August 28, 2025 • 42 mins
We explore how unconscious fear of loss can sabotage our closest relationships and create the very loneliness we're trying to avoid. Recognizing these patterns allows us to move from fear-based detachment to conscious, present-moment connection.
• Examining how the fear of future loss can cause us to unconsciously detach from partners
• Looking at your reality as a mirror to recognize what you need to hear about yourself
• Replacing blame with personal accountability in relationship challenges
• Asking yourself what you would regret if your partner were gone tomorrow
• The frog analogy - how we often don't recognize deteriorating conditions until it's too late
• Living life fully in the present moment rather than from fear of the future
• Taking action on loving impulses rather than withholding affection
• The importance of appreciation versus taking things for granted
Join us for our upcoming Power of Thought Workshop starting October 3rd at the Holistic House in Holly Hill. Visit us at https://www.themerccenters.org for more information or check out our new store at https://thesaltytarot.myshopify.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Hello everybody, welcome back to the show.
We are here in house again.
As you can tell, we'rerecording.
How y'all like it, you like it,I can't tell.
I did it.
Good morning.
I feel like we have an audiencetoday, like we're there's.
We have cameras stuckeverywhere.
I feel like we're being watched, oogly.
It's like somebody's spying onus.
(00:59):
I feel like it's crazy.
But anyway, uh, welcome back tothe spiritual grind.
Welcome to the spiritual grind.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Welcome to the video world, yeah the video world.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Man, we're really trying to get this worked out,
where it's consistent and set upthe right way.
If you were in studio, youwould say how are you setting
this up the right way right now?
But we're learning.
Okay, it's a learning curve.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, definitely we're experiencing that new
learning curve going from audioto full video.
But I remember when you wereexperiencing that learning curve
, just figuring out the podcastthough, yeah, I researched this
A whole year ago.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Yeah, I researched the best stuff to get you know
for podcasting and they didn'ttell you the learning curve
behind it no, so I went andbought the roadcaster duo and
the road mics, all the fancyequipment.
Yeah, downloaded all the stuffand, wow, it took me a minute to
learn it all well, I mean,aside from purchasing the
(01:57):
equipment you had, like this bighuge manual, manual that you
had me print off and I canremember you sitting there for
hours on end reading throughthat and figuring out the
buttons.
The Rodecaster itself does somuch filtering that I had to set
(02:18):
all that up to where it'sautomatic and every time we move
I have to change the filtersmove around automatic, you know,
and like every time we move, Ihave to change the filters, move
around, and well, not only that, but you had different apps
that it requires yes and thoseeach had their own individual
accounts that he had to set upyeah, this didn't have, uh, its
(02:38):
own app yet.
Well, it does.
Actually.
Let me reframe, let me rephrasethat it's got its.
It's's got an interface app towhere you can change the sounds
and everything and downloaddirectly to your computer.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Right, but I'm just talking about, like the
Buzzsprout and Audacity, I hadto set all those accounts up.
Different accounts that feedinto one and the other to
actually be able to edit andupload.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Don't get me wrong.
Buzzsprout's easy and so isaudacity.
It is now, but get it set up Iwas gonna say you know yeah I
hate when people use that wordit's easy.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
They triggered me because I remember the long
evenings of listening to youwith a few cuss words.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Blue choice words in the background.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah, I was sitting there trying to get it all set
up.
So it may feel easy now, but atthe time it was.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
It was fun.
It was really fun to learn.
Actually, I enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Yeah, but it had its moments.
At the time it was frustrating.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh, that's right, Our topic of the day you ready for
that, of course?
Is everybody, are y'all ready?
Y'all ready for this?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
look at this beauty.
I just wanted to show thisbeautiful, you're selling that
ball.
This one is this is selenitebut I I feel like it has a
mermaid essence.
I don't know if the camera canpick it up or not, but this is
my all-time favorite bubble wrap.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, you see it was in Hurricane Milton in bubble
wrap.
It sat in the salt water untilall the water receded at the
stone shop in Clearwater.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Right.
And what it did is it createdthese lovely little mermaid
scales.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Yeah, it does look like scales, Scale yeah it's
kind of cool.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
And it is so wonderful.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
It's crazy what saltwater does to that.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
It's wonderful.
I was like, oh yeah, I got tohave that one man.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
That's what saltwater does when it has to sit.
He said it was in underwaterfor like three weeks in the
saltwater, but it's pretty cool,you got it.
It did turn out pretty cool, hesold it cheap.
He did because he saw itdamaged, Of course you bought
this one too, and then youbought that one.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
But he saw it damaged , I saw perfection.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah, I get it Kind of like me.
Everybody saw me damaged.
You saw perfection.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
That's up for debate.
I'm kidding, did you all hearit?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
But anyway, that kind of carries right over into our
topic today.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You do tell.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You know, for the last three podcasts we've talked
about spiritual, had twosessions on spiritual sex, and
then we also have a episode onappreciation, and this morning
we had a coffee talk.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
And it kind of married right into the whole
theme of today's podcast topicfor me and that is don't take
for granted what you appreciateand don't take for granted when
you're in a relationship on anypart of it.
Because you know, we kind oftouched on it a little bit in
(05:57):
the relationship episode two,relationship sex on the episode
two part.
But don't expect what somebodychooses to do don't make an
expectation, but the coolestpart about it, how it all
married in today to our coffeetalk this morning which, by the
way, I am creating, the coffeetalk spiritual grind christmas
collection gift pack.
(06:18):
It's going to have two coffeecups and our own special coffee
in it, by the way it's going tobe in the store.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah, so we found a way to make our own coffee blend
.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
And then put our trademark or our logo or
whatever Logo yeah.
On it, and so that's very coolthat we found that it's going to
be called Coffee Talk.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
It's the grind.
Name Coffee Talk, but it'sgoing to be a little gift pack
you can get with two coffee cups.
Name coffee, but it's going tobe a little gift pack.
You can get with two coffeecups and and over inside.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
That will be a little little something, something to
encourage people to have theircoffee talk in the mornings yeah
, I mean, that's how this allstarted for us and I just want
to take a quick side tour thatyou know.
Everything that we bring tothis microphone, to this podcast
, is something that we haveexperienced firsthand, and the
(07:09):
tricks and the tools that weused or are using to navigate
the experiences, or it'ssomething that we've worked with
other people as we coachhundreds and hundreds of
thousands of people.
It's a topic that came up on aconsistent basis this is not
(07:32):
just pull something out of yourbutt and let's talk about it and
hope that somebody getssomething out of it.
These are real live things thatwe talk about that, that we that
are going on in our bubble.
And the topic you bring up iswhat came up for me recently,
(07:53):
over the last few days that I amworking on restructuring my
perspective, and that is this Iwatched a movie and it brought
up for me this moment where Iwas like, okay, if my partner
were to leave today, my husbandand leave means, you know, leave
(08:22):
the relationship, leave the theplanet she actually said in
coffee talk this morning becomenon-human I think I said
non-physical.
Oh yeah, you did saynon-physical would there be
anything that I regret not doingthat was the question that I
asked myself and in this sectionof Life, pie, what I answered
(08:48):
back to myself when I was doingmy work over the last couple of
days is show him that just pure,deep, consistent love through
(09:09):
physical acts, through verbalconversation, and that I can do
better.
And what I found when I dugeven deeper is that I was
working from a template of fearbecause I, somewhere along the
way, I came to a place of wow,something ever does happen to
(09:33):
him.
And it was probably from ourlittle medical scare.
You know several.
What three, four years ago.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
We kind of went off on this sidetrack.
Golly is this.
It like what's gonna happenright having some medical stuff
with, uh, with this wholejourney, and I became fearful.
But the crazy part about is Ididn't.
I didn't consciously know thatI had become fearful and what I
(10:05):
did was I unconsciously began topull away from sharing myself
with you and accepting.
Accepting your tokens ofconnectiveness through physical
(10:26):
touch, holding hands I'm notjust talking sexual, I'm talking
, you know, walking by, givingyou a kiss on the cheek or
stopping to give you a hug orwhatever.
I stopped allowing myself toreceive it and I stopped
allowing myself to give itbecause somewhere in that
defining I said okay, well, if Istart pulling away now, when it
(10:49):
does happen, if it does happen,it'll hurt less.
And so inevitably, in anunconscious way, I was creating
the most miserable loneliness,loneliness, and it kept coming
out as a conversation betweenyou I have.
I feel like I'm living allalone, but you're here in my
(11:13):
bubble.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I don't know how many times I heard that I feel like
we're roommates.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I'm like and what I realized is I came to a place
where I realized it's me.
So, you guys, what I'm sayingis we teach you guys to look at
your reality as a mirror andrecognize what it's showing you,
and if you're verbalizingsomething, it's usually because
you need to hear it.
(11:37):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
So long story short.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
I've come to that place of realizing that
unconsciously I was running atemplate of fear of I'm you're
going away first of all, whichis a big fat lie.
You're not going anywhere,right this minute stuck with me,
so I'm living in this future.
What if you go away?
(12:03):
However, which is just anerroneous conversation, and it
keeps me living in the future.
I'm not even acknowledging thenow and I'm living from a place
of fear and because I had thefilter on, from my perspective
of fear, it wasn't even allowingme to show you love and
(12:25):
affection.
Of fear, it wasn't evenallowing me to show you love and
affection because I didn't wantto be attached to you, because
I didn't want to feel the hurt,but the convoluted part of it is
is that it didn't feelcomfortable, and it doesn't feel
comfortable when I don't allowmyself to act upon you.
Know, like there'd be times Iwalk by you and I just want to
give you a hug, yeah, and Idon't act on it and I don't let
(12:47):
myself because I don't want toreattach.
So that's how this topic cameabout.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
When we first started dating.
That's what you did, though.
Anywhere I went, you weremaking sure you were right there
in my bubble.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Right, that's what you keep telling me.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
But you don't remember it that way.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I don't think I ever really stopped to look at it
until now.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
And you're completely right, I was.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
And anywhere you went , I was in your bubble.
I didn't care what you thoughtabout it.
I think I still do that now.
I think wherever you go, I kindof just go with you.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You do it less, but that's because I nudge you back.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
That's a good point.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
It's your fault.
It's your fault.
It is completely because Icreate my reality and I own it.
I have no fault in any of thislife.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
That's what everybody's going to mess with
and they mess it up.
You know.
This same topic comes up inrelationships.
I guarantee you.
I believe so and like you know,like from a man's point of view
.
From my point of view, I hadn'tchanged anything.
I had continued to do thethings that I did.
And so I stopped and was likewhat am I doing?
Yeah, what's wrong with me?
(13:50):
What am I doing wrong?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
And I started to do self-blame.
And in this, what everybodyneeds to realize and that's one
of the topics in today's podcastfor me is there is not a blame
in a relationship, right, ifanything goes wrong with your
relationship, it's your fault.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Right.
And you have to look at it Well.
That's the kind of blame Right.
It needs to be more like acritique or an awareness.
There's not a projected blame.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I see If anything is going wrong, like for me, like
when you were going through that, I would ask you, like, what's
wrong?
Did I do something?
Did I make you angry?
Did I upset you?
And I was going through theprocesses of trying to figure
out what I did differently and Icouldn't find anything
different than I'd normally do,knowing what we know about sex.
Our relationship is phenomenaland our life, you know, we have
(14:39):
a, what most people dream of.
Because we communicate openly,people dream of because we
communicate openly, dream we, we, I, I could, I could walk up to
her and tell her I'm going tosleep with both her sisters
tonight and she'd be like, okay,I'll hold the camera I probably
would say yeah watch out nowfire, beware you know, but it's
(15:01):
the kind of relationship that wehave absolutely
and and it's great you, what'sreally cool about it is, from
the other side of this point, isyou saying those kind of things
and opening that door?
Men over the years have kind ofgotten a bad rap and they've
brought it upon themselves.
But when a woman opens the doorto say, hey, if you're ever
(15:22):
going to go cheap, call me andI'll go with you, I'll be the
wingman, it kind of takes thetaboo-ness out of it and it's a
whole nother way of thinking.
And so we're like Hmm, you knowcause guys have a tendency to
go out there?
Because we know sex is forprocreation and pleasure.
It doesn't create love, it's abonus of love and it's also for
(15:44):
procreation and pleasure.
And when guys would go out it'dbecome a challenge to a
pleasure.
But it opened up whole otherdoorways or communication of
thought for me.
It changed the way I thoughtand it was great.
It's a great place to be.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
But going back to the part of blame, you know, like
you were kind, of detaching alittle bit.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
No, I was not just a little bit.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Oh yeah, well, detaching and it will cause you
to pull away as well.
Yeah, um, because you, I'm sureI'm like what's going on?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
where'd the connection go well?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
and if I'm giving off vibes of I don't want you
around, I don't you around, Idon't want to hug, I don't want
to hug, don't touch me.
Then of course, you're going tomimic that back to me and not
even try eventually, yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
But anyway, going back to the blame part of it, is
there's really not a blamewithin it, you know, because we
have a tendency as humans toblame ourselves or blame the
other person.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
And when we start looking like it would have been
very easy for me to blame you inthat situation and turned it
into a fight.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
And instead I was just curious of what had
happened.
You know what had changed.
And so I went through theprocesses in my head of well, I
guess I screwed this one upsomewhere.
She's not telling me, you know.
And.
And so I went from looking atwhat I did and trying to figure
out what had happened to blamingmyself and I'm just never going
to figure it out.
That happens a lot in manyparameters of a relationship.
(17:18):
It can be finances.
That friend back in Texas thatfootball officiated with, he was
constantly complaining that hiswife was going out shopping.
She would go.
She would go to the mall whenhe went out to do football on on
Fridays and Saturdays with me.
She would go shop on Saturdayswith her friends.
(17:39):
And after probably I don't knowthree or four years of
listening to him complain aboutit, 28 weeks a year for football
season, I finally said to himwell, doesn't she work?
He said yeah.
And I was like what'd she do?
Oh, she's an attorney, don'tyou work for the grocery store?
(18:00):
Isn't she the breadwinner?
And he's he's like yeah, shemakes like three times more
money than I do, but I do thebills, I don't care, she's
making her own money.
Now, if he was out spending themoney that you made?
Or if y'all don't combine yourfinances, you're blaming her for
spending money.
Why, yeah, you're looking for aplace to blame.
(18:22):
That happens a lot in finances.
That happens in relationships.
That happens in friendships.
That happens, you know.
It happens all over the place.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And there's really no room for blame.
No, I would challenge everybodyto take the word blame out and
replace it with growth.
Anytime there's a situationwhere you're blaming somebody
else, you need to stop and lookat yourself and grow.
There's some opportunity ofgrowth there I agree.
So, uh, initial question wasare there any aspects of your
(18:52):
life that, if were gone today,that you would hold regret about
, and what can you do to are?
you asking me not experiencethat no, I'm just to the, to the
audience.
That would be the question that, if you're looking for some
opportunity for growth andexpansion, I would stop and say
(19:16):
are there any areas of my lifepie that if it ceased to exist
today would I have any regrets?
Or if I ceased, I mean, ifyou're the one laying on your
deathbed, would you be able tolay there and say I did exactly
what I wanted to do and how Iwanted to do it.
Or would you say, gosh, Iwished I had done this or gosh,
(19:41):
I wished I had done that?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
It's a great challenge great challenge regret
.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Are you living life to the fullest?
Are you living life big andlarge and ostentatious to where
you have no regrets?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
if people are being real with themselves.
I don't know how many times I'veheard people say man, I wish I
wouldn't done this right, or Iwish I would go do this exactly
this Exactly and if they'rebeing honest with themselves and
they stop and look and trulyget down to it why they're not
(20:14):
living life to the fullestExactly and having growth and
expansion, they would figure outthat life is not here for us to
sit and go to work from sevento five, come home and eat
dinner and watch tv until 10, goto bed, watch the news and get
up again and do that six, five,six days it absolutely can be
for some people it can, but ifyou stop and ask yourself, do I
(20:38):
have any regrets?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
and you honestly can answer no to that, then keep
doing what you're doing, man,yeah, it's.
You know, not everybody wantsto live their life the way we do
.
It's a good opportunity to kindof just pop in see how
everything's running on theinner dashboard of self, and if
(20:59):
you're looking to see if you'reclean and clear, that would be
one that I would check is do youhave any regrets?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I've been asked that question.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
And if you do explore , what areas in life are they?
You know, man, I wish I'd takenmy career to the next level.
I wished I had taken myeducation on to get my doctorate
(21:34):
.
I wished uh, you know, myrelationship had been more
physically intimate whateverwhatever that life pipe portion
is, if you have any regrets andyou're still breathing air, you
have the opportunity now to dosomething about it totally,
totally agree to begin again Imean, look, I learned to surf at
51, yeah, and I learned to surffrom a guy that's 58 oftentimes
(21:58):
you and I have such a longresume of life, a life resume
that people have a hard timebelieving that we have done so
much in our short little 50years and they don't believe us,
and I find it just very comical.
(22:19):
But the reality is is that welive life large If we want to go
try something?
Is that we live life large?
If we want to go try something,we go out there and we try it,
and it doesn't matter what theheck it is, man, I mean, I'm
telling you, it doesn't matterif it's scuba diving, skydiving,
learning how to do an app.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah, I'm doing that currently.
I'm learning how to do an app.
I'm actually building an appright now.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Writing a book.
Oh, yep, working on my secondWriting a bicycle yeah.
I mean it doesn't matter.
Don't let yourself besideswiped by fear.
Right, Go do it.
Figure out a way to do it.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
And that goes for relationships as well.
Oh yeah, don't.
Don't regret doing anythingwhen it comes to your
relationship, right, you know,if you have that thought in mind
, act on it, act on it.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
It's there for a reason don't have the regrets.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And when you, when you have like you know, in our
previous podcast, when we'vetalked about spiritual sex and
then we talk about appreciation,now we're talking about not
having regret, and this is allrelationship talk, yeah and when
you don't have regrets, youfind out like, like I think,
every single day, I have trueappreciation because I don't
have any regrets.
(23:40):
Do I have things I would havechanged a little differently?
Maybe, maybe, but I have thingsI would have changed a little
differently.
Maybe, maybe.
But I have no regrets because Istill have plans to go do a lot
of continue to live life.
Absolutely, and I can't haveregrets if I'm still living
Right.
And so, when it comes to yourrelationships, act upon it.
(24:00):
Yeah, you know, do your, doyour thing.
You know, don't at one timestop and say to yourself I wish
I'd have done that.
Yeah, yeah, you know, do yourthing.
You know.
Don't at one time stop and sayto yourself man I wish I'd have
done that.
Yeah, yeah.
And, like you know, you'retalking about our stories and
when we first came to the Tampaarea and I was telling the story
to one of the people about usopening a 50s diner, we
(24:24):
purchased it, built it, openedit, did a million dollars in
sales and closed it all in 10months.
Right, that was pretty funny.
Witness, exactly what happened.
We rented the place 54 dayslater.
We opened it.
We had it open for seven and ahalf months.
We did $987,000 in sales innine and a half months and then
(24:47):
you and I both looked at eachother one day in the kitchen
like I really just don't want todo this.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yeah, I mean it served its purpose.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
We came.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
We showed you that we could.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
We did.
We had lots of expansion andgrowth from it.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Oh yeah, totally, it was a good time you know that's
a good example of sometimes.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Things come into your reality and you put them in
place not because they'resupposed to be there forever,
right.
Not because they were everintended to come to full
fruition Right.
But sometimes because in doingthe actual journey to the end
goal is where you get the growthand expansion that you were
(25:28):
seeking, even if you didn'trealize you were seeking it.
And so then the end game, orthe goal of it, dissipates,
because it was never meant tohit the goal mark.
It was for your benefit alongthe way.
That's why people say sometimesthe importance is in the
(25:51):
journey itself instead of thefinish line or the goal.
Is that you were never meant toaccomplish the goal?
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You know, we should really have cups of coffee in
here.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I actually do have my hot tea.
Today I'm drinking tea calledmasala masala tea.
Oh, that's when you bought itlast yeah, it's an indian tea
and it's quite lovely you know,that guy was like I keep waiting
for you to order our spiritualgrind coffee cups so that I can
(26:26):
have it sitting here I willorder them.
Sorry, you can pour your.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Pepsi in it.
I've been like, not like Ihaven't been doing anything,
been a little busy, yeah forsure, starting to open in the
store, building an app.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Yeah.
Learning how to do videoSpeaking of the store is open
for business guys.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Grand opening the salty tarotmyshopifycom.
You can go to our website too,and we're going to have the
Salty Tarot app out within days.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
You think, are we there?
Speaker 1 (27:02):
yet, maybe two weeks, okay, but it's going to be in
beta in the next two days.
It'll be in beta.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Oh, in beta testing.
Yeah, very excited about that.
And then up and coming is your.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
The Power of Positive Thought School Right Workshop.
It's a 16-week workshop.
It's on Eventbrite.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
It starts on October the 3rd and it runs through
january the 16th right right, um, which actually may go a week
longer than that, because Iforgot about halloween.
That's a friday this year oh,yeah, yeah, I saw, that, but see
what happens.
I'll ask the class when we getto that point.
But yeah um, so that's oneventbrite.
It's 25 a week or it's 360 ifyou buy the whole session up
(27:46):
front, gonna have a workbook,it's got lots of things with it
and a certificate at the end Ifyou complete 80% of the courses.
And then it'll be on ourShopify or our website
eventually, so y'all canpurchase it if you want to Is
that.
Hiccups.
It was the Hiccups, yeah, cameout of nowhere.
(28:07):
Oh yeah, you know what they sayabout hiccups.
A spirit just walked by.
A what A spirit.
Just walked by and gives youhiccups.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Like walked through you or by you.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I've never heard that .
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I've never heard that I play with dead people all the
time and I don't get hiccups.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Well, I don't know where your tiddlywinks are, but
if they walk by me I get hiccups.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I don't think I got any of those.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
You didn't get any tiddlywinks.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
No.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I don't even know what I mean.
I know what they are.
This is a little game that youmake them jump.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It's a real game, yeah it's a real game.
But it's a real game.
Yeah, it's a real game.
Omg, I was today years old.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
It's actually their little round clear plastic
pieces and they're likesee-through in their different
color and I believe the game wasas you, you have to take your
tiddly wink and you, you, youpush on the edge of it and make
theirs hop out of the circle,and if it don't hop out of the
circle, they pick theirs up andthey pop one years out, and then
(29:16):
the first person to get theother person's tiddly winks all
out of the circle wins oh, I seeyeah, you don't.
Yeah, that's a true, that's areal game.
They used to come in a littlecardboard box and it was like 20
of each color.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
And yeah, it's actually a science game because
it makes you learn how everyaction has an equal and opposite
reaction.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Kind of like a physics science game.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yeah, a physics science game, and you learn how
to angle that energy away fromyou and pop it out of the circle
.
I got pretty good at it when Iwas a kid, yeah, but it's kind
of like marbles.
You know shooting marbles so noregrets no regrets, yeah live
life large played all thosegames on top of a made mud pies,
(30:02):
played in my cars and come tofind out I was on top of a
septic tank figure out a wayBashar says on his.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I love listening to Bashar.
Yeah, he says on one of histhings because I can hear the
buzz, and it's the buzz in thecollective.
I can hear it and it says thisyeah, it's real easy for you to
say you have all this money tobe able to just go do whatever
(30:37):
you want to do, and I livepaycheck to paycheck and.
I can barely afford to buygroceries.
Pick one small thing and do it.
Figure out a way to do it.
Anyway, back to what he says,when you can do more with less
(31:03):
you will Less becomes more.
Yeah, your less becomes more,yep.
I mean and the thing I want tobring into play is you and I
have both been on journeys wherewe literally took our last
couple hundred dollars, or likewith me, I took the cleaning
(31:26):
supplies that I clean in my ownhouse off of under my cabinet
and I went and started acleaning company.
Yeah, and very successfulcleaning company made lots of
money, and so it can be done.
You just have to get your buttout there and do it.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
You know what it's more about.
It's not about what you have.
It's about what you have insideof you.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Yeah, the gumption, because we get caught in a rut.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
You know people say I can't put $20 in my 401k, I
don't have the gas to do this.
When they just do it, what theyfind out is the energy flows.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
And everything goes right.
But what are we where?
It's that frog mentality andand have you heard the analogy
of the frog?
You put a frog in, you take afrog and you put him in a pot of
boiling water and he'll jumpright back out no shit and you
put a he will wait, stop, hewill yeah, yeah, he'll jump out
(32:27):
of the water because it's hot.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Now you take it you put him in there alive yeah why
would you put him in there alive?
Speaker 1 (32:40):
what it's.
I'm just making an analogy here.
Bear with me here.
Okay, miss distracted.
So you take it.
It's an analogy.
You put a hot, you put a froginto a pot of boiling water.
That frog will jump out 100.
Now you take a frog and you puthim into a pot of cold water
and turn the heat up on it andlet that water come to a boil.
(33:03):
That frog won't ever jump outreally sit there and die what,
and it's the same concept thatwe get caught up in in life.
We get caught into that same.
We don't realize what's goingon around us.
Yeah, and because we get sounfocused with our reality that
we create this environment.
(33:23):
That's safe.
Now, that frog in hisenvironment, that's nice warm
water until it gets to a boiland then he don't live much
longer.
But he won't jump out becausehe's caught up in the mix and
it's, and it's, it's.
That's true analogy.
That's actually a scientific,scientifically proven and the
(33:47):
the point of it, that is, iswhen you get caught up in that
daily grind and you're justsitting in that cold water as it
heats up, you don't evenrealize it it'll totally engulf
you and then next thing you knowyou're dead and you have
regrets like that.
That frog probably regrettednot jumping out right.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
so you're on your deathbed and you have regrets.
I wish I had, I wished, I had,I wish, I had, I wished, I had,
I wish I had.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Well, you hear everybody say I got a bucket
list.
How many people actually dotheir bucket list?
Right, go do your bucket list,yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Somebody, a country guy, wrote the song Live Life
Like I'm Dying.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Live like I was dying , that's a very good motto.
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
It's definitely something I bring into my circle
now is stay in the now, I meanthe reality is, we're all dying
humans.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
We're all dying right .
Sometimes you might as welllive now yeah and have a good
time yeah, that's right, justI'm not gonna die for a long
time.
I still have a lot of stuff toget done, so you never get it
done nope, and I don't plan onever getting it done, but I will
get a bunch more done rightanyway.
(34:56):
So you know, going back to therelationship and not having the
regrets is you know?
Because we talked about therelationships, the two weeks of
the spiritual sex, and then wetalked about appreciation and
now we're talking about regretyeah and you're not having
regrets.
And when you have a bond withsomebody else and you take for
granted those things that theydo, you will regret it.
(35:16):
And what was that?
Look for.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
You have a bond with somebody else like super glue.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Well, sometimes, yeah , I'm rubber, you're glue.
Well, sometimes, yeah, I'mrubber, you're glue.
I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
She's loco in the cabeza.
Oh, we know some Spanish.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Living life without regrets is the new challenge.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Yeah, it's the challenge of the week you know,
you know, change some habits.
Yes, make yourself aware, askthe question.
That would be the first thing,because that's, that's basically
what happened.
So I was watching this seriesand the grandfather passes away.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Is that the one you've been watching?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yes, Good grief, it's so drama-filled.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
She's up until like 3.30 in the morning watching it.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I don't normally watch all this trauma, drama,
nonsense, but for some reason Iwas drawn to this series.
It's a seasonal thing, it's gotlike three seasons and I binge
watched it and because I gotsnickered in I know I got
snickered in but you know,everything has reason and what
(36:40):
came out of it was oh my gosh,if this man that I loved weren't
here anymore, would I have anyregrets?
And on the flip side of thatcoin, if I found out that I
wasn't going to be here in youknow days or weeks, do I have
any regrets and do I haveanything that I want to get done
(37:05):
?
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Right yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
And so that would be.
The first step is stop and askyourself that question on both
sides of the coin and see whereit takes you if you're, you know
, in a curious mindset of havingsomething to play with or
whatever, or curious about whatit will bring up for you,
because hopefully someday youget to a point where clearing
(37:32):
beliefs and changing habitsbecomes fun, yeah, and
interesting, kind of likeuntangling a pattern or solving
a mystery.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yes, Anyway, guys, hey, so yes, on October 3rd we
are starting our Power ofThought School.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
I feel like you do too much advertising or a
workshop.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Well, it's about time to wrap up.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
That was quick.
It was quick.
The Power of Thought Workshopat the Holistic House in Holly
Hill.
Yeah, come join us.
Come join us.
You can sign up there at HollyHill.
You can call the Holistic Houseand sign up for it to her over
the phone and pay for it on site.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Are you going to do a thing where signups are
accepted at the door at adifferent price?
It depends.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
We do have a limit.
We can only have 40.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
I see.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
And so we have a limit.
We can only have 40.
I see, and so we have a limit.
So if it fills up, then wewon't be able to let people in,
yeah, and if it fills up and wehave a lot of draw, we'll do
more than one day a week.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Yeah, we can do it again.
We can do it twice a week.
We can do it on Saturday aswell, if we need to, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
But anyway, if you pay for the whole workshop up
front up there, you can do it oneventbrite and save 40 on the
workshop and uh, that's prettynice.
No, eventbrite gets theirlittle piece of it, but it is
what it is and um, yeah, it'llcome with the whole workbook and
everything yeah, workbook got asyllabus.
I got a certificate yeah andmaybe some little surprises at
the end for people like adum-dum yeah, maybe a dum-dum,
(39:13):
or maybe some merch, oh anyway.
Um then, on top of that, we havethe salty tarot is now open.
That's the store.
It's the salty tarot, myshopifycom nice, yeah, we're
waiting.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
So the salty tarot oracle cards, which started all
of this with the store andeverything, they are complete,
they're in printing and I wantto have them in my hot hand
before I put them in the storebecause I want to see how this
company is going to print themand make sure it meets my
standards.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah, they're actually in the store.
They can pre-order them.
I just put it in notes we won'trelease them until we see the
quality.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Right, I want to definitely evaluate the quality,
but it is a custom handmadedeck and it's going to be.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
It's the Black Innards.
What do they call that?
The Black Interior Liner card.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Black Innards it.
They call that the blackinterior liner card.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Black innards yeah, it's an internal black.
It's got this sheet inside thecard that keeps it from being
see-through.
I can't remember what they callit AWD or something.
They're high-end cards.
But they'll be on our website.
We have some merch on here.
I'll show you on the thing wehave the bouncer of energetic
bullshit.
Baby onesie, tell me that ain'ta cool little onesie.
(40:32):
But anyway, this is what thestore looks like.
Guys, check us out on MyShopify.
We appreciate it.
And then also, you know, if youget out roaming the web one day
, you can check out our website.
It's right here, yeah.
TheMarketCentersorg and you canlearn all about us and you can
see our website it's right here,yeah, the MerckCentersorg and
you can learn all about us andyou can see our services and get
links to our podcast and youcan contact us via the web and
(40:57):
all kind of our Our blogs onthere.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Our blogs on there.
The books are on there, right.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Yeah, the books are on here.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Everything is on here that you want or need.
Uh-oh, everything is on herethat you want or need.
Uh oh, the conversation aboutsex is getting started.
That's our, that's one of ourblogs, and it also tells you our
history.
Anyway, guys, hey, don't forgetto look us up on social media.
We're on Facebook, instagram,tiktok and Twitter that's right
and soon to be on my blog spot.
(41:25):
So we'll be on my blog spot herereal soon.
So we'll be adding the blog andit won't be long.
We will be adding asubscription to the website so
you can subscribe to thenewsletter or, if you subscribe
to the app, you'll get thenewsletter as well.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Very good, anyway, lots of cool stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
We got a lot of stuff going on, guys, and don't mean
to plug so long, but we have alot of things that are we're
working on.
Uh, hey, don't forget to like,follow, share and tell your
friends about us.
Man, hey, you know, I mean putit out there.
You know this.
This is how we support.
This is by people following andsharing us and downloading the
podcast.
Yeah, for sure, and uh, don'tforget to ring that bell.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Love ya We'll see you next time.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Hello everybody, welcome back to the show.
We are here in house again.
As you can tell, we'rerecording.
How y'all like it, you like it,I can't tell.
I did it.
Good morning.
I feel like we have an audiencetoday, like we're there's.
We have cameras stuckeverywhere.
I feel like we're being watched, oogly.
It's like somebody's spying onus.
(00:59):
I feel like it's crazy.
But anyway, uh, welcome back tothe spiritual grind.
Welcome to the spiritual grind.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Welcome to the video world, yeah the video world.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Man, we're really trying to get this worked out,
where it's consistent and set upthe right way.
If you were in studio, youwould say how are you setting
this up the right way right now?
But we're learning.
Okay, it's a learning curve.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, definitely we're experiencing that new
learning curve going from audioto full video.
But I remember when you wereexperiencing that learning curve
, just figuring out the podcastthough, yeah, I researched this
A whole year ago.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Yeah, I researched the best stuff to get you know
for podcasting and they didn'ttell you the learning curve
behind it no, so I went andbought the roadcaster duo and
the road mics, all the fancyequipment.
Yeah, downloaded all the stuffand, wow, it took me a minute to
learn it all well, I mean,aside from purchasing the
(01:57):
equipment you had, like this bighuge manual, manual that you
had me print off and I canremember you sitting there for
hours on end reading throughthat and figuring out the
buttons.
The Rodecaster itself does somuch filtering that I had to set
(02:18):
all that up to where it'sautomatic and every time we move
I have to change the filtersmove around automatic, you know,
and like every time we move, Ihave to change the filters, move
around, and well, not only that, but you had different apps
that it requires yes and thoseeach had their own individual
accounts that he had to set upyeah, this didn't have, uh, its
(02:38):
own app yet.
Well, it does.
Actually.
Let me reframe, let me rephrasethat it's got its.
It's's got an interface app towhere you can change the sounds
and everything and downloaddirectly to your computer.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Right, but I'm just talking about, like the
Buzzsprout and Audacity, I hadto set all those accounts up.
Different accounts that feedinto one and the other to
actually be able to edit andupload.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Don't get me wrong.
Buzzsprout's easy and so isaudacity.
It is now, but get it set up Iwas gonna say you know yeah I
hate when people use that wordit's easy.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
They triggered me because I remember the long
evenings of listening to youwith a few cuss words.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Blue choice words in the background.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah, I was sitting there trying to get it all set
up.
So it may feel easy now, but atthe time it was.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
It was fun.
It was really fun to learn.
Actually, I enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Yeah, but it had its moments.
At the time it was frustrating.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh, that's right, Our topic of the day you ready for
that, of course?
Is everybody, are y'all ready?
Y'all ready for this?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
look at this beauty.
I just wanted to show thisbeautiful, you're selling that
ball.
This one is this is selenitebut I I feel like it has a
mermaid essence.
I don't know if the camera canpick it up or not, but this is
my all-time favorite bubble wrap.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, you see it was in Hurricane Milton in bubble
wrap.
It sat in the salt water untilall the water receded at the
stone shop in Clearwater.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Right.
And what it did is it createdthese lovely little mermaid
scales.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Yeah, it does look like scales, Scale yeah it's
kind of cool.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
And it is so wonderful.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
It's crazy what saltwater does to that.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
It's wonderful.
I was like, oh yeah, I got tohave that one man.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
That's what saltwater does when it has to sit.
He said it was in underwaterfor like three weeks in the
saltwater, but it's pretty cool,you got it.
It did turn out pretty cool, hesold it cheap.
He did because he saw itdamaged, Of course you bought
this one too, and then youbought that one.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
But he saw it damaged , I saw perfection.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah, I get it Kind of like me.
Everybody saw me damaged.
You saw perfection.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
That's up for debate.
I'm kidding, did you all hearit?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
But anyway, that kind of carries right over into our
topic today.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You do tell.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You know, for the last three podcasts we've talked
about spiritual, had twosessions on spiritual sex, and
then we also have a episode onappreciation, and this morning
we had a coffee talk.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
And it kind of married right into the whole
theme of today's podcast topicfor me and that is don't take
for granted what you appreciateand don't take for granted when
you're in a relationship on anypart of it.
Because you know, we kind oftouched on it a little bit in
(05:57):
the relationship episode two,relationship sex on the episode
two part.
But don't expect what somebodychooses to do don't make an
expectation, but the coolestpart about it, how it all
married in today to our coffeetalk this morning which, by the
way, I am creating, the coffeetalk spiritual grind christmas
collection gift pack.
(06:18):
It's going to have two coffeecups and our own special coffee
in it, by the way it's going tobe in the store.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah, so we found a way to make our own coffee blend
.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
And then put our trademark or our logo or
whatever Logo yeah.
On it, and so that's very coolthat we found that it's going to
be called Coffee Talk.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
It's the grind.
Name Coffee Talk, but it'sgoing to be a little gift pack
you can get with two coffee cups.
Name coffee, but it's going tobe a little gift pack.
You can get with two coffeecups and and over inside.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
That will be a little little something, something to
encourage people to have theircoffee talk in the mornings yeah
, I mean, that's how this allstarted for us and I just want
to take a quick side tour thatyou know.
Everything that we bring tothis microphone, to this podcast
, is something that we haveexperienced firsthand, and the
(07:09):
tricks and the tools that weused or are using to navigate
the experiences, or it'ssomething that we've worked with
other people as we coachhundreds and hundreds of
thousands of people.
It's a topic that came up on aconsistent basis this is not
(07:32):
just pull something out of yourbutt and let's talk about it and
hope that somebody getssomething out of it.
These are real live things thatwe talk about that, that we that
are going on in our bubble.
And the topic you bring up iswhat came up for me recently,
(07:53):
over the last few days that I amworking on restructuring my
perspective, and that is this Iwatched a movie and it brought
up for me this moment where Iwas like, okay, if my partner
were to leave today, my husbandand leave means, you know, leave
(08:22):
the relationship, leave the theplanet she actually said in
coffee talk this morning becomenon-human I think I said
non-physical.
Oh yeah, you did saynon-physical would there be
anything that I regret not doingthat was the question that I
asked myself and in this sectionof Life, pie, what I answered
(08:48):
back to myself when I was doingmy work over the last couple of
days is show him that just pure,deep, consistent love through
(09:09):
physical acts, through verbalconversation, and that I can do
better.
And what I found when I dugeven deeper is that I was
working from a template of fearbecause I, somewhere along the
way, I came to a place of wow,something ever does happen to
(09:33):
him.
And it was probably from ourlittle medical scare.
You know several.
What three, four years ago.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
We kind of went off on this sidetrack.
Golly is this.
It like what's gonna happenright having some medical stuff
with, uh, with this wholejourney, and I became fearful.
But the crazy part about is Ididn't.
I didn't consciously know thatI had become fearful and what I
(10:05):
did was I unconsciously began topull away from sharing myself
with you and accepting.
Accepting your tokens ofconnectiveness through physical
(10:26):
touch, holding hands I'm notjust talking sexual, I'm talking
, you know, walking by, givingyou a kiss on the cheek or
stopping to give you a hug orwhatever.
I stopped allowing myself toreceive it and I stopped
allowing myself to give itbecause somewhere in that
defining I said okay, well, if Istart pulling away now, when it
(10:49):
does happen, if it does happen,it'll hurt less.
And so inevitably, in anunconscious way, I was creating
the most miserable loneliness,loneliness, and it kept coming
out as a conversation betweenyou I have.
I feel like I'm living allalone, but you're here in my
(11:13):
bubble.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I don't know how many times I heard that I feel like
we're roommates.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I'm like and what I realized is I came to a place
where I realized it's me.
So, you guys, what I'm sayingis we teach you guys to look at
your reality as a mirror andrecognize what it's showing you,
and if you're verbalizingsomething, it's usually because
you need to hear it.
(11:37):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
So long story short.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
I've come to that place of realizing that
unconsciously I was running atemplate of fear of I'm you're
going away first of all, whichis a big fat lie.
You're not going anywhere,right this minute stuck with me,
so I'm living in this future.
What if you go away?
(12:03):
However, which is just anerroneous conversation, and it
keeps me living in the future.
I'm not even acknowledging thenow and I'm living from a place
of fear and because I had thefilter on, from my perspective
of fear, it wasn't even allowingme to show you love and
(12:25):
affection.
Of fear, it wasn't evenallowing me to show you love and
affection because I didn't wantto be attached to you, because
I didn't want to feel the hurt,but the convoluted part of it is
is that it didn't feelcomfortable, and it doesn't feel
comfortable when I don't allowmyself to act upon you.
Know, like there'd be times Iwalk by you and I just want to
give you a hug, yeah, and Idon't act on it and I don't let
(12:47):
myself because I don't want toreattach.
So that's how this topic cameabout.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
When we first started dating.
That's what you did, though.
Anywhere I went, you weremaking sure you were right there
in my bubble.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Right, that's what you keep telling me.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
But you don't remember it that way.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I don't think I ever really stopped to look at it
until now.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
And you're completely right, I was.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
And anywhere you went , I was in your bubble.
I didn't care what you thoughtabout it.
I think I still do that now.
I think wherever you go, I kindof just go with you.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
You do it less, but that's because I nudge you back.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
That's a good point.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
It's your fault.
It's your fault.
It is completely because Icreate my reality and I own it.
I have no fault in any of thislife.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
That's what everybody's going to mess with
and they mess it up.
You know.
This same topic comes up inrelationships.
I guarantee you.
I believe so and like you know,like from a man's point of view
.
From my point of view, I hadn'tchanged anything.
I had continued to do thethings that I did.
And so I stopped and was likewhat am I doing?
Yeah, what's wrong with me?
(13:50):
What am I doing wrong?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
And I started to do self-blame.
And in this, what everybodyneeds to realize and that's one
of the topics in today's podcastfor me is there is not a blame
in a relationship, right, ifanything goes wrong with your
relationship, it's your fault.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Right.
And you have to look at it Well.
That's the kind of blame Right.
It needs to be more like acritique or an awareness.
There's not a projected blame.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I see If anything is going wrong, like for me, like
when you were going through that, I would ask you, like, what's
wrong?
Did I do something?
Did I make you angry?
Did I upset you?
And I was going through theprocesses of trying to figure
out what I did differently and Icouldn't find anything
different than I'd normally do,knowing what we know about sex.
Our relationship is phenomenaland our life, you know, we have
(14:39):
a, what most people dream of.
Because we communicate openly,people dream of because we
communicate openly, dream we, we, I, I could, I could walk up to
her and tell her I'm going tosleep with both her sisters
tonight and she'd be like, okay,I'll hold the camera I probably
would say yeah watch out nowfire, beware you know, but it's
(15:01):
the kind of relationship that wehave absolutely
and and it's great you, what'sreally cool about it is, from
the other side of this point, isyou saying those kind of things
and opening that door?
Men over the years have kind ofgotten a bad rap and they've
brought it upon themselves.
But when a woman opens the doorto say, hey, if you're ever
(15:22):
going to go cheap, call me andI'll go with you, I'll be the
wingman, it kind of takes thetaboo-ness out of it and it's a
whole nother way of thinking.
And so we're like Hmm, you knowcause guys have a tendency to
go out there?
Because we know sex is forprocreation and pleasure.
It doesn't create love, it's abonus of love and it's also for
(15:44):
procreation and pleasure.
And when guys would go out it'dbecome a challenge to a
pleasure.
But it opened up whole otherdoorways or communication of
thought for me.
It changed the way I thoughtand it was great.
It's a great place to be.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
But going back to the part of blame, you know, like
you were kind, of detaching alittle bit.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
No, I was not just a little bit.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Oh yeah, well, detaching and it will cause you
to pull away as well.
Yeah, um, because you, I'm sureI'm like what's going on?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
where'd the connection go well?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
and if I'm giving off vibes of I don't want you
around, I don't you around, Idon't want to hug, I don't want
to hug, don't touch me.
Then of course, you're going tomimic that back to me and not
even try eventually, yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
But anyway, going back to the blame part of it, is
there's really not a blamewithin it, you know, because we
have a tendency as humans toblame ourselves or blame the
other person.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
And when we start looking like it would have been
very easy for me to blame you inthat situation and turned it
into a fight.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
And instead I was just curious of what had
happened.
You know what had changed.
And so I went through theprocesses in my head of well, I
guess I screwed this one upsomewhere.
She's not telling me, you know.
And.
And so I went from looking atwhat I did and trying to figure
out what had happened to blamingmyself and I'm just never going
to figure it out.
That happens a lot in manyparameters of a relationship.
(17:18):
It can be finances.
That friend back in Texas thatfootball officiated with, he was
constantly complaining that hiswife was going out shopping.
She would go.
She would go to the mall whenhe went out to do football on on
Fridays and Saturdays with me.
She would go shop on Saturdayswith her friends.
(17:39):
And after probably I don't knowthree or four years of
listening to him complain aboutit, 28 weeks a year for football
season, I finally said to himwell, doesn't she work?
He said yeah.
And I was like what'd she do?
Oh, she's an attorney, don'tyou work for the grocery store?
(18:00):
Isn't she the breadwinner?
And he's he's like yeah, shemakes like three times more
money than I do, but I do thebills, I don't care, she's
making her own money.
Now, if he was out spending themoney that you made?
Or if y'all don't combine yourfinances, you're blaming her for
spending money.
Why, yeah, you're looking for aplace to blame.
(18:22):
That happens a lot in finances.
That happens in relationships.
That happens in friendships.
That happens, you know.
It happens all over the place.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And there's really no room for blame.
No, I would challenge everybodyto take the word blame out and
replace it with growth.
Anytime there's a situationwhere you're blaming somebody
else, you need to stop and lookat yourself and grow.
There's some opportunity ofgrowth there I agree.
So, uh, initial question wasare there any aspects of your
(18:52):
life that, if were gone today,that you would hold regret about
, and what can you do to are?
you asking me not experiencethat no, I'm just to the, to the
audience.
That would be the question that, if you're looking for some
opportunity for growth andexpansion, I would stop and say
(19:16):
are there any areas of my lifepie that if it ceased to exist
today would I have any regrets?
Or if I ceased, I mean, ifyou're the one laying on your
deathbed, would you be able tolay there and say I did exactly
what I wanted to do and how Iwanted to do it.
Or would you say, gosh, Iwished I had done this or gosh,
(19:41):
I wished I had done that?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
It's a great challenge great challenge regret
.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Are you living life to the fullest?
Are you living life big andlarge and ostentatious to where
you have no regrets?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
if people are being real with themselves.
I don't know how many times I'veheard people say man, I wish I
wouldn't done this right, or Iwish I would go do this exactly
this Exactly and if they'rebeing honest with themselves and
they stop and look and trulyget down to it why they're not
(20:14):
living life to the fullestExactly and having growth and
expansion, they would figure outthat life is not here for us to
sit and go to work from sevento five, come home and eat
dinner and watch tv until 10, goto bed, watch the news and get
up again and do that six, five,six days it absolutely can be
for some people it can, but ifyou stop and ask yourself, do I
(20:38):
have any regrets?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
and you honestly can answer no to that, then keep
doing what you're doing, man,yeah, it's.
You know, not everybody wantsto live their life the way we do
.
It's a good opportunity to kindof just pop in see how
everything's running on theinner dashboard of self, and if
(20:59):
you're looking to see if you'reclean and clear, that would be
one that I would check is do youhave any regrets?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I've been asked that question.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
And if you do explore , what areas in life are they?
You know, man, I wish I'd takenmy career to the next level.
I wished I had taken myeducation on to get my doctorate
(21:34):
.
I wished uh, you know, myrelationship had been more
physically intimate whateverwhatever that life pipe portion
is, if you have any regrets andyou're still breathing air, you
have the opportunity now to dosomething about it totally,
totally agree to begin again Imean, look, I learned to surf at
51, yeah, and I learned to surffrom a guy that's 58 oftentimes
(21:58):
you and I have such a longresume of life, a life resume
that people have a hard timebelieving that we have done so
much in our short little 50years and they don't believe us,
and I find it just very comical.
(22:19):
But the reality is is that welive life large If we want to go
try something?
Is that we live life large?
If we want to go try something,we go out there and we try it,
and it doesn't matter what theheck it is, man, I mean, I'm
telling you, it doesn't matterif it's scuba diving, skydiving,
learning how to do an app.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Yeah, I'm doing that currently.
I'm learning how to do an app.
I'm actually building an appright now.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Writing a book.
Oh, yep, working on my secondWriting a bicycle yeah.
I mean it doesn't matter.
Don't let yourself besideswiped by fear.
Right, Go do it.
Figure out a way to do it.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
And that goes for relationships as well.
Oh yeah, don't.
Don't regret doing anythingwhen it comes to your
relationship, right, you know,if you have that thought in mind
, act on it, act on it.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
It's there for a reason don't have the regrets.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And when you, when you have like you know, in our
previous podcast, when we'vetalked about spiritual sex and
then we talk about appreciation,now we're talking about not
having regret, and this is allrelationship talk, yeah and when
you don't have regrets, youfind out like, like I think,
every single day, I have trueappreciation because I don't
have any regrets.
(23:40):
Do I have things I would havechanged a little differently?
Maybe, maybe, but I have thingsI would have changed a little
differently.
Maybe, maybe.
But I have no regrets because Istill have plans to go do a lot
of continue to live life.
Absolutely, and I can't haveregrets if I'm still living
Right.
And so, when it comes to yourrelationships, act upon it.
(24:00):
Yeah, you know, do your, doyour thing.
You know, don't at one timestop and say to yourself I wish
I'd have done that.
Yeah, yeah, you know, do yourthing.
You know.
Don't at one time stop and sayto yourself man I wish I'd have
done that.
Yeah, yeah.
And, like you know, you'retalking about our stories and
when we first came to the Tampaarea and I was telling the story
to one of the people about usopening a 50s diner, we
(24:24):
purchased it, built it, openedit, did a million dollars in
sales and closed it all in 10months.
Right, that was pretty funny.
Witness, exactly what happened.
We rented the place 54 dayslater.
We opened it.
We had it open for seven and ahalf months.
We did $987,000 in sales innine and a half months and then
(24:47):
you and I both looked at eachother one day in the kitchen
like I really just don't want todo this.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yeah, I mean it served its purpose.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
We came.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
We showed you that we could.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
We did.
We had lots of expansion andgrowth from it.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Oh yeah, totally, it was a good time you know that's
a good example of sometimes.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Things come into your reality and you put them in
place not because they'resupposed to be there forever,
right.
Not because they were everintended to come to full
fruition Right.
But sometimes because in doingthe actual journey to the end
goal is where you get the growthand expansion that you were
(25:28):
seeking, even if you didn'trealize you were seeking it.
And so then the end game, orthe goal of it, dissipates,
because it was never meant tohit the goal mark.
It was for your benefit alongthe way.
That's why people say sometimesthe importance is in the
(25:51):
journey itself instead of thefinish line or the goal.
Is that you were never meant toaccomplish the goal?
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You know, we should really have cups of coffee in
here.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I actually do have my hot tea.
Today I'm drinking tea calledmasala masala tea.
Oh, that's when you bought itlast yeah, it's an indian tea
and it's quite lovely you know,that guy was like I keep waiting
for you to order our spiritualgrind coffee cups so that I can
(26:26):
have it sitting here I willorder them.
Sorry, you can pour your.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Pepsi in it.
I've been like, not like Ihaven't been doing anything,
been a little busy, yeah forsure, starting to open in the
store, building an app.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Yeah.
Learning how to do videoSpeaking of the store is open
for business guys.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Grand opening the salty tarotmyshopifycom.
You can go to our website too,and we're going to have the
Salty Tarot app out within days.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
You think, are we there?
Speaker 1 (27:02):
yet, maybe two weeks, okay, but it's going to be in
beta in the next two days.
It'll be in beta.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Oh, in beta testing.
Yeah, very excited about that.
And then up and coming is your.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
The Power of Positive Thought School Right Workshop.
It's a 16-week workshop.
It's on Eventbrite.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
It starts on October the 3rd and it runs through
january the 16th right right, um, which actually may go a week
longer than that, because Iforgot about halloween.
That's a friday this year oh,yeah, yeah, I saw, that, but see
what happens.
I'll ask the class when we getto that point.
But yeah um, so that's oneventbrite.
It's 25 a week or it's 360 ifyou buy the whole session up
(27:46):
front, gonna have a workbook,it's got lots of things with it
and a certificate at the end Ifyou complete 80% of the courses.
And then it'll be on ourShopify or our website
eventually, so y'all canpurchase it if you want to Is
that.
Hiccups.
It was the Hiccups, yeah, cameout of nowhere.
(28:07):
Oh yeah, you know what they sayabout hiccups.
A spirit just walked by.
A what A spirit.
Just walked by and gives youhiccups.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Like walked through you or by you.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I've never heard that .
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I've never heard that I play with dead people all the
time and I don't get hiccups.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Well, I don't know where your tiddlywinks are, but
if they walk by me I get hiccups.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I don't think I got any of those.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
You didn't get any tiddlywinks.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
No.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
I don't even know what I mean.
I know what they are.
This is a little game that youmake them jump.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It's a real game, yeah it's a real game.
But it's a real game.
Yeah, it's a real game.
Omg, I was today years old.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
It's actually their little round clear plastic
pieces and they're likesee-through in their different
color and I believe the game wasas you, you have to take your
tiddly wink and you, you, youpush on the edge of it and make
theirs hop out of the circle,and if it don't hop out of the
circle, they pick theirs up andthey pop one years out, and then
(29:16):
the first person to get theother person's tiddly winks all
out of the circle wins oh, I seeyeah, you don't.
Yeah, that's a true, that's areal game.
They used to come in a littlecardboard box and it was like 20
of each color.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
And yeah, it's actually a science game because
it makes you learn how everyaction has an equal and opposite
reaction.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Kind of like a physics science game.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yeah, a physics science game, and you learn how
to angle that energy away fromyou and pop it out of the circle
.
I got pretty good at it when Iwas a kid, yeah, but it's kind
of like marbles.
You know shooting marbles so noregrets no regrets, yeah live
life large played all thosegames on top of a made mud pies,
(30:02):
played in my cars and come tofind out I was on top of a
septic tank figure out a wayBashar says on his.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I love listening to Bashar.
Yeah, he says on one of histhings because I can hear the
buzz, and it's the buzz in thecollective.
I can hear it and it says thisyeah, it's real easy for you to
say you have all this money tobe able to just go do whatever
(30:37):
you want to do, and I livepaycheck to paycheck and.
I can barely afford to buygroceries.
Pick one small thing and do it.
Figure out a way to do it.
Anyway, back to what he says,when you can do more with less
(31:03):
you will Less becomes more.
Yeah, your less becomes more,yep.
I mean and the thing I want tobring into play is you and I
have both been on journeys wherewe literally took our last
couple hundred dollars, or likewith me, I took the cleaning
(31:26):
supplies that I clean in my ownhouse off of under my cabinet
and I went and started acleaning company.
Yeah, and very successfulcleaning company made lots of
money, and so it can be done.
You just have to get your buttout there and do it.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
You know what it's more about.
It's not about what you have.
It's about what you have insideof you.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Yeah, the gumption, because we get caught in a rut.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
You know people say I can't put $20 in my 401k, I
don't have the gas to do this.
When they just do it, what theyfind out is the energy flows.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
And everything goes right.
But what are we where?
It's that frog mentality andand have you heard the analogy
of the frog?
You put a frog in, you take afrog and you put him in a pot of
boiling water and he'll jumpright back out no shit and you
put a he will wait, stop, hewill yeah, yeah, he'll jump out
(32:27):
of the water because it's hot.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Now you take it you put him in there alive yeah why
would you put him in there alive?
Speaker 1 (32:40):
what it's.
I'm just making an analogy here.
Bear with me here.
Okay, miss distracted.
So you take it.
It's an analogy.
You put a hot, you put a froginto a pot of boiling water.
That frog will jump out 100.
Now you take a frog and you puthim into a pot of cold water
and turn the heat up on it andlet that water come to a boil.
(33:03):
That frog won't ever jump outreally sit there and die what,
and it's the same concept thatwe get caught up in in life.
We get caught into that same.
We don't realize what's goingon around us.
Yeah, and because we get sounfocused with our reality that
we create this environment.
(33:23):
That's safe.
Now, that frog in hisenvironment, that's nice warm
water until it gets to a boiland then he don't live much
longer.
But he won't jump out becausehe's caught up in the mix and
it's, and it's, it's.
That's true analogy.
That's actually a scientific,scientifically proven and the
(33:47):
the point of it, that is, iswhen you get caught up in that
daily grind and you're justsitting in that cold water as it
heats up, you don't evenrealize it it'll totally engulf
you and then next thing you knowyou're dead and you have
regrets like that.
That frog probably regrettednot jumping out right.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
so you're on your deathbed and you have regrets.
I wish I had, I wished, I had,I wish, I had, I wished, I had,
I wish I had.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Well, you hear everybody say I got a bucket
list.
How many people actually dotheir bucket list?
Right, go do your bucket list,yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Somebody, a country guy, wrote the song Live Life
Like I'm Dying.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Live like I was dying , that's a very good motto.
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
It's definitely something I bring into my circle
now is stay in the now, I meanthe reality is, we're all dying
humans.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
We're all dying right .
Sometimes you might as welllive now yeah and have a good
time yeah, that's right, justI'm not gonna die for a long
time.
I still have a lot of stuff toget done, so you never get it
done nope, and I don't plan onever getting it done, but I will
get a bunch more done rightanyway.
(34:56):
So you know, going back to therelationship and not having the
regrets is you know?
Because we talked about therelationships, the two weeks of
the spiritual sex, and then wetalked about appreciation and
now we're talking about regretyeah and you're not having
regrets.
And when you have a bond withsomebody else and you take for
granted those things that theydo, you will regret it.
(35:16):
And what was that?
Look for.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
You have a bond with somebody else like super glue.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Well, sometimes, yeah , I'm rubber, you're glue.
Well, sometimes, yeah, I'mrubber, you're glue.
I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
She's loco in the cabeza.
Oh, we know some Spanish.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Living life without regrets is the new challenge.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Yeah, it's the challenge of the week you know,
you know, change some habits.
Yes, make yourself aware, askthe question.
That would be the first thing,because that's, that's basically
what happened.
So I was watching this seriesand the grandfather passes away.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Is that the one you've been watching?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yes, Good grief, it's so drama-filled.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
She's up until like 3.30 in the morning watching it.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I don't normally watch all this trauma, drama,
nonsense, but for some reason Iwas drawn to this series.
It's a seasonal thing, it's gotlike three seasons and I binge
watched it and because I gotsnickered in I know I got
snickered in but you know,everything has reason and what
(36:40):
came out of it was oh my gosh,if this man that I loved weren't
here anymore, would I have anyregrets?
And on the flip side of thatcoin, if I found out that I
wasn't going to be here in youknow days or weeks, do I have
any regrets and do I haveanything that I want to get done
(37:05):
?
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Right yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
And so that would be.
The first step is stop and askyourself that question on both
sides of the coin and see whereit takes you if you're, you know
, in a curious mindset of havingsomething to play with or
whatever, or curious about whatit will bring up for you,
because hopefully someday youget to a point where clearing
(37:32):
beliefs and changing habitsbecomes fun, yeah, and
interesting, kind of likeuntangling a pattern or solving
a mystery.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yes, Anyway, guys, hey, so yes, on October 3rd we
are starting our Power ofThought School.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
I feel like you do too much advertising or a
workshop.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Well, it's about time to wrap up.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
That was quick.
It was quick.
The Power of Thought Workshopat the Holistic House in Holly
Hill.
Yeah, come join us.
Come join us.
You can sign up there at HollyHill.
You can call the Holistic Houseand sign up for it to her over
the phone and pay for it on site.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Are you going to do a thing where signups are
accepted at the door at adifferent price?
It depends.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
We do have a limit.
We can only have 40.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
I see.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
And so we have a limit.
We can only have 40.
I see, and so we have a limit.
So if it fills up, then wewon't be able to let people in,
yeah, and if it fills up and wehave a lot of draw, we'll do
more than one day a week.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Yeah, we can do it again.
We can do it twice a week.
We can do it on Saturday aswell, if we need to, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
But anyway, if you pay for the whole workshop up
front up there, you can do it oneventbrite and save 40 on the
workshop and uh, that's prettynice.
No, eventbrite gets theirlittle piece of it, but it is
what it is and um, yeah, it'llcome with the whole workbook and
everything yeah, workbook got asyllabus.
I got a certificate yeah andmaybe some little surprises at
the end for people like adum-dum yeah, maybe a dum-dum,
(39:13):
or maybe some merch, oh anyway.
Um then, on top of that, we havethe salty tarot is now open.
That's the store.
It's the salty tarot, myshopifycom nice, yeah, we're
waiting.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
So the salty tarot oracle cards, which started all
of this with the store andeverything, they are complete,
they're in printing and I wantto have them in my hot hand
before I put them in the storebecause I want to see how this
company is going to print themand make sure it meets my
standards.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah, they're actually in the store.
They can pre-order them.
I just put it in notes we won'trelease them until we see the
quality.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Right, I want to definitely evaluate the quality,
but it is a custom handmadedeck and it's going to be.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
It's the Black Innards.
What do they call that?
The Black Interior Liner card.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
Black Innards it.
They call that the blackinterior liner card.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Black innards yeah, it's an internal black.
It's got this sheet inside thecard that keeps it from being
see-through.
I can't remember what they callit AWD or something.
They're high-end cards.
But they'll be on our website.
We have some merch on here.
I'll show you on the thing wehave the bouncer of energetic
bullshit.
Baby onesie, tell me that ain'ta cool little onesie.
(40:32):
But anyway, this is what thestore looks like.
Guys, check us out on MyShopify.
We appreciate it.
And then also, you know, if youget out roaming the web one day
, you can check out our website.
It's right here, yeah.
TheMarketCentersorg and you canlearn all about us and you can
see our website it's right here,yeah, the MerckCentersorg and
you can learn all about us andyou can see our services and get
links to our podcast and youcan contact us via the web and
(40:57):
all kind of our Our blogs onthere.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Our blogs on there.
The books are on there, right.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Yeah, the books are on here.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Everything is on here that you want or need.
Uh-oh, everything is on herethat you want or need.
Uh oh, the conversation aboutsex is getting started.
That's our, that's one of ourblogs, and it also tells you our
history.
Anyway, guys, hey, don't forgetto look us up on social media.
We're on Facebook, instagram,tiktok and Twitter that's right
and soon to be on my blog spot.
(41:25):
So we'll be on my blog spot herereal soon.
So we'll be adding the blog andit won't be long.
We will be adding asubscription to the website so
you can subscribe to thenewsletter or, if you subscribe
to the app, you'll get thenewsletter as well.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Very good, anyway, lots of cool stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
We got a lot of stuff going on, guys, and don't mean
to plug so long, but we have alot of things that are we're
working on.
Uh, hey, don't forget to like,follow, share and tell your
friends about us.
Man, hey, you know, I mean putit out there.
You know this.
This is how we support.
This is by people following andsharing us and downloading the
podcast.
Yeah, for sure, and uh, don'tforget to ring that bell.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Love ya We'll see you next time.
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