Ep: 195 The Gratitude-Resilience Connection: Building Mental Strength Through Thankfulness

What if a few quiet moments each day could help your child bounce back faster, sleep more easily, and feel steadier in their own skin? In this episode we share a few ways that gratitude can flip the nervous system from fight-or-flight into rest-and-digest. Drawing from research at UCLA, USC, and studies by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, we connect the dots between gratitude, emotional regulation, resilience, and long-term health.

I walk through the brain science in clear, friendly language: where gratitude lights up neural networks and why that matters for stressed families, and how parasympathetic activation invites better focus and calmer choices. Then we get practical. You’ll learn the Three Moments ritual that fits in the car, at dinner, or before bed, plus Three Happy Things And One Thank You—scripts kids and teens will actually answer. We show how to blend gratitude with one strength-based question so children name something hard and how they got through it, building a durable narrative of resilience.

You’ll also hear why a simple gratitude jar can anchor the habit on tough days, how ending on a high note supports sleep, and what studies say about benefits like improved immune function and lower inflammation. We close with a short guided pause so you can feel gratitude soften your body in real time. No perfection required—consistency, warmth, and low pressure make this work.

If this episode brings a little more ease to your home, share it with another parent who needs a calm boost, then subscribe, leave a review, and join the email list for more research-backed tools you can use today.

Sources:

Systematic Review on Physical Health Outcomes PubMed

UCLA Health – Health Benefits of Gratitude UCLA Health

Greater Good Science Center (Berkeley) – Gratitude and Sleep / Inflammation Greater Good

Meta-Analysis on Psychological Well-Being Proof Positive

Randomized Controlled Trial (6-Month Follow-Up) SpringerLink

Original Experimental Gratitude Study (McCullough & Emmons) wisebrain.org

Physiological / Biomarker Evidence AHP

Behavioral/Relationship Benefits Greater Good

Lindsay Miller is a distinguished kids mindfulness coach, mindfulness educator and host of The Stress Nanny Podcast. She is known for her suitcase tricks and playful laugh. When she's not cheering on her daughter or rollerblading on local trails with her husband, you can find her using her 20+ years of child development study and mindfulness certification to dream up new ways to get kids excited about deep breathing. Having been featured on numerous podcasts, platforms and publications, Lindsay’s words of wisdom are high impact and leave a lasting impression wherever she goes.

To sign up for Lindsay's "Calm & Collected" Newsletter click here.

To review the podcast click here.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:20):
Welcome to the Stress Nanny, the podcast where
we take the overwhelm out ofparenting and help kids and
parents build calm, confidence,and connection.
I'm your host, Lindsay Miller,Kids Mindfulness Coach and
Cheerleader for Busy FamiliesEverywhere.
Each week we'll explore simpletools, uplifting stories, and
practical strategies to helpyour child learn emotional

(00:42):
regulation, resilience, andself-confidence, while giving
you a little more peace of mindtoo.
I'm so glad you're here.
Hello, my friends, and welcomeback to the Stress Nanny, the
podcast where we break downemotional skills into simple,
doable moments you can weaveinto everyday life.
I'm Lindsay Miller, and todaywe're going to explore one of my

(01:03):
all-time favorite tools forraising resilient, steady,
joy-filled kids, and also forkeeping ourselves steady in the
process.
We're talking about gratitude,but not the pressure-filled, be
grateful kind of gratitude.
The gentle, grounded kind thatgrows naturally and feels really
good in your body.
The kind that research tells ushas ripple effects into

(01:24):
resilience, happiness, andlong-term health.
So get cozy, take a deep breath,and let's dive in.
So gratitude is one of thosepractices that seems simple, and
it is, but it's alsosurprisingly powerful.
Research from UCLA and USC showsthat when we practice gratitude,
the brain lights up in regionsassociated with emotional

(01:45):
regulation and rewardprocessing.
It's like giving the nervoussystem a warm, calming hug.
And here's the part I loveconsistent gratitude practice
activates the parasympatheticnervous system.
So the rest and digest state.
That means gratitude literallyshifts us out of stress mode and
into a place where we can thinkmore clearly, respond more

(02:05):
intentionally, and feel moregrounded.
Parents tell me all the timethat they want their kids to
handle stress better.
And gratitude is one of thesneakiest and sweetest ways to
help that happen.
One of my favorite researchfindings is about how gratitude
builds resilience.
It's from a study published inthe Journal of Personality and
Individual Differences, and itshows that gratitude helps kids

(02:28):
and adults bounce back fromchallenges more quickly.
And here's why.
Because gratitude trains thebrain to look for resources
instead of threats.
So when kids practice gratituderegularly, they start to build
an internal narrative thatsounds like hard things happen
and I still have support, tools,and strengths that help me
through.

(02:48):
And that mindset is the bedrockof resilience.
For high-achieving kids,gratitude creates emotional
balance.
For kids who struggle withregulation or who are wired
differently, gratitude builds asense of safety and capability.
It's not about ignoringproblems, it's about widening
the lens so the problem isn'tthe only thing in the frame.

(03:09):
You've probably heard thatgratitude makes people happier,
but let me give you the researchbehind that.
A well-known study from Dr.
Robert Emmons and Dr.
Michael McCullough found thatpeople who kept a brief weekly
gratitude journal reportedhigher levels of optimism,
better overall mood, a strongersense of connection, and
increased life satisfaction.

(03:29):
And here's the kicker, theyslept better too.
There's so many parents and kidsthat I talk to who want sleep to
have a little bit more ease intheir household.
And apparently the brain justloves ending the day on a high
note.
Kids especially benefit fromthese types of emotional boosts.
When gratitude becomes a familyrhythm, kids feel more connected
to us as parents, they feel morecapable about their own

(03:50):
abilities, and they're morecontent.
Happiness stops being somethingthat they chase and becomes
something that they generatefrom within.
And here are a few more healthbenefits that might surprise
you.
Multiple studies, includingthose from the American
Psychological Association, showthat gratitude is linked to
lower blood pressure, improvedimmune function, reduced

(04:12):
inflammation, and better sleep.
When the nervous system feelssafe, the body can restore,
repair, and regulate.
And gratitude is one of thegentlest ways to cue that shift
into parasympathetic dominance,like we talked about earlier.
And if you're raising kids whofeel overwhelmed easily or who
hang out in that fight or flightspace pretty often, gratitude

(04:34):
can be a great way to quietlysignal to the body, you're okay,
there's goodness here.
You know that I love sharingpractical ideas for how you can
apply these things at home.
So I'm going to give you acouple of practices that work
really well for teens and kids.
So there's a three momentsritual where maybe every evening
at dinner time or bedtime, youinvite your child into just a

(04:56):
moment of connection.
And it could be in the car, youknow, whenever it fits into your
day, you ask them to share threemoments from their day.
So a moment that felt good tothem, a moment that surprised
them, and a moment that they'regrateful for.
And these prompts gently stretchthe brain to notice not just
gratitude, but novelty andemotional awareness.

(05:17):
They teach kids there were goodthings about my day, there were
interesting things about my day,there were meaningful things
about my day, and I noticedthem.
This practice builds emotionalawareness, it strengthens the
nervous system in the ways we'vetalked about, and it rewires the
brain to look for the good, notin a forced way, but just in a
naturally curious, steady,regular, grounded way.

(05:39):
And if you skip a day, zeroguilt, the gratitude practice
grows best in a spacious, lowpressure environment.
So don't make it stressful, justmake it easy.
And then this is another thingyou could do if this script
feels a little bit easier toyou.
You could use something likethree happy things and one thank
you.
Again, you pick a time thatworks, and then you just say
something like, Okay, everybody,let's do our three happy things

(06:02):
in one thank you.
I'll say the prompts, and thenyou can tell me yours, or
whisper them, or yell them,whatever feels good.
Ready?
And then you ask, what werethree things that made you happy
today?
They can be big or small.
Obviously, you then wait for theanswers.
And then what is one thing orperson you really want to say
thank you for today?
Wait for the answers.

(06:22):
And then what is one way youfelt strong today or something
hard that you did?
Again, as you wait for theanswers, you recognize that that
question helps build resiliencebecause we're asking them to
name something challenging.
And then we're also asking themto talk about the way they were
able to make it through, alongwith talking about the
gratitude, which is going tobolster their resilience in the

(06:45):
other ways we've alreadymentioned.
And then we thank them forsharing.
You can also use a gratitudejar, something we've talked
about before.
I have a few other gratitudepractices that we've done here
on the podcast.
So when we can keep the processof sharing regular gratitude
short and sweet, we justconsistently point the brain in
that direction, right?

(07:06):
And then we have all thesebenefits that come as a result.
So I hope that in some small wayyou can build these gratitude
practices into your everydayrhythm.
So that gratitude isn't justsomething we're practicing on
Thanksgiving, but it's reallysomething that we're tuning into
on a daily basis so that we canget all the benefits that come
from having a regular attitudeof gratitude.

(07:28):
Before we wrap up, I want toinvite you to pause with me for
just a few seconds.
Take a deep breath in, let itgo.
Now just think of one person,one moment, or any one thing.
Maybe it's a mug you're holdingright now, maybe it's the
laughter of kids around you,maybe it's the fighting or
crying of kids around you, maybeit is the trip that you're about

(07:53):
to take, maybe it's the timewith family, whatever it is,
just notice something right nowin your environment that you're
grateful for.
And let your body just noticewhat that gratitude feels like.
The softening, the desire toexhale a little bit and release.

(08:15):
The sense that you're okay.
And that's the regulation,right?
That's the resilience, that'sthe science we were talking
about, working real time.
Thank you so much for spendingthis time with me today.
If you found the episodehelpful, I'd love for you to
share it with another parentwho's building a resilient,
emotionally healthy home.

(08:37):
And if you want more tools likethis, simple, research-backed,
and totally doable, you can jointhe email list, subscribe to the
podcast, find me on Instagram.
I'm always sharing new ways tohelp you and your kids stress
less and connect more.
Until next time, take good careof yourself.
Your nervous system.
Well, thank you.

(08:59):
Thanks for listening to theStress Nanny.
If you found today's episodehelpful, be sure to share it
with a friend who could use alittle extra calm in their week.
And if you have a minute, I'dlove for you to leave a review.
It helps other parents find theshow and join us on this
journey.
For more tools and support, headover to www.thestressnanny.com.
Remember, you don't have to dostress alone.

(09:21):
Together we can raise kids whoknow how to navigate life with
confidence and ease.
Until next time, take a deepbreath and give yourself some
grace.