How to Navigate Sibling Conflict with Heart-Based Strategies

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LINKS: 

 JesusHelpMeParent.com

RedeemingTheChaos.com

LaurieChristine.com

INTRO

“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you?” How many of you have said that to your kids before? I know I have!  I would estimate about 95% of conflict and parenting challenges in our household stems from sibling conflict. 

Welcome to Redeeming the Chaos. I’m your host, Laurie Christine. I’m an author, Bible teacher, wife, and mom to four wild, wonderful boys. I would love for you to join me on this adventure of raising courageous warriors for the Kingdom of God.

As moms of young men, we know that fighting among boys often gets very physical. While girls may sulk and hold a grudge for weeks on end, boys tend to explode with big emotions and lash out physically at whichever sibling is nearest to them.  (this is a generality. I’m sure you can tell me stories of your girls who have broken out into fist fights as well)

So, what causes these fights and quarrels? 

If you didn’t pick up on it, this question is a quote from James chapter 4. I’ll read the rest of the passage here:

“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them.”

Does that sound familiar?  Our kids have strong desires. Maybe they want the biggest piece of cake for dessert. Maybe they want the best, squishiest chair for movie night, or the front seat in the minivan. Maybe they want to be treated fairly, maybe they just want to be left alone. (Granted, not all these desires are evil… but often a big desire is the underlying cause of sibling conflict). 

And look what the verse says… you scheme and kill… you are jealous… you fight and wage war… all this in order to get what you want.  Sound familiar? Now, hopefully the conflict in our homes has not escalated  to the point of killing… however, in the book of Matthew Jesus says “hating” someone is just as bad as “murdering them” in our hearts. 

So, how do we deal with the conflict that inevitably arises between siblings? How can we teach our kids to show kindness and love to each other, rather than seeking revenge? 

We have a guest on the show today to help us answer these questions. 

"B.J. Meurer has worked with families for over 25 years as an elementary educator, biblical parenting coach & presenter, and digital course creator. He has coached families with children of all ages and stages facing a wide variety of emotional, mental, and biological challenges and helped them discover and personalize the practical heart-based tools and strategies that bring about positive change in their families. You can find many more of B.J.’s parenting resources and videos at JesusHelpMeParent.com. 

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