You Can’t Rewrite Your Story While Gripping the Old One

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We explore how fear hijacks perspective after trauma and how to restore balance using awareness, journaling, and acceptance. We share stories on relationships, money, and everyday choices to show how copy-paste thinking blocks new experiences and how to rewrite the story with logic and care.

• announcing our October 10–12 workshop The Power of Thought at Greenhouse Yoga, Port Orange, Florida
• identifying fear templates and red-flag scanning
• completing the file with journaling and scoring exercises
• balancing trauma by logging lessons and positives
• avoiding copy-paste beliefs across the life pie
• practical questions to test fears with facts
• abundance, investing, and rewriting money scripts
• acceptance as the release valve for repeated loops
• trusting guidance while keeping logic and boundaries

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_04 (00:26):
Good morning, everybody.
Welcome back to the spiritualgrind.

SPEAKER_00 (00:29):
Good morning.

SPEAKER_04 (00:32):
Thank you all for listening.

SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Well, how's your morning going?
Absolutely wonderful.
Got to sit by my lake and enjoyin the nature.

SPEAKER_04 (00:43):
I had some sunshine this morning, finally.

SPEAKER_00 (00:45):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (00:46):
It's been like a week.

SPEAKER_00 (00:47):
I know.
Everything's soggy bottom.

SPEAKER_04 (00:49):
My tan is fading.
Good morning, and uh quick shoutout to uh Greenhouse Yoga.
We're gonna be housing ourworkshop on October 10th, 11th,
and 12th, hosting it for us.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04):
Uh that's uh Greenhouse Yoga that is in Port
Orange at 4606 Clyde MorrisBoulevard.
And uh you can That's inFlorida.
That is in Florida.
That is in Port Orange, Florida.
If you would like to attend theworkshop, then you send me an
email at dr james at theMerccenters.org, or uh you can

(01:25):
send us a text or even call usat 813-285-9951.
It is sixty dollars a head forthe entire three-day workshop.

SPEAKER_00 (01:33):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:34):
So it's gonna be and it's gonna be very enlightening.
It's called the power ofthought.

SPEAKER_00 (01:38):
Yeah, it's a good workshop.

SPEAKER_04 (01:40):
It is.
It's gonna be the I don't evenknow how many times I presented
this workshop.
But it's been a been a few.

SPEAKER_01 (01:47):
For sure.

SPEAKER_04 (01:48):
It's gonna be successful again.
Anyway, so got a good topic fortoday.

SPEAKER_00 (01:55):
Alright.

SPEAKER_04 (01:57):
I've been dying to go down the rabbit hole on some
topic, so Well, I don't know ifwell, knowing you, you'll you'll
find a place to jump off in thathole somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 (02:06):
I've been needing to jump off in the rabbit hole.
I just haven't been given thetopic.

SPEAKER_04 (02:12):
Well, I don't know if this one will do it or not,
but it's a good topic, and Ithink it's very informative for
people.
Okay.
Matter of fact, we were workingon it with you earlier, and I
had this thought in mind priorto you even bringing up the
topic this morning.

SPEAKER_00 (02:25):
It usually does work that way, right?

SPEAKER_04 (02:28):
Yes, it does.
Because, you know, and here isthe topic.
Are you allowing a fear or anunknown or a hesitation to not
allow balance into traumaticevents in your life?

SPEAKER_00 (02:48):
Uh so can you say it differently?
Oh I'm confused.

SPEAKER_04 (02:54):
Well, like say for this is say for example.

SPEAKER_00 (02:56):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (02:57):
Um I don't know why this is coming in mind, but you
have a car accident.

SPEAKER_02 (03:02):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (03:03):
And you now have a continuous fear of being in
another car accident.

SPEAKER_02 (03:08):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (03:08):
No matter if it was your fault, somebody else's
fault, just weird happenstance,whatever that is, do you carry
that fear of the car accidenthappening again and not allowing
it to be okay if it does?
And so, because we have ashumans, we get this idea that
when something happens traumaticto us, we must hang on to it and

(03:31):
completely pendulum to the otherside and be like, okay, I'm not
gonna allow this to happen in mylife again.
This is not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 (03:38):
And so, what are you saying is the outcome of doing
it that way?

SPEAKER_04 (03:43):
Um, it doesn't release the energy.
You're hanging on to thatenergy.

SPEAKER_00 (03:46):
Right, but then what happens in your reality?
How does your reality look?

SPEAKER_04 (03:50):
Well, when you when you hang on to an energy, we all
know what you think about, youbring about, and it will feed
back into your reality if you ifyou continue to hang on to that
traumatic energy.

SPEAKER_00 (04:01):
Okay, well, I was trying to get you go in a
different direction.

SPEAKER_04 (04:04):
Okay, well, but then just say it.

SPEAKER_00 (04:06):
No, I was just saying if you were gonna go
there.
Because what it can also do isprevent you from being able to
rewrite the story.

SPEAKER_04 (04:19):
Yes, that's a good yes, that's where you're trying
to get me to go.

SPEAKER_00 (04:22):
If yeah, if you're hanging on to the story of the
traumatic event, and that's howyou're living your life, you
won't allow yourself to open upto the multiple possibilities of
how the life could look in thattopic.

SPEAKER_04 (04:39):
Yep.

SPEAKER_00 (04:40):
Because you're just closed off and so concentrating
on preventing the trauma fromhappening again that you're even
closed yourself off to the goodside of the coin of how things
could look.

SPEAKER_04 (04:58):
Right.
Like a lot of people have atendency to the only thing they
remember is the bad part.

SPEAKER_00 (05:03):
Right.
And so, like we use your uh caraccident um illustration is just
use my real one.
If well, let me just go in thisdirection right quick, just to
clarify.
If you have the accident at thecorner of uh, I don't know, Bay

(05:24):
and Crown Street.

SPEAKER_04 (05:26):
Yeah.
What what odd names?
How did you randomly come upwith those names?
Bay and Crown.

SPEAKER_00 (05:35):
It's not me.
Yeah, it's a channel, and you'reterrified of going to that
corner, and there's now a fallfestival going on in that
section, and there's an itemthat you've asked for that you

(05:59):
need and want, and spirits putthat together divinely so so
that you can interact with notonly the human that has it, but
having the thing that you'veasked for.
But you are absolutely hell-benton never going to that corner
again because you're carryingthe trauma of the accident with
you and not and trying tocontrol not having an accident

(06:22):
again by eliminating even goingto that neighborhood.
Right, then you will completelymiss out on the divine input of
having the very thing thatyou've asked for.

SPEAKER_04 (06:37):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (06:39):
Because the market's on that corner, then you see how
it would create blocks of youbeing able to see or hear or
follow the breadcrumbs ofsomething that you're asking for
and how it could intertwinerabbit hole kind of thing.

SPEAKER_04 (06:57):
Well, I'd say, you know, I did that exact thing
when I had the traumatic eventswhen I when I was younger, which
the details of how we will willbe released in my book called
Unlocked.
There was a traumatic event thathappened to me when I was
twenty, nineteen.

SPEAKER_01 (07:10):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (07:11):
And I didn't go back to that spot until you and I
went, what, eight or nine yearsago.
I didn't go back to it for overthirty years.

SPEAKER_01 (07:18):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (07:19):
Or for I guess probably twenty-five years.

SPEAKER_01 (07:21):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (07:21):
I refused to go back to that spot, even though it was
a completely random event thathappened.

SPEAKER_01 (07:26):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (07:26):
And I had been to that spot a hundred times.
But the only thing I rememberedwas the bad thing.
Right.
And and I used to have a ton offun there.
I mean, I used to enjoy myselfthere.
And that's what we do withtraumatic events, is we remember
only the negatives.
And like even bad relationships,you'll only remember the
negatives because of how itended.

unknown (07:45):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (07:46):
Instead of the positives of what what went on
and why you were in thisrelationship for so long.
And so we become focused on thenegative happenstances.
And we uh don't allow ourselvesto make it okay.

SPEAKER_00 (08:01):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (08:02):
And because we're because of the fear that it's
gonna happen again.

SPEAKER_00 (08:05):
Right.
And that's part of what I uhtake people through when I work
with them on their journaling.
You know, I love journaling.
Yeah.
Is uh that's one of thetechniques, is whenever you are
experiencing a traumaticexperience that just has a
strong hold on you, I will havethat's part of their homework.

(08:27):
Yeah.
Is go ahead and complete thefile.
Right.
And what I mean by that is goin, revisit the entire traumatic
of it section of your life, notjust the traumatic portion of
it, but the entire, and we'll gowith the relationship, for
example.

SPEAKER_04 (08:46):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (08:46):
I did this on my journey, and it was so very
helpful in relationships.

SPEAKER_04 (08:51):
I know you got me.

SPEAKER_00 (08:52):
Yeah, uh obviously uh because I went on a journey
and relationships, and I don'tmean like friends, I mean like
mate uh relationship or uhfinding my intimate and I don't
empty that's not really even theword either, because it wasn't I

(09:15):
wasn't looking for sexualrelationship necessarily, but my
um what do you call it?
My partnership, my love life.
Yeah, my love liferelationships.
And I noticed that I was thecommon denominator when I
explored this part and almostevery traumatic event you the
person is the almost every isthe common denominator if

(09:38):
they're repeating it.

SPEAKER_04 (09:39):
And this is exactly the topic of this podcast.
Way to go.

SPEAKER_00 (09:43):
Way to bring it right back around.

SPEAKER_04 (09:45):
Yes, it's the exact topic, and because that's what
it is, that's what happens, isyou hang on to the traumatic
event because for some reason,as humans, we class traumatic
events at different levels.
Like, okay, like like I workedwith this, I worked with this
one guy that his he was soscared because his wife ran off

(10:06):
on him, she started doing drugsand blah blah blah blah, it's
other stuff.
And he was so fearful of therunning off and doing drug part,
he was classifying these at aten instead of the initial
traumatic event as it at a ten.

(10:26):
And so he clouded his ownjudgment and ranked his
traumatic events in thissituation higher in one category
than in the other, in the in theother.
And that's what I was told him.
I was like, you've got to lookat the whole traumatic event
differently.
You've got to take theserankings down and make them all
equal.
Wow.
Because every step of it is thesame traumatic event.

SPEAKER_00 (10:48):
Yeah.
So where I was trying to go withmy piece of it was not just
focusing on the trauma part ofthe event.

SPEAKER_03 (10:58):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (10:59):
And I was using racial relationships as an
example because what I will havemy clients do, which is a little
bit different than what you andyour clients do, is I make them
look at the whole relationshipand pinpoint things they did
learn, things that were goodthat came out of it, so that

(11:19):
they come out of it educated andbalanced, not just lopsided and
traumatized.
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (11:25):
No, I totally agree.

SPEAKER_00 (11:26):
You take the whole relationship and you break it
into two columns, and obviouslythe trauma goes in one column
because that's right there inyour face, and you have no
problem identifying it.
So you write it down and you getit out.
But then you go back and yourevisit that, and it sometimes
is not it, it's not able to beaccomplished in a session.

(11:50):
They actually have to take ithome, and it has to be homework.
Yes.
Um, because sometimes it takesthem a month or two, even, to
really get past the trauma thatthey've labeled as a tin to be
able to get to the point ofseeing, okay, what were some of
the parts that can be logged asgood because I learned something

(12:16):
from them.
That's where I had to takemyself personally in having
relationships myself.
Um, I like most people had sometraumatic events, but I but they
were so huge I couldn't see thegood parts.
Right.
The the traumatic events were sobig, right?

(12:40):
And so it took me several monthsof doing scientific exploration.
I went on a relationshipexpedition in my own life.

SPEAKER_04 (12:52):
See, I I when I work with clients, I do it a little
differently.
Um, and you know, and guys, ifyou're listening, then there's
you can use either one of theseprocesses, they're both proven
to work.
But what I what I did, like forthis one example I brought up, I
said if you're gonna levelthese, make these level, and
this event was a 10, this eventwas a one, you have to do the
same thing on the other side.

SPEAKER_00 (13:14):
Are you talking about the negative events that
trauma?

SPEAKER_04 (13:17):
The negative steps because people are so good at
remembering all the negativesteps of what happened to this
event, yeah, that because of howthey're taught.
And so I told him basically, ifyou take this event and you
label this a one and this eventis a two, and this each step of
this entire traumatic event, youhave to go through and take the

(13:38):
good stuff and do the samething.
Right that'll create balance.
You either have to do a this orb, you have to lower everything
to the same level and look atthem logically.

SPEAKER_01 (13:47):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (13:47):
Because this guy, for example, had 20 years of
life prior to this event withthis person.

SPEAKER_00 (13:54):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (13:55):
And you you gotta look at both of them.
So this one traumatic event, weas humans have a tendency to
allow it to trump all the goodstuff.

SPEAKER_00 (14:04):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (14:05):
And that is not balance.

SPEAKER_00 (14:07):
Overshadow the good stuff.
Overshadow.
Do you know why humans do that?

SPEAKER_04 (14:11):
Um, you tell me, Doctor.

SPEAKER_00 (14:14):
Ooh, do let me.
So pain and pleasure.

SPEAKER_04 (14:26):
That's a template.

SPEAKER_00 (14:27):
As humans, we log everything as pain and pleasure.
The trip up point is thatbecause pleasure feels good, we
don't give it as much creditbecause it feels good.
The pain can sometimes feel sobad or be so heavy of an energy,

(14:52):
and it feels so bad.
We hyper-focus on it because wedo not want to feel that shitty
ever again in our lives.
And so we do everything we canby by being hyper-focused or
hyper-vigilant to try andcontrol not having to experience

(15:14):
that pain again, whether it beemotional, mental, or physical.
And so we are constantly on thatfight or flight, stressed out
state about the topic thatcaused the pain.
And red flags sometimes you canget tangled up in.
Life becomes nothing but redflags, and you're living life.

(15:36):
You wake up one day and realizeyou're living life as an
emergency, red flag, red flag,looking for red flags, looking
for the shoe to drop, ratherthan stopping and reminding
yourself to look at the good, toremember the good and see life
from that perspective as well,because it felt good, it didn't

(16:01):
necessarily hang on because thefeel bad feels so much worse.
Yeah.
And that's why we do it.
Yeah, I can totally understand.
So you have to be consciouslyaware of making sure it's kind
of like um being grateful andhaving gratitude.
You gotta stop in the now and goback to when it did feel bad and

(16:25):
remember now after the cleanupcrews come through of that it
feels better, and I've survivedthat, and now life is beautiful
or looks better or feels better,and recognizing that with as
much fervor or as much focus oras much vigilance as you do the

(16:48):
painful trauma, and like yousaid, giving them equal status
in the file folder of life,basically, at least logging the
good part of that as a tin sothat they're balanced.

SPEAKER_04 (17:05):
Correct, which is one of the core teachings that
we do in this workshop comingup, but the understanding of
when you have this negativetraumatic event that you have
labeled and then you go throughlife with a fear of it is so
crucial because when you focuson it because it does rank so

(17:26):
high in your repertoire of badthings, you know, as as we live
in this environment, we have atendency subconsciously to
recreate that environment andenergetically.

SPEAKER_00 (17:38):
What I'm sorry.
I I thought you were talkingabout a dinosaur when he said
repertoire.

SPEAKER_04 (17:48):
Oh okay, T Rex.
You and your short arms.
Anyway, so when we when we allowthose traumatic events and
everything to not release or notmake them okay, because that's
what you and I were discussingthis morning, is when we have
traumatic events in our life andwe hang on to that energy, it

(18:09):
just repeats itself.
Wow because spirit's saying,Hey, you need to do something
with this.

SPEAKER_00 (18:14):
Right.
And it it skews yourperspective.

SPEAKER_04 (18:16):
Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_00 (18:17):
And what we mean by skewing your perfect your
perspective, the perspective isthe viewpoint that you hold at
the time whenever you're lookingat your world around you based
on, you know, patterns,programs, beliefs, your
experiences.
How are you defining the eventsthat are taking place in front

(18:39):
of you?
That's your perspective.

SPEAKER_04 (18:41):
100%.
And when you have the first stepof that traumatic event that
you've labeled comes into yourreality, you start focusing on
it.
Or you'd be like, oh, I'm gonnaavoid it.
And I I see this trait in thisperson, yep, I'm done, I'm out.

SPEAKER_00 (18:54):
That's right.
And that could be the veryperson that's coming to bring
you the key information on yournext step in your journey, but
because you're so restricted orclosed down to the trauma part
of it, you can't even hear thisthe message or see the sign.

SPEAKER_04 (19:12):
That is correct, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 (19:13):
Which was our podcast that we posted on
Tuesday.
You know, seeing the signs ofthe city.
Identifying the signs of yourjourney.
Or maybe that's the one I haveto edit.

SPEAKER_04 (19:22):
Let's post it all.

SPEAKER_00 (19:23):
Anyway, we've talked about signs before.
Yeah, that's one of the reasonswhy you have a hard time hearing
or seeing the signs of where togo because you're so focused in
on red flags.

SPEAKER_04 (19:37):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (19:38):
And you're in such a trauma response loop.

SPEAKER_04 (19:41):
And fear.

SPEAKER_00 (19:42):
Or living in a fear template, that's what that
means.

SPEAKER_04 (19:45):
Yep.

SPEAKER_00 (19:45):
And that's what you can define that as because what
it does is it causes you to lookat the world through eyes of
fear, right?
And that will restrict you fromliving life.

SPEAKER_04 (20:00):
Right.
No, totally.
And you know, like for what Iwould say to any of the
listeners, it like either usingyour way of journaling or my way
of scoring, yeah, you know, uheither way, you have to look at
those equally.

SPEAKER_00 (20:16):
Right, yeah, because otherwise your file folder is
one-sided, your energy isone-sided.
And and like we talked about,you got to give the good the
same level of playing ground asyou do the bad.
That's right.
It ties right in nicely to therelationship uh ones that we've
done as well, where you've saidyou can't convict your current

(20:40):
relationship for the wrongdoingsof the previous relationship.

SPEAKER_04 (20:43):
Right.
Because that's exactly whatyou're doing.

SPEAKER_00 (20:45):
You're taking that dramatic You're convicting this
person of something they haven'teven done.

SPEAKER_04 (20:50):
I don't think we put that on a podcast.
We were talking about thatyesterday morning.

SPEAKER_00 (20:53):
And this is one of the ways that you can entangle
all of that into other sectionsof the life pie, is like in your
relationship.
Right.
If you've had a traumaticrelationship or traumatic events
going on in a relationship, andyou try to start a new one
without being able to educate, Ialways say you come out of a

(21:16):
relationship either educated andbalanced, or you come out of it
traumatized and damaged.
And so you get to choose.

SPEAKER_04 (21:24):
Right.
And by Well, if your beliefs areclear, you get to choose.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (21:29):
Well, yeah, you you have to stop and acknowledge
Yeah, I had a shittyrelationship, or yeah, I had a
traumatic event.
But am I gonna choose to just bethe victim?

SPEAKER_03 (21:41):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (21:42):
Or am I gonna choose to be educated in that?
And one of the ways is either goyour route where it is you you
remember the good, or you findthe good in that interaction, in
that relationship.
What it even if the personwasn't good, right?
What did I learn from it?

(22:03):
And log those as good.

SPEAKER_04 (22:05):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (22:05):
Find the good, find the things that you learned that
were positive, find the positivein it so you can balance that
out.

SPEAKER_04 (22:12):
You know, what I liked about it was is one of the
exercises that I had given outwas if you're gonna rate these
as worse, less worse, moreworse, whatever, give them a
number.
And then go through and do thedo that for the good side.
Right.
And then I want you to take thetotal of each one of these
numbers and the total of thetraumatic numbers, and then the

(22:34):
total of the good numbers, andthe good numbers always outweigh
the bad.
Because we as humans hang on tothat.
And so when you when we get tothat point that you can be smart
enough to identify and createthe the system that you do,
whichever one it is that youuse, you'll you'll find out that
you're creating this event,which it could be a very bad

(22:58):
event.

SPEAKER_00 (22:59):
No doubt.

SPEAKER_04 (23:00):
But if if you weren't supposed to have gone
through it, then you would haveremoved yourself from it in the
first place.
Yeah.
And I know some people have ahard time hearing that.
Well, and that's because you do,if you go through a traumatic
event with a relationship and anaccident or whatever, whatever
that is, if you weren't supposedto be going through it, you
wouldn't be going through it.

SPEAKER_00 (23:20):
That's right.

SPEAKER_04 (23:21):
That's just part of learning.

SPEAKER_00 (23:23):
Right.
But what gets tangled up or whatgets missed, like we're talking
about, is if you stay wrapped upin the fear and the trauma of it
and not really stopping to goback to school, put yourself
back through school and geteducated from a balanced state
of being, which is to identifyeither the good moments in it or

(23:48):
what you learned on a positivenote from it and balance that
situation out.

SPEAKER_04 (23:56):
Yes, totally 100% correct.

SPEAKER_00 (23:58):
Because the situation, yeah, it created
trauma experience because ithurt physically or mentally or
emotionally, but there was areason, like you said, there was
a reason why you went throughit.
And so getting aligned with thatand finding what the other
positive reasons were as to whyyou went through it is gonna

(24:23):
give you that balance uhability.

SPEAKER_04 (24:26):
Yeah, balance ability.
You know, because you've saidthis a hundred times is life is
not happening to you, it'shappening for you.
Yes, and when you can look at itfrom that perspective and be
able to rank your traumaticevents differently, you'll quit
copying and paste it in otherparts of your life because
people do that as well.
Yeah, you know, like uh, I'llgive you one that was not very
long ago.
My first husband did this andthis and this, and then he hit

(24:50):
and it then ended up like this.

SPEAKER_01 (24:52):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (24:52):
And with friends, with people she's not even gonna
date, she sees the first littlepart, that first step of that
traumatic event that she'slabeling as a trend of in
somebody else.
And she's bringing it into allof her relationships, right
clicking on it, she's copyingit, and she's pasting it right
onto this person.

SPEAKER_00 (25:10):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (25:11):
And then the and then fear, fear, fear.
Now you've brought it right intoyour reality because you're not
handling it.

SPEAKER_00 (25:16):
Right.
And you've got bleed throughonto the other relationships in
your bubble.

SPEAKER_04 (25:21):
And so you've and and living in a fear template is
what that is.
That is the prime example ofliving in a fear template on
that subject.

SPEAKER_00 (25:29):
I agree.
And what it will doinadvertently is it will, if you
don't deal with it, it'll startentangling itself into
everything into all sections ofthe live pie, the health, the
well-being, the money, theeverything.
It'll start fears everywhere.
It'll grow that little vine offear and and weave it into all

(25:54):
those different sections.

SPEAKER_04 (25:55):
That is 100% correct.

SPEAKER_00 (25:57):
And that's what you and I do for people is we help
identify for them where that hasgotten entangled and woven into
all the different areas, whichthen creates a reality they view
as this is tough or awful, orI'm ready for change.

SPEAKER_04 (26:18):
Right.
And here's a good here's a goodexample of that.
Is when you are logging atraumatic event in a
relationship, you have nowsubconsciously trained your
mind.
The word relationship is goingto have traumatic events no
matter what that relationshipis.
Relationship with you and yourbusiness, you and your food, you
and your friends, you and yourcar.
And so that word just travelsover here.

(26:40):
Now you're bringing negativeenergy into it, which is why the
power of thought is so strong.

SPEAKER_00 (26:45):
And that can be happening on a subconscious
level, and you're not evenrealize it.

SPEAKER_04 (26:51):
That's 100%.

SPEAKER_00 (26:52):
Because in the human English language, as we all
know, some words have multiplemeanings.

SPEAKER_04 (27:00):
Oh, yeah.
Well, in in every language.

SPEAKER_00 (27:02):
So I only know the English language, I can only
speak to that.

SPEAKER_04 (27:06):
Well, I can give a prime example.
You know, there's Greek andHebrew translations I did when I
was studying the Bibles.
Yeah.
You know, there are certainHebrew words, like, for example,
like the word, we do it all thetime.
It's on how you say it.
Like I've used this one a lot,dude.
You say, hey, dude, or dude.
It's the same word, but it's thepresentation that changes it.

(27:28):
Every language that I have everstudied or learned has that
exact thing.
It's about the presentation.

SPEAKER_00 (27:36):
Yeah, that's another good asset uh aspect of it.

SPEAKER_04 (27:40):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (27:40):
Uh, but going back to the word relationship, you
have relationships, like yousaid, not only intimate ones
with your partner, but you havefriends, money, you have money,
you've got food, work, work.
I mean, that word can mean a lotof different things.

(28:02):
And if you've automatically gota belief that there's uh
relationships can't be trusted,right, but you've not stopped
and given it precision of words,as I always say, and you just
clump it all together because ofa traumatic, intimate

(28:23):
relationship that happened,right, and you're going through
a fear template of life lookingfor red flags, it will
inadvertently bleed over andcopy and paste, like you said,
into other relationships in yourlife.

SPEAKER_04 (28:40):
You know, like uh this is the one that I had with
one of the previous guys atwhere we used to work.
You know, his wife passed away.
And he was so caught up in thefact that his wife passed away,
he created a fear and wouldliterally copy and paste it into

(29:01):
everything that he was trying todo in his life because he viewed
his marriage of ending abruptly,and it created a failure mindset
based on the fear of recreatingand so and he carried that over
into oh, I'm not getting thesurgery because it's what
happens if it fails?
Or I'm not gonna do this with myhis grandson was approaching to

(29:22):
him approaching him about uhhelping him invest into a
business.
I'm not gonna do it because itwell, what if it fails?

SPEAKER_00 (29:28):
Right.
So he morphed that all took thata whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 (29:32):
Yes, and humans do it.
We all do it.
It's just we're there's some ofus are better at catching it
when we do it.

SPEAKER_00 (29:40):
Yeah, and that's what this whole work is about.
Is and that's why I always willnine times out of ten, when you
ask me, okay, what are the stepswhen we're talking about a
certain subject?
Is the most important, I think,and number one step in most of
this work.
Is becoming aware of it of whatis my perspective?

(30:05):
How am I viewing this?
Because the one once you bringit into your conscious
awareness, then we havesomething to work with.

SPEAKER_04 (30:13):
Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_00 (30:14):
If it's still sitting back in your
subconscious and you're notaware of it and you don't even
know what's happening and you'rejust on autopilot, then you'll
continue to stay on autopilotand just muddle through life.

SPEAKER_04 (30:26):
Correct.

SPEAKER_00 (30:26):
So you could change our name tags to awareness
counselors.

SPEAKER_04 (30:30):
Yeah, that's actually awareness coaches.

SPEAKER_00 (30:33):
Because that's what we do whenever clients book book
their sessions with us.
Yep.
We listen to them talk and wehave conversation with them,
kind of like we're doing now.
Just uh gentle conversations.
And when we hear patterns or wehear programming or our beliefs,

(30:53):
uh that's what we do.
We stop right then and we bringit to their awareness.

SPEAKER_04 (31:00):
Right.
So, like going back to thatexample, this perfect thing that
I just talked about, hisgrandson had approached him
about helping him start abusiness.

SPEAKER_01 (31:07):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (31:08):
And he was like, Yeah, I'm not gonna do it
because it's gonna fail.
And I'm like, Have you investedin a business before and failed?
And he's like, No.
I'm like, then why would youhave that energy?

SPEAKER_02 (31:19):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (31:19):
And so that's where him and I worked through it.
He was like, Oh, I see what I'mdoing.
And like I told him, if you everhave something pop up like that,
a doubt, a fear, uh hesitation,a lack of patience, any any of
that kind of stuff that pops up,stop and say to yourself, Have I
done this before?

SPEAKER_00 (31:38):
Right.
Is this a viable fear?
Is this a viable thing to becautious about or to be logging
this this way?

SPEAKER_04 (31:47):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (31:47):
You're exactly right.

SPEAKER_04 (31:49):
Because the number one thing that I tell everybody
in abundance, when we when Italk to anybody about abundance,
and I get it gets brought up alot.

SPEAKER_00 (31:55):
You mean money abundance?

SPEAKER_04 (31:56):
Money abundance and financial.
They carry this fear that theyhave been taught that if I do
this, then I'm gonna fail.
Or if I don't do it this waythat I'm taught, I'm gonna fail.
And one of my strong points isfinancial in my energetic field.

SPEAKER_01 (32:12):
Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_04 (32:13):
I'm very good at creating abundance.

SPEAKER_01 (32:15):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (32:15):
And when the number one thing that held me back for
so many years was the fact thatI was trying to follow this
societal top beliefs.
It does not work.
It does not work, it does notwork.
And and I don't know if y'allheard me or not, but it does not
work.
You know, uh like hey, I want toask you a question.

SPEAKER_00 (32:37):
Does it work?

SPEAKER_04 (32:38):
No, it does not work.
I promise you.
I I remember when I had no moneyin the bank and had bills to
pay.
I remember those days quitevividly.

SPEAKER_03 (32:47):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (32:47):
And so when something comes up, be it, you
know, like for example, thisgentleman that came up, and I'm
like, well, have you?
I mean, how much money have youlost in business before?
Oh, I don't.
My financial advisor alwaystells me, well, there's your
sign.
How much have you has yourwealth really grown?
If you want to grow wealth, quitholding yourself back, quit

(33:08):
doing it in life, period.
If you want to grow abundantlyin money, in finance, in
relationships, quit copying andpasting.

SPEAKER_00 (33:16):
Yeah, yeah.
Quit standing behind yourself,holding on to your shirt.

SPEAKER_04 (33:20):
Yeah, that's what you know.
That's that's a that would be agood idea.
That's a t-shirt.
That is a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_00 (33:26):
That's a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_04 (33:28):
That's a t-shirt for the store there with a I can see
that that's a absolutely becauseyou know it we do it in
relationships, we do it ineverything as humans.
Yeah.
We we classify these events asnegative or the societal top
beliefs, we give them moreweight when we have never
experienced them.

SPEAKER_00 (33:46):
Yeah, and the unfortunate thing is that a lot
of times, I would say more than50% of the time, the person
doesn't even realize they'redoing it.
No, they don't.
It's an unconscious practice.

SPEAKER_04 (33:58):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (33:58):
And so bringing it to the awareness, because I'm
telling you, the minute youbring it to your awareness and
you start catching yourselfdoing it, yeah, that is
absolutely a big component ofthe healing process of any
trauma is bringing it to theawareness because now you
understand and you see, oh, youknow what?

(34:19):
And we have we'll get peoplethat say, Oh my gosh, ever since
you brought that to myawareness, I see it.
I see it in this, I see it inthis, I see it in this.
Yep.
That happens every time almost.
It does.
It I would say you're right.
100% of the time they begin tosee it more and more and more
clearly.

SPEAKER_03 (34:37):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (34:38):
And so awareness is a huge part of the work that we
do and a huge part of homeworkthat we send home with people.
Catch yourself doing it, bringit to your awareness.
Right.
That's definitely always for megonna be step number one.

SPEAKER_04 (34:54):
And so what I did with him, and this would be a
good, a good thing for them.
I think step number one isversatile the awareness, like
you said.
You know, step number two iseither A, we're journaling, like
you said, or B, creating thatlevel of awareness by labeling
everything that you can go backand think of.

SPEAKER_01 (35:08):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (35:08):
Give it a number.

SPEAKER_01 (35:09):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (35:10):
How important is this to me?
How important is it?
Not how not important is it?
Give it a number and then totalthem up, and you're gonna find
out that traumatic events don'tweigh anywhere near the good
events.

SPEAKER_00 (35:19):
Yeah.
And I think the next thing wouldbe when you're having that
experience, you brought up avery, very cool technique.
Ask stop and ask yourself thequestion.
Yeah, have I done this before?
Yeah, have I like with themoney?
Yeah, have I ever lost moneyinvesting in something before?

(35:40):
Or is it just a total monkeymind lie that I'm telling
myself?

SPEAKER_04 (35:43):
Have you identified what you've lost?
No.
Do you believe that thingshappen for a reason?
They always say yes.

SPEAKER_01 (35:49):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (35:50):
They believe everybody believes that things
things happen for a living.
I have never met anybody thatdon't believe that.
They have all happen for areason.

SPEAKER_00 (35:56):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (35:56):
But then so why are you holding yourself back?

SPEAKER_00 (36:00):
Why have you created this whole storyline that you're
afraid of failure or you'reafraid it's gonna go this
direction when you've not evenexperienced that?

SPEAKER_04 (36:11):
And I'm not saying go out there and and th just
willy-nilly live life.
That's not what we're saying.

SPEAKER_00 (36:16):
Fuck that, I am.

SPEAKER_02 (36:17):
I'm seeing that.

SPEAKER_04 (36:19):
But what I am saying is this is you know, I have seen
so many people lose out on goodpeople for relationships.

SPEAKER_01 (36:25):
Or things.

SPEAKER_04 (36:26):
Or things, or they won't go buy a truck because
they're, you know, our son.
We worked through this scenariowith him.

SPEAKER_03 (36:32):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (36:32):
When he wanted a new pickup.

SPEAKER_03 (36:33):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (36:34):
Or you know, it was I'm sorry.
Yeah, it was a new pickup too.

SPEAKER_03 (36:37):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (36:37):
We worked with him twice on it about this and
buying a new truck and buying anew apartment.

SPEAKER_03 (36:41):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (36:41):
And we try to teach him money in, money out.

SPEAKER_03 (36:44):
That's right.

SPEAKER_04 (36:44):
It's all it all equalizes out.
Yeah.
You know, like you've got Trumpthat's worth eight billion
dollars, but you know, nobodytells you that he spent four
hundred million dollars a ayear.
You know, that's his cost.
People, that's how people live.
You don't change the energy.
Yeah, you you grow in abundance.

SPEAKER_01 (37:02):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (37:02):
So your levels go up.
You do it in relationships, youdo it in finance, you do it in
health.

SPEAKER_01 (37:06):
That's right.

SPEAKER_04 (37:06):
You do it in everything.
And so going through thesesteps, if you can marry them
together, do it in sex.
Happens in sex a lot.

SPEAKER_03 (37:14):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (37:14):
You know, when and like I told him, so if you
believe things happen for areason, then this is put in your
lap for some reason.

SPEAKER_01 (37:22):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (37:22):
Now what you do with that is up to you.

SPEAKER_01 (37:25):
Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 (37:26):
But you have to get the traumatic events out of the
way and the fears and whatyou've been taught unless you've
experienced it, and some ifyou're getting a negative
thought about something unlessyou've lived it and experienced
it, then you have no ground toin your life to hang on to it.

SPEAKER_00 (37:41):
Well, and the other side of that is is that if you
are so closed off toexperiencing any aspect of it or
that situation that uh getsclose to that wound, that
traumatic wound, if you're soclosed off, you won't even allow

(38:02):
the healing.

SPEAKER_04 (38:03):
No, you won't.
And you won't allow theopportunity of anything.

SPEAKER_00 (38:06):
I uh have uh I had a client that she had a traumatic
relationship, as most people do,and I mean still to this day,
she is like it's a battle.

SPEAKER_03 (38:22):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (38:23):
She absolutely is still staunch on certain things
around relationships, and it'sbleeding over into uh the other
parts of her life.
Right.
And she she just is like, nope,I'm not doing that.
I'm I can't, I'm not doing it,not not not happening.

SPEAKER_04 (38:45):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (38:46):
Of course, you know, the salty ass tarot in me is
like, well, I don't know whyyou're wasting your money then.
I mean, give me my$65, come siton my comfortable couch and
we're gonna repeat history everyweek.
We'll sit here and we'll repeathistory every week.
You're you're not gonna allowyourself to heal this traumatic
event, so it's your decision.

(39:06):
If you want to keep wallowing inthe pig sty of bullshit, then be
my guest.
You know, even down to just whatyou would consider minor things.
Yeah.
Um, like the other day we weretalking about going on a cruise,
and we were oh yeah,conversating with an individual,

(39:28):
and they had had a negativeexperience on being on a boat
that they were just very staunchand nope, I'm not going on a
cruise.
It made me sick ever again.
Instead of coming to that placeof wanting to level up and do
some work around it and comefull circle and relax about it a

(39:55):
little bit and learn that youcan let go of that traumatic
experience because look at lookat the beautiful stuff you're
missing out on.

SPEAKER_03 (40:05):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (40:06):
The cruise ships have advanced in their
technology.
Yeah, I even brought that up.
You're not even willing to goand try the little cruise just
to test it or do any homeworkaround it.
You're just staunch in nope, Ihad a bad experience.
This is gonna happen to me overand over and over and over.
What a closed-off way to livelife.

(40:28):
What a closed-off way to look atthings.

SPEAKER_04 (40:30):
It's fear.

SPEAKER_00 (40:30):
It's of course it's fear, but you're what I what I'm
getting at is you're you'remissing out on so many beautiful
experiences that you can behaving.
And that's in just such tinylittle part of the life pie is
using that example of going on acruise because you had this

(40:51):
experience, and now you'veclumped it all together of every
experience I go on, which has todo with going in a boat in the
ocean, I'm gonna have the sameoutcome, and so I'm never doing
it ever, ever again.
And it just is it's just aclosed-off way to experience

(41:14):
life in general.

SPEAKER_04 (41:15):
Right.
And you know, in that scenario,I was I don't think people
realize they copy and pastetheir world.
And when you're how many otherthings are you creating that
fear of exploring new things in?

SPEAKER_00 (41:28):
Yeah, how many other things are you copying pasting
in?

SPEAKER_04 (41:31):
Yeah, you and because it's just out of habit.
Oh, yeah, they will.

SPEAKER_00 (41:34):
And it's an unconscious habit.

SPEAKER_04 (41:36):
I went on this adventure and I failed and it
created a fear, and so now I'mgonna and now I'm not gonna do
this adventure because what if?

SPEAKER_00 (41:43):
And then they look at their reality and it's not
quite what they want it to be,and they don't understand why.

SPEAKER_04 (41:48):
That's right.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (41:49):
Well, gosh, you gotta you you gotta start
looking at stuff, right?
And you've gotta start lookingat how it can enter tangle in
other sections of your life andbleed over into other sections
of your life if you leave itunaddressed or unattended.
Right.
It can physically start havingmaking you know symptoms.

(42:12):
Oh, totally.
It can mentally wear you down,it can take the sweetness out of
life, it can change yourperspective of being able to
have appreciation andacknowledge the beauty of the
world around you.
It can just totally skew all ofthose different areas and it
will present a whole differentreality.

(42:35):
That's why the power of thoughtschool is so so important.

SPEAKER_04 (42:39):
Totally.

SPEAKER_00 (42:39):
Um, because we teach you step by step on what we
mean, and we dive into thedepths of all of this and show
you.
It is a process, it is a way wecan get entangled and how it can
skew other aspects of the lifepie just by having this one
little baby thought and being sorestricted and so staunch on

(43:05):
nope, I'm not moving my cheeseon this one, not happening.

SPEAKER_04 (43:09):
Yeah, and how something else can be
entertained.
Do you think in this example ofthe boat thing, you know, the
very next sentence was is Inever eat.
And you know, uh a lot of peopledon't realize that that's
marrying from one thing to theother.
Right because you'reentertaining nauseous on the
ship.

SPEAKER_01 (43:25):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (43:25):
And now you don't eat properly.

SPEAKER_01 (43:27):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (43:27):
Because it's a belief system of I don't want to
have anything in there just incase and I'm gonna throw up.

SPEAKER_00 (43:32):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (43:32):
And so that's the you know, that's it's all
entangled.
It's all intertangled.
People don't realize how thatintertangles into their life
when they do that.

SPEAKER_00 (43:38):
Yeah, and it can.
It can all get tangled up andtwisted up and connect itself to
other things and intertangle allkinds of stuff if you're not
careful and paying attention.

SPEAKER_04 (43:50):
You know, I'm and I'm gonna push this out there,
which I don't normally do.
Dun dun dun.
I I would challenge any listenerthat if you have anything that
comes up that says, Well, whatif?
Or again it creates that littlebit of hesitation in anything in
your life.
Look at it.
In anything, look at it, andwrite it down.
I don't I'm not normally ajournaling pusher, but if you'll
write it down and then look atsomething completely opposite of

(44:13):
the spectrum.
Say we're talking aboutrelationships, you're having an
uh you've had a traumaticexperience in a relationship,
and you you wrote that down.
And now I want you to take theopposite end of the spectrum and
go to your relationship with umfood and see where they that
their similarities.

(44:33):
Write those write the the thingsdown in your traumatic event,
yeah, and then write it downwith your relationship with
food, and you're gonna see thesimilarities.

SPEAKER_00 (44:42):
Yeah, so in my process, when I have people
journal, we do that.
See uh where this might beaffecting the other, I call it
the life pie.

SPEAKER_03 (44:54):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (44:54):
You know, you've got relationship with uh money, and
you you've got work and career,and uh, I mean, just all those
different sections of the lifepie.
First of all, we identify whatthe life pie is, right?
But then we have this one thingthat creates such a staunch
viewpoint.
That's part of their homework,is what you just said exactly.

(45:18):
Go and ask yourself a question.
Where else in my life pie may Ibe dragging this into that and
inadvertently entangling it in?
Then the third thing I have themdo.

SPEAKER_04 (45:34):
You just lost it.

SPEAKER_00 (45:36):
I lost the channel.

SPEAKER_04 (45:37):
Uh-huh.
Well, I guess that was all Ineed to hear on this podcast,
maybe.
Maybe it's a continuation.

SPEAKER_00 (45:42):
We'll see if it comes back up.

SPEAKER_04 (45:44):
Well, the the I think the part of it that
everybody needs to hear is hey,we're we're let's kind of repeat
the steps.
One is awareness.

SPEAKER_03 (45:53):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (45:54):
Two is find the balance, create the the list of
the good and the bad in everytopic, if it's a relationship or
if it's you know, and make itindividualized.
And so if you had a badrelationship with Bobby Joe,
then write down Bobby Joerelationship, the negatives and
the positives.
And then if you if you do likethe like the client I had, i if

(46:18):
this traumatic part of thisevent was much more than this,
then go ahead and write out anumber beside them and score
them from one to ten, and thenadd those numbers up.

SPEAKER_00 (46:26):
And do you think it would be beneficial to do a
subtitle of am I letting thatrelationship or that experience
from Bobby Joe bleed over intoany of my other relationships
that question?

SPEAKER_04 (46:40):
Yeah, totally.
I think we're that is correct.
Um, because I think the nextstep of that is first of all,
you have to allow yourself toaccept and balance that
traumatic events out.

SPEAKER_00 (46:51):
Right.
And give ownership whereownership is due and and take
blame away from where it's notnet uh how would you say that?

SPEAKER_04 (47:02):
Because well, I just want to say that's not
deserving, and a lot of peopledon't like this, but uh I will
say this that it's 50% yourfault too.

SPEAKER_00 (47:10):
Right.
But what I'm saying in more ofthe way of like the example you
talked about earlier is in arelationship situation, for
example, if this person didsomething to you, are you
blaming the new person when thenew person didn't even hasn't
even done that thing?
Well, I think that's in stepthree like you said with his

(47:33):
investing, yeah, he won't evenallow himself to entertain the
uh the possibility because he'safraid he's gonna lose out
anyway, it's not gonna work out.
And you had him ask thequestion, okay, well, have you
ever invested anything and itfailed?
He's like, No.

SPEAKER_04 (47:52):
Never invested anything, he never invested at
all.

SPEAKER_00 (47:55):
Right, the illogical thing in what you're doing.

SPEAKER_04 (47:59):
Right.
And you know, what's reallyfunny is right before we left
over there, he came to me and Isaid, Hey, how's your son's
business, your grandson'sbusiness doing?
And he's like, Oh, it'sphenomenal.
He already he paid me back inthree months and and he's doing
a great job.
And he's I'm like, See?
Right.
And he was like, Yeah, I know, Iknow.
He said, and so now I'm lookingat other things that I've been

(48:19):
taught this.
He was he's because he had allhis money in his retirement
fund, whatever was controlled bysomebody, and now he started
playing in the stock marketbecause he was taught all his
life that it was dangerous toplay in.

SPEAKER_01 (48:30):
Oh, right.

SPEAKER_04 (48:30):
And so now he's opened his windows and and
playing in the stock market.

SPEAKER_00 (48:34):
Kind of venture now.

SPEAKER_04 (48:36):
And and then he started talking to a woman at
the place where he volunteer.
Right.
And so it's carrying over, it'skind of funny, you know.

SPEAKER_00 (48:45):
Allowing yourself to live.

SPEAKER_04 (48:46):
Yeah, and uh and crazy, he was in his mid-90s.

SPEAKER_00 (48:50):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (48:50):
And he was talking to some little some woman that
volunteers there too.

SPEAKER_00 (48:55):
Yeah.
But uh it's you know, are youcopying pasting life or are you
allowing yourself to live?

SPEAKER_04 (49:01):
Right, because that's uh that's what we do as
humans, and until you canidentify that and allow the
balance because that's the laststep of this process.
Your awareness, your yourjournaling, your scoring, you're
looking at the processes bywhich you're marrying it into
the other slice of pie of life.
Yeah, whatever that is.
And now the last thing is youhave to allow it to balance, you

(49:22):
have to make it okay.

SPEAKER_03 (49:24):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (49:25):
You know what?
It may happen again in yourlife.
News for you, no matter whatbelief you have, what fear you
have, whatever it is, it mayhappen again.
And it's time to accept that.

SPEAKER_00 (49:37):
Yeah, and be okay with it.

SPEAKER_04 (49:39):
And be okay with it if it does.

SPEAKER_01 (49:41):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (49:42):
Because when you what you'll find out is when you
make it okay, it normallydoesn't.
But it could.

SPEAKER_01 (49:48):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (49:49):
It could.
And so that accepting thatreleases that energy of like,
okay, if this happens, it'sgonna happen.
It is what it is.
You know, you hear me say thatall the time.
It is what it is.

SPEAKER_00 (49:58):
Yeah, because if we're supposed to experience it,
we will.
We will.

SPEAKER_04 (50:04):
And if there's something in it that you missed
that you were supposed to learn,your higher self's gonna bring
it into your reality again.
And so what's the use of havingfear?
Because fear is a uselessemotion.
It's not even a natural emotion,it's taught.

SPEAKER_01 (50:17):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (50:17):
You know, you can have hesitation, you know, and I
had had somebody try to arguewith me about that fact one time
that fear is not natural.
Because he said, What about thecavemen?
Why didn't they just jump offthe cliffs?
Or why didn't you know, why didthey if they didn't have a fear?
And I'm like, well, first ofall, you're talking way over
your head.

(50:38):
You're you know, dimensionallythere were cavemen were just a
dimension.
But the second part about it isno, they didn't have fear.
You know what it was?
It was logic.

SPEAKER_00 (50:50):
Yeah.
Strategy and logic.

SPEAKER_04 (50:52):
Right.
They didn't attach an emotion toit.

SPEAKER_00 (50:54):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (50:55):
They just said, Oh, okay.
So if I don't jump off thiscliff, I'm logically minded
enough to say that's gonna hurt.

SPEAKER_00 (51:04):
Not gonna end well.

SPEAKER_04 (51:05):
No, not gonna end well.

SPEAKER_00 (51:07):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (51:08):
But they didn't not do it because they were scared
to do it.

SPEAKER_00 (51:11):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (51:11):
Cavemen weren't scared of anything.
I mean, heck, they foughtdinosaurs for God's sakes.
You know, so maybe, you know.
You know, but if you go off thehistorical books, but but making
it okay.

SPEAKER_00 (51:24):
Like they But they well, I mean, what about that
show where there's theseranchers that are finding
dinosaur bones on their propertynow?

SPEAKER_04 (51:33):
Yeah, in the States I went in a different direction.
That was in Idaho.

SPEAKER_00 (51:36):
Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_04 (51:38):
Wow, huh?

SPEAKER_00 (51:39):
We we came across that little series, and I was
like, oh my god, who would havethought it?

SPEAKER_04 (51:45):
Yeah, I know, right?
And then they found a couplestacked on top of each other.
But anyway, so the to finish outthe podcast since we're getting
there, the you know, the lastthing keeper.
Well, I have to.
The part of it that nobody doesis they don't allow it to be
okay in their life.

SPEAKER_01 (52:02):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (52:03):
You want success, remove the crap in any topic.

SPEAKER_00 (52:10):
Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 (52:11):
You have to make it okay.
Yeah, listen.
I'm gonna I'm gonna alright, I'mgonna give this gal a chance.
I'm gonna I'm gonna date thisgal.

SPEAKER_02 (52:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (52:20):
That's what I did with you.
I'm gonna give this gal achance.
You're just playing.

SPEAKER_00 (52:26):
But when you let me take this old crazy gal, this
gypsy, homeless rag muffin of agal.
Um let me give her a chance.
Let me see if I can drag heraround for a while and see what
happens.

SPEAKER_04 (52:41):
When we first started dating, I remember that
jar was on my bar.
I always had a jar that hadthousands of dollars of cash in
it.
Thousands.
And she walked in one day, she'slike, I got one question.
Are you like a drug dealer orwhat?

SPEAKER_00 (52:53):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (52:54):
And I'm like, What why do you ask that question?
And she's like, Because I'venever known anybody that just
puts thousands or you know,thousands and thousands of
dollars of cash in a jar,sitting openly in a glass jar
that you can see into.

SPEAKER_01 (53:05):
Right.
I'm like, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 (53:07):
It's just there in case I need it.
So it was so funny.
Yeah, but because I had balancedout that part of my life.

SPEAKER_01 (53:14):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (53:15):
And I was working on the relationship thing, and then
you came in and and it balancedquite well.

SPEAKER_01 (53:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (53:19):
But I I really did, you know, say that to myself.
I wasn't, you know, and youlaugh.
I did say, Yeah, I'm gonna givethis cow the chance.
That's when I got out of thetruck, came over, and kissed you
in the car.

SPEAKER_00 (53:27):
Right.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (53:29):
That's exactly what I did.

SPEAKER_00 (53:30):
Because after you and I said our goodbye
greetings, uh, and you didn'tkiss me.
The salutations.
Yeah, salutations.
I was like, oh, this guy'sweird.
I don't, I don't know if this isgonna go anywhere.
First of all, he took me.

(53:51):
So my criteria, we'd beentalking on the phone for a
minute, and we finally, I say aminute, you know, maybe two or
three days for what a couple ofweeks.

SPEAKER_04 (54:01):
No, it was like two days.
We talked once for like 15minutes because you had to go
away.

SPEAKER_00 (54:05):
A couple of days or whatever.
And you'd said, well, you wannameet up somewhere.

SPEAKER_04 (54:12):
Yeah, you want to go have dinner or something.

SPEAKER_00 (54:14):
I said, sure.
But here's the criteria.
Listen, uh, because I had longhair and I only wash it like
once a week.
I do not want to go anywhere insome dumb dive bar that's smoky
where I'll have to wash myfreaking hair.
Because at the time, listen, youguys, I was living out of my

(54:35):
car, and it wasn't easy to goand wash my hair every damn day
like society says you have to.

SPEAKER_03 (54:43):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (54:44):
Like I was having to get, you know, go to a friend's
house and wash my hair, or likeI just needed life to be simple,
simple life.

SPEAKER_04 (54:52):
And you it was a choice, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 (54:54):
It was.
I went homeless to have uh afreedom experience and to untie,
kind of go semi-off grid fromeverything after the kids went
off to college and everything.
So it definitely was a choice.
Anyway, long story short, I gavehim all these criteria and these
rules.
I don't want to go into somejunky ass dive bar where it's

(55:16):
all filled with smoke, and Ileave with my long hair.
I helped her clear some things,smoky and shit.
I don't want to do all thatcrap.

SPEAKER_04 (55:26):
And where do I take you?

SPEAKER_00 (55:27):
And where the fleep does he take me?

SPEAKER_04 (55:30):
To a biker bar.

SPEAKER_00 (55:31):
I pull up to this damn place, and I literally, you
guys, almost didn't even get outof the damn car.
Because I was at a point in mylife where I was okay if I had a
relationship, but I was okay ifI didn't.

SPEAKER_04 (55:47):
That's balance.
That's exactly what we'repreaching today.

SPEAKER_00 (55:49):
That's right.
That's right.

SPEAKER_04 (55:50):
I was the same exact way.

SPEAKER_00 (55:51):
Before in my life, I had never gotten to a place
where I was okay not being in arelationship.

SPEAKER_03 (55:59):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (56:00):
And I had finally done the work, got off my ass,
did the homework, found thecommon denominators, looked at
things, do the very steps that Iam sharing here on the podcast
today.
And I know this is going long,but I think it's pertinent.
And I was fine not having you inmy life or having you in my

(56:21):
life.
Yep.
So therefore, I confidentlysaid, Yep, we can meet up, but
here's my boundaries.
And him being the challengerthat he is, which we still do
this to the to this day.
We play around and banter witheach other.
He says, Okay, meet me.

SPEAKER_04 (56:42):
I'll send you a ping.

SPEAKER_00 (56:43):
Meet me here.
Let me give you the ping.
I pull up in this parking lot,and it is a dive backward.

SPEAKER_03 (56:50):
I am a biker, man.

SPEAKER_00 (56:52):
It is a damn dive.
You get out thinking you'regonna get shanked for God's
sakes.
I'm like single biker.
Sketchy ass back alley bar.
I don't even know if I'm I I I'malmost afraid to even get out of
the damn car much less walk inthis place by myself and meet

(57:13):
this complete stranger.

SPEAKER_04 (57:16):
I was sitting at the bar already because everybody
knew me there.

SPEAKER_00 (57:19):
But what it did was I had to clear societal
programming and basically stopjudging the book by its cover
and know that I sat in the carfor a minute and I really had to
check in with my council membersand my higher self and my
guidance.
Um, because societally you'retaught, oh, female, don't go

(57:42):
into this eerie looking, junkyass place.
So I did.
I you're right.
You set me in emotion to clearsome shit.

SPEAKER_04 (57:51):
Yep, I gave you a spoonful of here you go.

unknown (57:54):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (57:55):
So I finally was like, okay, you know what?
We're doing this.
I trust my guidance.
I know that if I were in danger,I know my counsel will guide me
away from that.
I wouldn't be sitting here if Iwere supposed to, you know, not,
or if if I was gonna die today,bullshit.

(58:16):
And if I'm supposed to die todayand this is where I'm supposed
to do it, then it was divinelyguided, and I trust that.
And and I and I do to this day,trust my guidance
wholeheartedly.
So I got out of the damn car andI went in.

SPEAKER_04 (58:31):
First thing she said to me when she sat down is I
told you not to bring me to asmoky dive bar.
I said, Okay.
There's the door, basically,bitch.
I was like, This is me.
You like me or you don't?

SPEAKER_00 (58:43):
Like at this salty ass.
I see.
Okay, let's play.

SPEAKER_04 (58:49):
And we did.

SPEAKER_00 (58:50):
Let's play, let's dance.

SPEAKER_04 (58:51):
We did not spend a night apart since.

SPEAKER_00 (58:53):
We have not.

SPEAKER_04 (58:54):
It's been uh fun.

SPEAKER_00 (58:56):
We have not.

SPEAKER_04 (58:56):
It's been a good ride.
I cannot uh complain at all.

SPEAKER_00 (58:59):
Yeah, it has.

SPEAKER_04 (59:00):
But what it does is it is that right there is a
prime example of how your guideswork.

unknown (59:05):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (59:05):
Just because you have a fear.

SPEAKER_02 (59:06):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (59:07):
And if you're aware enough to stop and say, you know
what?
I trust my instinct.
I trust trust that spiritallowed me to first of all bring
this into my reality.

SPEAKER_01 (59:18):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (59:19):
And second of all, is I trust my higher self and my
guidance to get myself out ofthe situation that I put myself
into.

SPEAKER_00 (59:27):
Or be okay in the situation.

SPEAKER_04 (59:29):
Or be okay within it.
Because I generally speak, youmake the stories bigger than
they really are.

SPEAKER_00 (59:34):
Here I am, afraid to get out because I'm afraid I'm
gonna be physically injured orend of life.
Yep.
And I just finally I was like,you know what?
I trust my guidance.
So if this is where I've come todie, then so be it.
So it's okay to stay, it's okayto go.

SPEAKER_04 (59:50):
It is.
And that's balance, and that'swhere I think we end this at is
you have to allow balance ineverything that you have.

SPEAKER_01 (59:56):
That's right.

SPEAKER_04 (59:56):
And if you go through the steps that we just
give you and identify Thosefears, you'll find out what's
holding you back.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:02):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:03):
Because that is what's holding you back in life.
100%.
Absolutely.
It's the only thing that holdsyou back because your higher
self and just your mission herein this life is to have
experiences.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:14):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:15):
And when you are fearful, fearful of engaging in
any new experience, if it'sbrought into your reality, it is
there for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:22):
That's right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:23):
And when you don't look at it and or don't give it
the opportunity out of out ofsocietal thought or beliefs or
even experience.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:31):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:32):
If you don't give it the opportunity, then you cannot
rewrite the history.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:35):
That's right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:35):
And that does not create balance.

SPEAKER_00 (01:00:37):
Or have an experience.
Yep.
Or even have a new experience sothat you can balance out the
energy of the previousexperience.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:44):
I like one thing.
There the Dr.
Phil, he always says this, and Ilike the way he says it.
Um and he always says the bestpred predictor of future
behavior is past behavior.
Because he they just don't saythis part.
This is because you carrybeliefs.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:00):
That's right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:01):
And you're and it's you you know, he uses it a way
to stereotype people.
Yeah.
But the saying itself needs onemore phrase.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:09):
It does.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:10):
Because you bring beliefs with you.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:11):
You copy and paste your beliefs right into the next
moment.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:15):
Yep.
And so when you can look at itin that way and don't turn your
head on opportunities in life,be it food, relationships,
money, friendships, business,whatever it is, don't you don't
side-eye it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:29):
So you know what we are.
What we're the controlalt-delete of your copy and
paste programming.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:36):
There you go.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:37):
Hey, I like the way you like that computer linked
out.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:40):
That's very good.

unknown (01:01:41):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:42):
Anyway, hey, um, y'all don't forget to like,
follow, and share.
Leave us a comment if you likethe podcast.
Leave us a comment on there andshare it on your Facebook page
or whatever you want to do.
Absolutely.
We appreciate everybody'sattention to our podcast.
Don't forget the Salty Tarot appwill be out soon.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:57):
That's right.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:58):
Uh go to www.the salty tarot.net and subscribe
there, and we will notify youwhen the app drops into the into
the stores.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:08):
Yeah.
Very quickly coming.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:10):
Yes, it is coming quickly and growing rapidly.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:12):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:12):
And uh check out our website,
www.themerchcenters.org.
And also that we have a Discordchannel for the Salty Tarot.
And uh if all you have to do isgo to Discord and search the
Salty Tarot, and uh you can jointhat channel that way because
they too will be notified of thedrop time.
We're on Facebook, Instagram,everything, so you can look us

(01:02:34):
up.
We hope that you will downloadthe app when it comes out.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:37):
Yeah, it's gonna be so much fun.
It already is so much fun.
We're getting to kind of seesnippets of it with the dual
developers.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:44):
What a did not know it was this entailed to develop.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:47):
I didn't either.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:48):
And what a fear it created in me in the beginning.
Wow.
Really?
Yeah.
I was, I mean, all the stuff Ihad to create.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:53):
Yeah.
And had to learn.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:54):
I was like, I'm old.
I can't learn new stuff.
Teach an old dog new tricks.
You're old.
That's what came in my head.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:03):
I better get on uh what was that?
Okay, cupid.
I better get on a book.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:08):
You better give me a replacement.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:10):
Find my replacement parts.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:13):
Yeah, you may be able to 3D print them now.
Who knows?

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:15):
Oh, good thinking.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:17):
Or you know, AI exists.
You can have an AI boyfriend onyour phone.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:20):
Ah, AI 3D printing.
You might be on to somethingthere.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:26):
That's my technology.
Technology.
Yeah, that mind.
Anyway, hey, uh, thank you allfor listening, and I hope you
all really truly listen to thispodcast because it will change
your life.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:36):
It is.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:37):
Have an awesome day.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:38):
Love ya, and then you can't.