December 11, 2024 • 58 mins
Financial wisdom meets timeless biblical principles with special guest Lilias John. From an unexpected inheritance to stark financial mismanagement in her college years, to teaching financial literacy in Harlem, this episode will take you on a journey of growth and transformation. Her story is a powerful testament to the transformative potential of financial education rooted in biblical principles. Join Jess and Brandon as they explore the profound relationship between faith and finances. This is an episode you don’t want to miss.
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Notes from the show:
Connect with Lilias-
https://instagram.com/yourfinancialstylist
https://facebook.com/yourfinancialstylist
https://youtube.com/yourfinancialstylist
https://tiktok.com/yourfinancialstylist
http://yourfinancialstylist.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you don't feel connected to the tithe, you
don't have to do it.
But for those who do feelconnected to it, to tell them to
stop to pay off debt eventhough the numbers financially
work, it would be a violation oftheir conscience.
And now I'm causing them to sin, and so I can't put someone in
a position to violate theirconscience and sin against their
(00:22):
God when they've made acommitment, even if that
commitment looks like on paperthat financially it's hurting
them.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hey babe, what are we talking about today?
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Today we have a super amazing guest in our stew.
We have Lilius John.
She is one of the fierce womenthat I met at the Women in Money
event.
Remember when I poppedliterally in and out of New York
City and Lilius and I had wemet.
(01:05):
We sat next to each other atdinner and our conversation just
blew me away.
And I was like you have to beon our podcast, so guess what?
She is here with us today,lilius, we are so excited to
have you.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Thank you for being on the Sugar Daddy podcast.
Thank you, this is so excitingand I loved meeting you, jessica
.
We had such a good conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
It was instant connection.
And I I was like and we're soulsisters and she also lives in
North Carolina so we'repractically neighbors.
Yeah, it was just meant to beit was just meant to be it was
Speaker 2 (01:34):
for sure in case anybody doesn't know, one of
just the superpowers is that sheconnects with everybody she's a
people person.
Person.
I'm semi opposite.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
You're like a troll that wants to stay at home and
not be bothered.
I'm like, oh, I talked to ourneighbor so and so and he's like
who?
And I'm like we've lived herefor six years, how do you not
know who our neighbors are?
But anyways, it is mysuperpower and that has led us
to Lilius.
So I'm really excited.
Now, this conversation I'm justgoing to say up front it can go
in so many directions becauseLilius, really she's just a
(02:09):
force.
But I essentially told her weneed to recreate our
conversation from dinner becausethere was so much.
I mean, my jaw was just on thefloor and I was like tell me
more, I need to know more.
So we're going to do a littlebit of everything, but let's get
into this bio so that peopleknow who you are and all the
different directions we couldpotentially take in this
(02:30):
conversation today.
Yeah, sounds good, yay, okay.
Lillias John, also known as yourfinancial stylist, is a finance
coach, real estate consultantand mom of six.
So y'all already know she's asuperhero.
She teaches biblical financialprinciples which clients use to
transform their finances, breakfree from debt and start to
(02:53):
manage money God's way.
With over 20 years experiencein real estate, she is also
known for teaching homeownershow to build equity in their
home without being a landlord,airbnb host or house flipper.
She has writing credits inHuffington Post, black
Enterprise, debtcom, creditcom,and is a respected voice in the
(03:13):
personal finance industry.
Okay, so see what I mean.
Like we could go real estate,we can go biblical finance, we
can do all the things.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
How do you manage to have six kids and still do all
the things?
How?
Speaker 3 (03:24):
do you manage to have six kids and and still do all
the things?
Yeah, yeah.
Are you sane?
Lilias are you.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
That's a.
I think so, by the grace of godyes, six kids.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Well, we always start off our conversations with our
guests with your first moneymemory and I know that's going
to kind of lead us into the restof our discussion, but but if
you would share that with us,we'd love to hear it.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It's funny because I don't think we talked about that
at dinner.
But my first money memory iswith my grandmother and her
having like envelopes tucked allover the house with money, like
under the dresser, under themattress, in different drawers.
She had envelopes of moneystashed away all different
(04:07):
places in the house as hersavings account.
No this was just likeadditional.
She had a savings account too.
She had a savings account forherself, she had a savings
account for me, and then she had, like all these other little
stashes.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
So what was?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
the purpose of having ?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
What was the purpose of I?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
think maybe certain ones for like were like for
bills like that maybe weren'tdue yet, but she was receiving
Social Security and so she gotone check a month and was just I
don't know why they were tuckedunder dressers and I don't know
.
That part I can't answer, butyeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Did part I can't answer, but yeah, I don't know,
Did you ever bring her anenvelope and be like grandma?
What's this?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
No, oh, no, no, I like my life I had to like Just
find a random envelope somewhere.
See and don't see, I would haveto just put it back and like I
remember, like, looking for,like my shoe one day and going
under the dresser and findingthis envelope of money and just,
and my shoe and your shoe,putting it back and taking my
(05:11):
shoe and going about my day.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
That is so funny.
If I did that, I would.
I would just be losing money.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You sure would, all over the house.
I would never find it again.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Never, I know I'm so organized that I I over organize
myself sometimes so organizedthat you over organize.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So organized you can't find things don't make
that face.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
That's rude.
It's rude.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Well, there's probably something really
beneficial to glean from that.
I'm telling you, yeah so isyour.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
is your grandmother still with us?
Okay, when she did pass, didyou guys have to, like, scour
through the house to account forall the envelopes?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yes, yes, in fact I was the one who was able to tell
them.
There are envelopes, here's one, here's another one, you know,
and it was kind of like I don'tthink my family had no idea.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I definitely have heard stories from other people
that I know that when theirgrandparents passed away, that
they're going through the houseand organizing everything and
finding money in pots and pans,finding money in old shoeboxes
and stuff like that Oatmealcontainers Seems like maybe a
common thing with thatgeneration.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, I think so, I think so they wanted to spread
their money out.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yeah Well, lilius, at dinner we talked about so many
things, but I want to start offour conversation about how you,
how you started your moneyjourney right, because even on
your social media, you're veryopen about the things that have
happened in your life, the moneymistakes that you've made.
(06:48):
You know you're not out herebeing like I'm a millionaire
who's done everything perfectly.
You're like no, there have beenhurdles and blocks and
learnings along the way.
And one of one of the thingsthat you mentioned early on in
our conversation was youradoption story, and then, what
happened with your biologicalfather, so I would love for you
(07:10):
to share that with our audienceand kind of how that catapulted
your your finance journey.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, so okay.
So my grandmother passed awayin 92 and 93.
So I was 12 at the time and shehad been my primary guardian
for my entire life.
My biological father actuallypassed away the year I was born.
My mother was still living atthat time and I had to.
(07:38):
You know, my family had tofigure out where I was going to
live after that, and so mygrandmother had three sons and
so one of my uncles I guess theyhad a powwow and one of my
uncles.
They decided that I was goingto go live with him.
Him and his wife were emptynesters already at the time.
My other two uncles they stillwere raising children and so I
(08:00):
ended up living there and Ilived there until I graduated
from high school and I knew mygrandmother left me an
inheritance and then mygrandfather he also died in 93.
And he also left me aninheritance.
Now context my grandmother diedin a car accident that I was in
(08:22):
with her.
Grandmother died in a caraccident that I was in with her.
So there was also a settlementexcuse me, that came from that
accident that I also receivedwhen I graduated from high
school.
So I think, all in totalbetween my grandfather, my
grandmother and the settlement Ireceived about $67,000.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Have you been listening to our podcast and
wondering how am I really doingwith my money?
Am I doing the right thingswith my investments?
Am I on track to reach myfinancial goals?
What could I be doing better?
If you answered yes to any ofthese questions, then it's time
for you to reach out to Brandonto schedule your free yes, I
said free 30-minute introductionconversation to see how his
(09:08):
services could help make you themore confident moneymaker we
know you could be.
What are you waiting for?
It's literally free and at thevery least, you'll walk away
feeling more empowered andconfident about your financial
future.
Link is in our show notes.
Go schedule your call today.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
It.
Actually I didn't get it Likeit wasn't like you turn 18 and
you got a check.
It was kind of like you'regoing to college, we're going to
pay for your first semester ofcollege from this money.
And my uncle who I love verydearly at some point I guess he
said, well, and here's thethings that I bought you for
college and now you've got topay me back and I'm going to
(09:48):
write myself a check out of youraccount.
And then it was like I wasgetting canceled checks for like
his mortgage and I was like, oh, we're gonna, we're gonna wrap
this up real quick.
So I got a job at a bank myfirst year of college and I
opened my own account and Itransferred all the money out
(10:10):
and kind of stopped talking tomy family at that point in time
and realized like by my secondsemester and I'm writing like my
next check to go to college andit was $8,000 per semester and
I was like, man, at this rateI'm going to run out of money.
So I'm going to transfer.
(10:32):
And I was.
I was going to a privateuniversity at the time and I
transferred to a public like acommunity college so that I
wouldn't run out of money,spending it on college.
But I still ended up spendingall the money anyway.
Right, so I was.
I got an apartment, I got a car.
(10:53):
I started doing reallyridiculous things with my money,
like I would go visit myfriends who were still living on
campus and I would come with nobags, just me myself and my
wallet, and in the morning Iwould get up and go to the mall
and buy everything new, down tomy underwear.
Oh my gosh, like, really likeridiculous types of things.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
And then of course, I'm in college that people in
their early 20s.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Why don't you want the flexibility and freedom to
go buy a new outfit every timeyou sleep on campus in your
friend's dorm room?
Absolutely, this makes completesense.
I mean everything.
Everything new towel, washcloth, like everything brand new and
um.
And of course, because I wasalso 19, 20, you know, I'm like
we're going to a party, we'regoing to buy bottles, I'm going
(11:48):
to buy bottles, I'm going to buynew sneakers, I'm going to buy
this, I'm going to buy that.
So by the time, like my thirdyear, so I ran out of money
before I graduated college,anyway, but it was on things
that I was enjoying, right.
But by the time that happened,I was so annoyed with myself
Like by now I'm 21 and I'm likeI didn't know anything about
(12:13):
investing at that time.
I didn't know anything aboutmoney management, even though
both of my grandparents werevery, very good with money.
When my grandfather died, heleft $75,000 that we needed to
split between me, my sister andmy brother.
My grandmother was as goodmanaging money, you know,
obviously, having a plan forbills and tucking all the
(12:34):
dollars away, but they nevertaught us how to do that, right.
So we had an example, but therewas never a conversation.
So we had an example, but therewas never a conversation.
So, knowing how much mygrandfather left when he died, I
was like, man, I need torebuild this money and I don't
know how to do it, but I'm surethere's a way.
(12:54):
And so, 21, I'm working atCitibank, so I kept in the banks
for a long time and you wouldthink, working in banks, you
would learn how to manage money.
They don't actually teachemployees how to manage money at
the bank guys, which is socrazy, you would think it'd be
like part of your onboarding orsomething right Like hey, be
good with money.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Here's how to do that Technically.
It's not a function of your job.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
It's not.
That's exactly right.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They're like why would we teach you that Right,
that's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
They just wanted to make sure you're not like.
They want to know that you'renot a thief, right, but they
don't teach you how to do wellwith your money.
So, and I stayed.
I worked at Fleet Bank so thisis aging myself, because that's
a long time ago, right Beforethey became Bank of America.
Then I worked at Bank ofAmerica, then I worked at
Citibank, and when I worked atCitibank, I was working in the
(13:43):
call center.
I'm 21 years old, I'm broke.
I have $0, right, it's justwhat I'm making for my paycheck.
And one of the guys who sat infront of me in the call center
is reading this book and I'mlike what are you reading?
And he's like it's a book abouthow to manage money.
And and by now the car that Ibought got repossessed.
(14:06):
I left my apartment, I wentback home to live with my family
and I knew I wanted to rebuildthis money.
So I didn't know that when acar gets repossessed, that you
still have to pay the bill.
To pay the bill, right?
(14:29):
And my credit tanked.
So I take this book from him andI photocopy all the pages on
how to repair your credit.
And the book was really abouthow to buy a home.
But those were the pages thatwere important to me and I sat
down for 18 months and repairedmy credit myself, paid off the
repossession.
That took me almost three years, paid off the repossession,
repaired my credit, took mycredit from a 550 to a 750.
(14:51):
It's amazing.
Yeah, it was, it was.
And then I was like you knowwhat, as I started to learn how
to manage money, I startedreading everything.
So that book was like and Iwish I could remember the name
of the book.
But that book was like thecatalyst.
I still have those copiessomewhere.
I know they're here somewhere.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I just don't know.
You should put them in a frame,because they like started your
journey right, commemorate themyeah.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
So I just started reading everything I could Money
Magazine, entrepreneur Magazine.
I started reading the moneysection in the newspaper.
The internet is new and young,but there's still articles on
there about money management andI just started reading
everything I could and I waslike you know what, if I did
(15:37):
this for myself and I have thissuccess story for myself with my
credit there's got to besomeone else who would benefit
from this, who has never heardof this book, who's never going
to have a chance to read it.
I'm going to start talkingabout this and money management
and I started learning, likeabout how to pull money together
and invest.
And I got a group of 20 of myfriends together and I was like
(15:57):
hey guys, we're going to, if weeach put in $200 a month for one
year, at the end of the yearwe'll be able to buy a Subway
restaurant, because this is wheneverybody was buying Subway
franchises.
And I was like and if we dothat in one year and then the
second year we buy a secondfranchise, we're going to be
these big entrepreneurs andthese owners and we can grow
(16:18):
from there.
My friends looked at me likewe're going to the club on
Saturday.
We don't know what you'retalking about and we're not
interested.
And so I was so discouraged.
I think I had like two friendswho were interested and because
everyone else said no, the twofriends who said yes, I was like
forget it, we're not doing it.
(16:39):
I should have done it with them, with those two.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Yeah, we know that now, but yes, yes, hindsight is
always 20-20.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
So that's really how I, my financial journey, my
money journey, started.
It started from, like these baddecisions with money, realizing
the bad decisions, making aneffort to clean it up, wanting
to include other people or helpothers, and then getting to this
next point of discouragementwhere I then obviously got back
(17:13):
into it.
Maybe a few years later Istarted teaching.
Forget about friends, I'm goingto start teaching strangers.
And there's a story behind that, too, how I ended up reviving
teaching others, because at thatpoint, when my friends all said
no, I teaching others, cause atthat point, when my friends all
said no, I kind of just went onwith my life right, like I'm
managing money.
Well, I'm budgeting.
I created my first budgettemplate for myself.
(17:33):
It's the same budget template Istill use today, you know,
started managing my money Well,opened an IRA because by this
time I'm a parent.
I became a mom at 24, opened anIRA for my, for my daughter
really for me, but for her.
Got disability insurancebecause I understood it's more
likely you'll get disabled thandie Right.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
That's like Brandon's favorite phrase.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Well, the biggest thing is that a lot of people,
when they think of actually likea disability, they think that
they are permanently paralyzed.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
And that is like the less than 1% of disabilities
that occur.
Most of them you will getbetter, but you're out of work
for a certain period of time andactually normally it's like an
illness that causes it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah, I do want to just pause for a second and I do
want you to continue down yourpath of all the things that you
did.
But the fact that you had thewake up call of like OK, my car
got repossessed, I have to moveout of my apartment, pop in
bottles at the club and buyingsneakers did not last very long.
And now look at where I am.
You could have stayed in thatwoe is me spot and just
(18:42):
continued down that path, andinstead you were like I need to
get out of this and I'm.
I am going to turn it around.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
And one thing that I really connected with was you
saying that, like how you'reboth your grandparents were good
with budgeting and it was moreor less you seeing them doing it
, but they didn't actually havea conversation with you.
Because it's not just enoughand especially when it comes to
finances, it's not just enoughto model good behavior.
You really do have to explainit to your children so that they
can understand it.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Yeah.
And not shy away from thosemoney conversations.
Yeah, and I think, from thosemoney conversations.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yeah, and I think you know their generation was so
far removed from mine theyprobably didn't even think about
it, Right?
Like I remember when, I got myfirst job, my parents being like
save your money.
But they never told me how muchto save and what I was saving
it for.
But that was just the mantra Ialways heard Save your money.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I mean also the concept of you know, having
these open conversations aboutmoney is something that's new,
at least new within ourcommunity and a lot of other
people that aren't part of thewealthy, because the wealthy
have always talked about moneywith their kids and stuff like
that, but it's somethingcompletely new.
And then even you know, in yourscenario, like our scenario,
like the Internet was not aroundthe internet as it exists today
(19:55):
.
For you know, maybe some of ouryounger listeners didn't come
around to like maybe 2008, 2009,so we were already in our 20s,
working, yeah, so we couldn'tjust go to the internet and
google something that wasn'tstill spending time at the
library making photocopies likeyou said you, know, hey, let me
photocopy this.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Now it's hey, send it over.
You're copying page by page andit's a whole thing.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
There was no like oh, go ahead and Google it or go to
chat.
Chat GBT.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
No, no, that wasn't a thing.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
So you open the IRA, you got disability insurance,
you got life insurance.
Is that all from the readingsthat you were doing?
You were just self-teachingFrom the readings that you were
doing.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
you were just self-teaching, self-teaching,
yes, yes, from what I wasreading, I was working a job
that didn't offer any retirementbenefits and I was like, well,
according to these articles thatI'm reading, even at my age, I
can start a retirement.
And I had inherited aretirement account from an aunt
who passed away also, but shedidn't really fund it with
(20:56):
anything.
So I was like, oh well, okay,she gave me whatever was left in
her retirement and now I canstart that same process for my
daughter.
So, yeah, it was literally justI self-taught on all of it,
right, like I didn't.
Later on, I ended up takinglike a finance class at NYU and
(21:20):
I was like, oh, this is reallyinteresting, especially when I
started getting more into realestate, because my first job out
of college I worked for a realestate developer.
I was her first employee andshe was a millionaire and she
was only 29.
And right, but she was amillionaire and she was only 29.
And how do I like Right, but shewas honest.
I mean, you know I get it.
(21:40):
She was like I'm not going toteach you everything and I was
like OK well.
I'll go find out myself.
So natural drive is somethingthat I've always had.
Like my car didn't getrepossessed because I was
negligent with my payments.
It's because I had a boyfriendwho I was like take the car
payment and go to the bank.
And he would not go to the bankand pay the car he was buying
(22:03):
like comic books with my money.
And one day I came outside andmy car was gone and I was like,
yeah, that's awful.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
That's a lesson in and of itself.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Right, this is over, this relationship is over.
I'm going back to my parents'house and I thought, like the
debt, like oh, they'll sell thecar and I'll be free of it, and
you, and that's just not how itworked out.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
That's interesting because I guess I never really
thought about it.
Thankfully I've never had tohave a car repossessed, but I
would have thought, since youtook the asset, that that takes
care of the payment, that takescare of my payment.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, that's what I thought too, but they sell it
and whatever the deficit isbetween the sales price and what
you borrowed, you still owe.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Yeah, that makes sense, just like when people
pass away and like they stillowe taxes.
You know, yeah, and it's justyeah.
There's so many things.
These are the things that weshould be learning in school
that nobody is learning untilit's too late.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I don't want to go down that rabbit hole because I
have my own theories thatthere's a reason why they don't
teach us that.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Oh yeah, we don't have time for that rabbit hole
today.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
You know what, we don't even need to go deep.
I see you and I totally amunderstanding.
I'm picking up what you'reputting down, right?
Speaker 3 (23:16):
and down right, like I get it, it's there, it's there
.
Well, one of the other thingsthat we talked about, because
you again, right from the start,you just very openly shared
this journey.
But then your friends were like, nope, we're going to the club
and you're like, okay, you doyou, but I'm gonna do me, we're
gonna see who's better in theend.
But then you did have this itchto help others, so can you walk
us through?
The pivot of what you weredoing in the community.
(23:39):
And why?
Because I thought that wasreally fascinating too.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
So okay, so I would say probably between like 2000
and I don't know two or three,to like 2008,.
I wasn't really sharing what Iknew financially with anybody.
I tried with my friends I maybehad a few one-offs who were
like, oh, how do you fix yourcredit?
And I was like here, take thesephotocopies, make copies, give
it back to me, like, follow thatand you'll be able.
(24:04):
Because the photocopies in thebook were like all of the
letters with the sections of thecode on credit, right.
So it's telling you, based onthis section, blah, blah, blah,
you've got to delete this off mycredit in 30 days if you don't
respond, or whatever.
So I was helping people in thatway, but it was like one-to-one
.
Then in 2008, I graduated withmy master's in real estate
(24:29):
development from ColumbiaUniversity.
At the time the university wasworking on this project.
At the time the university wasworking on this project, they
were expanding their school intoHarlem, predominantly Black
community, prestigious whiteuniversity, right the
neighborhood.
So I would have to go to thepublic hearings and the
community meetings and I meanpeople came and they were livid.
(24:54):
They were like my kid willnever be able to afford to go to
this school.
My kid doesn't even go to aschool that will educate them
well enough in order to qualifyto go to your college.
I don't want you in myneighborhood, I don't want you
expanding your school in mybackyard.
And for me, being that I hadbeen working in real estate by
then for almost four years, Iwas like man and I had this
(25:15):
financial knowledge that I hadtaught myself.
I'm like man.
Maybe if they understoodfinancial literacy is their key.
With that knowledge you can putyour stake in the ground and
not have to worry aboutgentrification, not have to
worry about being pushed out.
You can get all your neighborstogether, pull your money
together and buy the buildingout from under the owner you
(25:37):
know, so that they don't sell tosomeone like the university or
sell to someone who's going tocome in and raise all the rents
and kick you out.
So I saw a need and started toteach in the community.
So I was working.
The bad part about it is I wasworking for the university, by
day, actually, as the projectmanager and owner's rep for the
(26:00):
university expansion at thebusiness school, and on the
weekends and at night I wasteaching personal finance to the
community Under an alias, bythe way, yes, under an alias,
because the project was in thepaper so often and on the news
so often.
I didn't want anyone to connectme, anyone in the community, to
(26:23):
connect me with the university,otherwise I knew they would not
come.
And so I did that for a coupleof years and I was teaching for
free just like this is youropportunity.
And by I was teaching a 10month program and they would
come once a month for like twoto four hours.
And by I was teaching a 10month program and they would
come once a month for like twoto four hours, and we would just
dive into a personal financetopic every time.
We did one on budgeting, one onmoney management, one on credit
(26:45):
, one on investing and peoplewould come out of this program
at the end and not even careabout the university project
anymore because they feltempowered to go live their lives
on their own terms.
So I have students who came outof that program who went and
(27:05):
bought condos in Westchester,forget about Harlem, they left
the city altogether.
Some who paid off all theirdebt, some who started investing
for the first time ever intheir lives and built portfolios
of $40,000, $50,000 in a yearto two years time.
So I saw that, okay, this is athing right, and it can be
(27:30):
beyond just the people here inHarlem who are facing an actual
issue and need.
So I started teaching anywherethey would take me Boys and
Girls, club, department ofProbation, forced to Care,
alternative high schools, likehigh schools where they're like
this is your final chance beforewe kick you out and all you
have left to do is get a GEV andone school in particular.
(27:52):
I worked with them for likealmost a year.
They had me come back as theirkeynote graduation speaker.
Great experiences that'samazing.
Any and everywhere that theywould take me the YMCA, like any
place where they had youngerpeople young people or young
adults, or even like olderadults who never learned about
(28:13):
money.
I felt at that time likepersonal finance should be a
right, right, like we alldeserve to learn how to manage
money, because you're thrustinto this world and you have to
earn money to live.
So why not give everyone theopportunity to learn how to
manage it?
Well, that's so incredible.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I mean, you really were like the modern day Robin
Hood, right Like you're workingfor the big corporation during
the day and then at night you'relike but we can do it better,
this doesn't have to be this way.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Yeah, I love that yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
So then, what happened after that?
So you're I mean you're allover.
You're helping people growtheir wealth, understand
financial literacy?
Yeah, what happens?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
next my gosh.
So so many amazing things.
I mean, I got picked up by themedia.
I was on all different types oftelevision networks.
I started a savings challenge,so I don't know if you guys
remember there was this.
You know they started this 52week savings challenge and it
was one dollar a week for 52weeks and at the end you would
(29:20):
save like 13 or fifteen hundreddollars, something like that.
And the girl who started it Iknow personally and it's no
shade to her, but I was likethis is ridiculous.
This is, this is mediocrity,and I don't like mediocrity.
Like what can we do differently?
And at this point I stilldidn't have a business, right, I
was just doing all of this offof, like my own heart, like just
(29:43):
servant leadership, right, likeI just want to serve.
And I was like, oh, I want todo this savings challenge and I
want to be arbitrary, right,like I don't want it to be,
because we worked out yourbudget and now we found $200.
I want to be radical.
And I pulled a random number outthe sky and was like I want to
(30:04):
save $1,000 a month, wow.
And I challenged everyone who Iwas friends with on Facebook I
challenge you to save $1,000 amonth, and I actually got 12
people to agree who I wasfriends with on Facebook.
I challenge you to save athousand dollars a month.
And I actually got 12 people toagree and we all didn't have it
(30:24):
in our budget, but we made ithappen Right.
So, like for me and my husband,we moved, we downsized our
apartment in order to make thatsavings challenge.
We had yeah, we had two cars atthe time.
We parked up one car becauseone car was paid for and I rode
the train and he drove.
We took one of our kids out ofprivate school.
Like we ended up.
It became so fun.
We ended up being able to save$2,000 a month instead of 1000.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Wow, because of that intentionality Just being
intentional and our group.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
I had 12 people who started with me.
Six of them dropped out.
We had six people who stuckwith Just being intentional, to
talk about, like they called me,the budget saving mama.
I love it.
How many kids did you have atthis point?
Four, Four girls.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Wow yeah.
The fact that you're doing allof this, working full time then,
weekends and nights in thecommunity building this
challenge.
I mean, did you ever sleep?
Cause it doesn't sound like.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, yes, I listen.
So my boss at Columbia businessschool would always say if you
want something done, give it tosomebody busy, right?
So, like moms, for whateverreason, we have this and I
definitely credit Jesus with itbecause this I have a
supernatural ability to manage alot of things at one time.
(31:55):
Now, full transparency, thatdoes not mean that everything is
being done at 100, right, butit's being done.
And I give myself that grace toknow like it's not always going
to get done at 100, but it'sgoing to get done.
So I still didn't have abusiness yet, still just doing
all these fun things gettingpicked up by media.
(32:15):
My social media is growing andI'm like oh, and to me I was
like I don't need this to be abusiness, I make six figures at
work.
I don't need the money, I justI love to do it.
And I didn't want to take onthe responsibility of a business
.
And of course, so many peopleare like well, you know, you
have something here, this canbecome an income stream for you.
And I was like and then I hadsome friends.
(32:40):
So some of my like financefriends were doing the same
thing and we were all growingtogether.
Everybody's social media isbubbling, everybody's getting
picked up by media.
They're plugging me becausethey've got things that they
need to do and they can't go toall their media appearances.
And I'm like, okay, I'm going tomake this into a business now,
(33:02):
because now they're making money, right.
And I'm like, huh, I just, Ijust still love this to to do
this.
Wait, what, how much did youmake?
What, what?
But that actually it didn'twork out for me the first time I
tried to make it a business.
So I kind of walked away fromteaching finance for five years.
(33:24):
Yeah, God was like, no, you'regoing to put this down, you're
going to go focus on being a mom.
I didn't work for almost fouryears at all.
I just stayed at home, was amom cooking, baking cookies?
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Like okay, you went from all the things to just a
mom, a full-time job and some byitself.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Yeah, yeah.
And by then I think I had fivekids by then.
So I was like you know, it'll,it'll.
I didn't think.
I honestly didn't think I wasgoing to teach finance ever
again.
You know, I was like this is itwas great, I had a great run.
It came with a lot of notoriety, not really much money, but I
served a lot of people, I helpeda lot of people.
(34:08):
I started teaching onlinebecause, probably between 2010
and 2015,.
Online space started becomingreally big, so I started
teaching in the online space.
I would do some group classesand then I walked away.
So 2016 to 2021, I didn't doanything with finance.
And then, 2021, I got a callfrom Essence Magazine and they
(34:34):
were like hey, we'd like you tocome to Atlanta and talk to
girls about what you knew aboutmoney in your twenties.
And I was like where did youfind me?
I don't even have a website.
Like That'll be my nextquestion.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
Oh, don next question .
I asked her that at dinner.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Yeah, I was like where'd you get my number, you
know?
And somehow they saw somethings because I still had
articles, I had writing credits,so I still had articles that
were still online and somehowthis girl connected with another
girl who knew me personally.
That girl called me and waslike hey, essence wants to talk
to you.
I was like what?
And they want to pay you?
(35:09):
And I was like okay, okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
I'll fill that conversation.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
I guess I can make time for Essence, no big deal.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Yes, yeah, and I had never worked with them before
and they were someone that I didwant to work with and I was
like, absolutely yes.
And I went back to God and Iwas like, wait, so I get, do I
get to go back, like, and makethis a business for real?
And it's been since 2021,really back in business, yeah,
(35:41):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I think you were gonna say something no, I just
love the idea that when you weretalking about when even though
it didn't work out the firsttime the people that you were
surrounded with, you guys, wereall helping each other and that
is not a competition.
It's not like only one personcan succeed there is enough
space for everyone to succeed,and you look at it, instead of
(36:03):
from a competition standpoint,as a collaboration.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Oh yeah, so that I have to give all the credit to
that, to Tiffany Aliche, thebudget Nista.
I met her Tiffany is fantastic.
The first time I met her.
That is one of the things shesaid to me and it stuck with me
from then.
So she and I both startedteaching personal finance the
same year and she would alwayssay don't compete, collaborate.
(36:28):
And so she and I have beenfeatured together.
We've done together.
I've taught classes for herLive Richer Academy.
She's always been phenomenal.
Her.
Tanya Rapley from MyFab Finance,marsha Barnes from the Finance
Bar those are my girls.
When I have an issue in thepersonal finance creator space,
that's my crew.
(36:48):
Hey guys, okay, I don't knowwhat to charge.
What do I do about this?
How do I negotiate this?
They are my crew.
And there's another girl, sandy.
She doesn't do as much as sheused to, but she had created
this group called Colorful Moneyand it was a group of us
(37:12):
finance creators of colorminorities, women and men, and
she made it that we could havethis space to share.
Like, hey, you're working withForbes.
I did an article with Forbes.
Here's how much I charge them.
It was just an open space wherewe could talk about
opportunities shareopportunities.
Talk about opportunities shareopportunities group evolved and
it's now called Elevate Money.
But that was, that was myfoundation.
Like we were all of us wererunning around doing all types
(37:35):
of great things and helping eachother.
Like Cara frugal feminista,she's one of like she had put me
on to so many opportunities.
Like, oh, I can't do this oneor I'm not available for that,
can you take it?
Can you take it?
So, yeah, that that squad, likehaving that squad behind you,
and I feel like in the personalfinance space in general, there
(37:56):
is more than enough people inthe world who need help that we
don't have to compete Right.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
You know, well, I even think about that when it
comes to, like, real estateagents and real estate investors
.
And you've got all these showsabout.
You know who's buying these $32million penthouses in Miami and
at the beach in California andall.
And it's like we have all theseshows and, yes, they're
competing, but there's stillenough space, you know.
So then you look at somethingas not fun and sexy as finance
(38:28):
and it makes so much sense forus to be working together and
collaborating and doing podcastswaps, and you know especially
what you mentioned about.
Well, how much did you chargeForbes and how much did that?
Those conversations need tohappen across all the fields.
You know, like hey, if I'mleaving a position and I'm
referring a friend to thatposition, here's how much I made
(38:50):
.
You should ask for 10% more.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
You know like that's 100%.
Yes, that's 100% what needs tobe happening, underestimate and
undershoot a lot of things andundershare.
If we were sharing more, wecould you know and share If we
were sharing more we could, youknow, solve these problems for
ourselves.
Because we know Chad is goingto always ask for more than he's
worth.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Chad and Trevor are asking.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
No offense to anybody named Chad or Trevor out there.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
You know so.
Real estate, though, is adifferent beast.
Right Like, I think, in thepersonal finance space, you can
share and collaborate, and notcompete, because there are
literally millions of people whodon't know what they're doing
with their money, and they workevery day.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
And high earners now right, High earners that are
living paycheck to paycheck.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
We see the articles constantly because making money
and managing money are twocompletely different things.
Yeah, real estate differentballgame.
Real estate is a shark tank.
It is a shark tank and it wasgood for me because I worked for
an owner and I had theexclusive on everything that she
rented or sold.
When you don't have that andyou are clawing with the agent
(39:59):
next to you trying to sell apiece of property, no, it is to
the death in real estate.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
That's a whole different ballgame.
I don't want to be part of that.
No, I don't want to be part ofthat.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
That's why I gave up my license after I stopped
working for her, because I waslike I'm not going into that
piranha pool, absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Yeah, cause I mean even within, like you know, as a
financial, a financial planner.
Yeah, it's a lot.
Yeah, because I mean evenwithin.
Like you know, as a financialfinancial planner, I'm not
necessarily competing with otherfinancial planners for clients,
because you, each person canresonate differently with a
different financial advisor,like we can do all the same
information and everything likethat, but our personalities are
different, our approach topersonal finance is different.
So it's like hey, if you don'tresonate with me, then it you
(40:41):
might resonate with somebodyelse.
So it's not really acompetition.
It's do we?
Hey, if you don't resonate withme, then you might resonate
with somebody else.
So it's not really acompetition.
It's do we match?
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Right Both ways on both sides and people don't
understand how important that is.
Because I like I bring on.
So I like Financial LiteracyMonth.
I do a live series and I bringon guests and people are always
curious why I bring on otherfinancial coaches, because I'm
not everybody's coach.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Right, like you may resonate with this person more
than you resonate with me, greatthat you're here, but if you
resonate with this person, gowork with them, yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
That's literally the first thing I say is you know,
if I'm meeting with a new, youknow, prospect, potential client
, I'm like if for any reasonthere's any hesitation in your
trust towards me, or justwhatever, the vibe isn't right,
I'm not your person.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Yeah, and that's okay , because also trying to force.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
It is not going to be the best use of your time or my
time.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Yeah, especially because finance is so intimate,
jess, I heard you saying thatbecause you have to get into
people's business and really,like you, have to be honest with
me about how you're spendingyour money and what your own
barriers are with yourself.
If we don't match personalitywise, it's not going to work
Right and there's such a.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
You know, people I mean people's money is personal,
but there's also so much, somuch shame and trauma and oh, I
did this wrong.
They're going to judge me and Idid this wrong.
And you know, and it's like ifyou can't get over that hump,
which is your personal hump toget over, you're not going to
click with anybody because youreally have to go into any kind
(42:14):
of coaching, financial planning,anything you know.
heck, even getting lifeinsurance.
Hey, brandon's going to seesomething that maybe your
closest friends don't see Right,and he's he tells people that
upfront.
Hey, when I get your your fileback, I will see things that
maybe your parents don't evenknow about you.
I just want you to know, youknow.
(42:34):
I mean it's a very personal andintimate relationship, and
there's people I know that, youknow.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
when I get that back, it shows that they you know
they had one or two miscarriagesand as a person I know them
outside of this relationship.
I didn't know that.
So that's why I always prefaceI was like it before we get into
this.
Like you know, there might bethings that you didn't tell me.
Just want to let you knowbeforehand.
I don't see it.
I'm going to see it.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Yeah, I think what you just said too, about that
personal relationship I think isreally important.
So I do want to pivot into thework that you're doing now,
because you are focused onfinances in the biblical way,
which is, I mean, a very nicheway to look at money and then
correct me if I'm wrong, but Ithink you also only work with
(43:17):
women at this point, right.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
So I'll work with both women and men.
Majority of my clients arewomen.
It's funny because the majorityof my like consultation calls
are with men, but my studentsare women.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
So the men call to see what it's all about, and
then the women actually sign up.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Well, the men call because they've got questions
they like either especially whenI was more focused on real
estate and how to buy a primaryhome or how to really get
started in the real estate as aninvestor majority of my calls
were my consultation calls, weremen.
Even now, recently, I've gottena lot of men who are like my
(43:58):
grandmother passed away and sheleft me this house and I want to
.
I want to make it an asset.
You know what do I need to do?
So, yeah.
So biblical finance, okay.
So I've taught personal financefor many years.
It was never from a biblicalstandpoint.
2024 is the first year thatI've really gone full fledged
(44:18):
into biblical finance, partiallybecause when you look at every
financial principle, you cantrace almost every financial
principle a coach teaches backto the Bible, and that's from
budgeting, money management,investing, diversifying your
investments, not letting moneyhave a control over you, using
(44:42):
it well to grow your community,to leave an inheritance for your
children.
All of that is biblical.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Paying your debts.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Paying your debts, being a good lender for others.
So for me, I was like you knowwhat God?
I want to highlight you I wantto show, and so two parts.
One, every financial principlegoes back to the Bible in some
way shape or form.
And two, jesus is a way betterfinancial coach than I'll ever.
Be Right, Because while I canteach anyone how to set up a
(45:13):
budget, I can teach anyone howto manage money If they're a
good student, and I can teachthem how to get out of debt.
I cannot do anythingsupernatural in your finances.
So I can't make you go underthe dresser and find a check
that you somehow lost for $1,500.
I can't do that, right.
I can't give you favor withyour creditor where the creditor
(45:37):
is telling you no, you need topay me in full or I'm reporting
this to your credit report, andthen the next time you call,
they're like you know what,we're going to give you a
payment arrangement and we'regoing to make it affordable.
I can't do that, but God can.
So let me give him his propercredit and tell people about
this additional resource infinance that has nothing to do
(45:58):
with money but will improve yourmoney relationship for sure.
So started teaching personalfinance with biblical concepts
this year.
Really, once a week I was likeI'm going to do a post on a
financial principle that relatesback to the Bible.
And in March I kind of was likeGod, what do you want me to do
with this?
This is not getting really alot of attention.
(46:19):
No one's really payingattention.
If this is what you want me tokeep doing, like I was doing
fine teaching finance just byitself.
And I said that before I made apost on a Sunday and that post
went to 2 million people and Iwas like, okay, jesus has spoken
, keep going.
Here we go, yeah, and I love itbecause it's such a.
(46:43):
I did not realize how manypeople wanted to know what God
had to say about money and itreally is different than what I
would teach without the Bible.
It comes to God and money.
(47:05):
It's really about your heartfirst, not the dollars.
But when you adjust your heartnow, how you use the dollars is
going to change.
That's so interesting.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
I know that when we were at dinner I asked you a
question about tithing which Ithink can be.
obviously it's highly personaland people have their own ideas
around it.
But I really liked what yousaid about the three different
ways to tithe and of course youpulled it back into why the
tithe exists and why the 10% andwhere that 10% came from.
(47:30):
But my question around tithingfor today's episode is centered
around the people who aretithing 10%, let's say, you know
, because that's kind of thestandard number that's thrown
out.
So people who are tithing 10%but are in debt and could use
their tithing money to get outof debt.
(47:52):
So if they, you know,substituted tithing with, maybe
community service of some sortfor a period of time, instead of
giving monetarily, they couldgive up their time to help
eliminate their debt but choosenot to because of whatever sort
of guilt or thoughts they havearound tithing.
So I'd love to know yourthoughts on on tithing and
(48:16):
finances, for if you've everworked with somebody that's like
, well, I have to tithe.
I can't stop.
Even if you've shown them thenumbers to say, hey, if you stop
tithing for six months, you'llbe debt free, versus if you keep
tithing, it's going to take 18months, right?
So we'd just love to know yourtake on that.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
Yeah.
So I do not.
One thing I'll say upfront I donot recommend anyone stop
tithing if they're committed toit right.
Because here's the thingtithing is a principle of the
Bible that's heart based.
It's not obligation orcompulsion.
At this point, right In the OldTestament, you had to tithe by
law, but people were tithing bylaw and their heart wasn't
(48:55):
committed.
The principle of tithing startedbefore the law.
So in Genesis we see Abrahamgive Mekezildek a tithe of 10%,
and then we also see Jacob giveGod a tithe of 10%.
Both of those tithes existedbefore the Mosaic law was even
created.
So the principle of giving Goda 10th of what you receive, we
(49:18):
have to remember one.
Everything we have is hisanyway.
He's giving it to us on loan.
As stewards we have to.
Then, in honor of him, we cangive 10% back to him.
If you don't feel connected tothe tithe, you don't have to do
it.
But for those who do feelconnected to it, to tell them to
stop to pay off debt eventhough the numbers financially
(49:41):
work, it would be a violation oftheir conscience.
And now I'm causing them to sin, and so I can't put someone in
a position to violate theirconscience and sin against their
God when they've made acommitment, even if that
commitment looks like on paperthat financially it's hurting
them.
So have I had clients who saythey are not cutting, they're
(50:04):
not reducing their tithingAbsolutely.
I've had others who have chosenof their own free will to do it
right, and then they supplementtheir tithe with time and
talent.
Right, Because tithe can befinancial.
You can give a tithe oftreasure, a tithe of talent and
a tide of time and really, as abeliever, you're supposed to do
(50:25):
all three.
Right.
But if you're in a positionwhere you can't do all three
maybe because if you just gavemoney and not time and talent,
you're still not being afull-fledged, functioning
believer right, we're supposedto do all three.
So I could look at it fromeither standpoint.
If you're giving the money butyou're not given time and talent
(50:46):
, you still not.
There's still work for you todo in your relationship with God
, one on one.
Those who are and we have tounderstand right, like those who
understand the principle oftithing and commit to it from a
heart perspective because theywant to honor the principle even
when their finances are not ina good place, they will see a
(51:06):
breakthrough financially at somepoint in their journey because
of that commitment they've made.
There's an honor that comes toGod when you tithe and in the
repayment for your honor, heallows you to have unexpected
blessings, unexpected windfalls.
You to have unexpectedblessings, unexpected windfalls.
I have my own personal testimonywith that of like going to New
(51:27):
York to go sell a house that Iknew I wasn't going to make any
money off of Walking away fromthe closing, going to see my
mother-in-law and her being likehey, you've got some mail here.
I open up the mail it's a check, a refund from my mortgage
company.
Oh, we messed up, weovercharged you.
Here you go, you know, eventhough I walked away from the
(51:48):
closing with zero.
So he will show up in differentways when you can.
That's why I was saying, likebiblical finance is about the
heart, it's about not feelingtied to money in a way.
So when you're able to let go,God is able to give you in other
ways.
So like I sold a house for amillion dollars and did not make
a dollar, Right, Totally didnot make a dollar, and that's
(52:11):
his own story.
But then God, Part two of thepodcast, yes, part two.
But God saw that I wasn'tgriping or whining or
complaining about having to walkaway from this closing table
with nothing but my name,because that's what I asked for,
Lord.
Just let me walk away with myname, clear.
Forget about the money.
If I don't make a dollar, Idon't care.
(52:31):
And then he blessed me the sameday with a check from somewhere
else.
That's the posture of biblicalfinance.
It's learning how to managemoney well, yes, absolutely.
Learning how to be a goodinvestor, Absolutely.
But also learning that youdon't have to let money control
you or hold you.
(52:52):
The easier you are to let go ofit, the more you can be blessed
with over time.
Speaker 3 (52:58):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
And I think that even ties back to our previous
conversation about when you'reworking with an advisor who you
to connect with and you matchand they respect that aspect of
you.
You know, I personally wouldn'tconsider myself an extremely
religious person.
I do believe in a higher power,but I've had instances with you
know clients where they weretithing.
(53:19):
I you know, from a mathematicalstandpoint it would make sense
for them to put that moneytowards debt, but that was
important to them.
We're like OK, conversationdone, let's move to the next one
.
Speaker 1 (53:29):
And I think it's OK Me, when I first started
teaching personal finance, I wasvery like no, you got to get
rid of this.
Like you've got to get rid of.
You can't afford Starbucks,Right?
Like when you do the math percapita, you have to make at
least $90,000 a year to affordStarbucks.
You don't make 90,000.
Cut Starbucks from your budget,right?
Like that's how I was teachingand it worked for a lot of
(53:52):
people.
But over time I've realizedlike listen, there are things
people want that they want, andI'm okay with you having your
choices, as long as youunderstand that means you have
to make other choices somewhereelse.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Yeah, 100% yeah, because I don't tell people what
to do.
I show them what it looks likeif they take option A, where it
goes to how long it takes to getthere, or if you take option B,
how long it takes for you toget there and what that looks
like.
You make the decision.
As long as you are comfortablewith it, everything's fine,
because like I said once again,it's not my life.
Speaker 3 (54:27):
Well, but also, when you're uncomfortable with
something, right, if it's like,okay, cut out Starbucks, and
it's like, oh, that's my onepiece of happiness for the day,
well then you're probably notgoing to stick to whatever the
plan is.
Long term, you're going to bemiserable, which, again, it's
just like that diet mentality oflike, oh, you can't have fried
chicken, so all you want is thefried chicken.
And then when you have anopportunity, you're going to
binge the fried chicken.
It's just, it's not a goodcycle you know, so Yep, yep.
Speaker 1 (54:49):
True.
Speaker 3 (54:50):
Lilius, this has been .
I know we need to do a part twoand part three.
First of all, how do you affordberries for your six children?
That's a whole episode initself, but then also, Our kids
inhale strawberries.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
We need to keep up.
I need a raise for the.
Speaker 3 (55:05):
Yeah, if anybody's trying to sell a strawberry farm
, please let us know, because wewill buy it no, we'll invest in
it.
I don't want to tell it but weknow that there's so much more
to this conversation where wecan dig in and pull out all of
your goodness for the people whoare listening, who are like, oh
, lilias could be my.
I resonate with women infinance and the biblical aspect.
Where can our listeners findyou?
Speaker 1 (55:27):
Yes, so they can find me online.
So I'm on Instagram atyourfinancialstylist.
You can also go to my website,which is yourfinancialstylistcom
.
I also have a little bit onTikTok, a little bit.
You're a financial stylist overthere too, perfect, so those are
sort of my main sort of, mymain ones I'm trying to build up
on YouTube.
(55:47):
Actually, I'm going to bestarting a series called pulling
back the curtain because Ithink, like you said, jessica,
how I'm so open and I'm, like,ready to share.
I think it's important as afinance coach to not let you
think everything over here isperfect, right?
So let me pull back the curtainand show you my life behind the
(56:08):
scenes.
I'm not afraid to share,because my biggest thing is
here's the mistakes I've madeI've made every mistake and
here's how I bounce back everytime, right.
So don't be afraid of makingthe mistake, right.
You can always recover with theright attitude, like I just
shared.
I just came back from Europeand I was sharing on Monday,
like how the Euro, beingstronger than the dollar, ran my
(56:30):
pockets Like it's like you'rebleeding money out there, you
know, and I blew my spendingbudget.
Speaker 3 (56:38):
But did you have a fabulous time.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
I did, I had a great time.
I had a great time.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (56:44):
Well, we usually say, well, what's what's one thing
you would leave our audiencewith, but I feel like you just
said it right, like don't beafraid to make the mistakes, but
is there anything that you'dlike to add to that as a final
thought?
Speaker 1 (56:55):
So I posted this today actually, and I think it's
a perfect quote to end with youare only a failure when you
quit, not when you try one moretime.
That is perfect, yeah that isreally nice.
Speaker 3 (57:07):
We are so thankful for this conversation.
Again, stay tuned.
We're gonna have to do a parttwo and part three to dig into
some of these other areas.
We will make sure to tag all ofyour socials and your website.
Definitely can't wait for theYouTube series yeah, pulling
back the curtain because thathonesty and transparency is so
important when it comes to thistopic, because the internet will
(57:30):
have us believing thateveryone's out here walking
around like a millionaire with60 properties living their best
life, and you know that that'snot the reality.
But sometimes looks can bedeceiving.
So we appreciate your honestyand vulnerability and the
journey that you've taken, whichhas been so incredible.
So thank you for being with ustoday, lilius.
Oh, thank you, thank you forhaving me.
(57:50):
Don't forget.
Benjamin Franklin said aninvestment in knowledge pays the
best interest you just got paid.
Until next time.
Thanks for listening to today'sepisode.
We are so glad to have you aspart of our Sugar Daddy
(58:12):
community.
If you learned something today,please remember to subscribe,
rate, review and share thisepisode with your friends,
family and extended network.
Don't forget to connect with uson social media at the sugar
daddy podcast.
You can also email us yourquestions.
You want us to answer for ourpast the sugar segments at the
sugar daddy podcast at gmailcomor leave us a voicemail through
(58:36):
our Instagram.
Speaker 2 (58:37):
Our content is intended to be used, and must be
used, for informationalpurposes only.
It is very important to do yourown analysis before making any
investment, based upon your ownpersonal circumstances.
You should take independentfinancial advice from a licensed
professional in connection withor independently research and
verify any information you findin our podcast and wish to rely
upon, whether for the purpose ofmaking an investment decision
or otherwise.
If you don't feel connected to the tithe, you
don't have to do it.
But for those who do feelconnected to it, to tell them to
stop to pay off debt eventhough the numbers financially
work, it would be a violation oftheir conscience.
And now I'm causing them to sin, and so I can't put someone in
a position to violate theirconscience and sin against their
(00:22):
God when they've made acommitment, even if that
commitment looks like on paperthat financially it's hurting
them.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hey babe, what are we talking about today?
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Today we have a super amazing guest in our stew.
We have Lilius John.
She is one of the fierce womenthat I met at the Women in Money
event.
Remember when I poppedliterally in and out of New York
City and Lilius and I had wemet.
(01:05):
We sat next to each other atdinner and our conversation just
blew me away.
And I was like you have to beon our podcast, so guess what?
She is here with us today,lilius, we are so excited to
have you.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Thank you for being on the Sugar Daddy podcast.
Thank you, this is so excitingand I loved meeting you, jessica
.
We had such a good conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
It was instant connection.
And I I was like and we're soulsisters and she also lives in
North Carolina so we'repractically neighbors.
Yeah, it was just meant to beit was just meant to be it was
Speaker 2 (01:34):
for sure in case anybody doesn't know, one of
just the superpowers is that sheconnects with everybody she's a
people person.
Person.
I'm semi opposite.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
You're like a troll that wants to stay at home and
not be bothered.
I'm like, oh, I talked to ourneighbor so and so and he's like
who?
And I'm like we've lived herefor six years, how do you not
know who our neighbors are?
But anyways, it is mysuperpower and that has led us
to Lilius.
So I'm really excited.
Now, this conversation I'm justgoing to say up front it can go
in so many directions becauseLilius, really she's just a
(02:09):
force.
But I essentially told her weneed to recreate our
conversation from dinner becausethere was so much.
I mean, my jaw was just on thefloor and I was like tell me
more, I need to know more.
So we're going to do a littlebit of everything, but let's get
into this bio so that peopleknow who you are and all the
different directions we couldpotentially take in this
(02:30):
conversation today.
Yeah, sounds good, yay, okay.
Lillias John, also known as yourfinancial stylist, is a finance
coach, real estate consultantand mom of six.
So y'all already know she's asuperhero.
She teaches biblical financialprinciples which clients use to
transform their finances, breakfree from debt and start to
(02:53):
manage money God's way.
With over 20 years experiencein real estate, she is also
known for teaching homeownershow to build equity in their
home without being a landlord,airbnb host or house flipper.
She has writing credits inHuffington Post, black
Enterprise, debtcom, creditcom,and is a respected voice in the
(03:13):
personal finance industry.
Okay, so see what I mean.
Like we could go real estate,we can go biblical finance, we
can do all the things.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
How do you manage to have six kids and still do all
the things?
How?
Speaker 3 (03:24):
do you manage to have six kids and and still do all
the things?
Yeah, yeah.
Are you sane?
Lilias are you.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
That's a.
I think so, by the grace of godyes, six kids.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Well, we always start off our conversations with our
guests with your first moneymemory and I know that's going
to kind of lead us into the restof our discussion, but but if
you would share that with us,we'd love to hear it.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It's funny because I don't think we talked about that
at dinner.
But my first money memory iswith my grandmother and her
having like envelopes tucked allover the house with money, like
under the dresser, under themattress, in different drawers.
She had envelopes of moneystashed away all different
(04:07):
places in the house as hersavings account.
No this was just likeadditional.
She had a savings account too.
She had a savings account forherself, she had a savings
account for me, and then she had, like all these other little
stashes.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
So what was?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
the purpose of having ?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
What was the purpose of I?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
think maybe certain ones for like were like for
bills like that maybe weren'tdue yet, but she was receiving
Social Security and so she gotone check a month and was just I
don't know why they were tuckedunder dressers and I don't know
.
That part I can't answer, butyeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Did part I can't answer, but yeah, I don't know,
Did you ever bring her anenvelope and be like grandma?
What's this?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
No, oh, no, no, I like my life I had to like Just
find a random envelope somewhere.
See and don't see, I would haveto just put it back and like I
remember, like, looking for,like my shoe one day and going
under the dresser and findingthis envelope of money and just,
and my shoe and your shoe,putting it back and taking my
(05:11):
shoe and going about my day.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
That is so funny.
If I did that, I would.
I would just be losing money.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You sure would, all over the house.
I would never find it again.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Never, I know I'm so organized that I I over organize
myself sometimes so organizedthat you over organize.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
So organized you can't find things don't make
that face.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
That's rude.
It's rude.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Well, there's probably something really
beneficial to glean from that.
I'm telling you, yeah so isyour.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
is your grandmother still with us?
Okay, when she did pass, didyou guys have to, like, scour
through the house to account forall the envelopes?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yes, yes, in fact I was the one who was able to tell
them.
There are envelopes, here's one, here's another one, you know,
and it was kind of like I don'tthink my family had no idea.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I definitely have heard stories from other people
that I know that when theirgrandparents passed away, that
they're going through the houseand organizing everything and
finding money in pots and pans,finding money in old shoeboxes
and stuff like that Oatmealcontainers Seems like maybe a
common thing with thatgeneration.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, I think so, I think so they wanted to spread
their money out.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yeah Well, lilius, at dinner we talked about so many
things, but I want to start offour conversation about how you,
how you started your moneyjourney right, because even on
your social media, you're veryopen about the things that have
happened in your life, the moneymistakes that you've made.
(06:48):
You know you're not out herebeing like I'm a millionaire
who's done everything perfectly.
You're like no, there have beenhurdles and blocks and
learnings along the way.
And one of one of the thingsthat you mentioned early on in
our conversation was youradoption story, and then, what
happened with your biologicalfather, so I would love for you
(07:10):
to share that with our audienceand kind of how that catapulted
your your finance journey.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, so okay.
So my grandmother passed awayin 92 and 93.
So I was 12 at the time and shehad been my primary guardian
for my entire life.
My biological father actuallypassed away the year I was born.
My mother was still living atthat time and I had to.
(07:38):
You know, my family had tofigure out where I was going to
live after that, and so mygrandmother had three sons and
so one of my uncles I guess theyhad a powwow and one of my
uncles.
They decided that I was goingto go live with him.
Him and his wife were emptynesters already at the time.
My other two uncles they stillwere raising children and so I
(08:00):
ended up living there and Ilived there until I graduated
from high school and I knew mygrandmother left me an
inheritance and then mygrandfather he also died in 93.
And he also left me aninheritance.
Now context my grandmother diedin a car accident that I was in
(08:22):
with her.
Grandmother died in a caraccident that I was in with her.
So there was also a settlementexcuse me, that came from that
accident that I also receivedwhen I graduated from high
school.
So I think, all in totalbetween my grandfather, my
grandmother and the settlement Ireceived about $67,000.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Have you been listening to our podcast and
wondering how am I really doingwith my money?
Am I doing the right thingswith my investments?
Am I on track to reach myfinancial goals?
What could I be doing better?
If you answered yes to any ofthese questions, then it's time
for you to reach out to Brandonto schedule your free yes, I
said free 30-minute introductionconversation to see how his
(09:08):
services could help make you themore confident moneymaker we
know you could be.
What are you waiting for?
It's literally free and at thevery least, you'll walk away
feeling more empowered andconfident about your financial
future.
Link is in our show notes.
Go schedule your call today.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
It.
Actually I didn't get it Likeit wasn't like you turn 18 and
you got a check.
It was kind of like you'regoing to college, we're going to
pay for your first semester ofcollege from this money.
And my uncle who I love verydearly at some point I guess he
said, well, and here's thethings that I bought you for
college and now you've got topay me back and I'm going to
(09:48):
write myself a check out of youraccount.
And then it was like I wasgetting canceled checks for like
his mortgage and I was like, oh, we're gonna, we're gonna wrap
this up real quick.
So I got a job at a bank myfirst year of college and I
opened my own account and Itransferred all the money out
(10:10):
and kind of stopped talking tomy family at that point in time
and realized like by my secondsemester and I'm writing like my
next check to go to college andit was $8,000 per semester and
I was like, man, at this rateI'm going to run out of money.
So I'm going to transfer.
(10:32):
And I was.
I was going to a privateuniversity at the time and I
transferred to a public like acommunity college so that I
wouldn't run out of money,spending it on college.
But I still ended up spendingall the money anyway.
Right, so I was.
I got an apartment, I got a car.
(10:53):
I started doing reallyridiculous things with my money,
like I would go visit myfriends who were still living on
campus and I would come with nobags, just me myself and my
wallet, and in the morning Iwould get up and go to the mall
and buy everything new, down tomy underwear.
Oh my gosh, like, really likeridiculous types of things.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
And then of course, I'm in college that people in
their early 20s.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
Why don't you want the flexibility and freedom to
go buy a new outfit every timeyou sleep on campus in your
friend's dorm room?
Absolutely, this makes completesense.
I mean everything.
Everything new towel, washcloth, like everything brand new and
um.
And of course, because I wasalso 19, 20, you know, I'm like
we're going to a party, we'regoing to buy bottles, I'm going
(11:48):
to buy bottles, I'm going to buynew sneakers, I'm going to buy
this, I'm going to buy that.
So by the time, like my thirdyear, so I ran out of money
before I graduated college,anyway, but it was on things
that I was enjoying, right.
But by the time that happened,I was so annoyed with myself
Like by now I'm 21 and I'm likeI didn't know anything about
(12:13):
investing at that time.
I didn't know anything aboutmoney management, even though
both of my grandparents werevery, very good with money.
When my grandfather died, heleft $75,000 that we needed to
split between me, my sister andmy brother.
My grandmother was as goodmanaging money, you know,
obviously, having a plan forbills and tucking all the
(12:34):
dollars away, but they nevertaught us how to do that, right.
So we had an example, but therewas never a conversation.
So we had an example, but therewas never a conversation.
So, knowing how much mygrandfather left when he died, I
was like, man, I need torebuild this money and I don't
know how to do it, but I'm surethere's a way.
(12:54):
And so, 21, I'm working atCitibank, so I kept in the banks
for a long time and you wouldthink, working in banks, you
would learn how to manage money.
They don't actually teachemployees how to manage money at
the bank guys, which is socrazy, you would think it'd be
like part of your onboarding orsomething right Like hey, be
good with money.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Here's how to do that Technically.
It's not a function of your job.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
It's not.
That's exactly right.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
They're like why would we teach you that Right,
that's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
They just wanted to make sure you're not like.
They want to know that you'renot a thief, right, but they
don't teach you how to do wellwith your money.
So, and I stayed.
I worked at Fleet Bank so thisis aging myself, because that's
a long time ago, right Beforethey became Bank of America.
Then I worked at Bank ofAmerica, then I worked at
Citibank, and when I worked atCitibank, I was working in the
(13:43):
call center.
I'm 21 years old, I'm broke.
I have $0, right, it's justwhat I'm making for my paycheck.
And one of the guys who sat infront of me in the call center
is reading this book and I'mlike what are you reading?
And he's like it's a book abouthow to manage money.
And and by now the car that Ibought got repossessed.
(14:06):
I left my apartment, I wentback home to live with my family
and I knew I wanted to rebuildthis money.
So I didn't know that when acar gets repossessed, that you
still have to pay the bill.
To pay the bill, right?
(14:29):
And my credit tanked.
So I take this book from him andI photocopy all the pages on
how to repair your credit.
And the book was really abouthow to buy a home.
But those were the pages thatwere important to me and I sat
down for 18 months and repairedmy credit myself, paid off the
repossession.
That took me almost three years, paid off the repossession,
repaired my credit, took mycredit from a 550 to a 750.
(14:51):
It's amazing.
Yeah, it was, it was.
And then I was like you knowwhat, as I started to learn how
to manage money, I startedreading everything.
So that book was like and Iwish I could remember the name
of the book.
But that book was like thecatalyst.
I still have those copiessomewhere.
I know they're here somewhere.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I just don't know.
You should put them in a frame,because they like started your
journey right, commemorate themyeah.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
So I just started reading everything I could Money
Magazine, entrepreneur Magazine.
I started reading the moneysection in the newspaper.
The internet is new and young,but there's still articles on
there about money management andI just started reading
everything I could and I waslike you know what, if I did
(15:37):
this for myself and I have thissuccess story for myself with my
credit there's got to besomeone else who would benefit
from this, who has never heardof this book, who's never going
to have a chance to read it.
I'm going to start talkingabout this and money management
and I started learning, likeabout how to pull money together
and invest.
And I got a group of 20 of myfriends together and I was like
(15:57):
hey guys, we're going to, if weeach put in $200 a month for one
year, at the end of the yearwe'll be able to buy a Subway
restaurant, because this is wheneverybody was buying Subway
franchises.
And I was like and if we dothat in one year and then the
second year we buy a secondfranchise, we're going to be
these big entrepreneurs andthese owners and we can grow
(16:18):
from there.
My friends looked at me likewe're going to the club on
Saturday.
We don't know what you'retalking about and we're not
interested.
And so I was so discouraged.
I think I had like two friendswho were interested and because
everyone else said no, the twofriends who said yes, I was like
forget it, we're not doing it.
(16:39):
I should have done it with them, with those two.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Yeah, we know that now, but yes, yes, hindsight is
always 20-20.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
So that's really how I, my financial journey, my
money journey, started.
It started from, like these baddecisions with money, realizing
the bad decisions, making aneffort to clean it up, wanting
to include other people or helpothers, and then getting to this
next point of discouragementwhere I then obviously got back
(17:13):
into it.
Maybe a few years later Istarted teaching.
Forget about friends, I'm goingto start teaching strangers.
And there's a story behind that, too, how I ended up reviving
teaching others, because at thatpoint, when my friends all said
no, I teaching others, cause atthat point, when my friends all
said no, I kind of just went onwith my life right, like I'm
managing money.
Well, I'm budgeting.
I created my first budgettemplate for myself.
(17:33):
It's the same budget template Istill use today, you know,
started managing my money Well,opened an IRA because by this
time I'm a parent.
I became a mom at 24, opened anIRA for my, for my daughter
really for me, but for her.
Got disability insurancebecause I understood it's more
likely you'll get disabled thandie Right.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
That's like Brandon's favorite phrase.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Well, the biggest thing is that a lot of people,
when they think of actually likea disability, they think that
they are permanently paralyzed.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
And that is like the less than 1% of disabilities
that occur.
Most of them you will getbetter, but you're out of work
for a certain period of time andactually normally it's like an
illness that causes it.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah, I do want to just pause for a second and I do
want you to continue down yourpath of all the things that you
did.
But the fact that you had thewake up call of like OK, my car
got repossessed, I have to moveout of my apartment, pop in
bottles at the club and buyingsneakers did not last very long.
And now look at where I am.
You could have stayed in thatwoe is me spot and just
(18:42):
continued down that path, andinstead you were like I need to
get out of this and I'm.
I am going to turn it around.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
And one thing that I really connected with was you
saying that, like how you'reboth your grandparents were good
with budgeting and it was moreor less you seeing them doing it
, but they didn't actually havea conversation with you.
Because it's not just enoughand especially when it comes to
finances, it's not just enoughto model good behavior.
You really do have to explainit to your children so that they
can understand it.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Yeah.
And not shy away from thosemoney conversations.
Yeah, and I think, from thosemoney conversations.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yeah, and I think you know their generation was so
far removed from mine theyprobably didn't even think about
it, Right?
Like I remember when, I got myfirst job, my parents being like
save your money.
But they never told me how muchto save and what I was saving
it for.
But that was just the mantra Ialways heard Save your money.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I mean also the concept of you know, having
these open conversations aboutmoney is something that's new,
at least new within ourcommunity and a lot of other
people that aren't part of thewealthy, because the wealthy
have always talked about moneywith their kids and stuff like
that, but it's somethingcompletely new.
And then even you know, in yourscenario, like our scenario,
like the Internet was not aroundthe internet as it exists today
(19:55):
.
For you know, maybe some of ouryounger listeners didn't come
around to like maybe 2008, 2009,so we were already in our 20s,
working, yeah, so we couldn'tjust go to the internet and
google something that wasn'tstill spending time at the
library making photocopies likeyou said you, know, hey, let me
photocopy this.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Now it's hey, send it over.
You're copying page by page andit's a whole thing.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
There was no like oh, go ahead and Google it or go to
chat.
Chat GBT.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
No, no, that wasn't a thing.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
So you open the IRA, you got disability insurance,
you got life insurance.
Is that all from the readingsthat you were doing?
You were just self-teachingFrom the readings that you were
doing.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
you were just self-teaching, self-teaching,
yes, yes, from what I wasreading, I was working a job
that didn't offer any retirementbenefits and I was like, well,
according to these articles thatI'm reading, even at my age, I
can start a retirement.
And I had inherited aretirement account from an aunt
who passed away also, but shedidn't really fund it with
(20:56):
anything.
So I was like, oh well, okay,she gave me whatever was left in
her retirement and now I canstart that same process for my
daughter.
So, yeah, it was literally justI self-taught on all of it,
right, like I didn't.
Later on, I ended up takinglike a finance class at NYU and
(21:20):
I was like, oh, this is reallyinteresting, especially when I
started getting more into realestate, because my first job out
of college I worked for a realestate developer.
I was her first employee andshe was a millionaire and she
was only 29.
And right, but she was amillionaire and she was only 29.
And how do I like Right, but shewas honest.
I mean, you know I get it.
(21:40):
She was like I'm not going toteach you everything and I was
like OK well.
I'll go find out myself.
So natural drive is somethingthat I've always had.
Like my car didn't getrepossessed because I was
negligent with my payments.
It's because I had a boyfriendwho I was like take the car
payment and go to the bank.
And he would not go to the bankand pay the car he was buying
(22:03):
like comic books with my money.
And one day I came outside andmy car was gone and I was like,
yeah, that's awful.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
That's a lesson in and of itself.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Right, this is over, this relationship is over.
I'm going back to my parents'house and I thought, like the
debt, like oh, they'll sell thecar and I'll be free of it, and
you, and that's just not how itworked out.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
That's interesting because I guess I never really
thought about it.
Thankfully I've never had tohave a car repossessed, but I
would have thought, since youtook the asset, that that takes
care of the payment, that takescare of my payment.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, that's what I thought too, but they sell it
and whatever the deficit isbetween the sales price and what
you borrowed, you still owe.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Yeah, that makes sense, just like when people
pass away and like they stillowe taxes.
You know, yeah, and it's justyeah.
There's so many things.
These are the things that weshould be learning in school
that nobody is learning untilit's too late.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I don't want to go down that rabbit hole because I
have my own theories thatthere's a reason why they don't
teach us that.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Oh yeah, we don't have time for that rabbit hole
today.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
You know what, we don't even need to go deep.
I see you and I totally amunderstanding.
I'm picking up what you'reputting down, right?
Speaker 3 (23:16):
and down right, like I get it, it's there, it's there
.
Well, one of the other thingsthat we talked about, because
you again, right from the start,you just very openly shared
this journey.
But then your friends were like, nope, we're going to the club
and you're like, okay, you doyou, but I'm gonna do me, we're
gonna see who's better in theend.
But then you did have this itchto help others, so can you walk
us through?
The pivot of what you weredoing in the community.
(23:39):
And why?
Because I thought that wasreally fascinating too.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
So okay, so I would say probably between like 2000
and I don't know two or three,to like 2008,.
I wasn't really sharing what Iknew financially with anybody.
I tried with my friends I maybehad a few one-offs who were
like, oh, how do you fix yourcredit?
And I was like here, take thesephotocopies, make copies, give
it back to me, like, follow thatand you'll be able.
(24:04):
Because the photocopies in thebook were like all of the
letters with the sections of thecode on credit, right.
So it's telling you, based onthis section, blah, blah, blah,
you've got to delete this off mycredit in 30 days if you don't
respond, or whatever.
So I was helping people in thatway, but it was like one-to-one
.
Then in 2008, I graduated withmy master's in real estate
(24:29):
development from ColumbiaUniversity.
At the time the university wasworking on this project.
At the time the university wasworking on this project, they
were expanding their school intoHarlem, predominantly Black
community, prestigious whiteuniversity, right the
neighborhood.
So I would have to go to thepublic hearings and the
community meetings and I meanpeople came and they were livid.
(24:54):
They were like my kid willnever be able to afford to go to
this school.
My kid doesn't even go to aschool that will educate them
well enough in order to qualifyto go to your college.
I don't want you in myneighborhood, I don't want you
expanding your school in mybackyard.
And for me, being that I hadbeen working in real estate by
then for almost four years, Iwas like man and I had this
(25:15):
financial knowledge that I hadtaught myself.
I'm like man.
Maybe if they understoodfinancial literacy is their key.
With that knowledge you can putyour stake in the ground and
not have to worry aboutgentrification, not have to
worry about being pushed out.
You can get all your neighborstogether, pull your money
together and buy the buildingout from under the owner you
(25:37):
know, so that they don't sell tosomeone like the university or
sell to someone who's going tocome in and raise all the rents
and kick you out.
So I saw a need and started toteach in the community.
So I was working.
The bad part about it is I wasworking for the university, by
day, actually, as the projectmanager and owner's rep for the
(26:00):
university expansion at thebusiness school, and on the
weekends and at night I wasteaching personal finance to the
community Under an alias, bythe way, yes, under an alias,
because the project was in thepaper so often and on the news
so often.
I didn't want anyone to connectme, anyone in the community, to
(26:23):
connect me with the university,otherwise I knew they would not
come.
And so I did that for a coupleof years and I was teaching for
free just like this is youropportunity.
And by I was teaching a 10month program and they would
come once a month for like twoto four hours.
And by I was teaching a 10month program and they would
come once a month for like twoto four hours, and we would just
dive into a personal financetopic every time.
We did one on budgeting, one onmoney management, one on credit
(26:45):
, one on investing and peoplewould come out of this program
at the end and not even careabout the university project
anymore because they feltempowered to go live their lives
on their own terms.
So I have students who came outof that program who went and
(27:05):
bought condos in Westchester,forget about Harlem, they left
the city altogether.
Some who paid off all theirdebt, some who started investing
for the first time ever intheir lives and built portfolios
of $40,000, $50,000 in a yearto two years time.
So I saw that, okay, this is athing right, and it can be
(27:30):
beyond just the people here inHarlem who are facing an actual
issue and need.
So I started teaching anywherethey would take me Boys and
Girls, club, department ofProbation, forced to Care,
alternative high schools, likehigh schools where they're like
this is your final chance beforewe kick you out and all you
have left to do is get a GEV andone school in particular.
(27:52):
I worked with them for likealmost a year.
They had me come back as theirkeynote graduation speaker.
Great experiences that'samazing.
Any and everywhere that theywould take me the YMCA, like any
place where they had youngerpeople young people or young
adults, or even like olderadults who never learned about
(28:13):
money.
I felt at that time likepersonal finance should be a
right, right, like we alldeserve to learn how to manage
money, because you're thrustinto this world and you have to
earn money to live.
So why not give everyone theopportunity to learn how to
manage it?
Well, that's so incredible.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
I mean, you really were like the modern day Robin
Hood, right Like you're workingfor the big corporation during
the day and then at night you'relike but we can do it better,
this doesn't have to be this way.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Yeah, I love that yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
So then, what happened after that?
So you're I mean you're allover.
You're helping people growtheir wealth, understand
financial literacy?
Yeah, what happens?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
next my gosh.
So so many amazing things.
I mean, I got picked up by themedia.
I was on all different types oftelevision networks.
I started a savings challenge,so I don't know if you guys
remember there was this.
You know they started this 52week savings challenge and it
was one dollar a week for 52weeks and at the end you would
(29:20):
save like 13 or fifteen hundreddollars, something like that.
And the girl who started it Iknow personally and it's no
shade to her, but I was likethis is ridiculous.
This is, this is mediocrity,and I don't like mediocrity.
Like what can we do differently?
And at this point I stilldidn't have a business, right, I
was just doing all of this offof, like my own heart, like just
(29:43):
servant leadership, right, likeI just want to serve.
And I was like, oh, I want todo this savings challenge and I
want to be arbitrary, right,like I don't want it to be,
because we worked out yourbudget and now we found $200.
I want to be radical.
And I pulled a random number outthe sky and was like I want to
(30:04):
save $1,000 a month, wow.
And I challenged everyone who Iwas friends with on Facebook I
challenge you to save $1,000 amonth, and I actually got 12
people to agree who I wasfriends with on Facebook.
I challenge you to save athousand dollars a month.
And I actually got 12 people toagree and we all didn't have it
(30:24):
in our budget, but we made ithappen Right.
So, like for me and my husband,we moved, we downsized our
apartment in order to make thatsavings challenge.
We had yeah, we had two cars atthe time.
We parked up one car becauseone car was paid for and I rode
the train and he drove.
We took one of our kids out ofprivate school.
Like we ended up.
It became so fun.
We ended up being able to save$2,000 a month instead of 1000.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Wow, because of that intentionality Just being
intentional and our group.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
I had 12 people who started with me.
Six of them dropped out.
We had six people who stuckwith Just being intentional, to
talk about, like they called me,the budget saving mama.
I love it.
How many kids did you have atthis point?
Four, Four girls.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Wow yeah.
The fact that you're doing allof this, working full time then,
weekends and nights in thecommunity building this
challenge.
I mean, did you ever sleep?
Cause it doesn't sound like.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, yes, I listen.
So my boss at Columbia businessschool would always say if you
want something done, give it tosomebody busy, right?
So, like moms, for whateverreason, we have this and I
definitely credit Jesus with itbecause this I have a
supernatural ability to manage alot of things at one time.
(31:55):
Now, full transparency, thatdoes not mean that everything is
being done at 100, right, butit's being done.
And I give myself that grace toknow like it's not always going
to get done at 100, but it'sgoing to get done.
So I still didn't have abusiness yet, still just doing
all these fun things gettingpicked up by media.
(32:15):
My social media is growing andI'm like oh, and to me I was
like I don't need this to be abusiness, I make six figures at
work.
I don't need the money, I justI love to do it.
And I didn't want to take onthe responsibility of a business
.
And of course, so many peopleare like well, you know, you
have something here, this canbecome an income stream for you.
And I was like and then I hadsome friends.
(32:40):
So some of my like financefriends were doing the same
thing and we were all growingtogether.
Everybody's social media isbubbling, everybody's getting
picked up by media.
They're plugging me becausethey've got things that they
need to do and they can't go toall their media appearances.
And I'm like, okay, I'm going tomake this into a business now,
(33:02):
because now they're making money, right.
And I'm like, huh, I just, Ijust still love this to to do
this.
Wait, what, how much did youmake?
What, what?
But that actually it didn'twork out for me the first time I
tried to make it a business.
So I kind of walked away fromteaching finance for five years.
(33:24):
Yeah, God was like, no, you'regoing to put this down, you're
going to go focus on being a mom.
I didn't work for almost fouryears at all.
I just stayed at home, was amom cooking, baking cookies?
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Like okay, you went from all the things to just a
mom, a full-time job and some byitself.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Yeah, yeah.
And by then I think I had fivekids by then.
So I was like you know, it'll,it'll.
I didn't think.
I honestly didn't think I wasgoing to teach finance ever
again.
You know, I was like this is itwas great, I had a great run.
It came with a lot of notoriety, not really much money, but I
served a lot of people, I helpeda lot of people.
(34:08):
I started teaching onlinebecause, probably between 2010
and 2015,.
Online space started becomingreally big, so I started
teaching in the online space.
I would do some group classesand then I walked away.
So 2016 to 2021, I didn't doanything with finance.
And then, 2021, I got a callfrom Essence Magazine and they
(34:34):
were like hey, we'd like you tocome to Atlanta and talk to
girls about what you knew aboutmoney in your twenties.
And I was like where did youfind me?
I don't even have a website.
Like That'll be my nextquestion.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
Oh, don next question .
I asked her that at dinner.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Yeah, I was like where'd you get my number, you
know?
And somehow they saw somethings because I still had
articles, I had writing credits,so I still had articles that
were still online and somehowthis girl connected with another
girl who knew me personally.
That girl called me and waslike hey, essence wants to talk
to you.
I was like what?
And they want to pay you?
(35:09):
And I was like okay, okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
I'll fill that conversation.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
I guess I can make time for Essence, no big deal.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Yes, yeah, and I had never worked with them before
and they were someone that I didwant to work with and I was
like, absolutely yes.
And I went back to God and Iwas like, wait, so I get, do I
get to go back, like, and makethis a business for real?
And it's been since 2021,really back in business, yeah,
(35:41):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I think you were gonna say something no, I just
love the idea that when you weretalking about when even though
it didn't work out the firsttime the people that you were
surrounded with, you guys, wereall helping each other and that
is not a competition.
It's not like only one personcan succeed there is enough
space for everyone to succeed,and you look at it, instead of
(36:03):
from a competition standpoint,as a collaboration.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Oh yeah, so that I have to give all the credit to
that, to Tiffany Aliche, thebudget Nista.
I met her Tiffany is fantastic.
The first time I met her.
That is one of the things shesaid to me and it stuck with me
from then.
So she and I both startedteaching personal finance the
same year and she would alwayssay don't compete, collaborate.
(36:28):
And so she and I have beenfeatured together.
We've done together.
I've taught classes for herLive Richer Academy.
She's always been phenomenal.
Her.
Tanya Rapley from MyFab Finance,marsha Barnes from the Finance
Bar those are my girls.
When I have an issue in thepersonal finance creator space,
that's my crew.
(36:48):
Hey guys, okay, I don't knowwhat to charge.
What do I do about this?
How do I negotiate this?
They are my crew.
And there's another girl, sandy.
She doesn't do as much as sheused to, but she had created
this group called Colorful Moneyand it was a group of us
(37:12):
finance creators of colorminorities, women and men, and
she made it that we could havethis space to share.
Like, hey, you're working withForbes.
I did an article with Forbes.
Here's how much I charge them.
It was just an open space wherewe could talk about
opportunities shareopportunities.
Talk about opportunities shareopportunities group evolved and
it's now called Elevate Money.
But that was, that was myfoundation.
Like we were all of us wererunning around doing all types
(37:35):
of great things and helping eachother.
Like Cara frugal feminista,she's one of like she had put me
on to so many opportunities.
Like, oh, I can't do this oneor I'm not available for that,
can you take it?
Can you take it?
So, yeah, that that squad, likehaving that squad behind you,
and I feel like in the personalfinance space in general, there
(37:56):
is more than enough people inthe world who need help that we
don't have to compete Right.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
You know, well, I even think about that when it
comes to, like, real estateagents and real estate investors
.
And you've got all these showsabout.
You know who's buying these $32million penthouses in Miami and
at the beach in California andall.
And it's like we have all theseshows and, yes, they're
competing, but there's stillenough space, you know.
So then you look at somethingas not fun and sexy as finance
(38:28):
and it makes so much sense forus to be working together and
collaborating and doing podcastswaps, and you know especially
what you mentioned about.
Well, how much did you chargeForbes and how much did that?
Those conversations need tohappen across all the fields.
You know, like hey, if I'mleaving a position and I'm
referring a friend to thatposition, here's how much I made
(38:50):
.
You should ask for 10% more.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
You know like that's 100%.
Yes, that's 100% what needs tobe happening, underestimate and
undershoot a lot of things andundershare.
If we were sharing more, wecould you know and share If we
were sharing more we could, youknow, solve these problems for
ourselves.
Because we know Chad is goingto always ask for more than he's
worth.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Chad and Trevor are asking.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
No offense to anybody named Chad or Trevor out there.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
You know so.
Real estate, though, is adifferent beast.
Right Like, I think, in thepersonal finance space, you can
share and collaborate, and notcompete, because there are
literally millions of people whodon't know what they're doing
with their money, and they workevery day.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
And high earners now right, High earners that are
living paycheck to paycheck.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
We see the articles constantly because making money
and managing money are twocompletely different things.
Yeah, real estate differentballgame.
Real estate is a shark tank.
It is a shark tank and it wasgood for me because I worked for
an owner and I had theexclusive on everything that she
rented or sold.
When you don't have that andyou are clawing with the agent
(39:59):
next to you trying to sell apiece of property, no, it is to
the death in real estate.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
That's a whole different ballgame.
I don't want to be part of that.
No, I don't want to be part ofthat.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
That's why I gave up my license after I stopped
working for her, because I waslike I'm not going into that
piranha pool, absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Yeah, cause I mean even within, like you know, as a
financial, a financial planner.
Yeah, it's a lot.
Yeah, because I mean evenwithin.
Like you know, as a financialfinancial planner, I'm not
necessarily competing with otherfinancial planners for clients,
because you, each person canresonate differently with a
different financial advisor,like we can do all the same
information and everything likethat, but our personalities are
different, our approach topersonal finance is different.
So it's like hey, if you don'tresonate with me, then it you
(40:41):
might resonate with somebodyelse.
So it's not really acompetition.
It's do we?
Hey, if you don't resonate withme, then you might resonate
with somebody else.
So it's not really acompetition.
It's do we match?
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Right Both ways on both sides and people don't
understand how important that is.
Because I like I bring on.
So I like Financial LiteracyMonth.
I do a live series and I bringon guests and people are always
curious why I bring on otherfinancial coaches, because I'm
not everybody's coach.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Right, like you may resonate with this person more
than you resonate with me, greatthat you're here, but if you
resonate with this person, gowork with them, yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
That's literally the first thing I say is you know,
if I'm meeting with a new, youknow, prospect, potential client
, I'm like if for any reasonthere's any hesitation in your
trust towards me, or justwhatever, the vibe isn't right,
I'm not your person.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Yeah, and that's okay , because also trying to force.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
It is not going to be the best use of your time or my
time.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Yeah, especially because finance is so intimate,
jess, I heard you saying thatbecause you have to get into
people's business and really,like you, have to be honest with
me about how you're spendingyour money and what your own
barriers are with yourself.
If we don't match personalitywise, it's not going to work
Right and there's such a.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
You know, people I mean people's money is personal,
but there's also so much, somuch shame and trauma and oh, I
did this wrong.
They're going to judge me and Idid this wrong.
And you know, and it's like ifyou can't get over that hump,
which is your personal hump toget over, you're not going to
click with anybody because youreally have to go into any kind
(42:14):
of coaching, financial planning,anything you know.
heck, even getting lifeinsurance.
Hey, brandon's going to seesomething that maybe your
closest friends don't see Right,and he's he tells people that
upfront.
Hey, when I get your your fileback, I will see things that
maybe your parents don't evenknow about you.
I just want you to know, youknow.
(42:34):
I mean it's a very personal andintimate relationship, and
there's people I know that, youknow.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
when I get that back, it shows that they you know
they had one or two miscarriagesand as a person I know them
outside of this relationship.
I didn't know that.
So that's why I always prefaceI was like it before we get into
this.
Like you know, there might bethings that you didn't tell me.
Just want to let you knowbeforehand.
I don't see it.
I'm going to see it.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Yeah, I think what you just said too, about that
personal relationship I think isreally important.
So I do want to pivot into thework that you're doing now,
because you are focused onfinances in the biblical way,
which is, I mean, a very nicheway to look at money and then
correct me if I'm wrong, but Ithink you also only work with
(43:17):
women at this point, right.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
So I'll work with both women and men.
Majority of my clients arewomen.
It's funny because the majorityof my like consultation calls
are with men, but my studentsare women.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
So the men call to see what it's all about, and
then the women actually sign up.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Well, the men call because they've got questions
they like either especially whenI was more focused on real
estate and how to buy a primaryhome or how to really get
started in the real estate as aninvestor majority of my calls
were my consultation calls, weremen.
Even now, recently, I've gottena lot of men who are like my
(43:58):
grandmother passed away and sheleft me this house and I want to
.
I want to make it an asset.
You know what do I need to do?
So, yeah.
So biblical finance, okay.
So I've taught personal financefor many years.
It was never from a biblicalstandpoint.
2024 is the first year thatI've really gone full fledged
(44:18):
into biblical finance, partiallybecause when you look at every
financial principle, you cantrace almost every financial
principle a coach teaches backto the Bible, and that's from
budgeting, money management,investing, diversifying your
investments, not letting moneyhave a control over you, using
(44:42):
it well to grow your community,to leave an inheritance for your
children.
All of that is biblical.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Paying your debts.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Paying your debts, being a good lender for others.
So for me, I was like you knowwhat God?
I want to highlight you I wantto show, and so two parts.
One, every financial principlegoes back to the Bible in some
way shape or form.
And two, jesus is a way betterfinancial coach than I'll ever.
Be Right, Because while I canteach anyone how to set up a
(45:13):
budget, I can teach anyone howto manage money If they're a
good student, and I can teachthem how to get out of debt.
I cannot do anythingsupernatural in your finances.
So I can't make you go underthe dresser and find a check
that you somehow lost for $1,500.
I can't do that, right.
I can't give you favor withyour creditor where the creditor
(45:37):
is telling you no, you need topay me in full or I'm reporting
this to your credit report, andthen the next time you call,
they're like you know what,we're going to give you a
payment arrangement and we'regoing to make it affordable.
I can't do that, but God can.
So let me give him his propercredit and tell people about
this additional resource infinance that has nothing to do
(45:58):
with money but will improve yourmoney relationship for sure.
So started teaching personalfinance with biblical concepts
this year.
Really, once a week I was likeI'm going to do a post on a
financial principle that relatesback to the Bible.
And in March I kind of was likeGod, what do you want me to do
with this?
This is not getting really alot of attention.
(46:19):
No one's really payingattention.
If this is what you want me tokeep doing, like I was doing
fine teaching finance just byitself.
And I said that before I made apost on a Sunday and that post
went to 2 million people and Iwas like, okay, jesus has spoken
, keep going.
Here we go, yeah, and I love itbecause it's such a.
(46:43):
I did not realize how manypeople wanted to know what God
had to say about money and itreally is different than what I
would teach without the Bible.
It comes to God and money.
(47:05):
It's really about your heartfirst, not the dollars.
But when you adjust your heartnow, how you use the dollars is
going to change.
That's so interesting.
Speaker 3 (47:10):
I know that when we were at dinner I asked you a
question about tithing which Ithink can be.
obviously it's highly personaland people have their own ideas
around it.
But I really liked what yousaid about the three different
ways to tithe and of course youpulled it back into why the
tithe exists and why the 10% andwhere that 10% came from.
(47:30):
But my question around tithingfor today's episode is centered
around the people who aretithing 10%, let's say, you know
, because that's kind of thestandard number that's thrown
out.
So people who are tithing 10%but are in debt and could use
their tithing money to get outof debt.
(47:52):
So if they, you know,substituted tithing with, maybe
community service of some sortfor a period of time, instead of
giving monetarily, they couldgive up their time to help
eliminate their debt but choosenot to because of whatever sort
of guilt or thoughts they havearound tithing.
So I'd love to know yourthoughts on on tithing and
(48:16):
finances, for if you've everworked with somebody that's like
, well, I have to tithe.
I can't stop.
Even if you've shown them thenumbers to say, hey, if you stop
tithing for six months, you'llbe debt free, versus if you keep
tithing, it's going to take 18months, right?
So we'd just love to know yourtake on that.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
Yeah.
So I do not.
One thing I'll say upfront I donot recommend anyone stop
tithing if they're committed toit right.
Because here's the thingtithing is a principle of the
Bible that's heart based.
It's not obligation orcompulsion.
At this point, right In the OldTestament, you had to tithe by
law, but people were tithing bylaw and their heart wasn't
(48:55):
committed.
The principle of tithing startedbefore the law.
So in Genesis we see Abrahamgive Mekezildek a tithe of 10%,
and then we also see Jacob giveGod a tithe of 10%.
Both of those tithes existedbefore the Mosaic law was even
created.
So the principle of giving Goda 10th of what you receive, we
(49:18):
have to remember one.
Everything we have is hisanyway.
He's giving it to us on loan.
As stewards we have to.
Then, in honor of him, we cangive 10% back to him.
If you don't feel connected tothe tithe, you don't have to do
it.
But for those who do feelconnected to it, to tell them to
stop to pay off debt eventhough the numbers financially
(49:41):
work, it would be a violation oftheir conscience.
And now I'm causing them to sin, and so I can't put someone in
a position to violate theirconscience and sin against their
God when they've made acommitment, even if that
commitment looks like on paperthat financially it's hurting
them.
So have I had clients who saythey are not cutting, they're
(50:04):
not reducing their tithingAbsolutely.
I've had others who have chosenof their own free will to do it
right, and then they supplementtheir tithe with time and
talent.
Right, Because tithe can befinancial.
You can give a tithe oftreasure, a tithe of talent and
a tide of time and really, as abeliever, you're supposed to do
(50:25):
all three.
Right.
But if you're in a positionwhere you can't do all three
maybe because if you just gavemoney and not time and talent,
you're still not being afull-fledged, functioning
believer right, we're supposedto do all three.
So I could look at it fromeither standpoint.
If you're giving the money butyou're not given time and talent
(50:46):
, you still not.
There's still work for you todo in your relationship with God
, one on one.
Those who are and we have tounderstand right, like those who
understand the principle oftithing and commit to it from a
heart perspective because theywant to honor the principle even
when their finances are not ina good place, they will see a
(51:06):
breakthrough financially at somepoint in their journey because
of that commitment they've made.
There's an honor that comes toGod when you tithe and in the
repayment for your honor, heallows you to have unexpected
blessings, unexpected windfalls.
You to have unexpectedblessings, unexpected windfalls.
I have my own personal testimonywith that of like going to New
(51:27):
York to go sell a house that Iknew I wasn't going to make any
money off of Walking away fromthe closing, going to see my
mother-in-law and her being likehey, you've got some mail here.
I open up the mail it's a check, a refund from my mortgage
company.
Oh, we messed up, weovercharged you.
Here you go, you know, eventhough I walked away from the
(51:48):
closing with zero.
So he will show up in differentways when you can.
That's why I was saying, likebiblical finance is about the
heart, it's about not feelingtied to money in a way.
So when you're able to let go,God is able to give you in other
ways.
So like I sold a house for amillion dollars and did not make
a dollar, Right, Totally didnot make a dollar, and that's
(52:11):
his own story.
But then God, Part two of thepodcast, yes, part two.
But God saw that I wasn'tgriping or whining or
complaining about having to walkaway from this closing table
with nothing but my name,because that's what I asked for,
Lord.
Just let me walk away with myname, clear.
Forget about the money.
If I don't make a dollar, Idon't care.
(52:31):
And then he blessed me the sameday with a check from somewhere
else.
That's the posture of biblicalfinance.
It's learning how to managemoney well, yes, absolutely.
Learning how to be a goodinvestor, Absolutely.
But also learning that youdon't have to let money control
you or hold you.
(52:52):
The easier you are to let go ofit, the more you can be blessed
with over time.
Speaker 3 (52:58):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
And I think that even ties back to our previous
conversation about when you'reworking with an advisor who you
to connect with and you matchand they respect that aspect of
you.
You know, I personally wouldn'tconsider myself an extremely
religious person.
I do believe in a higher power,but I've had instances with you
know clients where they weretithing.
(53:19):
I you know, from a mathematicalstandpoint it would make sense
for them to put that moneytowards debt, but that was
important to them.
We're like OK, conversationdone, let's move to the next one
.
Speaker 1 (53:29):
And I think it's OK Me, when I first started
teaching personal finance, I wasvery like no, you got to get
rid of this.
Like you've got to get rid of.
You can't afford Starbucks,Right?
Like when you do the math percapita, you have to make at
least $90,000 a year to affordStarbucks.
You don't make 90,000.
Cut Starbucks from your budget,right?
Like that's how I was teachingand it worked for a lot of
(53:52):
people.
But over time I've realizedlike listen, there are things
people want that they want, andI'm okay with you having your
choices, as long as youunderstand that means you have
to make other choices somewhereelse.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Yeah, 100% yeah, because I don't tell people what
to do.
I show them what it looks likeif they take option A, where it
goes to how long it takes to getthere, or if you take option B,
how long it takes for you toget there and what that looks
like.
You make the decision.
As long as you are comfortablewith it, everything's fine,
because like I said once again,it's not my life.
Speaker 3 (54:27):
Well, but also, when you're uncomfortable with
something, right, if it's like,okay, cut out Starbucks, and
it's like, oh, that's my onepiece of happiness for the day,
well then you're probably notgoing to stick to whatever the
plan is.
Long term, you're going to bemiserable, which, again, it's
just like that diet mentality oflike, oh, you can't have fried
chicken, so all you want is thefried chicken.
And then when you have anopportunity, you're going to
binge the fried chicken.
It's just, it's not a goodcycle you know, so Yep, yep.
Speaker 1 (54:49):
True.
Speaker 3 (54:50):
Lilius, this has been .
I know we need to do a part twoand part three.
First of all, how do you affordberries for your six children?
That's a whole episode initself, but then also, Our kids
inhale strawberries.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
We need to keep up.
I need a raise for the.
Speaker 3 (55:05):
Yeah, if anybody's trying to sell a strawberry farm
, please let us know, because wewill buy it no, we'll invest in
it.
I don't want to tell it but weknow that there's so much more
to this conversation where wecan dig in and pull out all of
your goodness for the people whoare listening, who are like, oh
, lilias could be my.
I resonate with women infinance and the biblical aspect.
Where can our listeners findyou?
Speaker 1 (55:27):
Yes, so they can find me online.
So I'm on Instagram atyourfinancialstylist.
You can also go to my website,which is yourfinancialstylistcom
.
I also have a little bit onTikTok, a little bit.
You're a financial stylist overthere too, perfect, so those are
sort of my main sort of, mymain ones I'm trying to build up
on YouTube.
(55:47):
Actually, I'm going to bestarting a series called pulling
back the curtain because Ithink, like you said, jessica,
how I'm so open and I'm, like,ready to share.
I think it's important as afinance coach to not let you
think everything over here isperfect, right?
So let me pull back the curtainand show you my life behind the
(56:08):
scenes.
I'm not afraid to share,because my biggest thing is
here's the mistakes I've madeI've made every mistake and
here's how I bounce back everytime, right.
So don't be afraid of makingthe mistake, right.
You can always recover with theright attitude, like I just
shared.
I just came back from Europeand I was sharing on Monday,
like how the Euro, beingstronger than the dollar, ran my
(56:30):
pockets Like it's like you'rebleeding money out there, you
know, and I blew my spendingbudget.
Speaker 3 (56:38):
But did you have a fabulous time.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
I did, I had a great time.
I had a great time.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (56:44):
Well, we usually say, well, what's what's one thing
you would leave our audiencewith, but I feel like you just
said it right, like don't beafraid to make the mistakes, but
is there anything that you'dlike to add to that as a final
thought?
Speaker 1 (56:55):
So I posted this today actually, and I think it's
a perfect quote to end with youare only a failure when you
quit, not when you try one moretime.
That is perfect, yeah that isreally nice.
Speaker 3 (57:07):
We are so thankful for this conversation.
Again, stay tuned.
We're gonna have to do a parttwo and part three to dig into
some of these other areas.
We will make sure to tag all ofyour socials and your website.
Definitely can't wait for theYouTube series yeah, pulling
back the curtain because thathonesty and transparency is so
important when it comes to thistopic, because the internet will
(57:30):
have us believing thateveryone's out here walking
around like a millionaire with60 properties living their best
life, and you know that that'snot the reality.
But sometimes looks can bedeceiving.
So we appreciate your honestyand vulnerability and the
journey that you've taken, whichhas been so incredible.
So thank you for being with ustoday, lilius.
Oh, thank you, thank you forhaving me.
(57:50):
Don't forget.
Benjamin Franklin said aninvestment in knowledge pays the
best interest you just got paid.
Until next time.
Thanks for listening to today'sepisode.
We are so glad to have you aspart of our Sugar Daddy
(58:12):
community.
If you learned something today,please remember to subscribe,
rate, review and share thisepisode with your friends,
family and extended network.
Don't forget to connect with uson social media at the sugar
daddy podcast.
You can also email us yourquestions.
You want us to answer for ourpast the sugar segments at the
sugar daddy podcast at gmailcomor leave us a voicemail through
(58:36):
our Instagram.
Speaker 2 (58:37):
Our content is intended to be used, and must be
used, for informationalpurposes only.
It is very important to do yourown analysis before making any
investment, based upon your ownpersonal circumstances.
You should take independentfinancial advice from a licensed
professional in connection withor independently research and
verify any information you findin our podcast and wish to rely
upon, whether for the purpose ofmaking an investment decision
or otherwise.
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