December 16, 2025 • 45 mins
A week ago everything tilted: sudden confusion, a pounding headache, and the sprint from couch to hospital where scans couldn’t agree on what was wrong. What followed was a crash course in uncertainty, quick action, and the kind of mindset you only really believe in when you have to use it. We talk through the moment the words wouldn’t come, the strange “floaty” feeling, and the relief of small wins that prove the brain can rewire faster than fear predicts.
You’ll hear how we turned anger and fear into fuel by letting emotions move instead of bottling them up. We share the cognitive drills that bumped reading speed from 130 to 210 words per minute in days, why rest counts as training, and how to frame setbacks without slipping into victimhood. On the caregiver side, we call out the quiet traps—doing too much, speaking too slowly, over‑articulating—and offer a better approach: invite attempts, protect dignity, and support without smothering. Clear feedback became our compass, along with humor that kept tension from stealing our energy.
We also zoom out to reprioritize life. Health and relationship rise to the top; busywork falls away. Ambition stays, but the timeline breathes. Along the way, we share updates on our Lucidium World app—an AI‑powered, metaphysical space with learning modules, practitioners, and a playful world that turns curiosity into growth—plus details on early access and pre‑launch perks. If you or someone you love is navigating recovery, this conversation offers practical tools, perspective shifts, and a reminder that the story you tell yourself shapes the body you rebuild. Subscribe, share with someone who needs strength today, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway so we can bring more of what helps.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_05 (01:08):
Good morning, everybody.
Welcome back to the SpiritualGrind.
SPEAKER_00 (01:11):
Good morning.
SPEAKER_05 (01:13):
We are back in studio after a catastrophic
event.
SPEAKER_00 (01:19):
To say the least.
SPEAKER_05 (01:21):
Yeah, I know it's hard to believe.
SPEAKER_00 (01:23):
It's been a whirlwind.
SPEAKER_05 (01:24):
It has.
Just so you guys know, you'llprobably hear it one day.
I don't know, but uh I did havea stroke.
Actually two.
SPEAKER_00 (01:32):
Actually, two, yeah.
That's what we've been doing forthe last week.
SPEAKER_05 (01:37):
Yeah, we ended up in the hospital.
Well, I started having weirdconfusion episodes on Wednesday
last week, and then uh Sundayabout one o'clock in the
morning, I woke up with ablasting headache, and next
thing you know, we're in thehospital, and I've got all this
metallic stuff being shoved inmy veins and going through all
(01:58):
sorts of things, and so I'm I'mdoing some recovery and I'm
actually doing quite well.
I actually think that Jennysaved my life and and stopped
it.
We got it stopped quick enough.
And uh so I I do have a littlebit of slow processing going on,
but it has been uh it's been a alittle bit of a journey and my
my mind gets tired quickly.
(02:19):
But yeah.
Anyway, hey, you know what?
Once I get this all done, I'mgonna write a book because there
are things that I havediscovered now with the new
processes in my brain of thatcould help people go down the
road, and I think I'll I willI'll write a book about it for
sure.
SPEAKER_00 (02:34):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (02:35):
Because you know, like for example, I had for many
years, this is a good a goodthing to really recognize is I
had this spot in the back of myhead that I I had no feeling in
my scalp.
SPEAKER_02 (02:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (02:47):
And and then after the stroke I can now feel it all
again.
SPEAKER_02 (02:50):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (02:51):
And so that tells me that there was some kind of
blockage going on there foryears.
SPEAKER_00 (02:56):
And so you think it's uh physical or energetic or
uh well, Jerry's still out onthat.
SPEAKER_05 (03:06):
Don't know yet.
No, don't know yet.
It's uh uh definitely uh it wasa wide opening for me because
then on top of that we heardthat all of my blood work is
good.
Um except for my cholesterol wasa little bit elevated.
SPEAKER_02 (03:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (03:20):
And everything that was up was because what they
did.
They the it it purposely raisedmy numbers on some of my labs on
purpose.
And so it's been kind of crazy.
It's like a roller coaster ride.
Don't really understand.
Um, don't really care to know.
I just know that uh that I willnot ever allow myself to lay
(03:42):
down and lick my wounds.
SPEAKER_00 (03:43):
And so Yeah, you've never really been that person,
though.
SPEAKER_05 (03:46):
I'm not a quitter.
SPEAKER_00 (03:47):
You just are always a go-getter, and you get up and
dust yourself off and beginagain.
SPEAKER_05 (03:55):
And it it kind of brings me to a couple things.
First of all, I love my wife,and you are the most amazing
person in the world.
SPEAKER_00 (04:03):
I love you.
SPEAKER_05 (04:04):
You have saved you saved my life.
And you know that what it doesthough, uh, actually having a
stroke?
It makes me emotional.
So I may cry on on demand, whoknows?
But we'll see.
See what happens.
SPEAKER_00 (04:16):
That might come in handy if you ever became an
actor.
SPEAKER_05 (04:19):
Yeah, you know, yeah.
We are gonna be shooting somecommercials here soon for the
app.
Right, yeah.
Um but anyway, thank you verymuch for what you've done for me
and and for being my definite myfoundation, my stable during all
this, because yeah, I am back.
SPEAKER_00 (04:39):
Yes, you are, and and the milestones that you're
achieving in just uh couple ofshort days.
Oh yeah.
Uh we just got out of that.
So today is Friday.
SPEAKER_05 (04:51):
We went home Wednesday night.
SPEAKER_00 (04:53):
We just got out of the hospital on Tuesday night
late.
SPEAKER_05 (04:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:59):
At about what, 7, 7:30?
SPEAKER_05 (05:02):
Yeah.
I lay down at 9.08.
SPEAKER_00 (05:04):
Yeah, to go to bed.
And so Wednesday and Thursdaywere your first two days home.
SPEAKER_05 (05:12):
Yeah, you know, it was kind of crazy, you know,
some some and so we're stillvery early on.
SPEAKER_00 (05:18):
And I mean, to me, the strides that you're already
making as far as normalcy arehuge.
Yeah.
You know, like that first daywhere we went out and we had to
go pick up your prescriptions,yeah, which was the very next
morning, you wanted to I have todrive for a little bit.
SPEAKER_05 (05:39):
Yeah, they took my driving away until Monday.
SPEAKER_00 (05:41):
Yeah, it makes him crazy.
SPEAKER_05 (05:44):
I can blame that on the stroke.
SPEAKER_00 (05:47):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (05:49):
But anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (05:50):
Anyway, he doesn't like uh he doesn't like me
driving.
No.
Um I don't drive bad to set therecord straight.
But I just don't drive like someHall Benton.
SPEAKER_05 (06:03):
Because it depends on how you define that, really.
SPEAKER_00 (06:06):
I probably drive more like conservatively for
sure.
I follow the rules.
SPEAKER_05 (06:11):
Yeah.
Anyway, so I guess I navigatedher all day.
SPEAKER_00 (06:15):
That's right.
You wanted to navigate me fromplace to place and did uh
amazingly at it.
Didn't miss a beat.
And the brain, the areas of yourbrain that you had to utilize at
the same time to do that is uhis very remarkable.
SPEAKER_05 (06:38):
I 100% believe that it's going to completely clear
off out of my brain.
Yeah.
I just I don't know.
I just have that feeling.
SPEAKER_00 (06:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (06:45):
Um and I think it's gonna be an amazing recovery.
SPEAKER_00 (06:49):
Would you say that one of the helpful things is
your mindset?
SPEAKER_05 (06:55):
Definitely.
Yeah.
Um, you know, staying positive.
Yeah, you know, because it itwas a catastrophic event.
And you know, I remember thefeeling of it when we were
sitting on the couch and and uhI I couldn't make sense of
anything.
Yeah, it was like I couldn't Iwas completely confused.
Yeah, I was there, I waspresent, I could hear you, I
(07:16):
could hear me, but nothing I Iwas trying to say or heard made
any sense whatsoever.
SPEAKER_02 (07:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (07:23):
It was like like uh I mean I even tried to answer a
text message.
SPEAKER_02 (07:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (07:27):
And I I was like, I can't even read this, I have no
clue what it says.
SPEAKER_02 (07:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (07:32):
But it was uh definitely a little bit of a uh
crazy journey.
SPEAKER_00 (07:38):
Yeah, and I think uh the part I wanna share is we're
human too, and so don't get uswrong, we went through our
phases of being um mad about it,pissed off about it.
You know, this is not fair,emotional fear.
SPEAKER_05 (07:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:59):
Um, but I think some of the things we do differently
than what uh some folks do.
We allow ourselves to expressthose emotions.
Yeah.
And so when the tears come, weallow them to come.
When the fear comes, we allow itto come and we talk through it.
SPEAKER_05 (08:18):
Yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_00 (08:19):
And when the anger comes and the this is fucking
not fair.
Why is this fucking happening?
SPEAKER_05 (08:26):
I wanted to punch somebody.
SPEAKER_00 (08:27):
We talk through it and we allow that emotion to
come in because holding it backand stuffing it in some box just
means it's gonna come up againand deal with it.
If you just go ahead and allowit presence.
SPEAKER_05 (08:40):
You know, I think the the biggest part of it for
both of us was there was zerothey have no explanation.
SPEAKER_00 (08:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (08:48):
Like there's nothing that says my I mean, my
cholesterol was high, butnothing to a point of a stroke.
SPEAKER_00 (08:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (08:55):
Um, you know, although my blood pressure, my
blood pressure was high, yeah,but not exorbitantly high.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (09:01):
Like if I would have gone to the hospital prior to
the stroke, they would have justsent me home.
SPEAKER_00 (09:05):
Yeah, and and the listeners know that for a few
weeks, we prior to that, we'dbeen working with your blood
pressure.
SPEAKER_04 (09:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:14):
And yeah, within that, there was a couple of
spikes.
But for overall, they that wasat the very beginning.
Yeah.
They actually are keeping ithigh right now, a little high.
I say high.
It's running in the 140s over90s.
SPEAKER_05 (09:31):
Yeah, when yeah, they she told me when she's
trying to keep it 150 over 80.
Yeah, and she wants it to be alittle higher.
SPEAKER_00 (09:37):
Yeah, it's running around there.
SPEAKER_05 (09:39):
She doesn't want the diastolic number very high, but
she does want it, you know, inthe 80 to 85.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:45):
I mean, that's that was and the reality is that we
achieved pretty close to thosenumbers uh weeks prior to that,
yeah.
Yeah on uh on a on a prettyregular basis with what I was
doing herbally at home.
And so I don't know that theywould have been able to even
(10:08):
pre-determine if we in otherwords, if we'd gone to urgent
care with your blood pressure orgone to the ER with your blood
pressure, yeah, I don't knowthat they would have even really
acknowledged it or doneanything.
So that's the hardest part, Ithink, for you and I.
SPEAKER_05 (10:27):
No, it was hard.
SPEAKER_00 (10:29):
There was no it's it feels very sudden and it feels
very blindsided.
SPEAKER_05 (10:35):
Yeah, it was definitely hard.
SPEAKER_00 (10:36):
There was no definite.
I mean, I have 24 years ofmedical training, and for me,
what I battle with is did I doenough soon enough?
And so I I I battle with thatbecause in this journey, you
(10:57):
know, I'm doing my strokechecks, I'm doing my
neurovascular checks, and therewas no traditional textbook even
the doctors at the hospital,they did the stroke test, and
and they're like, Oh my god,you're strong.
That's right.
You're right.
He did.
SPEAKER_05 (11:15):
They did it multiple times, multiple people did it.
Like everybody's like, I don't Idon't understand.
SPEAKER_00 (11:20):
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, it literally took them.
They they do a CAT scan when youfirst go in, obviously.
But um, even from the CAT scan,they weren't ready to make it a
final decision of, oh yep,that's a stroke period, the end
of sentence, let's move on.
SPEAKER_05 (11:39):
Yeah, at first they thought it may have been a brain
infection or something.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
Or a tumor.
Or a tumor, lesion, you know,whatever.
So they ended up making you doan MRI so they could get better
imaging because they didn't evenknow really what it was at
first.
SPEAKER_05 (11:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:54):
Uh so I mean, I am not surprised that we were
blindsided, but I think that'sthe hardest part.
SPEAKER_05 (12:00):
Yeah, it is.
But you know, here's the coolpart about all of this.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
Do too.
SPEAKER_05 (12:04):
The the best part of this is uh we I get the
opportunity to teach peopleabout how you empower yourself.
SPEAKER_02 (12:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (12:12):
Um and then not allow yourself to be um d
defeated.
You know, being defeated is notthe way to be.
Yeah, you heard that.
We all heard it.
Somebody forgot to quiet her andshe didn't have a stroke, I did.
SPEAKER_00 (12:29):
I did.
I forgot to quiet my phoneagain.
More money in the jar.
SPEAKER_05 (12:35):
The the biggest part of it is is understanding that
you know, your recovery fromthis from anybody, when you're
recovering from any kind ofcatastrophic event, it's all
about your mindset.
And yeah, like like a lot ofpeople, like you said yesterday,
a lot of people just lay downand lick their wounds.
We've I've seen it people dothat.
SPEAKER_00 (12:57):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (12:57):
They just you know, they're just like you just give
up.
They don't oh my god, that's theend of the world.
And you're gonna find out, youknow what's really cool is I'm
gonna get whole new brain stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (13:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (13:09):
You know, like my my vision is so clear.
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (13:12):
You know, there's lots of things that that your
body rew your brine re brainrewires.
Yeah.
And it it can be it's so it's socool, really.
SPEAKER_00 (13:25):
Yeah, it is.
It you know, like I like wetalked about the other day,
people can either go into amental state of uh victimhood
and depression, yeah, which isquite normal to do, but if you
hang out there, you really dointerfere with the prognosis and
the progressive healing.
SPEAKER_05 (13:47):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (13:47):
If you can get yourself past that and say,
Okay, yeah, this happened, yeah,and the best place I can be is
start to find the positives.
SPEAKER_05 (13:56):
Well, when I was at the hospital, when I was in the
hospital, though, I was theyweren't even giving me an answer
yet, but I still was like I waswanting to move and walk around,
go outside, do something.
I just wanted to be moving.
Yeah.
Because you know, that positivemindset, uh, if you allow that
to trigger into you, yeah, itjust the chemical the chemicals
(14:17):
that your brain produce, it it'sa hundred percent healing.
I mean, it will heal and youhave to allow it to be there.
And anything that you do inlife, if you you know, if you
get your butt kicked, I've hadmy butt kicked a bunch of times
in my life.
SPEAKER_03 (14:34):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:34):
You know, I mean, all the way from when I was when
I went to prison to when I whenI won uh when I was worth a
million dollars, millions ofdollars, and then when I went
broke.
I've been there and every butevery time it's about mindset.
SPEAKER_02 (14:47):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:48):
And when you can defeat that negative thought
process within your own mind,because you are the one I'm the
one empowering this.
I I am the one empowering this.
And if you can think you know,uh think properly and have
positive mindset, it it changeseverything.
SPEAKER_02 (15:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (15:08):
Your positive mindset and what I've taught
this class for many, many, manyyears about positive mindset,
and now I'm living it again.
Again.
SPEAKER_02 (15:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (15:17):
And and I will continue to teach it because
positive mindset will changeyour life.
SPEAKER_00 (15:22):
It does, for sure.
And anyway, so if you can justget to that point of yeah, I may
be in a shitty spot and it feelslike shit, but if you can just
give yourself one glimpse a dayof finding that positive outlook
and that positive vibration andmake that the habit.
SPEAKER_05 (15:41):
Yeah, I agree.
SPEAKER_00 (15:42):
Then it's a game changer, man.
It just really is.
SPEAKER_05 (15:45):
I mean, because don't get me wrong.
I mean, I get freakingheadaches, man.
Some of these headaches arebrutal.
SPEAKER_00 (15:50):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (15:50):
You know, you get like cramps and you get shit
that's where from all themedicine they're giving you and
all this other crap.
And it and it can it can take auh uh a turmoil on you.
Um and and y'all bear with mebecause I'm still working on
some words.
But you know, it can be verytormenting to think about it
like golly, when does this getnormal?
(16:12):
And but you just gotta keepposting.
Like this morning when I got up,I actually for the first time
didn't feel floaty.
SPEAKER_02 (16:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (16:19):
Like as it's a part of a stroke is you feel floaty,
like you're dis uh detached fromyour body, kinda.
SPEAKER_00 (16:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (16:27):
And today I'm feel pretty grounded.
SPEAKER_00 (16:30):
Good.
SPEAKER_05 (16:31):
Yeah, and uh it's it's been a pretty uh good
journey so far.
SPEAKER_00 (16:36):
I think the other thing um with the stroke
example, you know, when you goand you have like abdominal
surgery, for example, you can oran abdominal injury or even uh,
you know, a physical injury tothe external part of the body,
you can look at that wound,yeah, and your mind justifies
(16:59):
that, okay, you know what?
I feel a little off or I feellike shit or I feel junky
because of this wound and I'mhealing.
SPEAKER_05 (17:08):
Um one of our coaches is going through the
exact same thing right now.
SPEAKER_00 (17:11):
Well, you give yourself permission to be
slower, yes, to need more rest,to take it easy.
SPEAKER_05 (17:19):
That's tough for me.
SPEAKER_00 (17:20):
It's tough for you, anyways, but when you don't have
that external um, you know, likesurgical incision or that
external wound to remind youthat it's okay to take rest
periods and it's inside yourbrain, for example, in your
case, it sometimes is hard toconceptualize that, you know
(17:43):
what, my brain went through atraumatic event and it in two
places, yeah.
Yeah, and it has an actual woundin two different places.
SPEAKER_05 (17:52):
And they're purposely keeping my blood
pressure high and it stinkinghurts.
SPEAKER_00 (17:56):
And I'm going through a healing process, and
so when I feel like I need torest or even lay down and take a
nap, because I've accomplished acouple of tasks and I feel
exhausted.
SPEAKER_05 (18:10):
Yeah, it does, it is that is one of the things for me
that's really defeating a littlebit that I have to stay positive
about is that is I don't likequitting.
I and so I want to keep going, Iwant to keep going, I want to
keep going, but sometimes it'sjust man, like the other day we
lay down at two o'clock and Ididn't get up until six o'clock
the next morning.
(18:30):
Right, and it was okay, youknow, because I had to, but it
is what it is, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (18:35):
Right, yeah.
Because you've always been thatjust push through.
Yeah, I've always been thatstill freaking ragged, just push
through.
I mean, I've seen you get upwith uh bronchitis and get up
high fever, I've done all sortsof stuff.
Go to freaking work and I cannottalk you off the ledge, man.
SPEAKER_05 (18:55):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (18:55):
And uh so what I see is is that you're listening more
to your body and honoring whatit needs and taking those
results.
SPEAKER_05 (19:03):
Yeah, the perseverance behind it is is uh
different.
You know, you have to do itdifferently now because like my
mind is there.
SPEAKER_01 (19:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (19:14):
Um there are it's all there.
It just like it processes alittle bit slower right now.
Yeah.
And I'm doing it and on purpose,you know, according to the other
doctors are they're doing thingson purpose.
SPEAKER_02 (19:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (19:26):
Because they want me to have good solid blood flow in
my brain.
SPEAKER_00 (19:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (19:31):
And when I try to process things and get going too
fast and I get too tired, thenit slows that stuff down.
SPEAKER_00 (19:37):
That's right.
Yeah.
And so you're you're honoringwhere your body is.
Yes.
And that makes me feel better,obviously.
SPEAKER_05 (19:43):
I'm trying, I'm doing my best.
It's and because it is tough,it's hard for me to stop.
SPEAKER_00 (19:47):
Yeah, you're definitely not a sit still, no,
oh my god, guys, listen, when wewere in the hospital for that
few days, there was no windowsto the outside.
It was in a it was in a unittype thing, and they wouldn't
let him off the unit, and it wasa smaller unit.
I was like, Well, we can walkthe halls, and it literally was
(20:09):
like this little bitty tinyhorseshoe shape.
And he was like, I just need Ineed to get out of here.
And I was like, They're notgonna let you off the unit.
They wouldn't I just want to golook outside, look out the
window.
I'm sorry, it's just not gonnahappen right now.
Well, they can't tell me what Ican do.
I'm like, okay, listen.
SPEAKER_05 (20:27):
And then I I went to the doors and I could see out
the doors when I you wereasleep.
And I walked out and I waswalking around the thing, and
then I went looked out the door,and then the window that's there
is covered because they're doingconstruction.
SPEAKER_00 (20:37):
That's right.
SPEAKER_05 (20:38):
I was like, son of a Yeah.
Couldn't see nothing.
SPEAKER_00 (20:42):
So there were aggravating moments, especially
for you, because you're just ayou're you're a go-getter.
I was a case.
And you don't you don't sitstill well, but you're doing
very well.
You're honoring your body anddoing my best.
Like on our first day home, youwere like, Wow, it took it out
of me to go to the store, getprescriptions.
(21:03):
We had to pick up a few thingsat the grocery store.
SPEAKER_05 (21:06):
And then I was done.
SPEAKER_00 (21:07):
And then you were just kind of done.
SPEAKER_05 (21:09):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (21:10):
And I think for a minute it was like, Wow, am I
gonna you had made thestatement.
Am I ever gonna be normal again?
SPEAKER_05 (21:16):
Oh yeah, you but you had the monkey mind.
You know, that monkey mind cancome from nowhere.
SPEAKER_00 (21:20):
But you just take it moment at a time.
Yeah.
And day by day it gets betterand better.
SPEAKER_05 (21:25):
And it's no matter what it is, if it's a stroke, if
it's a car accident, if it's adivorce, if it's whatever it is,
you know, it's about it's aboutkeeping staying positive and uh
understanding that your pempowerment, uh your
self-empowerment to staypositive in your mindset is the
(21:45):
will change the way any recoveryhappens.
SPEAKER_00 (21:49):
Absolutely.
Yeah, it's a hundred percentmindset.
Yeah.
And that's why we are can wecontinue on a regular basis to
try and teach and get the wordout of the you know the the
power of the mind and doing thepositive mindset workshops that
(22:09):
we do and once once I getcompletely healed, I'll I'll put
on another clinic and I willdefinitely teach people because
your your decision to make theright thing today or the right
your decision to make the rightdecision today that's positive
mindset, no matter what it'sabout, it will change your
(22:31):
outcome on anything that you do.
SPEAKER_05 (22:33):
Yeah and and I'm I'm sitting here preaching it right
now because I will not lay downand lick my wounds.
Yeah, I won't do it.
Yeah, I mean you're I mean whatwhat what's the purpose of it?
SPEAKER_00 (22:44):
You're rocking walking the road, man.
SPEAKER_05 (22:47):
Yeah, and I'll I'll uh continue to teach people and
and help every chance I get.
SPEAKER_00 (22:53):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_05 (22:54):
For sure.
So that's kind of where mymindset is today with is
understanding the positivethought and how powerful it is.
SPEAKER_01 (23:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (23:02):
You know, I used to I I used to say one thing, and
the only thing today that cancome empower you stronger for
tomorrow is your mindset today.
SPEAKER_02 (23:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (23:12):
And when when you get to the point that you
understand that how the theenergy frequency of positive
power in your mindset and thedifference between saying I'll
be okay or an I am okay is waydifferent.
(23:33):
Yeah.
And like, you know, like even atthe hospital, I told the the
doctor, I I don't care.
Because I am okay.
SPEAKER_00 (23:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (23:43):
I will be just fine.
SPEAKER_00 (23:44):
I don't care what you say, I'm okay.
That's right.
I'm I'm okay.
I'm better.
SPEAKER_05 (23:49):
Slow down.
You need to do this, you need todo that.
You're right, I will, but I'mgonna do it three times faster
than anybody else.
SPEAKER_00 (23:54):
That's right.
SPEAKER_05 (23:54):
This is because of how that's how I am.
SPEAKER_00 (23:56):
Do you find that your perspective on trivial
things or minor things andworrying about them has changed
at all?
SPEAKER_05 (24:06):
Totally.
SPEAKER_00 (24:06):
Yeah, it changed my Do you find that some things
that you were seeing as highimportance have lowered on the
priority list of things to likebe concerned about?
Oh wait.
SPEAKER_05 (24:20):
Does that change any?
I wouldn't say that it changed alot of things.
What what it did was is itpre-re-prioritized things.
Right.
You know, like the moreimportant things is uh are are
you, you know, and me.
That's the most important thing.
SPEAKER_01 (24:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (24:34):
And everything else is really, you know, is it now
gets pre-reprioritized down heresomewhere else.
SPEAKER_01 (24:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (24:40):
And that's okay.
Because it used to be I was justgo-getter, I was doing
everything.
I was everything was beingcompleted to 100%.
SPEAKER_00 (24:49):
Oh, mo most of the time.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (24:54):
And and all it does is cause uh a diminished mental
state when you when you put thatmuch weight in your own plate
and or you do that much toyourself that you have to really
accomplish all of this stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (25:12):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (25:13):
And why?
SPEAKER_02 (25:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:15):
Because I mean, don't get me wrong, we're gonna
accomplish all of our goals inlife forever.
Right.
But I don't have to do it all atthe same time now.
Yeah, right.
It reprioritizes things, that'sfor sure.
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:26):
But anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (25:28):
Very good.
SPEAKER_05 (25:29):
Yeah, and I I I feel pretty complete.
unknown (25:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:33):
Yeah, our biggest thing was, you know, because we
haven't done a podcast in twoweeks.
About two weeks now, justbecause of the journey we've
been on.
SPEAKER_05 (25:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:45):
And I said, we need to probably get back on the
horse this morning and startnormalizing life.
And so we decided we would geton and we're gonna put this one
up and we're gonna publish it.
SPEAKER_05 (25:56):
We're gonna put it out so people can hear it.
SPEAKER_00 (25:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:58):
Um it's not something that I'm embarrassed
by anything.
Yeah, if you're because I am Ipromise you, if you were to walk
up to me in the street, youwould have no idea that I had a
stroke a week ago.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
Yeah, but just so that everybody knows, there you
did kind of go through that alittle bit.
The first uh the first kind ofum I guess outing and the first
meeting we had to do coming up.
SPEAKER_05 (26:19):
Oh my gosh, that was the very first day home.
SPEAKER_00 (26:21):
You were nervous.
SPEAKER_05 (26:22):
We had to do an app meeting, and I was you know, I
was processing shit slow.
SPEAKER_00 (26:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (26:27):
In my mind, I was doing it slow, but to them it
was like normal.
SPEAKER_00 (26:31):
Right.
And that's what I was trying tohelp you um kind of understand
is that I'm the outsider lookingin, and I would never even know
at this point, or even on thatday, the day after you got home
from the hospital.
You you can't it's not somethingyou can pick up on unless you
(26:51):
went through the journey withyou and you know it.
SPEAKER_01 (26:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (26:55):
But you were worried that they would know, and that
was kind of a littlenerve-wracking, right?
SPEAKER_05 (26:59):
Yeah, it's still it's still creates a little
anxiety.
SPEAKER_00 (27:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (27:02):
Um, that I'm gonna say the wrong thing, or because
I technically right now I have aa uh card that's in my wallet
that says I can say stupid shit.
SPEAKER_00 (27:11):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (27:12):
And get away with it if I want to.
And have an excuse.
And have an excuse card.
SPEAKER_00 (27:17):
Yeah, we talked about that yesterday on our
little walk.
You said I have a card basicallythat lets me be uh Yeah, like
the idiot.
SPEAKER_05 (27:26):
Oh my god.
We're we're at a walk yesterdayevening.
Yeah, and we're we're it was myfirst really walk back as we
came home.
We did the walk, but it was likea little small one because I had
headache.
And we meet this guy, and he's Iwas like, I was like, How you
doing today?
You know, just in passing.
And he starts complaining abouthaving a bruised ankle.
SPEAKER_04 (27:46):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (27:48):
And Jenny said, Yeah, he had two fucking strokes
two days ago.
So it's like, you know, it waskind of like I didn't say it to
him.
SPEAKER_00 (27:56):
No, it was something you and I said when we laughed
about it.
Because if you can't laugh aboutstuff, man, and I have a
permission card.
SPEAKER_05 (28:04):
I could have said something really shitty.
SPEAKER_00 (28:05):
You could have, you for sure could have, because
then I followed that up with,yeah, I have a fucking pacemaker
and he had two strokes two daysago or a day ago.
Uh, you know, cry me a fuckingriver.
SPEAKER_05 (28:17):
Crammy a river, by the way.
SPEAKER_00 (28:18):
What I said, and then we laughed about it.
But uh, you know, that's justour way.
We try to find jokes and fun andways to maneuver the the
situation.
SPEAKER_05 (28:32):
But you know it is what it is, and and uh I'm I'm
happy for for where I am.
Yeah, I'm happy for what is whatis changing in my life.
SPEAKER_00 (28:40):
Gosh, yeah.
You know what?
SPEAKER_05 (28:42):
I am so proud of you because finding a proud moment
in all of this, you know, for meis accepting the fact that hey,
you know what?
I get to learn some new shit.
SPEAKER_02 (28:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (28:54):
And I get to, you know, I get to experience a part
of my body that a lot of peoplenever have the opportunity to
understand.
SPEAKER_02 (29:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (29:01):
I get to I get to train brand new brain cells to
do things.
SPEAKER_02 (29:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (29:06):
And it's it's really kind of cool, actually.
SPEAKER_02 (29:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (29:10):
Because I have been, you know, I've been going
through all these little braingames from on the phone and
stuff from after stokes in astroke, and I've I've I've I've
already like scored 99% of allof these things.
SPEAKER_00 (29:21):
Well, and that's one of the things you did right
away, uh, was you downloaded astroke app and got going
immediately on your mind work.
SPEAKER_05 (29:34):
Right.
And I was I'm I'm already up to210 words a minute on the
reading, which is more than 90thpercentile of most people's
reading.
SPEAKER_00 (29:41):
Right, yeah, because in the hospital when you
downloaded the app it's 130, Icould all I could do.
SPEAKER_05 (29:47):
I found and I I failed like four times in a row.
SPEAKER_00 (29:50):
Yeah, you struggled with the 130.
SPEAKER_05 (29:52):
And I'm at 210 this morning.
SPEAKER_00 (29:54):
And I remember you saying, Am I ever gonna be
normal?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (29:57):
And now you're you're yeah, I'm impatient.
It's been like four days,whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (30:01):
It well, no, because this is Friday.
Yeah.
You just got discharged onTuesday.
Tuesday.
This is the third day, themorning of the third day.
SPEAKER_05 (30:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:11):
I think uh, you know, I I have to remind him
guys often of how many days it'sbeen.
Because it's uh there's timeswhere it feels like it's been
forever.
SPEAKER_05 (30:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:22):
And then there's times where it's like, you know,
this just happened two days ago.
SPEAKER_05 (30:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Take give yourself a break.
SPEAKER_05 (30:29):
Yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_00 (30:31):
And as the co-partner in it, um, I know one
of the things that I have towork with is not being uh mother
hen.
SPEAKER_05 (30:45):
Yeah.
It's okay.
You're I'm giving you theopportunity.
SPEAKER_00 (30:48):
Yeah, it reminds me of raising the kids.
You know, I didn't uh I I letthem explore and do, and if they
got it right, yay, great.
If they didn't, we reevaluatedand they got to pick a different
way to try it.
If we made a mess, we cleanedthe mess up.
(31:09):
Yeah, and I really had to stopmyself and say, Okay, you know
what?
We gotta do it this way becausehe needs it and because I need
it.
Yeah.
And um, so I did.
I had to stop myself because Iwent through uh my trauma in it
as the as the co-partner, yeah,was uh I went through some fear.
(31:35):
Oh yeah, we both did.
Oh my gosh.
And um not wanting And I feltbad.
SPEAKER_05 (31:40):
I felt because of what I what happened to you, the
fear in it and the right.
SPEAKER_00 (31:45):
We had to work through the guilt on both sides
because I went through a momentof did I do enough?
Did I cause this?
Did I delay and cause this?
SPEAKER_05 (31:54):
You know, like the one thing that I've jumped into
thinking about is like what didI do to cause all this?
And that that's you can't fallin that mindset.
SPEAKER_00 (32:01):
No, you can't stay there very long.
SPEAKER_05 (32:03):
It can be very depleting.
SPEAKER_00 (32:05):
You gotta you gotta pop right back out of that.
SPEAKER_05 (32:08):
Because the reality is is the doctors all said that
couldn't tell you reallyanything.
SPEAKER_00 (32:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (32:12):
They can tell me what it caused it, why it was
there.
Yeah, it was just weird.
And like and I started havingjust random high blood pressure
for no freaking reason.
SPEAKER_00 (32:19):
Yep.
It just popped on one day.
SPEAKER_05 (32:21):
Just for no reason out of the blue.
SPEAKER_00 (32:23):
Yeah, yeah.
And it is what it is when andyou we we're and so one of the
things I can speak about aboutmy side of the journey.
I don't know how we are on time,but I just wanted to review this
real quick.
Um, because as a caretaker or asa partner of someone who has
gone through this, it'straumatizing to that person as
(32:46):
well.
And if you're not careful, youcan get hung up in the fear
place.
SPEAKER_05 (32:52):
Yeah, it's easy to get caught up in in both
directions.
SPEAKER_00 (32:55):
Um and then what happens if you do that is you
start treating the other personlike they are not capable.
Yeah.
And that's not beneficial tothem because then it makes them
feel like they are sickly orthey're not gonna be normal and
and they can lose theirconfidence.
(33:17):
And but for you, if you don'tsnap yourself out of that fear
place, it makes you take onthere are times it pops in.
Yeah, there are.
But I'm not gonna do everythingfor you like you're some
invalid.
SPEAKER_04 (33:33):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (33:34):
But people I've seen them do that.
Yeah, they uh they begin to teto treat the person like they
can't do anything, and the nextthing you know, they've taken
over the caregiver role, andthey wear themselves out putting
on the shoes and the socks, andyeah, and this person is capable
(33:57):
of bending over and putting ontheir own socks and shoes, for
God's sakes.
I'm cooking supper tonight, soand it's not beneficial for
either person.
So if you are going throughsomething like this and you feel
like as the as the partner whodidn't have the experience, that
you are exhausted and you'reoverwhelmed or you're
(34:19):
overworked, stop and reallyanalyze the situation and say to
yourself, you know, yes, thishappened to this person that I
love, but are they reallycapable of doing some of these
things I'm doing for them?
And and recognize that it wouldbe beneficial to let them do
(34:42):
that so they can reestablishtheir own confidence healing.
And you can clean your plate andcome out of that caregiver role
and begin the supportive spouseor friend or whatever role
again.
SPEAKER_05 (35:00):
Yeah, well, that's the same thing we used to teach
about tough love.
Sometimes, you know, they theylabel it as tough love when it's
really not tough love.
It's really just peoplebalancing out their prisms or
their what word am I trying tothink of?
SPEAKER_00 (35:15):
Uh tell me when you want it.
SPEAKER_05 (35:18):
Go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (35:19):
Pendulum.
SPEAKER_05 (35:20):
Pendulum.
Yeah, they're balancing outtheir pendulums again.
And where you they're in themiddle of a negotiation of
finding new grounded space thatis a pendulum of complete
correctness.
And so, like for me, like me andnot allowing you to do
(35:41):
everything for me is a pendulumfor me, and you accepting it is
a pendulum for you because nowyou're also going to clarify and
remove the fears.
SPEAKER_00 (35:51):
Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_05 (35:52):
And that's what it's about because that fears can be
tough, man.
SPEAKER_00 (35:55):
Yeah, and then there's just one other small
tiny thing I wanted to talkabout in this because it's very
comical, but you brought it tomy awareness.
SPEAKER_01 (36:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (36:05):
Um not treating the person like they're not able to
relearn.
SPEAKER_04 (36:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (36:15):
And what I mean by that, one of the things that I
did not know I was doing when Iwould say words to you, oh yeah,
I would over-articulate them.
Yeah, you because I so I becauseI still feel my nursing side pop
(36:36):
in every once in a while.
And I'm like, you know, howespecially that first day right
before we came home, I was likeuh doing some testing on you
myself just to make myself feelbetter.
And I would say, uh, can you saythe word ball?
(36:58):
And I was over-articulated.
Like I was deaf or something.
Like you couldn't likecomprehend what I was saying.
It was previously and you calledme on it, and rightfully so.
SPEAKER_05 (37:07):
You talked to me like a normal person.
SPEAKER_00 (37:09):
Right.
You said, you know, my hearingis not bad.
My I can understand what you'resaying, but you're saying the
word in such a weird way.
Yeah, I don't know what you'resaying, but it's not because my
brain is not working, it'sbecause it made zero sense what
you're saying.
SPEAKER_05 (37:25):
It was like I didn't know how you said it.
I was I was like, How did youeven say that?
I don't even know.
SPEAKER_00 (37:30):
I was overpronouncing it because I
wasn't sure.
Like it's a learning experiencefor everybody.
It was funny.
It was a good job.
Yeah.
So he brought it to myattention.
I was like, holy shit, he'sright.
I am.
I'm like doing this whole otherlanguage that probably is hard
to understand.
So if you are someone that hasgone through the injury and you
(37:55):
find that your partner is doingthings that are not helpful,
right.
Right.
And it would be helpful if youwould let me.
Or hey, you're doing this andit's not helpful.
SPEAKER_05 (38:14):
I think the biggest thing for me is is understanding
that I'm injured.
SPEAKER_00 (38:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (38:17):
I'm I'm not dead.
I'm not um I'm not able to dothings.
You know, I I am I am injured.
And I'm just injured andtemporarily injured.
SPEAKER_00 (38:30):
That's right.
And so, you know, it's And youbeing able to voice to me when
I'm doing something that's notbeneficial or that you can't
even fucking understand.
SPEAKER_05 (38:38):
And I was like, what the fuck do you say?
And so that's what I wanted toput out there too, too because
it made me feel like I was like,was I missing that made me think
I was doing something wrong or Iwasn't comprehending again.
SPEAKER_00 (38:48):
Right.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_05 (38:49):
And I'm like, the fuck?
You know, right, but anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (38:53):
And so I give those people that have had these
catastrophic catastrophic eventshappen to them, yeah, injury,
trauma, I give you permission totell your partner, hey, you're
doing this thing, yeah, and it'snot helpful.
Or I wish you would let me doit.
Let me at least try.
Yeah, because there's been timesas well in our new little
(39:17):
journey here that you've said,no, let me try first.
Let me do it, yeah.
Let me try first, let me andit's all coming right back.
SPEAKER_05 (39:25):
So it's not like it's I mean, I mean, hell, I'm
sit I'm three days home and thenwe're doing a podcast again.
SPEAKER_00 (39:30):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_05 (39:32):
And and when just a week ago I couldn't process two
freaking words.
SPEAKER_00 (39:36):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (39:37):
And and I don't mean I I don't mean it.
Let me let me rephrase that.
I I had a g a few glimpses ofconfusion.
And that and that's what andthat's something I want to talk
about about this with strokepeople, and so they will
understand that a stroke canlast five seconds.
Actually, two seconds.
Yeah, because that's whathappened to me.
(39:59):
Is I it it was literally lessthan 30 seconds of confusion,
and then everything was back tonormal.
And then I but then it feltweird.
It was just like a weird thing,and so like no this stroke
prevention.
SPEAKER_00 (40:11):
And did you say in your mind that you heard what I
was saying?
It's just that you couldn'tprocess the information to get
it from your brain to yourmouth.
SPEAKER_05 (40:21):
That's one hundred percent.
SPEAKER_00 (40:22):
And so it wasn't even like you were completely.
Yeah, it was just like youcouldn't make the communication.
SPEAKER_05 (40:31):
It's kind of it's kind of a weird thing to
understand, is because it was Iwas completely comprehending
everything that was being said.
Even at the lady at the At theuh the tech that admissions,
everything she said, I couldcompletely process.
But when it comes toarticulating anything back, that
(40:52):
just wasn't happening.
SPEAKER_00 (40:54):
And then one of the other things you said was when
you tried to multitask.
SPEAKER_05 (40:58):
Yeah, yeah, I couldn't do more than one thing
at a time.
SPEAKER_00 (41:00):
And then you tried to do more than one thing at a
time.
SPEAKER_05 (41:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (41:02):
Which now you're much better at in just a couple
of days.
SPEAKER_05 (41:06):
Oh yeah, I'm I'm totally coming back quickly.
SPEAKER_00 (41:08):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (41:09):
Um, I mean I it's it's no it's just a a healing
process, and I I believe that Iwill be 100% healed in the next
ten days.
SPEAKER_00 (41:18):
That's the key, man.
SPEAKER_05 (41:19):
And I I I know it.
And I and I there's no doubt inmy mind that this little image
that's in my brain thatsupposedly is damaged, I think
it's gonna come right back andit's gonna act like it was never
there.
SPEAKER_00 (41:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (41:31):
Because I I believe that.
SPEAKER_00 (41:32):
Yeah.
And that's the key.
SPEAKER_05 (41:35):
It is the key.
Anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (41:36):
That's and that stuff's been documented with
other people.
SPEAKER_05 (41:39):
Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_00 (41:40):
You know, like Christopher Reeves and I mean a
lot of them have stories wherethey used their mind when other
parts of their body didn't work,and they created how they wanted
their reality to be until theyactually were physically able to
achieve that, and they did notlet anybody or anything bear
them from that.
SPEAKER_05 (42:01):
There ain't nothing gonna get in my way, I promise
you that.
SPEAKER_00 (42:03):
That's right.
SPEAKER_05 (42:03):
Nothing's gonna help me.
Nothing's gonna help nothing'sgonna help stop me.
SPEAKER_00 (42:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (42:07):
And I I plan on being able to help people
somewhere down the road withthis.
SPEAKER_00 (42:11):
Yeah, and so it is good.
SPEAKER_05 (42:13):
But anyway, well, um, so real quick update
lucidiumworld.com.
You can check it out.
It's our new app.
Uh the Salty Tarot has migratedinto Lucidium World, and it's a
really cool app.
Oh my god, it's gonna havemetaphysical practitioners, it's
gonna have a store, we're gonnahave gamified avatars, it's
(42:34):
gonna be a mystical world ofjust fun, exciting, and
learning.
We have the video of light, orthe I'm sorry, the library of
light, which is a uh buildingthat's gonna have video modules
where you can learn um aboutdifferent things, and we're
gonna have all the you know,it's it's really just a cool
thing.
SPEAKER_00 (42:53):
Yeah, it's turned into a really amazing thing.
SPEAKER_05 (42:56):
It's AI powered, it's gonna be like your higher
self right there, just in yourpalm of your hand on your phone.
Absolutely.
It's really a cool thing.
Uh we're very excited about it.
We are and I will be updatingthe uh um Lucidingworld.com, the
domain, all the information.
I have new images of all thephone, you know, because uh the
coders when they create thecoding, they give me images of
(43:19):
what looks like in the phone.
SPEAKER_00 (43:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:20):
And so I'm gonna put that on the website so people
can actually see it, see whatit's gonna look like.
SPEAKER_00 (43:24):
See the progress of it and everything.
SPEAKER_05 (43:25):
Yeah, it's gonna be a three-phase rollout.
Phase one is eight buildings,uh, phase two is seven
buildings, and then phase threeis eight buildings.
And so we have a you know atotal of all that, and then and
then there's gonna be all sortsof cool things coming to we have
Alien World, the uh cryptidzone.
(43:47):
Yep, we have uh things coming upand it's gonna be lots of fun.
But anyway, check it outwww.lucidiumworld.com.
And if you really, really wantto, you can check out our
website as well atw.themercenters.org.
And uh go and subscribe onLucidium World and uh we'll give
(44:07):
you might give you the free umtrial run for the beta testing.
SPEAKER_00 (44:13):
For the beta, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (44:15):
And we will start doing some discounted um ability
for the for the practitionersthat want to sign up.
SPEAKER_03 (44:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (44:22):
Uh we'll do this uh if they'll if they sign up
pre-launch, then we will do somediscounted pricing for them.
SPEAKER_03 (44:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (44:28):
And then also for people that want to subscribe
early, we're gonna give you someheck of good discounts for the
first year off.
So that'll be coming up soon aswell.
SPEAKER_00 (44:37):
And as always, you can get my book on Amazon
scripted from within.
SPEAKER_05 (44:42):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (44:43):
And then uh if you want to really go into rabbit
hole areas, you can read myarticles that I produce on
Blogger.
SPEAKER_05 (44:50):
Do the edge and back with Dr.
Genie.
SPEAKER_00 (44:52):
Yeah, yeah.
Good stuff.
SPEAKER_05 (44:54):
So that's on Blogger, by the way.
SPEAKER_00 (44:56):
Yeah, that's on Blogger.
SPEAKER_05 (44:57):
And it's actually on all the blog sites, but Blogger
puts it all as the one.
It's Blogger, Blogger is likethe thing for the podcast where
it puts everything at the sameplace.
SPEAKER_00 (45:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (45:07):
It just puts it on blog sites.
SPEAKER_00 (45:10):
So there you have it.
SPEAKER_05 (45:12):
Anyway, don't forget to like, follow, and share, and
tell your friends about all thegood stuff going on, and y'all
pay attention and uh for theupdates on the stroke prevention
stuff, because I am gonna putthat out there.
I am gonna definitely teach itbecause I have lived through it
and I know what it felt like.
SPEAKER_02 (45:27):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (45:28):
100%.
And if I can help one person,then I've done my job.
SPEAKER_00 (45:32):
Yeah, awesome.
SPEAKER_05 (45:33):
Anyway, don't forget to like, follow, share, and ring
that bell.
Hey, y'all have an awesome day.
SPEAKER_00 (45:38):
Love ya.
Good morning, everybody.
Welcome back to the SpiritualGrind.
SPEAKER_00 (01:11):
Good morning.
SPEAKER_05 (01:13):
We are back in studio after a catastrophic
event.
SPEAKER_00 (01:19):
To say the least.
SPEAKER_05 (01:21):
Yeah, I know it's hard to believe.
SPEAKER_00 (01:23):
It's been a whirlwind.
SPEAKER_05 (01:24):
It has.
Just so you guys know, you'llprobably hear it one day.
I don't know, but uh I did havea stroke.
Actually two.
SPEAKER_00 (01:32):
Actually, two, yeah.
That's what we've been doing forthe last week.
SPEAKER_05 (01:37):
Yeah, we ended up in the hospital.
Well, I started having weirdconfusion episodes on Wednesday
last week, and then uh Sundayabout one o'clock in the
morning, I woke up with ablasting headache, and next
thing you know, we're in thehospital, and I've got all this
metallic stuff being shoved inmy veins and going through all
(01:58):
sorts of things, and so I'm I'mdoing some recovery and I'm
actually doing quite well.
I actually think that Jennysaved my life and and stopped
it.
We got it stopped quick enough.
And uh so I I do have a littlebit of slow processing going on,
but it has been uh it's been a alittle bit of a journey and my
my mind gets tired quickly.
(02:19):
But yeah.
Anyway, hey, you know what?
Once I get this all done, I'mgonna write a book because there
are things that I havediscovered now with the new
processes in my brain of thatcould help people go down the
road, and I think I'll I willI'll write a book about it for
sure.
SPEAKER_00 (02:34):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (02:35):
Because you know, like for example, I had for many
years, this is a good a goodthing to really recognize is I
had this spot in the back of myhead that I I had no feeling in
my scalp.
SPEAKER_02 (02:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (02:47):
And and then after the stroke I can now feel it all
again.
SPEAKER_02 (02:50):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (02:51):
And so that tells me that there was some kind of
blockage going on there foryears.
SPEAKER_00 (02:56):
And so you think it's uh physical or energetic or
uh well, Jerry's still out onthat.
SPEAKER_05 (03:06):
Don't know yet.
No, don't know yet.
It's uh uh definitely uh it wasa wide opening for me because
then on top of that we heardthat all of my blood work is
good.
Um except for my cholesterol wasa little bit elevated.
SPEAKER_02 (03:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (03:20):
And everything that was up was because what they
did.
They the it it purposely raisedmy numbers on some of my labs on
purpose.
And so it's been kind of crazy.
It's like a roller coaster ride.
Don't really understand.
Um, don't really care to know.
I just know that uh that I willnot ever allow myself to lay
(03:42):
down and lick my wounds.
SPEAKER_00 (03:43):
And so Yeah, you've never really been that person,
though.
SPEAKER_05 (03:46):
I'm not a quitter.
SPEAKER_00 (03:47):
You just are always a go-getter, and you get up and
dust yourself off and beginagain.
SPEAKER_05 (03:55):
And it it kind of brings me to a couple things.
First of all, I love my wife,and you are the most amazing
person in the world.
SPEAKER_00 (04:03):
I love you.
SPEAKER_05 (04:04):
You have saved you saved my life.
And you know that what it doesthough, uh, actually having a
stroke?
It makes me emotional.
So I may cry on on demand, whoknows?
But we'll see.
See what happens.
SPEAKER_00 (04:16):
That might come in handy if you ever became an
actor.
SPEAKER_05 (04:19):
Yeah, you know, yeah.
We are gonna be shooting somecommercials here soon for the
app.
Right, yeah.
Um but anyway, thank you verymuch for what you've done for me
and and for being my definite myfoundation, my stable during all
this, because yeah, I am back.
SPEAKER_00 (04:39):
Yes, you are, and and the milestones that you're
achieving in just uh couple ofshort days.
Oh yeah.
Uh we just got out of that.
So today is Friday.
SPEAKER_05 (04:51):
We went home Wednesday night.
SPEAKER_00 (04:53):
We just got out of the hospital on Tuesday night
late.
SPEAKER_05 (04:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:59):
At about what, 7, 7:30?
SPEAKER_05 (05:02):
Yeah.
I lay down at 9.08.
SPEAKER_00 (05:04):
Yeah, to go to bed.
And so Wednesday and Thursdaywere your first two days home.
SPEAKER_05 (05:12):
Yeah, you know, it was kind of crazy, you know,
some some and so we're stillvery early on.
SPEAKER_00 (05:18):
And I mean, to me, the strides that you're already
making as far as normalcy arehuge.
Yeah.
You know, like that first daywhere we went out and we had to
go pick up your prescriptions,yeah, which was the very next
morning, you wanted to I have todrive for a little bit.
SPEAKER_05 (05:39):
Yeah, they took my driving away until Monday.
SPEAKER_00 (05:41):
Yeah, it makes him crazy.
SPEAKER_05 (05:44):
I can blame that on the stroke.
SPEAKER_00 (05:47):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (05:49):
But anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (05:50):
Anyway, he doesn't like uh he doesn't like me
driving.
No.
Um I don't drive bad to set therecord straight.
But I just don't drive like someHall Benton.
SPEAKER_05 (06:03):
Because it depends on how you define that, really.
SPEAKER_00 (06:06):
I probably drive more like conservatively for
sure.
I follow the rules.
SPEAKER_05 (06:11):
Yeah.
Anyway, so I guess I navigatedher all day.
SPEAKER_00 (06:15):
That's right.
You wanted to navigate me fromplace to place and did uh
amazingly at it.
Didn't miss a beat.
And the brain, the areas of yourbrain that you had to utilize at
the same time to do that is uhis very remarkable.
SPEAKER_05 (06:38):
I 100% believe that it's going to completely clear
off out of my brain.
Yeah.
I just I don't know.
I just have that feeling.
SPEAKER_00 (06:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (06:45):
Um and I think it's gonna be an amazing recovery.
SPEAKER_00 (06:49):
Would you say that one of the helpful things is
your mindset?
SPEAKER_05 (06:55):
Definitely.
Yeah.
Um, you know, staying positive.
Yeah, you know, because it itwas a catastrophic event.
And you know, I remember thefeeling of it when we were
sitting on the couch and and uhI I couldn't make sense of
anything.
Yeah, it was like I couldn't Iwas completely confused.
Yeah, I was there, I waspresent, I could hear you, I
(07:16):
could hear me, but nothing I Iwas trying to say or heard made
any sense whatsoever.
SPEAKER_02 (07:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (07:23):
It was like like uh I mean I even tried to answer a
text message.
SPEAKER_02 (07:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (07:27):
And I I was like, I can't even read this, I have no
clue what it says.
SPEAKER_02 (07:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (07:32):
But it was uh definitely a little bit of a uh
crazy journey.
SPEAKER_00 (07:38):
Yeah, and I think uh the part I wanna share is we're
human too, and so don't get uswrong, we went through our
phases of being um mad about it,pissed off about it.
You know, this is not fair,emotional fear.
SPEAKER_05 (07:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:59):
Um, but I think some of the things we do differently
than what uh some folks do.
We allow ourselves to expressthose emotions.
Yeah.
And so when the tears come, weallow them to come.
When the fear comes, we allow itto come and we talk through it.
SPEAKER_05 (08:18):
Yeah, totally.
SPEAKER_00 (08:19):
And when the anger comes and the this is fucking
not fair.
Why is this fucking happening?
SPEAKER_05 (08:26):
I wanted to punch somebody.
SPEAKER_00 (08:27):
We talk through it and we allow that emotion to
come in because holding it backand stuffing it in some box just
means it's gonna come up againand deal with it.
If you just go ahead and allowit presence.
SPEAKER_05 (08:40):
You know, I think the the biggest part of it for
both of us was there was zerothey have no explanation.
SPEAKER_00 (08:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (08:48):
Like there's nothing that says my I mean, my
cholesterol was high, butnothing to a point of a stroke.
SPEAKER_00 (08:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (08:55):
Um, you know, although my blood pressure, my
blood pressure was high, yeah,but not exorbitantly high.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (09:01):
Like if I would have gone to the hospital prior to
the stroke, they would have justsent me home.
SPEAKER_00 (09:05):
Yeah, and and the listeners know that for a few
weeks, we prior to that, we'dbeen working with your blood
pressure.
SPEAKER_04 (09:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:14):
And yeah, within that, there was a couple of
spikes.
But for overall, they that wasat the very beginning.
Yeah.
They actually are keeping ithigh right now, a little high.
I say high.
It's running in the 140s over90s.
SPEAKER_05 (09:31):
Yeah, when yeah, they she told me when she's
trying to keep it 150 over 80.
Yeah, and she wants it to be alittle higher.
SPEAKER_00 (09:37):
Yeah, it's running around there.
SPEAKER_05 (09:39):
She doesn't want the diastolic number very high, but
she does want it, you know, inthe 80 to 85.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:45):
I mean, that's that was and the reality is that we
achieved pretty close to thosenumbers uh weeks prior to that,
yeah.
Yeah on uh on a on a prettyregular basis with what I was
doing herbally at home.
And so I don't know that theywould have been able to even
(10:08):
pre-determine if we in otherwords, if we'd gone to urgent
care with your blood pressure orgone to the ER with your blood
pressure, yeah, I don't knowthat they would have even really
acknowledged it or doneanything.
So that's the hardest part, Ithink, for you and I.
SPEAKER_05 (10:27):
No, it was hard.
SPEAKER_00 (10:29):
There was no it's it feels very sudden and it feels
very blindsided.
SPEAKER_05 (10:35):
Yeah, it was definitely hard.
SPEAKER_00 (10:36):
There was no definite.
I mean, I have 24 years ofmedical training, and for me,
what I battle with is did I doenough soon enough?
And so I I I battle with thatbecause in this journey, you
(10:57):
know, I'm doing my strokechecks, I'm doing my
neurovascular checks, and therewas no traditional textbook even
the doctors at the hospital,they did the stroke test, and
and they're like, Oh my god,you're strong.
That's right.
You're right.
He did.
SPEAKER_05 (11:15):
They did it multiple times, multiple people did it.
Like everybody's like, I don't Idon't understand.
SPEAKER_00 (11:20):
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, it literally took them.
They they do a CAT scan when youfirst go in, obviously.
But um, even from the CAT scan,they weren't ready to make it a
final decision of, oh yep,that's a stroke period, the end
of sentence, let's move on.
SPEAKER_05 (11:39):
Yeah, at first they thought it may have been a brain
infection or something.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
Or a tumor.
Or a tumor, lesion, you know,whatever.
So they ended up making you doan MRI so they could get better
imaging because they didn't evenknow really what it was at
first.
SPEAKER_05 (11:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (11:54):
Uh so I mean, I am not surprised that we were
blindsided, but I think that'sthe hardest part.
SPEAKER_05 (12:00):
Yeah, it is.
But you know, here's the coolpart about all of this.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
Do too.
SPEAKER_05 (12:04):
The the best part of this is uh we I get the
opportunity to teach peopleabout how you empower yourself.
SPEAKER_02 (12:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (12:12):
Um and then not allow yourself to be um d
defeated.
You know, being defeated is notthe way to be.
Yeah, you heard that.
We all heard it.
Somebody forgot to quiet her andshe didn't have a stroke, I did.
SPEAKER_00 (12:29):
I did.
I forgot to quiet my phoneagain.
More money in the jar.
SPEAKER_05 (12:35):
The the biggest part of it is is understanding that
you know, your recovery fromthis from anybody, when you're
recovering from any kind ofcatastrophic event, it's all
about your mindset.
And yeah, like like a lot ofpeople, like you said yesterday,
a lot of people just lay downand lick their wounds.
We've I've seen it people dothat.
SPEAKER_00 (12:57):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (12:57):
They just you know, they're just like you just give
up.
They don't oh my god, that's theend of the world.
And you're gonna find out, youknow what's really cool is I'm
gonna get whole new brain stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (13:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (13:09):
You know, like my my vision is so clear.
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (13:12):
You know, there's lots of things that that your
body rew your brine re brainrewires.
Yeah.
And it it can be it's so it's socool, really.
SPEAKER_00 (13:25):
Yeah, it is.
It you know, like I like wetalked about the other day,
people can either go into amental state of uh victimhood
and depression, yeah, which isquite normal to do, but if you
hang out there, you really dointerfere with the prognosis and
the progressive healing.
SPEAKER_05 (13:47):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (13:47):
If you can get yourself past that and say,
Okay, yeah, this happened, yeah,and the best place I can be is
start to find the positives.
SPEAKER_05 (13:56):
Well, when I was at the hospital, when I was in the
hospital, though, I was theyweren't even giving me an answer
yet, but I still was like I waswanting to move and walk around,
go outside, do something.
I just wanted to be moving.
Yeah.
Because you know, that positivemindset, uh, if you allow that
to trigger into you, yeah, itjust the chemical the chemicals
(14:17):
that your brain produce, it it'sa hundred percent healing.
I mean, it will heal and youhave to allow it to be there.
And anything that you do inlife, if you you know, if you
get your butt kicked, I've hadmy butt kicked a bunch of times
in my life.
SPEAKER_03 (14:34):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:34):
You know, I mean, all the way from when I was when
I went to prison to when I whenI won uh when I was worth a
million dollars, millions ofdollars, and then when I went
broke.
I've been there and every butevery time it's about mindset.
SPEAKER_02 (14:47):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (14:48):
And when you can defeat that negative thought
process within your own mind,because you are the one I'm the
one empowering this.
I I am the one empowering this.
And if you can think you know,uh think properly and have
positive mindset, it it changeseverything.
SPEAKER_02 (15:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (15:08):
Your positive mindset and what I've taught
this class for many, many, manyyears about positive mindset,
and now I'm living it again.
Again.
SPEAKER_02 (15:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (15:17):
And and I will continue to teach it because
positive mindset will changeyour life.
SPEAKER_00 (15:22):
It does, for sure.
And anyway, so if you can justget to that point of yeah, I may
be in a shitty spot and it feelslike shit, but if you can just
give yourself one glimpse a dayof finding that positive outlook
and that positive vibration andmake that the habit.
SPEAKER_05 (15:41):
Yeah, I agree.
SPEAKER_00 (15:42):
Then it's a game changer, man.
It just really is.
SPEAKER_05 (15:45):
I mean, because don't get me wrong.
I mean, I get freakingheadaches, man.
Some of these headaches arebrutal.
SPEAKER_00 (15:50):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (15:50):
You know, you get like cramps and you get shit
that's where from all themedicine they're giving you and
all this other crap.
And it and it can it can take auh uh a turmoil on you.
Um and and y'all bear with mebecause I'm still working on
some words.
But you know, it can be verytormenting to think about it
like golly, when does this getnormal?
(16:12):
And but you just gotta keepposting.
Like this morning when I got up,I actually for the first time
didn't feel floaty.
SPEAKER_02 (16:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (16:19):
Like as it's a part of a stroke is you feel floaty,
like you're dis uh detached fromyour body, kinda.
SPEAKER_00 (16:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (16:27):
And today I'm feel pretty grounded.
SPEAKER_00 (16:30):
Good.
SPEAKER_05 (16:31):
Yeah, and uh it's it's been a pretty uh good
journey so far.
SPEAKER_00 (16:36):
I think the other thing um with the stroke
example, you know, when you goand you have like abdominal
surgery, for example, you can oran abdominal injury or even uh,
you know, a physical injury tothe external part of the body,
you can look at that wound,yeah, and your mind justifies
(16:59):
that, okay, you know what?
I feel a little off or I feellike shit or I feel junky
because of this wound and I'mhealing.
SPEAKER_05 (17:08):
Um one of our coaches is going through the
exact same thing right now.
SPEAKER_00 (17:11):
Well, you give yourself permission to be
slower, yes, to need more rest,to take it easy.
SPEAKER_05 (17:19):
That's tough for me.
SPEAKER_00 (17:20):
It's tough for you, anyways, but when you don't have
that external um, you know, likesurgical incision or that
external wound to remind youthat it's okay to take rest
periods and it's inside yourbrain, for example, in your
case, it sometimes is hard toconceptualize that, you know
(17:43):
what, my brain went through atraumatic event and it in two
places, yeah.
Yeah, and it has an actual woundin two different places.
SPEAKER_05 (17:52):
And they're purposely keeping my blood
pressure high and it stinkinghurts.
SPEAKER_00 (17:56):
And I'm going through a healing process, and
so when I feel like I need torest or even lay down and take a
nap, because I've accomplished acouple of tasks and I feel
exhausted.
SPEAKER_05 (18:10):
Yeah, it does, it is that is one of the things for me
that's really defeating a littlebit that I have to stay positive
about is that is I don't likequitting.
I and so I want to keep going, Iwant to keep going, I want to
keep going, but sometimes it'sjust man, like the other day we
lay down at two o'clock and Ididn't get up until six o'clock
the next morning.
(18:30):
Right, and it was okay, youknow, because I had to, but it
is what it is, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (18:35):
Right, yeah.
Because you've always been thatjust push through.
Yeah, I've always been thatstill freaking ragged, just push
through.
I mean, I've seen you get upwith uh bronchitis and get up
high fever, I've done all sortsof stuff.
Go to freaking work and I cannottalk you off the ledge, man.
SPEAKER_05 (18:55):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (18:55):
And uh so what I see is is that you're listening more
to your body and honoring whatit needs and taking those
results.
SPEAKER_05 (19:03):
Yeah, the perseverance behind it is is uh
different.
You know, you have to do itdifferently now because like my
mind is there.
SPEAKER_01 (19:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (19:14):
Um there are it's all there.
It just like it processes alittle bit slower right now.
Yeah.
And I'm doing it and on purpose,you know, according to the other
doctors are they're doing thingson purpose.
SPEAKER_02 (19:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (19:26):
Because they want me to have good solid blood flow in
my brain.
SPEAKER_00 (19:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (19:31):
And when I try to process things and get going too
fast and I get too tired, thenit slows that stuff down.
SPEAKER_00 (19:37):
That's right.
Yeah.
And so you're you're honoringwhere your body is.
Yes.
And that makes me feel better,obviously.
SPEAKER_05 (19:43):
I'm trying, I'm doing my best.
It's and because it is tough,it's hard for me to stop.
SPEAKER_00 (19:47):
Yeah, you're definitely not a sit still, no,
oh my god, guys, listen, when wewere in the hospital for that
few days, there was no windowsto the outside.
It was in a it was in a unittype thing, and they wouldn't
let him off the unit, and it wasa smaller unit.
I was like, Well, we can walkthe halls, and it literally was
(20:09):
like this little bitty tinyhorseshoe shape.
And he was like, I just need Ineed to get out of here.
And I was like, They're notgonna let you off the unit.
They wouldn't I just want to golook outside, look out the
window.
I'm sorry, it's just not gonnahappen right now.
Well, they can't tell me what Ican do.
I'm like, okay, listen.
SPEAKER_05 (20:27):
And then I I went to the doors and I could see out
the doors when I you wereasleep.
And I walked out and I waswalking around the thing, and
then I went looked out the door,and then the window that's there
is covered because they're doingconstruction.
SPEAKER_00 (20:37):
That's right.
SPEAKER_05 (20:38):
I was like, son of a Yeah.
Couldn't see nothing.
SPEAKER_00 (20:42):
So there were aggravating moments, especially
for you, because you're just ayou're you're a go-getter.
I was a case.
And you don't you don't sitstill well, but you're doing
very well.
You're honoring your body anddoing my best.
Like on our first day home, youwere like, Wow, it took it out
of me to go to the store, getprescriptions.
(21:03):
We had to pick up a few thingsat the grocery store.
SPEAKER_05 (21:06):
And then I was done.
SPEAKER_00 (21:07):
And then you were just kind of done.
SPEAKER_05 (21:09):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (21:10):
And I think for a minute it was like, Wow, am I
gonna you had made thestatement.
Am I ever gonna be normal again?
SPEAKER_05 (21:16):
Oh yeah, you but you had the monkey mind.
You know, that monkey mind cancome from nowhere.
SPEAKER_00 (21:20):
But you just take it moment at a time.
Yeah.
And day by day it gets betterand better.
SPEAKER_05 (21:25):
And it's no matter what it is, if it's a stroke, if
it's a car accident, if it's adivorce, if it's whatever it is,
you know, it's about it's aboutkeeping staying positive and uh
understanding that your pempowerment, uh your
self-empowerment to staypositive in your mindset is the
(21:45):
will change the way any recoveryhappens.
SPEAKER_00 (21:49):
Absolutely.
Yeah, it's a hundred percentmindset.
Yeah.
And that's why we are can wecontinue on a regular basis to
try and teach and get the wordout of the you know the the
power of the mind and doing thepositive mindset workshops that
(22:09):
we do and once once I getcompletely healed, I'll I'll put
on another clinic and I willdefinitely teach people because
your your decision to make theright thing today or the right
your decision to make the rightdecision today that's positive
mindset, no matter what it'sabout, it will change your
(22:31):
outcome on anything that you do.
SPEAKER_05 (22:33):
Yeah and and I'm I'm sitting here preaching it right
now because I will not lay downand lick my wounds.
Yeah, I won't do it.
Yeah, I mean you're I mean whatwhat what's the purpose of it?
SPEAKER_00 (22:44):
You're rocking walking the road, man.
SPEAKER_05 (22:47):
Yeah, and I'll I'll uh continue to teach people and
and help every chance I get.
SPEAKER_00 (22:53):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_05 (22:54):
For sure.
So that's kind of where mymindset is today with is
understanding the positivethought and how powerful it is.
SPEAKER_01 (23:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (23:02):
You know, I used to I I used to say one thing, and
the only thing today that cancome empower you stronger for
tomorrow is your mindset today.
SPEAKER_02 (23:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (23:12):
And when when you get to the point that you
understand that how the theenergy frequency of positive
power in your mindset and thedifference between saying I'll
be okay or an I am okay is waydifferent.
(23:33):
Yeah.
And like, you know, like even atthe hospital, I told the the
doctor, I I don't care.
Because I am okay.
SPEAKER_00 (23:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (23:43):
I will be just fine.
SPEAKER_00 (23:44):
I don't care what you say, I'm okay.
That's right.
I'm I'm okay.
I'm better.
SPEAKER_05 (23:49):
Slow down.
You need to do this, you need todo that.
You're right, I will, but I'mgonna do it three times faster
than anybody else.
SPEAKER_00 (23:54):
That's right.
SPEAKER_05 (23:54):
This is because of how that's how I am.
SPEAKER_00 (23:56):
Do you find that your perspective on trivial
things or minor things andworrying about them has changed
at all?
SPEAKER_05 (24:06):
Totally.
SPEAKER_00 (24:06):
Yeah, it changed my Do you find that some things
that you were seeing as highimportance have lowered on the
priority list of things to likebe concerned about?
Oh wait.
SPEAKER_05 (24:20):
Does that change any?
I wouldn't say that it changed alot of things.
What what it did was is itpre-re-prioritized things.
Right.
You know, like the moreimportant things is uh are are
you, you know, and me.
That's the most important thing.
SPEAKER_01 (24:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (24:34):
And everything else is really, you know, is it now
gets pre-reprioritized down heresomewhere else.
SPEAKER_01 (24:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (24:40):
And that's okay.
Because it used to be I was justgo-getter, I was doing
everything.
I was everything was beingcompleted to 100%.
SPEAKER_00 (24:49):
Oh, mo most of the time.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (24:54):
And and all it does is cause uh a diminished mental
state when you when you put thatmuch weight in your own plate
and or you do that much toyourself that you have to really
accomplish all of this stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (25:12):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (25:13):
And why?
SPEAKER_02 (25:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:15):
Because I mean, don't get me wrong, we're gonna
accomplish all of our goals inlife forever.
Right.
But I don't have to do it all atthe same time now.
Yeah, right.
It reprioritizes things, that'sfor sure.
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:26):
But anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (25:28):
Very good.
SPEAKER_05 (25:29):
Yeah, and I I I feel pretty complete.
unknown (25:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:33):
Yeah, our biggest thing was, you know, because we
haven't done a podcast in twoweeks.
About two weeks now, justbecause of the journey we've
been on.
SPEAKER_05 (25:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:45):
And I said, we need to probably get back on the
horse this morning and startnormalizing life.
And so we decided we would geton and we're gonna put this one
up and we're gonna publish it.
SPEAKER_05 (25:56):
We're gonna put it out so people can hear it.
SPEAKER_00 (25:57):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:58):
Um it's not something that I'm embarrassed
by anything.
Yeah, if you're because I am Ipromise you, if you were to walk
up to me in the street, youwould have no idea that I had a
stroke a week ago.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
Yeah, but just so that everybody knows, there you
did kind of go through that alittle bit.
The first uh the first kind ofum I guess outing and the first
meeting we had to do coming up.
SPEAKER_05 (26:19):
Oh my gosh, that was the very first day home.
SPEAKER_00 (26:21):
You were nervous.
SPEAKER_05 (26:22):
We had to do an app meeting, and I was you know, I
was processing shit slow.
SPEAKER_00 (26:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (26:27):
In my mind, I was doing it slow, but to them it
was like normal.
SPEAKER_00 (26:31):
Right.
And that's what I was trying tohelp you um kind of understand
is that I'm the outsider lookingin, and I would never even know
at this point, or even on thatday, the day after you got home
from the hospital.
You you can't it's not somethingyou can pick up on unless you
(26:51):
went through the journey withyou and you know it.
SPEAKER_01 (26:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (26:55):
But you were worried that they would know, and that
was kind of a littlenerve-wracking, right?
SPEAKER_05 (26:59):
Yeah, it's still it's still creates a little
anxiety.
SPEAKER_00 (27:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (27:02):
Um, that I'm gonna say the wrong thing, or because
I technically right now I have aa uh card that's in my wallet
that says I can say stupid shit.
SPEAKER_00 (27:11):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (27:12):
And get away with it if I want to.
And have an excuse.
And have an excuse card.
SPEAKER_00 (27:17):
Yeah, we talked about that yesterday on our
little walk.
You said I have a card basicallythat lets me be uh Yeah, like
the idiot.
SPEAKER_05 (27:26):
Oh my god.
We're we're at a walk yesterdayevening.
Yeah, and we're we're it was myfirst really walk back as we
came home.
We did the walk, but it was likea little small one because I had
headache.
And we meet this guy, and he's Iwas like, I was like, How you
doing today?
You know, just in passing.
And he starts complaining abouthaving a bruised ankle.
SPEAKER_04 (27:46):
Right.
SPEAKER_05 (27:48):
And Jenny said, Yeah, he had two fucking strokes
two days ago.
So it's like, you know, it waskind of like I didn't say it to
him.
SPEAKER_00 (27:56):
No, it was something you and I said when we laughed
about it.
Because if you can't laugh aboutstuff, man, and I have a
permission card.
SPEAKER_05 (28:04):
I could have said something really shitty.
SPEAKER_00 (28:05):
You could have, you for sure could have, because
then I followed that up with,yeah, I have a fucking pacemaker
and he had two strokes two daysago or a day ago.
Uh, you know, cry me a fuckingriver.
SPEAKER_05 (28:17):
Crammy a river, by the way.
SPEAKER_00 (28:18):
What I said, and then we laughed about it.
But uh, you know, that's justour way.
We try to find jokes and fun andways to maneuver the the
situation.
SPEAKER_05 (28:32):
But you know it is what it is, and and uh I'm I'm
happy for for where I am.
Yeah, I'm happy for what is whatis changing in my life.
SPEAKER_00 (28:40):
Gosh, yeah.
You know what?
SPEAKER_05 (28:42):
I am so proud of you because finding a proud moment
in all of this, you know, for meis accepting the fact that hey,
you know what?
I get to learn some new shit.
SPEAKER_02 (28:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (28:54):
And I get to, you know, I get to experience a part
of my body that a lot of peoplenever have the opportunity to
understand.
SPEAKER_02 (29:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (29:01):
I get to I get to train brand new brain cells to
do things.
SPEAKER_02 (29:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (29:06):
And it's it's really kind of cool, actually.
SPEAKER_02 (29:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (29:10):
Because I have been, you know, I've been going
through all these little braingames from on the phone and
stuff from after stokes in astroke, and I've I've I've I've
already like scored 99% of allof these things.
SPEAKER_00 (29:21):
Well, and that's one of the things you did right
away, uh, was you downloaded astroke app and got going
immediately on your mind work.
SPEAKER_05 (29:34):
Right.
And I was I'm I'm already up to210 words a minute on the
reading, which is more than 90thpercentile of most people's
reading.
SPEAKER_00 (29:41):
Right, yeah, because in the hospital when you
downloaded the app it's 130, Icould all I could do.
SPEAKER_05 (29:47):
I found and I I failed like four times in a row.
SPEAKER_00 (29:50):
Yeah, you struggled with the 130.
SPEAKER_05 (29:52):
And I'm at 210 this morning.
SPEAKER_00 (29:54):
And I remember you saying, Am I ever gonna be
normal?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (29:57):
And now you're you're yeah, I'm impatient.
It's been like four days,whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (30:01):
It well, no, because this is Friday.
Yeah.
You just got discharged onTuesday.
Tuesday.
This is the third day, themorning of the third day.
SPEAKER_05 (30:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:11):
I think uh, you know, I I have to remind him
guys often of how many days it'sbeen.
Because it's uh there's timeswhere it feels like it's been
forever.
SPEAKER_05 (30:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:22):
And then there's times where it's like, you know,
this just happened two days ago.
SPEAKER_05 (30:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Take give yourself a break.
SPEAKER_05 (30:29):
Yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_00 (30:31):
And as the co-partner in it, um, I know one
of the things that I have towork with is not being uh mother
hen.
SPEAKER_05 (30:45):
Yeah.
It's okay.
You're I'm giving you theopportunity.
SPEAKER_00 (30:48):
Yeah, it reminds me of raising the kids.
You know, I didn't uh I I letthem explore and do, and if they
got it right, yay, great.
If they didn't, we reevaluatedand they got to pick a different
way to try it.
If we made a mess, we cleanedthe mess up.
(31:09):
Yeah, and I really had to stopmyself and say, Okay, you know
what?
We gotta do it this way becausehe needs it and because I need
it.
Yeah.
And um, so I did.
I had to stop myself because Iwent through uh my trauma in it
as the as the co-partner, yeah,was uh I went through some fear.
(31:35):
Oh yeah, we both did.
Oh my gosh.
And um not wanting And I feltbad.
SPEAKER_05 (31:40):
I felt because of what I what happened to you, the
fear in it and the right.
SPEAKER_00 (31:45):
We had to work through the guilt on both sides
because I went through a momentof did I do enough?
Did I cause this?
Did I delay and cause this?
SPEAKER_05 (31:54):
You know, like the one thing that I've jumped into
thinking about is like what didI do to cause all this?
And that that's you can't fallin that mindset.
SPEAKER_00 (32:01):
No, you can't stay there very long.
SPEAKER_05 (32:03):
It can be very depleting.
SPEAKER_00 (32:05):
You gotta you gotta pop right back out of that.
SPEAKER_05 (32:08):
Because the reality is is the doctors all said that
couldn't tell you reallyanything.
SPEAKER_00 (32:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (32:12):
They can tell me what it caused it, why it was
there.
Yeah, it was just weird.
And like and I started havingjust random high blood pressure
for no freaking reason.
SPEAKER_00 (32:19):
Yep.
It just popped on one day.
SPEAKER_05 (32:21):
Just for no reason out of the blue.
SPEAKER_00 (32:23):
Yeah, yeah.
And it is what it is when andyou we we're and so one of the
things I can speak about aboutmy side of the journey.
I don't know how we are on time,but I just wanted to review this
real quick.
Um, because as a caretaker or asa partner of someone who has
gone through this, it'straumatizing to that person as
(32:46):
well.
And if you're not careful, youcan get hung up in the fear
place.
SPEAKER_05 (32:52):
Yeah, it's easy to get caught up in in both
directions.
SPEAKER_00 (32:55):
Um and then what happens if you do that is you
start treating the other personlike they are not capable.
Yeah.
And that's not beneficial tothem because then it makes them
feel like they are sickly orthey're not gonna be normal and
and they can lose theirconfidence.
(33:17):
And but for you, if you don'tsnap yourself out of that fear
place, it makes you take onthere are times it pops in.
Yeah, there are.
But I'm not gonna do everythingfor you like you're some
invalid.
SPEAKER_04 (33:33):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (33:34):
But people I've seen them do that.
Yeah, they uh they begin to teto treat the person like they
can't do anything, and the nextthing you know, they've taken
over the caregiver role, andthey wear themselves out putting
on the shoes and the socks, andyeah, and this person is capable
(33:57):
of bending over and putting ontheir own socks and shoes, for
God's sakes.
I'm cooking supper tonight, soand it's not beneficial for
either person.
So if you are going throughsomething like this and you feel
like as the as the partner whodidn't have the experience, that
you are exhausted and you'reoverwhelmed or you're
(34:19):
overworked, stop and reallyanalyze the situation and say to
yourself, you know, yes, thishappened to this person that I
love, but are they reallycapable of doing some of these
things I'm doing for them?
And and recognize that it wouldbe beneficial to let them do
(34:42):
that so they can reestablishtheir own confidence healing.
And you can clean your plate andcome out of that caregiver role
and begin the supportive spouseor friend or whatever role
again.
SPEAKER_05 (35:00):
Yeah, well, that's the same thing we used to teach
about tough love.
Sometimes, you know, they theylabel it as tough love when it's
really not tough love.
It's really just peoplebalancing out their prisms or
their what word am I trying tothink of?
SPEAKER_00 (35:15):
Uh tell me when you want it.
SPEAKER_05 (35:18):
Go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (35:19):
Pendulum.
SPEAKER_05 (35:20):
Pendulum.
Yeah, they're balancing outtheir pendulums again.
And where you they're in themiddle of a negotiation of
finding new grounded space thatis a pendulum of complete
correctness.
And so, like for me, like me andnot allowing you to do
(35:41):
everything for me is a pendulumfor me, and you accepting it is
a pendulum for you because nowyou're also going to clarify and
remove the fears.
SPEAKER_00 (35:51):
Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_05 (35:52):
And that's what it's about because that fears can be
tough, man.
SPEAKER_00 (35:55):
Yeah, and then there's just one other small
tiny thing I wanted to talkabout in this because it's very
comical, but you brought it tomy awareness.
SPEAKER_01 (36:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (36:05):
Um not treating the person like they're not able to
relearn.
SPEAKER_04 (36:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (36:15):
And what I mean by that, one of the things that I
did not know I was doing when Iwould say words to you, oh yeah,
I would over-articulate them.
Yeah, you because I so I becauseI still feel my nursing side pop
(36:36):
in every once in a while.
And I'm like, you know, howespecially that first day right
before we came home, I was likeuh doing some testing on you
myself just to make myself feelbetter.
And I would say, uh, can you saythe word ball?
(36:58):
And I was over-articulated.
Like I was deaf or something.
Like you couldn't likecomprehend what I was saying.
It was previously and you calledme on it, and rightfully so.
SPEAKER_05 (37:07):
You talked to me like a normal person.
SPEAKER_00 (37:09):
Right.
You said, you know, my hearingis not bad.
My I can understand what you'resaying, but you're saying the
word in such a weird way.
Yeah, I don't know what you'resaying, but it's not because my
brain is not working, it'sbecause it made zero sense what
you're saying.
SPEAKER_05 (37:25):
It was like I didn't know how you said it.
I was I was like, How did youeven say that?
I don't even know.
SPEAKER_00 (37:30):
I was overpronouncing it because I
wasn't sure.
Like it's a learning experiencefor everybody.
It was funny.
It was a good job.
Yeah.
So he brought it to myattention.
I was like, holy shit, he'sright.
I am.
I'm like doing this whole otherlanguage that probably is hard
to understand.
So if you are someone that hasgone through the injury and you
(37:55):
find that your partner is doingthings that are not helpful,
right.
Right.
And it would be helpful if youwould let me.
Or hey, you're doing this andit's not helpful.
SPEAKER_05 (38:14):
I think the biggest thing for me is is understanding
that I'm injured.
SPEAKER_00 (38:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (38:17):
I'm I'm not dead.
I'm not um I'm not able to dothings.
You know, I I am I am injured.
And I'm just injured andtemporarily injured.
SPEAKER_00 (38:30):
That's right.
And so, you know, it's And youbeing able to voice to me when
I'm doing something that's notbeneficial or that you can't
even fucking understand.
SPEAKER_05 (38:38):
And I was like, what the fuck do you say?
And so that's what I wanted toput out there too, too because
it made me feel like I was like,was I missing that made me think
I was doing something wrong or Iwasn't comprehending again.
SPEAKER_00 (38:48):
Right.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_05 (38:49):
And I'm like, the fuck?
You know, right, but anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (38:53):
And so I give those people that have had these
catastrophic catastrophic eventshappen to them, yeah, injury,
trauma, I give you permission totell your partner, hey, you're
doing this thing, yeah, and it'snot helpful.
Or I wish you would let me doit.
Let me at least try.
Yeah, because there's been timesas well in our new little
(39:17):
journey here that you've said,no, let me try first.
Let me do it, yeah.
Let me try first, let me andit's all coming right back.
SPEAKER_05 (39:25):
So it's not like it's I mean, I mean, hell, I'm
sit I'm three days home and thenwe're doing a podcast again.
SPEAKER_00 (39:30):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_05 (39:32):
And and when just a week ago I couldn't process two
freaking words.
SPEAKER_00 (39:36):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (39:37):
And and I don't mean I I don't mean it.
Let me let me rephrase that.
I I had a g a few glimpses ofconfusion.
And that and that's what andthat's something I want to talk
about about this with strokepeople, and so they will
understand that a stroke canlast five seconds.
Actually, two seconds.
Yeah, because that's whathappened to me.
(39:59):
Is I it it was literally lessthan 30 seconds of confusion,
and then everything was back tonormal.
And then I but then it feltweird.
It was just like a weird thing,and so like no this stroke
prevention.
SPEAKER_00 (40:11):
And did you say in your mind that you heard what I
was saying?
It's just that you couldn'tprocess the information to get
it from your brain to yourmouth.
SPEAKER_05 (40:21):
That's one hundred percent.
SPEAKER_00 (40:22):
And so it wasn't even like you were completely.
Yeah, it was just like youcouldn't make the communication.
SPEAKER_05 (40:31):
It's kind of it's kind of a weird thing to
understand, is because it was Iwas completely comprehending
everything that was being said.
Even at the lady at the At theuh the tech that admissions,
everything she said, I couldcompletely process.
But when it comes toarticulating anything back, that
(40:52):
just wasn't happening.
SPEAKER_00 (40:54):
And then one of the other things you said was when
you tried to multitask.
SPEAKER_05 (40:58):
Yeah, yeah, I couldn't do more than one thing
at a time.
SPEAKER_00 (41:00):
And then you tried to do more than one thing at a
time.
SPEAKER_05 (41:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (41:02):
Which now you're much better at in just a couple
of days.
SPEAKER_05 (41:06):
Oh yeah, I'm I'm totally coming back quickly.
SPEAKER_00 (41:08):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_05 (41:09):
Um, I mean I it's it's no it's just a a healing
process, and I I believe that Iwill be 100% healed in the next
ten days.
SPEAKER_00 (41:18):
That's the key, man.
SPEAKER_05 (41:19):
And I I I know it.
And I and I there's no doubt inmy mind that this little image
that's in my brain thatsupposedly is damaged, I think
it's gonna come right back andit's gonna act like it was never
there.
SPEAKER_00 (41:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (41:31):
Because I I believe that.
SPEAKER_00 (41:32):
Yeah.
And that's the key.
SPEAKER_05 (41:35):
It is the key.
Anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (41:36):
That's and that stuff's been documented with
other people.
SPEAKER_05 (41:39):
Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_00 (41:40):
You know, like Christopher Reeves and I mean a
lot of them have stories wherethey used their mind when other
parts of their body didn't work,and they created how they wanted
their reality to be until theyactually were physically able to
achieve that, and they did notlet anybody or anything bear
them from that.
SPEAKER_05 (42:01):
There ain't nothing gonna get in my way, I promise
you that.
SPEAKER_00 (42:03):
That's right.
SPEAKER_05 (42:03):
Nothing's gonna help me.
Nothing's gonna help nothing'sgonna help stop me.
SPEAKER_00 (42:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (42:07):
And I I plan on being able to help people
somewhere down the road withthis.
SPEAKER_00 (42:11):
Yeah, and so it is good.
SPEAKER_05 (42:13):
But anyway, well, um, so real quick update
lucidiumworld.com.
You can check it out.
It's our new app.
Uh the Salty Tarot has migratedinto Lucidium World, and it's a
really cool app.
Oh my god, it's gonna havemetaphysical practitioners, it's
gonna have a store, we're gonnahave gamified avatars, it's
(42:34):
gonna be a mystical world ofjust fun, exciting, and
learning.
We have the video of light, orthe I'm sorry, the library of
light, which is a uh buildingthat's gonna have video modules
where you can learn um aboutdifferent things, and we're
gonna have all the you know,it's it's really just a cool
thing.
SPEAKER_00 (42:53):
Yeah, it's turned into a really amazing thing.
SPEAKER_05 (42:56):
It's AI powered, it's gonna be like your higher
self right there, just in yourpalm of your hand on your phone.
Absolutely.
It's really a cool thing.
Uh we're very excited about it.
We are and I will be updatingthe uh um Lucidingworld.com, the
domain, all the information.
I have new images of all thephone, you know, because uh the
coders when they create thecoding, they give me images of
(43:19):
what looks like in the phone.
SPEAKER_00 (43:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:20):
And so I'm gonna put that on the website so people
can actually see it, see whatit's gonna look like.
SPEAKER_00 (43:24):
See the progress of it and everything.
SPEAKER_05 (43:25):
Yeah, it's gonna be a three-phase rollout.
Phase one is eight buildings,uh, phase two is seven
buildings, and then phase threeis eight buildings.
And so we have a you know atotal of all that, and then and
then there's gonna be all sortsof cool things coming to we have
Alien World, the uh cryptidzone.
(43:47):
Yep, we have uh things coming upand it's gonna be lots of fun.
But anyway, check it outwww.lucidiumworld.com.
And if you really, really wantto, you can check out our
website as well atw.themercenters.org.
And uh go and subscribe onLucidium World and uh we'll give
(44:07):
you might give you the free umtrial run for the beta testing.
SPEAKER_00 (44:13):
For the beta, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (44:15):
And we will start doing some discounted um ability
for the for the practitionersthat want to sign up.
SPEAKER_03 (44:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (44:22):
Uh we'll do this uh if they'll if they sign up
pre-launch, then we will do somediscounted pricing for them.
SPEAKER_03 (44:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (44:28):
And then also for people that want to subscribe
early, we're gonna give you someheck of good discounts for the
first year off.
So that'll be coming up soon aswell.
SPEAKER_00 (44:37):
And as always, you can get my book on Amazon
scripted from within.
SPEAKER_05 (44:42):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (44:43):
And then uh if you want to really go into rabbit
hole areas, you can read myarticles that I produce on
Blogger.
SPEAKER_05 (44:50):
Do the edge and back with Dr.
Genie.
SPEAKER_00 (44:52):
Yeah, yeah.
Good stuff.
SPEAKER_05 (44:54):
So that's on Blogger, by the way.
SPEAKER_00 (44:56):
Yeah, that's on Blogger.
SPEAKER_05 (44:57):
And it's actually on all the blog sites, but Blogger
puts it all as the one.
It's Blogger, Blogger is likethe thing for the podcast where
it puts everything at the sameplace.
SPEAKER_00 (45:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (45:07):
It just puts it on blog sites.
SPEAKER_00 (45:10):
So there you have it.
SPEAKER_05 (45:12):
Anyway, don't forget to like, follow, and share, and
tell your friends about all thegood stuff going on, and y'all
pay attention and uh for theupdates on the stroke prevention
stuff, because I am gonna putthat out there.
I am gonna definitely teach itbecause I have lived through it
and I know what it felt like.
SPEAKER_02 (45:27):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (45:28):
100%.
And if I can help one person,then I've done my job.
SPEAKER_00 (45:32):
Yeah, awesome.
SPEAKER_05 (45:33):
Anyway, don't forget to like, follow, share, and ring
that bell.
Hey, y'all have an awesome day.
SPEAKER_00 (45:38):
Love ya.
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