
And so when it came to thepoint in my life that I got I

(39:31):
would call it mastery of mysexual energy because I do feel
like I kind of mastered thatpart of my life I stopped being
stupid and so like doing stupidthings, going out on Friday
night and chasing women, youknow there's there comes a point
when it's okay, as long as youdo it for the right reason yeah,
it changes, it changes itchanges your perspective.

(39:54):
It changes how you look ateverything, yeah, and
understanding that that sexualenergy is the manifester, one of
the one of the strongestmanifestors in your life
absolutely.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
I mean any of the energy books or the tantra books
or any of that.
They talk about the same thing,right?
I just didn't for me personally.
I didn't have it wired quiteright and I didn't understand it
there's a lot of people outthere that don't I.
I can tell you that feelingarousal or feeling sexual energy

(40:26):
I can't necessarily always pickup on that frequency because I
never gave it space to liveinside my body and the space you
did give it was very limitedwas.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
I'm gonna go make my little safe place over here.
I'm gonna go there make a safeplace instead of making the
sexual energy the safe placeright you created a place where
you could go enjoy in privacy,and I'm not just talking about
masturbation.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
Even when you have that energy, you'll do that a
lot but even like dressing in amanner that I want to dress.
Yeah, wearing my short skirtsand stuff.
Yeah, when you and I met andyou then were my safety zone.
I would dress that way morecomfortably, because I felt safe

(41:11):
as long as you were by me.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Now if.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
I was going to town by myself.
I would not dress that way,because even in high school,
when I was approached abouthaving nice boobs by some crazy
boy that didn't even know whatto do with his own sexual energy
, it made me uncomfortable, andso I didn't know how to navigate

(41:34):
those experiences by saying youknow what john shut up get out
of my face.
You're stupid, little johnny andI didn't want the confrontation
, and so, therefore, I woulddumb me down sexually by not
dressing that way, by walkinghunched over trying to hide them
or whatever those compensationswere, so that I wouldn't have

(41:57):
to be called a tease because,you know, bobby asked me if I
would have sex with him becausehe really likes my boobs, and I
say no, and then he oh, you'rejust a prick tease.
I didn't want thoseconfrontations.
So then when you and I met, Iknew that you had my back, you
were my safety net, and so thenI would dress that way because I

(42:20):
wanted to embrace that a littlemore fully.
But if you weren't around and Ihad to go, you know, to town by
myself or something, it wasright back to the librarian
clothing well that you knowspeak, or the hunched over
posture, or whatever yeah, thenwow um so this is a long one,

(42:42):
guys.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
Yeah, this is, yeah, this is wow detail so you know
the sexual energy within it'sget this topic in.
A lot of people is confused andso when you have sexual energy,
understand this is it is okay,embrace it, own it, love it, let
it be what it is.
That don't mean you have to actupon anything.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
Don't mean you have to do anything Exactly.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
Just feel it, yeah, and enjoy it, because it is a
good feeling.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Yeah, and I may have to put this in two parts.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
Yeah, probably will.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Because I don't want to shorten it if we still have
stuff to talk about.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
And the number two thing that I want to talk about
is understand that sexual energyis not created by what you see.
It's not created by what youfeel, if you're empathic, or the
words that come out ofanybody's mouth.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
And love is not attached to sex either.
Ooh.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
So the visual what you're saying is the visual
component of seeing somethingthat's attractive is
accentuating the energy that wasalready there.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
I see it's not the creator of the energy Right.
It's not the creator of theenergy, it's the intensifier of
it Right.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
You wouldn't even be looking if you didn't have the
energy.
I see they wouldn't be lookingif they didn't have the energy.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
I got it.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
And you know like I want to go back on what you
talked about.
It happened to you in highschool because I think this is a
topic of this that needs to beunderstood as well, because it's
tied in with this topic, and Iwill tell you that love is not
controlled nor manifested by sex.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
It is a good topic.
It's steep.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Yeah, this topic of, like you said, I'll love you
forever if you'll have sex withme.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
And the reality is this love is not created from
sex.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Right.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
Love is a feeling that you have when you make a
commitment to somebody.
It's deep inside you.
If you can close your eyes andimagine yourself without that
person, then you don't love them.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
And you've got a very strong point, because and I'm
going to bring this weirdcomparison up you and people are
going to combat me about it butI am the doctor, so and I do go
to weird places.
Yeah, if sex equaled love, well, so you have children and you

(45:06):
have a love for them, but you'renot going to have sex with them
, right?
So, oh, but that's a differentkind of love, you're right.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
It is, but love is still love, it still holds a
frequency, that's right, itstill has a frequency.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
It doesn't matter if it's a love for child, a love
for a spouse, a love for apartner, a love of a game.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
love is love right and you don't love everybody you
ever slept with nobody loveseverybody.
They've ever slept with noexactly and and if, if you are
taught that as a growing upperson, need to understand.
You know because cause I seethis, I see this in relationship
counseling and I see this inother things that the woman gets

(45:52):
confused because they areemotional and so they, when they
put themselves into an intimateplace and they give away what
they feel is their security, toallow this person, they're
giving up an emotion.
Now let's talk about that.

(46:12):
If they would go back andunderstand that controlling the
sexual energy and being okaywith that sexual energy doesn't
have to have an emotionalattachment.
You don't have to attach anyemotion to sex.
Sex is just for pleasure orprocreating.
It does not equal love.

(46:33):
But in the societal top beliefsthey are taught that putting
themselves in that vulnerableposition is like a cat.
If they show you the belly, youknow they're trusting you.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
Women will do the same thing.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
Right.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
And men take advantage of that.
I'm going to talk, I'm going tocall it like it is.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
And they'll say stuff oh my God, I love you, right?
Oh my God, that was so good, Ilove you.
I'll come back tomorrow, we'lldo it again.
And that's bullshit, becausethe first time you try to
interrupt his boy's night out,you'll find out how much he
really loves you right andthat's the reality.

(47:13):
I'm gonna call a spade a spade.
Men take advantage of thatsituation.
I don't know about the othergenders now, with everything
going on, all I can tell youabout it is what I know and how
it happens.
And we're teaching people topractice abstinence and that is
good to have.
I will say that is good to have, as long as they are exercising
their sexual energy.

(47:34):
Because all you're doing istaking away that person's future
to have a secure confidencewithin themselves, because that
sexual energy also whenexercised, creates a lot of
personal self-worth, a lot ofpersonal ego, a lot of value in

(47:54):
one's person.
And when it's not exercisedproperly or not used properly,
it will get taken advantage of.
And so I'm here to tell you youcan write this all down Love
does not equal sex period, right, it does not matter, because
you can love somebody and never.
Love does not equal sex periodright, it does not matter,
because you can love somebodyand never have sex with them
right yeah, and you can have sexa million times with somebody

(48:15):
you love.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
Whatever you want to do, but it's your choice or you
can have sex with somebody amillion times and not love them
yeah, totally.
I mean, I just have friendswith benefits, I mean exactly
just because it's a good timeand it's a fun recreational
thing and they're good at it andyou're good at it with them.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
Right.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
It doesn't have to have an emotion with it.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
It's just a fun toy on the playground If you're
attaching emotions to sex,you're setting yourself up for
failure, which is one of thereasons why I'm going to call it
.
One of the reasons why thedivorce rate is so high in this
country is because we do nottalk about this openly.
In reality, we use a bible totell us about sex yeah nothing
wrong with the bible.

(49:00):
You know, if you follow thebible, that is okay, but we're
not listening to our bodiesthat's right we're not doing the
things that we need to do toexercise that energy and put it
in the right direction.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Yeah, and not giving sexual energy the space to exist
.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
Right.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
We're trying to hide it or dumb it down or you know,
talking about it, getting openwith it.
Yeah, talking about it, gettingopen with it.
I'm not saying that you've gotto get comfortable going and
having a full-sex conversationwith some stranger in the
grocery store.
What I'm saying is getting usedto that sexual energy existing

(49:41):
in your body and being able toidentify it in your own bubble
and giving it space to exist,just like we teach whenever we
go and talk about the tears forthe or the grieving process.
Giving space for that energy toexist instead of stuffing it

(50:03):
away in some box where it canblow up later, the anger, any of
those things.
Right, you've got to give thatenergy place to exist and
understand what it's about andwhat it's showing you or the the
dynamic of it, before you canreally use it or understand it
or whatever.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
You've got to let it have a place to exist right,
right, totally right, becausesociety has taught us that a sex
comes with promises and lovecomes with promises.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
And they don't well, and society has also told us
that you can't even acknowledgesex unless you have a marriage
certificate right, and it'sridiculous I mean in our
generation, and prior to thateven more strongly you were not
allowed to even acknowledge thatsexual energy existed or the

(50:55):
word sex existed, unless you hada piece of paper and a ring on
your finger that says okay, nowI'm allowed to acknowledge this
energy and do it with my husband, wife whatever Yep.
That is such a confusing bunchof nonsensical hooey boo, 100%

(51:18):
and talk about.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
that is, you know, used to be until the law changed
in, like, I think, 2016 orsomething.
The law used to be that if youwere going through a divorce and
you had sex with your ex, thatyou were divorcing, that the
divorce was now null and voidfor the longest time, because
the government was evenattaching sex to commitment and
to marriage.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
How would they know?
Do they have?

Speaker 2 (51:41):
little cameras, they ask oh.
They will ask you, like when Iwent through my divorce, they
asked me have I had sex with herin the last three months?

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Are you kidding?

Speaker 2 (51:51):
No, no because they will dismiss the case right
there.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
So interesting In some states.
I don't know about every state,but I know the law has changed
now.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
So the policies and the procedures and everything we
get taught around sex isthere's all these things
attached to sex.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
It's so stupid.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
And sex is an internal energy.
It's your own energy, it'snobody else's.
Sexual energy I can't give awaymy energy and you can't give
away your energy.
Yeah, now you can't interminglethat energy right and you can
have a lot of fun interminglingthat energy because it's for
pleasure and procreation yeahbut sex does not equal love and
love does not come with promises.

(52:32):
So if somebody says, oh, you'regoing to be the only person I
ever sleep with, nine times outof ten, according to the divorce
rate, that is not true, right.
But you know, and this is to bereal, this conversation does
not happen with children,because parents seem to think

(52:53):
that their child's going to bethe top performing person and
they're going to be in the top2% of the United States.
That never has a problem.
They're going to marry once,they're going to go to the same
church, live in the same house,they're going to do the same
thing and they're not going tobe anything more than that, and
they're going to be in the top2% of people in their life.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
And they're magically going to know the whole premise
behind sex and what to do withit.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Mommy and daddies, you all need to be talking about
this subject.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
Because if you don't, then you're going to down the
road they're learning it fromthe programs that are on TV,
from their friends If you don'tteach them God knows where they
learned it.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
They will learn it from somewhere and they will put
together a script and they'llbe 50 years old learning that
they've got shit.
Ass backwards.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
I was counseling a father one time and he was
saying I just don't understand.
She just can't get it straightin her life.
She's always bouncing fromboyfriend to boyfriend, to
boyfriend to boyfriend, blah,blah, blah blah and she just
cannot stop.
And I'm like have you ever hadthat conversation with her?
And I don't mean theconversation of what she's doing
wrong, I mean the conversationof what she needs to do right.

Speaker 1 (54:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
And he just looked at me like I was crazy.
If you never have theconversation that's on you
brother Right looked at me likeI was crazy.
If you never have theconversation that's on you,
brother Right, that was yourresponsibility now that she's an
adult.
He said I had to go at 3o'clock in the morning and save
her from her boyfriend.
That just beat her up.
Well, she's using her sexualenergy to pleasure somebody else

(54:30):
instead of herself.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Right.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
And when they start sacrificing their sexual energy,
they will sacrifice themselves,absolutely, absolutely, man,
this is full of good littlesayings.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Oh, came up with heck yeah this is a juicy, like
double me quarter pounder, makesize it the mother up yeah, I
definitely will have to put itinto parts.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
Yeah, well, I mean yeah totally.
I mean it's at an hour rightnow.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
Well, I just don't want to cut it short when we're
on the stream of things.
I want to make sure we get itall defined out there and get
all of the information out there.
Right, because I think it's sohighly important it is for me
yeah and I just was thinkingokay, well, how many other
people have this wired backwards?
I know that energy can't becreated or destroyed and I know

(55:25):
that having the flow of energyand other topics makes perfect
sense for me.
But this one blindsided me,yeah, and I sat around and I
thought, man, I've redefined andburnt beliefs and restructured
all of that.
Why is this weird topic stillpopping up?

(55:48):
And you know, one of the thingsthat I would notice is I didn't
know what my sexual, what mypersonal sexual energy felt like
or looked like.
And that was so peculiar to mebecause, as an empath, I'm a
feeler and I thought, oh no, I'mbroken.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
I'm broken.
Can somebody fix it?

Speaker 1 (56:11):
Like when we started talking about this, I was like
good god, I don't know what thatfeels like in my body, because
I never gave it space and we'reI don't know if I would call
that talking, because we've hadmany heated discussions over
this topic right, yeah, I saynot heated, didn't it passionate
?
Well, you know when you'reworking on a deep-seated thing,

(56:32):
sometimes emotions come out.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
Oh yeah, totally, and it's got to be okay.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
And it has to be okay , whatever that looks like, If
you're screaming and yelling ateach other because your
partner's bringing to lightsomething that you're not
completely, totally willing tolook at and you have to get
offended and jab back for aminute because you don't want to
look at it, which is whathappened with us.
I was jabbing left and rightwith my jousting stick.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Man, you were not open to me at all.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
I was not.
I did not want to look at this,whatever it was, and so it was
not a day at the spa.
This candy looks good Like itwas a day at the spa, but it was
.
I got into a tub of jalapenowater.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
That was a day at the spa, but it was.
I got into a tub of jalapenowater.
That was a jalapeno face mask.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
It was hot AF.
So, yeah, that day at the spawas not lavender and lemongrass,
it was freaking ghost peppersand jalapenos.
Yeah, and jalapenos, yeah.

(57:40):
Even though I would explore themasturbation thing as a
individual, uh, growing up Ididn't understand the premise of
it, because then, when Iincorporated somebody else's
being or somebody else's energyin it, it immediately was
defined as this is my womanlyduty, whether I want to or not,
and I must complete this chore,so to speak well, and it's, and
when, when you're growing up soI never gave it space in my own

(58:02):
body to exist and you weren'tgiven the space by your parents.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
No, because it was faux pas, it was wrong not talk
about it.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
My father did not talk about it.
My mother was very often notaround and probably wouldn't
have talked about it, and mygrandparents didn't talk about
it, especially the one right.
And so you I mean you had noway of knowing my aunts and
uncles that were a little moreopen to just life itself, would

(58:31):
make little comments here andthere and try to give me little
breadcrumbs of knowledge yeahbut it was nothing that I needed
way more like, like, we justneed way more conversation about
it.
And then, of course, you havethat class, the reproductive
class in school that theycreated for us sex ed yeah, and.

(58:52):
Yeah, and that is.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
All they did was teach you what happens.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
It was a little helpful because at least you
walked away knowing that, ohwait, I can go do this thing
called sex and I could end uppregnant and be having to raise
a child.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
Yeah, wow-zer, yeah, that's all they did back then
was preach abstinence.
They didn't preach control.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
Yeah, right, like they must preach abstinence,
they didn't preach control.
Yeah, they didn't preachexercise, especially not control
of the energy.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
Because the reality is, when we're in puberty and
we're growing and our hormonesare taking off, we're not given
that space and not understoodand taught that that energy is
there.
Like I was pretty blessedbecause I had a couple of people
in my life that made commentsthat made me think, yeah, I get
it, man, I've been there.
Just keep giving yourself thespace to be there.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:40):
And parents.
You all need to give it thespace.
The reason why your teenagersare closing their door is not
because they're rebellingagainst you.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
Or they're listening to their music too loud.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
They're doing it because they're trying to find
them yeah it is.
You have to make it okay,because the minute you make it
okay and uncontrolled, is theminute that door will reopen,
because now they have adifferent, safe place.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
They have found their security within themselves
right and it's not just sexualright you know, we don't want to
give the impression that everytime the door closes they're in
there masturbating and play withthemselves.
It's uh what a derogatorystatement, playing with yourself
right, but that's uh, I justdon't want to give that image

(01:00:29):
off right.
It's them understanding all thedifferent kinds of energy and
all the different kinds ofcomponents that make up our
individual selves, and learningwho they are in many different
ways, from many differentbeliefs.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
And to be real, the sexual energy is a strong point
in every part of that developingbody.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
It is.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
It is very strong.
It's a very strong hormone.
It's got a very every part ofthat developing body it is.
It is very strong.
Oh, it's a very strong hormone.
It's got a very strong chemicalrelease in the body.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
And them understanding it.
Unless you have an open floorand have explained it deeply and
give them the space to be whothey are, they're going to
retract from you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
And they're going to be something that you feel like
they're pulling away and it doesnot mean that they are and
everybody has to have theopportunity to exercise that and
if we talked about this moreopenly, there would be a whole
lot less drama and traumaticexperiences in life.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Yeah, and I can give you kind of a metaphorical way
to look at it If you're actuallyworking on some topic and
you're trying to revisit or findthe frequency of a certain
emotion, you will pull away fromyour friends as well, even as
an adult, because you need thenoise of their energy to be out

(01:01:57):
of your space so that you canidentify your own frequency of
the topic.
And it doesn't matter if it'ssex or a relationship or money
or whatever.
When you're doing yourawakening process or your
spiritual grind or whatever, oryour spiritual grind or whatever
, you need space without thenoise of other people's energy

(01:02:22):
and frequency, to really learnabout that for yourself, whether
it be sex or anything.
And so you as an adult, pullaway at times, especially when
you're needing to really hone inon a certain energy frequency
and fine-tune that for yourself.
Yeah, totally, you're needingto really hone in on a certain
energy frequency and fine tunethat for yourself?

Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
Yeah, totally.

Speaker 1 (01:02:38):
They're doing that same thing, but normally when
they're in their teenage yearsand they're shutting that door,
they're having to learn what allthose frequencies feel like,
look like, and that's why theybecome this beast that you don't
recognize anymore and yousometimes wish that you could,

(01:02:59):
like cryogenically, freeze themuntil they wake up and pass that
part of their life.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
Well, but that part of their life is such a huge
part of expansion.
It is crucial it is.
It's a huge part of expansion.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
It very much is I agree.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
But anyway.
So kind of to recap one islisten, guys, it's not your
responsibility to take care ofanybody, and if you think it's
somebody else's job to take careof you, you're confused, and I
mean it with anything in life.

Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
A relationship is not about who can take care of who.
It's about two people joiningindividual lives together and
going on each other's journeys.
Right, because we have a crazylife, because we go on each
other's journeys, we do somecrazy stuff and that is okay and
it is.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
It is okay, wouldn't have it any other way right.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Challenge everybody to stop and look at it and
understand that what you'relooking at is not causing energy
.
What you're looking at isintensifying your own energy.
The energy has to be therefirst.
The energy has to be there inany topic.

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
I agree 100%.

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
So anyway, I feel pretty complete.

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
I think we did a good job on that one.
I think we covered that onewell If you guys have more
questions or comments, you'rewelcome to leave them.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
Right, but I feel complete.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
Yeah, I think we're good.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
Hey, check out the website wwwthemerccentersorg and
you can follow us on Facebook,instagram and Dr Jeannie's new
meditation video got postedyesterday on her YouTube channel
, the Merc Centers.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
Oh yes, and it turned out so, so good.
You did such a good job on it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
Yeah, it came out good.
I was really impressed for myfirst video creation.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
Yeah, thank you.
First time I've ever done that.
I am so grateful.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
You did amazing.
Y'all go look at it and leave acomment on it.
Tell me how I did.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
And if there's any comment or anything you want to
talk about on this podcast,leave us a comment.

Speaker 1 (01:04:56):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
And anybody that did comment in the past.
I apologize if we did notrespond because I discovered
that I had missed a few.
We love you guys.
We hope you have an awesome day.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Love you.
We'll see you next time.

(01:05:38):
Bye.