Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
There will be
bromance when you think about
your would-be hubby going on hisbachelor, and why you should
support him is because he willreceive those Bromantical
situations.
Those comfort hugs.
I'm sure Chad gave me a coupleof those?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh my God, I
definitely gave him a hug.
Did he cuff the cheeks?
Speaker 3 (00:19):
No, I'm not a cheek
guy, okay.
Did he hug you from behind.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
He Titanic'd him one
time.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Next question Thank
you for stopping by the Stuber
podcast.
I'm your host, slash driver,stu Briggs, and today we are
hopping in a Stuber black SUV.
We need space, we needsomething with dark tint on the
windows, we need to look as ifwe're pulling up to any scene
with our ceiling missing and,more importantly, we need like
(00:48):
first aid kits and things likethat, because who knows where we
could go on this particularjourney.
Joining me are two guys and agal.
One guy uh, he calls himselfthe bad man on instagram,
chatteluka.
Just noticed that.
The other guy we call him TyClef, also known as T Chisel.
(01:11):
Both of these good gentlemenwere groomsmen in my wedding and
carried me to safety in mybachelor party.
And then my wife she's going torepresent the ladies over this
particular show.
There's a lot of littleintricacies that are worth
noting.
Hop in, definitely buckle up.
(01:31):
Maybe put two seat belts on Idon't know how you do that like
buckle one side and then takethe other one across your body,
whatever, just hold on tight.
Let's go for a ride.
We got ourselves a nice one.
Today.
We are going to provide aservice to would-be, soon-to-be,
plan-to-be, hope-to-be bridesand grooms, not to be confused
(01:57):
with plan B Good.
As I was saying, sometimes whenwe think about bachelor parties
, it conjures up for some peoplenot everyone images of
strippers, lots of boozedrinking.
We don't want that one weekendor that one night to jeopardize
an entire future.
(02:17):
Bachelor parties can actuallybe more of an occasion that's
sedated.
My aim and my intention is toreassure folks that they have
nothing to worry about or not, Idon't know.
We're going to find out today.
The first person that I want tohave speak on this topic is my
(02:38):
wife, jane.
You have my last name, correctBriggs.
When you heard that I was goingon a bachelor party, what was
your reaction?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I had no worries at
all.
I didn't think you would havethe stereotypical bachelor party
with strippers and heavydrinking.
That's the hopes of anypotential bride-to-be that it's
going to be all innocent fun.
Potential bride-to-be, that isgoing to be all innocent fun,
depending on the groom,depending on the groom's friends
(03:08):
.
It could go sideways,especially when drinking is
involved, especially when youget a bunch of guys together.
It's a potential opportunity toblow off some steam and to go
wild in a way that you can'texpress on a normal basis, which
is easy to get sucked into as agroom, as a participant, as a
single guy, as a married guy, asa guy who's dating.
(03:28):
The idea can be sold for likethe last rod.
Almost every bachelor party I'vebeen to there has been some
sort of drug use, sometimesextreme drug use.
I've come to expect that, aspar for the course on any
bachelor party, was Narcan onhand.
No, there was no Narcan on anyof the events that I've been.
To expect that, as par for thecourse on any bachelor party,
was Narcan on hand.
No, there was no Narcan on anyof the events that I've been
(03:48):
aware of.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Tyler is not trying
to sugarcoat the reality, but
what Jane is saying is thatcertain bachelor parties, given
the collective makeup of thegroup that's going, you can feel
like nothing too bad is goingto happen.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
You can think what
something's going to be like
based on the personalities, butonce you get there it can take
on a whole different element.
From Jane's perspective, howwell does she know everybody in
that bachelor party to where shecan say for sure that she was
confident that wasn't going tohappen?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Jane definitely has a
reasonable understanding of men
around Stuart.
I mean, obviously we're notgoing to let him get hurt or
something bad happen to him in abachelor party.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Right, that's if we
have eyes and control over him
the whole time.
I'm talking about reasonableexpectations versus reality.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
No, that is
reasonable expectations.
Obviously, a comet can comefrom the sky and hit me in my
head right now and I'm dead.
That's not likely to happen.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I think that's a
horrible comparison.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
I want to share a
couple facts and you guys can
pontificate on these facts.
The first fact is 75% of menand 65% of women think that they
can bend the rules ofinfidelity on the bachelor party
.
So they think that, hey, it'smy last hurrah.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Are we talking about
the groom and the bride, or are
we talking about the surroundingpeople?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
The groom and the
bride, yeah, the celebrant.
75% of men and 65% of womenthink that it's okay to bend the
rules of infidelity on theirbachelor party.
Technically, it's not to bendthe rules of infidelity on their
bachelor party.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Technically, it's not
infidelity if they're not
married.
It depends on how you describeinfidelity if it's cheating on
someone you're married with orcheating on some verbal
agreement that's not legallybinding.
A bachelor party could be likea last hurrah, doing something
with someone else before theyenter into marriage which they
won't want to bend the rules ofbecause that's a more structured
(05:48):
thing with legal ramificationson top of that.
Is it a big deal?
I think yes, and I think that'seven a reason not to get
married to that person Afterfive years of being married.
What's not going to have thatsame motivation with someone
else further down the line, atsomebody else's bachelor party,
(06:08):
at someone else's last hurrah orsomeone else's thing where
there's no witnesses, no way toget caught?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
41% of men and 38% of
women receive lap dances.
Is that okay?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
men and 38% of women
receive lap dances.
Is that okay?
It just depends on yourrelationship beforehand going
into the bachelor party.
Going into the bacheloretteparty.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Which is key.
If you don't have a partnerthat you can talk these things
out with and have a honestconversation and talk about your
expectations, then perhaps youshouldn't marry that person.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Everyone goes into it
thinking that they have that
with the person.
It's just 25% of those peopledo some other stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Is it fair to say
that bachelor parties are more
about booze binging, but wedisguise it as a celebration.
Is that a fair assessment or isthat not a fair assessment?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I would say it's more
of a celebration, but the
celebrations always includebooze.
How about for the?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
ladies at your
bachelorette.
Was it binge boozing or was itmore of a celebration?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
More of a celebration
.
Guys also don't know how tocelebrate in the way that girls
know how to celebrate.
With guys, drinking goes alongwith celebration.
That's the way some guys onlyknow how to celebrate.
Girls would have a communaltype of celebration that doesn't
have to involve alcohol,because they're not trying to be
macho.
They can express their feelingswithout having to be drunk.
With dudes you don't even getsomeone's true feelings.
(07:28):
You don't get the I love youman's in a non-drunk state.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
That never comes when
you're sober, and that's one
key takeaway and I'm glad youhit on that is that for those
would-be fiancés is that therewill be bromance when you think
you're guaranteed your would-behubby going on his bachelor.
And why you should support himis because he will receive those
Romantical situations.
Those comfort hugs.
(07:52):
I'm sure Chad gave me a coupleof those.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Oh my God, I
definitely gave him a hug Did he
cuff the cheeks.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
No, I'm not a cheek
guy, okay.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Did he hug you from
behind?
He titanic'd him one time.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Next question so is
the emphasis on sex, whether it
be a stripper popping up out ofa birthday cake or the act of
having sex.
Is that more of an idea or isit actually a reality?
A lot of would-be brides wantto know.
Does that actually happen?
I have an opinion about this.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Oh, he's pleading the
fifth it is a reality for sure
in your book.
Huh, not always, but it is areality.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
See, that's what I'm
saying.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
You got to have that
one little disclaimer that it is
not always it's always, but Ifeel like when it does happen,
the bride definitely doesn'tthink that it happened but I'm
trying to speak to those thatare worried.
So I'm trying to give theworried people the truth so they
can decide whether a bacheloror bachelorette party is
something for them, Because Idon't think it's for everybody.
What does that mean?
If it's something that you'reworried about and if it's
(08:54):
something that could make orbreak your relationship, you
probably shouldn't even have it.
Where's the trust?
You probably shouldn't evenhave it.
Where's the trust?
If it's the trusting, then,based on your numbers, 25% of
the time the trust was there butthe trust wasn't followed
through with.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Also based on my
numbers, 20% of men and 31% of
women want to know the detailsof what happened.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Right.
So the majority don't even wantto know, because they know it's
bad.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Or maybe because they
are willing to overlook it.
You bring some interestingarguments to the table for folks
to chew on.
Let's go to our next question.
Some of these guys that arecoming, are they there for
themselves or are they there forthe groom?
In other words, are they tryingto reenact the wild antics of
what bonded them back in their20s or in their college days?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
So how many people
have met their soon-to-be
husband or bride on a bachelorparty?
It's obviously an opportunityto connect to other people and
meet people, regardless ofwhether it is a short-term
connection or not.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
That's a great point.
People can have a greatexperience in addition to being
a part of celebrating multipleagendas.
Multiple agendas, that's a goodterm for it.
We didn't talk about the moneyaspect of it all.
I think that's a huge part toconsider.
The average cost of attending abachelor party is $1,044.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I would not have
spent $1,040 on somebody I was
not close to, but for you that'snot money, it's just free.
That's a great point, but thatcan be tricky.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
But for you that's
not money, it's just free.
That's a great point, but thatcan be tricky.
So to your point how manypeople are you willing to spend
over $1,000 to go on a bachelorparty?
Not that many.
A lot of people end up spendingthat amount of money on it.
There's lots of differentsacrifices that people made to
make it happen Time-wise,financially.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
All sorts of
different scenarios that
financial piece of the bachelorparty is a huge piece and it
could lead to conflict onbachelor's parties.
There could be a person thathas money and the person that's
cash strapped Chat thoughts.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
So if there is a
conflict during the bachelor
party, it should lead towardsthe bachelor.
Whatever he wants to do is what.
Everybody should be on board.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Uh-oh, we've got a
hand raised here, I would say
that's definitely not the case,based on what Stu mentioned
earlier about people havedifferent amounts of money.
Some people have the money,some people don't.
I've been at a bachelor partywhere I was the poorest person
there and some of the activitiesthey're doing were out of what
I could afford and I didn'tparticipate in some of those
(11:38):
activities.
I'm not going to spend $10,000on a bachelor party because
everyone else has spent $10,000.
I'm not doing that just for theBachelor.
It doesn't even have to bemoney.
Let's say, Sometimes activitiesMaybe you have a religious
reason why you don't want to goto a strip club or some belief
of something that's wrong thatyou don't want to take part of.
Maybe you're against animalcruelty so you're not going to
(11:58):
go to the zoo.
Not everyone can afford thesame thing.
But if Stu is like amillionaire and he wants to go
to a steakhouse where everysteak is $500, it doesn't mean
everyone he invites to thebachelor party is willing to do
that.
He can't necessarily expecteveryone to pay that because
it's something he wants to do.
I went to a bachelor party witha bunch of dentists and
periodontists and these guys areall making 10, 20 times more
(12:20):
money than I am.
So going to a steakhouse anddropping $400 on a nice steak
meal is nothing to them.
To me in my 20s, that's nothappening.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
I'm not really
interested in spending $400 on a
steak.
It's just silly for me, Likewhy would I pay that much for a
steak when we can?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
derive from this
conversation.
Coffee can arise over finances,and that is something to
consider.
All right, fellas, let's closeon this note.
One writer wrote that the riteof passage known as the bachelor
party is a ritual performed inrecognition of the passage from
(12:57):
one stage of life to another.
It's not an initiation intomanhood administered by elders,
but the expulsion from manhoodby his peers.
So, in essence, you're beingexpelled All the things you
would do normally as a man.
Yeah, walk around the housebutt naked.
I could probably still do that.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
I would definitely do
that.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Crazy, but some of
the liberties you had as you're
single, that chapter is gone andI don't know if it's
necessarily about conflictinggender identities and saying
your behavior has to change, butcertainly it is a rite of
passage into a differentmodality of living.
Agree or disagree, and thatwill be our final word.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Ideally for me,
entering into a marriage
wouldn't mean that you have tochange as a person and step into
a different modality of being.
That wouldn't be the type ofsituation or the type of person
that I'd want to be with tocompletely have to change and
not be myself.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I hope we were able
to dispel any myths that might
be out there about bachelorparties, as well as be candidly
honest about what can happen atbachelor parties.
You and your soon-to-be partnerwalk that aisle.
Say your I do's without anyregrets or reservations.
Thanks for listening.
If you enjoyed this episode andyou'd like to help support the
(14:28):
podcast, please share it withothers, post about it on social
media or leave a rating andreview.
To catch all the latest from me, you can follow me on Instagram
at Stuber underscore podcast.
Thanks again and until nexttime.
Keep your head up and eyes onthe road.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Today's episode was
brought to you by Lorraine's
Cafe, and until next time, keepyour head up and eyes on the
road.