August 8, 2023 • 29 mins
What if your teenage years were spoiled by early drug encounters, a tumultuous relationship, and a close family member battling a life-altering disease?
Join me as I recount my rocky journey to self-discovery, starting with my first interaction with Vicodin and Marijuana, a stressful relationship with a girl named Whitney, and the emotional upheaval of having my grandfather diagnosed with ALS.
Life throws curveballs, but it's how we react to them that builds our character.
I share my path from a troubled teen to a sales representative, navigating through mental health struggles and setting physical health goals. You'll hear about my friend Sam, an inspiring example of second-chance individuals breaking the cycle and making a difference. We'll reminisce about the first few days of experiencing freedom and remembering the friends we lost along the way.
Join me in this journey of a troubled teen filled with transformations, trials, and triumphs. Let's discover together what it truly means to progress, improve, and succeed degenerates.
The Successful Degenerate is produced by Brandon Caldwell and Eric Smith from Abuveground.
Make sure to connect and follow on our socials. Rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Subscribe and follow on your favorite platforms so you're notified when new episodes go live!
https://www.instagram.com/thesuccessfuldegenerate/
www.abuveground.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up everybody.
Welcome to the successfuldegenerate podcast.
I'm the host, brandon Caldwell,for those of you that don't
know me, and I'm just incrediblygrateful to everyone tuning in
to listen Music playing.
(00:33):
What's up everybody.
This is the successfuldegenerate.
Welcome back.
(00:53):
Thank you again for tuning inand thank you so much for all
the kind words I've beenreceiving in private messages,
direct messages and also throughLinkedIn.
I cannot express enough howgrateful I am for everyone
tuning in to listen and theircontinued support as we grow the
podcast.
Don't forget everybody, gofollow the successful degenerate
(01:17):
at the successful degenerate tostay up to date on episode
releases as well.
As you know, this is a greatway to stay up to date on
changes that I'm currentlymaking in my own life.
Don't forget, please, everyone.
Go ahead and follow, subscribe,download the show, share with
your friends.
It really, really does help usout as we continue to grow this
(01:42):
podcast.
The more ratings and reviewsthat we receive, the more
likelihood of other listenersbeing able to join in and join
this community of degeneratesand other people that are out
there to really help make adifference, especially
concerning, you know, secondchance employment opportunities.
(02:03):
I think today, guys, we startoff by providing a quick update
on what's going on in my lifetoday.
As you guys know, I currentlywork as a sales representative
for a lending company, workingthe enterprise level, continue
to grow and expand my skill setson a day-to-day basis.
(02:26):
But outside of that, guys, youknow, I am not complete by any
means.
I continue to make mistakes inmy own life, but the difference
today is my mistakes no longerinvolve burning my life to the
ground.
You know, we're going throughmany changes, even in present
day, you know, and my mentalhealth, guys, continues to be a
(02:50):
struggle at times.
But again, the difference todayis I know when to vocalize when
I am struggling.
I have resources and people inmy life today that have my back.
I am working on my physicalhealth and what I have learned,
you know, is that by focusing onthe body.
(03:10):
As the body becomes healthier,the mind will follow.
So you know some things that Iam doing today, guys.
I am trying to work on eatingbetter foods.
We are going through someregular workouts throughout the
week.
Now, at this point, you know weare taking some swing lessons
focusing on getting better, youknow, getting the golf game
(03:30):
right, but we are doing a lot ofthings, to stay busy, stay
focused, continue to learn andgrow.
Because, like I said again, guys, I am not perfect.
I make mistakes on the regular.
But what I try to do with thosemistakes is I try to learn from
them, really analyze.
You know where I went wrong,you know what I should have done
(03:55):
differently.
If I heard anyone, I try toquickly apologize and be sincere
with that apology and recognizeyou know my mistake and take
ownership for that mistake.
And it is different and itfeels good, but understandably
so.
You know, there are times whereyou know we are three years out.
(04:18):
At this point I wish that I wasa little bit further along.
You know, I wish at times thatthe mental health was not so
much a struggle, that the ebbsand flows were less frequent.
But you know, it's gettingbetter, guys.
It's getting better and we justcontinue to talk to people,
continue to make that a focusand really continue to just
(04:45):
focus on ourselves.
By focusing on ourselves, we'reable to really give back, and I
feel like that's my purposehere.
I feel like we're at that pointnow where, by giving back,
that's the only way that I'mgoing to be able to continue to
(05:05):
progress.
And I hope that's the case,because it's going to mean so
much to me to really be able tohelp others that have been
through similar or struggles orthat may be facing some
difficult times even to thispresent day.
But hey, guys, stay tuned forthe full episode, as towards the
(05:28):
end of this episode we're goingto get into my first experience
with Mary Jane marijuana, theweed.
But first I want to provide anupdate on Sam.
Remember last episode, guys, Ikind of touched on Sam a little
bit towards the end.
He's my buddy that I spent alittle bit of time with.
(05:49):
I would say about a year and ahalf of almost the four years
that I did was spent with Sam,and Sam and I were great friends
.
But Sam got a job, guys.
Hey, round of applause for Sam.
Let's really.
(06:11):
I mean, this is amazing.
I wish I could have said that Ihad a part to play in it, but
unfortunately that's not thecase.
This was all Sam's doing.
It's not the prettiest ofthings, let's just be clear.
But Sam will be cleaning anddoing some dishes at a local
(06:32):
restaurant here in Gilbert andI'm just happy to hear that Sam
is back working, beingproductive again in society, and
I know the feeling when thatfirst day of work and you're
just like, oh my god, this ishappening.
I have an opportunity now toreally do some things.
I'm going to be generating anincome for myself and it's just
(06:55):
a great feeling.
And not to mention guys likeSam and I.
We both worked in prison andthe jobs that we had the best
job that I ever had in prison,paid no more than $0.50 an hour
so to be able to actually make adecent wage and buy things for
yourself that just what a greatfeeling that is.
(07:16):
And I cannot wait for Sam toexperience that.
He hasn't yet.
I just talked to him a littlebit ago.
He has not received his firstpaycheck yet, but he is working
and it should come here soon.
So we'll check back with Samand see what happens.
But why this matters, guys.
We want to create even moreopportunities for second chance
(07:36):
individuals.
We shouldn't work for monthslooking for employment to
eventually have to settle for,unfortunately, a dishwashing job
.
I mean it's not right.
Sam's a bright and intelligentyoung man who's got a lot to
offer.
He's strong, fully capable,obviously with his hands.
(07:56):
If he was able to learn somesort of trade that would be able
to excel him in life.
But this is unfortunately theopportunity that's available to
him right now and I know Samwants nothing more than to make
his parents proud and I knowthat one day he's going to do
that and I'm sure they are proudof him today with the growth
(08:19):
that he is showing anddisplaying and acting upon on a
day-to-day basis.
But I just wanted to providethat quick update on Sam.
I'm just super happy for him.
I know that's just a big step,guys.
But again, let's get back intoit.
Last episode we left off at theage of 15, during that time
(08:40):
period that Brian and mom weregoing through a divorce.
So I think this is the time,the moment, that we get into the
first experience with opiates.
I know I kind of touched on ittowards the end of the last
episode, but let's jump rightinto it.
So first experience withopiates was Vicodin and happened
(09:03):
at the age of 16.
Like any I mean I shouldn't saylike any, right, but I guess at
the age of 16, had to get mywisdom teeth taken out, so was
put under some anesthesia.
They went in, extracted allfour wisdom teeth.
Was prescribed Vicodin.
(09:24):
Took the Vicodin for a few days,threw up a few times but liked
the way that it made the pain goaway and really kind of how it
made me feel, right.
But I took it as prescribed.
There was at least half of thepill bottle leftover when I was
done with it and I'd never feltthe urge to go back to it.
(09:46):
Right, sounds like something anormal person would do.
But one thing I noticed wasthat I was able to to slow down
my thoughts because it wasapparent at this time that I
definitely struggled from someracing thoughts, was having a
(10:07):
hard time shutting the brain off, especially at night.
Right, I found myself up,sometimes very late, watching TV
or whatever it may be, justkind of going through different
thoughts in my head and but thisVicodin for those few days.
What I had noticed was thatthat didn't happen and this
(10:31):
would become very significant asthe drug usage and the types of
drugs I end up getting intoprogress.
And after Brian left, a lot ofself-discovery started to take
place.
I started to dedicate myself toyear-round, to focusing on
(10:51):
nothing but baseball.
I made the freshman year, or Imade the freshman team freshman
year, and I ended up becoming apretty decent player and was the
starting catcher.
Even more importantly at thistime, I started to date this
girl named Whitney and I startedto date Whitney actually right
(11:14):
before, sort of started talkingto Whitney right before Brian
left.
But really the relationship Iguess solidified itself after
that had occurred, if you wantto call it that right.
I mean we're in freshman,almost sophomore year at this
point that type of relationship,right.
But you know, whitney didn't goand I didn't go to the same
(11:37):
school.
She went to a private girl'sschool in Phoenix.
But I don't want to dive toodeep into this relationship as
it was a fairly typical, youknow, young high school
relationship.
But what is important to touchon is this is the girl who I
would end up losing my virginityto.
Okay, after it happened, let thestress of being a 15 year old
(12:04):
boy and your girlfriend callingyou telling you that she is late
begin.
The next video will come outright after this.
Oh my God, no way.
Like this is when you know teenmom is out on MTV and I'm like,
am I going to need to be onthis show at some point?
Like what is going on here?
(12:26):
This is not happening, you havegot to be kidding me.
But then at the same time, likeI was always raised to, you
know, accept responsibility, andthat was going to.
That's what I was going to planon doing, right, but I am
living in a mental nightmare atthis point.
So what do I decide to do?
(12:47):
Right, I make a journal, startjournaling.
This journal entry thatdescribes the whole situation,
lays everything out.
And what do I do?
I leave the journal out.
And who comes to read thejournal?
Mom does so.
(13:07):
Now mom finds out about this.
Right, the nightmare becomesworse.
And the talk, introducing thetalk.
Mom comes into my room one night, after, you know, I get home
and she's like Brandon, I needto come talk to us.
So she pulls me into her roomand she sits me down and she's
like what is this?
(13:29):
What is going on?
You're too young, are youkidding me?
Is this really happening?
You know, basically, like dude,wrap it up.
Like what's going, like wetalked about this, wrap the
thing up.
You know, next time you betterwrap it up, otherwise there
(13:49):
won't be a next time because I'mgoing to cut it off, right,
that's basically how you knowhow the speech went at that
point.
But you know, come full circle.
About a week and a half went byof absolute, just pandemonium
stress.
But I wake up that morning, geta phone call hey, everything's
(14:12):
okay, I am never going to touchyou again.
You, this is like.
This is never going to happento me again, but so it's a.
It was a lot to deal with.
Right, like Brian just lefthere I am losing my virginity
for the first time and thinkthat this girl's pregnant.
So, by the way, not to mentiona huge shift in the family
(14:37):
dynamic.
Right, mom bought me a car atthis point, a couple months
before my 16th birthday, so Icould learn how to drive the car
, and it was a manualtransmission, so she wanted me
to have some practice.
But my grandpa would come overand take me driving and teach me
how to change you know, changegears, park, turn.
(14:59):
You know all the, all thetypical stuff that you need to
learn you know as you'relearning to drive.
But this would just be one ofseveral things that my grandpa
spent time with me doing afterBrian moved out, to make sure
that I still had that solid malerole model in my life and I'll
never forget it.
My grandpa is I know I'vementioned this before, but the
(15:22):
single, most honest, best manthat I've ever met in my life.
He is, he's just a.
He was a huge role model.
I mean, he, he did everythingright.
He did everything right and notto mention, he was just
absolutely hilarious.
My grandpa was so, so funny.
(15:46):
But it was also during this timeperiod that I should point out
that grandpa was diagnosed withALS, essentially a form of Lou
Gehrig's disease, where themuscle starts to deteriorate,
deteriorate over time.
But what we need to recognizetoo is that muscles don't just
exist in your arms and your legs.
(16:07):
Of course, you know your, yourheart is a muscle, your lungs
are a muscle, and so Grandpastarted to lose physical ability
to do certain things and timewas starting to run out, and so
(16:28):
that was another thing that atthis time and I'm not gonna sit
here and complain about it Likelife is life, right, things
happen, but it just seemed to bea lot and we're going through a
lot, but that's okay.
We put our game face on and wetackle life head on.
(16:50):
But at this point this issophomore year in high school.
I'm now at Dobson High Schooland I'm 100% dedicated to
nothing but really school andbaseball, and also, of course,
whitney Continue to date,whitney.
Really all through sophomoreyear leading into those next
(17:12):
summer months going into junioryear, I didn't get along with
some of the guys on the baseballteam.
I definitely did not like thehead coach, even though I'm on
varsity baseball, made varsitybaseball with my sophomore year
and I couldn't really standshowing up to practice every day
(17:32):
and even ended up in a scufflewith someone towards I believe
it was actually even the lastday of practice.
So I decided to quit the team.
Baseball became no longerimportant and not only did I
quit baseball, but it was alsotime to quit Whitney.
(17:53):
So we had really essentiallygiven up social life and sports
all at the same time.
And one decision and it was ahuge turning point because at
this point in time I'm nowlooking for new friends in a new
(18:15):
life outside of school, beingthat so much of my time was
taken up with baseball and thenwith Whitney.
But this is an instrumentalchange and it was one that
really significantly changedjunior and senior year for me,
for high school, which, lookingback on, no matter what, two of
(18:38):
the single best years of my life, I mean it was so much fun, I
had a blast, it was amazing andit was as if there was not a
care, right.
But down below there was allthis stuff that just kind of
existed, that was just beingignored and only recognized at
(19:01):
times that it was necessary torecognize, right?
But introducing you now to thehomies, let's get into the
homies.
Kurt, kevin, greg and Matt Ofthe four today I don't really
(19:24):
talk to.
I don't talk to any of them forthe most part.
I check in with Kevin every sooften, miss the guide of death,
but unfortunately Matt's nolonger with us.
He did pass away a couple ofyears ago from what Most likely,
I guess, was drug alcoholrelated, but we don't know that
(19:51):
for sure.
Right, it was his liver, and orI don't know that for sure,
let's just put it that way, Ijust know it was his liver, it
was cirrhosis.
I know Matt struggled for along time with heroin, as did I,
of course, and did a lot of ourfriends or acquaintances at the
time.
(20:12):
But anyways, let's get back intoit.
Because I was driving and myfriends were quickly becoming my
life outside of school, I wasnever really home to spend time
with Megan, andrew and mom.
I would come home to eat, ofcourse, but at this time it
(20:33):
wasn't like we were havingfamily meals together, right,
what was to eat was normally thefastest and easiest thing to
make, or something that we couldmake ourselves.
This wasn't mom's fault.
She was a career woman withthree children to raise, not to
mention she was making a ton ofmoney at this point and was on a
harder path to becoming vicepresident.
(20:55):
But I was working, startingthis summer after sophomore year
, as a camp counselor at aspecial needs camp that the city
of Tempe put on every summercalled Camp Challenge, and then
I was working as a ice attendantat the local ice rink called
Polarice.
So I got to work, got busy, butoutside of work in school I was
(21:21):
with my friends.
Now let's get into the firstexperience with weed.
My first experience with weedcame with my friends, matt, of
course.
I say of course Matt, becauseit seemed like everybody at the
time had their first experiencewith weed with Matt.
(21:43):
I know Kevin did for sure.
I'm sure that means Kirk didtoo, but anyways, it was with
Matt and it was with our friendnamed Corey.
Corey's been in my life stillto this day.
Corey is in my life and we'llget into Corey absolutely
because Corey is, she's a superimportant person to me.
(22:06):
She's just an acquaintance atthis point in time, but she will
always be a lifelong friend andI will always consider that.
But anyways, corey and Matt wewere.
We decided to go down to thislittle park down the street from
my mom's house and we'resitting there and Corey's got
(22:28):
this little metal, this littlemetal pipe that I think she took
from her sister or something,and this weed she took from her
sister, I think too.
I can't remember, but that doessound right, that does sound
like that could definitely be apossibility.
But we're standing there inthis little park, right, and
they load this bowl up and theystart smoking and they pass it
(22:50):
to me and I go to smoke it and Ihave no idea what I'm doing at
this time, right, so I'm notinhaling property, like shit's
not happening, I'm not feelingnothing.
And there's Corey and Mattstoned and I'm like what's going
on here?
How can I not get this right?
So I'm like, screw it.
But mom was dating at the time,so she was gone a lot on the
(23:12):
weekends and of course, I meanshe wouldn't tell us that she
was dating, but she would tellus that she'd go spend the
weekend with the girls, which,of course, sounded believable
enough at the time, and we werehappy for her right.
She was happy, but you know,which meant that we you know
Andrew and I had a lot of alonetime on the weekends at the
(23:33):
house, as you know, during theseyears, and you know Matt and
Corey.
So they're stoned, and Idecided to be a great idea hey,
let's go take them to the icerink and let's go ice skating,
right?
Well, they don't ice skate, Iice skate.
And I'm like what am I?
What's going on?
What are we doing here, right?
Well, I don't understand that.
They're just lazy and beingstoned, right, cause I've never
(23:53):
done this before and I'm justout here skating by myself.
So I'm like, screw it, let's gohome.
So we go home.
Anyways, long story long.
That was essentially the firstexperience with weed.
It failed, but the next time itwas successful, and it wasn't
(24:18):
until a few months after that,matt and I would go to a park
after work.
We worked together at thispoint as bussers, together at
the local Rigatoni's restaurant,and that's when I got stoned
for the first time.
You know, from that nightforward, we will let me tell you
the story, okay?
So we went to the park.
(24:39):
We were with a buddy of oursthat we worked with, a server
who, of course, was much older,right, I think he was I don't
know early 20, something likethat.
So we go to this park and we'relaughing, smoking.
We were giggling and then Imean I'm telling you like we
cannot stop laughing and I'mlike this is the greatest thing
(25:01):
in the world.
This is amazing.
We're like just giggly, likethis.
What's the danger in this?
Right, this is great.
And so from that night forward,we were pretty much smoking weed
on a nightly basis and theneventually it grew into, you
know, the before school, duringschool, during the lunch hour,
(25:22):
and then, of course, afterschool and at night.
You know, it became a lifestylefor us and no matter how
ridiculous that sounds, but whendo we go from here?
So eventually, as Matt, kurt,kevin, greg and I continue to
become popular with the ladies,another group of guys wants to
(25:46):
join forces and we become thismassive group of homies, right
that ultimately, we reallyconsidered each other brothers.
And I start dating Caitlynnumber one at this point, and I
have to say Caitlyn number onebecause there's two Caitlons.
There's another Caitlyn thatcomes after Caitlyn number one
(26:06):
that we'll get into later.
So we have to identify asCaitlyn number one, caitlyn
number two and, unless you havea better suggestion, that's just
what we're gonna go with.
But we'll dive into therelationship with Caitlyn number
one and really get into howthat relationship began to shape
the years to come.
(26:26):
I graduated high school at thispoint in time my grandpa
unfortunately we lost him themonth after I graduated high
school, but he was there towatch me graduate.
It meant the world to me, butthen we lost him shortly after
that.
But on the next episode, guys,as we continue to dive into the
(26:50):
relationship with Caitlyn numberone, we're gonna go into some
significant, significant events.
Unfortunately, I started tolose friends at this point in
time.
I lost two friends back to back, one to a murder suicide and
then another one to a motorcycleaccident, actually in the
(27:12):
opposite order my buddy, joe Mug, to the motorcycle accident
first and then Chip, of course,to the murder suicide that
happened after that.
So we're gonna get into somepretty significant heavy duty
stories, along with how, brandon, how does the drug problem
(27:34):
progress from here?
Well, towards the end of therelationship with Caitlyn number
one, we start a new career in anew industry that's gonna give
us some pretty significantaccess to the opiates in the
pills.
Oxy-co-oxy-cotton, at this timeis going rampant.
(27:56):
Pharmacies are being robbedleft and right and the problem
especially here in Arizona and Iknow in other states around the
nation as well but theOxy-cotton problem becomes a
significant, significant,significant problem.
So we're gonna get into somedeep things, guys.
But really, again, thank you somuch for tuning in, thanks for
(28:20):
listening to today's episode.
I hope that you guys continueto tune in for further episodes
as we dive further into thestory.
But really, from here we'regonna get into some interviews
after the story, some advocacywork, some magic is gonna take
place and it's gonna be amazing.
So again, guys, go follow us atthe successful degenerate.
(28:42):
And again, huge shout out toEric at Above Ground doing some
amazing things for me with thispodcast and really for all his
support.
Thank you, eric, thank you,thank you, thank you.
But till next time, degenerates, talk to you later.
Please subscribe for more ofthis.
What's up everybody.
Welcome to the successfuldegenerate podcast.
I'm the host, brandon Caldwell,for those of you that don't
know me, and I'm just incrediblygrateful to everyone tuning in
to listen Music playing.
(00:33):
What's up everybody.
This is the successfuldegenerate.
Welcome back.
(00:53):
Thank you again for tuning inand thank you so much for all
the kind words I've beenreceiving in private messages,
direct messages and also throughLinkedIn.
I cannot express enough howgrateful I am for everyone
tuning in to listen and theircontinued support as we grow the
podcast.
Don't forget everybody, gofollow the successful degenerate
(01:17):
at the successful degenerate tostay up to date on episode
releases as well.
As you know, this is a greatway to stay up to date on
changes that I'm currentlymaking in my own life.
Don't forget, please, everyone.
Go ahead and follow, subscribe,download the show, share with
your friends.
It really, really does help usout as we continue to grow this
(01:42):
podcast.
The more ratings and reviewsthat we receive, the more
likelihood of other listenersbeing able to join in and join
this community of degeneratesand other people that are out
there to really help make adifference, especially
concerning, you know, secondchance employment opportunities.
(02:03):
I think today, guys, we startoff by providing a quick update
on what's going on in my lifetoday.
As you guys know, I currentlywork as a sales representative
for a lending company, workingthe enterprise level, continue
to grow and expand my skill setson a day-to-day basis.
(02:26):
But outside of that, guys, youknow, I am not complete by any
means.
I continue to make mistakes inmy own life, but the difference
today is my mistakes no longerinvolve burning my life to the
ground.
You know, we're going throughmany changes, even in present
day, you know, and my mentalhealth, guys, continues to be a
(02:50):
struggle at times.
But again, the difference todayis I know when to vocalize when
I am struggling.
I have resources and people inmy life today that have my back.
I am working on my physicalhealth and what I have learned,
you know, is that by focusing onthe body.
(03:10):
As the body becomes healthier,the mind will follow.
So you know some things that Iam doing today, guys.
I am trying to work on eatingbetter foods.
We are going through someregular workouts throughout the
week.
Now, at this point, you know weare taking some swing lessons
focusing on getting better, youknow, getting the golf game
(03:30):
right, but we are doing a lot ofthings, to stay busy, stay
focused, continue to learn andgrow.
Because, like I said again, guys, I am not perfect.
I make mistakes on the regular.
But what I try to do with thosemistakes is I try to learn from
them, really analyze.
You know where I went wrong,you know what I should have done
(03:55):
differently.
If I heard anyone, I try toquickly apologize and be sincere
with that apology and recognizeyou know my mistake and take
ownership for that mistake.
And it is different and itfeels good, but understandably
so.
You know, there are times whereyou know we are three years out.
(04:18):
At this point I wish that I wasa little bit further along.
You know, I wish at times thatthe mental health was not so
much a struggle, that the ebbsand flows were less frequent.
But you know, it's gettingbetter, guys.
It's getting better and we justcontinue to talk to people,
continue to make that a focusand really continue to just
(04:45):
focus on ourselves.
By focusing on ourselves, we'reable to really give back, and I
feel like that's my purposehere.
I feel like we're at that pointnow where, by giving back,
that's the only way that I'mgoing to be able to continue to
(05:05):
progress.
And I hope that's the case,because it's going to mean so
much to me to really be able tohelp others that have been
through similar or struggles orthat may be facing some
difficult times even to thispresent day.
But hey, guys, stay tuned forthe full episode, as towards the
(05:28):
end of this episode we're goingto get into my first experience
with Mary Jane marijuana, theweed.
But first I want to provide anupdate on Sam.
Remember last episode, guys, Ikind of touched on Sam a little
bit towards the end.
He's my buddy that I spent alittle bit of time with.
(05:49):
I would say about a year and ahalf of almost the four years
that I did was spent with Sam,and Sam and I were great friends
.
But Sam got a job, guys.
Hey, round of applause for Sam.
Let's really.
(06:11):
I mean, this is amazing.
I wish I could have said that Ihad a part to play in it, but
unfortunately that's not thecase.
This was all Sam's doing.
It's not the prettiest ofthings, let's just be clear.
But Sam will be cleaning anddoing some dishes at a local
(06:32):
restaurant here in Gilbert andI'm just happy to hear that Sam
is back working, beingproductive again in society, and
I know the feeling when thatfirst day of work and you're
just like, oh my god, this ishappening.
I have an opportunity now toreally do some things.
I'm going to be generating anincome for myself and it's just
(06:55):
a great feeling.
And not to mention guys likeSam and I.
We both worked in prison andthe jobs that we had the best
job that I ever had in prison,paid no more than $0.50 an hour
so to be able to actually make adecent wage and buy things for
yourself that just what a greatfeeling that is.
(07:16):
And I cannot wait for Sam toexperience that.
He hasn't yet.
I just talked to him a littlebit ago.
He has not received his firstpaycheck yet, but he is working
and it should come here soon.
So we'll check back with Samand see what happens.
But why this matters, guys.
We want to create even moreopportunities for second chance
(07:36):
individuals.
We shouldn't work for monthslooking for employment to
eventually have to settle for,unfortunately, a dishwashing job
.
I mean it's not right.
Sam's a bright and intelligentyoung man who's got a lot to
offer.
He's strong, fully capable,obviously with his hands.
(07:56):
If he was able to learn somesort of trade that would be able
to excel him in life.
But this is unfortunately theopportunity that's available to
him right now and I know Samwants nothing more than to make
his parents proud and I knowthat one day he's going to do
that and I'm sure they are proudof him today with the growth
(08:19):
that he is showing anddisplaying and acting upon on a
day-to-day basis.
But I just wanted to providethat quick update on Sam.
I'm just super happy for him.
I know that's just a big step,guys.
But again, let's get back intoit.
Last episode we left off at theage of 15, during that time
(08:40):
period that Brian and mom weregoing through a divorce.
So I think this is the time,the moment, that we get into the
first experience with opiates.
I know I kind of touched on ittowards the end of the last
episode, but let's jump rightinto it.
So first experience withopiates was Vicodin and happened
(09:03):
at the age of 16.
Like any I mean I shouldn't saylike any, right, but I guess at
the age of 16, had to get mywisdom teeth taken out, so was
put under some anesthesia.
They went in, extracted allfour wisdom teeth.
Was prescribed Vicodin.
(09:24):
Took the Vicodin for a few days,threw up a few times but liked
the way that it made the pain goaway and really kind of how it
made me feel, right.
But I took it as prescribed.
There was at least half of thepill bottle leftover when I was
done with it and I'd never feltthe urge to go back to it.
(09:46):
Right, sounds like something anormal person would do.
But one thing I noticed wasthat I was able to to slow down
my thoughts because it wasapparent at this time that I
definitely struggled from someracing thoughts, was having a
(10:07):
hard time shutting the brain off, especially at night.
Right, I found myself up,sometimes very late, watching TV
or whatever it may be, justkind of going through different
thoughts in my head and but thisVicodin for those few days.
What I had noticed was thatthat didn't happen and this
(10:31):
would become very significant asthe drug usage and the types of
drugs I end up getting intoprogress.
And after Brian left, a lot ofself-discovery started to take
place.
I started to dedicate myself toyear-round, to focusing on
(10:51):
nothing but baseball.
I made the freshman year, or Imade the freshman team freshman
year, and I ended up becoming apretty decent player and was the
starting catcher.
Even more importantly at thistime, I started to date this
girl named Whitney and I startedto date Whitney actually right
(11:14):
before, sort of started talkingto Whitney right before Brian
left.
But really the relationship Iguess solidified itself after
that had occurred, if you wantto call it that right.
I mean we're in freshman,almost sophomore year at this
point that type of relationship,right.
But you know, whitney didn't goand I didn't go to the same
(11:37):
school.
She went to a private girl'sschool in Phoenix.
But I don't want to dive toodeep into this relationship as
it was a fairly typical, youknow, young high school
relationship.
But what is important to touchon is this is the girl who I
would end up losing my virginityto.
Okay, after it happened, let thestress of being a 15 year old
(12:04):
boy and your girlfriend callingyou telling you that she is late
begin.
The next video will come outright after this.
Oh my God, no way.
Like this is when you know teenmom is out on MTV and I'm like,
am I going to need to be onthis show at some point?
Like what is going on here?
(12:26):
This is not happening, you havegot to be kidding me.
But then at the same time, likeI was always raised to, you
know, accept responsibility, andthat was going to.
That's what I was going to planon doing, right, but I am
living in a mental nightmare atthis point.
So what do I decide to do?
(12:47):
Right, I make a journal, startjournaling.
This journal entry thatdescribes the whole situation,
lays everything out.
And what do I do?
I leave the journal out.
And who comes to read thejournal?
Mom does so.
(13:07):
Now mom finds out about this.
Right, the nightmare becomesworse.
And the talk, introducing thetalk.
Mom comes into my room one night, after, you know, I get home
and she's like Brandon, I needto come talk to us.
So she pulls me into her roomand she sits me down and she's
like what is this?
(13:29):
What is going on?
You're too young, are youkidding me?
Is this really happening?
You know, basically, like dude,wrap it up.
Like what's going, like wetalked about this, wrap the
thing up.
You know, next time you betterwrap it up, otherwise there
(13:49):
won't be a next time because I'mgoing to cut it off, right,
that's basically how you knowhow the speech went at that
point.
But you know, come full circle.
About a week and a half went byof absolute, just pandemonium
stress.
But I wake up that morning, geta phone call hey, everything's
(14:12):
okay, I am never going to touchyou again.
You, this is like.
This is never going to happento me again, but so it's a.
It was a lot to deal with.
Right, like Brian just lefthere I am losing my virginity
for the first time and thinkthat this girl's pregnant.
So, by the way, not to mentiona huge shift in the family
(14:37):
dynamic.
Right, mom bought me a car atthis point, a couple months
before my 16th birthday, so Icould learn how to drive the car
, and it was a manualtransmission, so she wanted me
to have some practice.
But my grandpa would come overand take me driving and teach me
how to change you know, changegears, park, turn.
(14:59):
You know all the, all thetypical stuff that you need to
learn you know as you'relearning to drive.
But this would just be one ofseveral things that my grandpa
spent time with me doing afterBrian moved out, to make sure
that I still had that solid malerole model in my life and I'll
never forget it.
My grandpa is I know I'vementioned this before, but the
(15:22):
single, most honest, best manthat I've ever met in my life.
He is, he's just a.
He was a huge role model.
I mean, he, he did everythingright.
He did everything right and notto mention, he was just
absolutely hilarious.
My grandpa was so, so funny.
(15:46):
But it was also during this timeperiod that I should point out
that grandpa was diagnosed withALS, essentially a form of Lou
Gehrig's disease, where themuscle starts to deteriorate,
deteriorate over time.
But what we need to recognizetoo is that muscles don't just
exist in your arms and your legs.
(16:07):
Of course, you know your, yourheart is a muscle, your lungs
are a muscle, and so Grandpastarted to lose physical ability
to do certain things and timewas starting to run out, and so
(16:28):
that was another thing that atthis time and I'm not gonna sit
here and complain about it Likelife is life, right, things
happen, but it just seemed to bea lot and we're going through a
lot, but that's okay.
We put our game face on and wetackle life head on.
(16:50):
But at this point this issophomore year in high school.
I'm now at Dobson High Schooland I'm 100% dedicated to
nothing but really school andbaseball, and also, of course,
whitney Continue to date,whitney.
Really all through sophomoreyear leading into those next
(17:12):
summer months going into junioryear, I didn't get along with
some of the guys on the baseballteam.
I definitely did not like thehead coach, even though I'm on
varsity baseball, made varsitybaseball with my sophomore year
and I couldn't really standshowing up to practice every day
(17:32):
and even ended up in a scufflewith someone towards I believe
it was actually even the lastday of practice.
So I decided to quit the team.
Baseball became no longerimportant and not only did I
quit baseball, but it was alsotime to quit Whitney.
(17:53):
So we had really essentiallygiven up social life and sports
all at the same time.
And one decision and it was ahuge turning point because at
this point in time I'm nowlooking for new friends in a new
(18:15):
life outside of school, beingthat so much of my time was
taken up with baseball and thenwith Whitney.
But this is an instrumentalchange and it was one that
really significantly changedjunior and senior year for me,
for high school, which, lookingback on, no matter what, two of
(18:38):
the single best years of my life, I mean it was so much fun, I
had a blast, it was amazing andit was as if there was not a
care, right.
But down below there was allthis stuff that just kind of
existed, that was just beingignored and only recognized at
(19:01):
times that it was necessary torecognize, right?
But introducing you now to thehomies, let's get into the
homies.
Kurt, kevin, greg and Matt Ofthe four today I don't really
(19:24):
talk to.
I don't talk to any of them forthe most part.
I check in with Kevin every sooften, miss the guide of death,
but unfortunately Matt's nolonger with us.
He did pass away a couple ofyears ago from what Most likely,
I guess, was drug alcoholrelated, but we don't know that
(19:51):
for sure.
Right, it was his liver, and orI don't know that for sure,
let's just put it that way, Ijust know it was his liver, it
was cirrhosis.
I know Matt struggled for along time with heroin, as did I,
of course, and did a lot of ourfriends or acquaintances at the
time.
(20:12):
But anyways, let's get back intoit.
Because I was driving and myfriends were quickly becoming my
life outside of school, I wasnever really home to spend time
with Megan, andrew and mom.
I would come home to eat, ofcourse, but at this time it
(20:33):
wasn't like we were havingfamily meals together, right,
what was to eat was normally thefastest and easiest thing to
make, or something that we couldmake ourselves.
This wasn't mom's fault.
She was a career woman withthree children to raise, not to
mention she was making a ton ofmoney at this point and was on a
harder path to becoming vicepresident.
(20:55):
But I was working, startingthis summer after sophomore year
, as a camp counselor at aspecial needs camp that the city
of Tempe put on every summercalled Camp Challenge, and then
I was working as a ice attendantat the local ice rink called
Polarice.
So I got to work, got busy, butoutside of work in school I was
(21:21):
with my friends.
Now let's get into the firstexperience with weed.
My first experience with weedcame with my friends, matt, of
course.
I say of course Matt, becauseit seemed like everybody at the
time had their first experiencewith weed with Matt.
(21:43):
I know Kevin did for sure.
I'm sure that means Kirk didtoo, but anyways, it was with
Matt and it was with our friendnamed Corey.
Corey's been in my life stillto this day.
Corey is in my life and we'llget into Corey absolutely
because Corey is, she's a superimportant person to me.
(22:06):
She's just an acquaintance atthis point in time, but she will
always be a lifelong friend andI will always consider that.
But anyways, corey and Matt wewere.
We decided to go down to thislittle park down the street from
my mom's house and we'resitting there and Corey's got
(22:28):
this little metal, this littlemetal pipe that I think she took
from her sister or something,and this weed she took from her
sister, I think too.
I can't remember, but that doessound right, that does sound
like that could definitely be apossibility.
But we're standing there inthis little park, right, and
they load this bowl up and theystart smoking and they pass it
(22:50):
to me and I go to smoke it and Ihave no idea what I'm doing at
this time, right, so I'm notinhaling property, like shit's
not happening, I'm not feelingnothing.
And there's Corey and Mattstoned and I'm like what's going
on here?
How can I not get this right?
So I'm like, screw it.
But mom was dating at the time,so she was gone a lot on the
(23:12):
weekends and of course, I meanshe wouldn't tell us that she
was dating, but she would tellus that she'd go spend the
weekend with the girls, which,of course, sounded believable
enough at the time, and we werehappy for her right.
She was happy, but you know,which meant that we you know
Andrew and I had a lot of alonetime on the weekends at the
(23:33):
house, as you know, during theseyears, and you know Matt and
Corey.
So they're stoned, and Idecided to be a great idea hey,
let's go take them to the icerink and let's go ice skating,
right?
Well, they don't ice skate, Iice skate.
And I'm like what am I?
What's going on?
What are we doing here, right?
Well, I don't understand that.
They're just lazy and beingstoned, right, cause I've never
(23:53):
done this before and I'm justout here skating by myself.
So I'm like, screw it, let's gohome.
So we go home.
Anyways, long story long.
That was essentially the firstexperience with weed.
It failed, but the next time itwas successful, and it wasn't
(24:18):
until a few months after that,matt and I would go to a park
after work.
We worked together at thispoint as bussers, together at
the local Rigatoni's restaurant,and that's when I got stoned
for the first time.
You know, from that nightforward, we will let me tell you
the story, okay?
So we went to the park.
(24:39):
We were with a buddy of oursthat we worked with, a server
who, of course, was much older,right, I think he was I don't
know early 20, something likethat.
So we go to this park and we'relaughing, smoking.
We were giggling and then Imean I'm telling you like we
cannot stop laughing and I'mlike this is the greatest thing
(25:01):
in the world.
This is amazing.
We're like just giggly, likethis.
What's the danger in this?
Right, this is great.
And so from that night forward,we were pretty much smoking weed
on a nightly basis and theneventually it grew into, you
know, the before school, duringschool, during the lunch hour,
(25:22):
and then, of course, afterschool and at night.
You know, it became a lifestylefor us and no matter how
ridiculous that sounds, but whendo we go from here?
So eventually, as Matt, kurt,kevin, greg and I continue to
become popular with the ladies,another group of guys wants to
(25:46):
join forces and we become thismassive group of homies, right
that ultimately, we reallyconsidered each other brothers.
And I start dating Caitlynnumber one at this point, and I
have to say Caitlyn number onebecause there's two Caitlons.
There's another Caitlyn thatcomes after Caitlyn number one
(26:06):
that we'll get into later.
So we have to identify asCaitlyn number one, caitlyn
number two and, unless you havea better suggestion, that's just
what we're gonna go with.
But we'll dive into therelationship with Caitlyn number
one and really get into howthat relationship began to shape
the years to come.
(26:26):
I graduated high school at thispoint in time my grandpa
unfortunately we lost him themonth after I graduated high
school, but he was there towatch me graduate.
It meant the world to me, butthen we lost him shortly after
that.
But on the next episode, guys,as we continue to dive into the
(26:50):
relationship with Caitlyn numberone, we're gonna go into some
significant, significant events.
Unfortunately, I started tolose friends at this point in
time.
I lost two friends back to back, one to a murder suicide and
then another one to a motorcycleaccident, actually in the
(27:12):
opposite order my buddy, joe Mug, to the motorcycle accident
first and then Chip, of course,to the murder suicide that
happened after that.
So we're gonna get into somepretty significant heavy duty
stories, along with how, brandon, how does the drug problem
(27:34):
progress from here?
Well, towards the end of therelationship with Caitlyn number
one, we start a new career in anew industry that's gonna give
us some pretty significantaccess to the opiates in the
pills.
Oxy-co-oxy-cotton, at this timeis going rampant.
(27:56):
Pharmacies are being robbedleft and right and the problem
especially here in Arizona and Iknow in other states around the
nation as well but theOxy-cotton problem becomes a
significant, significant,significant problem.
So we're gonna get into somedeep things, guys.
But really, again, thank you somuch for tuning in, thanks for
(28:20):
listening to today's episode.
I hope that you guys continueto tune in for further episodes
as we dive further into thestory.
But really, from here we'regonna get into some interviews
after the story, some advocacywork, some magic is gonna take
place and it's gonna be amazing.
So again, guys, go follow us atthe successful degenerate.
(28:42):
And again, huge shout out toEric at Above Ground doing some
amazing things for me with thispodcast and really for all his
support.
Thank you, eric, thank you,thank you, thank you.
But till next time, degenerates, talk to you later.
Please subscribe for more ofthis.
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