April 16, 2025 • 40 mins
The journey of motherhood often awakens dormant spiritual gifts and sensitivities that transform how we parent. Maria Adlam, host of the Soulful Mamas podcast, shares her remarkable evolution from seeing unexplained lights as a child to becoming a Reiki practitioner after her children's health challenges guided her toward energy healing.
Maria introduces us to the powerful concept of the "sacred pause" – a simple breath practice that helps parents respond from heartfelt presence rather than reactive thinking. This pause creates space for intuition to emerge before we interact with our children during challenging moments. The seemingly simple act of conscious breathing allows parents to regulate themselves first, creating a container of calm that naturally supports children's emotional needs without unnecessary questioning or fixing.
For today's highly sensitive children, whom Maria describes as "coming in awake," these spiritual practices provide essential tools. The conversation explores how children naturally absorb and integrate spiritual concepts when presented as normal aspects of family life – from Maria finding her children spontaneously giving each other Reiki treatments to teaching them visualization techniques for energy protection.
Perhaps most valuable is Maria's insight into teaching children discernment through what she calls "sacred yes" and "sacred no" decisions. By helping sensitive children tune into their authentic inner knowing, parents empower them to honor their boundaries while remaining kind and true to themselves. These simple yet profound spiritual tools become resources children can carry throughout their lives, helping them navigate an increasingly complex world with confidence and clarity.
Try these practices with your family this week and notice how the simple act of pausing and breathing together can transform challenging moments into opportunities for deeper connection. What spiritual techniques have you found most helpful in your parenting journey?
Connect with Maria Adlam:
*Parenting with Soul Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/27OGCEYByykV7XAi1J7FkS?si=3jQHjbpbS1-BxLaRXPpW-g&nd=1&dlsi=b7241f1c7e1a4529
*Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parenting_with_soul/
*Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/934624827805325/
New! Conscious Family Travels Channel on YouTube with Carrie:
https://www.youtube.com/@consciousfamilytravels
Connect with Carrie:
*Website: https://hearttoheartlife.com/
*Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespiritualparent
*YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpiritualParent
*Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/The-Spiritual-Parent/61554482625081
*Email: info@hearttoheartlife.com
**Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is educational in nature and does not constitute licensed mental health advice. If you need such advice, you should speak with a licensed professional about your unique situation. Thanks so much happy listeners.
© 2024 Heart to Heart Life LLC
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Maria Adlam (00:05):
I do something I call the sacred pause and it's
just basically taking a breathto recenter so that I can
regulate myself and then be ableto support, offer that support
to whoever the children is, andhold that space.
So if my energy field isfeeling calm and I'm coming from
(00:28):
the heart, and then if anywords need to come out, those
words are coming from the heart,not the head, because then we
from the head, we want to, weoverthink it, we want to fix it,
we want to ask other questionswhat do you need?
What happened?
Who did?
What should I call someone?
We do when we can just breatheand from the come from the heart
(00:50):
, and it doesn't have to alwaysbe words, it can just be how, a
gesture of how we're holding ourown body.
Carrie Lingenfelter (00:58):
Yeah, a bit , or yeah, it's the simple
subtle things I've found comingon working with children are and
(01:20):
teaching your kids how to dothat along the way.
Join us Hi there, happylisteners.
It's Keri here and I'm soexcited I have a new project
called Conscious Family Travelson YouTube.
It's all about mindfullytraveling with our highly
sensitive kids.
We love to give tips and toolsabout how you can pack, how you
can prepare traveling withdietary restrictions.
(01:43):
We love to share in-depthguides of certain areas that we
are traveling to, as well assome of the actual items that we
use along our journey.
So join us on this ConsciousFamily Travels journey.
Hi there and welcome back.
It's Keri, your friendly,intuitive mama here, and I'm so
(02:03):
excited I get to connect withsomebody.
I was recently on her podcastand now I get to have the gift
of having her on ours.
So we have Maria Adlim withSoulful Mamas podcast here today
and you guys have to check outher podcast if you haven't yet.
Thanks, Maria, for being here.
Maria Adlam (02:22):
Thank you, Carrie.
Thank you for having me.
It's lovely to see you.
Carrie Lingenfelter (02:26):
Yeah, I'm so excited.
I love connecting with you andit's so fun to talk about our
spiritual tools and where it'staken us with motherhood, and I
wanted to jump right in and askyou if you've always been
spiritual or if that's somethingthat you've expanded on after
becoming a mom.
Maria Adlam (02:44):
Yeah, it's an interesting one, isn't it?
I think, like many people, as achild I was very in tune and
aware, but I didn't have anyguidance, anyone to say, oh,
that's okay, that's this orthat's that, say, oh, that's
(03:07):
okay, that's this or that's that, and.
And so when I would?
I remember I still rememberasking my mum what are these big
lights or orbs in the room?
And she just said, oh, you musthave just been looking at the
light funny, your eyes are justadjusting.
And I just so.
Every time there was a, becauseshe didn't know herself.
So she just said never came.
And so little bit by little bit,I shut it down and the
(03:28):
curiosity and the wonder of whatis it?
I remember my best friend and Iwere used to just always
imagine what was out beyond inspace, the stars, and it was not
just a little child wondering,it was a almost like a
remembering interesting.
When her and I connected, wehad these big conversations
wondering.
It was a almost like aremembering interesting.
When her and I connected, wehad these big conversations, but
(03:49):
it was just two children really, and without any adult guidance
.
So no going into teenage land.
It all shut down and itprobably it would keep popping
up late teens, early 20s there'dbe.
I was forever drawn to, youknow, crystals and if there's a
(04:09):
spiritual fear in town.
And I didn't really know whyand it wasn't until I had a very
dear friend pass away in a caraccident and it really rocked my
world.
It's probably early 20s and hecame back to me in a dream and
it was so real it was, it waslike he was just.
(04:32):
It was like he was here.
It didn't feel like a dream andhe said I've come back, I'm
here to tell you that it's okay.
I'm okay Because I was in my, Ithink, my, last year of
university and I was strugglingbecause I lost my Nana and then
him and I just what is this allabout?
(04:54):
Losing two important people inyour life?
And he just said I'm okay andfrom that it was like this
weight was lifted off myshoulders.
I couldn't explain it.
And then I went on to finishthat year.
I did well and I was okay.
I was actually okay.
He said he gave me this gift ofpeace.
I didn't really understand it,but it felt right and good.
(05:17):
And when I got in my firstteaching job the following year,
this mum happened to be.
I didn't know anything reallyabout that, but I don't know how
she started.
We got talking and I told herabout this dream, and I told
nobody about this dream, really,because no one.
Yeah, and she said do you know?
(05:40):
There's such a stress, such aneed to receive it, because that
was his way of you're like at acrossroads and you can make a
choice as to what path you'regoing to go, but allow these
losses to inform and influenceyour life and take this path and
(06:03):
not finish university orwhatever or no.
Go on and do what you're hereto do and here your life and
take this path and not finishuniversity or whatever or no.
Go on and do what you're hereto do and here you are.
So that was, that was my firstknowing of.
Yes, it's, there's somethinggreater than me and I don't
understand it, but it's thereand it feels right and true and
then fast forward probably nottill I had children that it
(06:25):
really expanded when I raced it.
Carrie Lingenfelter (06:27):
No, so yeah what do you think it is about
us becoming mothers that helpsus to expand into it again.
I love that you connected withit again in your 20s and then it
was quiet again for you.
It comes out when you need it.
Maria Adlam (06:42):
It sounds yeah yeah , it's like a portal and you're
going from the space and stageof maiden, so this, into mother.
And it's such a rite of passagethat I do feel that we it needs
to be honored and respected waymore than it is, and understood
even this passage from maideninto this journey of motherhood.
(07:08):
And it is like you're crossinga threshold, you're into this,
go through this portal, thatbirth portal, into something.
You come out and you're not thesame, you're a different
version of you and there's ahonoring and appreciation of
that time before children, as inthose maiden years, and then
(07:32):
stepping into this fullness ofwhat motherhood looks like.
And it is an opening, it's amini awakening, if you like.
Yeah, and I think, if we're toreally be honest, all of us
mothers would feel there's ashift, there's definitely a
change, and it's just how muchyou're supported and guided
(07:54):
through that, as to whether youmight push it down or soldier on
or I can do it on my own,there's all of that.
But I do remember with my sonwhen he was born Now his is a
different story, but it's a bigstory his coming into the world,
(08:15):
but when he was I don't knowhow old, a few, maybe three or
four months old, a bit olderperhaps he would get little
chest problem not problems, justthat was his area where he'd
get.
If he had a cold, it wouldsometimes go to his chest and I
just I didn't understand it, butI always had this feeling when
(08:38):
he had something wrong with hischest, my hands would warm up
and I just felt like I justneeded to place my hands on his
chest and I didn't know why andI thought is this just me?
In my as a mama, this is I justfeel like I need to, because we
do.
When you hurt yourself, if youbang your head, you put your
hands into that place, onto thatplace, but I just my hands
(09:01):
would heat up and I would justfeel like I needed to go and I
had this.
It's like a remembering or aknowing that I can help them.
But then I have the ego mindsaying who do you think you are?
You can't have, what do youknow?
And so I was very much andagain I didn't say anything,
(09:25):
didn't really talk about that.
And it wasn't until I had mydaughter, who had even bigger
challenges health-wise, where Idiscovered Reiki.
Somebody said have you triedReiki?
Because I've tried alldifferent things and I said I've
got no idea what that is, but Iam willing and open to find and
try anything.
(09:45):
And when I did, when I met myteacher I can't even describe
the feeling throughout my body.
It was like a homecoming it'slike finally, it was incredible,
incredible, and that was thethat's when the door really
flung open and it was like, yeah, then I really stepped into
(10:08):
this world of where I think I,my soul, has been trying to lead
me to.
Okay, she's not listening,let's try this way, let's try
this way.
You just have to have theseexperiences along the journey.
But, yeah, once I learnt I wentto this woman for Reiki for my
(10:29):
daughter, I thought, but reallyit was for myself.
And yeah, I did the trainingand that was, and that feeling.
So when I did that firsttraining, the feeling in my
hands, and then I remembered Iknow this feeling, I've had this
before.
Yes, yeah, and that was thereall along, but it just wasn't
(10:51):
refined and understood.
Yeah, reiki is probably likethat gateway, yes, motherhood,
that portal, stepping into thatand then discovering Reiki and
then, but also having the peoplestarting together, being in
community or just finding thementors and the teachers and
(11:12):
those beautiful little guidesalong the way, that support, and
it feels true and aligned,because my soul was just doing
the happy dance.
That feeling was so good.
Yeah, I have so many things Iwant to ask you, because my soul
was just doing the heavy dance.
Carrie Lingenfelter (11:25):
It was so good.
Yeah, I have so many things Iwant to ask you that come with
your story.
The first thing that bubbled upin me when you were telling us
at the beginning, when we saythere's these challenges that
can come at the beginning ofbeing a mom, and how we start to
have that mama intuition andthat connection, that spiritual
(11:47):
connection that we start to feelin us and it's like when we
just receive that spiritualconnection and we're open to it,
it's such a change for us as amom versus living in it.
Right, the ego mind I can dothis and it's like I can be the
perfect mom in this box of whatmoms need to be.
(12:09):
So that bubbled up in me.
I love that.
One thing I was thinking whenyou were talking about the three
month, three or four month.
I had that exact same timelinewhere I had things shift with my
kids as well.
It was I had told you on yourpodcast when my daughter used to
sleep on me and she would onlynap on me.
It was at three to four monthswhere I was doing Reiki on
(12:30):
myself and on herself to get herto detach from me long enough
to nap in her own littlebassinet.
So it was around that same ageand it was also
around that age for my firstkiddo, my son, when I started to
follow his cues instead ofbeing the charge of my own cues
and thinking, like he has to napat this time, he has to eat at
(12:53):
this time.
This is the schedule.
These are the eight sleepdevices.
Because he can't sleep with mein the bed, that's what American
culture says.
He has to sleep in the bassinet.
That's what's safe, and it wasaround that time that I went
release it, be yourself, connect, and it was those spiritual
people around me that helped meto get there.
So we love that power ofcommunity that you mentioned.
Maria Adlam (13:15):
Yeah, because it's so empowering to have that
support, because, going throughso many people, so many women do
have a disempowering journeybirth journey or into their
parenting journey and it's whenthey feel within themselves what
(13:35):
is right and true and what theywould like to do for themselves
, for their family, but societyand whatever shape or form that
looks like, it could bewell-intending family and
friends.
It could be the ads on thetelevision saying buy this, do
this, do-do-do-do-do, and wejust get so overwhelmed with all
the information and all theconflicting advice and we forget
(13:59):
to tune in to our own innerknowing, because we know we
already we do know and whatresonates with you and I might
not for somebody else, andthat's okay.
We're not all meant to beexactly the same cookie cutter,
but we have to find the thingthat does speak to us and which
means stepping more into ourpower of finding our voice and
(14:21):
advocating for our children andourselves in that way.
Carrie Lingenfelter (14:24):
And I don't know if it's as popular in New
Zealand, where you live, becauseI'm in Colorado, us.
I'm finding that so manyspiritually connected people are
starting to really talk aboutthe kids coming in today.
So I have an almostseven-year-old daughter and an
almost 10-year-old son.
You'll have to remind me howold your kiddos are again
(14:48):
Curious what your thoughts are,because you were also a teacher
before.
What your ideas are on thesekids coming in today, what their
gifts look like, but sometimestheir challenges or heightened
sensitivity feels, and also, ifyou, what your thoughts are on
the idea of the star seeds Idon't know if you've talked
about.
Maria Adlam (15:04):
yeah so my children are 13 and 15 well, actually
nearly 13.
She's in about two weeks timeshe's going to be 13.
So she's all about.
I'm really a teenager, yeah.
So when I was teaching, yeah,it definitely has.
It's interesting.
(15:26):
So when I started teaching, Iwas in New Zealand for a few
years.
Then we moved to the UK and Iworked in London for seven,
eight years, in all differenttypes of schooling, yeah, and
all different areas.
So, from the high-rise estatebuildings Children never go
outside to some of the mostwealthy families in the city.
(15:50):
So there was such a contrast.
But so I mainly taught year one, so six, between five and seven
, that age group and what Ifound was it did not matter if
they had come from nothing money, wise, or even here or if they
(16:12):
had everything the cook, themaid, the driver, the tutor but
everything they had everything.
The essence is they're stillchildren.
Their little hearts and soulsare the same and their needs are
the same, and we, there'ssomething within them that needs
(16:34):
to be met on a deeper level.
So I used to always tell this,so in the private schools when I
was working in there, and theywould be all prim and proper and
they had their little ties on.
They were all cute, but theywould be.
The expectation from some of thefamilies was they're going to
do this and I want them to be atthis level and I'm already
paying for this tutoring, and sofor me it was intuitively I
(16:58):
felt like they still need to bechildren.
They're still only six yearsold and they need to still be
able to access that imaginationand that sense of wonderment and
play and they can learn andgrow and evolve into who they
are as a person through that.
And so the children in theestate blocks that didn't have
(17:20):
anything, they can find theirimagination, even if it's just
literally sticks and stones thatthey're finding.
And then these other children.
It's the same thing, and Iremember telling a story.
If you speak through story tochildren, you can capture them,
and we were learning about mapsand different treasure maps and
(17:42):
different things.
And so I created this story andI made this old treasure map and
burnt the edges and I said itwas discovered by my grandfather
.
And so I took them on thisjourney and all these different
things, and it didn't matter.
I told the story to whoever itwas, even the prim and proper
children that like questioneverything.
(18:03):
And my dad says this they hadtheir eyes would open up in
wonderment and they have it up.
I think I remember one littleboy putting his hand up.
I thought, oh my gosh, he'sgoing to call me out on this,
saying this is BS, it's not true.
And he said back then I wascalled Miss Jack.
Miss Jack, I've got it.
(18:24):
I can see there's a little.
I think it was bushland orforest or something.
And he goes I think there's anX in there, I think that's where
the treasure was.
And because he was fullyengaged in this math and this
story, the whole class was.
And so I realized I could havetaught that lesson so
(18:48):
differently, could have done itreally structured, but they were
in it and they got it and Ijust realized these children,
they're still children and sofast forward.
When I came back to New ZealandI went into ward off education
and I didn't actually know a lotabout it then, but again it was
(19:10):
a soul-led.
I can just go through this dooryou don't know why, but go and
I'm again teaching five andsix-year-old children.
And in Wardorf that'skindergarten.
We don't start formal schooluntil they're seven.
They either turn seven.
It's exactly the same, but inWardorf education that is
(19:31):
recognised and nurtured.
Yes, this imagination, thissense of wonderment, this
ability to learn through storyand social interaction and
conversation, and it's the sameeverywhere.
It's just children innatelyunderneath and we just have to
(19:52):
listen and really notice.
So we also need to get curious,because when we can drop into
that, we can actually see thegifts that they already have.
It's already there, theyalready know.
we put so many constraints andyeah, fit into this box and
you've got to do this.
And if you don't do this now,it means you can't do that later
(20:12):
and what's going to happen?
You'll never be a successfuladult, whatever on earth that
looks like.
We get so caught up in that.
But actually, if we give thempermission to be, that's when
their gifts they're alreadythere, they already come online.
And now I don't teach anymore,but I work with parents and I
(20:33):
also run a play circle groupwhere mums come with their or
dads with their little ones, andthat's when I noticed more and
more recent, more recently,these children coming in are
just such magic, but I've juststopped talking about them.
They are so beautiful andthey're just so aware and
(20:58):
knowing, and so when I meet them, I feel like it's such a
privilege and an honor to toconnect and I can, and it's not
even.
You don't even need words, it'sjust through the connecting,
like looking at one another.
It was like you can eyes at theseat of the souls.
You can see them and I feelquite often they know that I can
(21:23):
see them too like it's aholding space.
I'm holding space for theirmums, but I'm also holding space
for them and quite likely.
I do believe it is them thathas guided their mum to that
place where they can be justsupported and held in a really
calm, loving environment withouttechnology, just be, just be
(21:47):
mum.
You know that and I think I doknow that they have a part to
play in.
I do know that they have a partto play in directing that.
I can't say how and why, what.
I know it's intuitive and evenStarseeds.
I don't know a heap about it tospeak to it at depth like that,
(22:07):
but I do know that they'recoming in and they're coming in
awake and they know.
But also, like you're sayingthey have, because they've got
so much here, they still need tobe held and supported because
it's a lot and they can beoversensitive and hypersensitive
and have different and thatcould be to the food, to the
(22:28):
environment, to noise, to.
So it's the more we can take astep back and just breathe and
notice.
Get curious, then we can.
They can join us in the energytoo.
And permission to.
Okay, it's all right, I canalso be as well.
Carrie Lingenfelter (22:49):
Yes.
Maria Adlam (22:50):
Yeah, there's so much.
There's so many things thatyou're probably you're seeing it
all the time as your childrencome with it too.
But I know my daughter.
She definitely needs, she needsmy presence.
But my presence needs to be,she needs me close.
But it needs to be not filledwith words, it's just a I'm here
(23:15):
and now.
When I work with children and myown children, I do something I
call the sacred pause and it'sjust basically taking a breath
to recenter so that I canregulate myself and then be able
to support, offer that supportto whoever the children is, and
(23:37):
hold that space.
So if my energy field isfeeling calm and I'm coming from
the heart, and then if anywords need to come out, those
words are coming from the heart,not the head, because then we
from the head, we want to, weoverthink it, we want to fix it,
we want to ask the questionswhat do you need?
What happened?
(23:58):
Who did?
What should I call someone?
We do when we can just breatheand from the come from the heart
, and it doesn't have to alwaysbe words, it can just be held, a
gesture of how we're holdingour own body a little bit, or
yeah, it's the simple, subtlethings I've found when I'm
(24:22):
working with children that's sobeautiful.
Carrie Lingenfelter (24:26):
I love that sacred pause.
Is it something you've taughtto your own children?
Maria Adlam (24:31):
you're two yeah, yeah, just taking a breath.
And so when I work with mums Icall it the sacred pause,
because they can drop into thatand appreciate that word a bit
more now that I've got twoteenagers.
Sacred pause is a pull, but itis and it isn't so it's.
(24:53):
They know what I mean and theyknow what I'm going to say, but
I might just use the languagearound.
It might be slightly different.
Or if my son is having, you canjust see children when they're
having a bit of an off day.
You just tell by looking atyour face.
But I might just sit on the endof his bed and I'll just sit.
(25:13):
Or maybe I'm just the end ofhis bed and I'll just sit.
Or maybe I'm just doingsomething near his room but not
in his room, and then I mightjust I will sense if there's an
invitation, you can come in andI'll just sit there.
I won't really say much.
I might just notice somethingin his room like oh yeah, that
(25:33):
picture looks great, or it lookslike we might need to get those
shoes fixed.
I'll just notice somethingdifferent and then he starts to
soften.
If I went in there with amillion questions, he would shut
down and I'd get nothing out ofhim at all.
It has to come from him and hejust has to know I'm not there
(25:54):
to hassle him and yeah, so ifI'm in a when I breathe, he
breathes.
They're both very good and theyhave been over the years at
asking for Reiki as well.
They know when it's going to besomething that will be helpful
to them.
I remember him, jackie, a fewyears ago, saying to me Mum, mum
(26:19):
, can I book in a Reiki with you?
Just the way he said it, bookit in Like a client he took my
diary.
Yeah, he's so cute.
Yeah, actually more him than mydaughter.
He's good at asking andsometimes for her I'll just hold
her hand and it's just thatexchange is going through anyway
(26:40):
, yeah that answered.
Carrie Lingenfelter (26:43):
I was going to ask you if they ever ask you
for reiki or if you give themreiki at times.
My kids right now they ask forreiki when they're sick or when
they have an owie or something,because they're seven or sick,
almost seven or one of them.
So, yeah, it's pretty fun forthem to ask that and I think I'm
(27:03):
trying to remember.
I think my daughter imitatesgiving me reiki.
Yeah, it's really cute.
Maria Adlam (27:12):
I remember going into my reiki room one day when
my daughter was probably thatage six or seven oh maybe
younger actually and she had herI think it was her teddy bear
on the table giving it Reiki.
And then the next time I wentin it was the cutest thing.
I didn't let them know, I sawit.
Both of my children were havingturns, like one was on the
(27:34):
table on the bed and the otherone was giving us.
But I just quietly walked away.
I didn't want to interrupt thatbeautiful like little bubble
that they were in.
Yeah, you just reminded me solike a little snapshot in your
mind, hey, because I don't youdon't always walk around, or
especially back then, with thecamera taking photos, but it
(27:55):
would have been a good.
It's just something I just haveto remember because it was so
sweet a mental picture.
Carrie Lingenfelter (28:01):
I love that .
I think these kids, whenthey're they're given so many,
so much space to expand, so muchspace to be themselves, the
support to be who they truly are, these ideas of these feelings
of acceptance, unconditionallove, patience and understanding
(28:22):
, and the tools that you'reteaching either directly or
indirectly, like the sacredpause, and all of those pieces,
they'll have it in their heartsand as they start to expand into
the world a little bit morewithout mom in those teenage
years, they'll still have it intheir back pocket right yeah,
(28:43):
exactly, and that's what youhope for.
Maria Adlam (28:46):
And something else that I would use with, obviously
with moms too but is this onceif you've had that sacred pause,
then you can drop into anddiscern whether, whatever you
need to do, it's a sacred yes ora sacred no.
And I do that with my childrentoo, because particularly my
(29:07):
daughter, because she is verysensitive and she's so aware of
everybody's feelings, so muchsuper, so much.
She takes on board everything.
And so I'm working with her togive her permission to say no to
some things.
And she knows that she's kind,she's a kind person, and I said,
(29:32):
so long as that delivery've, ifit's coming from your heart, it
will be the right thing and itwill be received okay.
And because she can recognizenow when she's feeling
overwhelmed and it's not herlike the or feeling, feeling off
, but it's not actually her,it's other energy.
(29:54):
So I I also do teach them tolook after the energy.
So when they were younger, jackwas really into knights and that
sort of thing.
So he would, he'd be, he'd havea knight cape and a shield, and
that was his way of protectinghis energy, because it just
spoke to him at that point.
Yeah, and then it is in life,saber, those that can.
(30:17):
It's, it was all an intention,right?
So you're making a consciouschoice to look after your energy
field and for maya, she thatshe likes, she has like a veil,
a wraparound that she canvisualize, and she still does it
now.
And I just remind them becausethey, yeah, they forget, because
(30:38):
I forget sometimes and soadults forget when I'm teaching.
So of course, childrensometimes need reminding, yeah,
that, but ideally they've got itin their back pockets in the
moment, at school or whereverthey are.
They can remember that that, oh, I can do, I can try this and I
have that power to I can givemyself permission to do this
(31:04):
because it's going to help me.
Helping me is probably going tohelp everyone, yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (31:08):
Would you, for our listeners, would you
describe how you would describea sacral yes or no to maybe like
an older kiddo, or even to anadult that doesn't know what it
is?
Maria Adlam (31:22):
yeah, so it would start by.
I always get people to start by.
You can do it, if you liketaking a few breaths, so I and
changing breath.
So you're just sittingcomfortably, they're closing
(31:42):
their eyes and they're breathingin through their nose, a big
in-breath inhale and then exhalethrough the mouth and it just
and that inhale, breathing in,and then a silent exhale, and
it's just a release, inhalingand exhaling and that exhale as
(32:06):
they're doing.
There, they can start to dropthe shoulders.
They might need to just movetheir body in whichever way
feels needed to, just to release.
And once you've taken a few ofthose breaths, you can center
into yourself and it's if youhave a question you can ask it,
(32:27):
it's if you have a thought thatneeds to have a seat at the
table, something that'sbothering.
You give it a space to be heard, to be witnessed, and then
permission to move on from thisspace.
You're creating this bubble,this little portal, and this is
the sacred pause.
(32:48):
You are giving yourselfpermission to be in the sense of
energy because you, it's yourswe're giving yourself permission
, so we'll.
Carrie Lingenfelter (33:03):
Can we start there?
Maria Adlam (33:06):
you're giving yourself permission to take a
sacred pause and in that pause,that's when the intuition, your
inner knowing, has anopportunity to be louder and
stronger.
And if there is a questionyou're sitting with, do I go to
(33:26):
that event or not?
That's when you, more likely,are going to hear that sacred
yes or sacred no, and you'llfeel it in your body.
It's a yes or it's a no andwhatever it is, it's honoring
that and you're feeling this isthe right thing for me to do,
and so for children, I use thebreaths all the time and that
(33:49):
journey of inhaling and exhaleand the exhale is always on with
an open mouth and breathing itout, because you can feel it go
and there's something withinyour whole body, your being
recalibrates in that time.
It's so simple.
You can do these breaths on thego if you need to, but I will
say, any time before you need tohave a big conversation, a
(34:14):
meeting, you're going to abirthday party, your friend's
about to come over and you're soexcited but you're also so
nervous.
Just take a few breaths andbring yourself back into your
body and that, if we can do thatthroughout the day, we're
keeping this balance.
We're keeping our energy morein a steady flow and rather than
(34:37):
up down, up down, up down.
So the brief is so powerful.
It sounds so simple, too simple, that people like that won't
work, so it won't do that, butit does work.
It's often the simple thingsthat are the most profound.
Yes, and that's why they are,that's why they've been created,
because the ease of them, sothey can actually happen yeah,
(35:01):
yeah, that was wonderful.
Carrie Lingenfelter (35:03):
I, when you were doing it, I was listening
and I asked a question and tohear the, I heard a yes, but it
wasn't like a direct yes, it was.
I felt excitement and I feltlike being home and I could see
like golden flashes of do itwith my yes, no question yeah,
that's so good because it's nota.
Maria Adlam (35:27):
Yes, carrie, you should do this.
It's a.
It's often a feeling, some, andpeople everyone.
It's different depending onwhere.
If you're more feeling or audioor visual, you might get these
different and it's like in areiki session and you're
probably the same.
(35:47):
I never say to people this iswhat will happen, because it's
everybody's own experience and,gosh, so many things have
happened over the people yeah myclients over the years that I
can't even imagine gosh howamazing.
But I'd never say you're gonnasee lights, you're gonna see
this grandmother's gonna comeand visit you.
(36:09):
I'm never gonna say that younever know.
Yeah, you never know, butthat's right.
And so when we again it'scontrolling it if we think, oh
good, brimhau's coming, I reallyneed to see her, and then that
doesn't happen and there'sdisappointment.
We just have to be in thatspace of surrendering and open
to receive and it will come toyou in the way that is meant for
(36:36):
you, because for some we're alldifferent and we can hear and
experience things in differentways yes, thank you so much for
explaining all of this to us,and I'll have to have you back
sometime, maria, because I feellike there's so much you and I
could talk about, especially ourpassion for spirituality and
development.
Carrie Lingenfelter (36:56):
Yeah, can you tell our listeners where
they can find you, because theyneed to discover your podcast?
I love it ah, thank you.
Maria Adlam (37:03):
Yeah, my podcast is called soulful mothers, so full
with two l's, and I createdthat to try and create a village
of four mums to connect and,yes, it's online, but our
villages are quite fractured.
Do we even have a village thesedays?
(37:24):
We get so it feels so isolatedsometimes, and even though we're
more connected in some waysdigital, online and groups
groups but at the same time,we're not.
So it's it's interesting.
So I wanted to create a spacewhere mums could share their
stories, primarily their journeyinto motherhood, what that
(37:47):
looked like, any challenges thatmay have arisen and how they
became them, but but also whatthey're doing now, because a lot
of them now, or us, it has thepathway, the trajectory has
completely changed and here weare doing something.
Teachers, you're the same.
I'm a teacher too, doingintuitive counselling and Reiki,
(38:08):
and you're similar.
And for people to, for thelisteners to see that journey of
potential it doesn't have to befixed and it doesn't have to be
, and just because for me myself, I appear to have know what I'm
doing now, I absolutely did not.
(38:29):
When I first found out, I waspregnant with my son, so a whole
different story.
You have to listen to thatepisode because I really did it
and it's a journey and it's youlearn along the way and there's
wisdom in the opportunities forgrowth along the way and that's
what I loved about to share nowbecause, if you can, that's what
(38:50):
it is supporting other people.
So the podcast is about, yeah,listening and sharing and
hearing people's journeys andthere's such a common thread and
you're like, oh, that happenedto you too, I thought that was
just me and big theme ofdisempowerment and empowerment
and just you can see where theneed is.
Yeah, so that's where that camefrom.
(39:12):
And I also do my own littlemusings on.
I follow the wheel of the yearquite strongly as well, so
what's happening in the seasonsand the cycles and the rhythms
of life, so that that featuresquite strongly there too.
And my on Instagram I'mparenting with so and Facebook.
I'm not the guest of socialmedia, I have to be honest.
But anyway, parenting with sois my business.
I'm not the guest of socialmedia, I have to be honest.
(39:33):
But email Guarantee with so ismy business name.
All the people can contact mefor.
Carrie Lingenfelter (39:39):
Okay, yeah, anyway, chat Wonderful.
Yeah, I'll put it in the shownotes.
Thank you so much for beinghere today, maria.
It was lovely to connect.
Maria Adlam (39:47):
Thank you for having me, it's been beautiful.
Yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (39:53):
Thank you.
Well, that's a wrap.
Thanks so much for tuning in.
Changemakers.
This is Keri, and if youhaven't done a review for us,
five stars and a little fewwords about what you've enjoyed
in our podcast episodes, wewould really appreciate it.
If you guys would like to evermessage me, I would love any
questions you have or anyfeedback at info at
hearttoheartlifecom, we alsohave a brand new website which
(40:17):
we're super excited to shareit's hearttoheartlifecom.
Thanks so much for tuning inand happy life, happy times.
Changemaker families.
Bye.
I do something I call the sacred pause and it's
just basically taking a breathto recenter so that I can
regulate myself and then be ableto support, offer that support
to whoever the children is, andhold that space.
So if my energy field isfeeling calm and I'm coming from
(00:28):
the heart, and then if anywords need to come out, those
words are coming from the heart,not the head, because then we
from the head, we want to, weoverthink it, we want to fix it,
we want to ask other questionswhat do you need?
What happened?
Who did?
What should I call someone?
We do when we can just breatheand from the come from the heart
(00:50):
, and it doesn't have to alwaysbe words, it can just be how, a
gesture of how we're holding ourown body.
Carrie Lingenfelter (00:58):
Yeah, a bit , or yeah, it's the simple
subtle things I've found comingon working with children are and
(01:20):
teaching your kids how to dothat along the way.
Join us Hi there, happylisteners.
It's Keri here and I'm soexcited I have a new project
called Conscious Family Travelson YouTube.
It's all about mindfullytraveling with our highly
sensitive kids.
We love to give tips and toolsabout how you can pack, how you
can prepare traveling withdietary restrictions.
(01:43):
We love to share in-depthguides of certain areas that we
are traveling to, as well assome of the actual items that we
use along our journey.
So join us on this ConsciousFamily Travels journey.
Hi there and welcome back.
It's Keri, your friendly,intuitive mama here, and I'm so
(02:03):
excited I get to connect withsomebody.
I was recently on her podcastand now I get to have the gift
of having her on ours.
So we have Maria Adlim withSoulful Mamas podcast here today
and you guys have to check outher podcast if you haven't yet.
Thanks, Maria, for being here.
Maria Adlam (02:22):
Thank you, Carrie.
Thank you for having me.
It's lovely to see you.
Carrie Lingenfelter (02:26):
Yeah, I'm so excited.
I love connecting with you andit's so fun to talk about our
spiritual tools and where it'staken us with motherhood, and I
wanted to jump right in and askyou if you've always been
spiritual or if that's somethingthat you've expanded on after
becoming a mom.
Maria Adlam (02:44):
Yeah, it's an interesting one, isn't it?
I think, like many people, as achild I was very in tune and
aware, but I didn't have anyguidance, anyone to say, oh,
that's okay, that's this orthat's that, say, oh, that's
(03:07):
okay, that's this or that's that, and.
And so when I would?
I remember I still rememberasking my mum what are these big
lights or orbs in the room?
And she just said, oh, you musthave just been looking at the
light funny, your eyes are justadjusting.
And I just so.
Every time there was a, becauseshe didn't know herself.
So she just said never came.
And so little bit by little bit,I shut it down and the
(03:28):
curiosity and the wonder of whatis it?
I remember my best friend and Iwere used to just always
imagine what was out beyond inspace, the stars, and it was not
just a little child wondering,it was a almost like a
remembering interesting.
When her and I connected, wehad these big conversations
wondering.
It was a almost like aremembering interesting.
When her and I connected, wehad these big conversations, but
(03:49):
it was just two children really, and without any adult guidance
.
So no going into teenage land.
It all shut down and itprobably it would keep popping
up late teens, early 20s there'dbe.
I was forever drawn to, youknow, crystals and if there's a
(04:09):
spiritual fear in town.
And I didn't really know whyand it wasn't until I had a very
dear friend pass away in a caraccident and it really rocked my
world.
It's probably early 20s and hecame back to me in a dream and
it was so real it was, it waslike he was just.
(04:32):
It was like he was here.
It didn't feel like a dream andhe said I've come back, I'm
here to tell you that it's okay.
I'm okay Because I was in my, Ithink, my, last year of
university and I was strugglingbecause I lost my Nana and then
him and I just what is this allabout?
(04:54):
Losing two important people inyour life?
And he just said I'm okay andfrom that it was like this
weight was lifted off myshoulders.
I couldn't explain it.
And then I went on to finishthat year.
I did well and I was okay.
I was actually okay.
He said he gave me this gift ofpeace.
I didn't really understand it,but it felt right and good.
(05:17):
And when I got in my firstteaching job the following year,
this mum happened to be.
I didn't know anything reallyabout that, but I don't know how
she started.
We got talking and I told herabout this dream, and I told
nobody about this dream, really,because no one.
Yeah, and she said do you know?
(05:40):
There's such a stress, such aneed to receive it, because that
was his way of you're like at acrossroads and you can make a
choice as to what path you'regoing to go, but allow these
losses to inform and influenceyour life and take this path and
(06:03):
not finish university orwhatever or no.
Go on and do what you're hereto do and here your life and
take this path and not finishuniversity or whatever or no.
Go on and do what you're hereto do and here you are.
So that was, that was my firstknowing of.
Yes, it's, there's somethinggreater than me and I don't
understand it, but it's thereand it feels right and true and
then fast forward probably nottill I had children that it
(06:25):
really expanded when I raced it.
Carrie Lingenfelter (06:27):
No, so yeah what do you think it is about
us becoming mothers that helpsus to expand into it again.
I love that you connected withit again in your 20s and then it
was quiet again for you.
It comes out when you need it.
Maria Adlam (06:42):
It sounds yeah yeah , it's like a portal and you're
going from the space and stageof maiden, so this, into mother.
And it's such a rite of passagethat I do feel that we it needs
to be honored and respected waymore than it is, and understood
even this passage from maideninto this journey of motherhood.
(07:08):
And it is like you're crossinga threshold, you're into this,
go through this portal, thatbirth portal, into something.
You come out and you're not thesame, you're a different
version of you and there's ahonoring and appreciation of
that time before children, as inthose maiden years, and then
(07:32):
stepping into this fullness ofwhat motherhood looks like.
And it is an opening, it's amini awakening, if you like.
Yeah, and I think, if we're toreally be honest, all of us
mothers would feel there's ashift, there's definitely a
change, and it's just how muchyou're supported and guided
(07:54):
through that, as to whether youmight push it down or soldier on
or I can do it on my own,there's all of that.
But I do remember with my sonwhen he was born Now his is a
different story, but it's a bigstory his coming into the world,
(08:15):
but when he was I don't knowhow old, a few, maybe three or
four months old, a bit olderperhaps he would get little
chest problem not problems, justthat was his area where he'd
get.
If he had a cold, it wouldsometimes go to his chest and I
just I didn't understand it, butI always had this feeling when
(08:38):
he had something wrong with hischest, my hands would warm up
and I just felt like I justneeded to place my hands on his
chest and I didn't know why andI thought is this just me?
In my as a mama, this is I justfeel like I need to, because we
do.
When you hurt yourself, if youbang your head, you put your
hands into that place, onto thatplace, but I just my hands
(09:01):
would heat up and I would justfeel like I needed to go and I
had this.
It's like a remembering or aknowing that I can help them.
But then I have the ego mindsaying who do you think you are?
You can't have, what do youknow?
And so I was very much andagain I didn't say anything,
(09:25):
didn't really talk about that.
And it wasn't until I had mydaughter, who had even bigger
challenges health-wise, where Idiscovered Reiki.
Somebody said have you triedReiki?
Because I've tried alldifferent things and I said I've
got no idea what that is, but Iam willing and open to find and
try anything.
(09:45):
And when I did, when I met myteacher I can't even describe
the feeling throughout my body.
It was like a homecoming it'slike finally, it was incredible,
incredible, and that was thethat's when the door really
flung open and it was like, yeah, then I really stepped into
(10:08):
this world of where I think I,my soul, has been trying to lead
me to.
Okay, she's not listening,let's try this way, let's try
this way.
You just have to have theseexperiences along the journey.
But, yeah, once I learnt I wentto this woman for Reiki for my
(10:29):
daughter, I thought, but reallyit was for myself.
And yeah, I did the trainingand that was, and that feeling.
So when I did that firsttraining, the feeling in my
hands, and then I remembered Iknow this feeling, I've had this
before.
Yes, yeah, and that was thereall along, but it just wasn't
(10:51):
refined and understood.
Yeah, reiki is probably likethat gateway, yes, motherhood,
that portal, stepping into thatand then discovering Reiki and
then, but also having the peoplestarting together, being in
community or just finding thementors and the teachers and
(11:12):
those beautiful little guidesalong the way, that support, and
it feels true and aligned,because my soul was just doing
the happy dance.
That feeling was so good.
Yeah, I have so many things Iwant to ask you, because my soul
was just doing the heavy dance.
Carrie Lingenfelter (11:25):
It was so good.
Yeah, I have so many things Iwant to ask you that come with
your story.
The first thing that bubbled upin me when you were telling us
at the beginning, when we saythere's these challenges that
can come at the beginning ofbeing a mom, and how we start to
have that mama intuition andthat connection, that spiritual
(11:47):
connection that we start to feelin us and it's like when we
just receive that spiritualconnection and we're open to it,
it's such a change for us as amom versus living in it.
Right, the ego mind I can dothis and it's like I can be the
perfect mom in this box of whatmoms need to be.
(12:09):
So that bubbled up in me.
I love that.
One thing I was thinking whenyou were talking about the three
month, three or four month.
I had that exact same timelinewhere I had things shift with my
kids as well.
It was I had told you on yourpodcast when my daughter used to
sleep on me and she would onlynap on me.
It was at three to four monthswhere I was doing Reiki on
(12:30):
myself and on herself to get herto detach from me long enough
to nap in her own littlebassinet.
So it was around that same ageand it was also
around that age for my firstkiddo, my son, when I started to
follow his cues instead ofbeing the charge of my own cues
and thinking, like he has to napat this time, he has to eat at
(12:53):
this time.
This is the schedule.
These are the eight sleepdevices.
Because he can't sleep with mein the bed, that's what American
culture says.
He has to sleep in the bassinet.
That's what's safe, and it wasaround that time that I went
release it, be yourself, connect, and it was those spiritual
people around me that helped meto get there.
So we love that power ofcommunity that you mentioned.
Maria Adlam (13:15):
Yeah, because it's so empowering to have that
support, because, going throughso many people, so many women do
have a disempowering journeybirth journey or into their
parenting journey and it's whenthey feel within themselves what
(13:35):
is right and true and what theywould like to do for themselves
, for their family, but societyand whatever shape or form that
looks like, it could bewell-intending family and
friends.
It could be the ads on thetelevision saying buy this, do
this, do-do-do-do-do, and wejust get so overwhelmed with all
the information and all theconflicting advice and we forget
(13:59):
to tune in to our own innerknowing, because we know we
already we do know and whatresonates with you and I might
not for somebody else, andthat's okay.
We're not all meant to beexactly the same cookie cutter,
but we have to find the thingthat does speak to us and which
means stepping more into ourpower of finding our voice and
(14:21):
advocating for our children andourselves in that way.
Carrie Lingenfelter (14:24):
And I don't know if it's as popular in New
Zealand, where you live, becauseI'm in Colorado, us.
I'm finding that so manyspiritually connected people are
starting to really talk aboutthe kids coming in today.
So I have an almostseven-year-old daughter and an
almost 10-year-old son.
You'll have to remind me howold your kiddos are again
(14:48):
Curious what your thoughts are,because you were also a teacher
before.
What your ideas are on thesekids coming in today, what their
gifts look like, but sometimestheir challenges or heightened
sensitivity feels, and also, ifyou, what your thoughts are on
the idea of the star seeds Idon't know if you've talked
about.
Maria Adlam (15:04):
yeah so my children are 13 and 15 well, actually
nearly 13.
She's in about two weeks timeshe's going to be 13.
So she's all about.
I'm really a teenager, yeah.
So when I was teaching, yeah,it definitely has.
It's interesting.
(15:26):
So when I started teaching, Iwas in New Zealand for a few
years.
Then we moved to the UK and Iworked in London for seven,
eight years, in all differenttypes of schooling, yeah, and
all different areas.
So, from the high-rise estatebuildings Children never go
outside to some of the mostwealthy families in the city.
(15:50):
So there was such a contrast.
But so I mainly taught year one, so six, between five and seven
, that age group and what Ifound was it did not matter if
they had come from nothing money, wise, or even here or if they
(16:12):
had everything the cook, themaid, the driver, the tutor but
everything they had everything.
The essence is they're stillchildren.
Their little hearts and soulsare the same and their needs are
the same, and we, there'ssomething within them that needs
(16:34):
to be met on a deeper level.
So I used to always tell this,so in the private schools when I
was working in there, and theywould be all prim and proper and
they had their little ties on.
They were all cute, but theywould be.
The expectation from some of thefamilies was they're going to
do this and I want them to be atthis level and I'm already
paying for this tutoring, and sofor me it was intuitively I
(16:58):
felt like they still need to bechildren.
They're still only six yearsold and they need to still be
able to access that imaginationand that sense of wonderment and
play and they can learn andgrow and evolve into who they
are as a person through that.
And so the children in theestate blocks that didn't have
(17:20):
anything, they can find theirimagination, even if it's just
literally sticks and stones thatthey're finding.
And then these other children.
It's the same thing, and Iremember telling a story.
If you speak through story tochildren, you can capture them,
and we were learning about mapsand different treasure maps and
(17:42):
different things.
And so I created this story andI made this old treasure map and
burnt the edges and I said itwas discovered by my grandfather
.
And so I took them on thisjourney and all these different
things, and it didn't matter.
I told the story to whoever itwas, even the prim and proper
children that like questioneverything.
(18:03):
And my dad says this they hadtheir eyes would open up in
wonderment and they have it up.
I think I remember one littleboy putting his hand up.
I thought, oh my gosh, he'sgoing to call me out on this,
saying this is BS, it's not true.
And he said back then I wascalled Miss Jack.
Miss Jack, I've got it.
(18:24):
I can see there's a little.
I think it was bushland orforest or something.
And he goes I think there's anX in there, I think that's where
the treasure was.
And because he was fullyengaged in this math and this
story, the whole class was.
And so I realized I could havetaught that lesson so
(18:48):
differently, could have done itreally structured, but they were
in it and they got it and Ijust realized these children,
they're still children and sofast forward.
When I came back to New ZealandI went into ward off education
and I didn't actually know a lotabout it then, but again it was
(19:10):
a soul-led.
I can just go through this dooryou don't know why, but go and
I'm again teaching five andsix-year-old children.
And in Wardorf that'skindergarten.
We don't start formal schooluntil they're seven.
They either turn seven.
It's exactly the same, but inWardorf education that is
(19:31):
recognised and nurtured.
Yes, this imagination, thissense of wonderment, this
ability to learn through storyand social interaction and
conversation, and it's the sameeverywhere.
It's just children innatelyunderneath and we just have to
(19:52):
listen and really notice.
So we also need to get curious,because when we can drop into
that, we can actually see thegifts that they already have.
It's already there, theyalready know.
we put so many constraints andyeah, fit into this box and
you've got to do this.
And if you don't do this now,it means you can't do that later
(20:12):
and what's going to happen?
You'll never be a successfuladult, whatever on earth that
looks like.
We get so caught up in that.
But actually, if we give thempermission to be, that's when
their gifts they're alreadythere, they already come online.
And now I don't teach anymore,but I work with parents and I
(20:33):
also run a play circle groupwhere mums come with their or
dads with their little ones, andthat's when I noticed more and
more recent, more recently,these children coming in are
just such magic, but I've juststopped talking about them.
They are so beautiful andthey're just so aware and
(20:58):
knowing, and so when I meet them, I feel like it's such a
privilege and an honor to toconnect and I can, and it's not
even.
You don't even need words, it'sjust through the connecting,
like looking at one another.
It was like you can eyes at theseat of the souls.
You can see them and I feelquite often they know that I can
(21:23):
see them too like it's aholding space.
I'm holding space for theirmums, but I'm also holding space
for them and quite likely.
I do believe it is them thathas guided their mum to that
place where they can be justsupported and held in a really
calm, loving environment withouttechnology, just be, just be
(21:47):
mum.
You know that and I think I doknow that they have a part to
play in.
I do know that they have a partto play in directing that.
I can't say how and why, what.
I know it's intuitive and evenStarseeds.
I don't know a heap about it tospeak to it at depth like that,
(22:07):
but I do know that they'recoming in and they're coming in
awake and they know.
But also, like you're sayingthey have, because they've got
so much here, they still need tobe held and supported because
it's a lot and they can beoversensitive and hypersensitive
and have different and thatcould be to the food, to the
(22:28):
environment, to noise, to.
So it's the more we can take astep back and just breathe and
notice.
Get curious, then we can.
They can join us in the energytoo.
And permission to.
Okay, it's all right, I canalso be as well.
Carrie Lingenfelter (22:49):
Yes.
Maria Adlam (22:50):
Yeah, there's so much.
There's so many things thatyou're probably you're seeing it
all the time as your childrencome with it too.
But I know my daughter.
She definitely needs, she needsmy presence.
But my presence needs to be,she needs me close.
But it needs to be not filledwith words, it's just a I'm here
(23:15):
and now.
When I work with children and myown children, I do something I
call the sacred pause and it'sjust basically taking a breath
to recenter so that I canregulate myself and then be able
to support, offer that supportto whoever the children is, and
(23:37):
hold that space.
So if my energy field isfeeling calm and I'm coming from
the heart, and then if anywords need to come out, those
words are coming from the heart,not the head, because then we
from the head, we want to, weoverthink it, we want to fix it,
we want to ask the questionswhat do you need?
What happened?
(23:58):
Who did?
What should I call someone?
We do when we can just breatheand from the come from the heart
, and it doesn't have to alwaysbe words, it can just be held, a
gesture of how we're holdingour own body a little bit, or
yeah, it's the simple, subtlethings I've found when I'm
(24:22):
working with children that's sobeautiful.
Carrie Lingenfelter (24:26):
I love that sacred pause.
Is it something you've taughtto your own children?
Maria Adlam (24:31):
you're two yeah, yeah, just taking a breath.
And so when I work with mums Icall it the sacred pause,
because they can drop into thatand appreciate that word a bit
more now that I've got twoteenagers.
Sacred pause is a pull, but itis and it isn't so it's.
(24:53):
They know what I mean and theyknow what I'm going to say, but
I might just use the languagearound.
It might be slightly different.
Or if my son is having, you canjust see children when they're
having a bit of an off day.
You just tell by looking atyour face.
But I might just sit on the endof his bed and I'll just sit.
(25:13):
Or maybe I'm just the end ofhis bed and I'll just sit.
Or maybe I'm just doingsomething near his room but not
in his room, and then I mightjust I will sense if there's an
invitation, you can come in andI'll just sit there.
I won't really say much.
I might just notice somethingin his room like oh yeah, that
(25:33):
picture looks great, or it lookslike we might need to get those
shoes fixed.
I'll just notice somethingdifferent and then he starts to
soften.
If I went in there with amillion questions, he would shut
down and I'd get nothing out ofhim at all.
It has to come from him and hejust has to know I'm not there
(25:54):
to hassle him and yeah, so ifI'm in a when I breathe, he
breathes.
They're both very good and theyhave been over the years at
asking for Reiki as well.
They know when it's going to besomething that will be helpful
to them.
I remember him, jackie, a fewyears ago, saying to me Mum, mum
(26:19):
, can I book in a Reiki with you?
Just the way he said it, bookit in Like a client he took my
diary.
Yeah, he's so cute.
Yeah, actually more him than mydaughter.
He's good at asking andsometimes for her I'll just hold
her hand and it's just thatexchange is going through anyway
(26:40):
, yeah that answered.
Carrie Lingenfelter (26:43):
I was going to ask you if they ever ask you
for reiki or if you give themreiki at times.
My kids right now they ask forreiki when they're sick or when
they have an owie or something,because they're seven or sick,
almost seven or one of them.
So, yeah, it's pretty fun forthem to ask that and I think I'm
(27:03):
trying to remember.
I think my daughter imitatesgiving me reiki.
Yeah, it's really cute.
Maria Adlam (27:12):
I remember going into my reiki room one day when
my daughter was probably thatage six or seven oh maybe
younger actually and she had herI think it was her teddy bear
on the table giving it Reiki.
And then the next time I wentin it was the cutest thing.
I didn't let them know, I sawit.
Both of my children were havingturns, like one was on the
(27:34):
table on the bed and the otherone was giving us.
But I just quietly walked away.
I didn't want to interrupt thatbeautiful like little bubble
that they were in.
Yeah, you just reminded me solike a little snapshot in your
mind, hey, because I don't youdon't always walk around, or
especially back then, with thecamera taking photos, but it
(27:55):
would have been a good.
It's just something I just haveto remember because it was so
sweet a mental picture.
Carrie Lingenfelter (28:01):
I love that .
I think these kids, whenthey're they're given so many,
so much space to expand, so muchspace to be themselves, the
support to be who they truly are, these ideas of these feelings
of acceptance, unconditionallove, patience and understanding
(28:22):
, and the tools that you'reteaching either directly or
indirectly, like the sacredpause, and all of those pieces,
they'll have it in their heartsand as they start to expand into
the world a little bit morewithout mom in those teenage
years, they'll still have it intheir back pocket right yeah,
(28:43):
exactly, and that's what youhope for.
Maria Adlam (28:46):
And something else that I would use with, obviously
with moms too but is this onceif you've had that sacred pause,
then you can drop into anddiscern whether, whatever you
need to do, it's a sacred yes ora sacred no.
And I do that with my childrentoo, because particularly my
(29:07):
daughter, because she is verysensitive and she's so aware of
everybody's feelings, so muchsuper, so much.
She takes on board everything.
And so I'm working with her togive her permission to say no to
some things.
And she knows that she's kind,she's a kind person, and I said,
(29:32):
so long as that delivery've, ifit's coming from your heart, it
will be the right thing and itwill be received okay.
And because she can recognizenow when she's feeling
overwhelmed and it's not herlike the or feeling, feeling off
, but it's not actually her,it's other energy.
(29:54):
So I I also do teach them tolook after the energy.
So when they were younger, jackwas really into knights and that
sort of thing.
So he would, he'd be, he'd havea knight cape and a shield, and
that was his way of protectinghis energy, because it just
spoke to him at that point.
Yeah, and then it is in life,saber, those that can.
(30:17):
It's, it was all an intention,right?
So you're making a consciouschoice to look after your energy
field and for maya, she thatshe likes, she has like a veil,
a wraparound that she canvisualize, and she still does it
now.
And I just remind them becausethey, yeah, they forget, because
(30:38):
I forget sometimes and soadults forget when I'm teaching.
So of course, childrensometimes need reminding, yeah,
that, but ideally they've got itin their back pockets in the
moment, at school or whereverthey are.
They can remember that that, oh, I can do, I can try this and I
have that power to I can givemyself permission to do this
(31:04):
because it's going to help me.
Helping me is probably going tohelp everyone, yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (31:08):
Would you, for our listeners, would you
describe how you would describea sacral yes or no to maybe like
an older kiddo, or even to anadult that doesn't know what it
is?
Maria Adlam (31:22):
yeah, so it would start by.
I always get people to start by.
You can do it, if you liketaking a few breaths, so I and
changing breath.
So you're just sittingcomfortably, they're closing
(31:42):
their eyes and they're breathingin through their nose, a big
in-breath inhale and then exhalethrough the mouth and it just
and that inhale, breathing in,and then a silent exhale, and
it's just a release, inhalingand exhaling and that exhale as
(32:06):
they're doing.
There, they can start to dropthe shoulders.
They might need to just movetheir body in whichever way
feels needed to, just to release.
And once you've taken a few ofthose breaths, you can center
into yourself and it's if youhave a question you can ask it,
(32:27):
it's if you have a thought thatneeds to have a seat at the
table, something that'sbothering.
You give it a space to be heard, to be witnessed, and then
permission to move on from thisspace.
You're creating this bubble,this little portal, and this is
the sacred pause.
(32:48):
You are giving yourselfpermission to be in the sense of
energy because you, it's yourswe're giving yourself permission
, so we'll.
Carrie Lingenfelter (33:03):
Can we start there?
Maria Adlam (33:06):
you're giving yourself permission to take a
sacred pause and in that pause,that's when the intuition, your
inner knowing, has anopportunity to be louder and
stronger.
And if there is a questionyou're sitting with, do I go to
(33:26):
that event or not?
That's when you, more likely,are going to hear that sacred
yes or sacred no, and you'llfeel it in your body.
It's a yes or it's a no andwhatever it is, it's honoring
that and you're feeling this isthe right thing for me to do,
and so for children, I use thebreaths all the time and that
(33:49):
journey of inhaling and exhaleand the exhale is always on with
an open mouth and breathing itout, because you can feel it go
and there's something withinyour whole body, your being
recalibrates in that time.
It's so simple.
You can do these breaths on thego if you need to, but I will
say, any time before you need tohave a big conversation, a
(34:14):
meeting, you're going to abirthday party, your friend's
about to come over and you're soexcited but you're also so
nervous.
Just take a few breaths andbring yourself back into your
body and that, if we can do thatthroughout the day, we're
keeping this balance.
We're keeping our energy morein a steady flow and rather than
(34:37):
up down, up down, up down.
So the brief is so powerful.
It sounds so simple, too simple, that people like that won't
work, so it won't do that, butit does work.
It's often the simple thingsthat are the most profound.
Yes, and that's why they are,that's why they've been created,
because the ease of them, sothey can actually happen yeah,
(35:01):
yeah, that was wonderful.
Carrie Lingenfelter (35:03):
I, when you were doing it, I was listening
and I asked a question and tohear the, I heard a yes, but it
wasn't like a direct yes, it was.
I felt excitement and I feltlike being home and I could see
like golden flashes of do itwith my yes, no question yeah,
that's so good because it's nota.
Maria Adlam (35:27):
Yes, carrie, you should do this.
It's a.
It's often a feeling, some, andpeople everyone.
It's different depending onwhere.
If you're more feeling or audioor visual, you might get these
different and it's like in areiki session and you're
probably the same.
(35:47):
I never say to people this iswhat will happen, because it's
everybody's own experience and,gosh, so many things have
happened over the people yeah myclients over the years that I
can't even imagine gosh howamazing.
But I'd never say you're gonnasee lights, you're gonna see
this grandmother's gonna comeand visit you.
(36:09):
I'm never gonna say that younever know.
Yeah, you never know, butthat's right.
And so when we again it'scontrolling it if we think, oh
good, brimhau's coming, I reallyneed to see her, and then that
doesn't happen and there'sdisappointment.
We just have to be in thatspace of surrendering and open
to receive and it will come toyou in the way that is meant for
(36:36):
you, because for some we're alldifferent and we can hear and
experience things in differentways yes, thank you so much for
explaining all of this to us,and I'll have to have you back
sometime, maria, because I feellike there's so much you and I
could talk about, especially ourpassion for spirituality and
development.
Carrie Lingenfelter (36:56):
Yeah, can you tell our listeners where
they can find you, because theyneed to discover your podcast?
I love it ah, thank you.
Maria Adlam (37:03):
Yeah, my podcast is called soulful mothers, so full
with two l's, and I createdthat to try and create a village
of four mums to connect and,yes, it's online, but our
villages are quite fractured.
Do we even have a village thesedays?
(37:24):
We get so it feels so isolatedsometimes, and even though we're
more connected in some waysdigital, online and groups
groups but at the same time,we're not.
So it's it's interesting.
So I wanted to create a spacewhere mums could share their
stories, primarily their journeyinto motherhood, what that
(37:47):
looked like, any challenges thatmay have arisen and how they
became them, but but also whatthey're doing now, because a lot
of them now, or us, it has thepathway, the trajectory has
completely changed and here weare doing something.
Teachers, you're the same.
I'm a teacher too, doingintuitive counselling and Reiki,
(38:08):
and you're similar.
And for people to, for thelisteners to see that journey of
potential it doesn't have to befixed and it doesn't have to be
, and just because for me myself, I appear to have know what I'm
doing now, I absolutely did not.
(38:29):
When I first found out, I waspregnant with my son, so a whole
different story.
You have to listen to thatepisode because I really did it
and it's a journey and it's youlearn along the way and there's
wisdom in the opportunities forgrowth along the way and that's
what I loved about to share nowbecause, if you can, that's what
(38:50):
it is supporting other people.
So the podcast is about, yeah,listening and sharing and
hearing people's journeys andthere's such a common thread and
you're like, oh, that happenedto you too, I thought that was
just me and big theme ofdisempowerment and empowerment
and just you can see where theneed is.
Yeah, so that's where that camefrom.
(39:12):
And I also do my own littlemusings on.
I follow the wheel of the yearquite strongly as well, so
what's happening in the seasonsand the cycles and the rhythms
of life, so that that featuresquite strongly there too.
And my on Instagram I'mparenting with so and Facebook.
I'm not the guest of socialmedia, I have to be honest.
But anyway, parenting with sois my business.
I'm not the guest of socialmedia, I have to be honest.
(39:33):
But email Guarantee with so ismy business name.
All the people can contact mefor.
Carrie Lingenfelter (39:39):
Okay, yeah, anyway, chat Wonderful.
Yeah, I'll put it in the shownotes.
Thank you so much for beinghere today, maria.
It was lovely to connect.
Maria Adlam (39:47):
Thank you for having me, it's been beautiful.
Yeah.
Carrie Lingenfelter (39:53):
Thank you.
Well, that's a wrap.
Thanks so much for tuning in.
Changemakers.
This is Keri, and if youhaven't done a review for us,
five stars and a little fewwords about what you've enjoyed
in our podcast episodes, wewould really appreciate it.
If you guys would like to evermessage me, I would love any
questions you have or anyfeedback at info at
hearttoheartlifecom, we alsohave a brand new website which
(40:17):
we're super excited to shareit's hearttoheartlifecom.
Thanks so much for tuning inand happy life, happy times.
Changemaker families.
Bye.
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