July 31, 2025 • 19 mins
Motivation naturally ebbs and flows throughout our lives - especially during the school year. What if you could harness those high-motivation moments to make the inevitable low-energy times easier? That's exactly what mindful motivation allows us to do.
This final episode in our summer skills series explores four practical strategies to leverage your back-to-school energy surge for long-term success. When we recognize the natural cycle of motivation, we can practice a profound form of self-compassion: letting our present motivated self take concrete actions that will support our future less-motivated self.
First, I share how spending just 30-60 minutes getting a high-level view of your calendar can transform your experience of the next several months. Next, we explore how creating space for children to express their school-related worries now prevents emotional buildup later. The third strategy involves helping kids envision their potential and growth, shifting from past struggles to future possibilities. Finally, we look at how being intentional about school preparations can build intrinsic motivation and autonomy.
These mindfulness techniques aren't about pushing yourself beyond capacity - if you're feeling depleted right now, simply tuck these ideas away for when your motivation naturally rises again. The beauty of mindfulness isn't just being present in the moment; it's also using present awareness to care for your future self.
Ready to bring more mindfulness to your family's back-to-school transition? Listen now for practical tips you can implement right away, whether you're riding a wave of motivation or simply surviving summer.
For our Summer Skills Series Episodes, click on the topic you're interested in below:
Can a Redo help during reactive moments? Yes!
Master the Art of Active Listening
What if discouragement is just a feeling, not an identity? The power of a reframe.
For a calendar that covers the holidays at a glance, click here.
To learn more about mindfulness coaching click here.
Lindsay Miller is a distinguished kids mindfulness coach, mindfulness educator and host of The Stress Nanny Podcast. She is known for her suitcase tricks and playful laugh. When she's not cheering on her daughter or rollerblading on local trails with her husband, you can find her using her 20+ years of child development study and mindfulness certification to dream up new ways to get kids excited about deep breathing. Having been featured on numerous podcasts, platforms and publications, Lindsay’s words of wisdom are high impact and leave a lasting impression wherever she goes.
To sign up for Lindsay's "Calm & Collected" Newsletter click here.
To review the podcast click here.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
You're listening to the Stress Nanny Podcast and I'm
your host, lindsay Miller.
I'm here to help you keep aneye on your family's stress
levels.
In our fast-paced lives, theability to manage stress has
never been more important forkids or adults.
When it comes to stress, wehave two choices we can decrease
stress or increase ourresilience to it.
Here on the number eight rankedstress podcast, I interview
(00:29):
experts and share insights tohelp you do both.
When you tune in each week,you'll bring your stress levels
down and your resilience up sothat stress doesn't get in the
way of you living your best life.
I'm so glad you're here.
Welcome to this last episode ofour summer skills podcast,
where we've been talking aboutsimple ways you can incorporate
(00:51):
mindfulness into your summerroutine so that it's easier to
use mindfulness during the year.
We've covered the redo, activelistening and reframing over the
past few weeks and today I'mgoing to share some practical
tips around mindful motivation.
As humans, our motivation ebbsand flows.
When we are experiencingmoments of high motivation, it
(01:13):
can be helpful to set ourselvesup for success in the inevitable
low motivation moments.
That way, in our more chill orrelaxed times, instead of being
frustrated that we're not atlevel 10 motivation.
We can just look back and thankour really motivated self for
taking good care of our lessmotivated self.
This insight in and of itselfis important because it allows
(01:35):
us to practice understanding andcompassion for ourselves and
for others when motivationfluctuates.
So if we're mindful or presentwith this tendency to have
moments of high motivation andlow motivation, we can set
ourselves up for success bytaking a few extra steps to make
tasks easier in the long run.
This is how we use motivationmindfully.
(01:57):
As we wrap up summer and beginto prepare for the school year,
a lot of us feel a kind ofpreparatory energy around the
school year and instead of justdoing the basics, we can
leverage that motivation to helpus just do a few simple extra
things.
That will add some steadinessdespite our fluctuating
motivation levels over the nextcouple of months.
Today we'll talk through fourways we can mindfully capitalize
(02:20):
on new school year motivation.
And don't worry, I recognizethat every summer is different
and some of us might be rollinginto the new school year on our
last energetic reserves.
If you're at a moment wheremotivation is ebbing, feel free
to stick these ideas in yourback pocket for a time when
they're resonant.
Don't think that I'm asking youto run faster than you feel
able to at this moment.
(02:41):
Okay, so the first idea is toget a high level view of the
rest of the school year.
If you take 30 to 60 minutes tojust figure out what's going to
be happening over the nextcouple of months, it makes such
a massive difference in howthose months flow.
We've been doing this in ourhouse this week as the sports
orchestra, sat and schoolschedules have rolled in and I
(03:03):
feel so organized when I knowhow the next few months are
shaping up.
I feel at odds and kind ofchaotic when all those details
are scattered, but when I cansynthesize them I feel a lot
more at ease and that easecarries me through months.
So the 30 to 60 minutes, it'sworth it.
Many of you know that my othercompany is the Essential
Calendar and it's a powerfullysimple tool that helps families
(03:26):
get organized.
My dear friend Crystal made thefirst calendar years ago when
our kids were tiny, and Iremember a conversation we had
at our little subdivision parkwhere she was explaining how she
made a simple grid calendarwhere the months flowed together
and she could see a wholeseason at a glance.
And as we're like pushing ourkids on the swings, she's
talking to me about how amazingthis calendar was, and at first
(03:46):
I was kind of confused by herenthusiasm because I was like
it's a calendar, we all havecalendars.
But a few weeks later shebrought over one of these
calendars she's made for me totry, telling me it would make
such a big difference.
I'd just been using my monthlycalendar and didn't think it
would be much of a change, but Itried it anyway and I was
totally floored at how lookingat the months a little
(04:07):
differently made a massiveimpact on our experience.
I loved being able to see howall the months and activities
fit together, especially duringthe crazy busy stretch of back
to school Halloween,thanksgiving, christmas and New
Year's.
I have not been able to use amonthly calendar since, and I
loved it so much that Crystaland I made a website and now we
(04:27):
share this tool with thousandsof families around the world.
Everybody has their own method,but I love our calendar because
I can just pull out my phonewith all the appointments that I
have in there the schoolcalendar, the sports schedules
and I just color code my littleheart out to get a glimpse of
how we'll roll through the restof 2025.
If you want an essentialcalendar which is simple and
beautiful enough to prominentlydisplay thanks to Crystal's
(04:49):
design genius, I'll link to itin the show notes.
We'd love to send you one andyou can use the code STRESSNANNY
for 25% off.
However you make it happen,give yourself the gift of
sorting out some of the detailsfor the rest of 2025.
You can look at trips, holidayplans, times when you need some
space, and that's actually oneof my favorite things about
calendaring this way.
Once the calendar starts tofill up, I get pretty particular
(05:13):
about the open space and I'mhesitant to add more if I don't
have to.
I know sometimes it can't beavoided, but there are times
when we can really do ourselvesa favor by checking on where our
open spaces are and leavingthem open, so we build in some
relaxation and some downtimeduring those crazy months where
there's so much going on.
(05:33):
If you just sit down and takeseriously less than an hour,
your future self will thank you.
So that's my first mindfulmotivation tip.
The second one ties in some ofthe other skills we've been
working on this month.
If you missed those, I'll linkto them in the show notes.
This is where we're helping ourkids understand what they're
feeling and, instead of holdingall those feelings in and having
(05:56):
them explode out right whenschool's starting, we're like
letting those feelings emerge asthey're feeling them and we're
helping kids work through themreal time, so those anxieties
and worries don't build up whenit comes to like school or
friendships or new fallactivities.
A lot of times right now incoaching, I'm hearing phrases
like I'm worried about or Idon't know if, or like I don't
(06:21):
I'm not sure my friend is.
You know, fill in the blank,anxiety by definition is
uncertainty about the future,and anytime we're starting
something new we feel a lot ofuncertainty.
As parents, we often want tohelp our kids move through that
feeling as soon as possiblebecause we want them to be
confident and it's hard to seeour kids vulnerable.
(06:42):
But if we can take a minute tolisten to those worries and help
kids get specific about whatthey're worried about, then we
have a lot of information we canuse as we help them prepare for
school over the next few weeksand we allow them to voice those
worries instead of bottlingthem up.
Our brains are like magnifyingglasses or flashlights, so they
(07:03):
will look for what we tell themto look for.
So if you know what worriesyour child, like magnifying
glasses or flashlights, so theywill look for what we tell them
to look for.
So if you know what worriesyour child is magnifying
currently, you can acknowledge,normalize and validate those
worries with phrases like I hearyou, when we start something
new, there's a lot ofuncertainty, because they may
not recognize that uncertaintyis what they're feeling.
Or say something like that'sgreat self-awareness.
(07:24):
It makes sense that you'refeeling nervous.
Or say something like that'sgreat self-awareness.
It makes sense that you'refeeling nervous about starting
middle school with a whole newspace and a whole new teachers
and a whole new routine.
Then, once we have more specificinformation about what they're
concerned about, we can look formoments to help them build
confidence.
And that's where we're helpingthem reframe.
So we're shifting from how theyfeel.
Once we've acknowledged andvalidated it, it's easier for
(07:46):
them to let it go.
But until we've acknowledgedand validated, like we've talked
about, it's kind of like tryingto hold a beach ball underwater
and it's going to pop upsomewhere, right.
So if all those feelings arejust like just under the surface
but they're not gettingcommunicated in some way shape
or form, then when they do havea moment where something big
happens, all those feelings tendto come up at once.
(08:07):
So if we can slowly help themwork through those feelings
before school starts, hopefullythey'll be in a better position
to flow through whatever otherfeelings come up at the moment,
instead of having this backlogof feelings they've got to work
through.
This other part is helping themto see themselves differently.
So once we've unearthed howthey're feeling and they're free
(08:29):
to shift their attention tosomething else because their
brain isn't hyper-focused on it,then they start to see.
They're open to seeing otherthings.
So instead of seeing only theunknown about a new teacher, we
can help them reflect back onother moments when they had a
new teacher and it worked outgreat.
Or we can help them look atexperiences they've had over the
(08:50):
summer that illustrate bravery.
Summer's often full of newadventures and there are plenty
of opportunities to highlightcourage.
And when we can help them seetheir courage, resilience or
bravery and make that a part oflike how they see themselves,
then we can help them recognizethat they've been uncertain
before and handled it and theycan do it again.
So when we help theminternalize those moments of
(09:13):
bravery.
We can refer back to thosemoments throughout the school
year when motivation or courageare low.
But that starts with us justtaking like a minute to prep
them for the school yearemotionally with like these
moments of conversation.
So in all of our new schoolyear energy allow yourself to
(09:33):
lean into like the emotionalmoments in a way that, like
maybe in the thick of homeworkand driving kids from practices
and being exhausted and tryingto make dinner it's kind of hard
to do In summer we can do someof that prep work right and
start those conversations now sothat in the crazy moments of
the school year we're justsaying like remember strong
(09:55):
Sadie who did a swim meet forthe very first time, or remember
when John was on the go-kartand was a little nervous but
decided it was going to be morefun if he gave it a try and so
he went for it and loved it.
Those are the things we canrefer to quickly when we've had
these kind of like foundationalconversations.
The third way we can usemotivation mindfully is an
(10:18):
extension of this courageconversation.
One of the things I noticedabout kids is that they tend to
remember past struggles andassume they will face similar
challenges in the present.
While there's definitely wisdomin learning from the past and
our brains are designed toremember and avoid hard things,
it can be helpful to invite kidsto see their growth and
envision their potential.
(10:39):
So once we've kind of assagedsome of the worries that they
have, we can take it next leveland help them start to consider
what's possible.
So this week a lot of mymindfulness kids are doing a
visioning project where we thinkabout the version of themselves
that they want to be as theystart school.
While we can't magically fixstruggles, we can begin to
(11:01):
consider a future where thestruggles are different or where
we've grown in a way that makesthose struggles much smaller.
One phrase in particular that Iuse with my mindfulness kids is
I've put a lot of effort andenergy into learning to manage
big feelings, so I'm going to beokay.
Or it's possible that I'vechanged, or the situation has
(11:22):
changed, or, as one of mymindfulness kids puts it, it
will probably be a whole lotless terrifying than I'm
imagining it to be.
And then another one of mypersonal favorites there's
evidence that I can rely onmyself to get through anything
when kids can practiceself-awareness and see
themselves in these new ways,whether it's through coaching,
(11:44):
conversations with you orcourageous moments.
They're willing to consider afuture where their strengths can
shine through in any struggle.
But those conversations onlyhappen if we curb our tendency
to say don't worry about thatand instead say tell me more
about that.
And then invite them toconsider some of the things
we've talked about here, likewhat the feeling is, what
(12:05):
specifically they're concernedabout, what evidence we have
that they have shown bravery orcourage in a similar moment, or
how they see themselves to bethis year, what's possible given
their potential.
And again, I think that thevisioning of potential is much
easier after we've alreadyhelped them manage the big
(12:26):
feelings, because when we'refeeling scared and nervous, the
nervous system isn't in aposition to get curious and
creative about what's possiblebecause it's contracted and
tense.
So once we've helped them movethrough those feelings and move
into a more open space, thenthey're more willing to consider
what's possible.
And then my fourth mindfulmotivation tip is to be
(12:48):
intentional about school prep.
When we're out scouring theaisles of Walmart or Office
Depot for the items on thematerial list, we can take a few
extra minutes to find itemsthat feel joyful or fun and
those extra minutes are going topay off throughout the whole
school year.
Right, and I know, while in themiddle of a Walmart aisle it
(13:13):
can be tricky to like find extraenergy.
Taking the time to do this andhelp your child find items that
spark joy will have a lastingimpact on your child's
experience during the schoolyear, because they use those
items every day.
Earlier this month, one of myclients sent me a text about the
textured breathing stripstickers at Walmart, and all my
mindfulness coaching clients aregetting those this month.
I also love using the CalmStrip brand for that, so that's
(13:36):
another option.
These textured breathingstickers are a great way to
invite kids to presence during aboring lecture, a fidgety
elementary school moment or astressful test.
I encourage my kids to find aplace to put them that will be
close by, so maybe on a waterbottle, on a folder or on a desk
if their teacher is super cool.
They come off with somedissolvent, you know, at the end
(13:57):
of the year, but some teachersare game for that and some are
not, so check with your teacherfirst and use a water bottle or
folder if it's a no-go on thedesk first and use a water
bottle or folder if it's a no-goon the desk For older kids.
We also want to talk about pencolors or designs on folders or
potentially spending an extradollar or two on really cute
dividers.
That will bring a smile for thenext nine months and give our
(14:18):
child a sense of, like, autonomyand self-awareness in terms of
what organizational tools workfor them.
One of the things that we oftensee with school is the like
extrinsic motivation drives alot of behavior, right.
So the external things aregrades and teachers and parents
driving behavior.
But if we can add a few thingsthat kids are excited about, it
(14:41):
can help them with a sense ofintrinsic motivation because
they have some say in situation.
Right, it's not somethinghappening to them, they're
actively participating increating it and I know it sounds
funny to think that dividers ora cool folder or binder would
be supportive of that.
But really like when we putkids in the brain space where
they're feeling a sense ofautonomy and ownership that can
(15:05):
carry through in other momentsin really cool ways.
Another thing I like to do atthis time of year is looking at
like what needs to happen beforeschool starts, because if we
can ease into that, it's goingto be a lot easier than if we
were like racing into the finishand I've had a lot of years
when I'm just racing into thefinish because I'm just
surviving.
So I totally get that.
(15:26):
But if we know there arecertain things that need to be
done before the school yearstarts, we can make some
reminder posters.
At our house we like to usethose big post-it sheets that go
on the wall, like the reallyhuge poster size ones, and then
we make lists, we make timelinesof what needs to happen before
school starts or we use those atfinals time.
(15:47):
At our house right now theposter has big circles and
correlating tasks like Viola,sat prep crew, soccer and the
Great Gatsby, and then each timethere's time spent on one of
those tasks we add a smallsticker dot to the big circle
next to it, and as the start ofthe school year gets closer we
want to see those circles almostfull of sticker dots and
(16:10):
that'll be a sign that we'reprepared and we've done what we
need to do before gettingstarted.
Any kind of visual to help kidssee what needs to happen or, you
know, as a reminder of thethings that they're doing in
preparation for the school yearcan go a long way toward making
the start of the school yearhave a little bit more flow and
(16:30):
a little less chaos.
You could use any project orpreparatory task in a similar
way by helping kids come up withsome sort of visual that they
have ownership of and thatsupports the kind of behavior
that they need to have goinginto the year, whether it's
practicing an instrument youknow, doing summer reading,
whatever.
So every summer is different.
(16:51):
And again, if you're feelinglike exhausted right now and
just worn out, I totally get itand just keep these ideas in
your back pocket for anothertime, if you have the motivation
and energy and you're somebodywho gets excited about the
school year and is just ready tokind of dive in, use some of
these ideas and see how itserves you going into the next
(17:13):
couple of months.
One of the things I love aboutmindfulness is that it gives us
opportunity to care for ourfuture self if we let it.
So we're really present rightnow, but oftentimes those really
present actions serve far intothe future.
So if you can take the time tobe present in getting school
supplies, in getting a highlevel view of the rest of the
(17:34):
year, in listening to kids talkthrough worries and then
encouraging them to see theirfuture confident, courageous
self.
To see their future confident,courageous self.
You will be served by thoseactions for quite some time.
For those of us who are ridinga motivational wave, we can take
advantage of that energymindfully and set ourselves up
for the next few months withthese simple yet high impact
(17:56):
actions as we lean into thatback to school energy.
If you need a calendar, I'vegot a cute one that covers Labor
Day to New Year's attheessentialcalendarcom and we
have all the color codingaccessories you can dream of
over there.
If you need a mindfulness coachfor a worried or high
performing, high tension kid,I've got you covered there too.
Mindfulness coaching is half anhour a week and it makes a big
(18:20):
difference because weconsistently practice these
types of tools and we invitekids to change the way they see
themselves by practicing thetools building self-awareness,
working through emotion andlearning how to self-regulate.
If you just need a few phrasesor ideas, feel free to use the
ones in this show to help youtake a mindful approach to your
back to school preparations.
(18:40):
You've just finished an episodeof the Stress Nanny podcast, so
hopefully you feel a littlemore empowered when it comes to
dealing with stress.
Feel free to take a deep breathand let it out slowly as you go
back to your day.
I'm so glad you're here.
If you're a longtime listener,thank you so much for your
support.
It really means the world to me.
(19:01):
If you're new, I'd love to haveyou follow the podcast and join
me each week, and no matter howlong you've been listening.
Please share this episode withsomeone who is stressed out.
If you enjoyed the show, wouldyou please do me a favor and go
to rate this podcastcom.
Slash the stress nanny andleave a review.
The link is in the show notes.
I'm so grateful for all mylisteners.
(19:21):
Thank you again for being here.
Until next time.
You're listening to the Stress Nanny Podcast and I'm
your host, lindsay Miller.
I'm here to help you keep aneye on your family's stress
levels.
In our fast-paced lives, theability to manage stress has
never been more important forkids or adults.
When it comes to stress, wehave two choices we can decrease
stress or increase ourresilience to it.
Here on the number eight rankedstress podcast, I interview
(00:29):
experts and share insights tohelp you do both.
When you tune in each week,you'll bring your stress levels
down and your resilience up sothat stress doesn't get in the
way of you living your best life.
I'm so glad you're here.
Welcome to this last episode ofour summer skills podcast,
where we've been talking aboutsimple ways you can incorporate
(00:51):
mindfulness into your summerroutine so that it's easier to
use mindfulness during the year.
We've covered the redo, activelistening and reframing over the
past few weeks and today I'mgoing to share some practical
tips around mindful motivation.
As humans, our motivation ebbsand flows.
When we are experiencingmoments of high motivation, it
(01:13):
can be helpful to set ourselvesup for success in the inevitable
low motivation moments.
That way, in our more chill orrelaxed times, instead of being
frustrated that we're not atlevel 10 motivation.
We can just look back and thankour really motivated self for
taking good care of our lessmotivated self.
This insight in and of itselfis important because it allows
(01:35):
us to practice understanding andcompassion for ourselves and
for others when motivationfluctuates.
So if we're mindful or presentwith this tendency to have
moments of high motivation andlow motivation, we can set
ourselves up for success bytaking a few extra steps to make
tasks easier in the long run.
This is how we use motivationmindfully.
(01:57):
As we wrap up summer and beginto prepare for the school year,
a lot of us feel a kind ofpreparatory energy around the
school year and instead of justdoing the basics, we can
leverage that motivation to helpus just do a few simple extra
things.
That will add some steadinessdespite our fluctuating
motivation levels over the nextcouple of months.
Today we'll talk through fourways we can mindfully capitalize
(02:20):
on new school year motivation.
And don't worry, I recognizethat every summer is different
and some of us might be rollinginto the new school year on our
last energetic reserves.
If you're at a moment wheremotivation is ebbing, feel free
to stick these ideas in yourback pocket for a time when
they're resonant.
Don't think that I'm asking youto run faster than you feel
able to at this moment.
(02:41):
Okay, so the first idea is toget a high level view of the
rest of the school year.
If you take 30 to 60 minutes tojust figure out what's going to
be happening over the nextcouple of months, it makes such
a massive difference in howthose months flow.
We've been doing this in ourhouse this week as the sports
orchestra, sat and schoolschedules have rolled in and I
(03:03):
feel so organized when I knowhow the next few months are
shaping up.
I feel at odds and kind ofchaotic when all those details
are scattered, but when I cansynthesize them I feel a lot
more at ease and that easecarries me through months.
So the 30 to 60 minutes, it'sworth it.
Many of you know that my othercompany is the Essential
Calendar and it's a powerfullysimple tool that helps families
(03:26):
get organized.
My dear friend Crystal made thefirst calendar years ago when
our kids were tiny, and Iremember a conversation we had
at our little subdivision parkwhere she was explaining how she
made a simple grid calendarwhere the months flowed together
and she could see a wholeseason at a glance.
And as we're like pushing ourkids on the swings, she's
talking to me about how amazingthis calendar was, and at first
(03:46):
I was kind of confused by herenthusiasm because I was like
it's a calendar, we all havecalendars.
But a few weeks later shebrought over one of these
calendars she's made for me totry, telling me it would make
such a big difference.
I'd just been using my monthlycalendar and didn't think it
would be much of a change, but Itried it anyway and I was
totally floored at how lookingat the months a little
(04:07):
differently made a massiveimpact on our experience.
I loved being able to see howall the months and activities
fit together, especially duringthe crazy busy stretch of back
to school Halloween,thanksgiving, christmas and New
Year's.
I have not been able to use amonthly calendar since, and I
loved it so much that Crystaland I made a website and now we
(04:27):
share this tool with thousandsof families around the world.
Everybody has their own method,but I love our calendar because
I can just pull out my phonewith all the appointments that I
have in there the schoolcalendar, the sports schedules
and I just color code my littleheart out to get a glimpse of
how we'll roll through the restof 2025.
If you want an essentialcalendar which is simple and
beautiful enough to prominentlydisplay thanks to Crystal's
(04:49):
design genius, I'll link to itin the show notes.
We'd love to send you one andyou can use the code STRESSNANNY
for 25% off.
However you make it happen,give yourself the gift of
sorting out some of the detailsfor the rest of 2025.
You can look at trips, holidayplans, times when you need some
space, and that's actually oneof my favorite things about
calendaring this way.
Once the calendar starts tofill up, I get pretty particular
(05:13):
about the open space and I'mhesitant to add more if I don't
have to.
I know sometimes it can't beavoided, but there are times
when we can really do ourselvesa favor by checking on where our
open spaces are and leavingthem open, so we build in some
relaxation and some downtimeduring those crazy months where
there's so much going on.
(05:33):
If you just sit down and takeseriously less than an hour,
your future self will thank you.
So that's my first mindfulmotivation tip.
The second one ties in some ofthe other skills we've been
working on this month.
If you missed those, I'll linkto them in the show notes.
This is where we're helping ourkids understand what they're
feeling and, instead of holdingall those feelings in and having
(05:56):
them explode out right whenschool's starting, we're like
letting those feelings emerge asthey're feeling them and we're
helping kids work through themreal time, so those anxieties
and worries don't build up whenit comes to like school or
friendships or new fallactivities.
A lot of times right now incoaching, I'm hearing phrases
like I'm worried about or Idon't know if, or like I don't
(06:21):
I'm not sure my friend is.
You know, fill in the blank,anxiety by definition is
uncertainty about the future,and anytime we're starting
something new we feel a lot ofuncertainty.
As parents, we often want tohelp our kids move through that
feeling as soon as possiblebecause we want them to be
confident and it's hard to seeour kids vulnerable.
(06:42):
But if we can take a minute tolisten to those worries and help
kids get specific about whatthey're worried about, then we
have a lot of information we canuse as we help them prepare for
school over the next few weeksand we allow them to voice those
worries instead of bottlingthem up.
Our brains are like magnifyingglasses or flashlights, so they
(07:03):
will look for what we tell themto look for.
So if you know what worriesyour child, like magnifying
glasses or flashlights, so theywill look for what we tell them
to look for.
So if you know what worriesyour child is magnifying
currently, you can acknowledge,normalize and validate those
worries with phrases like I hearyou, when we start something
new, there's a lot ofuncertainty, because they may
not recognize that uncertaintyis what they're feeling.
Or say something like that'sgreat self-awareness.
(07:24):
It makes sense that you'refeeling nervous.
Or say something like that'sgreat self-awareness.
It makes sense that you'refeeling nervous about starting
middle school with a whole newspace and a whole new teachers
and a whole new routine.
Then, once we have more specificinformation about what they're
concerned about, we can look formoments to help them build
confidence.
And that's where we're helpingthem reframe.
So we're shifting from how theyfeel.
Once we've acknowledged andvalidated it, it's easier for
(07:46):
them to let it go.
But until we've acknowledgedand validated, like we've talked
about, it's kind of like tryingto hold a beach ball underwater
and it's going to pop upsomewhere, right.
So if all those feelings arejust like just under the surface
but they're not gettingcommunicated in some way shape
or form, then when they do havea moment where something big
happens, all those feelings tendto come up at once.
(08:07):
So if we can slowly help themwork through those feelings
before school starts, hopefullythey'll be in a better position
to flow through whatever otherfeelings come up at the moment,
instead of having this backlogof feelings they've got to work
through.
This other part is helping themto see themselves differently.
So once we've unearthed howthey're feeling and they're free
(08:29):
to shift their attention tosomething else because their
brain isn't hyper-focused on it,then they start to see.
They're open to seeing otherthings.
So instead of seeing only theunknown about a new teacher, we
can help them reflect back onother moments when they had a
new teacher and it worked outgreat.
Or we can help them look atexperiences they've had over the
(08:50):
summer that illustrate bravery.
Summer's often full of newadventures and there are plenty
of opportunities to highlightcourage.
And when we can help them seetheir courage, resilience or
bravery and make that a part oflike how they see themselves,
then we can help them recognizethat they've been uncertain
before and handled it and theycan do it again.
So when we help theminternalize those moments of
(09:13):
bravery.
We can refer back to thosemoments throughout the school
year when motivation or courageare low.
But that starts with us justtaking like a minute to prep
them for the school yearemotionally with like these
moments of conversation.
So in all of our new schoolyear energy allow yourself to
(09:33):
lean into like the emotionalmoments in a way that, like
maybe in the thick of homeworkand driving kids from practices
and being exhausted and tryingto make dinner it's kind of hard
to do In summer we can do someof that prep work right and
start those conversations now sothat in the crazy moments of
the school year we're justsaying like remember strong
(09:55):
Sadie who did a swim meet forthe very first time, or remember
when John was on the go-kartand was a little nervous but
decided it was going to be morefun if he gave it a try and so
he went for it and loved it.
Those are the things we canrefer to quickly when we've had
these kind of like foundationalconversations.
The third way we can usemotivation mindfully is an
(10:18):
extension of this courageconversation.
One of the things I noticedabout kids is that they tend to
remember past struggles andassume they will face similar
challenges in the present.
While there's definitely wisdomin learning from the past and
our brains are designed toremember and avoid hard things,
it can be helpful to invite kidsto see their growth and
envision their potential.
(10:39):
So once we've kind of assagedsome of the worries that they
have, we can take it next leveland help them start to consider
what's possible.
So this week a lot of mymindfulness kids are doing a
visioning project where we thinkabout the version of themselves
that they want to be as theystart school.
While we can't magically fixstruggles, we can begin to
(11:01):
consider a future where thestruggles are different or where
we've grown in a way that makesthose struggles much smaller.
One phrase in particular that Iuse with my mindfulness kids is
I've put a lot of effort andenergy into learning to manage
big feelings, so I'm going to beokay.
Or it's possible that I'vechanged, or the situation has
(11:22):
changed, or, as one of mymindfulness kids puts it, it
will probably be a whole lotless terrifying than I'm
imagining it to be.
And then another one of mypersonal favorites there's
evidence that I can rely onmyself to get through anything
when kids can practiceself-awareness and see
themselves in these new ways,whether it's through coaching,
(11:44):
conversations with you orcourageous moments.
They're willing to consider afuture where their strengths can
shine through in any struggle.
But those conversations onlyhappen if we curb our tendency
to say don't worry about thatand instead say tell me more
about that.
And then invite them toconsider some of the things
we've talked about here, likewhat the feeling is, what
(12:05):
specifically they're concernedabout, what evidence we have
that they have shown bravery orcourage in a similar moment, or
how they see themselves to bethis year, what's possible given
their potential.
And again, I think that thevisioning of potential is much
easier after we've alreadyhelped them manage the big
(12:26):
feelings, because when we'refeeling scared and nervous, the
nervous system isn't in aposition to get curious and
creative about what's possiblebecause it's contracted and
tense.
So once we've helped them movethrough those feelings and move
into a more open space, thenthey're more willing to consider
what's possible.
And then my fourth mindfulmotivation tip is to be
(12:48):
intentional about school prep.
When we're out scouring theaisles of Walmart or Office
Depot for the items on thematerial list, we can take a few
extra minutes to find itemsthat feel joyful or fun and
those extra minutes are going topay off throughout the whole
school year.
Right, and I know, while in themiddle of a Walmart aisle it
(13:13):
can be tricky to like find extraenergy.
Taking the time to do this andhelp your child find items that
spark joy will have a lastingimpact on your child's
experience during the schoolyear, because they use those
items every day.
Earlier this month, one of myclients sent me a text about the
textured breathing stripstickers at Walmart, and all my
mindfulness coaching clients aregetting those this month.
I also love using the CalmStrip brand for that, so that's
(13:36):
another option.
These textured breathingstickers are a great way to
invite kids to presence during aboring lecture, a fidgety
elementary school moment or astressful test.
I encourage my kids to find aplace to put them that will be
close by, so maybe on a waterbottle, on a folder or on a desk
if their teacher is super cool.
They come off with somedissolvent, you know, at the end
(13:57):
of the year, but some teachersare game for that and some are
not, so check with your teacherfirst and use a water bottle or
folder if it's a no-go on thedesk first and use a water
bottle or folder if it's a no-goon the desk For older kids.
We also want to talk about pencolors or designs on folders or
potentially spending an extradollar or two on really cute
dividers.
That will bring a smile for thenext nine months and give our
(14:18):
child a sense of, like, autonomyand self-awareness in terms of
what organizational tools workfor them.
One of the things that we oftensee with school is the like
extrinsic motivation drives alot of behavior, right.
So the external things aregrades and teachers and parents
driving behavior.
But if we can add a few thingsthat kids are excited about, it
(14:41):
can help them with a sense ofintrinsic motivation because
they have some say in situation.
Right, it's not somethinghappening to them, they're
actively participating increating it and I know it sounds
funny to think that dividers ora cool folder or binder would
be supportive of that.
But really like when we putkids in the brain space where
they're feeling a sense ofautonomy and ownership that can
(15:05):
carry through in other momentsin really cool ways.
Another thing I like to do atthis time of year is looking at
like what needs to happen beforeschool starts, because if we
can ease into that, it's goingto be a lot easier than if we
were like racing into the finishand I've had a lot of years
when I'm just racing into thefinish because I'm just
surviving.
So I totally get that.
(15:26):
But if we know there arecertain things that need to be
done before the school yearstarts, we can make some
reminder posters.
At our house we like to usethose big post-it sheets that go
on the wall, like the reallyhuge poster size ones, and then
we make lists, we make timelinesof what needs to happen before
school starts or we use those atfinals time.
(15:47):
At our house right now theposter has big circles and
correlating tasks like Viola,sat prep crew, soccer and the
Great Gatsby, and then each timethere's time spent on one of
those tasks we add a smallsticker dot to the big circle
next to it, and as the start ofthe school year gets closer we
want to see those circles almostfull of sticker dots and
(16:10):
that'll be a sign that we'reprepared and we've done what we
need to do before gettingstarted.
Any kind of visual to help kidssee what needs to happen or, you
know, as a reminder of thethings that they're doing in
preparation for the school yearcan go a long way toward making
the start of the school yearhave a little bit more flow and
(16:30):
a little less chaos.
You could use any project orpreparatory task in a similar
way by helping kids come up withsome sort of visual that they
have ownership of and thatsupports the kind of behavior
that they need to have goinginto the year, whether it's
practicing an instrument youknow, doing summer reading,
whatever.
So every summer is different.
(16:51):
And again, if you're feelinglike exhausted right now and
just worn out, I totally get itand just keep these ideas in
your back pocket for anothertime, if you have the motivation
and energy and you're somebodywho gets excited about the
school year and is just ready tokind of dive in, use some of
these ideas and see how itserves you going into the next
(17:13):
couple of months.
One of the things I love aboutmindfulness is that it gives us
opportunity to care for ourfuture self if we let it.
So we're really present rightnow, but oftentimes those really
present actions serve far intothe future.
So if you can take the time tobe present in getting school
supplies, in getting a highlevel view of the rest of the
(17:34):
year, in listening to kids talkthrough worries and then
encouraging them to see theirfuture confident, courageous
self.
To see their future confident,courageous self.
You will be served by thoseactions for quite some time.
For those of us who are ridinga motivational wave, we can take
advantage of that energymindfully and set ourselves up
for the next few months withthese simple yet high impact
(17:56):
actions as we lean into thatback to school energy.
If you need a calendar, I'vegot a cute one that covers Labor
Day to New Year's attheessentialcalendarcom and we
have all the color codingaccessories you can dream of
over there.
If you need a mindfulness coachfor a worried or high
performing, high tension kid,I've got you covered there too.
Mindfulness coaching is half anhour a week and it makes a big
(18:20):
difference because weconsistently practice these
types of tools and we invitekids to change the way they see
themselves by practicing thetools building self-awareness,
working through emotion andlearning how to self-regulate.
If you just need a few phrasesor ideas, feel free to use the
ones in this show to help youtake a mindful approach to your
back to school preparations.
(18:40):
You've just finished an episodeof the Stress Nanny podcast, so
hopefully you feel a littlemore empowered when it comes to
dealing with stress.
Feel free to take a deep breathand let it out slowly as you go
back to your day.
I'm so glad you're here.
If you're a longtime listener,thank you so much for your
support.
It really means the world to me.
(19:01):
If you're new, I'd love to haveyou follow the podcast and join
me each week, and no matter howlong you've been listening.
Please share this episode withsomeone who is stressed out.
If you enjoyed the show, wouldyou please do me a favor and go
to rate this podcastcom.
Slash the stress nanny andleave a review.
The link is in the show notes.
I'm so grateful for all mylisteners.
(19:21):
Thank you again for being here.
Until next time.
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