July 25, 2023 • 59 mins
Ever wondered how a four-time felon becomes a professional? Walk with me, Brandon Caldwell, on a journey as we navigate the intricacies of my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood in the debut episode of the Successful Degenerate Podcast. Experience the raw honesty as we stroll through my fragmented past, starting with a dual-lifestyle shaped by my parents' divorce and culminating in my present-day life as a successful professional.
In this roller-coaster ride, I share tales of divided homes, a complex relationship with my step-brother, Walter, and the after-effects of my parents' custody battles. Listen to the story of a young boy, who broke into his step-brother's heavily guarded room only to stumble upon an unexpected discovery. Throw in some childhood trauma, a pinch of family dynamics, and the strange story of Walter, and you have the recipe for an unforgettable episode. Together, we will traverse the thin line between a child's innocence and the harsh reality of the adult world.
This is not just my story; it's our story. A story of survival, resilience, and growth. From the divided homes of my childhood to the complexities of my relationship with Walter, and the evolution of my family dynamics, I offer an unfiltered perspective. Join me in this journey and be a part of the Successful Degenerate Podcast. Your presence here is deeply appreciated, and I hope you help spread the word, for together, we can all script our triumphant tales.
The Successful Degenerate is produced by Brandon Caldwell and Eric Smith from Abuveground.
Make sure to connect and follow on our socials. Rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Subscribe and follow on your favorite platforms so you're notified when new episodes go live!
https://www.instagram.com/thesuccessfuldegenerate/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up everybody, welcome to the successful
degenerate podcast.
I'm the host, brandon Caldwell,for those of you that don't
know me, and I'm just incrediblygrateful to everyone tuning in
to listen.
I am a man.
(00:52):
This is episode number one.
Guys, we're just kicking thisthing off here.
Can't tell you how excited I amabout this, been wracking my
brain around this for a whilenow.
When I was in let's just hey,man, we're just getting fuck it,
we'll just get right into it.
(01:13):
When I was in prison, I alwaysthought to myself you got a
story, dude, and now I need tobe.
I try to be humble about that.
Everybody has their own story.
Everybody has got their ownstruggles.
Everybody goes through theirown.
You know, everybody has theirown path, right?
You know, mine was just alittle bit different.
(01:36):
I think it shocked some people.
I think it shocked myself.
I think it shocked a lot of thepeople that knew me growing up.
I think it shocked a lot ofclearly, my family members, of
course, but you know it's.
I was just sitting there andwould always think to myself how
(01:58):
am I going to put this storyout right?
Like I'm not a writer, you know, I don't know if I could sit
there and write a book, right, Ido like reading books, but
writing one, I'm guessing thatwould be a completely different
right.
Like you couldn't get me tovoluntarily sit there and write
(02:19):
documents right Over.
There's just, there's just.
I'm not that guy, right, wish Iwas A lot of good, a lot of
good people with obviously a lotof good stories to tell, are.
I mean, that's just not me.
What I can do is talk, ask.
(02:40):
Anybody that truly knows meknows that at times I do have an
issue shutting up.
Let's just put it frank, right,but you know, that's just who I
am.
That's my.
I think a lot of people in myfamily are definitely talkers,
but then, hey, we do have awhole side of the family that is
(03:02):
absolutely not.
And you know, maybe we'll touchon some of those reasons.
But you know again, hey, justyou know, let's just start with
this.
Thank you, guys.
Everybody that's listeningright now, thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Thank you for tuning in, Thankyou for for showing interest in
this thing.
It really does mean a lot.
(03:25):
It's kept.
It's kept me motivated to getthis thing going right.
But yeah, so I've got myself.
I'll be honest, I got myself alittle drink here.
I'm nervous sharing my, mystory.
You know, I do have aprofessional career as well and
(03:45):
so maybe you know, let's just Iguess we could talk on that a
little bit.
Yeah, there are.
There's some fears, absolutelyright.
Like you know, society has thisstigma that you know, if you
have a felony on your record me,I have four, four total, I have
four total felonies.
You know definitely somemisdemeanors around different
(04:08):
cities, here in Maricopa CountyWe'll touch on that later.
But you know, is there, isthere room for someone like me
in in the professional world, inin you know, the industry that
I'm in, you know work for alender, let's just put it that
(04:29):
way.
Sometimes you know someone thatmay have some theft charges, as
I do, would not be welcomed intothat society.
Right, we're breaking barriersand that's what.
That's what.
That's what I plan to continuedoing.
That's what I plan to continuedoing with the show, you know,
and we're just gonna, we're justgonna get to it and I feel like
(04:51):
first we're gonna start at thebeginning.
You know, maybe touch on somechildhood stuff, not spend a
whole lot of time there.
But you know, I think there'ssome.
You know, let's just put itthis way I have some very vivid
memories of being a child thatclearly stand out to me in my
childhood, that were pivotalmoments that that maybe had
(05:13):
shaped later, you know, lateryears in my life, and those are
the events that.
Those are the events that youknow that I'd like to touch on.
But you know we're not gonnadive too much deep or too deep
into some of the the nuance,right, you know we'll.
If there's some interest there,you know maybe we'll share it
later on.
But for the interest of time,you know, we'll keep the story
(05:37):
flowing, hopefully.
But really I think we, where weare going to hit on you know
pretty in depth, starting early2000s, right, 2000,.
Yeah, right, yeah, early 2000s,junior high, high school, right
, I think there's a lot ofthings that happened during
those years that you knowdefinitely had an influence on
(06:01):
how I live my life in my 20s.
And you know where we're goingto dive deep into there,
obviously later 20s, beginningwith where you know trouble
started and to, you know we'lldive into all of that stuff,
right, but and then, includingyou know, we'll focus on, you
know we'll have a prison episode.
(06:22):
I'm sure some of you guys aregonna want some of those stories
, but you know we're not gonnadive too deep there.
You know there might be somestuff that I might you know that
I'll be comfortable sharing Imay be.
There might be some stuff I maynot be comfortable, I don't
know.
We're just gonna flow with it,right.
But what I can promise you witha successful degenerate is
honesty.
I'm not gonna bullshit you.
(06:43):
I am not gonna tell youanything that's a lie or over
exaggerate things.
I am simply giving you my pointof view from how what life
looked like from my eyes.
Right, there might be somefamily members out there that
may disagree with some thingsthat I might say.
There might be some friendsthat may disagree with them,
(07:05):
some things that I might sayalong the way.
Hey, that's fine, I'm justgiving you what I remember.
Right, and there's definitelysome moments in my life where
there's no way I got it wrong.
Sorry, didn't get it wrong, butyou know there might be some
moments where you know we pullMom in or we pull Andrew in, we
(07:26):
pull Megan in for some guidance,right, for some, for an extra
perspective.
You know, maybe, maybe we dosomething like that.
I don't know, we're gonnafigure this shit out right, but
hey, no game plan.
I'm literally sitting here in myoffice at home drinking hand
bear everybody.
(07:48):
Bear, you're gonna learn, is mybest friend.
He is my dog.
He is my everything.
He is a year and a half old.
We will touch on bear a lot,I'm sure, even though he's only
been with me a short period oftime.
This dog has saved my life andhas made made life so much more
(08:10):
enjoyable for me and I hope I dothe same for him.
But he is a.
I found him.
Honestly, we'll just fuck it.
I found him on Craigslist.
He was six weeks old, bornNovember 5th.
He's a year and a half.
So what is that?
2021, november 5th, 2021.
(08:32):
Let's say that right, you know,and we picked him up.
We met this guy I was with, whowas my fiance at the time.
Is her name?
We'll leave, we're gonna leavelast names out of these stories,
but was her name?
She was my fiance at the time.
Obviously, I'm not.
(08:52):
I am single today.
No relationship.
So picked up this dog offCraigslist.
The next morning was just layingthere on the couch one night.
I thought to myself man, I needa freaking dog, right?
Why don't I have a dog?
I'm going to be working fromhome.
That's the only thing that'sever stopped me from having a
dog.
I need a dog.
So looked it up and I had a dogwhen I was a kid, or you know,
(09:13):
growing up the best dog in theworld.
Her name was Abby.
She was a black lab mix Bestdog ever.
I mean, lived to be eight, damn, was she 18?
, 17, 18 years old, right, bestdog ever.
So I was like I, that's what Iwant.
Right, I want a black lab mixand preferably I'd love a pit
(09:33):
mix if possible.
So I went on Craigslist, justtyped in black lab pit mix and
bam, this litter of puppies wasthere.
He was the only black one inthe litter that was showing.
I say it that way because youknow this was Craigslist.
The guy that I met was a littlesketch for sure, I don't know.
And to have only one puppy andthe puppy being six weeks old,
(09:56):
way too early to be away fromhis mom, the whole thing was
just seemed weird, right.
But I was like fuck, you know,this dog is gonna be way better
with me than with this guy whoclearly doesn't want it for
whatever reason.
Let's go grab him.
Anyways, got this dog right.
Saw him lift him in my handsfirst.
Oh, man fell in love.
Oh, what's this dog's name?
Well, we've been calling himBear.
You know what he looks like a?
(10:17):
He looks like a black bear.
Yeah, bear, absolutely love it.
Bear, welcome home.
I love you.
You are my life.
I will make you my life.
I will give you the best lifeever If you will come and accept
me as your dad man.
How could he say no to me?
Right, obviously and I are nolonger together, but you know
was not gonna be giving up thatdog, that's for sure.
(10:39):
So, yeah, it's just Bear and I,bear and I at home.
It's in the office, man In theoffice.
I got a drink bears here, yeah,yeah, he's sleeping by my feet,
where he always is.
Actually, he's got his littlebed over there.
Maybe we'll do an office pickat some point.
Put that on the socials, at thesocial degenerate, at the social
degenerate.
Please, guys, give me some helphere.
(11:00):
Would love it if you could gogive me some love, like I don't
know what they say.
Like, like, subscribe, what,all that bullshit.
Right, do all that stuff, butfor real.
Like, if you give me follow,tell your friends, family about
it, have them check it out.
You know, let's reach somepeople here.
I think we could do some helpor do some good stuff.
You know we'll see what happens.
But I, you know, whateverhappens happens, I'm just gonna
(11:23):
enjoy it along the way.
Hopefully I can help somepeople.
But you know, my plan is fromhere.
You know, we're definitelygonna get into some more
outreach, see how far we cantake this thing.
But you know, of course it allstarts with you guys.
I just I hope you guys enjoythis Now give me some feedback.
You know, if there's anyquestions along the way, guys,
let me know.
You know we can touch oncertain things, but you know why
(11:43):
don't we just dive right intoit?
February 3rd 1987, mesa, arizona, where I was raised, born at,
you know, good Samaritan, desertSam I think it was called
Desert Samaritan on a Dobson inSouthern, across from MCC Mesa
Community College.
There, mother Cindy, father isRobert, or we call him Bob.
(12:04):
We call him nothing at thispoint, we'll get into that later
.
But yeah, so February 3rd.
I think it was born sometime, Idon't know 6am-ish, whatever it
was, but all as well, you knowI had an older brother at that
point.
His name is Andrew, 17 monthsdifference between the two of us
(12:26):
.
So you know, as you can imagine, that led to some a lot of
fighting and arguing anddamaging some doors.
Some good stories, but a greatplaymate along the way.
But yeah.
So February 3rd man, great day,right, best day ever for my mom
.
Her favorite child was born atthat point and, yeah, everything
(12:52):
was good.
Dad was in real estate at thetime, I believe Mom was in, she
worked in the title insurance,she worked for, essentially, a
title agency, your entire careerfor the most part.
But you know, mom was bornmom's from Maryland Air Force
(13:13):
Brat.
You know my grandpa, art.
You know, rest in Peace man,bob Fisher.
Robert Fisher, possibly thebest man, greatest man that ever
walked this planet, you knowwas in the Air Force for 20 plus
years.
So you know, mom is a siblingof.
(13:33):
You know, had two othersiblings, essentially a older
brother and younger brother.
And yeah, so wait, hold on, isUncle Randy older than mom?
Shit, oh man, we're gonna haveto fix that later, I think.
But anyways, yeah, three kids,mom, two brothers, Uncle Randy,
(13:56):
uncle Rob, but yeah, they'refrom mom was born in Maryland,
essentially went grandpa cameout here to Luke Air Force Base
out in Litchfield or whateverthat is out there West Side, and
yeah.
So mom went to Peoria HighSchool.
Dad was from Akron, Ohio, bornin 1940, my dad's an old man.
(14:19):
Mom was born in 1959, okay, so,yeah, you do the math there 19
years difference, right?
So dad was late 40s when I wasborn, mom was late 20s, yeah.
And next thing, you know don'thave a lot of memories from you
(14:40):
know there's those few years,but you know we'll just get
right into the important stuff,right.
So they divorced.
Essentially, I think my dad wasstarting to out age my mom kind
of sorta.
Maybe I don't know, we'll haveto have mom on and you know,
(15:01):
maybe dig into some of thatstuff.
I have talked to mom about itbefore, you know.
So I do know a lot of thebackground there from her
perspective.
But yeah, they got divorced.
I believe I was around threeyears old at the time and then
both went on to remarry aroundthe age of six and really I
think this is kind of where weshould dive into.
(15:24):
Excuse me, guys, I'm over herefucking, I'm over here burping,
anyways, yeah, but that's kindof where the story begins, right
.
So, really, in order to kind offocus this into a narrative
that you know you all willunderstand, I think we really
need to separate the twohouseholds because really it was
(15:47):
it was two differently runhouseholds, completely very
different experience from onehousehold to the other.
One household was a verypleasant place.
The other, you know, kind ofsmoke and mirrors, pleasant,
very unpleasant at times youknow, was really a source of if
(16:10):
there was, you know, any sort ofquote, unquote, childhood drama
or childhood trauma, not dramayou know it would have
definitely come from that house,right.
So that's, I'm referring todad's house when I talk about
that.
So yeah, we really need toseparate out the two households,
(16:32):
and you know.
So I think we need to touch onmom's house and then kind of
focus on dad's house, and it'sreally two different universes,
right.
The only thing that was coolabout it when I was a kid was I
had lots of friends.
I had, you know, dad's houses.
Dad's house had friends, set offriends over there, and I had a
set of friends over at mom'shouse.
(16:54):
And I say it like that becauseit really was two different sets
of friends and we'll touch onthat because, you know, when I
was at dad's house.
There was no calling mom, therewas no visiting mom, there was
no talking to mom, there was notalking to mom's house friends,
because that could essentiallylink back to mom.
You couldn't go over to andvisit your friend, even though,
(17:19):
by the way, dad and mom wereliterally probably three miles
yeah, about three and a halfmiles apart maybe.
At the most.
Growing up dad was in Tempe, momwas in Chandler, but separated
by the 101.
I mean, that's literally it,right?
So if you know the area, youknow the 101 is the boundary
border for Tempe, chandler, mesa, all kind of border right next
(17:42):
to each other.
Grew up with mom over onElliott and Almo school
primarily, so that's Chandlerbut Mesa public school district.
And then dad was in Tempe onthe country club way, which is
basically between the 101 andMcClintock, between Guadalupe
(18:06):
and Baseline, that neighborhoodright Fuller elementary is that
neighborhood Actually funny,believe it or not the street I
grew up on there and that is thehouse that I was born into.
By the way, we should notatethat when mom and dad brought me
home from the hospital, that isthe house I went back to and
that is 2001, east Sesame Street, or 2009,.
(18:30):
2001 or 2009,.
Something along that.
East Sesame Street, sesameStreet yeah, I grew up on
fucking Sesame Street, wildright, and directly across the
street there's a park.
It starts with oh man, I shouldhave this stuff prepared, but
anyways, we'll edit that outlater.
But anyways, the yeah littlepark across the street.
(18:53):
Man, everything seemed reallynice on the outside looking in.
But, truthfully, a lot offucking weird shit happened in
that house later on and we'llkind of touch on that.
But mom and dad divorced threeyears old.
Mom was a single mother at thatpoint of two young boys, no
(19:13):
college education in her 20s.
Dad was the primary breadwinnerin the household, obviously at
that time doing real estate,whatever the fuck else he was
doing, but yeah, so mom had tokind of figure some shit out,
right, and it wasn't easy rightaway.
(19:35):
So she, we were in a town homeat one point can't really tell
you really remember where thatwas at, but I just remember
there was some stairs there andsome shit like that and yeah, we
were in this town home andthat's kind of when she started
to date, you know her then hernext husband, then it, you know
(19:56):
gentlemen named Brian, my, my,my, my stepdad then for
basically from the age of sixthrough the age of 15.
Yeah, not not the best guy, bythe way, I mean not.
Let's not give Brian too muchcredit here.
Great dad at the time, terriblehusband, terrible husband, but
we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,we'll.
(20:17):
We'll touch on that later.
But yeah, they started dating,lived in a town home at the time
.
From there, you know, we jumpedover.
They got married in acourthouse.
I remember Brian had a you knowa mustache, kind of you know
big old glasses at the time.
You know this is the early 90s,so you know we had big, big old
(20:40):
glasses house full of big, bigglasses.
It was funny.
Anyways, yeah, got married in acourthouse and then we got,
they bought a house.
They moved over to a house overoff Marlboro Ellie and Elmo
school, again in the Sorinelementary neighborhood, if
you're familiar with the area.
Yeah, lived there for a fewyears and then eventually, in
(21:01):
fourth grade I believe it wasthey bought the house over on
Curry street and that's kind ofwhere we'll pick it up at.
But yeah, mom and Brian bothworked for title companies
growing up actually the sametitle company, let's just point
that out.
Brian was a technologyspecialist or he was the
(21:22):
essentially the VP of IT for forthe company.
Mom worked her way up startingfrom I mean incredible,
incredible story.
This woman has, by the way, she, you know she worked her way up
from, you know, receptionistanswering phones at this title
agency to, you know, becoming anescrow officer, to then, you
(21:47):
know, running the branch andbecoming a branch manager, to
then having, you know, a largestaff and then eventually
finishing your career with thatsame, with that same title
agency, you know, as a trainingspecialist.
So you know, as they rolled outnew technology and new, new
platforms, because everythingwas going web based at the time
(22:08):
and that was new, you knowversus, you know versus on-prem,
and that was just, it was all.
It was new for everybody, right.
So you know she ended hercareer, you know, as a, as a,
basically a training consultantfor the company, but you know
anyways, let's back up here.
So everything was great, youknow, at mom's house.
And why we started with mom'shouses because we're just going
(22:29):
to keep this super brief.
I love mom's house, had greatfriends growing up.
Tj Tyler was my neighbor there.
He now lives in Australia.
I had Justin good kid, got tolove him, I hate to say, you
know, let's just keep it genuine.
That's how I feel about himright now.
They did some shit after longstory long, but he was a great
(22:51):
friend of mine growing up.
I mean, my best friend growingup lived right around the corner
.
And then Mike Art Rustin peace,mike.
So, yeah, as you will notice aswe go through this story,
unfortunately, you know a lot ofmy high school friends, a lot
of kids that are, you know,people that I grew up with,
either are dead or fell victimto opiates and heroin, and
(23:12):
you'll, you'll see that that's a, that's a trend.
It started out, you know, withpills and other things and but
Mike, mike was one of the firstones to pass.
So Mike had a hard time growingup, you know, out of respect
for his family, when he's notgoing to go too much into it,
but drug issues, he was adopted.
His mother, would you know, wasa drug addict, was adopted by
his aunt and uncle and theyraised him and shortly after,
(23:33):
you know, high school, he passedoverdose, I believe it was.
But yeah, that was one of thefirst ones.
So, yeah, great, anyways, greatfriends.
Growing up enjoyed rollerbladed,played hockey, played a lot of
street hockey as a kid,rollerbladed literally
everywhere, rode my bike,whatever it was.
I was just out and about movingoutside.
Don't keep me in the house,don't want to be there.
(23:54):
Although, you know, had allsorts of video games and shit, I
just wanted to be outside.
Man Just was outside and wealways had a pool and shit and
was outside swimming and youknow everything was great.
Man, mom's house was phenomenal, had an egg.
I wouldn't say I was necessarily.
I mean I was spoiled, but I, Ialso worked.
(24:16):
I, you know parents, you knowmy mom definitely for sure
instilled a really good workethic in me.
You know, as a kid, you know, achore no, don't get I wasn't
always perfect, let's not put itthat way.
I definitely, you know, foughtit for sure, just like a lot of
other kids.
But, you know, had a chore listgrowing up.
You know, was expected to havethat chore list done by the time
(24:39):
mom got home.
You know where dinner wascooked and you know we got into
the nightline.
You know, nightline, yeah,nightline was definitely part of
the routine at the time.
But no, the nightly routine,yeah.
So, but flip side man, let'sjust go right into the fucking
dad's house, right?
Bob called well, robert calledwell, father 1940, born in April
(25:07):
1940.
Like I said, out in Akron Ohio.
Yeah, so parents got divorcedwhen I was three.
Dad kept the house, mom movedout.
Like I said, we were in a townhome at that point, but don't
(25:27):
really remember a lot at thistime when you know my parents
were not.
You know, really life starts forme when Brian, mary mom, and
Mary Mary dad.
Mary's my stepmom.
She's no longer with us.
She passed away a couple ofyears ago I believe.
But but yeah, so that's kind ofwhen, that's kind of when life
(25:52):
begins, right.
So six years old really is kindof the starting point of life.
And you know, dad's house waswhat seemed great, and I think
it seemed great because I wasspoiled, rotten over at that
house.
I'm telling you what, not evenon purpose, like not even really
having to ask for things,things were just given.
(26:13):
My dad and Mary spent a lot offucking money, right, they made
a lot of money in real estatebut spent every single dime of
it and you know, as a kid man Ididn't want for nothing.
I'll tell you that right now.
Always had the newest andlatest video games, you know,
new rollerblades when I neededthem, every couple of years, new
(26:35):
hockey stick when I needed it.
I, you know, was alwaysenrolled in, you know, different
sports, but I and I say thisbecause I really do feel like my
dad used money in objects, inmaterials, and as a way to to,
to kind of buy a love, becausehe wasn't there physically or
(26:56):
emotionally right, but I hadthese things, so maybe these
things would, would do the trick, right, and?
And, and they definitely did, Imean as a kid who wouldn't want
it, right, I didn't say no tothat, you know.
And in fact there were thingsthat I would get and I'd be like
, no, that's not the right one,right, that I mean to that
degree, right.
So, and then how do you turnthat shit off?
(27:16):
Like, right, you're developingthose types of habits at dad's
house.
But then you get to mom's houseand you know mom doesn't have
that type of budget for one.
Nor should you know, should itbe expected that she would know
the bratty behaviors of sayingno and not, and always expecting
, like you know, the when I getthings for it to be like the
(27:36):
best one, right?
No, mom, that's not whathappened at mom's house.
Mom did, mom did a great job.
Mom got us some.
You know, if we needed it, wehad it, let's just put it that
way.
But we didn't have not a wholelot more than that unless it was
earned, right, and so be it,that's.
But that's just how mom raisesand and thank God right.
Thank fucking God right,because I think the other way is
(27:57):
very unhealthy.
Right, looking back, but yeah,that's kind of how it, how it
was.
There was no one or need foranything, you know.
But when my dad married,married Mary, you know she came
with a bonus or a plus one,whatever you want to fucking
call it.
The fucking man, you'll learnthis.
Walter, walter, that is thestep brother.
(28:18):
That is a, an evil, sick,fucking person, right.
And you know we're going to getinto some stories here and
they're going to be, you know,the family.
I don't know what they think onme sharing some of this stuff,
but you know it's, I think it's,it's the truth, it's what
happened, right.
So, you know, I think we needto be honest about it and and
(28:42):
we'll just, we'll leave it atthat.
There's a lot of people outthere, a lot of families out
there, that you know reallysmoke and mirror their fucking
problems right Like a whitepicket fence from the outside,
right.
But you know you, you openthose doors up and there's all
sorts of weird shit, crazy shitgoing on inside and that's what
was going on at dad's house.
Let's just say that.
Let's, that's exactly what wasgoing on at dad's house, right,
(29:03):
beautiful house probably was thenicest house in the
neighborhood From the looks ofher from the outside, I mean
just it.
They were always doing stuff tothe house.
Like you know, I'd show up oneweekend and There'd be a fucking
major hole in the wall wherethey're putting wood postings in
to for some decorative, towhatever bullshit, and Two weeks
(29:26):
later I come back and out ofwalls filled, back in again same
wall Like this.
I mean, it's like they weredoing shit like that, like just
weird shit, like cutting holesin the walls and then filling
the whole the wall, that as likehome improvement projects, like
trying to like make it, andthen they found out later on
that there was like somestructural or Support stuff that
(29:48):
couldn't be taken out, so itjust didn't look right.
Anyways, just blowing money,right, blowing money on just
random shit, always.
You know, yeah, they were.
I mean, they brought it in.
I mean they?
Well, they brought it inbecause they were fucking
working.
They worked, dad worked all thetime, every day, seven days a
week.
Well, that's what.
That's what was my perceptionas a kid Come to find out later
(30:12):
on.
And they were not alwaysworking, they were gambling, but
at the same time.
But you know, you didn't didn'tknow that as a kid, just
actually found that out a fewmonths ago.
Thank you, dad, for giving methat little nugget to chew on.
Yeah, dude, fuck, I meanasshole, what an asshole, right.
But anyways, let's go back toWalter.
(30:33):
Walter, I believe.
For the life of me I can'tremember.
I don't know his exact ageright now, so I can't give you.
I want to.
I want to say he's got likeeight years on me.
I believe it's eight yearsbecause, well, let's put it this
way, I was six.
Yeah, eight years.
Yeah, yeah, it's gotta be eightyears.
Because I was six when dad andMary got married and he was 16.
(30:56):
But hey, this dude was 16 andlook like he was 40.
I'm not fucking kidding, likehe's it.
First off, he's Italian, he'sHarry, as fuck, grown man beard
at the age of like 14, like fullgrown like the thickest.
I mean maybe I got some, Idon't know.
I don't want to put pictures upof people, but yeah, I mean, if
(31:17):
you could imagine, uh, heplayed hockey.
He was really good at hockeyand he was a big defenseman.
He probably 220 as a 16 yearold I mean the thighs, the
fucking size of your head big,strong dude at 16.
That looked like he was afucking 38 year old, grown,
(31:37):
fucking man that had beenthrough two wars.
I mean, literally, that's likehow I would describe the way he
looked, not that he was haggard,but you know, because I think
he always presented himselfnicely, but he was.
He looked way, way older thanyou know.
That then his age to me, atleast at the time.
(31:57):
Right, my, that was myperception.
But Walter Walter's real.
What Walter's dad died when hewas 14?
Of a heart attack.
I believe it was out in NewYork.
So Walter and Mary are from NewYork, new York City, queens, I
believe it was, or Long Islandor something or maybe all of the
above, but yeah, they're fromthe.
(32:19):
They were from the city andafter big.
So Walter Walter's a junior.
His dad's, his dad's name wasWalter as well.
He's a senior, that was his dad, senior Walter, senior Passway
was 14.
They moved out here and my dadand Mary met I've some somehow
through you know dad doing realestate or whatever it was and
they started dating and next,you know they're getting, you
(32:40):
know they're getting married.
So but Walter at the time wasplaying hockey Competitive
hockey, I don't know, maybe thenowadays I think they call it
triple a hockey or somethinglike that.
But you know that he went out toBismarck, north Dakota as a 16
year old.
You know, basically he had dadbought him a truck and it was a
grave or tan forward f-150.
(33:03):
I believe it was.
And yeah, he went out toBismarck or Bismarck, north
Dakota to go play a play, playtrip or play, play junior hockey
.
And you know Snakes, you knowit's you use out there for a
couple years or whatever it was.
So you know, walter wasn'treally around there at the
beginning, only around mainlyholidays and stuff like that
when you'd come back.
(33:23):
But I loved Walter as a kid Ithought I looked up, I idolized
the guy.
All right, he did what I wantedto do on to play hockey,
fucking.
He did some cool shit right,like, yeah, he played for,
played for the Roadrunners atsome.
At one point and I rememberwatching him play and man, he
lit this guy up.
And then he's next, you knowhe's, he's ripping the gloves
off and taking this guy to theground and punching him in the
face.
I mean, just beat the shit outof this guy, right.
(33:45):
Next thing, you know he'swalking out with his bag at half
.
You know before, before youknow the second periods up and
you know we're leaving.
You know.
So it was shit like that and Iwas like, oh man, that's cool.
So that that's kind.
You know, that's kind of how Ilook, how I looked at him, right
, like he was.
He was the big dude, bigbrother, and kind of scared of
him, but at the same time Iwanted to one of them to like me
(34:05):
and I wanted to do what he did,right.
So, you know, walter ended upeventually.
Now I'm gonna put it from what'sbeen told.
Now, what do I think happened?
I think there's some weird shitthat definitely happened up in
North Dakota that cost him tocome back home, right, because
he threw everything away, leftall of his hockey equipment
(34:26):
there, just up and came after hegraduated from high school,
come, came home.
I think he made a stopsomewhere, was living out of his
truck, was drinking heavily atthe time, major alcoholic at
this point, at this point intime in his life, drinking At
least an eight, I mean comingdamn near an 18 pack, probably
at this point a day, you know.
(34:49):
And next thing, you know Waltwas coming home and moving back
in and Got this.
You know, really cool older youknow step brother and you know
Andrew's there, obviously, andyou know thinking that this is
gonna be cool.
You know, get to play somehockey and got two brothers to
play hockey with.
It doesn't get much cooler thanthat, right?
This is kind of when shitstarts to get weird.
(35:11):
Okay, and I'm gonna preface thislike guys, this is the clearly
a mature audience show, okay.
So this is honesty andtransparency at its finest right
.
So we're gonna get into someshit.
We're gonna get into some shit.
It's fucking weird Looking back.
I didn't know it was weird atthe time, clearly, but you know,
looking back on it now isfucking weird, really weird.
(35:35):
It's just fucking weird.
There's no other way to put it.
So you know I'm I keep sayingthat you guys are probably
sitting there like Brandon.
What was what's fucking weird.
Tell us what the fuck happenedright now.
But no, seriously, guys, likethis is gonna be, it's gonna be
some weird shit.
So, you know, we're justfucking kind of get into it,
right.
So Walter comes back home andGot this big step brother that
(35:59):
that I idolize and look up toand he, you know, develops a
really strong bond with withAndrew and you know, and I
wanted in on that inner circleand sometimes it was difficult,
but you know, there's a lot ofdifferent events and and you
know things that happen withWalter along the way.
That you know, maybe we'll diveinto some specifics because
(36:22):
Ultimately, he's fucking evil,he's an evil guy, he's an evil
person, he still walks thisearth and he's fucking
disgusting.
But but yeah, so Walter's athome and I got this older
brother and I Don't even knowhow to say I don't even.
How do I see, how do I?
How do you even get into thisstuff, dude?
Like how am I?
I'm just sitting here in a roomtalking to myself, really right
(36:43):
, but like it's like no one'slistening, I mean, but damn, I
feel like the fucking wholeworld's listening, right, but
it's like Jesus Christ, it'sjust fucking weird, dude, so
early on, you Know, as a bigbrother would, I guess, maybe,
but I think it was just tooearly for I was just too early.
It's just some weird shit.
But right, like you know,fucking Walter had porn and
(37:06):
stuff in in his room.
Walter was always in his roomand, like, always kept his door
closed.
It was always like Do not go inWalter's room, do not go in
there.
Right, do not go, do not openhis door unless you ask him to
open his.
Make sure you knock if thatdoor is closed before you.
Just all that shit, right, cuzI mean, he's an older Teenager
(37:26):
and here he is living with afucking, you know, I'm probably
eight or nine at this point,right, let's just get into that.
Like that's, this is probablythe age right and at this point
in time, and, and you know he's,I'm sure, not enjoying it, but
hey, teach their own right, youshouldn't come back home.
You knew you're getting into.
But you know he's drinkingheavily at this point, right,
let's point those, I'm gonnacontinue to point that out.
(37:48):
And Cognito, he used to keep hisbeer.
I don't know if there was acooler in his room or whatever
it was, but he used to keep hisbeer in his room and so he'd go
back to his room and he'd alwayshave this red solo cup and he
would just pour his drinks andis whatever in this red solo cup
.
So he's would sit in this chair.
That was, like you know, 15, 20feet away from the couch, and
(38:13):
you know, by himself, andeverybody would be on the couch.
So you know, I don't, you know,I'm sure he just sat there and
got drunk looking back on it.
That's kind of the environment,right?
So, yeah, walter, come to findout.
There was one day I, I opened uphis door, I was like you know
what, what, what the fuck's,what is he hiding in here?
And you know, go to flip on hiscomputer, right he's.
He had a computer.
That this is in the 90s, guys,right, like computers were not
(38:36):
around a Whole lot back then,right.
But when we had a and he had acomputer in his room and my dad
had a computer out in the livingroom office area, whatever it
was dial up, internet, whateverit was, you know that sort of
thing, right?
You go, fucking plug in thephone line and you know, you
pick up the phone and dad yellsa.
I put the phone down.
(38:57):
Hey, put the phone down, it'soff.
What the fuck?
Right, like that's what wasgoing on, right?
So, anyways, I flipped thecomputer on and boom, right
there on the home screen, bigold titties, and I'm like holy
shit.
And I'm like nine, ten yearsold, right, and I'm like, oh man
, those are cool, right, likeyou know.
And and yeah, so good.
(39:19):
And then I it was like, well,what's over here in this drawer,
right?
So I open this drawer up right,and there's a.
He had a pistol.
He had a big old pistol, ifrevolver, right, he had a big
old revolver and underneath therevolver was these, or I think
the revolver was in the, thecloset or something.
But and the drawer was allthese porno magazines.
And I always wondered, likeWalter is always the one check
(39:43):
my, I got the mail, like I'llcheck the mail, right, you know,
walter's always one checking iskids, he's getting this fucking
litter fucking porno magazinesent to the house, right, like
this wasn't when porno was on,was easily accessible on the
internet.
Like you know, dudes fuckinghad magazines sent to their
goddamn house.
Or you picked him up at the,the circle K on the corner right
and and Walter had a lot ofthem had a lot.
(40:05):
And as a ten-year-old, I'm likeyou know what the fuck is this,
right, and you know.
So let's just we're pointingthis out, because what comes
next is is an evolution of this.
You know, walter thought I'd becool to fucking watch porn with
his little brothers as Close toporn as you could get at those
date.
Like those times, right, like,for example, private parts, was
(40:26):
one of our favorites to watch,right, if anybody ever watched
the Howard Stern private partsBack in, you know, in the 90s,
man, it was like titties every,every other scene, right, and as
a ten-year-old boy, this waslike this had a profound effect
on me.
Yeah, saying these like, yeah,just anyway, so like, and we do
(40:48):
when we watch it a lot, you knowdad and Mary would be, you know
, at work, so we watch thatmovie several times.
And we watch other stuff, likeyou know, other rated Rx, like X
rated type movies that had, youknow, a lot of nudity and stuff
like that, and we did that alot During the day, even you
know they'd be at work and I'mten-year-old boy and you know.
(41:11):
So we're gonna get right into aspecific story.
So one of the times we'rewatching private parts on the
couch right.
And this is.
This is a fucking traumaticevent.
This is a young little boy.
I'm like ten years old, right,and I'm sitting there, you know,
as you do as a kid, I'm sittingthere and look, my little boxer
shorts, right, little, I thinkthey're a little red plaid boxer
(41:32):
shorts, right, but like littleboys, boxer shorts had the
little slit in the front rightand the hole.
There's no button or whatever.
Anyways, I'm ten years old,right, sitting on the couch
watching private parts withAndrew and Walter, and Try not
to make it's like now, it's likenot even at the weird point
anymore, it's just like it'ssomething that we just did right
and like it's just fucking.
(41:53):
Anyways, ten-year-old boy, popa boner, or maybe like a little
tiny one or something, whateverit was right.
I go to stand up and my little,my little penis is hanging out a
little thing.
Little guy, little pepe, he washanging there right out of my
boxers and you know, and Ifyou've, walter turns to me and
(42:15):
he starts laughing and he's justlaughing and laughing, laughing
, and I'm like what are youlaughing at?
What are you laughing at?
What are you laughing at?
And he's like laughing at meand he's just laughing and and I
, fucking, I look down, I'm like, oh no, like, right, like I can
see my little way hanging there, right, so I go to tuck it away
and I run and I run and I runback into my room, right,
(42:38):
because I'm embarrassed at thispoint.
I'm like, and he's just laughingat me and he starts calling it
a like some sort of nickname,right, like, making fun of me,
like, right, I'm a ten-year-oldboy, like like, obviously, my,
my, my penis is a it's quitetiny at this point, right, and
and so so, yeah, he makes anickname for my little wiener
(43:02):
and he goes around and tells allthe neighborhood boys as they
come around to the house, likewhat happened and how small my
penis is, and that he's neverseen anything so small and that
it was Some nickname or whatever.
And so now all my friendsaround the neighborhood are
calling me this nickname that Ididn't like, and my brother's
making it worse and yeah, and Ijust fucking hated him for it.
(43:24):
I hated him for it.
And and I say like, yeah, itwas weird.
Like, who, like what older,fucking like 1819, whatever,
what?
18 year old it's gonna sitthere and watch fucking nudie
movies with his little brothersat home all day, right, like,
fucking, go do something, dude,like you fucking weirdo.
And Anyways, yeah, long storylong, fucking, he Starts making
(43:53):
fun of me.
And now all my neighborhoodfriends are making fun of me and
you know, my brother knowsabout this.
And I tell my brother, youbetter not tell my friends over
at mom's house or I'll kill you.
Because, like, obviously, likegoing back to mom's house, like
you can separate the twohouseholds, right, what goes on
at dad's house doesn't need togo on a mom's house.
No, no, of course not.
You know, brother fuckingbrought that name over.
(44:14):
I don't think it.
I don't think he told any of myfriends about it, but you know,
he definitely kind of poked atme a little bit about not, but
it kind of went he With him andwhen it was just him and I at
mom's house, like it went away,right.
But when we get back to dad'shouse, like they pick it right
back up again and it would justfucking.
And so you know, and I say this,like how it affected me later
(44:37):
on, like you know, you startgetting into you know I was an
athlete growing up and you startgetting into locker rooms and
you don't want to show it.
You like you're looking ateverybody and you're thinking,
like you know, you don't want tobe the kid that you know kids
are mean, dude.
I mean kids are mean, kids arefucking mean.
You don't want to.
The fucking kids, the dudesgoing around on the team, going
around to the girls in theschool and say, hey, fucking
(44:59):
call, well has got a, you know,a small fucking dick, right?
So I left my shorts on all thetime.
I didn't want to get naked inthe locker room, I didn't want
to.
And so you know, and yeah, Imean, like, obviously, guys,
today, like it's fine, I meanthat was something that happened
and you know we're gonna kindof move on from there.
And but I say that because itgets weirder.
(45:20):
It gets, it gets weirder Atthis time period, guys, my dad
starts and marry primarily.
I should point this out, let'spoint this out, let's point out
the dynamic between the twohouseholds at this point.
So how the custody worked ismom had me half the year during
the school year.
(45:41):
Dad had me during the summers,okay, and or had Andrew and I.
And you know, basically duringthe summers I'd spend two weeks
with my dad and then I'd go backto mom's house for a weekend
and then I'd go back for twoweeks, right, and that's kind of
how we spent the summers.
And then during the school yearit was the opposite, you know,
with mom for two weeks and thenI'd go see dad on the weekends
(46:03):
and then holidays was arotational schedule, all sorts
of weird shit, right.
But the handoffs here's wherehere, here's where it gets funny
, right, like my, my mom and mydad, after they got divorced,
had a cordial relationship.
There was no problems, like.
They had no problemscommunicating.
You know, it seemed like the,the divorce was amicable, you
(46:24):
know, no major, no majorbreakdowns at that point, right.
But you know, introduced Maryand the dynamic gets fucked.
Mary was very manipulative,jealous person and, for whatever
reason, hated my mom, and sohow they communicated, or
started to communicate, was vialetter.
So whenever we'd be dropped offat, you know, mom's house, I'd
(46:45):
be bad.
A little letter in my hand oh,here, mom is from Mary, right,
and it'd be like a, you know,weird fucking communicative shit
or whatever things that she'ddo or whatever things that she'd
want to say, and sometimes it'dbe, you know, child support
checks and stuff like that andthat's kind of how you know the
communication went back andforth, never by phone, it was
always via letter and we werethe, we were the the mules for
(47:08):
that letter, right, and mybrother and I, and that's kind
of how that, how that worked andand, like I said before, you
know when, when you're at dad'shouse, there's no communicating
with mom.
That was not allowed.
Okay, there was a lot of thingslike the phone cord at home was
taken.
At times it was unplugged outof the wall.
At times, you know, when dadand Mary were not around, the
(47:28):
phone cord was definitely out ofthe wall because they did not
want.
You would think you'd want tohave your kid having access to a
phone, but nope, that's not thecase, said they would unplug
that shit and they would say, oh, we don't want the phone
ringing, right?
Who unplugged their fuckinghome phone, right?
No, was on purpose.
So that way, that way Cindywasn't calling and that way the
kids couldn't call Cindy or they.
(47:48):
You know, that's sort of shit.
I fucking know the story.
You don't fucking lie to me andit just all just weird shit.
Man, that whole fucking placewas fucked up, right, but at the
same time.
We'll get into this a little bit.
You know dad's kind of coercingAndrew and I To.
You know, move in with himfull-time.
Right, things are great guys,right, don't you love all this
(48:11):
stuff that we've gotten you likeyou get to play hockey here
with your friends and have allthis freedom.
And you know you got them alldown the road and all this.
You know sun splash, passes andall this other stuff, right,
like life so great over.
Oh, yeah, dad, life's great.
Like, oh, yeah, I'd love tocome stay with you, dad for sure
.
Like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, all right, we'll
back in court.
We go Next thing.
(48:34):
You know Andrew and I are havingto go see some doctor.
We're, I don't know what thisdoctor is, but she's a doctor
and and we get pulled into thisdoctor come to find out it's a
counselor later on.
But yeah, oh, back then whenyou're going through custody
battles like this, they wantedthe kids or the children to seek
or see a professional counselorassigned by the court to kind
(48:57):
of Look into things from thechild's perspective, right, so
we go in there and it's comical,you know, I'm telling the
everything is great and all thisstuff.
And then she's like yeah, nowwe're gonna bring your father
and I'd like to just ask himsome questions, you know, and
I'd like you guys to stay inhere while I do so, but you know
, really, these are questionsfor your dad, so I don't want
(49:18):
you answering for him.
Okay, sure, lady, of course, noproblem at all, right?
So dad comes in the room and,hey, so, father, why don't you
go ahead and name, you know, whydon't you name five of your son
Brandon's friends?
Sure, no problem.
Well, there's Sam and there'sTimmy and there's Jeremy and
(49:43):
there's Sam and Timmy.
And I'm listening to threeneighbors off at my dad's house.
Right, it's it, it's all heknows.
Doesn't know any my schoolfriends, doesn't know any of my
friends at my mom's house.
Doesn't know any of that shit.
Right, can't name.
Right, and she starts goinginto some other stuff.
(50:04):
Right, and that was just one ofthe questions that I remember
vividly.
I'm like, dad, how do you notknow my friends?
Like I talked to you about allmy friends all the time.
Like you know, you know youhave Walter.
Take me to Justin's house, Like, or go pick up Justin to go to
Sun Splash.
Like you know this stuff.
Like what are you talking about?
Right?
(50:25):
And just kind of a shockingsituation, right, we'll come to
find out.
So dad was trying to get custodyright, came, came back to bite
him in the ass nothing changed.
But I'm pointing this outbecause what if?
What if?
Oh, thank God for that thatcounselor, doctor, because she,
(50:45):
I think, honestly that personreally kind of halted it because
Come to find out later on.
You know, that lady, you know,basically said there's no way in
hell I'd ever get fucking fullcustody of that guy.
So I don't know what dad did,right, but he clearly did not
have the right answers.
He failed that test.
But I don't know.
(51:07):
I mean he probably spent abunch of money right trying to
fucking fight that battle and Idon't know what that shit costs
nowadays, but I'm sure it's notcheap.
I mean none of that shit'scheap, right.
But so you know he lost.
He lost, thank God, thank God.
But in the mix of this let'sget back to the weird shit.
(51:30):
Andrew was always Walter'sfavorite.
Okay, let's just point thatthat that out.
I think it was because Andrew'san old soul Really is, always,
has been, you know, alwaysacting mature for his age,
Always got along with olderpeople, more more so than he did
, you know, kids his own age,you know Andrew liked the adult
(51:52):
table let's just put it that wayversus the kid table.
That's just him.
You know, that's just mybrother, and Love him to death.
Love my brother to death.
Didn't love me, it doesn't lovehim so much when I was a kid,
but no, I love my brother and,but I say that because you know
he's Walter, he was Walter'sfavorite, right.
So there was one summer thatWalter and Andrew, you know,
(52:22):
went back to New York and spentthe whole summer there no, I'm
sorry, not the whole summer,about two weeks, kind of
visiting some family that youknow, marion, you know had in
the area that obviously we'restill Walter's family as well,
part, you know, part, partly myfamily, but didn't really,
didn't really consider them,like you know, direct family
(52:43):
members, right.
But anyways, long story long,they went back there for two
weeks and, you know, enjoyedthemselves, walked around the
city, you know, saw the sights,did all the tourist stuff, and
you know I'm back at home, youknow, back at dad's house, kind
of sitting there, you know, alittle jealous, right, like you
know, feeling like I wasn't, youknow, good enough to be
(53:04):
included or or didn't, you know,provide enough value to go
Right, like for whatever reason.
So, you know, they get backfrom New York and you know how
was the trip and everything wentgreat and everything was all
you know hunky dory and stufflike that.
Well, well, this was a reallybig moment because we were, you
(53:25):
know, essentially teenagers atthis point.
You know, andrew in this, whenthis, when they took that trip,
was, you know, I Know that, Iknow that I really think about
it probably more like 13, right?
So you know, young teenage boyI'm, I'm probably 11 or 12, but
you know, andrew gets back.
Andrew and Walter get back fromNew York and you know we're,
(53:48):
we're about really a year or twoaway from, or just a couple
years away from, you know,andrew, being able to start
driving.
So, and I and I say that thatbecause that's an important
moment in time, right, because,with this custody thing that we
have going on, you know, andrew,having a car would give us the
freedom, hopefully, of beingable to go back and forth, you
(54:12):
know, more freely, like when wechose to versus, you know, when
the court decided it was timefor us to go over to, you know,
to rotate houses.
So you know, dad bought Andrewa brand new car when he was when
he first 16th birthday and andShortly after this it was
(54:35):
discovered that an incident hadtaken place Back when we were
teenage boys and we're justgonna like, essentially leave it
at at that.
So an incident took place.
It was a major incident thattook place and it was big enough
to cause a multi divide in thisin this family, and you know
(55:02):
this news had come out and thiswas big news for the family.
And when the news had come out,it was shared with you know,
with dad and Mary, and you know,of course, everybody kind of,
you know, knew what happened,what happened at this at this
point in time, but there was noaction taken, right.
So there was action taken on mymom's side of things, you know,
(55:24):
protect, to protect us boys.
But as far as my dad goes, youknow this incident had to had
had to do with something withWalter and you know, as we know,
you know Walter is still livingat home at this point.
You know, never moved out,never decided to move out, was
not working, was not aproductive member of of society
(55:47):
by any any stretch of theimagination.
And you know, dad basicallysaid you know, what am I
supposed to do?
Kind of threw his hands up inthe air.
Well, you know, as yourbiological children, you would
think that you would want to dosomething to protect us, but
(56:07):
that's not what he did.
That's not what he did.
He chose to ignore thesituation and the incident that
occurred.
So at this point in time, therewas some things that took place
with the courts that you knowprohibited us from going over to
our father's house in order tomake sure that, you know, we
didn't have any contact withWalter at all, and it was at
(56:32):
this time that, because Andrewwas driving, you know, we
obviously were not going tovoluntarily just go over to
dad's house, but you know, wewere told that, you know, on
certain occasions Walterwouldn't be there and that we
should come over, so reluctantlybecause of course, we're still
teenage boys and technically wekind of still have to right,
(56:56):
because there's this court orderin place.
You know, we would go and seedad and Mary on, you know,
holidays and special occasionsand you know, Mary kind of
always had this like attitudetowards us.
Like, you know, you guys didthis like how dare you Like you
(57:16):
guys?
You know you guys are liars andthat sort of thing, and that
just wasn't the case, right?
But you know, so we'd, you knowwe'd go over there and things
would you know be totally fakeand superficial.
You know a meal would be hadand essentially, you know that's
(57:36):
about as far as it went.
But it was really at this timethat the dynamic of the family
really shifted, right, becausewe were seeing our dad less
often, we weren't forced to goover there, and it was an
opportunity for us to spend moretime at mom's house and really
get a chance to live out theremaining portion of our
childhood, right?
Well, I think that this is agood point in time to really
(58:03):
stop on dad's house and shiftfocus over to mom's house.
So, with that being said, guys,I think that this is going to
conclude episode one.
Thank you again, everybody fortuning in.
Man, we're just getting startedand I just cannot thank you
guys enough and express theamount of gratitude that I have
(58:25):
for the time that you guys justspent listening to the freaking
drama that is.
That was, you know, my lifejust there for a little while.
So, but, guys, again,successful degenerate podcast,
visit us on Instagram or any ofthe socials.
There the handle will be thesuccessful or at the successful
(58:48):
degenerate.
And again, you know, help us out, please get the message out
there.
You know, share with yourfamily and friends, see if we
can get you know some peopleinterested in this thing.
Let's take this thing off.
I think it's.
You know it's going to be ajourney and it's going to be one
that is not obviously going tocome without its hardships along
(59:10):
the way, and you know, havingbattle lows in the past, that's
for sure, right.
So you know we're just going totake those head on as they come
and it's going to be, it's justgoing to be great guys, and I
just I'm so grateful that youguys are, are going to be with
me along the way and to that,see you later degenerates.
What's up everybody, welcome to the successful
degenerate podcast.
I'm the host, brandon Caldwell,for those of you that don't
know me, and I'm just incrediblygrateful to everyone tuning in
to listen.
I am a man.
(00:52):
This is episode number one.
Guys, we're just kicking thisthing off here.
Can't tell you how excited I amabout this, been wracking my
brain around this for a whilenow.
When I was in let's just hey,man, we're just getting fuck it,
we'll just get right into it.
(01:13):
When I was in prison, I alwaysthought to myself you got a
story, dude, and now I need tobe.
I try to be humble about that.
Everybody has their own story.
Everybody has got their ownstruggles.
Everybody goes through theirown.
You know, everybody has theirown path, right?
You know, mine was just alittle bit different.
(01:36):
I think it shocked some people.
I think it shocked myself.
I think it shocked a lot of thepeople that knew me growing up.
I think it shocked a lot ofclearly, my family members, of
course, but you know it's.
I was just sitting there andwould always think to myself how
(01:58):
am I going to put this storyout right?
Like I'm not a writer, you know, I don't know if I could sit
there and write a book, right, Ido like reading books, but
writing one, I'm guessing thatwould be a completely different
right.
Like you couldn't get me tovoluntarily sit there and write
(02:19):
documents right Over.
There's just, there's just.
I'm not that guy, right, wish Iwas A lot of good, a lot of
good people with obviously a lotof good stories to tell, are.
I mean, that's just not me.
What I can do is talk, ask.
(02:40):
Anybody that truly knows meknows that at times I do have an
issue shutting up.
Let's just put it frank, right,but you know, that's just who I
am.
That's my.
I think a lot of people in myfamily are definitely talkers,
but then, hey, we do have awhole side of the family that is
(03:02):
absolutely not.
And you know, maybe we'll touchon some of those reasons.
But you know again, hey, justyou know, let's just start with
this.
Thank you, guys.
Everybody that's listeningright now, thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Thank you for tuning in, Thankyou for for showing interest in
this thing.
It really does mean a lot.
(03:25):
It's kept.
It's kept me motivated to getthis thing going right.
But yeah, so I've got myself.
I'll be honest, I got myself alittle drink here.
I'm nervous sharing my, mystory.
You know, I do have aprofessional career as well and
(03:45):
so maybe you know, let's just Iguess we could talk on that a
little bit.
Yeah, there are.
There's some fears, absolutelyright.
Like you know, society has thisstigma that you know, if you
have a felony on your record me,I have four, four total, I have
four total felonies.
You know definitely somemisdemeanors around different
(04:08):
cities, here in Maricopa CountyWe'll touch on that later.
But you know, is there, isthere room for someone like me
in in the professional world, inin you know, the industry that
I'm in, you know work for alender, let's just put it that
(04:29):
way.
Sometimes you know someone thatmay have some theft charges, as
I do, would not be welcomed intothat society.
Right, we're breaking barriersand that's what.
That's what.
That's what I plan to continuedoing.
That's what I plan to continuedoing with the show, you know,
and we're just gonna, we're justgonna get to it and I feel like
(04:51):
first we're gonna start at thebeginning.
You know, maybe touch on somechildhood stuff, not spend a
whole lot of time there.
But you know, I think there'ssome.
You know, let's just put itthis way I have some very vivid
memories of being a child thatclearly stand out to me in my
childhood, that were pivotalmoments that that maybe had
(05:13):
shaped later, you know, lateryears in my life, and those are
the events that.
Those are the events that youknow that I'd like to touch on.
But you know we're not gonnadive too much deep or too deep
into some of the the nuance,right, you know we'll.
If there's some interest there,you know maybe we'll share it
later on.
But for the interest of time,you know, we'll keep the story
(05:37):
flowing, hopefully.
But really I think we, where weare going to hit on you know
pretty in depth, starting early2000s, right, 2000,.
Yeah, right, yeah, early 2000s,junior high, high school, right
, I think there's a lot ofthings that happened during
those years that you knowdefinitely had an influence on
(06:01):
how I live my life in my 20s.
And you know where we're goingto dive deep into there,
obviously later 20s, beginningwith where you know trouble
started and to, you know we'lldive into all of that stuff,
right, but and then, includingyou know, we'll focus on, you
know we'll have a prison episode.
(06:22):
I'm sure some of you guys aregonna want some of those stories
, but you know we're not gonnadive too deep there.
You know there might be somestuff that I might you know that
I'll be comfortable sharing Imay be.
There might be some stuff I maynot be comfortable, I don't
know.
We're just gonna flow with it,right.
But what I can promise you witha successful degenerate is
honesty.
I'm not gonna bullshit you.
(06:43):
I am not gonna tell youanything that's a lie or over
exaggerate things.
I am simply giving you my pointof view from how what life
looked like from my eyes.
Right, there might be somefamily members out there that
may disagree with some thingsthat I might say.
There might be some friendsthat may disagree with them,
(07:05):
some things that I might sayalong the way.
Hey, that's fine, I'm justgiving you what I remember.
Right, and there's definitelysome moments in my life where
there's no way I got it wrong.
Sorry, didn't get it wrong, butyou know there might be some
moments where you know we pullMom in or we pull Andrew in, we
(07:26):
pull Megan in for some guidance,right, for some, for an extra
perspective.
You know, maybe, maybe we dosomething like that.
I don't know, we're gonnafigure this shit out right, but
hey, no game plan.
I'm literally sitting here in myoffice at home drinking hand
bear everybody.
(07:48):
Bear, you're gonna learn, is mybest friend.
He is my dog.
He is my everything.
He is a year and a half old.
We will touch on bear a lot,I'm sure, even though he's only
been with me a short period oftime.
This dog has saved my life andhas made made life so much more
(08:10):
enjoyable for me and I hope I dothe same for him.
But he is a.
I found him.
Honestly, we'll just fuck it.
I found him on Craigslist.
He was six weeks old, bornNovember 5th.
He's a year and a half.
So what is that?
2021, november 5th, 2021.
(08:32):
Let's say that right, you know,and we picked him up.
We met this guy I was with, whowas my fiance at the time.
Is her name?
We'll leave, we're gonna leavelast names out of these stories,
but was her name?
She was my fiance at the time.
Obviously, I'm not.
(08:52):
I am single today.
No relationship.
So picked up this dog offCraigslist.
The next morning was just layingthere on the couch one night.
I thought to myself man, I needa freaking dog, right?
Why don't I have a dog?
I'm going to be working fromhome.
That's the only thing that'sever stopped me from having a
dog.
I need a dog.
So looked it up and I had a dogwhen I was a kid, or you know,
(09:13):
growing up the best dog in theworld.
Her name was Abby.
She was a black lab mix Bestdog ever.
I mean, lived to be eight, damn, was she 18?
, 17, 18 years old, right, bestdog ever.
So I was like I, that's what Iwant.
Right, I want a black lab mixand preferably I'd love a pit
(09:33):
mix if possible.
So I went on Craigslist, justtyped in black lab pit mix and
bam, this litter of puppies wasthere.
He was the only black one inthe litter that was showing.
I say it that way because youknow this was Craigslist.
The guy that I met was a littlesketch for sure, I don't know.
And to have only one puppy andthe puppy being six weeks old,
(09:56):
way too early to be away fromhis mom, the whole thing was
just seemed weird, right.
But I was like fuck, you know,this dog is gonna be way better
with me than with this guy whoclearly doesn't want it for
whatever reason.
Let's go grab him.
Anyways, got this dog right.
Saw him lift him in my handsfirst.
Oh, man fell in love.
Oh, what's this dog's name?
Well, we've been calling himBear.
You know what he looks like a?
(10:17):
He looks like a black bear.
Yeah, bear, absolutely love it.
Bear, welcome home.
I love you.
You are my life.
I will make you my life.
I will give you the best lifeever If you will come and accept
me as your dad man.
How could he say no to me?
Right, obviously and I are nolonger together, but you know
was not gonna be giving up thatdog, that's for sure.
(10:39):
So, yeah, it's just Bear and I,bear and I at home.
It's in the office, man In theoffice.
I got a drink bears here, yeah,yeah, he's sleeping by my feet,
where he always is.
Actually, he's got his littlebed over there.
Maybe we'll do an office pickat some point.
Put that on the socials, at thesocial degenerate, at the social
degenerate.
Please, guys, give me some helphere.
(11:00):
Would love it if you could gogive me some love, like I don't
know what they say.
Like, like, subscribe, what,all that bullshit.
Right, do all that stuff, butfor real.
Like, if you give me follow,tell your friends, family about
it, have them check it out.
You know, let's reach somepeople here.
I think we could do some helpor do some good stuff.
You know we'll see what happens.
But I, you know, whateverhappens happens, I'm just gonna
(11:23):
enjoy it along the way.
Hopefully I can help somepeople.
But you know, my plan is fromhere.
You know, we're definitelygonna get into some more
outreach, see how far we cantake this thing.
But you know, of course it allstarts with you guys.
I just I hope you guys enjoythis Now give me some feedback.
You know, if there's anyquestions along the way, guys,
let me know.
You know we can touch oncertain things, but you know why
(11:43):
don't we just dive right intoit?
February 3rd 1987, mesa, arizona, where I was raised, born at,
you know, good Samaritan, desertSam I think it was called
Desert Samaritan on a Dobson inSouthern, across from MCC Mesa
Community College.
There, mother Cindy, father isRobert, or we call him Bob.
(12:04):
We call him nothing at thispoint, we'll get into that later
.
But yeah, so February 3rd.
I think it was born sometime, Idon't know 6am-ish, whatever it
was, but all as well, you knowI had an older brother at that
point.
His name is Andrew, 17 monthsdifference between the two of us
(12:26):
.
So you know, as you can imagine, that led to some a lot of
fighting and arguing anddamaging some doors.
Some good stories, but a greatplaymate along the way.
But yeah.
So February 3rd man, great day,right, best day ever for my mom
.
Her favorite child was born atthat point and, yeah, everything
(12:52):
was good.
Dad was in real estate at thetime, I believe Mom was in, she
worked in the title insurance,she worked for, essentially, a
title agency, your entire careerfor the most part.
But you know, mom was bornmom's from Maryland Air Force
(13:13):
Brat.
You know my grandpa, art.
You know, rest in Peace man,bob Fisher.
Robert Fisher, possibly thebest man, greatest man that ever
walked this planet, you knowwas in the Air Force for 20 plus
years.
So you know, mom is a siblingof.
(13:33):
You know, had two othersiblings, essentially a older
brother and younger brother.
And yeah, so wait, hold on, isUncle Randy older than mom?
Shit, oh man, we're gonna haveto fix that later, I think.
But anyways, yeah, three kids,mom, two brothers, Uncle Randy,
(13:56):
uncle Rob, but yeah, they'refrom mom was born in Maryland,
essentially went grandpa cameout here to Luke Air Force Base
out in Litchfield or whateverthat is out there West Side, and
yeah.
So mom went to Peoria HighSchool.
Dad was from Akron, Ohio, bornin 1940, my dad's an old man.
(14:19):
Mom was born in 1959, okay, so,yeah, you do the math there 19
years difference, right?
So dad was late 40s when I wasborn, mom was late 20s, yeah.
And next thing, you know don'thave a lot of memories from you
(14:40):
know there's those few years,but you know we'll just get
right into the important stuff,right.
So they divorced.
Essentially, I think my dad wasstarting to out age my mom kind
of sorta.
Maybe I don't know, we'll haveto have mom on and you know,
(15:01):
maybe dig into some of thatstuff.
I have talked to mom about itbefore, you know.
So I do know a lot of thebackground there from her
perspective.
But yeah, they got divorced.
I believe I was around threeyears old at the time and then
both went on to remarry aroundthe age of six and really I
think this is kind of where weshould dive into.
(15:24):
Excuse me, guys, I'm over herefucking, I'm over here burping,
anyways, yeah, but that's kindof where the story begins, right
.
So, really, in order to kind offocus this into a narrative
that you know you all willunderstand, I think we really
need to separate the twohouseholds because really it was
(15:47):
it was two differently runhouseholds, completely very
different experience from onehousehold to the other.
One household was a verypleasant place.
The other, you know, kind ofsmoke and mirrors, pleasant,
very unpleasant at times youknow, was really a source of if
(16:10):
there was, you know, any sort ofquote, unquote, childhood drama
or childhood trauma, not dramayou know it would have
definitely come from that house,right.
So that's, I'm referring todad's house when I talk about
that.
So yeah, we really need toseparate out the two households,
(16:32):
and you know.
So I think we need to touch onmom's house and then kind of
focus on dad's house, and it'sreally two different universes,
right.
The only thing that was coolabout it when I was a kid was I
had lots of friends.
I had, you know, dad's houses.
Dad's house had friends, set offriends over there, and I had a
set of friends over at mom'shouse.
(16:54):
And I say it like that becauseit really was two different sets
of friends and we'll touch onthat because, you know, when I
was at dad's house.
There was no calling mom, therewas no visiting mom, there was
no talking to mom, there was notalking to mom's house friends,
because that could essentiallylink back to mom.
You couldn't go over to andvisit your friend, even though,
(17:19):
by the way, dad and mom wereliterally probably three miles
yeah, about three and a halfmiles apart maybe.
At the most.
Growing up dad was in Tempe, momwas in Chandler, but separated
by the 101.
I mean, that's literally it,right?
So if you know the area, youknow the 101 is the boundary
border for Tempe, chandler, mesa, all kind of border right next
(17:42):
to each other.
Grew up with mom over onElliott and Almo school
primarily, so that's Chandlerbut Mesa public school district.
And then dad was in Tempe onthe country club way, which is
basically between the 101 andMcClintock, between Guadalupe
(18:06):
and Baseline, that neighborhoodright Fuller elementary is that
neighborhood Actually funny,believe it or not the street I
grew up on there and that is thehouse that I was born into.
By the way, we should notatethat when mom and dad brought me
home from the hospital, that isthe house I went back to and
that is 2001, east Sesame Street, or 2009,.
(18:30):
2001 or 2009,.
Something along that.
East Sesame Street, sesameStreet yeah, I grew up on
fucking Sesame Street, wildright, and directly across the
street there's a park.
It starts with oh man, I shouldhave this stuff prepared, but
anyways, we'll edit that outlater.
But anyways, the yeah littlepark across the street.
(18:53):
Man, everything seemed reallynice on the outside looking in.
But, truthfully, a lot offucking weird shit happened in
that house later on and we'llkind of touch on that.
But mom and dad divorced threeyears old.
Mom was a single mother at thatpoint of two young boys, no
(19:13):
college education in her 20s.
Dad was the primary breadwinnerin the household, obviously at
that time doing real estate,whatever the fuck else he was
doing, but yeah, so mom had tokind of figure some shit out,
right, and it wasn't easy rightaway.
(19:35):
So she, we were in a town homeat one point can't really tell
you really remember where thatwas at, but I just remember
there was some stairs there andsome shit like that and yeah, we
were in this town home andthat's kind of when she started
to date, you know her then hernext husband, then it, you know
(19:56):
gentlemen named Brian, my, my,my, my stepdad then for
basically from the age of sixthrough the age of 15.
Yeah, not not the best guy, bythe way, I mean not.
Let's not give Brian too muchcredit here.
Great dad at the time, terriblehusband, terrible husband, but
we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll,we'll.
(20:17):
We'll touch on that later.
But yeah, they started dating,lived in a town home at the time
.
From there, you know, we jumpedover.
They got married in acourthouse.
I remember Brian had a you knowa mustache, kind of you know
big old glasses at the time.
You know this is the early 90s,so you know we had big, big old
(20:40):
glasses house full of big, bigglasses.
It was funny.
Anyways, yeah, got married in acourthouse and then we got,
they bought a house.
They moved over to a house overoff Marlboro Ellie and Elmo
school, again in the Sorinelementary neighborhood, if
you're familiar with the area.
Yeah, lived there for a fewyears and then eventually, in
(21:01):
fourth grade I believe it wasthey bought the house over on
Curry street and that's kind ofwhere we'll pick it up at.
But yeah, mom and Brian bothworked for title companies
growing up actually the sametitle company, let's just point
that out.
Brian was a technologyspecialist or he was the
(21:22):
essentially the VP of IT for forthe company.
Mom worked her way up startingfrom I mean incredible,
incredible story.
This woman has, by the way, she, you know she worked her way up
from, you know, receptionistanswering phones at this title
agency to, you know, becoming anescrow officer, to then, you
(21:47):
know, running the branch andbecoming a branch manager, to
then having, you know, a largestaff and then eventually
finishing your career with thatsame, with that same title
agency, you know, as a trainingspecialist.
So you know, as they rolled outnew technology and new, new
platforms, because everythingwas going web based at the time
(22:08):
and that was new, you knowversus, you know versus on-prem,
and that was just, it was all.
It was new for everybody, right.
So you know she ended hercareer, you know, as a, as a,
basically a training consultantfor the company, but you know
anyways, let's back up here.
So everything was great, youknow, at mom's house.
And why we started with mom'shouses because we're just going
(22:29):
to keep this super brief.
I love mom's house, had greatfriends growing up.
Tj Tyler was my neighbor there.
He now lives in Australia.
I had Justin good kid, got tolove him, I hate to say, you
know, let's just keep it genuine.
That's how I feel about himright now.
They did some shit after longstory long, but he was a great
(22:51):
friend of mine growing up.
I mean, my best friend growingup lived right around the corner
.
And then Mike Art Rustin peace,mike.
So, yeah, as you will notice aswe go through this story,
unfortunately, you know a lot ofmy high school friends, a lot
of kids that are, you know,people that I grew up with,
either are dead or fell victimto opiates and heroin, and
(23:12):
you'll, you'll see that that's a, that's a trend.
It started out, you know, withpills and other things and but
Mike, mike was one of the firstones to pass.
So Mike had a hard time growingup, you know, out of respect
for his family, when he's notgoing to go too much into it,
but drug issues, he was adopted.
His mother, would you know, wasa drug addict, was adopted by
his aunt and uncle and theyraised him and shortly after,
(23:33):
you know, high school, he passedoverdose, I believe it was.
But yeah, that was one of thefirst ones.
So, yeah, great, anyways, greatfriends.
Growing up enjoyed rollerbladed,played hockey, played a lot of
street hockey as a kid,rollerbladed literally
everywhere, rode my bike,whatever it was.
I was just out and about movingoutside.
Don't keep me in the house,don't want to be there.
(23:54):
Although, you know, had allsorts of video games and shit, I
just wanted to be outside.
Man Just was outside and wealways had a pool and shit and
was outside swimming and youknow everything was great.
Man, mom's house was phenomenal, had an egg.
I wouldn't say I was necessarily.
I mean I was spoiled, but I, Ialso worked.
(24:16):
I, you know parents, you knowmy mom definitely for sure
instilled a really good workethic in me.
You know, as a kid, you know, achore no, don't get I wasn't
always perfect, let's not put itthat way.
I definitely, you know, foughtit for sure, just like a lot of
other kids.
But, you know, had a chore listgrowing up.
You know, was expected to havethat chore list done by the time
(24:39):
mom got home.
You know where dinner wascooked and you know we got into
the nightline.
You know, nightline, yeah,nightline was definitely part of
the routine at the time.
But no, the nightly routine,yeah.
So, but flip side man, let'sjust go right into the fucking
dad's house, right?
Bob called well, robert calledwell, father 1940, born in April
(25:07):
1940.
Like I said, out in Akron Ohio.
Yeah, so parents got divorcedwhen I was three.
Dad kept the house, mom movedout.
Like I said, we were in a townhome at that point, but don't
(25:27):
really remember a lot at thistime when you know my parents
were not.
You know, really life starts forme when Brian, mary mom, and
Mary Mary dad.
Mary's my stepmom.
She's no longer with us.
She passed away a couple ofyears ago I believe.
But but yeah, so that's kind ofwhen, that's kind of when life
(25:52):
begins, right.
So six years old really is kindof the starting point of life.
And you know, dad's house waswhat seemed great, and I think
it seemed great because I wasspoiled, rotten over at that
house.
I'm telling you what, not evenon purpose, like not even really
having to ask for things,things were just given.
(26:13):
My dad and Mary spent a lot offucking money, right, they made
a lot of money in real estatebut spent every single dime of
it and you know, as a kid man Ididn't want for nothing.
I'll tell you that right now.
Always had the newest andlatest video games, you know,
new rollerblades when I neededthem, every couple of years, new
(26:35):
hockey stick when I needed it.
I, you know, was alwaysenrolled in, you know, different
sports, but I and I say thisbecause I really do feel like my
dad used money in objects, inmaterials, and as a way to to,
to kind of buy a love, becausehe wasn't there physically or
(26:56):
emotionally right, but I hadthese things, so maybe these
things would, would do the trick, right, and?
And, and they definitely did, Imean as a kid who wouldn't want
it, right, I didn't say no tothat, you know.
And in fact there were thingsthat I would get and I'd be like
, no, that's not the right one,right, that I mean to that
degree, right.
So, and then how do you turnthat shit off?
(27:16):
Like, right, you're developingthose types of habits at dad's
house.
But then you get to mom's houseand you know mom doesn't have
that type of budget for one.
Nor should you know, should itbe expected that she would know
the bratty behaviors of sayingno and not, and always expecting
, like you know, the when I getthings for it to be like the
(27:36):
best one, right?
No, mom, that's not whathappened at mom's house.
Mom did, mom did a great job.
Mom got us some.
You know, if we needed it, wehad it, let's just put it that
way.
But we didn't have not a wholelot more than that unless it was
earned, right, and so be it,that's.
But that's just how mom raisesand and thank God right.
Thank fucking God right,because I think the other way is
(27:57):
very unhealthy.
Right, looking back, but yeah,that's kind of how it, how it
was.
There was no one or need foranything, you know.
But when my dad married,married Mary, you know she came
with a bonus or a plus one,whatever you want to fucking
call it.
The fucking man, you'll learnthis.
Walter, walter, that is thestep brother.
(28:18):
That is a, an evil, sick,fucking person, right.
And you know we're going to getinto some stories here and
they're going to be, you know,the family.
I don't know what they think onme sharing some of this stuff,
but you know it's, I think it's,it's the truth, it's what
happened, right.
So, you know, I think we needto be honest about it and and
(28:42):
we'll just, we'll leave it atthat.
There's a lot of people outthere, a lot of families out
there, that you know reallysmoke and mirror their fucking
problems right Like a whitepicket fence from the outside,
right.
But you know you, you openthose doors up and there's all
sorts of weird shit, crazy shitgoing on inside and that's what
was going on at dad's house.
Let's just say that.
Let's, that's exactly what wasgoing on at dad's house, right,
(29:03):
beautiful house probably was thenicest house in the
neighborhood From the looks ofher from the outside, I mean
just it.
They were always doing stuff tothe house.
Like you know, I'd show up oneweekend and There'd be a fucking
major hole in the wall wherethey're putting wood postings in
to for some decorative, towhatever bullshit, and Two weeks
(29:26):
later I come back and out ofwalls filled, back in again same
wall Like this.
I mean, it's like they weredoing shit like that, like just
weird shit, like cutting holesin the walls and then filling
the whole the wall, that as likehome improvement projects, like
trying to like make it, andthen they found out later on
that there was like somestructural or Support stuff that
(29:48):
couldn't be taken out, so itjust didn't look right.
Anyways, just blowing money,right, blowing money on just
random shit, always.
You know, yeah, they were.
I mean, they brought it in.
I mean they?
Well, they brought it inbecause they were fucking
working.
They worked, dad worked all thetime, every day, seven days a
week.
Well, that's what.
That's what was my perceptionas a kid Come to find out later
(30:12):
on.
And they were not alwaysworking, they were gambling, but
at the same time.
But you know, you didn't didn'tknow that as a kid, just
actually found that out a fewmonths ago.
Thank you, dad, for giving methat little nugget to chew on.
Yeah, dude, fuck, I meanasshole, what an asshole, right.
But anyways, let's go back toWalter.
(30:33):
Walter, I believe.
For the life of me I can'tremember.
I don't know his exact ageright now, so I can't give you.
I want to.
I want to say he's got likeeight years on me.
I believe it's eight yearsbecause, well, let's put it this
way, I was six.
Yeah, eight years.
Yeah, yeah, it's gotta be eightyears.
Because I was six when dad andMary got married and he was 16.
(30:56):
But hey, this dude was 16 andlook like he was 40.
I'm not fucking kidding, likehe's it.
First off, he's Italian, he'sHarry, as fuck, grown man beard
at the age of like 14, like fullgrown like the thickest.
I mean maybe I got some, Idon't know.
I don't want to put pictures upof people, but yeah, I mean, if
(31:17):
you could imagine, uh, heplayed hockey.
He was really good at hockeyand he was a big defenseman.
He probably 220 as a 16 yearold I mean the thighs, the
fucking size of your head big,strong dude at 16.
That looked like he was afucking 38 year old, grown,
(31:37):
fucking man that had beenthrough two wars.
I mean, literally, that's likehow I would describe the way he
looked, not that he was haggard,but you know, because I think
he always presented himselfnicely, but he was.
He looked way, way older thanyou know.
That then his age to me, atleast at the time.
(31:57):
Right, my, that was myperception.
But Walter Walter's real.
What Walter's dad died when hewas 14?
Of a heart attack.
I believe it was out in NewYork.
So Walter and Mary are from NewYork, new York City, queens, I
believe it was, or Long Islandor something or maybe all of the
above, but yeah, they're fromthe.
(32:19):
They were from the city andafter big.
So Walter Walter's a junior.
His dad's, his dad's name wasWalter as well.
He's a senior, that was his dad, senior Walter, senior Passway
was 14.
They moved out here and my dadand Mary met I've some somehow
through you know dad doing realestate or whatever it was and
they started dating and next,you know they're getting, you
(32:40):
know they're getting married.
So but Walter at the time wasplaying hockey Competitive
hockey, I don't know, maybe thenowadays I think they call it
triple a hockey or somethinglike that.
But you know that he went out toBismarck, north Dakota as a 16
year old.
You know, basically he had dadbought him a truck and it was a
grave or tan forward f-150.
(33:03):
I believe it was.
And yeah, he went out toBismarck or Bismarck, north
Dakota to go play a play, playtrip or play, play junior hockey
.
And you know Snakes, you knowit's you use out there for a
couple years or whatever it was.
So you know, walter wasn'treally around there at the
beginning, only around mainlyholidays and stuff like that
when you'd come back.
(33:23):
But I loved Walter as a kid Ithought I looked up, I idolized
the guy.
All right, he did what I wantedto do on to play hockey,
fucking.
He did some cool shit right,like, yeah, he played for,
played for the Roadrunners atsome.
At one point and I rememberwatching him play and man, he
lit this guy up.
And then he's next, you knowhe's, he's ripping the gloves
off and taking this guy to theground and punching him in the
face.
I mean, just beat the shit outof this guy, right.
(33:45):
Next thing, you know he'swalking out with his bag at half
.
You know before, before youknow the second periods up and
you know we're leaving.
You know.
So it was shit like that and Iwas like, oh man, that's cool.
So that that's kind.
You know, that's kind of how Ilook, how I looked at him, right
, like he was.
He was the big dude, bigbrother, and kind of scared of
him, but at the same time Iwanted to one of them to like me
(34:05):
and I wanted to do what he did,right.
So, you know, walter ended upeventually.
Now I'm gonna put it from what'sbeen told.
Now, what do I think happened?
I think there's some weird shitthat definitely happened up in
North Dakota that cost him tocome back home, right, because
he threw everything away, leftall of his hockey equipment
(34:26):
there, just up and came after hegraduated from high school,
come, came home.
I think he made a stopsomewhere, was living out of his
truck, was drinking heavily atthe time, major alcoholic at
this point, at this point intime in his life, drinking At
least an eight, I mean comingdamn near an 18 pack, probably
at this point a day, you know.
(34:49):
And next thing, you know Waltwas coming home and moving back
in and Got this.
You know, really cool older youknow step brother and you know
Andrew's there, obviously, andyou know thinking that this is
gonna be cool.
You know, get to play somehockey and got two brothers to
play hockey with.
It doesn't get much cooler thanthat, right?
This is kind of when shitstarts to get weird.
(35:11):
Okay, and I'm gonna preface thislike guys, this is the clearly
a mature audience show, okay.
So this is honesty andtransparency at its finest right
.
So we're gonna get into someshit.
We're gonna get into some shit.
It's fucking weird Looking back.
I didn't know it was weird atthe time, clearly, but you know,
looking back on it now isfucking weird, really weird.
(35:35):
It's just fucking weird.
There's no other way to put it.
So you know I'm I keep sayingthat you guys are probably
sitting there like Brandon.
What was what's fucking weird.
Tell us what the fuck happenedright now.
But no, seriously, guys, likethis is gonna be, it's gonna be
some weird shit.
So, you know, we're justfucking kind of get into it,
right.
So Walter comes back home andGot this big step brother that
(35:59):
that I idolize and look up toand he, you know, develops a
really strong bond with withAndrew and you know, and I
wanted in on that inner circleand sometimes it was difficult,
but you know, there's a lot ofdifferent events and and you
know things that happen withWalter along the way.
That you know, maybe we'll diveinto some specifics because
(36:22):
Ultimately, he's fucking evil,he's an evil guy, he's an evil
person, he still walks thisearth and he's fucking
disgusting.
But but yeah, so Walter's athome and I got this older
brother and I Don't even knowhow to say I don't even.
How do I see, how do I?
How do you even get into thisstuff, dude?
Like how am I?
I'm just sitting here in a roomtalking to myself, really right
(36:43):
, but like it's like no one'slistening, I mean, but damn, I
feel like the fucking wholeworld's listening, right, but
it's like Jesus Christ, it'sjust fucking weird, dude, so
early on, you Know, as a bigbrother would, I guess, maybe,
but I think it was just tooearly for I was just too early.
It's just some weird shit.
But right, like you know,fucking Walter had porn and
(37:06):
stuff in in his room.
Walter was always in his roomand, like, always kept his door
closed.
It was always like Do not go inWalter's room, do not go in
there.
Right, do not go, do not openhis door unless you ask him to
open his.
Make sure you knock if thatdoor is closed before you.
Just all that shit, right, cuzI mean, he's an older Teenager
(37:26):
and here he is living with afucking, you know, I'm probably
eight or nine at this point,right, let's just get into that.
Like that's, this is probablythe age right and at this point
in time, and, and you know he's,I'm sure, not enjoying it, but
hey, teach their own right, youshouldn't come back home.
You knew you're getting into.
But you know he's drinkingheavily at this point, right,
let's point those, I'm gonnacontinue to point that out.
(37:48):
And Cognito, he used to keep hisbeer.
I don't know if there was acooler in his room or whatever
it was, but he used to keep hisbeer in his room and so he'd go
back to his room and he'd alwayshave this red solo cup and he
would just pour his drinks andis whatever in this red solo cup
.
So he's would sit in this chair.
That was, like you know, 15, 20feet away from the couch, and
(38:13):
you know, by himself, andeverybody would be on the couch.
So you know, I don't, you know,I'm sure he just sat there and
got drunk looking back on it.
That's kind of the environment,right?
So, yeah, walter, come to findout.
There was one day I, I opened uphis door, I was like you know
what, what, what the fuck's,what is he hiding in here?
And you know, go to flip on hiscomputer, right he's.
He had a computer.
That this is in the 90s, guys,right, like computers were not
(38:36):
around a Whole lot back then,right.
But when we had a and he had acomputer in his room and my dad
had a computer out in the livingroom office area, whatever it
was dial up, internet, whateverit was, you know that sort of
thing, right?
You go, fucking plug in thephone line and you know, you
pick up the phone and dad yellsa.
I put the phone down.
(38:57):
Hey, put the phone down, it'soff.
What the fuck?
Right, like that's what wasgoing on, right?
So, anyways, I flipped thecomputer on and boom, right
there on the home screen, bigold titties, and I'm like holy
shit.
And I'm like nine, ten yearsold, right, and I'm like, oh man
, those are cool, right, likeyou know.
And and yeah, so good.
(39:19):
And then I it was like, well,what's over here in this drawer,
right?
So I open this drawer up right,and there's a.
He had a pistol.
He had a big old pistol, ifrevolver, right, he had a big
old revolver and underneath therevolver was these, or I think
the revolver was in the, thecloset or something.
But and the drawer was allthese porno magazines.
And I always wondered, likeWalter is always the one check
(39:43):
my, I got the mail, like I'llcheck the mail, right, you know,
walter's always one checking iskids, he's getting this fucking
litter fucking porno magazinesent to the house, right, like
this wasn't when porno was on,was easily accessible on the
internet.
Like you know, dudes fuckinghad magazines sent to their
goddamn house.
Or you picked him up at the,the circle K on the corner right
and and Walter had a lot ofthem had a lot.
(40:05):
And as a ten-year-old, I'm likeyou know what the fuck is this,
right, and you know.
So let's just we're pointingthis out, because what comes
next is is an evolution of this.
You know, walter thought I'd becool to fucking watch porn with
his little brothers as Close toporn as you could get at those
date.
Like those times, right, like,for example, private parts, was
(40:26):
one of our favorites to watch,right, if anybody ever watched
the Howard Stern private partsBack in, you know, in the 90s,
man, it was like titties every,every other scene, right, and as
a ten-year-old boy, this waslike this had a profound effect
on me.
Yeah, saying these like, yeah,just anyway, so like, and we do
(40:48):
when we watch it a lot, you knowdad and Mary would be, you know
, at work, so we watch thatmovie several times.
And we watch other stuff, likeyou know, other rated Rx, like X
rated type movies that had, youknow, a lot of nudity and stuff
like that, and we did that alot During the day, even you
know they'd be at work and I'mten-year-old boy and you know.
(41:11):
So we're gonna get right into aspecific story.
So one of the times we'rewatching private parts on the
couch right.
And this is.
This is a fucking traumaticevent.
This is a young little boy.
I'm like ten years old, right,and I'm sitting there, you know,
as you do as a kid, I'm sittingthere and look, my little boxer
shorts, right, little, I thinkthey're a little red plaid boxer
(41:32):
shorts, right, but like littleboys, boxer shorts had the
little slit in the front rightand the hole.
There's no button or whatever.
Anyways, I'm ten years old,right, sitting on the couch
watching private parts withAndrew and Walter, and Try not
to make it's like now, it's likenot even at the weird point
anymore, it's just like it'ssomething that we just did right
and like it's just fucking.
(41:53):
Anyways, ten-year-old boy, popa boner, or maybe like a little
tiny one or something, whateverit was right.
I go to stand up and my little,my little penis is hanging out a
little thing.
Little guy, little pepe, he washanging there right out of my
boxers and you know, and Ifyou've, walter turns to me and
(42:15):
he starts laughing and he's justlaughing and laughing, laughing
, and I'm like what are youlaughing at?
What are you laughing at?
What are you laughing at?
And he's like laughing at meand he's just laughing and and I
, fucking, I look down, I'm like, oh no, like, right, like I can
see my little way hanging there, right, so I go to tuck it away
and I run and I run and I runback into my room, right,
(42:38):
because I'm embarrassed at thispoint.
I'm like, and he's just laughingat me and he starts calling it
a like some sort of nickname,right, like, making fun of me,
like, right, I'm a ten-year-oldboy, like like, obviously, my,
my, my penis is a it's quitetiny at this point, right, and
and so so, yeah, he makes anickname for my little wiener
(43:02):
and he goes around and tells allthe neighborhood boys as they
come around to the house, likewhat happened and how small my
penis is, and that he's neverseen anything so small and that
it was Some nickname or whatever.
And so now all my friendsaround the neighborhood are
calling me this nickname that Ididn't like, and my brother's
making it worse and yeah, and Ijust fucking hated him for it.
(43:24):
I hated him for it.
And and I say like, yeah, itwas weird.
Like, who, like what older,fucking like 1819, whatever,
what?
18 year old it's gonna sitthere and watch fucking nudie
movies with his little brothersat home all day, right, like,
fucking, go do something, dude,like you fucking weirdo.
And Anyways, yeah, long storylong, fucking, he Starts making
(43:53):
fun of me.
And now all my neighborhoodfriends are making fun of me and
you know, my brother knowsabout this.
And I tell my brother, youbetter not tell my friends over
at mom's house or I'll kill you.
Because, like, obviously, likegoing back to mom's house, like
you can separate the twohouseholds, right, what goes on
at dad's house doesn't need togo on a mom's house.
No, no, of course not.
You know, brother fuckingbrought that name over.
(44:14):
I don't think it.
I don't think he told any of myfriends about it, but you know,
he definitely kind of poked atme a little bit about not, but
it kind of went he With him andwhen it was just him and I at
mom's house, like it went away,right.
But when we get back to dad'shouse, like they pick it right
back up again and it would justfucking.
And so you know, and I say this,like how it affected me later
(44:37):
on, like you know, you startgetting into you know I was an
athlete growing up and you startgetting into locker rooms and
you don't want to show it.
You like you're looking ateverybody and you're thinking,
like you know, you don't want tobe the kid that you know kids
are mean, dude.
I mean kids are mean, kids arefucking mean.
You don't want to.
The fucking kids, the dudesgoing around on the team, going
around to the girls in theschool and say, hey, fucking
(44:59):
call, well has got a, you know,a small fucking dick, right?
So I left my shorts on all thetime.
I didn't want to get naked inthe locker room, I didn't want
to.
And so you know, and yeah, Imean, like, obviously, guys,
today, like it's fine, I meanthat was something that happened
and you know we're gonna kindof move on from there.
And but I say that because itgets weirder.
(45:20):
It gets, it gets weirder Atthis time period, guys, my dad
starts and marry primarily.
I should point this out, let'spoint this out, let's point out
the dynamic between the twohouseholds at this point.
So how the custody worked ismom had me half the year during
the school year.
(45:41):
Dad had me during the summers,okay, and or had Andrew and I.
And you know, basically duringthe summers I'd spend two weeks
with my dad and then I'd go backto mom's house for a weekend
and then I'd go back for twoweeks, right, and that's kind of
how we spent the summers.
And then during the school yearit was the opposite, you know,
with mom for two weeks and thenI'd go see dad on the weekends
(46:03):
and then holidays was arotational schedule, all sorts
of weird shit, right.
But the handoffs here's wherehere, here's where it gets funny
, right, like my, my mom and mydad, after they got divorced,
had a cordial relationship.
There was no problems, like.
They had no problemscommunicating.
You know, it seemed like the,the divorce was amicable, you
(46:24):
know, no major, no majorbreakdowns at that point, right.
But you know, introduced Maryand the dynamic gets fucked.
Mary was very manipulative,jealous person and, for whatever
reason, hated my mom, and sohow they communicated, or
started to communicate, was vialetter.
So whenever we'd be dropped offat, you know, mom's house, I'd
(46:45):
be bad.
A little letter in my hand oh,here, mom is from Mary, right,
and it'd be like a, you know,weird fucking communicative shit
or whatever things that she'ddo or whatever things that she'd
want to say, and sometimes it'dbe, you know, child support
checks and stuff like that andthat's kind of how you know the
communication went back andforth, never by phone, it was
always via letter and we werethe, we were the the mules for
(47:08):
that letter, right, and mybrother and I, and that's kind
of how that, how that worked andand, like I said before, you
know when, when you're at dad'shouse, there's no communicating
with mom.
That was not allowed.
Okay, there was a lot of thingslike the phone cord at home was
taken.
At times it was unplugged outof the wall.
At times, you know, when dadand Mary were not around, the
(47:28):
phone cord was definitely out ofthe wall because they did not
want.
You would think you'd want tohave your kid having access to a
phone, but nope, that's not thecase, said they would unplug
that shit and they would say, oh, we don't want the phone
ringing, right?
Who unplugged their fuckinghome phone, right?
No, was on purpose.
So that way, that way Cindywasn't calling and that way the
kids couldn't call Cindy or they.
(47:48):
You know, that's sort of shit.
I fucking know the story.
You don't fucking lie to me andit just all just weird shit.
Man, that whole fucking placewas fucked up, right, but at the
same time.
We'll get into this a little bit.
You know dad's kind of coercingAndrew and I To.
You know, move in with himfull-time.
Right, things are great guys,right, don't you love all this
(48:11):
stuff that we've gotten you likeyou get to play hockey here
with your friends and have allthis freedom.
And you know you got them alldown the road and all this.
You know sun splash, passes andall this other stuff, right,
like life so great over.
Oh, yeah, dad, life's great.
Like, oh, yeah, I'd love tocome stay with you, dad for sure
.
Like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, all right, we'll
back in court.
We go Next thing.
(48:34):
You know Andrew and I are havingto go see some doctor.
We're, I don't know what thisdoctor is, but she's a doctor
and and we get pulled into thisdoctor come to find out it's a
counselor later on.
But yeah, oh, back then whenyou're going through custody
battles like this, they wantedthe kids or the children to seek
or see a professional counselorassigned by the court to kind
(48:57):
of Look into things from thechild's perspective, right, so
we go in there and it's comical,you know, I'm telling the
everything is great and all thisstuff.
And then she's like yeah, nowwe're gonna bring your father
and I'd like to just ask himsome questions, you know, and
I'd like you guys to stay inhere while I do so, but you know
, really, these are questionsfor your dad, so I don't want
(49:18):
you answering for him.
Okay, sure, lady, of course, noproblem at all, right?
So dad comes in the room and,hey, so, father, why don't you
go ahead and name, you know, whydon't you name five of your son
Brandon's friends?
Sure, no problem.
Well, there's Sam and there'sTimmy and there's Jeremy and
(49:43):
there's Sam and Timmy.
And I'm listening to threeneighbors off at my dad's house.
Right, it's it, it's all heknows.
Doesn't know any my schoolfriends, doesn't know any of my
friends at my mom's house.
Doesn't know any of that shit.
Right, can't name.
Right, and she starts goinginto some other stuff.
(50:04):
Right, and that was just one ofthe questions that I remember
vividly.
I'm like, dad, how do you notknow my friends?
Like I talked to you about allmy friends all the time.
Like you know, you know youhave Walter.
Take me to Justin's house, Like, or go pick up Justin to go to
Sun Splash.
Like you know this stuff.
Like what are you talking about?
Right?
(50:25):
And just kind of a shockingsituation, right, we'll come to
find out.
So dad was trying to get custodyright, came, came back to bite
him in the ass nothing changed.
But I'm pointing this outbecause what if?
What if?
Oh, thank God for that thatcounselor, doctor, because she,
(50:45):
I think, honestly that personreally kind of halted it because
Come to find out later on.
You know, that lady, you know,basically said there's no way in
hell I'd ever get fucking fullcustody of that guy.
So I don't know what dad did,right, but he clearly did not
have the right answers.
He failed that test.
But I don't know.
(51:07):
I mean he probably spent abunch of money right trying to
fucking fight that battle and Idon't know what that shit costs
nowadays, but I'm sure it's notcheap.
I mean none of that shit'scheap, right.
But so you know he lost.
He lost, thank God, thank God.
But in the mix of this let'sget back to the weird shit.
(51:30):
Andrew was always Walter'sfavorite.
Okay, let's just point thatthat that out.
I think it was because Andrew'san old soul Really is, always,
has been, you know, alwaysacting mature for his age,
Always got along with olderpeople, more more so than he did
, you know, kids his own age,you know Andrew liked the adult
(51:52):
table let's just put it that wayversus the kid table.
That's just him.
You know, that's just mybrother, and Love him to death.
Love my brother to death.
Didn't love me, it doesn't lovehim so much when I was a kid,
but no, I love my brother and,but I say that because you know
he's Walter, he was Walter'sfavorite, right.
So there was one summer thatWalter and Andrew, you know,
(52:22):
went back to New York and spentthe whole summer there no, I'm
sorry, not the whole summer,about two weeks, kind of
visiting some family that youknow, marion, you know had in
the area that obviously we'restill Walter's family as well,
part, you know, part, partly myfamily, but didn't really,
didn't really consider them,like you know, direct family
(52:43):
members, right.
But anyways, long story long,they went back there for two
weeks and, you know, enjoyedthemselves, walked around the
city, you know, saw the sights,did all the tourist stuff, and
you know I'm back at home, youknow, back at dad's house, kind
of sitting there, you know, alittle jealous, right, like you
know, feeling like I wasn't, youknow, good enough to be
(53:04):
included or or didn't, you know,provide enough value to go
Right, like for whatever reason.
So, you know, they get backfrom New York and you know how
was the trip and everything wentgreat and everything was all
you know hunky dory and stufflike that.
Well, well, this was a reallybig moment because we were, you
(53:25):
know, essentially teenagers atthis point.
You know, andrew in this, whenthis, when they took that trip,
was, you know, I Know that, Iknow that I really think about
it probably more like 13, right?
So you know, young teenage boyI'm, I'm probably 11 or 12, but
you know, andrew gets back.
Andrew and Walter get back fromNew York and you know we're,
(53:48):
we're about really a year or twoaway from, or just a couple
years away from, you know,andrew, being able to start
driving.
So, and I and I say that thatbecause that's an important
moment in time, right, because,with this custody thing that we
have going on, you know, andrew,having a car would give us the
freedom, hopefully, of beingable to go back and forth, you
(54:12):
know, more freely, like when wechose to versus, you know, when
the court decided it was timefor us to go over to, you know,
to rotate houses.
So you know, dad bought Andrewa brand new car when he was when
he first 16th birthday and andShortly after this it was
(54:35):
discovered that an incident hadtaken place Back when we were
teenage boys and we're justgonna like, essentially leave it
at at that.
So an incident took place.
It was a major incident thattook place and it was big enough
to cause a multi divide in thisin this family, and you know
(55:02):
this news had come out and thiswas big news for the family.
And when the news had come out,it was shared with you know,
with dad and Mary, and you know,of course, everybody kind of,
you know, knew what happened,what happened at this at this
point in time, but there was noaction taken, right.
So there was action taken on mymom's side of things, you know,
(55:24):
protect, to protect us boys.
But as far as my dad goes, youknow this incident had to had
had to do with something withWalter and you know, as we know,
you know Walter is still livingat home at this point.
You know, never moved out,never decided to move out, was
not working, was not aproductive member of of society
(55:47):
by any any stretch of theimagination.
And you know, dad basicallysaid you know, what am I
supposed to do?
Kind of threw his hands up inthe air.
Well, you know, as yourbiological children, you would
think that you would want to dosomething to protect us, but
(56:07):
that's not what he did.
That's not what he did.
He chose to ignore thesituation and the incident that
occurred.
So at this point in time, therewas some things that took place
with the courts that you knowprohibited us from going over to
our father's house in order tomake sure that, you know, we
didn't have any contact withWalter at all, and it was at
(56:32):
this time that, because Andrewwas driving, you know, we
obviously were not going tovoluntarily just go over to
dad's house, but you know, wewere told that, you know, on
certain occasions Walterwouldn't be there and that we
should come over, so reluctantlybecause of course, we're still
teenage boys and technically wekind of still have to right,
(56:56):
because there's this court orderin place.
You know, we would go and seedad and Mary on, you know,
holidays and special occasionsand you know, Mary kind of
always had this like attitudetowards us.
Like, you know, you guys didthis like how dare you Like you
(57:16):
guys?
You know you guys are liars andthat sort of thing, and that
just wasn't the case, right?
But you know, so we'd, you knowwe'd go over there and things
would you know be totally fakeand superficial.
You know a meal would be hadand essentially, you know that's
(57:36):
about as far as it went.
But it was really at this timethat the dynamic of the family
really shifted, right, becausewe were seeing our dad less
often, we weren't forced to goover there, and it was an
opportunity for us to spend moretime at mom's house and really
get a chance to live out theremaining portion of our
childhood, right?
Well, I think that this is agood point in time to really
(58:03):
stop on dad's house and shiftfocus over to mom's house.
So, with that being said, guys,I think that this is going to
conclude episode one.
Thank you again, everybody fortuning in.
Man, we're just getting startedand I just cannot thank you
guys enough and express theamount of gratitude that I have
(58:25):
for the time that you guys justspent listening to the freaking
drama that is.
That was, you know, my lifejust there for a little while.
So, but, guys, again,successful degenerate podcast,
visit us on Instagram or any ofthe socials.
There the handle will be thesuccessful or at the successful
(58:48):
degenerate.
And again, you know, help us out, please get the message out
there.
You know, share with yourfamily and friends, see if we
can get you know some peopleinterested in this thing.
Let's take this thing off.
I think it's.
You know it's going to be ajourney and it's going to be one
that is not obviously going tocome without its hardships along
(59:10):
the way, and you know, havingbattle lows in the past, that's
for sure, right.
So you know we're just going totake those head on as they come
and it's going to be, it's justgoing to be great guys, and I
just I'm so grateful that youguys are, are going to be with
me along the way and to that,see you later degenerates.
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