April 23, 2025 • 42 mins
Discover the gentle power of mindfulness for your butterfly-minded children with mindfulness expert Natasha Iregbu, founder of Butterfly Minds. Unlike the often-referenced "monkey mind," Natasha's butterfly metaphor beautifully captures both the fluttering thoughts and the potential for transformation that mindfulness offers our kids.
This episode delivers practical, accessible techniques specifically designed for children's developing minds. Learn hand breathing exercises that provide visual and tactile grounding, discover how to teach diaphragmic breathing in child-friendly ways, and explore mindfulness activities that don't require sitting still – perfect for your active little ones.
Beyond techniques, Natasha shares profound insights about teaching children self-compassion. Many kids, especially sensitive or neurodiverse children, develop strong inner critics at young ages. The powerful practice of teaching children to speak to themselves as they would speak to a friend creates a foundation for lifelong emotional resilience. As Natasha wisely notes, "Train your mind to talk to yourself how you would respond to someone you love."
For busy families, the most liberating mindfulness message is that practice doesn't require lengthy dedicated sessions. Discover how to integrate mindfulness into everyday moments – washing dishes, walking to school, or during family meals. These small moments of presence accumulate into significant wellbeing benefits for the entire family.
The episode also touches on the fascinating intersection between mindfulness practices and occupational therapy techniques, offering special relevance for parents of sensitive or neurodiverse children. Ready to transform your family's relationship with stress and bring more peaceful moments into your daily life? Listen now and discover gentle, effective mindfulness practices your children will actually enjoy.
Connect with Natasha Iregbu:
*Website: https://www.butterfly-minds.co.uk/
*Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/butterfly_minds_/
*Substack: https://butterflyminds.substack.com/
*Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Butterfly-Minds/61561529844436/
New! Conscious Family Travels Channel on YouTube with Carrie:
https://www.youtube.com/@consciousfamilytravels
Connect with Carrie:
*Website: https://hearttoheartlife.com/
*Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespiritualparent
*YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpiritualParent
*Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/The-Spiritual-Parent/61554482625081
*Email: info@hearttoheartlife.com
**Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is educational in nature and does not constitute licensed mental health advice. If you need such advice, you should speak with a licensed professional about your unique situation. Thanks so much happy listeners.
© 2024 Heart to Heart Life LLC
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Natasha Iregbu (00:00):
a brain training practice to bring your mind
back into the moment, andthere's different ways that
parents can help children withit.
You can do mindful breathing.
Some kids like that internalwith the breath, and other kids
it makes them feel more anxiousor stressed, focusing on the
breath.
So it does depend on eachindividual child.
(00:22):
One that's quite handy for thebreath is no, this won't be on
the video but a hand breathing,which is when you have your hand
open.
I'm trying to think if you startwith your hand open or closed.
Think of your hand open andbreathing in with your hand open
and then breathing out with itclosed and then breathing in
with your hand open, and you cando it either way.
(00:44):
You can start with your handclosed and then breathe in with
your hand open, and you can doit either way.
You can start with your handclosed and then breathe in to
open.
Vice versa.
It depends on the person, howthey feel.
Some people feel comfortabledoing it, starting with their
hand closed or the hand open,but taking three, three to five
breaths with your hand openingand closing as you breathe is a
nice visual and tactilebreathing activity.
Carrie Lingenfelter (01:08):
Hi Conscious Parents.
It's Carrie here and I am herewith a little info about raising
our mindful kids.
I've got some tips and tricksabout breaking free of the box
and becoming who you are andteaching your kids how to do
that.
Along the way, Join us.
Hi there and welcome back.
It's your friendly, consciousmama here, keri, and I'm so
(01:32):
excited.
I have a guest who has returnedto us from our Thanksgiving
episode Natasha here today, andNatasha, she has a company
called Butterfly Mines.
Natasha, thanks so much forbeing here, and we have to talk
about Butterfly Mines.
Thank you for having me.
It's nice to be back.
So much for being here, and wehave to talk about Butterfly
Minds.
Thank you for having me.
It's nice to be back.
Yeah, I love the name ButterflyMinds.
I think I was chatting with youearlier today actually was
posting on your Instagram that Ilove that name because I use
(01:55):
the term monkey minds with mykids.
What made you think ofbutterfly minds?
Natasha Iregbu (01:59):
My favorite insects has always been
butterflies and then when Ifirst did my mindfulness
training for kids the creativemindfulness method that was back
in 2020, during lockdown Idecided to start training in
mindfulness.
I knew about mindfulness before, but that's when I started my
full teaching mindfulnessjourney and a lot of the time
(02:21):
the teacher would speak aboutthe two different wings of
mindfulness.
Like a bird, so the mindfulness.
The teacher would speak aboutthe two different wings of
mindfulness.
Like a bird, so the mindfulnessof awareness on being one one
side and then the other sidebeing compassion and kindness.
Because a lot of time formindfulness it's focused on
you're bringing your attentionto the moment, but there's not
so much spoken about when yourthoughts come up to be kind
(02:43):
towards yourself.
It's the non-judgment part issometimes missed out or it's not
as known about when people arestarting a mindfulness practice,
like listening to audios andthings.
So I had that in the back of mymind.
So when I was thinking of aname, I thought butterflies.
They symbolize liketransformation and change.
So I wanted my business to bethat that people would feel like
(03:07):
they're changing from feelingstressed and having busy minds
to transform, like a butterfly,to be less busy and calm, with
the being kinder andcompassionate towards themselves
and the butterflies always theystill flutter, but a wee bit
less fluttering when you'repracticing mindfulness to slow
(03:29):
down the the thoughts popping up.
So it's similar to the monkeymind, like the monkey jumping
between the trees, and so theydo really learn about that on
the course as well, aboutteaching kids about the monkey
mind okay, I love that when youmentioned you, part of the
course was talking aboutcompassion you were referring is
(03:52):
this correct?
Carrie Lingenfelter (03:52):
were you referring to compassion for
ourselves and our thought?
Natasha Iregbu (03:55):
process.
Yes, I think compassion forourselves.
A lot of the course there wasin different practices like
self-practice that were onlinefor the teachers who were
training and within the courseas well.
So we had mindfulnessmeditation sips and in the
course there was differenttopics and kindness, being a
(04:18):
friend to yourself.
To teach kids to be a friend tothemselves and to talk to
themselves like they're talkingto a friend and teaching them
compassion for themselves andothers and a lot of kids they've
maybe have a strong innercritic or are feeling anxious
(04:39):
and stressed.
So the mindfulness techniquesis teaching kids that it's okay
to have different thoughts thatcome into your mind, but to try
and not feed the inner criticlike self-doubt and doubting
yourself.
Instead, when the inner criticpops up, to think of if your
(05:00):
friend or someone in your familywas to say that about
themselves how how would yourespond?
And to train the mind to talkto themselves, how they would
respond to someone they loveinstead.
Carrie Lingenfelter (05:12):
I love that so much.
I feel like with our sensitive,highly sensitive kiddos or
neurodiverse kiddos.
It's so easy for our butterflyminds to take off and make all
of these connections.
For our butterfly minds to takeoff and make all of these
connections and sometimes, withthe overactive mind, we can
oftentimes fill in the gap ifpeople don't say things, but
(05:32):
they may make an expression or aface, our mind so often wants
to fill in the gap of whatthey're thinking or saying and
that can so quickly translate tothe inner critics inside of us.
Natasha Iregbu (05:44):
So I love what you're doing, thank you.
It works for adults as well.
A lot of adults have a verystrong inner critic and it's a
lifelong practice.
It's good to teach kids itbecause then they'll grow into
adults and they'll have it inthe back of their minds.
But even starting as an adult,to have that at the back of your
(06:04):
mind whenever you have aself-critical thought pop up
yeah, that's beautiful.
Carrie Lingenfelter (06:10):
As far as starting mindfulness with our
kids, do you have any tips ofwhat does it look like or how do
we?
What would be some basics thatwe could learn or start?
I?
Natasha Iregbu (06:21):
mean a starting point would be teaching them
what mindfulness is, becausethey might have heard of it but
not really, or heard of yoga butnever heard of mindfulness
before, and so it's explaining.
It's a way to train your monkeymind, or train your mind to
focus on what you're doing ineach moment, so it can be
(06:42):
focusing on an activity, like ifyou're eating your tea or
playing an activity.
That mindfulness is bringingyour full attention and
awareness to whatever you'redoing, and when different
thoughts come into your mind,you can notice the thoughts, but
not try not to dwell on thethoughts and just let them pass
(07:03):
and bring your attention back tothe activity.
So it's a brain trainingpractice to bring your mind back
into the moment, and there'sdifferent ways that parents can
help children with it.
You can do mindful breathing.
Some kids like that internalwith the breath, and other kids
it makes them feel more anxiousor stressed focusing on the
(07:25):
breath.
So it does depend on eachindividual child.
One that's quite handy for thebreath is no, this won't be on
the video, but a hand breathing,which is when you have your
hand open.
I'm trying to think if you startwith your hand open or closed.
I think it's your hand open andbreathing in with your hand open
, and then, I think, it's yourhand open and breathing in with
(07:48):
your hand open and thenbreathing out with it closed and
then breathing in with yourhand open, and you can do it
either way.
You can start with your handclosed and then breathe in to
open.
Vice versa, it depends on theperson, how they feel.
Some people feel comfortablestarting with their hand closed
or the hand open, but takingthree, three to five breaths
with your hand open and closingas you breathe is a nice visual
(08:10):
and tactile breathing activity.
That's not you are noticingyour breath, but it's not a
fully in all bed, all bodysensation that you've got a
movement practice as well.
So I know that some childrenmoving a lot, so that doing
their one hand or both hands,even if they're not
concentrating on their breath,even just like opening and
(08:32):
closing their hands, that'sbringing their attention to the
movement is a nice activity tointroduce to any age of kids or
children.
Carrie Lingenfelter (08:43):
Yeah, I love that.
I was going to ask you.
We recently this weekend, myhusband and I took our kids to a
mindful class at a Buddhistcenter here in Colorado and it
was really fun because theyasked us to count our breaths.
We were doing meditation as abig group in a meditation hall.
(09:05):
It was really cool and theyasked us to count our breaths
and then they went around andasked everybody how many breaths
they had and there were a lotof people that said 30 or 32 and
my husband said I had 72breaths.
The person conducting it saidthe number the lower the number,
the better.
It is when you're practicingmeditation because you want to
(09:28):
have the deep, long breath and Iwas thinking about that because
my daughter said she had 72,but I think she said she lost
count and she just guessed anumber.
But it would definitely be likeher to be in the 70s because
she moves very quickly.
Like her to be in the 70sbecause she moves very quickly.
(09:48):
So do you have any when we'reworking on our breath, even as a
grown-up?
I was just thinking about that.
This is a little off course ofwhat we were talking about, but
I think my husband and I areshallow breathers, like I think
we bring it breathe in our chestis.
I've heard diaphragmicbreathing.
Is there anything that?
Natasha Iregbu (10:03):
we need to know.
Yeah, diaphragmic, yeah, yeah,so if you breathe from your
chest, you're more likely tohave faster breathing, or?
more breaths within a minute,but if you have your full breath
from your belly upwards, itslows it down.
So if you can have your onehand on your belly and then
(10:27):
taking a deep breath in noticingyour hand moving and your belly
expanding, and then, when itreaches the top, breathing out
until the air is fully expelledand then breathing in again,
slowly, noticing your bellyexpanding and then again
(10:49):
breathing out, and you cancontinue doing that with one
hand on your belly and you canmove to putting the other hand
on your side to your lowest ribarea and then take the breath in
again and you can feel yourbelly and in your side and then
(11:10):
slowly exhale and your sidefalls, belly falls.
And in the last section it'sputting your hand on your chest
and that other hand still onyour belly and taking a slow
inhale and you can feel thebelly, your side and then your
chest lift and then slowlyexhale and your chest falls,
(11:30):
side falls, belly falls.
You repeat doing that yourbreath will.
You might notice now your breathmight feel a bit slower.
So that's it.
You can do it any time If itdoes feel like you're in a
situation that's feelingstressed or you just notice your
(11:52):
breathing is just really quick,just taking a few moments to
put one hand on your belly, oryou can put one hand on your
belly and your chest and justsee if you can notice your
breath being from your bellyupwards, okay that's really
helpful because I don't thinkthe breath gets to our belly for
(12:12):
my husband and I, and thatreally makes sense with how our
children are when we ask them todo breaths when they're having
a moment.
Carrie Lingenfelter (12:20):
So I'm gonna try teaching my kids that
with the.
My kids are almost seven andalmost ten, so I feel like
that's something they candefinitely practice and try.
Yeah, I love that there's also.
Natasha Iregbu (12:33):
I've not got it next to me, I usually have it
here, but it's in a bagsomewhere.
It's called a breathing abreathing ball have you seen
them before?
Or a hoberman's spear.
It's like a colourful ball andit's almost like kinetic, like
the sticks, but it's allconnected in a ball and when
it's closed it's squished up.
(12:53):
And then you open it up and askthem to take a deep breath in
as the ball expands and thenbreathe out as the ball closes
back in, and taking a fewbreaths like that can help slow
down the breathing.
The same with your hand as well.
The same action, but with abreathing ball.
You can get them online in alot of different places, but
(13:14):
they're always popular toolswhenever I take it to do
workshops or school visits.
The kids always love thebreathing ball and, yeah, makes
them feel relaxed.
Carrie Lingenfelter (13:25):
I love that .
I'm going to use ours becausethey even have those little
balls that expand and you cancontract them.
They sell them at Target herein the states.
I bought one recently.
My kiddos love it, and so thatwould be a great tool to see it
yeah, it's visual for the what'shappening in their body, as
well as the lungs.
Natasha Iregbu (13:41):
This is your lungs, with the.
Carrie Lingenfelter (13:43):
The ball opening and closing does it get
easier to notice your to tobuild using your diaphragm and
breathing into your belly moreas you do it?
Natasha Iregbu (13:55):
yeah, the more often you do.
You then realize when you'renot doing it you're like, oh,
you almost feel.
Do you ever feel like out ofbreath when you're stressed,
that you feel like almost nothyperventilating but you just
feel like there's not any spaceto breathe.
Do you practice the bellybreathing?
(14:20):
Over time You'll notice thatwhen your breath changes it
would be quite hard to do bellybreathing all the time, but it
does.
Yeah, being conscious, doing itwill help you at times in your
subconscious.
You will do it at some times.
But you probably just don'trealise that when you're relaxed
you're probably belly breathing, but you won't be consciously
(14:43):
paying attention to your breath.
Carrie Lingenfelter (14:44):
So when you notice it more, it'll start to
calm you when you're breathingthat's good to know and I think
with a lot of the kids who areneurodiverse sometimes it can
come with a core weakness, so alot of the kiddos go to ot and
pt for the core.
Does that affect our breathingtoo?
Natasha Iregbu (15:06):
the core weakness yeah, yeah yeah, not.
So I don't know that much aboutfor the kids, for the core, but
I know that even for for mums.
A lot of the exercisespostpartum are based on and and
developing that core strength.
I went to Pilates postpartumPilates and a lot of it was
(15:29):
based on posture, your core andbreathing combined, because if
you've not got a strong core, itaffects your, your back, and
then you might not feel theconnection between your core as
well.
If you've had it depends can beeither either type of birth
depend.
If you've got any separation,then you might not be able to
(15:50):
feel very much.
So, yeah, building the and thenyou wouldn't realize the
connection between your breathas well as your breath, belly
breathing.
Carrie Lingenfelter (15:58):
So it does all connects that makes so much
sense, because consciousbreathing is when you're having
the moments postpartum thatmakes so much sense, or even
like when I have big kids andneeding to have moments of
breath.
If you're not strong in thecore and not able to get there,
then that can make it so muchharder to calm your body and
(16:21):
stay connected.
Natasha Iregbu (16:22):
Yeah, ground yeah, and a lot of times people
kids and adults will be liketense in your stomach as well.
Beginning of, like, my yogaclasses usually start with a
breath awareness and before I dothe breath awareness, I ask
people to close their eyes orlower their gaze and notice
where they can feel tense intheir body, because a lot of
(16:44):
time you, when you're justsitting down, you might be
unconsciously holding your bellyin and not fully relaxing your
belly.
So invite them to relax yourbelly, relax your shoulders,
your jaw and your forehead,because those are points that a
lot of the time don't realise,that your shoulders might feel
really tense and it's justrelaxing them down or if you're
(17:06):
constantly holding your stomachin, just letting it relax and
your jaw as well if you're tensein it.
It's just a thing that whenyou're stressed, just carrying a
physical reaction that you'recarrying that stress and even
just relaxing those differentpoints in your body can help you
(17:27):
feel more present and relaxedis that something that you can
teach kids too?
Carrie Lingenfelter (17:34):
I feel like I've heard, even from the
dentist, that my daughter she'ssuper sensitive and going
through a super sensitive momentand she's been grinding in her
teeth yep or if they're having amoment.
I can hear them going with theteeth or I see the hands
clenched sometimes yeah, yeah.
Natasha Iregbu (17:52):
So even just asking her, it might even be
that she doesn't realize thatshe's like grinding her teeth.
It might just be an unconsciouscoping strategy.
So you could even ask her justto if she's in a moment that
she's like grinding her teeth,it might just be an unconscious
coping strategy.
So you could even ask her justto, if she's in a moment that
she's not like fully heightened.
Or especially, try themindfulness techniques when
children are calm, because thenthey learn it when they're calm
(18:13):
and then over time they can thenuse them when they are
dysregulated.
So when she's calm you can trya short mindfulness activity so
you can just ask her to sit downand to she can be just sitting
comfortably and then ask her tonotice how she's feeling in her
body and ask her just to see ifthere's anywhere that feels it
(18:39):
feels tight.
And she might be like likethat's all stiff and then she
might.
Then you say, oh, there's tight.
She might like just naturallyrelax and then you can prompt by
saying are you holding yourstomach in, are you holding your
tummy in?
And if you are, see if you canrelax your tummy and then relax
(18:59):
your hands, your shoulders.
Do they feel like they're closeto your ears or do they feel
uncomfortable, and you can askher to wiggle her shoulders and
just relax her shoulders downand then move into the jaw.
You can say relax your tongue,because your tongue is not
something that you think aboutrelaxing either.
So you could say, like yourtongue rests and your jaws and
(19:23):
then your forehead, and thenhave a neutral, our face will
just be fully relaxed.
And then you can ask her totake a few deep breaths.
So you could ask her to take adeep breath in and count,
counting to four on the deepbreath in, and then slowly
exhale, and she could exhale foreight or any number.
(19:46):
That depends on each individualperson.
Some people can hold theirbreath in for longer and out
longer, so you can, as long asthe exhale is longer than the
inhale, and that helps to relaxI love that.
Carrie Lingenfelter (20:00):
I'm going to try that with her when she's
going to bed after we've readour story.
We've been doing like guidedmeditations and type of
grounding and releasing energyfrom the day.
So I feel like that would be areally great one to incorporate
into that moment for her.
Natasha Iregbu (20:16):
Yeah.
Does she like meditations?
Has she tried meditations liketry meditations, like guided
meditations audios before?
Does she like listening to them?
Carrie Lingenfelter (20:24):
I haven't done the guided ones, I've just
done the ones that I do with her.
Sometimes I do based off ofwhat she loves.
I'll do like a princess onewith castles and things, or
lately we've been having a lotof nightmares.
We just, I, started doing likean energy work, one where we're
bringing our energy from thecore of the earth up to her and
spreading it throughout her bodyand then sending any negative
(20:47):
feelings or big feelings fromthe day into the earth.
So we've been trying to do that.
Natasha Iregbu (20:53):
Yeah, that sounds like a relaxing bedtime
routine.
Carrie Lingenfelter (20:58):
It has this last weekend it didn't really
help.
Natasha Iregbu (21:09):
I've got a short kid's meditation routine.
It has this last weekend.
It didn't really help.
I think it's only four minutesor four and a half minutes so I
can send you the link.
It's on my website if anyone'sinterested.
But it's a free kids yoga nidrameditation and it's.
I've recorded it a while.
I think it's like a jungle.
I think it's a jungle, a forest.
It's a forest meditation.
So Yoga Nidra is it's notmindfulness, it's separate to
mindfulness, but you are stillbeing present.
But there's different aspectsto Yoga Nidra.
(21:30):
It takes you through differentlevels of awareness of your body
.
So it's similar to Reiki how itgoes through different levels
of your body.
Yoga Nidra there'sothers forthe kids ones, because it's
quite the one I've got.
I wrote the script and createdit myself.
It's quite short, but thenthere's varying lessons for kids
and adults and it's basicallythe end result is to help you
(21:54):
fully, deeply relax, becauseyou're relaxing all levels of
your body from.
You're relaxing your physicalbody, your mental and emotional
body and, yeah, physical, mental, emotional, yeah, all different
layers of the body to helpthat's great.
Carrie Lingenfelter (22:15):
I will check that on your website and
we'll put your website in theshow notes too, because yoga
nidra, you had mentioned that,that's really yeah to try, so
moms can do it as well, orparents yeah as well.
Natasha Iregbu (22:26):
Yeah, yeah, it's a good practice, for usually
for adults, around 20 to 30minutes is a good beginner.
Yoga nidra what is yourfavourite type of meditation?
There are different elements toan adult's one.
There's counting andvisualisations, breath awareness
(22:49):
.
It's my favourite type ofmeditation.
I like mindfulness and do moreeveryday mindfulness, practical
mindfulness and some mindfulnessbreathing.
But if I want to have a longerduration of relaxation, yoga
Nidra is my go-to.
(23:09):
It's said that around 20-30minutes of Yoga Nidra is as
restorative as two hours ofsleep.
So you don't fully sleep, butyour body goes into the liminal,
the state of kind of like whenyou're about to fall asleep or
when you're just waking up, thatkind of hazy feeling.
(23:33):
During Yoga Nidra you're inthat state, so it restores your
body and your energy.
So it's very good for mums whodon't have much sleep or just,
yeah, feeling a bit stressed andjust need some relaxation time
what's your favorite thing totell parents when they're
starting out on a mindfulnessjourney?
Carrie Lingenfelter (23:54):
or what's your favorite tip or ideas where
do you like?
Natasha Iregbu (23:58):
to start or share share, to not feel
overwhelmed or to feel that youneed a lot of time to practice
mindfulness that can be broughtinto everyday moments that you
don't have to carve out a longamount of time every day, like
every day to practice.
It can be brought into theactivities, like if you're like
(24:21):
washing dishes or doinghousework, you can bring your
full attention to the process ofwashing the dishes, like
watching the water, using thesponge or the brush or even
stacking the dishwasher, justbringing your full attention to
that activity.
And when your mind jumps fromdifferent thoughts, just try to
(24:43):
not delve into the thoughts andbring your attention back to the
activity and that will help you.
If your thoughts thinking, oh,I need to go and clip the kids
or I need to hoover and to doloads of different things, just
focusing on that one activitycan help your mind slow down and
you can practice that at anypoint yeah, I love that.
Carrie Lingenfelter (25:07):
We think we need two hours of self-care to
recharge washing the dishes.
It's funny you bring that oneup, because that is probably one
of my moments where I reallyjust focus on what I'm doing and
when I walk away from washingthe dishes I feel like recharged
in that moment.
Natasha Iregbu (25:24):
Yeah, yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (25:26):
So that's one of my favorites.
Yeah, it's so hard.
I don't know about overseas.
If it's the same in the US, Ifeel like we always.
It's all over Instagram.
It's like how to use the mostof your day, multitasking, and
there's always tips and pointersabout doing two or three things
at once.
And so I love what you'resaying.
(25:48):
I feel like our culture tendsto go the opposite.
Natasha Iregbu (25:52):
Yeah, it's the same in the UK as well.
You're trying to fit as muchinto short amounts of time,
which is useful in some aspectsif you're wanting to completely
try and get a lot.
If you're working, you want tofocus and doing like 20 minutes
and then have the pomerodo Ithink it's called pomodoro yeah,
(26:12):
I'm not pronouncing thispomodoro technique or method and
that's.
I find that quite useful andit's, yeah, 20 minutes of
focused activity and then having, I think, five or ten minutes
as a break and then continuedoing that.
That's a good productivity hackfor working.
But yeah, I do agree that it canbe hard when there's so many
(26:35):
different things that you'reconsuming as well, because a lot
of times it's hard to know.
It's hard for mums especiallyto connect to themselves because
they're thinking about theirkids, or when you're not
thinking about your kids and yougo on social media and then
scroll and then you're consumingwhat everyone else is saying
(26:58):
and then maybe entering intocomparison and then it just ends
up in a big loop and you neveractually have time to or create
time to connect to your ownintuition and oneself yeah, yeah
.
Carrie Lingenfelter (27:18):
I think that's so important and it's so
important we're modeling it forour kids because if we're here,
if society is at this point fromwhere it was when you and I
were little I don't know, I waslittle in like the 80s, early
90s I can't imagine where it'sgoing to be in 20 years or 30
years from now yeah, I know.
Natasha Iregbu (27:39):
Yeah, it's scary to think what, or even 10 years
, how things are going to.
Yeah, be be different for kids.
Yeah I hope that there are more,because mindfulness and yoga
are so well known about now andso many different people try it,
that children, more children,are interested in doing it and
if they see their parentspracticing mindfulness or going
(28:02):
to yoga, they'll then copy themor be interested and ask
questions about what what it isto help their own well-being.
I'm not sure in the us do theyhave?
I know I see it because Ifollow people on instagram.
They have like yoga classes andthings, but do they have the
schools?
Do any?
Do they have like mindfulnessor yoga things in school?
Carrie Lingenfelter (28:24):
I think that yoga is a big piece, so we
switched our kids over to acharter school.
So it's not the regular schooland its focus is social and
emotional.
So they do a lot of mindfulness.
There's even like littleaffirmations that my kids came
home with recently in firstgrade and third grade yeah, it's
been really cool that is good.
Natasha Iregbu (28:45):
Yeah, it'd be amazing if that was in in all
schools that they're.
I know their social emotionallearning is within schools, but
it'd be good if it was like anallocated amount of time every
day.
That was like for 15 minutesevery day.
We're going to do somemindfulness activities or
well-being activities.
Carrie Lingenfelter (29:06):
Make a difference yeah, I think there's
this push in American cultureto get your kids into an
activity, so they have anactivity like every day, and so
I try to choose one or maybe twoat the most activities for my
kids, so they do have the downdays where they can just play
and get into.
For my son it's like he gets inthe flow state playing with his
(29:27):
Legos, or my daughter gets inthe flow state with coloring and
writing, and so, yeah, givingthem that downtime.
Natasha Iregbu (29:34):
Yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (29:34):
But I think , even if parents are not able
to cut back on activities orthey're busy in their lives, I
think for us recently I've beenthinking about like when we're
eating I've been telling thekids let's slow down, let's look
at our plate, let's say I havea moment of gratitude, thank you
to this food for nourishing mybody and giving me the energy
(29:56):
that I need for myself.
So thank you.
So just even just having thatlittle moment to maybe think
about like food and what it doesfor our bodies and yeah,
mindful eating is quite a yeah agood practice for for kids.
Natasha Iregbu (30:12):
Even just to notice that, then, with the
sense, bringing the senses intomindful eating at mealtimes is
good as well.
Like noticing what's on yourplate and different colours, and
then when you're, it smellswith the food and different
tastes and textures as well.
When you're chewing, noticewhat is it?
(30:34):
Something smooth or spicy, likedifferent, yeah, different,
yeah, different senses withinmeal times can help slow down.
So sometimes it can be ifyou've got something to go to
after or you've just had a busyday, it can be easy just to like
we'll just sit down and justeat quickly, but just to slow
(30:55):
down at dinner time, to justfully, even as a family because
I know that some families haveall the same meal and our
families might have differentmeals but even if they're at
different meals, you can stillpractice the mindfulness
activity together, noticingwhat's on your plate and, yeah,
what colors.
Can you see?
What?
(31:15):
What smells, how does it?
The food tastes?
Carrie Lingenfelter (31:19):
it's salty, sweet, smooth, spicy, cold,
yeah yeah, that's, and you know,what's really interesting is a
lot of the things that you'redoing in the tools that you're
using go along with feedingtherapy.
It's what the occupationaltherapists and the speech
therapists do with kids that aremore picky eaters.
So with your tiny one whenyou're doing that.
(31:40):
I think, you have a little guy.
So when you're doing all ofthose things, I did that when my
kids were your kiddos age.
Natasha Iregbu (31:47):
And.
Carrie Lingenfelter (31:48):
I still do that Sometimes, we do for fun.
If I'm like are you, is yourbody ready for a challenge?
Let's close your eyes.
And I'm going to put one thingon your plate, in your mouth,
and I want you to tell me whichone it is.
Natasha Iregbu (31:59):
and so my kids will do that to each other now,
like playing around when we'reeating yeah, I used to.
When I worked with kids in ayouth center, they used to do
taste tests with them and theyalways loved taste tests.
They used to do with differentcrusts or different fruits and
we'd cover the bowl and they hadto taste it, and then it was
like a mindfulness activity, butit was.
(32:20):
They had to guess the flavor.
So it helped them slow down andeven if they didn't like it, at
least you've tasted it and youcan then recognize the different
flavors.
Carrie Lingenfelter (32:29):
And yeah, it's interesting to know because
I've not had any experienceworking with occupational
therapists like directly, soit's interesting that there
there's that overlap yeah, yeah,it's really cool a lot of I'm
realizing, like so many of thestrategies that OTs teach our
(32:49):
kids when they're trying toregulate help regulate the
systems yeah so many of it, somuch of it overlaps with
mindfulness yeah and even somepieces of spirituality overlaps
with mindfulness, and even somepieces of spirituality come in
with the mindful.
All these pieces are allintertwined.
(33:13):
And you see so much growth inthese highly sensitive kids or
neurodiverse kids or just reallygifted and talented kids coming
in.
So it's really fun to see allthat growth.
No-transcript, carrie, I am theslowest eater at work oh wow, I
(33:49):
was like yeah, I guess in thecorporate world it's eat right
inhale your lunch and then getback to work.
Yeah, it's hard.
So I'm like, yeah, think ofwhere everybody would be
creatively if we all sat down toeat and decompressed for a
(34:10):
minute.
I know there's a lot of busymoms.
I'll say something like when Isit down and have a moment and
eat.
I'll do that a lot, even whenI'm eating by myself at home as
a working mom at home yeahthere's a lot of moms that are
like you, sit down and eat.
Natasha Iregbu (34:23):
I'm like, yes, you have to do that for your
body even if you're by yourselflike, just sit down and eat yeah
, and I think, just from havinglike the family if you are with
your family as well, it's goodto try and have that as like
quality time as well, and tryingto model that with maybe boys
will just always sit down andeat together to yeah, to the
(34:48):
kind of almost like a socialthing as well, that they're
learning, that's what they doand that's uh, that eating can
be a social, yeah, social skillas well yeah, I think the
biggest takeaway today for me isyou don't need to have two
hours, you can do yourmindfulness as you go.
Carrie Lingenfelter (35:07):
Is there any last thoughts you have with
the mindful pieces for busyfamilies?
Natasha Iregbu (35:12):
I'd say those are the main tips.
I'll see if I'll have a thinkif there's anything else.
Isn't the kindness element aswell?
That is, if you do notice thatyou get frustrated.
I know that sometimes whenyou're starting something like a
meditation or mindfulnesspractice, it can almost be like
a challenge.
It could be good to get started, but if it starts feeling a bit
(35:33):
difficult or maybe not have thetime to do it, it can then turn
into, oh, I should be doing it,and it becomes like a something
that you should be doing ratherthan something that you want to
do or try and practice.
So, just remembering to be kindto yourself and remember that
it's it's an ongoing journey.
It's not something that youjust start and you think, oh, I
need to do this for 10 minutesevery day.
(35:55):
That you can every day isdifferent.
You can do one minute one day,half an hour the next day.
It just, yeah, depends.
And be kind to to yourself andtry not to put any pressure on
yourself to do everything yes, Ilove that.
Carrie Lingenfelter (36:11):
I remember when I was little, my
grandmother she was veryspiritual and I remember her
speaking to herself like okay,yolanda, you got this, you can
figure this out, like you can dothis.
So I love the idea of modeling.
Okay, carrie, you can figureout this computer program, you
can build this website.
Try again.
Like modeling that in front ofour kids when we're trying hard
(36:33):
things yeah, yeah, definitelyyeah, I recently was saying I
would like to talk to myself orto see myself the way that my
husband or my mom see me,because they see me in such a
different version compared towhat I see myself like or how I
speak to myself yeah, yeah, Ithink that's a lot of people.
Natasha Iregbu (36:56):
Yeah, I do that sometimes as well.
I'm like why am I being mean tomyself?
It's not until you realise thatyou're putting so much pressure
on yourself that when you stop,you're like I wouldn't be
putting all this pressure onsomebody else or telling them
that you should be doing this oryou're not doing enough.
It is challenging to try andswitch it back over to yourself,
(37:19):
but it's worth doing it, yeahyeah, even if it's little by
little.
Carrie Lingenfelter (37:23):
I think after this I'm gonna go write a
sticky note and put it on mymirror for myself, like words of
motivation for myself and thenfor my kids.
Natasha Iregbu (37:30):
I'll do it too, or I might have them write their
own and put it on the mirroryeah, I think affirmations are
good, but you were saying thatyour, yeah, your kids got
affirmations from school.
I've got.
I recently made a digital kidsgratitude journal.
It's 365 days, but it's not gotdates in it, so they can start
and do it anytime, and each dayit's they can write or draw or
(37:51):
both three different things.
Three things people or placesthat they're grateful for and at
the beginning of the journalthere's a breathing exercise.
It's called infinity breathingor lazy eight breathing.
It's the infinity symbol andthey trace their finger around
it, breathing in and out.
And then it's got the gratitudepractice and at the end of each
(38:14):
week there's differentaffirmations as well to affirm
the gratitude.
I think affirmations are goodfor all ages, to remind yourself
of how you are as a person.
Other people probably say oh,carrie's so confident and then
(38:35):
just tell yourself that I amconfident.
Carrie Lingenfelter (38:37):
I am, and often yeah, yes, I love that.
I'm going to go check that out.
So your gratitude journal forthe kids.
The download is that on yourwebsite as well.
Natasha Iregbu (38:52):
Yeah, so the meditation's free, and then the
journal is.
I don't know what it's indollars, but yeah, times okay,
how cool.
Carrie Lingenfelter (39:02):
That's a great idea.
So, yeah, we have your websiteand then we'll include that in
the show notes.
And there's something else Iwas going to say with it, but I
don't remember right now.
So thanks so much, natasha, forspending your time with us and
sharing all these mindful ideasso we can walk out as mindful
people.
Natasha Iregbu (39:22):
It's nice chatting to you.
I forgot to mention as well.
Yeah, I've got two Instagrampages.
One page is my Butterfly Minds,but the other Instagram page is
also an author as well.
So I've got two kids'mindfulness books and one is
Mindful Living for Parents twokids mindfulness books and one
is mindful living for parents.
So they're all mindfulnessthrough storytelling to help
(39:43):
reach more children and familieswith mindfulness.
The kids ones are introductionsto mindfulness, like
mindfulness of essences andactivity pages on social and
emotional activities, and in theparents is mindfulness within
everyday, everyday life throughthrough stories and different
reflection activities andbeautiful what?
Carrie Lingenfelter (40:05):
what were the name of your books?
That's amazing.
Natasha Iregbu (40:08):
My first book is called slow down amaya and
that's um.
Maya's a butterfly who's gotadhd and she's very excitable
and she learns how to slow downwith mindfulness.
And the second book she meetsSammy, who's a sunflower and
he's autistic, so they becomefriends.
And in the second book is SlowDown Sammy, so it's focused on
(40:31):
Sammy and how mindfulness canhelp with worries and anxiety.
So Maya teaches him the5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique to
help let go of worries.
Carrie Lingenfelter (40:43):
Beautiful.
I love that my kids are.
Since we have late start today,my kids are both downstairs
watching Stillwater.
I don't know if you've everheard of Stillwater, so there's
a book series.
It's a panda named Stillwater.
I can't remember what the nameof this series are, but there's
several.
There's three or four booksthat talk about mindfulness
practices, and then Apple TVmade it into a little TV series
(41:06):
and it's called Stillwater isthe name of the panda.
He's mindful, so it might bereally cool with your son.
Natasha Iregbu (41:12):
Yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (41:13):
Peaceful Piggy is another one of our
favorite ones too.
Natasha Iregbu (41:16):
Oh, I'm gonna tell it goes up, thank you.
Yeah, thank you so much,natasha.
Carrie Lingenfelter (41:20):
You too, thank you.
Well, that's a wrap.
Thanks so much for tuning in.
Changemakers.
This is Keri, and if youhaven't done a review for us,
five stars and a little fewwords about what you've enjoyed
in our podcast episodes, wewould really appreciate it.
If you guys would like to evermessage me, I would love any
questions you have or anyfeedback.
(41:41):
At info at hearttoheartlifecom.
We also have a brand newwebsite which we're super
excited to share.
It's hearttoheartlifecom.
Thanks so much for tuning inand happy life, happy times.
Changemaker families.
a brain training practice to bring your mind
back into the moment, andthere's different ways that
parents can help children withit.
You can do mindful breathing.
Some kids like that internalwith the breath, and other kids
it makes them feel more anxiousor stressed, focusing on the
breath.
So it does depend on eachindividual child.
(00:22):
One that's quite handy for thebreath is no, this won't be on
the video but a hand breathing,which is when you have your hand
open.
I'm trying to think if you startwith your hand open or closed.
Think of your hand open andbreathing in with your hand open
and then breathing out with itclosed and then breathing in
with your hand open, and you cando it either way.
(00:44):
You can start with your handclosed and then breathe in with
your hand open, and you can doit either way.
You can start with your handclosed and then breathe in to
open.
Vice versa.
It depends on the person, howthey feel.
Some people feel comfortabledoing it, starting with their
hand closed or the hand open,but taking three, three to five
breaths with your hand openingand closing as you breathe is a
nice visual and tactilebreathing activity.
Carrie Lingenfelter (01:08):
Hi Conscious Parents.
It's Carrie here and I am herewith a little info about raising
our mindful kids.
I've got some tips and tricksabout breaking free of the box
and becoming who you are andteaching your kids how to do
that.
Along the way, Join us.
Hi there and welcome back.
It's your friendly, consciousmama here, keri, and I'm so
(01:32):
excited.
I have a guest who has returnedto us from our Thanksgiving
episode Natasha here today, andNatasha, she has a company
called Butterfly Mines.
Natasha, thanks so much forbeing here, and we have to talk
about Butterfly Mines.
Thank you for having me.
It's nice to be back.
So much for being here, and wehave to talk about Butterfly
Minds.
Thank you for having me.
It's nice to be back.
Yeah, I love the name ButterflyMinds.
I think I was chatting with youearlier today actually was
posting on your Instagram that Ilove that name because I use
(01:55):
the term monkey minds with mykids.
What made you think ofbutterfly minds?
Natasha Iregbu (01:59):
My favorite insects has always been
butterflies and then when Ifirst did my mindfulness
training for kids the creativemindfulness method that was back
in 2020, during lockdown Idecided to start training in
mindfulness.
I knew about mindfulness before, but that's when I started my
full teaching mindfulnessjourney and a lot of the time
(02:21):
the teacher would speak aboutthe two different wings of
mindfulness.
Like a bird, so the mindfulness.
The teacher would speak aboutthe two different wings of
mindfulness.
Like a bird, so the mindfulnessof awareness on being one one
side and then the other sidebeing compassion and kindness.
Because a lot of time formindfulness it's focused on
you're bringing your attentionto the moment, but there's not
so much spoken about when yourthoughts come up to be kind
(02:43):
towards yourself.
It's the non-judgment part issometimes missed out or it's not
as known about when people arestarting a mindfulness practice,
like listening to audios andthings.
So I had that in the back of mymind.
So when I was thinking of aname, I thought butterflies.
They symbolize liketransformation and change.
So I wanted my business to bethat that people would feel like
(03:07):
they're changing from feelingstressed and having busy minds
to transform, like a butterfly,to be less busy and calm, with
the being kinder andcompassionate towards themselves
and the butterflies always theystill flutter, but a wee bit
less fluttering when you'repracticing mindfulness to slow
(03:29):
down the the thoughts popping up.
So it's similar to the monkeymind, like the monkey jumping
between the trees, and so theydo really learn about that on
the course as well, aboutteaching kids about the monkey
mind okay, I love that when youmentioned you, part of the
course was talking aboutcompassion you were referring is
(03:52):
this correct?
Carrie Lingenfelter (03:52):
were you referring to compassion for
ourselves and our thought?
Natasha Iregbu (03:55):
process.
Yes, I think compassion forourselves.
A lot of the course there wasin different practices like
self-practice that were onlinefor the teachers who were
training and within the courseas well.
So we had mindfulnessmeditation sips and in the
course there was differenttopics and kindness, being a
(04:18):
friend to yourself.
To teach kids to be a friend tothemselves and to talk to
themselves like they're talkingto a friend and teaching them
compassion for themselves andothers and a lot of kids they've
maybe have a strong innercritic or are feeling anxious
(04:39):
and stressed.
So the mindfulness techniquesis teaching kids that it's okay
to have different thoughts thatcome into your mind, but to try
and not feed the inner criticlike self-doubt and doubting
yourself.
Instead, when the inner criticpops up, to think of if your
(05:00):
friend or someone in your familywas to say that about
themselves how how would yourespond?
And to train the mind to talkto themselves, how they would
respond to someone they loveinstead.
Carrie Lingenfelter (05:12):
I love that so much.
I feel like with our sensitive,highly sensitive kiddos or
neurodiverse kiddos.
It's so easy for our butterflyminds to take off and make all
of these connections.
For our butterfly minds to takeoff and make all of these
connections and sometimes, withthe overactive mind, we can
oftentimes fill in the gap ifpeople don't say things, but
(05:32):
they may make an expression or aface, our mind so often wants
to fill in the gap of whatthey're thinking or saying and
that can so quickly translate tothe inner critics inside of us.
Natasha Iregbu (05:44):
So I love what you're doing, thank you.
It works for adults as well.
A lot of adults have a verystrong inner critic and it's a
lifelong practice.
It's good to teach kids itbecause then they'll grow into
adults and they'll have it inthe back of their minds.
But even starting as an adult,to have that at the back of your
(06:04):
mind whenever you have aself-critical thought pop up
yeah, that's beautiful.
Carrie Lingenfelter (06:10):
As far as starting mindfulness with our
kids, do you have any tips ofwhat does it look like or how do
we?
What would be some basics thatwe could learn or start?
I?
Natasha Iregbu (06:21):
mean a starting point would be teaching them
what mindfulness is, becausethey might have heard of it but
not really, or heard of yoga butnever heard of mindfulness
before, and so it's explaining.
It's a way to train your monkeymind, or train your mind to
focus on what you're doing ineach moment, so it can be
(06:42):
focusing on an activity, like ifyou're eating your tea or
playing an activity.
That mindfulness is bringingyour full attention and
awareness to whatever you'redoing, and when different
thoughts come into your mind,you can notice the thoughts, but
not try not to dwell on thethoughts and just let them pass
(07:03):
and bring your attention back tothe activity.
So it's a brain trainingpractice to bring your mind back
into the moment, and there'sdifferent ways that parents can
help children with it.
You can do mindful breathing.
Some kids like that internalwith the breath, and other kids
it makes them feel more anxiousor stressed focusing on the
(07:25):
breath.
So it does depend on eachindividual child.
One that's quite handy for thebreath is no, this won't be on
the video, but a hand breathing,which is when you have your
hand open.
I'm trying to think if you startwith your hand open or closed.
I think it's your hand open andbreathing in with your hand open
, and then, I think, it's yourhand open and breathing in with
(07:48):
your hand open and thenbreathing out with it closed and
then breathing in with yourhand open, and you can do it
either way.
You can start with your handclosed and then breathe in to
open.
Vice versa, it depends on theperson, how they feel.
Some people feel comfortablestarting with their hand closed
or the hand open, but takingthree, three to five breaths
with your hand open and closingas you breathe is a nice visual
(08:10):
and tactile breathing activity.
That's not you are noticingyour breath, but it's not a
fully in all bed, all bodysensation that you've got a
movement practice as well.
So I know that some childrenmoving a lot, so that doing
their one hand or both hands,even if they're not
concentrating on their breath,even just like opening and
(08:32):
closing their hands, that'sbringing their attention to the
movement is a nice activity tointroduce to any age of kids or
children.
Carrie Lingenfelter (08:43):
Yeah, I love that.
I was going to ask you.
We recently this weekend, myhusband and I took our kids to a
mindful class at a Buddhistcenter here in Colorado and it
was really fun because theyasked us to count our breaths.
We were doing meditation as abig group in a meditation hall.
(09:05):
It was really cool and theyasked us to count our breaths
and then they went around andasked everybody how many breaths
they had and there were a lotof people that said 30 or 32 and
my husband said I had 72breaths.
The person conducting it saidthe number the lower the number,
the better.
It is when you're practicingmeditation because you want to
(09:28):
have the deep, long breath and Iwas thinking about that because
my daughter said she had 72,but I think she said she lost
count and she just guessed anumber.
But it would definitely be likeher to be in the 70s because
she moves very quickly.
Like her to be in the 70sbecause she moves very quickly.
(09:48):
So do you have any when we'reworking on our breath, even as a
grown-up?
I was just thinking about that.
This is a little off course ofwhat we were talking about, but
I think my husband and I areshallow breathers, like I think
we bring it breathe in our chestis.
I've heard diaphragmicbreathing.
Is there anything that?
Natasha Iregbu (10:03):
we need to know.
Yeah, diaphragmic, yeah, yeah,so if you breathe from your
chest, you're more likely tohave faster breathing, or?
more breaths within a minute,but if you have your full breath
from your belly upwards, itslows it down.
So if you can have your onehand on your belly and then
(10:27):
taking a deep breath in noticingyour hand moving and your belly
expanding, and then, when itreaches the top, breathing out
until the air is fully expelledand then breathing in again,
slowly, noticing your bellyexpanding and then again
(10:49):
breathing out, and you cancontinue doing that with one
hand on your belly and you canmove to putting the other hand
on your side to your lowest ribarea and then take the breath in
again and you can feel yourbelly and in your side and then
(11:10):
slowly exhale and your sidefalls, belly falls.
And in the last section it'sputting your hand on your chest
and that other hand still onyour belly and taking a slow
inhale and you can feel thebelly, your side and then your
chest lift and then slowlyexhale and your chest falls,
(11:30):
side falls, belly falls.
You repeat doing that yourbreath will.
You might notice now your breathmight feel a bit slower.
So that's it.
You can do it any time If itdoes feel like you're in a
situation that's feelingstressed or you just notice your
(11:52):
breathing is just really quick,just taking a few moments to
put one hand on your belly, oryou can put one hand on your
belly and your chest and justsee if you can notice your
breath being from your bellyupwards, okay that's really
helpful because I don't thinkthe breath gets to our belly for
(12:12):
my husband and I, and thatreally makes sense with how our
children are when we ask them todo breaths when they're having
a moment.
Carrie Lingenfelter (12:20):
So I'm gonna try teaching my kids that
with the.
My kids are almost seven andalmost ten, so I feel like
that's something they candefinitely practice and try.
Yeah, I love that there's also.
Natasha Iregbu (12:33):
I've not got it next to me, I usually have it
here, but it's in a bagsomewhere.
It's called a breathing abreathing ball have you seen
them before?
Or a hoberman's spear.
It's like a colourful ball andit's almost like kinetic, like
the sticks, but it's allconnected in a ball and when
it's closed it's squished up.
(12:53):
And then you open it up and askthem to take a deep breath in
as the ball expands and thenbreathe out as the ball closes
back in, and taking a fewbreaths like that can help slow
down the breathing.
The same with your hand as well.
The same action, but with abreathing ball.
You can get them online in alot of different places, but
(13:14):
they're always popular toolswhenever I take it to do
workshops or school visits.
The kids always love thebreathing ball and, yeah, makes
them feel relaxed.
Carrie Lingenfelter (13:25):
I love that .
I'm going to use ours becausethey even have those little
balls that expand and you cancontract them.
They sell them at Target herein the states.
I bought one recently.
My kiddos love it, and so thatwould be a great tool to see it
yeah, it's visual for the what'shappening in their body, as
well as the lungs.
Natasha Iregbu (13:41):
This is your lungs, with the.
Carrie Lingenfelter (13:43):
The ball opening and closing does it get
easier to notice your to tobuild using your diaphragm and
breathing into your belly moreas you do it?
Natasha Iregbu (13:55):
yeah, the more often you do.
You then realize when you'renot doing it you're like, oh,
you almost feel.
Do you ever feel like out ofbreath when you're stressed,
that you feel like almost nothyperventilating but you just
feel like there's not any spaceto breathe.
Do you practice the bellybreathing?
(14:20):
Over time You'll notice thatwhen your breath changes it
would be quite hard to do bellybreathing all the time, but it
does.
Yeah, being conscious, doing itwill help you at times in your
subconscious.
You will do it at some times.
But you probably just don'trealise that when you're relaxed
you're probably belly breathing, but you won't be consciously
(14:43):
paying attention to your breath.
Carrie Lingenfelter (14:44):
So when you notice it more, it'll start to
calm you when you're breathingthat's good to know and I think
with a lot of the kids who areneurodiverse sometimes it can
come with a core weakness, so alot of the kiddos go to ot and
pt for the core.
Does that affect our breathingtoo?
Natasha Iregbu (15:06):
the core weakness yeah, yeah yeah, not.
So I don't know that much aboutfor the kids, for the core, but
I know that even for for mums.
A lot of the exercisespostpartum are based on and and
developing that core strength.
I went to Pilates postpartumPilates and a lot of it was
(15:29):
based on posture, your core andbreathing combined, because if
you've not got a strong core, itaffects your, your back, and
then you might not feel theconnection between your core as
well.
If you've had it depends can beeither either type of birth
depend.
If you've got any separation,then you might not be able to
(15:50):
feel very much.
So, yeah, building the and thenyou wouldn't realize the
connection between your breathas well as your breath, belly
breathing.
Carrie Lingenfelter (15:58):
So it does all connects that makes so much
sense, because consciousbreathing is when you're having
the moments postpartum thatmakes so much sense, or even
like when I have big kids andneeding to have moments of
breath.
If you're not strong in thecore and not able to get there,
then that can make it so muchharder to calm your body and
(16:21):
stay connected.
Natasha Iregbu (16:22):
Yeah, ground yeah, and a lot of times people
kids and adults will be liketense in your stomach as well.
Beginning of, like, my yogaclasses usually start with a
breath awareness and before I dothe breath awareness, I ask
people to close their eyes orlower their gaze and notice
where they can feel tense intheir body, because a lot of
(16:44):
time you, when you're justsitting down, you might be
unconsciously holding your bellyin and not fully relaxing your
belly.
So invite them to relax yourbelly, relax your shoulders,
your jaw and your forehead,because those are points that a
lot of the time don't realise,that your shoulders might feel
really tense and it's justrelaxing them down or if you're
(17:06):
constantly holding your stomachin, just letting it relax and
your jaw as well if you're tensein it.
It's just a thing that whenyou're stressed, just carrying a
physical reaction that you'recarrying that stress and even
just relaxing those differentpoints in your body can help you
(17:27):
feel more present and relaxedis that something that you can
teach kids too?
Carrie Lingenfelter (17:34):
I feel like I've heard, even from the
dentist, that my daughter she'ssuper sensitive and going
through a super sensitive momentand she's been grinding in her
teeth yep or if they're having amoment.
I can hear them going with theteeth or I see the hands
clenched sometimes yeah, yeah.
Natasha Iregbu (17:52):
So even just asking her, it might even be
that she doesn't realize thatshe's like grinding her teeth.
It might just be an unconsciouscoping strategy.
So you could even ask her justto if she's in a moment that
she's like grinding her teeth,it might just be an unconscious
coping strategy.
So you could even ask her justto, if she's in a moment that
she's not like fully heightened.
Or especially, try themindfulness techniques when
children are calm, because thenthey learn it when they're calm
(18:13):
and then over time they can thenuse them when they are
dysregulated.
So when she's calm you can trya short mindfulness activity so
you can just ask her to sit downand to she can be just sitting
comfortably and then ask her tonotice how she's feeling in her
body and ask her just to see ifthere's anywhere that feels it
(18:39):
feels tight.
And she might be like likethat's all stiff and then she
might.
Then you say, oh, there's tight.
She might like just naturallyrelax and then you can prompt by
saying are you holding yourstomach in, are you holding your
tummy in?
And if you are, see if you canrelax your tummy and then relax
(18:59):
your hands, your shoulders.
Do they feel like they're closeto your ears or do they feel
uncomfortable, and you can askher to wiggle her shoulders and
just relax her shoulders downand then move into the jaw.
You can say relax your tongue,because your tongue is not
something that you think aboutrelaxing either.
So you could say, like yourtongue rests and your jaws and
(19:23):
then your forehead, and thenhave a neutral, our face will
just be fully relaxed.
And then you can ask her totake a few deep breaths.
So you could ask her to take adeep breath in and count,
counting to four on the deepbreath in, and then slowly
exhale, and she could exhale foreight or any number.
(19:46):
That depends on each individualperson.
Some people can hold theirbreath in for longer and out
longer, so you can, as long asthe exhale is longer than the
inhale, and that helps to relaxI love that.
Carrie Lingenfelter (20:00):
I'm going to try that with her when she's
going to bed after we've readour story.
We've been doing like guidedmeditations and type of
grounding and releasing energyfrom the day.
So I feel like that would be areally great one to incorporate
into that moment for her.
Natasha Iregbu (20:16):
Yeah.
Does she like meditations?
Has she tried meditations liketry meditations, like guided
meditations audios before?
Does she like listening to them?
Carrie Lingenfelter (20:24):
I haven't done the guided ones, I've just
done the ones that I do with her.
Sometimes I do based off ofwhat she loves.
I'll do like a princess onewith castles and things, or
lately we've been having a lotof nightmares.
We just, I, started doing likean energy work, one where we're
bringing our energy from thecore of the earth up to her and
spreading it throughout her bodyand then sending any negative
(20:47):
feelings or big feelings fromthe day into the earth.
So we've been trying to do that.
Natasha Iregbu (20:53):
Yeah, that sounds like a relaxing bedtime
routine.
Carrie Lingenfelter (20:58):
It has this last weekend it didn't really
help.
Natasha Iregbu (21:09):
I've got a short kid's meditation routine.
It has this last weekend.
It didn't really help.
I think it's only four minutesor four and a half minutes so I
can send you the link.
It's on my website if anyone'sinterested.
But it's a free kids yoga nidrameditation and it's.
I've recorded it a while.
I think it's like a jungle.
I think it's a jungle, a forest.
It's a forest meditation.
So Yoga Nidra is it's notmindfulness, it's separate to
mindfulness, but you are stillbeing present.
But there's different aspectsto Yoga Nidra.
(21:30):
It takes you through differentlevels of awareness of your body
.
So it's similar to Reiki how itgoes through different levels
of your body.
Yoga Nidra there'sothers forthe kids ones, because it's
quite the one I've got.
I wrote the script and createdit myself.
It's quite short, but thenthere's varying lessons for kids
and adults and it's basicallythe end result is to help you
(21:54):
fully, deeply relax, becauseyou're relaxing all levels of
your body from.
You're relaxing your physicalbody, your mental and emotional
body and, yeah, physical, mental, emotional, yeah, all different
layers of the body to helpthat's great.
Carrie Lingenfelter (22:15):
I will check that on your website and
we'll put your website in theshow notes too, because yoga
nidra, you had mentioned that,that's really yeah to try, so
moms can do it as well, orparents yeah as well.
Natasha Iregbu (22:26):
Yeah, yeah, it's a good practice, for usually
for adults, around 20 to 30minutes is a good beginner.
Yoga nidra what is yourfavourite type of meditation?
There are different elements toan adult's one.
There's counting andvisualisations, breath awareness
(22:49):
.
It's my favourite type ofmeditation.
I like mindfulness and do moreeveryday mindfulness, practical
mindfulness and some mindfulnessbreathing.
But if I want to have a longerduration of relaxation, yoga
Nidra is my go-to.
(23:09):
It's said that around 20-30minutes of Yoga Nidra is as
restorative as two hours ofsleep.
So you don't fully sleep, butyour body goes into the liminal,
the state of kind of like whenyou're about to fall asleep or
when you're just waking up, thatkind of hazy feeling.
(23:33):
During Yoga Nidra you're inthat state, so it restores your
body and your energy.
So it's very good for mums whodon't have much sleep or just,
yeah, feeling a bit stressed andjust need some relaxation time
what's your favorite thing totell parents when they're
starting out on a mindfulnessjourney?
Carrie Lingenfelter (23:54):
or what's your favorite tip or ideas where
do you like?
Natasha Iregbu (23:58):
to start or share share, to not feel
overwhelmed or to feel that youneed a lot of time to practice
mindfulness that can be broughtinto everyday moments that you
don't have to carve out a longamount of time every day, like
every day to practice.
It can be brought into theactivities, like if you're like
(24:21):
washing dishes or doinghousework, you can bring your
full attention to the process ofwashing the dishes, like
watching the water, using thesponge or the brush or even
stacking the dishwasher, justbringing your full attention to
that activity.
And when your mind jumps fromdifferent thoughts, just try to
(24:43):
not delve into the thoughts andbring your attention back to the
activity and that will help you.
If your thoughts thinking, oh,I need to go and clip the kids
or I need to hoover and to doloads of different things, just
focusing on that one activitycan help your mind slow down and
you can practice that at anypoint yeah, I love that.
Carrie Lingenfelter (25:07):
We think we need two hours of self-care to
recharge washing the dishes.
It's funny you bring that oneup, because that is probably one
of my moments where I reallyjust focus on what I'm doing and
when I walk away from washingthe dishes I feel like recharged
in that moment.
Natasha Iregbu (25:24):
Yeah, yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (25:26):
So that's one of my favorites.
Yeah, it's so hard.
I don't know about overseas.
If it's the same in the US, Ifeel like we always.
It's all over Instagram.
It's like how to use the mostof your day, multitasking, and
there's always tips and pointersabout doing two or three things
at once.
And so I love what you'resaying.
(25:48):
I feel like our culture tendsto go the opposite.
Natasha Iregbu (25:52):
Yeah, it's the same in the UK as well.
You're trying to fit as muchinto short amounts of time,
which is useful in some aspectsif you're wanting to completely
try and get a lot.
If you're working, you want tofocus and doing like 20 minutes
and then have the pomerodo Ithink it's called pomodoro yeah,
(26:12):
I'm not pronouncing thispomodoro technique or method and
that's.
I find that quite useful andit's, yeah, 20 minutes of
focused activity and then having, I think, five or ten minutes
as a break and then continuedoing that.
That's a good productivity hackfor working.
But yeah, I do agree that it canbe hard when there's so many
(26:35):
different things that you'reconsuming as well, because a lot
of times it's hard to know.
It's hard for mums especiallyto connect to themselves because
they're thinking about theirkids, or when you're not
thinking about your kids and yougo on social media and then
scroll and then you're consumingwhat everyone else is saying
(26:58):
and then maybe entering intocomparison and then it just ends
up in a big loop and you neveractually have time to or create
time to connect to your ownintuition and oneself yeah, yeah
.
Carrie Lingenfelter (27:18):
I think that's so important and it's so
important we're modeling it forour kids because if we're here,
if society is at this point fromwhere it was when you and I
were little I don't know, I waslittle in like the 80s, early
90s I can't imagine where it'sgoing to be in 20 years or 30
years from now yeah, I know.
Natasha Iregbu (27:39):
Yeah, it's scary to think what, or even 10 years
, how things are going to.
Yeah, be be different for kids.
Yeah I hope that there are more,because mindfulness and yoga
are so well known about now andso many different people try it,
that children, more children,are interested in doing it and
if they see their parentspracticing mindfulness or going
(28:02):
to yoga, they'll then copy themor be interested and ask
questions about what what it isto help their own well-being.
I'm not sure in the us do theyhave?
I know I see it because Ifollow people on instagram.
They have like yoga classes andthings, but do they have the
schools?
Do any?
Do they have like mindfulnessor yoga things in school?
Carrie Lingenfelter (28:24):
I think that yoga is a big piece, so we
switched our kids over to acharter school.
So it's not the regular schooland its focus is social and
emotional.
So they do a lot of mindfulness.
There's even like littleaffirmations that my kids came
home with recently in firstgrade and third grade yeah, it's
been really cool that is good.
Natasha Iregbu (28:45):
Yeah, it'd be amazing if that was in in all
schools that they're.
I know their social emotionallearning is within schools, but
it'd be good if it was like anallocated amount of time every
day.
That was like for 15 minutesevery day.
We're going to do somemindfulness activities or
well-being activities.
Carrie Lingenfelter (29:06):
Make a difference yeah, I think there's
this push in American cultureto get your kids into an
activity, so they have anactivity like every day, and so
I try to choose one or maybe twoat the most activities for my
kids, so they do have the downdays where they can just play
and get into.
For my son it's like he gets inthe flow state playing with his
(29:27):
Legos, or my daughter gets inthe flow state with coloring and
writing, and so, yeah, givingthem that downtime.
Natasha Iregbu (29:34):
Yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (29:34):
But I think , even if parents are not able
to cut back on activities orthey're busy in their lives, I
think for us recently I've beenthinking about like when we're
eating I've been telling thekids let's slow down, let's look
at our plate, let's say I havea moment of gratitude, thank you
to this food for nourishing mybody and giving me the energy
(29:56):
that I need for myself.
So thank you.
So just even just having thatlittle moment to maybe think
about like food and what it doesfor our bodies and yeah,
mindful eating is quite a yeah agood practice for for kids.
Natasha Iregbu (30:12):
Even just to notice that, then, with the
sense, bringing the senses intomindful eating at mealtimes is
good as well.
Like noticing what's on yourplate and different colours, and
then when you're, it smellswith the food and different
tastes and textures as well.
When you're chewing, noticewhat is it?
(30:34):
Something smooth or spicy, likedifferent, yeah, different,
yeah, different senses withinmeal times can help slow down.
So sometimes it can be ifyou've got something to go to
after or you've just had a busyday, it can be easy just to like
we'll just sit down and justeat quickly, but just to slow
(30:55):
down at dinner time, to justfully, even as a family because
I know that some families haveall the same meal and our
families might have differentmeals but even if they're at
different meals, you can stillpractice the mindfulness
activity together, noticingwhat's on your plate and, yeah,
what colors.
Can you see?
What?
(31:15):
What smells, how does it?
The food tastes?
Carrie Lingenfelter (31:19):
it's salty, sweet, smooth, spicy, cold,
yeah yeah, that's, and you know,what's really interesting is a
lot of the things that you'redoing in the tools that you're
using go along with feedingtherapy.
It's what the occupationaltherapists and the speech
therapists do with kids that aremore picky eaters.
So with your tiny one whenyou're doing that.
(31:40):
I think, you have a little guy.
So when you're doing all ofthose things, I did that when my
kids were your kiddos age.
Natasha Iregbu (31:47):
And.
Carrie Lingenfelter (31:48):
I still do that Sometimes, we do for fun.
If I'm like are you, is yourbody ready for a challenge?
Let's close your eyes.
And I'm going to put one thingon your plate, in your mouth,
and I want you to tell me whichone it is.
Natasha Iregbu (31:59):
and so my kids will do that to each other now,
like playing around when we'reeating yeah, I used to.
When I worked with kids in ayouth center, they used to do
taste tests with them and theyalways loved taste tests.
They used to do with differentcrusts or different fruits and
we'd cover the bowl and they hadto taste it, and then it was
like a mindfulness activity, butit was.
(32:20):
They had to guess the flavor.
So it helped them slow down andeven if they didn't like it, at
least you've tasted it and youcan then recognize the different
flavors.
Carrie Lingenfelter (32:29):
And yeah, it's interesting to know because
I've not had any experienceworking with occupational
therapists like directly, soit's interesting that there
there's that overlap yeah, yeah,it's really cool a lot of I'm
realizing, like so many of thestrategies that OTs teach our
(32:49):
kids when they're trying toregulate help regulate the
systems yeah so many of it, somuch of it overlaps with
mindfulness yeah and even somepieces of spirituality overlaps
with mindfulness, and even somepieces of spirituality come in
with the mindful.
All these pieces are allintertwined.
(33:13):
And you see so much growth inthese highly sensitive kids or
neurodiverse kids or just reallygifted and talented kids coming
in.
So it's really fun to see allthat growth.
No-transcript, carrie, I am theslowest eater at work oh wow, I
(33:49):
was like yeah, I guess in thecorporate world it's eat right
inhale your lunch and then getback to work.
Yeah, it's hard.
So I'm like, yeah, think ofwhere everybody would be
creatively if we all sat down toeat and decompressed for a
(34:10):
minute.
I know there's a lot of busymoms.
I'll say something like when Isit down and have a moment and
eat.
I'll do that a lot, even whenI'm eating by myself at home as
a working mom at home yeahthere's a lot of moms that are
like you, sit down and eat.
Natasha Iregbu (34:23):
I'm like, yes, you have to do that for your
body even if you're by yourselflike, just sit down and eat yeah
, and I think, just from havinglike the family if you are with
your family as well, it's goodto try and have that as like
quality time as well, and tryingto model that with maybe boys
will just always sit down andeat together to yeah, to the
(34:48):
kind of almost like a socialthing as well, that they're
learning, that's what they doand that's uh, that eating can
be a social, yeah, social skillas well yeah, I think the
biggest takeaway today for me isyou don't need to have two
hours, you can do yourmindfulness as you go.
Carrie Lingenfelter (35:07):
Is there any last thoughts you have with
the mindful pieces for busyfamilies?
Natasha Iregbu (35:12):
I'd say those are the main tips.
I'll see if I'll have a thinkif there's anything else.
Isn't the kindness element aswell?
That is, if you do notice thatyou get frustrated.
I know that sometimes whenyou're starting something like a
meditation or mindfulnesspractice, it can almost be like
a challenge.
It could be good to get started, but if it starts feeling a bit
(35:33):
difficult or maybe not have thetime to do it, it can then turn
into, oh, I should be doing it,and it becomes like a something
that you should be doing ratherthan something that you want to
do or try and practice.
So, just remembering to be kindto yourself and remember that
it's it's an ongoing journey.
It's not something that youjust start and you think, oh, I
need to do this for 10 minutesevery day.
(35:55):
That you can every day isdifferent.
You can do one minute one day,half an hour the next day.
It just, yeah, depends.
And be kind to to yourself andtry not to put any pressure on
yourself to do everything yes, Ilove that.
Carrie Lingenfelter (36:11):
I remember when I was little, my
grandmother she was veryspiritual and I remember her
speaking to herself like okay,yolanda, you got this, you can
figure this out, like you can dothis.
So I love the idea of modeling.
Okay, carrie, you can figureout this computer program, you
can build this website.
Try again.
Like modeling that in front ofour kids when we're trying hard
(36:33):
things yeah, yeah, definitelyyeah, I recently was saying I
would like to talk to myself orto see myself the way that my
husband or my mom see me,because they see me in such a
different version compared towhat I see myself like or how I
speak to myself yeah, yeah, Ithink that's a lot of people.
Natasha Iregbu (36:56):
Yeah, I do that sometimes as well.
I'm like why am I being mean tomyself?
It's not until you realise thatyou're putting so much pressure
on yourself that when you stop,you're like I wouldn't be
putting all this pressure onsomebody else or telling them
that you should be doing this oryou're not doing enough.
It is challenging to try andswitch it back over to yourself,
(37:19):
but it's worth doing it, yeahyeah, even if it's little by
little.
Carrie Lingenfelter (37:23):
I think after this I'm gonna go write a
sticky note and put it on mymirror for myself, like words of
motivation for myself and thenfor my kids.
Natasha Iregbu (37:30):
I'll do it too, or I might have them write their
own and put it on the mirroryeah, I think affirmations are
good, but you were saying thatyour, yeah, your kids got
affirmations from school.
I've got.
I recently made a digital kidsgratitude journal.
It's 365 days, but it's not gotdates in it, so they can start
and do it anytime, and each dayit's they can write or draw or
(37:51):
both three different things.
Three things people or placesthat they're grateful for and at
the beginning of the journalthere's a breathing exercise.
It's called infinity breathingor lazy eight breathing.
It's the infinity symbol andthey trace their finger around
it, breathing in and out.
And then it's got the gratitudepractice and at the end of each
(38:14):
week there's differentaffirmations as well to affirm
the gratitude.
I think affirmations are goodfor all ages, to remind yourself
of how you are as a person.
Other people probably say oh,carrie's so confident and then
(38:35):
just tell yourself that I amconfident.
Carrie Lingenfelter (38:37):
I am, and often yeah, yes, I love that.
I'm going to go check that out.
So your gratitude journal forthe kids.
The download is that on yourwebsite as well.
Natasha Iregbu (38:52):
Yeah, so the meditation's free, and then the
journal is.
I don't know what it's indollars, but yeah, times okay,
how cool.
Carrie Lingenfelter (39:02):
That's a great idea.
So, yeah, we have your websiteand then we'll include that in
the show notes.
And there's something else Iwas going to say with it, but I
don't remember right now.
So thanks so much, natasha, forspending your time with us and
sharing all these mindful ideasso we can walk out as mindful
people.
Natasha Iregbu (39:22):
It's nice chatting to you.
I forgot to mention as well.
Yeah, I've got two Instagrampages.
One page is my Butterfly Minds,but the other Instagram page is
also an author as well.
So I've got two kids'mindfulness books and one is
Mindful Living for Parents twokids mindfulness books and one
is mindful living for parents.
So they're all mindfulnessthrough storytelling to help
(39:43):
reach more children and familieswith mindfulness.
The kids ones are introductionsto mindfulness, like
mindfulness of essences andactivity pages on social and
emotional activities, and in theparents is mindfulness within
everyday, everyday life throughthrough stories and different
reflection activities andbeautiful what?
Carrie Lingenfelter (40:05):
what were the name of your books?
That's amazing.
Natasha Iregbu (40:08):
My first book is called slow down amaya and
that's um.
Maya's a butterfly who's gotadhd and she's very excitable
and she learns how to slow downwith mindfulness.
And the second book she meetsSammy, who's a sunflower and
he's autistic, so they becomefriends.
And in the second book is SlowDown Sammy, so it's focused on
(40:31):
Sammy and how mindfulness canhelp with worries and anxiety.
So Maya teaches him the5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique to
help let go of worries.
Carrie Lingenfelter (40:43):
Beautiful.
I love that my kids are.
Since we have late start today,my kids are both downstairs
watching Stillwater.
I don't know if you've everheard of Stillwater, so there's
a book series.
It's a panda named Stillwater.
I can't remember what the nameof this series are, but there's
several.
There's three or four booksthat talk about mindfulness
practices, and then Apple TVmade it into a little TV series
(41:06):
and it's called Stillwater isthe name of the panda.
He's mindful, so it might bereally cool with your son.
Natasha Iregbu (41:12):
Yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (41:13):
Peaceful Piggy is another one of our
favorite ones too.
Natasha Iregbu (41:16):
Oh, I'm gonna tell it goes up, thank you.
Yeah, thank you so much,natasha.
Carrie Lingenfelter (41:20):
You too, thank you.
Well, that's a wrap.
Thanks so much for tuning in.
Changemakers.
This is Keri, and if youhaven't done a review for us,
five stars and a little fewwords about what you've enjoyed
in our podcast episodes, wewould really appreciate it.
If you guys would like to evermessage me, I would love any
questions you have or anyfeedback.
(41:41):
At info at hearttoheartlifecom.
We also have a brand newwebsite which we're super
excited to share.
It's hearttoheartlifecom.
Thanks so much for tuning inand happy life, happy times.
Changemaker families.
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Have you ever wondered what life might be like if you stopped worrying about being wanted, and focused on understanding what you actually want? That was the question Hope Woodard asked herself after a string of situationships inspired her to take a break from sex and dating. She went "boysober," a personal concept that sparked a global movement among women looking to prioritize themselves over men. Now, Hope is looking to expand the ways we explore our relationship to relationships. Taking a bold, unfiltered look into modern love, romance, and self-discovery, Boysober will dive into messy stories about dating, sex, love, friendship, and breaking generational patterns—all with humor, vulnerability, and a fresh perspective.
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