Sportcat's Daily Gazette, your daily fix of global news with a sassy, dark-humored twist—keeping you informed without the apocalyptic dread! Today, we’re dishing out the wildest stories with a side of snark.
The Pentagon Pizza Index is at DEFCON 1! An 800% spike in pizza orders near the Pentagon has tongues wagging. Are officials burning the midnight oil, or is it a secret pizza rave? Whispers tie it to President Trump’s mysterious status—last seen tweeting "covfefe" from a golf cart. We’ll cut through the cheesy rumors!
Up north, NORAD scrambled F-16s four times this week to shoo Russian spy planes near Alaska. Lost tourists or sneaky spies? We’ll unpack it with zero turbulence and max sass.
In unhinged news, a Texas man allegedly left voicemails for a Trump staffer, threatening decapitation and family feuds. Yikes, save the drama for reality TV! Prosecutors aren’t laughing, but we’ll find the funny.
Don’t panic—we’ve got good news to balance the chaos, plus weather updates (spoiler: it’s probably raining) and the FEMA daily report to keep your bunker vibes in check. So, crawl out of your fallout shelter, grab a Mountain Dew, and join the chat for news that’s upbeat, unfiltered, and a little feral— Sportcat style!
Listen now and join the Gazette gang—where the news is fresh, the weather’s hot, and the bunker’s always open!
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