Albert Ellis, who is considered the 2nd most influential psychotherapist in history died in 2007 and believed psychological problems are due to pervasive patterns of irrational thought. It is not events that create emotional states, but the way we interpret them. Chronic unhappiness is not caused directly by adversity but by us, it is our irrational beliefs and thoughts that cause suffering. He said “There are three musts that hold us back: I must do well. You must treat me well. And the world must be easy”. These 3 musts are illogical, they distort reality, prevents us from achieving goals, lead to self-sabotaging behavior and makes us miserable. Life is not fair, and things don’t go as planned. We cannot control everything all the time. Albert Ellis explained the emotionally mature individual should completely accept the fact that we live in an unpredictable world and there will never be any absolute certainties. The emotionally intelligent person knows that it is not always horrible when things don’t go as planned. If we choose to stay addicted to certainty, our perception of and reaction to life experiences will be self-defeating and counterproductive.
http://www.albertellis.info/
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