Spirituality and Hard Things Part 2 - "Are You A Christian?"

Sometimes we find ourselves in hard situations that may seem impossible to get out of. That's exactly the kind of situation Mahonri found himself in. In too deep and wanting desperately to serve God through a mission, this is the story of how he took a step of faith and had miracles happen.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome aboard the story arc.

(00:07):
I'm your captain Kenny Mears and let's take a voyage together.
Last week we heard the first part of my dear friend Mahanrai's story of faith and struggle
as he went through great lengths to graduate high school.
I'm happy to present part two of Mahanrai's story.
Here's Mahanrai.

(00:28):
Did that end up being the end?
No, really.
I actually ended up dealing with some issues on the way.
One of those things was the fact that after I finished high school, like I mentioned before,

(00:48):
two of my friends passed away.
In the time that I was very happy about the fact that I graduated, I was actually still
involved with some affiliated with some people that I shouldn't be affiliated with.
At that time, since I was affiliated with those people, it didn't make it any easier
on my side for what I wanted to do next.

(01:11):
When I finished high school, one of those things was that I made the decision to actually
become a missionary.
So like try to serve a mission.
When I say try is because I was actually trying to serve because I was still affiliated and
it really sucked.
When you're in that kind of lifestyle, at that point you can't really get out.

(01:34):
So you have to deal with those things and you're kind of stuck in that place.
I guess there's other stories about that, but in that aspect, you can't really just
get out and be like, hey, I'm actually going out.
I'll say yeah.
It doesn't work that way.
I knew there was only one way out and that was not going to be it.

(01:55):
I remember praying to God one time too and asking, hey, so how am I supposed to fix the
situation if I want to serve a mission?
Yet you tell me that I need to serve one, but yet I'm still stuck here in this situation
and I'm done with school, but I can't get out of this situation.
So it helped me figure out what I need to do in order to move on to the next phase of

(02:19):
my life.
I got no answer at all.
I got no answer at all.
I got no sense of answer.
At that time I just became more confused.
So during those times before November, now that I think about it, I actually left the

(02:43):
state for like a month and I left the state because I started to get a lot more threats
and I needed to go incognito mode.
I actually left the state for like a month or so just to be safe.
When I came back, which is a whole different story too, I came back and I actually had

(03:05):
to face my problem and had to talk to one, I guess what they call it, boss, right?
And so when I did, I remember sitting down in that table with him and it was really awkward.

(03:30):
It was really weird.
And he was like, what do you want?
Because you're here wasting my time.
So what is it that you need?
And so my question was, well, I need something, but I don't know if you're able to do that
for me.

(03:51):
And he was like, well, what is it?
And I told him, I don't know, it may sound cringey, but I want to serve a mission.
I actually want to go and like praise the word of God.
And I don't know what to do because I know there's only one way out.
And with those situations, the only way out is just death.

(04:15):
That's really it.
And so I really had no other option.
And so he looks, he kind of gets quiet and I can show you, it was the most silent moment.
He's quiet for like two minutes.
He's writing some notes down.
I don't know what else.
I was pretty nervous.
I was like, you know what?
I think I just dig my own grave.
So I'm done for.

(04:36):
But he dropped the pen and he looked up and he was like, so you're telling me you want
to serve a mission.
So where did this idea came from?
How do you go from this to that?
It doesn't make any sense.
I've never in my life ever heard such thing.
So either you have a good explanation or you're just a coward and doesn't want to do their

(04:58):
job.
I'm like, I told him, sir, well, all respect, I'm not a coward.
I just, I'm genuine being serious.
And he was like, you Christian?
I'm like, yes, I'm Christian.
And so I'm scared when I'm talking to this man.
As I'm talking, I can barely flow with my words as I'm talking to him.

(05:26):
And pretty much gets quiet again.
And it made it even worse for me because I was like, I don't know why.
I just need an answer.
I just want to go.
I don't know what's going to happen.
The man turned, the man kind of like lays back and he's like, you know what?
That's pretty interesting.

(05:48):
He was like, let me ask you something.
And I was like, what is it?
And he was like, what is it that you want to do in life?
You know, like really?
Hey, have you ever thought about that?
Or you just had the idea of just staying here forever, right?
Like, is this going to be like your main job, your main career or something like that?

(06:08):
Or you plan to move on the ranks or do you plan to how to, do you plan to be a father?
Do you plan to like go to college, get an education, do something with your life?
What do you plan to do kid?
And honestly, I didn't know what to answer.
I just knew that I was like, look, if I'm being honest, I barely passed high school,
but yet I graduated.

(06:29):
But I do want to go preach about God because I do think that's changing my life.
So if that's the case, then that means that I can change other people's lives.
So what I'm asking is that for you and I understand what the consequences are, but I'm asking
you face to face just to like, let me go.

(06:49):
That's all I ask.
That's really just all I want.
And so he kind of just kind of just laughs.
I was, I was like, oh my gosh, this is not, I don't know what to say.
Kind of looks at me and just says, just, just, just give me one, one favor.

(07:13):
Um, yes.
Um, he told me, come here.
And I, I came close.
He told me, give me, give me your gun.
And at that time I was carrying a gun and I, I pull out my gun and I pretty much hanged

(07:37):
it over to him and he grabs the muscle of the gun.
Well not the muscle, the grip, my bad.
And I said, he grabs the grip, he puts down.
He's like, also give me your notebook.
And so that time, uh, I used to carry a notebook because I'm a, if I'm being honest, I'm a
pretty forgetful person.

(07:58):
So in every situation I was in, I will always write down notes, um, applications, people's
names, numbers, wherever it was.
And he told me, give me that too.
Cause I know, like, I know what you like, how you work with your things.
So give me your notebook.
And so I pull out a small notebook that I had, um, and I hang it over and he kind of

(08:19):
flips through it and it puts it down again.
And then he looks and he's like, all right kid.
So since you're not even like, you're not even 18 yet and you've had to turn 18.
I'm like, yeah, I'll turn 18 in September.
Okay.

(08:41):
So you're not even like, you're not even an adult, young adult face, huh?
I'm like, no, not really.
Well, I was like, okay, here's what we're going to do.
What we're going to do is that we're going to let you go, but there is one condition.

(09:01):
And yeah, the condition was pretty much that if I was ever to go back, um, to, or attempt
to go back to those, uh, those things, to the same group, to the same people, um, my
consequences would have been considered as treason.
And that's, uh, pretty much treason was considered as the biggest, um, biggest, like the biggest

(09:25):
betrayal that you can do to someone.
Of course, betrayal, treason, but then the punishment of course was really big, which
meant what torture.
And so yeah, like those people were no joke.
Um, those people, I met some people without fingers because of every single mistake they
made.
Uh, how many people were that lost their fingers just because they were late.
So, um, those things, those things are real.

(09:47):
Those things in your life are real.
Those, those, uh, those people out there are real too.
Um, now till this day, if I'm being honest, uh, even though I'm telling it just like a
casual story, um, if, um, I, it does kind of hurt some time to talk about it or just
even think about it because I still don't know to this day how I still, I'm still here.

(10:08):
I honestly do believe that I shouldn't be alive, but, um, if I'm still alive, then that
means God has something planned.
And if it does have something planned, that means I have a purpose.
Um, and, um, I then finally proceeded to have the opportunity to then receive my mission
calling.

(10:30):
And when I received my mission calling, I was called to Oklahoma.
So I actually proceeded to the Engel, uh, serve a two year mission Oklahoma, uh, actually
during, during the pandemic the entire time, but, um, it was actually one of the best,
uh, I would say it was the hardest two, uh, but also one of the best two years that I've
ever had to as well of like pretty much learning.

(10:50):
Um, but also help gave me a lot of time, especially because they were due to the pandemic.
You can't do much.
It gave me a lot of time to meditate.
It gave me a lot of time to really build a relationship with like Jesus Christ and my
heavenly father.
And they gave me the opportunity to also just, uh, like read the scriptures.
And now that like that's, you know, those things were done in two years.

(11:13):
When I came back home, I did realize that those things were like so important.
And even like, maybe I didn't tell like the entire thing.
I mean, they told like school, right?
But I feel like most people can relate mostly to school.
That's the reason why I don't touch the other topics, right?
But the fact that I didn't, I failed the fact that I didn't graduate and the fact that I

(11:36):
like dropped out of high school and then the fact that I was going through some personal
problems and then at that time, of course, uh, family was having financial issues and
there was a lot of things going on.
Um, and the fact that I kept failing and even though I was doing my very best, I did not
feel capable yet.
Uh, God was there the entire time, even though maybe I didn't notice.

(11:59):
And now that I look back, I do realize that he was there along the way and that if it
wasn't because of him, uh, one, I wouldn't have passed high school and two, I really
wouldn't be alive, uh, due to the dumb decisions that I made when I was younger.
And since that's the case, you know, I think that is, I think that sometimes we just don't

(12:23):
tend to see those things in the present, which makes sense because you're living, you're
living the experience, right?
At the moment.
But now that I look back, I really felt left out.
I feel like God left me.
I felt like God just betrayed me.
I felt like God just like left me in a dirt.
He's like, Hey, you're like, really don't matter.
Um, and I felt like that for so many years, but when I finally got to make the decision

(12:50):
to build a relationship with heavenly father, he helped me realize that that was not true.
Right.
And so he helped me realize that I was genuinely, I genuinely had love.
Um, and he genuinely loved me and that he cared about for me.
And he literally just took care of me the entire time.
Even though I was making the wrong decisions, uh, he was giving me a chance over and over

(13:13):
and over and over every single day.
Um, to the point where I got to the point where I just finally got out of that place,
you could say not a literal place, but you know, get out of that certain situations that
were going on.
Um, and I think that's honestly, um, I never told not even my parents what things that
happened, but I do think that I do think that is very important to, to, to realize that

(13:44):
when we do feel alone, when we do feel like betrayed and maybe you feel like God doesn't
want you or you just feel that God doesn't love you.
Uh, I do think that, um, I think you should rethink it.
It's better said than done, but at least from my personal experience, I can say for a fact

(14:04):
that that's not true.
I can tell you for a fact that he did the total opposite.
Matter of fact, he took away some things from me in order for me to be okay.
And then he actually did some things for me, for me to just continue.
He had the path prepare.
And so that's really like one of the biggest lessons I learned to understand that, you

(14:27):
know, God was never my enemy.
He was more my friend the entire time and I was just being ignorant and prideful.
And really, the Atomic Jesus Christ is like one of the biggest things I've ever learned
in my life.
I think it's marvelous.
And I think people just think it's repentance.
The Atomic Jesus Christ is so much deeper than that.
You can like learn so much from it.

(14:49):
But honestly, for like people that struggle with that, I do believe that you can definitely
have one, you can have a relationship with Heavenly Father, no matter in what situation
you are.
And two, he will make the impossible, even though it may seem impossible whatever situation
you're going through, he will make the impossible happen.
But it's kind of a long story, not too detailed, but I only wanted to say more of like the

(15:14):
actual things that people can relate to.
And yeah, that's just like my story.
This story arc is a production of Food for Thought Audio.
This episode is written, produced and edited by me, Kenny Mears.

(15:37):
We'd like to thank today's storyteller, Mahanrai, for sharing his story.
Be sure to follow us on Facebook, YouTube or Instagram or wherever you listen to podcasts
for more content.
And until next time, thanks for listening.