Wayne | S1 Ep9 Part3 "Thought We Was Friends" - The Tedcast - A Deep Dive Podcast About The Bear

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:22):
Welcome to our Ted Lasso talk, the Tedcast.
Welcome all Greyhound fans,welcome all you sinners from the
dog track and all the AFCRichmond fans around the world.
It's the Lasso way around theseparts with Coach, coach and
Boss, without further ado, coachCastleton.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Welcome back.
Beautiful people, hello friendsand hello buttercups.
Beautiful people, hello friendsand hello buttercups.
Uh, we are coming today from uh, we are coming at you from a
place where uh, uh coach is uhin absentia.
Um, he is traveling to see his,he's traveling to see his
daughter perform and so justjust, it's just the good boss

(01:00):
and I, um, I am your host, coachcastleton with me, as always,
is um is boss.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
I usually don't, I don't say it that way, usually
so yeah, that's such a wild wayto say coach isn't here.
You used a lot of words to getto I am loquacious, I am verbose
we're coming, we're coming toyou from a place.
Well, I was gonna say I'm gonnastart with well here's.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Here's what it is.
Yeah, we're coming to you froma place of longing and
forgetfulness.
No, the thing is, paz isshaking her head.
She doesn't like anything aboutthis.
She doesn't like the cut of myjib.
She never has.
Jib is bad.
No, we were just talkingoffline.
I said we got to hit record.

(01:42):
I have children home fromcollege.
I'm the father of four.
For those joining us for thefirst time, my oldest he is a
theoretical physicist smartestperson I've ever met in my life
does not function in normalsociety.
I'm not sure he's not an alien,I think he's mine.
But I asked him.

(02:04):
I said I said we're gonna jumpon the podcast.
I want you to vacuum out thecar for me.
He's like cool, he's such agood kid.
He's like okay.
And so I gave.
I brought out the wet, dry vacand the extension cord and then,
as I was making a cup of coffee, he said oh, yeah, it's not
turning on.
And I was like yeah, he's like,yeah, I plugged it in the
extension cord, but he did notcheck the.
I was like what about the, the,uh, the origin and the, the

(02:27):
plug of the extension, the power?
the power source, the businessside of the uh, of the cord, as
it were.
And oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then boss started.
He's also I know where you'regoing with this boss.
I love this because he also,like, looks at me like he's like
when I say, hey, did you makeyour?
He's like.
When I say, hey, did you makeyour bed, he's like okay, so

(02:47):
arbitrarily flatten a warmthimplement.
For what reason?
So that I mess it up?
He's right about that.
Tell me about Craig.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
Oh, I told him I needed to get my car washed and
he said why?

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Craig is who for people joining us for the first
time, craig is the boyfriend.
Yeah, craig is the boyfriend.
Yeah, craig is a boyfriend, myboyfriend.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
No, I don't, at least not to the best of my knowledge
.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
I think mine but I know mine, I don't know for sure
Not yours.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
That would be wild.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
That would be a whole other podcast.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
A whole different thing.
Um, also, when I say theboyfriend we've been dating for
18 years, but no marriage, nokids, no, uh, as, as natalie
main said, ain't no ring, nomortgage.
There are any obligations, um,anyway.
So I was telling him only 18years yeah, only 18 years.
Uh, our, our relationship couldvote is a creepy thing.

(03:43):
That I said to him one time andthen he got mad Wow, uh-huh.
I told him I needed to get mycar washed and he said why?
And I said I'd just beencamping and it was just gross
and you know, muddy and stuff.
And he was like that doesn'tmake any sense.
And I said do you never washyour car?
And he said no and I saidyou've really never washed your

(04:04):
car and he was like I don't know, if I had a car interview maybe
then I would get it, butotherwise, no A car interview,
yeah a car interview.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Like a job interview, but for cars.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
Kind of, but for some reason your car is involved.
If it was like a horse and ponyshow, but with a car he
wouldn't join, he wouldn'tactually get involved in that.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
So it sounds it sounds crazy, but all he's doing
, as the father of of umpteenkids, either on the spectrum or
spectrum adjacent, uh, all he'sdoing is using the transitive
property to throw our ownrationale back at us.
Yes, which which I don't like,I don't appreciate.
Don't be that smart all thetime.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Thank you very much it's kind of my favorite thing,
I um mentioned to it's.
It's really fun.
I mentioned to uh, one of myfriends, that he says things in
very interesting ways.
Uh, for instance, once he toldme that he doesn't like
sourdough bread.
Uh, because it's like aheadache in your throat.
What he actually did was thathe pointed at himself.
He said it gives me a headacheright here, and pointed at his

(05:01):
adam's apple headache.
Um, also over the weekend wewatched dune 2.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Oh, nice, yeah, you paid for it then yeah, I, I
didn't mind that you didn't, youdidn't mind that.
Yeah, we've been really beensuper cheap.
Juliana wants to see it and wego, we look and we're like, oh,
24.99 to rent and 29.9999 to buy.
No, two kids in college?

Speaker 3 (05:25):
No, thank you.
This is why I don't have kids.
No, it's fine, but we watchedit and we were talking about it
afterwards.
I don't love what's his face.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
Timmy Chablis His real name is not that.
I think he's fine, I just Ireally like him.
I'm the other way, I'm theother way, I'm very I'm
defensive about him.
I think he's good and I likehim and I think he gets.
I think he's wafey and so hegets a bad, bad shake gets short
shrift, because he's a littlelittle twinkie kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
I think, yeah, I think, maybe I'm, I feel like
I'm too old for him, like I feellike I I need to put a cap on
him and send him to bed Likehe's very, very small to me.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Okay, I actually have a theory about that.
Okay, so this is the thing Wait, actually finish your story and
then we'll come, because I havea theory about this.

Speaker 3 (06:14):
Well, actually it goes along with what you're
saying, because the boyfriendsaid about him he kind of
reminds me of if Lip Gallagherwas jeremy ellen white from the
bear, he's like uh, if lipgallagher were spiritually vegan
, that's who?
That's who?
Uh, that's timmy chow may isthat's funny and I was like
that's, yeah, that's prettyaccurate.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
That's, that is what it is.
Wait, craig said this yeah,that's good yeah, spiritually
vegan.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Spiritually vegan might tell this.
That is really funny.
I'm not sure what it means, butI really like.
Yeah, spiritually vegan.
Spiritually vegan by itself isfunny to me.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
That is really funny.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
I'm not sure what it means, but I really like it.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Yeah, so that's Timmy .
That's how I feel about him.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
So I think you're tapping into something when you
say you're too old for him orwhatever.
Did you say you're too old?
Is that the?

Speaker 3 (07:00):
word.
I'm too old for him.
Yeah, he's too little.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
I don't want to put words in that no, no, no, no, no
, that's it.
But I know it's like a.
You know it's because what isin vogue generationally changes
as a reaction to what yourparents found.
You know what I mean.
So it's like you know, thethings that Gen X or millennials
may have found attractive hasnow shifted to a different type
of thing.
And then you know, you feel,out of at least I, I'm like,

(07:23):
really Like some of the people,that that are are labeled as
conventionally attractive by adifferent generations.
I'm like, is that, is that trueReally?
So you guys, you all, likecollectively, you've all decided
that that's the huh.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
We're doing.
We're doing handlebar mustaches.
That's what we're doingHandlebar mustaches.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Okay, handlebar mustaches.
That's what we're doing.
Handlebar mustaches, okay.
I mean I guess I don't know ifthat counts.
I think that might be somethingelse.
I don't I've seen.
I just think like the iconic.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
I've seen youngers do it.
I don't know exactly what thatmeans, but I know that they're
younger than me and they havethat facial hair.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
I know that my kids will look at me and be like so
explain toby mcguire, just tryto explain it to me and I go
well, no, it's not like he waslike, uh, he wasn't George
Clooney, but he, you know, hecould command, he could open
films, like he could really goodactor and he's got some range
and you know he can doeverything from.
Pleasantville to Spider-Man andin and and and everything.

(08:21):
Uh, they're in between andthey're like, but like, explain
the pussy posse, or whatever I'mlike oh yeah, no well I can't
explain that?
I'm like I don't know.
No, they're like explainentourage.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
You know, they just start to peel away at things and
I'm like you know what they'reright about that yeah they are
right about that.
They're right about entourage.
Entourage is I don't care forit, um, but yeah, I feel like,
uh, the reason for to for TobeyMaguire was we didn't know about
Jake Gyllenhaal yet, and then,once we got Jake Gyllenhaal, we
just slid him into all of theroles that Tobey Maguire would

(08:53):
ever have for the rest of hislife.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Is that what happened ?

Speaker 3 (08:56):
That's what happened with me.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
That's what happened.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
And Jake Gyllenhaal is still out there doing
Roadhouse 2.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Cutting people off.
He once cut in front of afriend of mine at Le Pan
Quotidien in LA because he wasJake Gyllenhaal and he thinks he
didn't have to wait in line.
One of the things I always likedabout Clint Eastwood is that
when he was directing a film hewould get in line.
You know you have a set andthen everybody has to eat and
you break for lunch and mealsand things like that.

(09:24):
Sometimes it and then everybodyhas to eat and you know you
break for lunch and meals andthings like that.
Sometimes it's dinner,depending on when you're
shooting and generally theassist, the director's assistant
or you know the, the sort ofhigher-ups producers, directors
uh, talent, talent, the a-listtalent are they called above the
line talent generally does noteat and mass with the grips and
the and the cappers and thingsand um.

(09:45):
But one.
One thing I was like about ClintEastwood is I I was never on
set with Clint Eastwood but Iknow I heard that he would just
get in line, like like lunchpail kind of guy and Was it,
didn't feel he was moreimportant.
I think that's great and itsays a lot about his preparation
, because usually those are Likewhen everyone it's also.
Those are like when everyoneit's also.

(10:06):
It's like a luxury on a setwhere you're like, oh, you guys
actually get to eat, because I'mthe director and I'm shitting
blood rewriting a scene as suremy assistant holds out a leaf of
lettuce for me.
To you know what I mean?
That's really what happens onmost, uh, most productions, um,
but yeah, no, I do like the, theeveryman concept, um, I don't
know how we got there.
I've've already ADHD'd to.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
Jake Gyllenhaal cut in front of your friend.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
He cut in line in front of my friend.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
Oh, but who was it that was rude to John Mulaney at
a Lakers game?
It's somebody Me.
No, no, no, no, no, no no.
That was a Saturday Night Livebit from Weekend Update.
Andy Garcia who was rude to meat a Lakers game?
It was.
John Mulaney and Pete Davidsonhad gone to see the Mule and
they were talking about howinsane it was.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
I remember that who was rude?

Speaker 3 (10:53):
to me at a.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Lakers game yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
But anyway, maybe Jake Gyllenhaal didn't realize.
Maybe Jake Gyllenhaal had JohnHamm disease from 30 Rock.
He was in the bubble.
He's only been treated as thebeautiful man that he's been his
entire life.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
He is gorgeous, extremely attractive.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
The opposite of how I feel about Timmy Chablis.
He's neither too small nor tooyoung for me.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
I just think he's a better actor than people give
him credit, for I genuinelythink that have you seen him in
Little Women.
He was good Like he was good.
I still haven't seen LittleWomen and people like him.
And it's like if Flo Pughthinks you're good people, I
think you're good people.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
I don't think.
Listen, this is not the thing.
I think, actually, you knowwhat this is hilarious, stinking
, that one of the things.
Thank you for that, by the way,I was.
Yeah, I meant it.
You've been very stinky inprevious recordings.
That's not how this works,you're smelling something else.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
Gotcha, when did your children come back from college
?
Because you can't blame this onme, it's not them.
I'm alone in a room, it's notthem oh, okay, well, I hate to
say it, I think.

Speaker 3 (11:59):
I think I found the culprit I, I'm pretty sure we
just stumbled on that.
So I was literally just in theshower Thinking that Sometimes
the reason that I come across soabrasive or harsh or brash I
guess Would be the best way ofme Is that Somebody will say

(12:19):
something about somebody, and itis again Craig saying oh, the
Cubs are bad at baseball.
What's wrong with the Cubs thisyear?
Oh, they're bad at baseball,I'm sure.
Oh, the Cubs are bad atbaseball.
What's wrong with the Cubs thisyear?
Oh, they're bad at baseball.
I'm sure they're great people,but they're bad at baseball.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
That's why they're not doing well.
Puts a little limitation ontheir job, yeah right.

Speaker 3 (12:33):
So I'm sure Timmy Chablis is great.
He hangs out with Saoirse Ronanand Florence Pugh and Greta
Gerwig, like I haven't heard anycomplaints about him.
I'm sure I don't care though I.
There's something about himwhere I'm like you're a little
puppet man, you're not entirely,you're not a full grown boy yet

(12:54):
I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Okay, but see, doesn't.
Isn't doesn't it say more aboutyou than Timmy Chablis?

Speaker 3 (13:05):
okay, good, I just want to.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
I want to blame you, because what I'm saying is, like
your perception of what a manshould be might be playing into
the patriarchy is all I'm sayingmight be playing into this an
outdated perception ofmasculinity where there's a
certain weight limit and youknow, people will say I know,
coach, would coach, I thinkcoach?
Well, no, coach would not backme up here because you and it
would be, and me and he wouldjust blindly say whatever you

(13:26):
said was right he's a gutlesscoward.
But I don't know.
Men come in all shapes andsizes and this is one of the
things that we're contendingwith, I think.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
What I like so much is that when we got onto this,
you said we're going to breezeright through the end of Wayne,
and now we're 10 minutes deepand we haven't mentioned the
show once.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
What is this, wayne, that you speak of?

Speaker 3 (13:50):
We'll get to that, but here's the thing.
So I didn't say Timmy Chablisneeds to be more manly or taller
or more mature or have a weightlimit.
I said that's what I like.
I said that is what I prefer Ina man, in a man, in a man, but
it's still my preference.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
Where does it come from?
Who cares?
Is Craig a big strapping?
Is he Popeye?

Speaker 3 (14:14):
No, no, no, no, no.
I mean he was a sailor man, butother than that, no, absolutely
not.

Speaker 2 (14:19):
He was a sailor man, he was in the Navy.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
No, of course, fucking not.
I'm making shit up.
Was he in the?
What did he?
He's never been in the ymca, ohgod, no, he's been in the
country club.
That that should tell yousomething.
All right, so but listen thisis like a hypothetical.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
I just I'm just saying I think this is a very
common refrain when peoplediscuss timothy chalamet.
Now it, when you have an accentaigu or an accent grave, I
always get them wrong.
They're Incas and Aztecs to me.
It's terrible to say, but Ialways forget which one is which
.
But accent grave, whatever itis, doesn't he have, isn't it
Timotei or something like that?
He's got a.

Speaker 3 (14:55):
French, I don't know, I can't call him that.
I will.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
That's fine, timothy, timothy.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
Whatever it is, that's where it has an defeat
quality to it that makes makesit mockable.
And then then you meet him, andhe's 11 pounds ringing wet and
you go.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
Oh man, he's I didn't mock him I said I don't care
for it no, no, no, you didn'tsay, but you intimated right,
his whole thing, his vibe hisvibe is not for me, you would
recast him into a more masculineI would let him do whatever he
wants and I would like if I saidtake every if I said, take
every timothee uh accent grove,uh or aigu uh character or role

(15:37):
and and give it to pabloschreiber, you'd say yes, yes no
, I know I wouldn't say that atall because he, pablo Schreiber,
could not be in Little Women.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
Am I going to watch Halo because Pablo Schreiber is
there?

Speaker 2 (15:48):
yes, I would like to see Master Chief Timmy Chalamet
as Master Chief.
I mean, that was Dune was itnot?

Speaker 3 (15:54):
that was Dune.
That's what it came down to.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
Master Chief with um with vegan sensibility.
What was the thing?

Speaker 3 (16:02):
uh sensibilities.
No vegan spirituality spiritspiritually vegan.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, spiritually vegan, master.
Spiritually vegan.
Surgery is is the heir to houseof treaties.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
I would you like doom to don't don't spoil it for me
no, no, I never spoil, I I didyes did you, I did, I'm not
gonna, I'm I'm not gonna standin line for the third journey,
but it was good.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Okay.
Did you happen to acquire oneof those sex buckets for?

Speaker 3 (16:30):
you and.

Speaker 2 (16:31):
Craig to.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
You know what?
Both of my sisters listen tothis and they're really upset
right now that you said sexbuckets and Craig that closely
to each other in a sentence.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
I'm attracted to them .
I like the sound of the boy.
That's what I'm saying no.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
No, the popcorn buckets that are supposed to be
the sandworms.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah, for those who don't know what the hell Coach
is talking about.
And Coach did me.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
It's rough.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
There's like this yeah, there are these popcorn
buckets with, I mean, I don'teven know how to describe this
there's a hole in the middleit's already said.
It's already said.
I mean, I can't describe itanother way and around the hole,
rimming the hole, as it were,are Wow, I saw you drinking.
I took a shot.
Kit took a shot.
That's the show.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
I saw you with a straw in your mouth and I said,
let's see if I can get a spittake yeah hole are a number of
um uh plastic, plasticine, uhproject projections or there are

(17:32):
little plastic things thatstick out that are supposed to
be the worm's teeth, and thenyou reach your hand in and grab
the popcorn and pull it outthrough the worm mouth and
you're supposed to eat it.
And it doesn't make any fuckingsense, especially because they
already make you put your handin that box.
For the the fear test, youcould have just had a square
shaped popcorn box.
You could have just given themthe fear box filled with popcorn

(17:54):
.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
See, this is like a.
I feel like it's people didn'tsee crawl.
Have you ever seen crawl?
No, no, no, it's not crawl,sorry.
No, no, it's not Krull, sorry.

Speaker 3 (18:03):
Wait, is it Krull?
I don't know, I don't know it's.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
Krull or Flash Gordon .
I think it's Flash Gordon Onceupon a time these are old movies
and no one remembers them,movies from my childhood but
there was a thing which is likea test of manhood I think it was
manhood or worthiness, somekind of thing You'd have to
stick your head, not your wholearm, into this stump and had all
these different holes and therewas supposedly some sort of

(18:26):
creature, venomous creature, inthe middle and if you pick the
wrong hole to stick your arm in,I boy phrasing's um, yeah, out
the window, but um, you wouldthen be bitten and if you pulled
out in your hand, you pull,you'd retract your arm and go,
ah, and then someone would theguard or whoever pull out his
sword and then and then put youkill you immediately because it

(18:48):
would be a fate.
You know that would be asympathy to and um, can't
believe I'm getting krull andflash gordon.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
I yeah, I'm also.
I don't understand this testwhatsoever.
This is like hey, pick a hole,either you'll die or you're a
man that, if anything, that Imean, you just summed up a lot
of things us that just I don't.
We'll need to go back and watchit, I will tell you for sure.
Um, I don't think I've seenflash gordon.

(19:17):
I definitely have heard aboutit.
I think that one time my dadtold me something about that
movie and also buckaroo bonsaiand the fifth dimension, yeah he
loved that movie and I watchedit once and it's straight trash
yeah it is I.
I am so angry that he is deadbecause I want to yell at him
about what a stupid fuckingmovie that was and why would you

(19:39):
watch it and also, why wouldyou ever tell anybody to watch
it?

Speaker 2 (19:42):
it's extremely bad there's a lot of movies like
that and they're so formativewhen you're young.
Buckaroo Bonsai, one of myfriends, really loved it.
I don't know if I've ever seenit or if I tried it and didn't
get through.
I don't remember.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
It has a bunch of people that like it.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
And he still quotes it to this day.
But there's movies like the IcePirates pirates have you ever
seen?

Speaker 3 (20:06):
the ice pirates?
No, or um you never seen theice pirates?
Wow, damn, go figure.
Well, I was like really,excited.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, yeah, so good, it's so good.
Gregory hines um.
And then there was another oneum young frankenstein, not young
frankenstein not young,everybody's seen you?
No, that's not it.
It was another one.
Um, I can't think of it now, um, anyway, but uh, yeah, there
are these formative films and,uh, when you grow up in a world
that has four televisionchannels, uh, not all of which

(20:30):
are in color, um, as as was thecase when I was, what they were,
but we didn't have a right, wedidn't have a.
We did not own a colortelevision.
Uh, it was big time when we gota color television and you had
to get up and change the dialand the knob.
So you know, if you saw a filmlike that, it was, it was like

(20:51):
it was no joke.

Speaker 3 (20:52):
So yeah, it's better to be alive now.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
They get their hooks in you.
This is a great time to bealive.
Lest anyone forget, this is a I.
I never stop reminding peoplethat when we were growing up or
you know, once upon a time youwould have, you would say like
someday you'll be able to watchanything from your house, and
people like, yeah, yeah, yeahright, like go fuck yourself,

(21:15):
that's not gonna happen.
And now you really can and it'sall right at your fingertips
and uh are all.
That's why people like me,collect obscure DVDs where I'm
like.
We talked about this.
If I lose this it'll be hurtful.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
And then I would need to find a working DVR, a DVD
player.
I mean, yeah, foxy, this is thething I'm so.
Dvd players are so far behindin technology that I already was
replacing it with a different,already now default technology.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
Yeah, our editor, our esteemed editor, luke Morey,
who is a goddamn peach, Ibelieve.
He collects laser discs.
Oh.
Yeah, I believe Luke cancorrect me if I'm wrong, luke,
once you listen to this, but Ithink he has a LaserDisc
collection, which is like havinga Betamax collection, but

(22:14):
better.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
An 8-track?

Speaker 2 (22:16):
Yeah, something like that.
Right, yeah, it's oldtechnology Like Coach.
By the way, I was thinkingabout Coach not being here.
All technology Like Coach.
By the way, I was thinkingabout Coach not being here.
All technology Coach is.
The goal was for Coach Bishop.
For those of you who follow thepodcast, you remember the

(22:37):
beloved Coach Bishop.
He ADHD'd.
And ADHD is funny, the way itworks works because he's so safe
here.
He knows he doesn't have toprioritize us, like we'll just
love him, no matter what.
But he's like you know we haveto record in like eight minutes.
He's like oh shit, I'm in, I'min.

Speaker 3 (22:58):
I'm in New York.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Oh, oh, is that right , coach, cause we were going to
do part two of the rap battlething.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
Nope.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
We're sure not.
Yeah, I've been listening tothe rap.
For those of you who did notlisten to the last episode,
coach broke down this rap battlebetween Kendrick Lamar and
Drake Absolutely fascinating.
It has been doing great and andpeople love his, his take on it

(23:28):
.
Um, I love the song, not likeus, uh, the one he turned us.
Well, he talked about severalof them, but that one is good.
But here's the thing once upon atime, I was a what I like to
call a bigot and uh, just right,no, not really, but raised in a
world where I was not aware ofmy own racism or misogyny or

(23:49):
whatever.
I'm still.
I'm still.
It's a constant uh fight toalways, uh, be mindful of all
that stuff and um.
But but there was this thingthat happened with me and coach
where we were talking and Iremember it was like probably
for a few years ago anyway, and,and for those of you that heard
the last episode, when he'slike, oh, I'm sorry, I just got

(24:10):
to say this word and I'm like myheart stopped.
I'm like, oh, like a certainword that you know is a racial
slur.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
I think I think you're allowed to say the N word
.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
You can't say the N word, but you can say the N word
.
Ok, now listen, this is I'mglad you said that this is good,
this is perfect.
So coach said that on the lastepisode.
He's like I got I don't knowhow to get around this, but I
don't know.
But we, I just got it, it's inthe song, I got it, you know,
I'm fine, I'm fine with himdoing that.
Um, but there was this thingthat happened with him and I,
where he's like you know, knowwhat man, like I had said what

(24:43):
you just said, that term and he,he, he, dis, uh, what's the
word?
Disabused me of the notion thatthat was also clean.
Oh, sure, and it's like it's a,it is a mechanism for people to
be able to say it withoutsaying it.
And he's like I would like youto not say it, okay, as me, just

(25:04):
me.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
He's like.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
I can't control what other people do, but you are my
lover and my um.
No, we're not lovers, but he'slike you're.
You and I are like brothers andI it bugs me when people say it
.
It bugs me when people say theterm and I'll say it for this
and he'll forgive me the n-word.

(25:26):
People said the n-word.
He's like it's.
Just because we all know whatyou're saying when you say it
and I don't like it.
Yeah, and I think it's a cheat.
So you'll notice I haven't saidit on this podcast.
I don't say it.
I generally don't say.
I just said it now, but coachwill forgive me.
Um and um, and so I've done apretty good job of like,
navigating my way around thatand trying to be respectful.
Um, if, if, for no other reasonthan my connection to one of

(25:48):
the greatest people on theplanet.
Um and um, that coach bishop Imean, uh, also you boss, but I
was speaking about coach bishopin that case.
Um, and.
But now I'm in love with thissong that I'm playing on a loop
where that word is where thereal word is, is, in the song,
featured very prominently, andso when I'm singing it in my

(26:09):
head, I'm, I'm like oh, it'sthis torturous thing where I'm
like I can't, I, I don't likethat.
I'm um, you know that I'm justkind of, and it's fine, it's not
what is, it's not the end ofthe world, I'm not doing, I'm
not harming anybody, but I'velike conditioned myself to sort
of just not have that word in mylife, kind of thing.
So it's just, it's been thisweird.

(26:30):
It's just weird.
It's weird for me.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah, I mean I, I would actually be interested in
talking to coach on that, onlybecause, you know, one of the
things that we talked about onone of the episodes of this show
is that, uh, the terms moronand idiot and I can't remember
the other one, but those wereused to be, so I think so maybe

(26:53):
something like that.
It used to be a term for, uh,different levels or severities
of developmental delays, right,and then, of course, there
started.
We moved past that, supposedly,and we were like, oh, we're
gonna use, and we call it the rword, which I don't like either,
but like I'm also not going tosay that word.

(27:15):
So like, yeah, I.
I think that this is, uh, anongoing problem with language is
that there are terms that areused in order to discuss a thing
where you don't want to use theterm itself because of how
offensive it is, but then thething that was the term for the
word becomes the thing that nowwe don't say.

(27:36):
Like I said moron, becausethat's somehow been, uh,
integrated into society enoughthat it feels like there's some
distance, but I'm not going tosay the R word because that's
still so close that it's like,oh, no, no, no, that one is
still not okay.
So I would really be interestedin hearing what he has to say
on how that should be referredto, because if we said like, oh,

(27:59):
it's that word, eventually thatword is going to replace
whatever it was that we weretrying to not use because of how
bad it is.
So I'm not saying I willabsolutely respect whatever he
says.
I would like to hear more aboutthat from him.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
Intent has a lot to do with it.
So I forgive myself.
I know I'm not.
I know what I'm trying to do.
I'm not Right, right right.
There's no ill intent on mypart.
So you have to be realisticabout what, um, you know what
you're really.
I mean, let's not go overboard.
But when you're, when you'rejust conditioned in a certain
way, you're like, yeah, I'm not,I'm not gonna I'm not telling,
I incorporated my world.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
But then it pops up in the slack this is, and you're
singing it in your head.
You're like yeah and you'relike oh jesus, I'm not saying,
I'm not even saying it out loud,it's just in my head that I'm
bopping to and so whatever, butyeah no, no, yeah, no, I've been
there before, it's just strange, that's all.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
It's just a strange feeling.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
Well, it's especially weird for me.
I cannot pretend that I'm a rapfan at all.
I do really like Megan TheeStallion.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Megan.

Speaker 3 (29:03):
Thee Stallion, megan Thee Stallion, megan Thee
Stallion.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
I like Megan Thee.
Pegasus.
I thought it was Thee.
I like all the Megans.
I like all of them.
I like every, whatever they allare.

Speaker 3 (29:18):
Not the one from Fox, whatever her name is, I forget
her.
The song Body, I fucking loveit.
I fucking love it so bad um.
And she says some shit in therethat like I I say the worst
shit, including up into andincluding my mother, like I'll
say disgusting things.
And one time I was like there'sa song.

(29:39):
I can't tell you what it meansor what it's about, or anything.
It was wop and I was like I'mnot telling you what it means or
what it's about, or anything.
It was wop and I was like I'mnot telling you what that means.
I can't wap, I'm not, I'm notfilling you in on that if you
want to, you can go look it up.
Yes, I'm not doing that anyway,but body like she says the
wildest shit in there, uh, abouthow if she were herself, if she

(30:00):
were not her, she would try totake herself home and go down on
herself.
She was like I'm so hot, if Isaw me I'd try to fuck me, I
would.
She says all this shit and I'mlike this is vile and disgusting
and amazing and I love it.
And then sometimes the, theword comes in and I like I need
my brain to shut down when it'slike I can't sing along with
that.
I have not even mentally.

(30:21):
I gotta be like yeah, yeah,like I, I would have taken
myself home, love me long.
And then, and then the wordcomes up and I'm like nope, that
, that's not it.
I can't do that we, uh, we have.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
We have a unbelievable knack for
oppressing uh feminine sexualityand, um, god forbid, women have
uh desires.
I, I really want a quantumcomputer to tell us all that
we've lost by repressing women'ssexuality.
You know, I want like agraphical readout, like a
display, to be like okay, here'swhere you guys fucked up by
doing this, you screwed yourselfout of.

(30:56):
I just want to see the graph,the whole chart.
You know, because we're so goodat it as a culture, you know,
we're just like give me a break,it's well, and it's not.

Speaker 3 (31:04):
As a culture, you know, we're just like give me a
break, it's like I I god knowswe can't get down this entire
road because it'll take forfucking ever.
But especially when like duringthe sort of beginning of me too
when harvey weinstein and mattlauer and louis ck and kevin
spacey and a few other peoplewere like supposedly taken down

(31:25):
as if this were, uh, you know, amob mentality, going after some
poor innocent man just becausehe was trying to do his job,
instead of the naturalconsequences of their own
actions.
That's fine, fucking fine,whatever.
There were specifically fivewomen who louis ck had assaulted
by masturbating in front ofthem, even though they said no,

(31:46):
and that's not like the extentof what he did.
There's also a whole bunch of,like workplace sexual harassment
he did, but like in a positionof power, he took advantage of
people fucking sucks, um, butpeople were like man.
Well, now we're not going to getany more of his comedy like now
.
Now we've lost everything thathe might have done over the next
20 or 30 years, and I'm likethere are five women who said
that they quit show businessbecause of what he did.

(32:08):
There are five careers that wedon't have access to because of
how we handle this shit.
So if we're actually going toplay this fucking game where
we're like oh, maybe he hadanother great album in it.
Well, maybe they outed it.
Maybe they had 20 great albums.
Yeah for sure, yeah, so yeah.
Maybe they held it.
Maybe they had 20 great albumsyeah for sure, yeah, so yeah.
It's everything.
It's a whole fucking world.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
We're going to change the topic.
I get really pissed off aboutthis.
Like I remember readingsomething it wasn't Louis CK,
but it was something about someguy or where it was like, okay,
I don't even want to say I'mgetting so mad.
It's like when it's like whenwe talk about that dude sipping
out of the ladle at what was it?
A Whole Foods?
He's just drinking out of theterrine and how it makes me

(32:51):
literally crazy.
And this is all because I alwaystalk about you say, oh, you
feel comfortable if you feelsafe when you know what the
rules of engagement are.
And with somebody like me,where the rules might fluctuate,
it feels unsafe.
Um, and and I say, oh well,with that I can identify the
rule.
That's why I feel so stronglyabout it.
Um, but there was something I Idon't even know, read or heard

(33:13):
anecdotally about like asomebody controlling like a mic
at a at a comedy, and I'm surethis is I'm saying is if, oh,
this one time, no, I'm sure it'severy comedy club over the
years but it was like some manwho controlled access to the mic
and who wanted to get up therewould have to perform sexual
acts on him to get up there andI was like you know what I want

(33:35):
to?
I go crazy.
It makes me.
I'm like how does that guy goto bed at night?
How does he, after doing to oneperson you know what I mean
like as if this, thistransactional, was just what you
got to do, like I'm like you're, you're vile, you know you're
vile.
So, anyway, I don't want to, Idon't want to bring everybody
down, but it makes me crazy.

(33:57):
So, yes, um, let's not think ofthe fucking assholes who
destroyed other lives.
Let's think of, uh, what mighthave been for the, for the
people who had it taken awayfrom them yes, yeah, and god, we
do need to change the subject.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
We've already talked about it too much.
We can't go that much further.
But yeah, it's um.
Somebody at one point saidsomething on twitter.
I, I'm sure, said somethingabout like well, if feminists
want sex work legalized, what'sthe problem with demanding that
your secretary have sex with you?
And I'm like, because youdidn't hire a secretary In that

(34:35):
case, you didn't hire a sexworker.
You hired a secretary.
It's the same reason I wouldn'thire a plumber to do my taxes,
because that's not the fuckingjob, because even in your
terrible analogy, you don'tunderstand what a job is.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Everyone's so crazy.
Everyone's so crazy.
Now they're so crazy.
I remember all the stuff aboutthe politicians.
The beer test yeah, no, he's apolitician, but would I want to
have a beer with him.
I'm like, do you use that foryour plumber or for your like
your accountant?

Speaker 3 (35:08):
like what?

Speaker 2 (35:09):
yeah, are you like well, I, this guy is the number
one brain surgeon in the country, but I don't want to hang out
with him, so I don't know, Idon't know about that there are
some politicians and I'm notgoing to mention any names
because I don't want to get evenmore angry, but I'm like, start
to go down the list of jobs youpersonally hold in less esteem,
like whatever you.
Some people say, oh, I don'thave a high opinion of whatever.

(35:29):
Someone who runs a laundromat,let's say all right, all right.
Or I don't have a high opinionof.
Uh, I'm making stuff, I'm not.
I'm not disparaging anybody,but someone might say, oh, I
don't think if you work at atoll booth, that's whatever,
right.
And then go down some of thesepoliticians that run for office
right now go.
Could that person do that job?
Could this person be a tollbooth operator?

(35:51):
Could that person run alaundromat day-to-day, taking
care of customers, emptyingquarters or whatever it is these
days?
Right, you go.
I'm just like I don't.
What are the state?
Anyway?
It makes me people are so it'sit.
The only people that the onlypeople that get it are, are our
listeners and the buttercups,that's it.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
Oh yeah, no, that's good, we have all the good
people here.
Good thing we're tamping downthat tribalism.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yeah right it's not us versus them.
No, no, listen, there's hope,but sometimes, dear God.
I want to take a second to saythank you Before we start into
Wayne.
I got the loveliest email and Ijust want to read it because I

(36:38):
just love this person.
I've said many, many times weask people to subscribe because
this is a loss.
We don't make any money.
We've never made any money.
We've never.
We've been doing this for years.
Boss, how much have I paid youover the years, me?
Yeah, how much have I, as theshow creator, paid you?

Speaker 3 (37:01):
in money.
Yeah, yeah, I'm trying toemphasize how much is, how much
have?
You made off the you um, I, Igot, I got a t-shirt, I got the
jerseys that we're wearing.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
That is true, yes, no , you got that from coach.
He paid.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
I got that from coach yeah, um you, you have sent me
presents, does that?

Speaker 2 (37:18):
count.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
I love you, so yes, but no, it does not, that does
not paid me in?

Speaker 2 (37:23):
No, no, you paid me in tea towels, no.
So my point is coach hasn'tmade a dime.
I have lost thousands andthousands of dollars Thousands,
like it's not hundreds.
It is thousands of dollars torun a podcast.
You think, wait, what are youpaying for?
But you wouldn't believe whatyou pay for.
It's crazy, if you want to havea podcast and and you want to

(37:50):
make sure everything's doneproperly and you have a ACE
editor like the great, greatLuke, um, you, you pay and um,
uh, so every once in a whileyou'll get an email that makes
it feel worth it.
And I want to thank, uh,buttercup Jenny.
Um, she sent this like thiscame in, um, came in yesterday,
but we didn't record yesterday,so I saved it and I want to read

(38:11):
it.
I will try not to get emotional.
I just love it.
It meant the world to me, itmeant the world to Coach, it
meant the world to Boss,although, boss, you know she's a
bit of a Grinch, but she didsmile and say thank you.
She was happy about it.
Hi, coach, it's been almost ayear to the day that I found
your podcast and then became abuttercup.
I've been doing a second listenthrough of the podcast and just

(38:32):
wanted to reach out and saythank you for all that, thank
you for what the three of you do.
Um, I've been told for most ofmy professional career that I am
too nice in quotes and that itwill hold me back, and that my
kindness is a weakness.
I'd be lying if I said thesecomments haven't had an impact
on me.
However, I've always tried tohold onto the belief that
kindness will always prove abetter way to live and manage in

(38:55):
any position.
I love that so much.
This is my commentary.
I just love that, and it's sohard to.
I just love that, and it's sohard to especially pre-Ted Lasso
to hold that position in theface of all the corporate
dynamics out there.
I really appreciate that.
I will continue.
However, try to hold on, please.

(39:18):
I've had Ted Lasso and theLasso way made me feel seen, and
then I found your podcast and Ifeel like I found my people.
You have given me the strengthto keep my head high and smile
bright as corporate Americatries to stifle my light, which,
yes, yes, jenny, yes, that'swhat it does.

(39:38):
That's what it does.
I am 100% with you.
I'm going to keep going.
I could go on and on about thequotes I've written on Post-it
notes around my office.
In parentheses she writes bethe sky, not the weather, and
the ways I've related to whatyou all have to say.
She gives examples of ADHD,mental health, losing friends
and family to suicide.
But if I keep going, this emailwill be longer than a four-part

(40:00):
recap of one episode, whichthank you, what a sweetheart
that than a four-part recap ofone episode, which thank you,
what a sweetheart that is.
You really see us.
You really understand what wedo in dragging everything out.
She says so I'll just say againthank you, love, jenny.
I just I can't.
I'm going to have a breakdown.
It makes me so happy.

(40:21):
Thank you, Jenny.
Thank you for taking the timeto write that.
Thank you for our work and ourattempt at being passively funny
, meaning something to you.
We have such a limited time onthis world and it's so easy to
not write that email.
You know, it's just so easy forpeople to not take the time to

(40:43):
write, Uh, it's easy for us tosay, fuck it, we're not going to
do this podcast anymore.
It takes too much time out ofour lives and I'm broke and fuck
it, we're not going to do itand we've both chosen to go
different directions.
Um, so I really appreciate it,coach really appreciates it
appreciates it and boss reallyappreciates it, and and speaking
for Luke and the producers, youknow, thank you.

(41:05):
Thanks for saying that.
It means the world and, yeah,I'm going to have an emotional.
I might have to take a minutein the powder room.
But thank you, jenny, thanks toeverybody else who is feeling
that way and does not have thetime, is going through difficult
things, difficult things or,you know, is like nodding along

(41:28):
with jenny and saying, yeah,like that's, that's how it feels
for me too.
We are all family here.
We will always be your friends.
Um, we, we are so happy thatyou found your people.
It's a very, very complex world.
It's only gotten morecomplicated as social media has
risen and all the the world'ssometimes can feel so crazy and

(41:50):
you just wonder what people arethinking and you can feel very
alienated inside of this world.
But our community is here foryou, the buttercups are here and
thank you again.
All right, boss, what do yousay?
We tackle the rest.

(42:11):
Of Wayne, episode 9, thought weWas Friends.

Speaker 3 (42:15):
Is that what we're doing, sweet?
All right, let's go, I'm set.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
You ready to huff it up and do the thing?

Speaker 3 (42:24):
Huff it up?
No, I don't do that.
I don't do anything thatinvolves huff it up and do the
thing.
Huff it up no, I don't do that.
I don't do anything thatinvolves huffing.
Huffing has been ruined, bothmy inhalants in the drug form
and people saying stuff abouthuff my shorts.
When I was a child in the early90s I've never heard that term
Huff my shorts.
I feel like maybe Bart Simpsonsaid something like it I might

(42:45):
also be thinking of.
Hey, dude, there's no way ofknowing.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
Okay, so, in the absence of huffing, we can
continue with Wayne when we leftoff last time, if you remember
boss Wayne had been baited,Tried to steal a car.
Yeah, been baited into a carthat was jacked up and the
rear-wheel drive would not.
Uh, the rear wheels werespinning just barely and uh,

(43:12):
reggie knew he was a red handerwhat do you call him?
I think he still called him ared hander and put a screwdriver
on his neck and calvin came outof nowhere and knocked him out.
I don't believe we've seenWayne knocked out before.
No, stone cold knockout punch.
Yeah, so Calvin has that in hisarsenal.
He's nobody to be fucked with.

(43:33):
Yeah, it seems like it.
You think you could knocksomebody out with a punch?

Speaker 3 (43:38):
No, I don't punch, I don't punch, I don't punch.
I can't remember what it waswas.
I didn't have a black eye, butI had some sort of bruise.
I bruise very easily and alsoI'm clumsy and walk into things,
so I often have bruises, butthere I had some sort of injury.
I can't even remember what itis now.
Um, but I went out with friendswho both know the boyfriend and

(44:02):
, uh, the wife jokingly said ohdid, did craig beat you up?
And then we all left, notbecause, like because that's
just that's so preposterous,that's so wild that he would
think that he could get awaywith that and that he would
still be alive, like there's.
Absolutely no, I would.
He would not do it, but also hewould be dead.
And then our buddy, who isknown craig, much, much longer

(44:24):
than me, said uh yeah, no, craigwouldn't resort to physical
violence.
That's not who he is.
He wouldn't punch you.
He would somehow convince bothyour wife and your boss that
you'd fucked a goat and thatthat is.
That is more of the kind ofrevenge that I would be coming
with psychological warfarepsyops yeah, like I'll.
I'll cost you your job and I'lltake your family away, not by

(44:46):
murdering them, but I'll justburn your entire life down.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
It's a very Sun Tzu.
Yeah, you got to know yourenemy yourself.

Speaker 3 (44:55):
I couldn't punch anybody hard enough A child.
I'm not going to punch a child.
I could knock a child out, butI wouldn't.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
I have over the course.
So if you remember, uh, I'm athick son of a bitch and um, uh,
if you remember, uh, it was acouple years ago some workmen
watching me lift stuff and Ioverheard them say he's a
fucking bull.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Do you remember I told you that it was?

Speaker 2 (45:17):
weird to be compared to an animal, um.
So I've knocked people out, um,in many ways, which is a weird
thing, and um, I realized sowhen I would have to defend
myself when I was young.
I was always short and which iswhy I say the two people you
don't pick on are short guys andbecause we've had to defend

(45:39):
ourselves.
And then the guy, the guys inwhite t-shirts usually just a
plain white t-shirt with a veinon their bicep the real thin,
lanky guys, those guys you justplain do not pick on them.
Those guys are so terrifying,anyway.
So I've had to defend myselfand knock people out.
But I've also knocked peopleout in sports several times.
I remember this one guy.

(46:00):
It was like this all-star guy.
I was in a hockey game and Idon't even know how I did it
it's like impossible that I didit but he was on a breakaway,
going towards our goal and Icaught up to him from behind and
then I remember gliding.
So not only did I stop pumping,but I had gone fast and he was
this kid was he was the best kidin the whole league.
He was this he was a tall sixtwo um, and I remember he was a

(46:25):
japanese guy.
That was the thing.
He had a japanese last name,which was an anomaly back in the
, you know, when I was, when Iwas growing up in hockey,
hockeyville, um, and he was agreat player, and I had caught
up to him and I remember glidingto get my shoulder in front of
him, so it would be a legal hit,and then I went up and hit him
and I remember him out the.
I've never felt so bad about itCause I was trying to be.

(46:47):
I'm not, I was not a cheapplayer, I was a scrappy player.
I'd make you angry but I wouldnot, um never try to hurt
anybody.
And I was like like they weretrying to like stop me from like
full out, like wailing, crying.
I wasn like I did not mean to dothat, but it was such a
horrible feeling Because I wasjust trying to be legal and I
hit him so hard that his helmetcame off, his gloves flew off,

(47:11):
he dropped his stick and then heslid into the goalie.
He slid into our goalie on hisback and he was out and I was
like 17.
I was all muscle.
You know what I mean you didn'tknow the power of your own
strength.
I didn't mean to do it, it wasso.
It's so terrible to knocksomebody out, so, anyway, Calvin
knocks out um Wayne.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
This is.
This is a different.
Yeah, go ahead.
Sorry, why being knocked outwould be really bad.
You don't want to be knockedout in the water.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
Yeah, no, god.
Did you ever dive or did youjust swim?
God, no, no.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
I could barely dive when I was just off the blocks.
I was bad at it.
Have you ever done a?

Speaker 2 (47:55):
jackknife dive.
Have you ever tried one?

Speaker 3 (47:57):
of those.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
So I dated a girl in college who was a diver, really
good diver.
She was amazing.
She who was a diver, um, reallygood diver she was.
She was like amazing.
She was like the high you knowhigh dives, and she could do all
the different dives, pikes, andI'm trying to think of all the
names.
If I coach were here, I wouldsay triple lindy, which is a
reference to back to school, therodney danger um but um, but
she would just go.
I remember this one.
She would just jump up, touchher toes and then straighten and

(48:21):
go into the water.
You know like easy and Iremember trying it one time.
I did it and proceeded tostrain every just doing that
motion in the air.
Your core has to be so strongit's and mine wasn't, because
I've never been a diver and Ilike basically pulled everything
from my like pecs down to myknees.
I it was.
It was horrifying.

(48:42):
Yeah, if you've never done it,anyone who's a diver out there,
kudos and swimmers too.
Swimmers have great strongtrunks.
It's amazing.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
I mean, maybe Not anymore.
You've got to keep doing theswimming in order to keep it up.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
You don't compete with as much swimming as you
used to.

Speaker 3 (49:00):
Can't say I do.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Calvin knocks out Wayne and boom, we're out of the
scene.
We're out of the episode andnow we start with a very wide
shot.
Um, to the point where I waslike where'd they get the money
for this shot, because they'reup so high, it's pre.
I don't think they could afforda drone or drone technology was
not as prevalent six years agowhen this was filmed.

(49:23):
Um, sometimes, if you're, ifyou're piecing things together
and you're on a shoestringbudget when you're shooting, the
best thing you can have as ayoung filmmaker is like an uncle
that works for a ge orsomething where he has access to
a bucket truck, and you're likeuncle, uncle murray, can you
come out and just like, can Ijust get two shots from way up

(49:46):
high?
He's like I could get fired ifyou just, please, please, let me
use your bucket truck for shots.
Anyway, they have this high shotof butthole Tommy Cole and they
are.
They are sort of watching as acar goes by.
They are sort of watching as acar goes by.

(50:06):
It's the tow truck coming intoframe towing their car, which
has they somehow.
I don't know what they did totheir car.
I'm guessing they broke an axle, they drove off the road, but
it doesn't matter why.
Why doesn't it matter, boss?
Because the next shot is what?

Speaker 3 (50:21):
Oh, it's them walking , which doesn't make any sense
to me.
Why would you not be able toride in the tow truck, the?
The one time I've been in a carthat needs to be towed, we rode
in the tow truck to the placewhere the car was being towed.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
I think they let one person in the tow truck.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
If anybody works for triple aor a tow tow company, I doubt
there's any.
This is a stereotype I have.
But um, um, cause I do have metgood tow truck drivers, but
there are some real, there'ssome real.
I think it has a higherpreponderance of motherfuckers
in the towing industry than inother industries, um, but I

(50:57):
think they let you have oneperson in the cab and I think,
if I don't imagine they'd let adog, but I don't know, yeah, no,
probably the dog.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
but I don't know, yeah, no, probably the dog.
Probably would be a dealbreaker.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
I know the dog in your car that's being towed.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
Right yeah, and I went with another friend of mine
she and I went together with,and then other people followed
behind us, but that towed truckdriver let both of us in.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
So we have um, um.
But I, tommy cole, uh with uh,in the person of michael mallion
, is incredibly, uh, beautiful,large cranium with the tiny,
little, teeny, tiny cap on thetop.
And uh, here they come withorlando and his backpack on
coming down the road.
Now they're holding a dog,they're escorting the dog that
they did not hit.
Um, yesterday I was driving topick up my son my daughter was

(51:46):
in the front seat and a littledoggie.
A very busy road I was probablygoing 40, 45.
And a little cute doggie aboutthe size of Spuds McKenzie.
You know that little, I don'tknow what breed it is that's
very topical.
Yeah, whatever.
A tiny little dog I would saysmall to medium-sized dog walks

(52:09):
out on the road like the dumbestidiot I've ever seen.
He barely misses.
He goes in front of the otherlane first, but he is making a
beeline for right in front of mycar and I swerved.
You're not supposed to swerve,you're supposed to hit the dog
according to whatever.
I swerved so you're notsupposed to swerve, you're
supposed to hit the dogaccording to whatever, but I'm
not going to hit any dog.
I like dogs more than I likepeople and you know I love
people.
So I swerved and, and, and andhit my brakes and we missed the

(52:35):
dog by less than an inch.
It was a miracle that I didn'thit this dog and we didn't have
time.
My daughter was like soimpressed.
She's like oh my god, how didyou not kill that dog?
She's like you didn't even hitit and we saw the dumb ass with
his stupid tongue hanging outand his tail wagging, walk off,
didn't even, didn't even grazethe idiot.

Speaker 3 (52:57):
He just like walked and I was like no it was heavy.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
I was so happy.
I've been happy ever.
I'm happy now talking about itbecause I'm like, oh, thank god,
I didn't kill it.
I've never killed anything withmy car that I'm aware of.
I think frogs, but I can't.
Didn't feel them, um, becauseit was like in the middle of a
rainstorm, but I have luckily,to my knowledge, not hit like
anything of.
So I haven't killed a deer.
I haven't killed, thank god,not a dog or a cat or a raccoon

(53:22):
or anything like that.
So have you have any roadkillon your, uh, on your resume,
boss?

Speaker 3 (53:26):
we talked about how, when I hit a rat with my car, I
cheered oh yes you deserve itand you gotta I definitely, uh,
no, did I, I don't know.
Maybe like, uh, raccoons aremotherfuckers, so like, even
though they're cute, I wouldn'tfeel bad about hitting a raccoon
.
I mean they're?
I don't know.
They're motherfuckers?

(53:47):
Yeah, they might be, they areadorable, but they're
motherfuckers.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
You think you wouldn't be a raccoon.
If you were a raccoon, You'd bethe imagine you as a raccoon.
Well, I'm just saying.
What yardstick are youmeasuring these guys by?
You'd be the biggestmotherfucker in the raccoon.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
By the one where John Lovett talked about how his
then fiance unfortunately nowwaxed Ronan Farrow, when he was
a child they had baby chickens,whatever house it was that they
lived in, and raccoons kepteating them.
So they had to bring theminside the actual house and put
them in the bathroom, and in thebathroom the raccoon somehow
snuck into the house and gotinto the bathroom and killed all

(54:22):
the baby chickens, and then themotherfuckers washed their
hands in the toilet beforeleaving that is what a raccoon
is.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
You're telling me you don't have a weird like.
I wouldn't kill a chickenappreciation for that level of
like determination.
That's the Jason Bourne ofraccoons.
Whatever did that?
He got into the house and thenwashed himself as a spite.
I was surprised they didn'tleave a note behind.

Speaker 3 (54:48):
Like nice try motherfuckers.
That is not Jason Bourne at all, though Jason Bourne had to
kill bad guys.
Chickens are not bad guys.
I mean, chickens aren't great,but baby chickens.
There's no point in killingbaby chickens.
There's no meat on those bonesanyway.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Something chickens.
There's no meat on those bonesanyway.
Something's fishy, something'srotten in Denmark with that
story, but okay, alright, that'sfine.
I have a weird appreciation forraccoons because they haven't
directly fucked with my life,although I know they are a
nightmare for a lot of people.
Possums, we get a family ofraccoons up in this tree that's
on our property and Julianaloves them and names, names them

(55:27):
and so whatever, and they don'tmess with us, to my knowledge.
So what were you saying aboutpossums?

Speaker 3 (55:32):
I like them.
I used to hate them changed mymind now they're fine now I
think they're fine because,turns out, they're nice okay you
ever see an armadillo runacross a road?

Speaker 2 (55:46):
No, you ever see an armadillo run?

Speaker 3 (55:48):
No, but the only place in the entire Southwest
I've ever been is inside thecity of Phoenix, and LA doesn't
really count, but like in thatgeneral area, those are the only
two places I've ever been.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
You ever see a panda bear?
Like fall off something.

Speaker 3 (56:04):
In videos.
Yeah, the only two places I'veever been.
You ever see a panda bear likefall off something in videos?
Yeah, you know, you know thatthere's a job and zoos in china
where you just hug the pandas.
That's your whole thing.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
That's your whole job oh, you mentioned this before.
Wait, explain what is that.
The job is to hug a panda.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
You're something like they.
It's part of the care team forthe pandas, but like, pandas
won't if you're trying to cleansomething.
They're like hey, do you wantto play with me?
Do you want?
Do you want to pick me up andcuddle me right now?
And you're like no, I need toclean the shit out of your cage.
And they're like but what ifyou just pick me up and play
with me?
So one of the like team members?
Their role is they pick up thepanda and play with it while

(56:41):
other people are cleaning shit.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
I want to be very clear.
I have made my intentions knownto people.
I have tried to be a greatperson.
I have tried to always take thehigh road.
I have told everybody that Ilove them, I love the buttercups
, I love the listeners, I lovemy friends and family.
But if I could get that job, Iwould leave all of you behind.
If I could get the job as PandaHugger.

(57:04):
I wouldn't need anything else inthis?
No, of course not.
I would leave tomorrow.
I didn't know there was a job,that's, that's heaven that's the
.
That is the best job on theplanet.
I didn't know about it tillyeah, panda hugger panda hugger.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
That's what you do.
You just pick up the panda hangout with it.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
So there is this thing.
This is why, uh, there's this.
It's big business to sendvideos of various animals.
Some people, everyone's got ananimal.
That's a weakness.
Juliana, for Juliana it's like,oh God, it's like, it's like
rodent, the family rodentia,it's like basically otters and
things like that.
You know, she's a sucker thingsfor.

(57:44):
You know, some people it'slittle bears, some people it's
puppies or cats or whateverpuppies or cats or whatever she
likes cats, kittens too kittens,for some reason, and I'm like,
yeah, but then they grow up intheir cats.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
Um, my favorite, um you don't know, you don't even
know what.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
You don't even know what happened in eurovision, but
and nor do you care, but I'llmention it for people that
listened and took up my adviceit was a total.
It was crazy.
This year it was an absolutezoo.
The best act was suspended formaking pushing down the phone of
someone filming him whoshouldn't have been filming him,
but he made a threateninggesture and it was a zero

(58:19):
tolerance policy so he literallygot rid of the top.
The favorite couldn't performand so his life's work was down.
It was crazy.
But there was one guy who Ishowed you the video.
I think you were there for that.
You had to fly out that forthat episode, so you left early.
I don't I think I showed it toyou, but I definitely should
coach um and he would talk abouthis cat and how much he loves

(58:41):
his cat and he there was a linein the song that said meow cat,
please meow back, and he wouldsay I'm gonna miss you all, but
mostly the cat.
Anyway, he basically wonEurovision.
He came in second, but he wonthe popular vote and he was the
absolute, far and away sort ofwinner in people's hearts and
minds.
It was from Croatia, his name isBaby Lasagna, and he's just a

(59:03):
lovely guy and a lovely humanbeing.
Seriously, you would love him,even though you don't love
anybody.
You'd think he was good.
And he also wrote a children'sbook about his cat, and so
people buying his children'sbook and the final dance of the
song was him dancing.
Oh, you didn't know this.
So you saw the finalperformance because you know

(59:23):
they have the video.
But then they have the finalperformance and on stage behind
him, when he's doing his bigdance, they have a bunch of cats
in the back doing the samedance, which is great.
Yes, I know, big dance.
They have a bunch of cats inthe back doing the same dance,
which is yes, I know it's crazyto you, but so it was like very
cat friendly performance.
And they show him going back tocroatia.
He got a hero's welcome incroatia, which was so wonderful

(59:43):
to see, um, and he startedcrying on.
He's like a me.
He started crying on stage.
He couldn't believe.
All these people showed up tolisten to him.
Stay, a stupid song, you know,he's like.
He's like just a sweetheart.
And they show him having hisreunion with his cat, who he has
now made famous.
And the first thing the fuckingthing does is scratch him and
draw and draw blood and I'm likeI yeah, that's yeah that's why

(01:00:07):
I'm a dog person.

Speaker 3 (01:00:09):
See this.
Uh, you think I'm a raccoonperson.
I am much more cat.
I would be a cat Like I.
It's great that you love me.
I don't fucking care, I don'tknow what to tell you Like I'm.
I think that's literally every.

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
I think that's great.
Every.
That's the.
That is the summary of everyChristmas card card you ever
sent me.
Yeah, man that's I think it'sgreat that you love me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:32):
I think it's great I don't um my, my dog noodle.
I I've only ever had one dog.
I don't need any other dogs.
I love her so much.
She was a hardcore bitch andacted a lot like a very cat,
like like if she didn't, if ifyou couldn't win her over, she
did not give a fuck.
She absolutely did not careabout you.
I think it's great, I love it.
I, I, not so long ago, um saidout loud, I can't remember how

(01:01:00):
it happened Craig said somethingabout, uh, mountain lions.
I said something about mountainlions.
I was like mountain lions areawesome, they're the best.
They, they're the best animal.
They absolutely kick everysingle ass, they're the fucking
greatest.
And he was like they're noteven that big.
So then I immediately had tostart Googling about mountain
lions.
I said out loud, as I wasreading one of the Google
questions that comes up thefirst one was can a bobcat be

(01:01:24):
mistaken for a mountain lion?
And I shouted in its dreams andI meant it, I was 100% serious
about that.
Wow, wow.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Wow, bobcats are.
They can get pretty big.
Actually they're terrifying,they get lion size.

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
Yeah, they get tiger size.
They're fucking huge andthey're awesome.
And look at them.
Do you see how cool they look?
Do you see them climbing uptrees?
They're the fucking best.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
Yeah, I'm a big, I have night recurring nightmares
over big cats.
So we will just move on.
But I, but I will tell you thatum uh, uh, with human beings in
general, the animal kingdomdoes something to us and for for
the purpose of a Wayne, savingthis dog, like, like it changed
my I don't know Again, I don'tsay changed my life, that I
didn't hit that dog yesterday,but it was pretty, it would have

(01:02:20):
really cast.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
It would have.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
it would have changed your life, If you had, if you
had changed my actual life, youknow, like I've never hit a dog
and I'm a biggest dog lover, Iknow, and so it's like you know
I just don't want to, uh, don'twant to harm a dog and so, yeah,
tommy cole has had a checkeredhistory with dogs who have died,
and then he was saved and foundout you know, okay, wasn't

(01:02:45):
wasn't me, thank god, um, butnow he has a chance to sort of
redeem himself and as his car istowed away, probably with a
broken axle from driving into aditch, and as he is faced with
the prospect of walking in themiddle of fucking nowhere, he
has the biggest smile on hisface because he has saved a dog.
A dog is like a Benji lookingsort of.

(01:03:08):
It's got a kind of a real gross, uh, kirchhean.

Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
He might have mange.

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
Yeah, it's a mangy mutt, yeah, but the dog is happy
and he's happy.
I don't know how happy Orlandois, uh, but he says uh.
Tommy Cole says I don't know ifyou know this, orlando, but I
have a tendency to see things ina generously, a generally
hopeless uh and and dreadfullight.
Uh, cup, cup, half full of shitkind of way.

(01:03:40):
But gone are the days of mybread falling, buttered side
down.
Uh, I like that.
Uh, I like that line.
Um, I feel like we're actuallydriving towards something.
Um, tommy Cole says drivingtowards what he says.
You know what I'm saying Movingtowards something.
I think the dog feels it too,ain't you boy?
And what does Orlando say here?

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
Says what are you going to name it?
Is it going to start with an A,like the other ones?

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
No, I'm going to try something different this time.
I like food names.
Oh, no, orlando says.
What does Orlando say?
I like food names.

Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
Muffin Donut Nugget.
My brother's cat is namedFajita.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
I like food names.
I kind of like food names foranimals.

Speaker 3 (01:04:20):
Yeah, Somebody once said that they wanted to name
their cat not a pet name, butjust an actual human name.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
They're like oh yeah, my cat steve and I always think
about that I love those yeah,this is, this is my, my cat, my
dog, kevin this is my dog kevin.

Speaker 3 (01:04:42):
I would fuck I.
I don't love the name kevin.
I'm sorry kevin's out there,it's not my favorite.
It's not you, it is, um, myawful uncle kevin, and that is
what I referred to him when Iwas a very small child.
But I think my dog kevin wouldbe fucking hilarious.
It's just that whole.
Yeah, it's just the whole vibeyeah, we have a.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
We have a friend, uh, in the film industry who's like
the whitest, most boring guy inthe world.
Of course he's the most famousand successful one of all of us
in the film, sure.
But we went to see god, whatwas it?
Um, what was that movie?
I forget, I forget it was anative, I don't remember.
But anyway, we all came out ofthe.
It was, uh, I'm trying to sayacapulco, but it's not that.

(01:05:23):
It was like, um, apocalypto,that's it, thank you, apocalypto
.
And so we came out and startedmaking names for each other.
I don't know why.
It was like, oh, you're, youknow, sort of stands with force
or something whatever.
And, um, me, they were lookingat, I was actually on the phone.
So they said bear phone.
They called me bear phone, umsure.

(01:05:44):
And then we all, so we all hadfunny name and bear phone stuck.
It's like my, my, uh, like xboxhandle, and and and so we all
had sort of fun names and welooked at our friend who's the
boring one and we were likewhat's his native name?
And his girlfriend goes, kevinkevin, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah,
that's the's mom's name Maureen.

(01:06:06):
McNulty.
He couldn't remember.
How could I forget that?
And Maureen McNulty?
So Orlando pulls out his phone,goes to Marlene McNulty of Cala

(01:06:27):
Florida and Tommy Cole says wegot to find a phone book.
No, you don't.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
To the point that Orlando says what's a phone book
?
Yeah, you're not finding afucking phone book what's a
phone book?

Speaker 2 (01:06:41):
you don't think things can change that fast.
You just don't think that is a.
That is a standard.
It was a gold standard.
Yeah, you know what mean.
It's like entire companies,millions of people's jobs, were
to call you to see if you wantto be in the phone.
Yeah, sell you an ad in thephone Millions.

Speaker 3 (01:07:02):
Well, this is like how some small child who doesn't
know anything found not afloppy disk.
What are the hard disks called?
Whatever it was Hard disk,maybe A hard disk, whatever?

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
it was Hard disk, maybe A hard disk yeah, yeah, a
hard disk right Hard disk yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:16):
Yeah, not floppy disk , hard disk.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
Hard drive.

Speaker 3 (01:07:19):
But they found one in real life and they're like oh,
this is hilarious, somebody 3Dprinted the save symbol.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
The save symbol yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:28):
And they're like no bitches, no.
The Save symbol yeah, andthey're like no bitches, no.
The save symbol is this what doyou think if we came up with
that as the symbol?
Dumbass, child.

Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
But yeah, that's how the world changes.
Just goes pretty quickly.
What's phone book?
Seriously, tommy Cole says it'sthe thing you use to find
people.
Duh.
You mean this?
I already got her address andher Etsy.

Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
Apparently she makes some sexy candles or some shit
but they're not actually sexy,they just have sexy names.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
It's all peach it's all peach, it's all isn't that?
Isn't that the the bestcommentary?
It's all just peach, um.
So he's like, oh man, we'regonna find you maureen and then,
and then we cut away.
So just a little thing, alittle insight into sometimes
it's, you know, it's it'sdarkest before the dawn.

(01:08:20):
You think you've killed a dog,you've driven your car off the
road.
I love, I, just I love, love,love, love the line.
Hey, you got triple A.
And then that insert of himgoing nah, expired a long time
ago.
It's so, oh, oh, chef's kiss, Ilove it so much.

(01:08:43):
But now, when it's when itlooks like everything's bleak,
he's actually.
It's amazing.
We can get in a good mood, we'rein control of our moods and, uh
, it doesn't always have to bein reaction.
Uh, juliana always preaches toour kids about being in reaction
as opposed to planning anddeciding.
And my dad, who was, uh, wedidn't know was on the spectrum,

(01:09:04):
we didn't know the spectrum was, but now I see that he was he
used to say to me you have sucha hard time getting up in the
morning, um, but you got to getyour mind to get you up, just
like think, like, think your wayout of bed and then he would
play these terrible I sayterrible.
Now they're probably prettygood, but there was a
motivational speaker called ZigZiglar.

(01:09:25):
Have you ever heard of ZigZiglar?
No, yeah, hey, talk like this,yes.
And he'd say I don't, I don'tconsider that, uh, my alarm
clock an alarm clock, I considerit an opportunity clock, like
because he was that, so my dadwould play that.
So he's ted lasso it really isactually actually you know what,
honest to god, zigzag and tedlasso there's a lot in common

(01:09:46):
there, um, but my dad would saythe one thing he did, that that
has all.
Well, he's not a lot stuck withme, but I remember about the
waking uh element.
He would say if I told, I'mtelling you, you have to go to
school and you don't want to goto school, so you don't want to
get out of bed, but I told you,hey, we're going to go to the,
we're going to go to a six flag.
He said the different one, ours, that's the.

(01:10:12):
Hey, we're gonna go to canopylake today.
You would shoot out of bed.
You'd be so pumped and it'she's like.
That just proves it's not, itdoesn't do it.
How tired you, it's all yourmental thing.
I'm like, oh man.
So it's interesting.
I forget that even now all thetime.
Um, but um, we are in controlof our, our facilities in that
way um, we cut from uh, we cutfrom uh, we cut from uh.
Tommy Cole to a bus depot wherewe see uh walk us through this

(01:10:38):
here, boss.

Speaker 3 (01:10:39):
Uh, so Dell goes up to the counter with the ticket
she's had since Connecticut.
I think is when they purchasedit or.
Rhode.
Island, rhode Island, yeah.
Yeah, rhode Island.
Uh, hands the guy behind thecounter the ticket and he says
25.
She says for what he saysdeparture charge, fee, change
fee yeah she says I don'tfucking have 25 bucks, and he

(01:11:01):
says neither do I.
Sucks, doesn't it next?
And then that's it, and he'snot wrong like.
This is one of those thingswhere it's not a great situation
, but it's 25 and if you don'thave 25, there's nothing you can

(01:11:22):
do about it yeah, sucks,doesn't it sucks, doesn't it?
and also, he has a job and hedoesn't have 25, so some shit's
going wrong for him I like, Imean whatever, it's just a tiny
little scene, but he does agreat job.

Speaker 2 (01:11:38):
I'll say in the in the uh, I've pointed out the
casting in this show.
This is a indian man, um, andyou know what I mean.
They're just making liketotally casual, they're working
all in um could be anybody, buthe's just like a, he's just a
regular.
You know, part of the, theocala bus authority ticket
office, um, and it's just.

(01:11:59):
It's just another way to sortof uh, sort of paint the world
in the way that it actually is,rather than like oh, a bunch of
white people are making thisshow, so it's all full of white
people, um, and he, um, yeah,he's just matter of fact and and
that's it, what's, what is uh,what's dell gonna do?
She says next, there's a longline of people and that's it.

(01:12:20):
Somebody moves into position.
So where does that leave, dellboss?

Speaker 3 (01:12:27):
uh, still in the bus station in ocala, florida.
And so she she grabs somecardboard and a marker, makes a
sign that says need bus fare andthen sits down in the bus
station hoping that somebody ina similar position might be able
to give her part of the moneyto get her to LA.
I don't know what she'splanning to do when she gets to

(01:12:48):
LA is one of the other thingsLike if you don't have money to
get to LA, what are you going todo when you get to LA and don't
have any money?
But maybe she'll figure thatout then.

Speaker 2 (01:13:01):
Yeah, it's not yeah.
For a planner like you, it isnot a great decision, but more
so than that, being BobbyLuchetti's daughter and having
to take this one on the chin andrealize she's out of options.

(01:13:21):
She is begging now.
Yeah.
She had enough pride when shewas back in her neighborhood to
steal Girl Scout cookies andsell or whatever she was.
She was industrious when, whenshe had no um fire and talked to
her dad, he's learned tofucking chop some wood.
So she learned to.
She's always sort of relied onherself.

(01:13:42):
And this, it's funny, what,what you must go through in this
moment to be this broken, tosay I'm going to put myself at
the whim of the universe, I needbus fare.
And she just sits passively.
I mean it's panhandling, it'sjust really.
I mean it's really really sortof dehumanizing.

Speaker 3 (01:14:07):
Well, it can be.
It definitely can be, and bythat I mean that other people
can then see you as less thanbecause of the circumstances
that, most of the time throughno fault of your own, you find
yourself in.
I do want to push back a littlebit at saying, when you said
broken, not that she is broken,not that there's anything wrong

(01:14:28):
with her, but how painful itmust have been for her to go
through that.
Right, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah,what?
Uh, yes, I don't know how tophrase it but, yes, that's
correct.
Well, well, it's only you know,um, the fact that I used to be
an english major and now I'm anaccountant who works in the
non-profit world.
I, the non-profit world itselfis very aware of how language

(01:14:51):
shapes our opinions on things.
Not just that we talk aboutthings in a way because we think
that, but if we talk that way,then we think that.
So, um, because we deal withpeople who are unhoused and
panhandling and doing all theseother things.
That is their job.
It literally is their job.
Their job is to put themselvesout there in a way that says I'm

(01:15:14):
going to stand outside forhowever many hours and try to
collect as much money as I can.
And so this is a reframing ofit that either you decide to pay
them for that work that they'redoing, even though it isn't
productive, because work doesn'tactually need to be productive
in order to be work.
You're either going to pay themfor what they're doing or not.
But we're not going to think ofthis as like oh, I'm benevolent

(01:15:36):
, so I'm giving you the 25.
No, like, they did the work ofasking for it, so I'm going to
give them the $25 because theyworked for it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:46):
I, I, I'm going to be coach right now.
It's a.
God damn, I love what you justsaid.
I'm going to be coach right now.
It's a goddamn.
I love what you just said.
I love how you frame that.
I thank you for for making suremy language correct was correct
, but also, like I, really I'venever in my life thought about
that in that way, never.
I've never thought that istheir version of work and work

(01:16:06):
doesn't have to be productiveand they're not sitting around.
But what?
What.
I was alluding to was not, butand I was alluding to that we as
a society are often sodesensitized to the plight of
people in that position.
There is no, there's no tears.
There aren't any tears to it.
There's no system, or wheresomeone with a, with a sign

(01:16:31):
you're like like it's not like,oh, they're, they're a first
level paladin, um, uh, street,uh, street, sort of, uh, worker,
um, or it's not like, oh, thisgirl's just barely down on her
luck and this is the only timeshe's ever done it.
You're just like, as soon asyou see that sign, you go all
right, all right, like a is up,oh, don't make eye contact.

(01:16:52):
You know, whatever the thingsthat society teaches us.
And there's no sort of, there'sno level to.
I think people would be morelikely to help her if they had a
sense that this wasn't herprofession or that that sort of.
I don't know if that makes anysense.

Speaker 3 (01:17:13):
No, no, no, I get it, it's.
It is exactly the same way that, and I don't even know if we
still have them, but for a whilethere'd be people that would
stand outside like tax placeswith their twirling sides, and
they got real good at it.
They're like, hey, come on intoH&R Block and watch me flip
this fucking side.

Speaker 2 (01:17:24):
Oh yeah, those side spinners are sick.

Speaker 3 (01:17:26):
Yeah, and that was, everybody acknowledged and
accepted a job, an honest jobthat that person was getting
paid for because it was in theservice of some sort of business
.
And so, yes, I think you'reabsolutely right about the way
that we see that.
But that goes like sort of bothways.
We have now considered her tobe not in society, the way that

(01:17:47):
we feel society exists likeoutside of the bounds of what we
think as being.
Oh well, he's a sign spinner,that's his job, he's doing
almost exactly the same thingthat she would be doing and
saying here is a sign, give memoney.
But because of the ways that weconceptualize things, well, we
think, yes, we treat themdifferently and we behave

(01:18:08):
differently towards them rightand she's doing a real shitty
job of spinning.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
Oh real shitty.
Just, she's doing a real shittyjob of spinning that side.
Oh real shitty.
She's just not a good sidespinner In that it's just
leaning up against her and she'ssitting.

Speaker 3 (01:18:18):
Mm-hmm, and she's not walking around asking people.

Speaker 2 (01:18:21):
It is so.

Speaker 3 (01:18:22):
What actually might be the saddest about this is not
the idea of being forced intopanhandling, but that she is
sort of at the end of a rope interms of she's not hustling,
she's not stealing tips off thetable.

Speaker 2 (01:18:36):
Yes, Right Is that now she is actively in reaction.
She has gone from her agency,feels like it's removed and now
she is counting on the kindnessof others rather than her own
ingenuity.

Speaker 3 (01:18:48):
Right, she doesn't have anything left to do.

Speaker 2 (01:18:50):
That's not, del, like at all.
Yeah, and you're right.
Uh, this is where, when I talkabout how, um god, there's so
many things, jesus, my adhd ispinging right now.
We talked about words that haveuh meanings and and I was I
mentioned another episode howautistic is now being used as a

(01:19:10):
slur and that sort of thing.
And then I also was talkingabout with craig's take on
things and my children's take oncertain things, where they see
certain elements of society butthen use it again.
They'll just use the transitiveproperty to be like well, so
like.
When my kids hear, like healthcare is tied to uh jobs, like if
you have a job, they're likearen't what the they're like,

(01:19:32):
they would say like, oh, so dell, and this is she's like
sponsored by reebok, somehow shewould be appropriately, yeah,
people be like.
Oh, oh, reba, okay, yeah, like,but you have to have like a
corporate big brother.
Yes, you know to be in thecorporate pantheon in this
country and I don't, it's not.
You know we have friends,people listen to us all over the
world, so I don't know how thisis in australia.
I don't, it's not.
You know we have friends,people listen to us all over the
world.

(01:19:52):
So I don't know how this is inAustralia.
I don't know how this is in NewZealand or Germany or any of
the other places that peoplelisten.
Yeah, we have listeners.
I know the amount of it is nuts, but anyway, I don't know how
it is in your country, yourcountry, but here the

(01:20:19):
preponderance of associativeconnections with corporate
America in ways that validatepeople, it's alarming.
So anyway, del is sitting thereand we pan off her.
She's sort of sitting in theback part of the ticket office
against a pillar on the ground.
And who walks into the front ofthis office?

(01:20:40):
Somebody without a car boss?
Who would that be?

Speaker 3 (01:20:45):
It's not just the ticket office I would like to
mention.
It also seems to be afull-service restaurant, yeah.
It is.
It is Orlando and Tommy Colewith their dog.
And Orlando actually says Idon't know if they let dogs in
here.
And he says well, if they don't, I'll just tell them it's my
emotional support animal, and ifthey still don't, I'll just
fucking sue them fordiscrimination.

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
Yeah, he is, he is.

Speaker 3 (01:21:11):
He's about the dog now he's 100 about the dog.
He is about the dog and also Ium, I saw something on threads
earlier today where someone waslike oh well, you can sue
anybody over anything.
I would just like to clear upthat isn't true.
I haven't taken a lot of lawclasses, but I did need to take
a business law class, which isdifferent.

(01:21:33):
You still can't sue anybody foranything.
If he said oh, I'm going to suethis bus depot, slash
restaurant because they wouldn'tlet my emotional support animal
, which I have no certificationfor, I have no way of indicating
that that's true.
I have no diagnosis that says Ishould have an emotional
support animal.
You can't actually sue them.
Actually, any lawyer wouldlaugh at you, tommy.

Speaker 2 (01:21:58):
Not any lawyer, not all men, most lawyers A decent
lawyer.
Anybody who's passed the barmight yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:22:06):
Well, if you haven't passed the bar, you're not a
lawyer.

Speaker 2 (01:22:08):
Like Uncle Nick's upstairs law school might you
know it's like one of those.
Yeah, Hi everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:22:15):
Well, that's Dr Nick.
That's not the lawyer, I know,I know.

Speaker 2 (01:22:19):
Lawyer is.

Speaker 3 (01:22:20):
Lloyd Herb somebody.

Speaker 2 (01:22:22):
I'm Lloyd, blah, blah , blah, whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:22:25):
I'm Phil Hartman doing another voice on the
Simpsons.

Speaker 2 (01:22:28):
Oh God, I miss Phil Hartman.
Okay, so he says this fordiscrimination and then we get a
wide shot where Del looks backand she sees the dog and puts
her hand so the dog can smellher and she does not notice who
is holding the dog.

Speaker 3 (01:22:47):
No, she doesn't give any shits about the humans
attached to the dog.
Also, it's Lionel Hutz.
God damn it.
How did I's?

Speaker 2 (01:22:51):
Lionel Hutz.
God damn it.
How did I forget Lionel Hutz?
I have a Lionel Hutz actionfigure.
That's how, of course, you do.
That is.
It was a gift.
I didn't go out of my way toget a Lionel Hutz action figure.
But I love Phil Hartman so much, so much that anything Phil
Hartman related but what is what?

Speaker 3 (01:23:14):
who notices her?
Oh uh, principal coleimmediately says del lucetti,
and she looks up, and she thenstands up and walks over and
gives him a hug and immediatelystarts sobbing my heart, my
heart, I know, I know, I you,you were born with only one
emotion boss.

Speaker 2 (01:23:34):
but man, this is, what must it have been for her
to see some, anyone she knew,especially an authority figure
at her lowest point?

Speaker 3 (01:23:46):
Yes, and I feel like that is there is.
Um, oh, there is.
I don't want to speak on behalfof an entire gender, because
God knows I fucking can't, but Ialso know that there is
something about actually theways in which women are

(01:24:07):
obligated by our society to beresponsible for so many
different things, like forrunning the household, for
maintaining, uh, familialrelationships, for doing the
parenting, for doing theplanning for, like.
Sometimes somebody will say,well, as long as I give my
husband a shopping list, then hecould go take care of it.
And I was like, why can't he goshopping?

(01:24:28):
What is happening that?

Speaker 2 (01:24:30):
he can't.

Speaker 3 (01:24:31):
So I think even that he can't create the list on his
own, that he doesn't know whatthe list is, that he has no
fucking idea what the list wouldeven be, that not only does he
not know what things need to bepurchased, but he doesn't know
what you're out of.
He doesn't know what issupposed to be there.
Laundry detergent.
What kind of laundry detergentdo we use?

(01:24:51):
How do you not know?

Speaker 2 (01:24:52):
How did you not look at the package?
Hold on, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Have you seen his handicap, hisgolfing handicap, god.

Speaker 3 (01:24:58):
Anyway, the thing about this is that I firmly
agree with you.

Speaker 2 (01:25:02):
It's where that SNL, wasn't it SNL?

Speaker 3 (01:25:08):
Where the women send their baby men out to go fetch
stuff.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, when theywere doing the ripoff of the
japanese yeah, the japanesechildren show.
Yeah, because in japan they sendfour and five year olds to the
store and see how well theycould do on camera, but like
they're by themselves and theyhave to get to the store and get
the things and come back andthe children do considerably
better than the men.
And I bring this up becausewomen do not want to be

(01:25:31):
controlled by and large.
I'm going to say humans, don'twomen.
Specifically, I don't thinkthat there are women out there
that are like oh, I just want abig, strong man to come save me
from all this.
But having somebody else be incharge for a minute is fucking
great, like having that pressureFor even a small amount when

(01:25:53):
it's like oh, you know what?
Actually, they're going to takecare of it.
I don't have to fucking do thisshit.
The relief that she must befeeling that she doesn't need to
figure this out by herself.
She's a 15 year old girl.
In the wild.

Speaker 2 (01:26:08):
She's a 15 year old girl in the wild, the alert
system that has to be on in herbody at all times, yeah, for any
possible threat from the worldof men, which are copious, the
threats are constant and therecould be a, a glance that puts
her even on.
That much it is.
Yes, it is terrifying and, andyou know, see our reference to

(01:26:32):
bear versus man.
Exactly, and for a second, herprincipal.
She rushes to him and hugs him.

Speaker 3 (01:26:41):
Well, the thing is, we don't actually know that he's
her principal, yet we just knowthat he is a person of
authority who knows who she isand seems to have been looking
for her.

Speaker 2 (01:26:51):
No, wait a sec, he's her principal.
He is the principal of theschool she attends.

Speaker 3 (01:26:55):
We don't know what school she attends.
We know that she attends aschool and we know that it's in
the same town of the schoolwhere Wayne goes, but he has
never said anything about herbeing a student there?

Speaker 2 (01:27:09):
Yeah, but didn't she Wait a second, though?
We have her and her friendgoing to the blood drive.
We know that that was herschool.
That was her school.
We don't know that that's hisschool, technically.

Speaker 3 (01:27:21):
We don't know that it's the school where Tommy Cole
is the principal.
We've never seen them interactand we don't know the name of
the school.

Speaker 2 (01:27:28):
We know it's Marvin Hagler High School.
Well, we don't know the name ofher high school, though I don't
think I would need to go backand watch, but you're probably
right, we probably don't and theonly reason I mentioned that is
because I feel like there'ssomething coming off that I all
of a sudden was like, oh shit,okay, okay you didn't put okay.
So she he says I got you, I got.

Speaker 3 (01:27:48):
Okay, I got you, I got you, I got you, I got you.

Speaker 2 (01:27:50):
Which is which is great, and keep going boss.

Speaker 3 (01:27:53):
Well, and then as she's sobbing, she, like it's,
starts to for a second, pullsaway.
She goes wait, you're myfucking principal.
And he says, yes, I am.
And that was the first timethat I I was like oh, oh, oh
right, he, she must go to theschool.
That same school.
It honestly didn.
Oh right, she must go to theschool.
That same school.
Honestly, it didn't occur to mebefore that.

Speaker 2 (01:28:13):
Really.

Speaker 3 (01:28:13):
Yeah, wow, oh God, I mean, the town I grew up in in
the town itself had two publichigh schools, I see, and we had-
.

Speaker 2 (01:28:24):
North-South battles in football every Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 (01:28:27):
No, I went to West Aurora, east Aurora.
Oh, West-East Got it yeah no,um, I went to west aurora, east
aurora.
We, oh, west east got it, yeah,and but the the east?
This was like when I was incollege and we thought we had a
rivalry with michigan and theywere like, yeah, we don't care
about the university of illinois.
Actually, actually, guys, wedon't think about you one-sided
rivalries are so brutal, that'sbasic.

Speaker 2 (01:28:47):
I don't want to.
I I could get.
I could get taken out behindthe woodshed for saying this,
but, like a lot of the bostonnew york rivalries are that way.
We're not so much the red soxand the and and the um and the
yankees that is a storiedrivalry but a lot of like the
they're like oh, that's cuteboston, oh that's adorable,
that's so sweet, you think we'rethe best city in the country in

(01:29:10):
the world and you're, you know,boston.
Um, but she says, yeah, you'remy fucking principal.
And he goes yes, I am.
And I was like I was thinkingabout like, oh, this is, it's
the first time he's ever likeworn a cape as a principal.
You know.
He's like you're goddamn right.
I am like after the principalconvention, you know it has a

(01:29:32):
new meaning for him somehow.

Speaker 3 (01:29:35):
And also he's still riding the high of saving that
dog.
They saved the dog.
They got Maureen's address.
They found Del.
He is on a fucking roll.
He's on a tear, you're right.

Speaker 2 (01:29:48):
His buttered bread has not fallen butter side down
anymore.

Speaker 3 (01:29:51):
He needs to buy a lottery ticket or find an
attractive black lady to hit onbecause he is having a good week
.

Speaker 2 (01:29:56):
That's right, he's got a shot in all categories.
So she says that's fuckingweird and pulls back.
And now, oh, yeah, you lovethis, you love it.
Now, folks, for those of younot watching, you'll remember
that wayne was knocked out.
We don't know what's going tohappen.
Next we have the show I thinkwas probably written, where this

(01:30:19):
is like a drug, uh, sort of asort of a drug, um, I don't know
, drug dealer, how is sort of a?
What's the word I'm looking for?
Like a, like a complex compound, that's it, yes, but we don't
know what they're going to dowith wayne.
But then we cut to a shot ofchains rattling and we see uh,

(01:30:40):
what, what are we seeing here?

Speaker 3 (01:30:41):
we see, we see what boss um, so it looks like it
doesn't look like wayne is beingpulled up on these chains.
He has been gaggedged.
He's got a rag in his mouth ofsome sort tied around.
He's being held up with hisfeet off of the ground in the
garage, sort of looking around,and Kelvin is across the way

(01:31:04):
sitting in a chair, verydisturbingly nonchalant.

Speaker 2 (01:31:11):
Yeah, like like, this is like a Thursday for him.
This is nothing, nothingspecial.
Wayne has his hands chainedbehind his back.

Speaker 3 (01:31:20):
I don't want to say it's nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:31:21):
This is very vulnerable, very vulnerable,
very vulnerable position.

Speaker 3 (01:31:24):
And I don't want to say that this is nothing to him,
more so that this is he is notaggravated Like he.
There is something about peoplealways get very nervous around
somebody that is jittery or likeoverly excited or seems like
they're waiting for a fight,like those kinds of like.

(01:31:47):
I am very angry right now.
Those can be scary.
This motherfucker sitting inhis garage casually as a child
is being strung up by chains andseeming to be not upset about
it whatsoever.
Like he doesn't seem angry, heseems calm, which is
significantly more scary to me.

Speaker 2 (01:32:10):
I love that you said that.
More scary to me I love thatyou said that when we look back
on the scene with lee fuckingmurray in and his girlfriend, I
think it was crystal.
Yes, no kira.
Yes, where we're right, it'sthe opposite.

Speaker 3 (01:32:23):
Yes it's the opposite they were.

Speaker 2 (01:32:25):
They like they thought they were badasses.
Yes, once they they were in thething where he was in their
captivity, they had no idea whatto do and they were freaking
out and it made it much more.
You know it was.
It was totally frenetic, crazyyes yes, right, that's what I'm
going for exactly right, andthen, and then this is just calm
this.

Speaker 3 (01:32:44):
This dude has been in this situation before yes, he,
he knows what he's doing and itmight be a big deal, but it's
not going to make him nervous.

Speaker 2 (01:32:53):
So we have a shot framed in the dark.
We're in a garage, but thegarage door is down.
There's a huge acetylene torchin the foreground, looming
ominously In the back corner bythe closed garage door.
You have Calvin sitting and hehas.
Were you aware of the glove onhis hand?

(01:33:14):
Those?
That's a welding glove.
Yes, and I was like, why thefuck does he have a welding
glove on one hand, um, and theother one is on his lap and
wayne is tied up.
And I said, oh my god, like youever, you ever, do any, uh any,
welding there?
Clearly, lots and lots and lotsof welding, a ton of welding.
It's a lot of fun.
Actually, metalwork is superfun.

(01:33:37):
I remember the first time my dadtook me.
We went to this metalworkingcourse and I remember seeing
everybody walk through sparks.
You'd have people on these hugegrinders and they're throwing
sparks everywhere andeverybody's just casually
walking through the sparks.
I'm like where the fuck am I?
It's like this is like vulcanhell, um, you know, not vulcan

(01:33:58):
star wars, vulcan, vulcan, uh,hefestus, the, the god of the
forge, and I'm, but they, youknow, after like three weeks I'm
walking through it.
Just, they don't hurt.
Yeah, there's nothing to it,but it's cool and fun and, uh,
it can be really creative andyou get real like.
I remember, um, once I learnedto weld, I worked with this
other company that made vacuumlifters, of all things and, um,

(01:34:19):
uh, it was a company that wouldlike they could, they would make
these huge attachments formachinery where, um, let's say,
you're building, um, I don'tthink anything, it doesn't
matter.
In this case, one, one job weworked on was, um, the, the,
these huge tile pieces thatwould go on the side of
underground, underwater tunnels,so the, the you would have,

(01:34:43):
like, at the end of a piece ofequipment, you would have this
suction thing.
You would pick up the big tilepiece and then hold it into
place and then the suction wouldrelieve.
And anyway, the reason I bringthis up is there was this it had
to be perfect.
You couldn't like, screw it up,people could die and the guy
that was in charge of weldingfor this would make his welds
were so fucking amazing.
I remember just being like, ohmy god, like it's such, um it

(01:35:09):
was.
He was so amazing at weldingand I think, like nowadays
they've probably computerized itI probably.
But back then this guy Iremember got three weeks uh
sorry, three months of vacation.
The rest of us couldn't get aweek off.
At this scumbaggy company weworked for, you know it was
terrible, terrible owner,terrible man that ran it, um.

(01:35:30):
But this guy would get threemonths off and he made a fortune
because he was like a, he waslike gifted, um.
But so calvin is sitting herewith a welding glove on and he
says you know how sick I am ofhearing stories about your
fucking dad.
I was like, oh god, becauseit's as an opening salvo, that's

(01:35:52):
worrisome.
I think, yeah, that's not.
I don't like you, wayne.

Speaker 3 (01:35:57):
Yeah, no, this is, and this is also like Wayne just
showed up.
He theoretically shouldn't haveany problem with Wayne, like
Wayne was sort of a dick when hewas putting up the shelves in
his man cave, but thereshouldn't be a reason where he
would dislike him.
To begin with.
He dislikes wayne senior andhe's taking it out on wayne jr

(01:36:19):
and that means wayne jr can't doanything.
You can't change somebody'smind when they don't actually
hate you this is right.

Speaker 2 (01:36:25):
That is very right.
Right, how are you going totalk sense to that?
I'm not him.
Yeah, tough shit, I don't get.
So we punch in the camera,punches into, um, uh, into just
calvin.
So calvin's just in frame.
We see now that the reason hedoesn't have a glove on is he's
smoking a cigarette with hisright hand.

Speaker 3 (01:36:44):
Um obviously something you want to do in a
garage filled with fumes andalso no ventilation.

Speaker 2 (01:36:51):
Yeah, but every person who has a garage like
this does that.
He steps up, puts the stuffsout, the thing, your mama?
She starts sucking on that boxof wine and all of a sudden it's
the fucking legend of WayneMcCullough Hour.

Speaker 3 (01:37:12):
I don't.
I think that you and I have hadsome not disagreements about
Maureen, but we have interpretedthings differently.
I know that you said in one ofthe earlier episodes that
essentially Maureen still missedWayne's dad.

(01:37:32):
You know she had a longing forhim, or something.

Speaker 2 (01:37:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:37:40):
I am going to be reading too much of my personal
experience into this.
I cannot say that this is whatthe writers meant or what the
showrunner means or anythingelse.
I didn't take that to mean thatMaureen actually missed Wayne
senior to an extent that itrisked her relationship with
Calvin.
I think that she would do thatin order to make sure that

(01:38:03):
Calvin knew that she could leavein the right place.
And I am not saying that shedoesn't have some feelings for
that.
I'm saying that she neverreached out to Wayne, any of the
Waynes, like she didn't reachout to her family at all.
Right, so if she felt like shemissed him that much, it wasn't
enough for her to pick up thegoddamn phone and say like hey,

(01:38:24):
I really miss you.
It was a way of saying, likethey might jeopardize my
relationship with you.

Speaker 2 (01:38:44):
Calvin, who knows?
I didn't take that to be enoughof a serious thing that Maureen
was doing because she did itonly when she was drunk and
because she never followed up onit.
It's totally valid.
You could be 100% right.
I don't know.
I only have my guesses and Iwanted to point out that if you,
if you're not Wayne McCullough,senior or junior, it's a pretty
there are pretty long odds ofyou ending up in a dark garage

(01:39:07):
bay suspended by chains andgagged.
I think it's like a if you goabout your life.

Speaker 3 (01:39:15):
You wouldn't expect it.

Speaker 2 (01:39:16):
It's a fair bet that it's not something that would.
But somehow, like we've alreadyseen wayne, like in this
situation at least not exactlythis situation, we've seen him.
You know, he just gets himselfinto.
I think if you're, if you'rejust like a, a agent or like a
force of disruption, the odds goup, especially when violence is

(01:39:40):
your calling card.
So here he is.
They do a single of Waynelistening to this and he doesn't
.
He's not squirming, he's not.
There's not a lot he can do,but he's just sort of listening
to what Calvin has to say, right.

Speaker 3 (01:39:56):
In the same way that Calvin was very calm about
everything, Wayne does not seemto be terrified.
Not that he doesn't know thatthere is a danger and that he
should be scared, but he is notpanicking about this.

Speaker 2 (01:40:11):
Right.
What percentage of humans wouldhave pissed themselves by now?
Probably a lot.
Me, a hundred percent of theme's in this room that would
have been.
I probably would have.
He's also doing the thing and Ireally.
It's funny how many times Ireferenced this, because it's
something you said that reallystuck with me, but it was.

(01:40:31):
I think it was Rosie O'Donnelltalking about studying drunk
people.
But like, see how Wayne is likebeing a student of like people
right now he doesn't haveanything else except watching
Calvin to be like how far isthis, how bad is this?

Speaker 3 (01:40:44):
Yes, yeah that's.
I can't remember what it was,but I messaged my older sister
one time she has a background intherapy and psychology and all
that stuff and I was like I'm alittle bit worried about one of
my friends, I think I think he's, I think he's going through a
manic thing, and she was likeokay, what's going on?

(01:41:05):
And I was like nothing, it'sjust that my spidey senses are
tingling, like it's just afamiliarity enough with mental
health issues, in that way thatI was like I, I I can't tell,
but I think, and she's like allright, well, monitor it, see
what happens.
And I was like okay, and thenhe ended up being fine, like I,
whatever was going on with him,he was just off that week yeah,
I was like it's.

(01:41:26):
It's my spidey senses.
Yeah, right, so it's almostwhat he's doing.
He's just like what?
How do I dial in on this?

Speaker 2 (01:41:33):
yeah, and, and it's, it's one of his, one of the
things that wayne has learned.
Um, it's funny as a parent, uh,you haven't had this experience
, boss.
But um, when you raise children, one of the really diabolical
um byproducts of that is theystudy you.
So there's no fooling that.

(01:41:54):
They know, they have got, theyhave memorized how your body
works, where you go, what you do.
It's crazy, it's like secondnature.
And so they can comment onthings that you had no idea.
They start to build thislexicon of your, let's say how

(01:42:15):
you carry yourself or how,because they can read your mood.
My kids tell me, they can tellwhat kind of mood I'm in.
I'm usually in a good mood.
I try to wake up, and I do.
I wake them up every morningand I do silly voices, and I not
in an annoying way, hopefully,but I try to like.
I just try to be upbeat whenI'm, I don't like starting the
day coming out of a beautifulsleep, so I always try to make

(01:42:39):
it nice and peaceful for them.
My dad used to wake me up byflicking the lights and singing
Reveille, and so I'm not I'm notthat I will wake them up with
you know, I rub their legs and Igently talk to them and say
funny things and try to get themto laugh to start the day,
whatever stuff like that.
So, um, but they're, they'relike, oh, we know what kind of

(01:43:01):
mood you're in by, like, how youcome down the stairs, like we
know, and I'm like what?
Like, because you're like, Inever asked to be analyzed this
way, but you don't, you don'thave a choice of it.
When you're spending all yourtime with you know that's all
they have to do is look at thepower source or look at the
authority you know sort ofstructure and go okay, how do we
read this really fascinatingstuff?

(01:43:22):
You just it's they don't evertell you this in the parenting,
uh, pamphlet.
You know they don't go oh yeah,get ready to be like in a
theater production of your ownmaking for 25 years, and so your
kids are.
But and the side, the the bestpart of it is because they're so
good at it and because I'veraised them in a house where
we're all funny and joke aroundall the time.

(01:43:43):
Now they just, you know,annihilate me, like they are yes
, it is.
It's like a roast every daywhere I'm the roasty.
You know it's, it's, it's the.
It is the best thing in thewhole world.
But like, like, you're reallyundermanned going up against
four kids that are funny, youknow, so it's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:44:00):
I like to think of myself as fairly introspective
and also not precious aboutmyself.
Like I will point out my ownflaws and feel comfortable with
that.
And then my niece did animpression of me one time and I
was like I'm, I'm dead yeah, oh,yeah, yeah once that seal gets
broken.

Speaker 2 (01:44:20):
You're like that's what's coming out.

Speaker 3 (01:44:22):
That's how people see me.
This is what I sound like, uh,on video.
This is what my recorded voicesounds like fuck fuck me.

Speaker 2 (01:44:30):
Well, she's got that in her in her bag of tricks.
Is an impression of you.
You just don't for some reason.
If you're not like a narcissist, you don't assume that will.
All my kids have an.
They have six impressions of me.
They're like here's dad whenhe's mad, I'm a dumb fucking
gorilla or whatever.
I'm like, oh my God, oh my God.
You're like, oh my God.
Here's dad when I'm meetingsomeone for the first time.

(01:44:50):
Here's dad when I'm talking toon a business call and you go,
oh, oh, like it is murder.

Speaker 3 (01:44:58):
It is murder the worst part is that I know part
of it is that they have watchedme do an impression of Kathy.
They have watched me.

Speaker 2 (01:45:06):
Oh God, and that is like that behavior for them.

Speaker 3 (01:45:10):
It's like the drug.
It's like I learned it bywatching you.
I learned it by like the drug.
It's like I learned it bywatching you.
I learned it by like fuck, Itaught you how to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:45:19):
Yeah, god fucking damn it.
So wayne is studying calvinbecause he has nothing else to
do.
He's got a gag in his mouth,he's suspended, uh.
Calvin says what the fuck do Ihave to be jealous for?
Now he's in frame, we're onwayne, but calvin is uh frame
left and we just get the back ofhis shoulder.
He's asking wayne what the fuckdo I have to be jealous?
Jealous, for, uh, she's up heregiving me that ass.

(01:45:39):
That's his mom he's talkingabout and his girlfriend like
that's.

Speaker 3 (01:45:45):
That's what you prioritize.
That is the first thing thatyou say about her, about the
woman you've chosen to spend thelast 15 or 11 years of your
life with I mean, is that notcool?

Speaker 2 (01:45:56):
that's what I say about juliana, all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:45:58):
I'm pretty sure I said all the time on this
podcast.
Yeah, but did he say?

Speaker 2 (01:46:01):
she's giving me?
Yeah, she's giving, but it'swayne's mom, that's.
He's, I mean that's, but but heis not thinking of wayne as
wayne, he is thinking of wayneas wayne senior.

Speaker 3 (01:46:07):
Oh, yeah, what he would say to wayne senior is oh,
she's fucking me, she's notfucking.
But he is not thinking of Wayneas Wayne, he is thinking of
Wayne as Wayne Sr.
Oh yeah, what he would say toWayne Sr is oh, she's fucking me
, she's not fucking you.

Speaker 2 (01:46:19):
Well, she's giving me that ass, and he's well, you
know.

Speaker 3 (01:46:24):
But he's dead.

Speaker 2 (01:46:29):
That's cruel, that is , that's fucked.
Calvin is very.
Calvin is very calmly.
This is a version of twistingthe knife.

Speaker 3 (01:46:41):
So he is trying to.
I don't know if it's actuallyworking for Wayne.
I think that, given the hurtthat Maureen just inflicted by
telling Wayne that he had toleave, this is fucking nothing.
This is not a motion.

Speaker 2 (01:47:00):
He had a wound that was cauterized by Maureen, so
this is fucking child's play.
It's a good point that he is atleast trying to intimidate
Wayne.

Speaker 3 (01:47:09):
Yes, he is trying to injure Wayne and Wayne is like
you think I fucking give a shitabout this.
Oh, you're trying to injureWayne and Wayne is like you
think I fucking give a shitabout this.
Like, oh, you're going to pointout my dad is dead.

Speaker 2 (01:47:17):
Well, he mentions yeah, go ahead, Sorry go.

Speaker 3 (01:47:19):
No, just somebody.
I can't remember what it was.
At some point one time, onlineor otherwise, someone was like
oh, you're just a fucking bitch.
And I was like, yeah, startwith something I haven't heard
since I was in second grade.
You think bitch is going tohurt my feelings Like I was a
Dave Matthews band fan?
You can't hurt me, I can't.
I don't know what you want.

Speaker 2 (01:47:41):
Yeah, you're a goddamn Dave Matthews fan.

Speaker 3 (01:47:44):
Your music sucks yeah .

Speaker 2 (01:47:46):
I've heard it all before, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:47:47):
All right, so that TV show is terrible Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:47:50):
Wayne being a Wayne show is terrible.
Okay, wayne being uh wayne theshow, not the person.
The the wayne the wayne showbeing the wayne show, we're
gonna get some humor, some weirdfucking twisted humor, uh,
woven into this.
So calvin references she'sgiving me that ass and he's well
, whatever.
And then out of no, we don'tsee.
What we see is now we're behindWayne, we pivoted, we're

(01:48:13):
looking over Wayne's shoulder atCalvin, like leaning in to do
the intimidation thing, and thenwe hear Reggie's voice.
And what does he say?
Boss, I want you to say it.

Speaker 3 (01:48:22):
Gross, he ain't lying .
And then they turn Our roomsare right next to each other,
which is like.
And then he starts doing thebed creaking, like it's like.
He hey, reggie Calvin isn'tyour bro like.
Even if he were your brotalking him up like that would

(01:48:42):
be a little bit weird.

Speaker 2 (01:48:43):
like it's so fucking weird.

Speaker 3 (01:48:49):
Reggie is not okay so him saying he ain't lying.

Speaker 2 (01:48:52):
I'm with him all last night and he just all last
night and he just all fuckingnight and you go like Wayne even
makes a face like what the fuckis wrong with you?

Speaker 3 (01:49:07):
Yes, it's extremely weird.
It's not an Oedipal complexexactly no An Oedipal.
I should have said that, yeah,oedipal, o adipal complex
exactly no, an edible.
I should have said that, yeah,complex it, but it's almost like
you should listen again.
I try to be as sex positive aspossible, but I don't think you
should be cheerleading yourparents sex life.
They don't want it.

(01:49:28):
You shouldn't want to do that.
You shouldn't be like, yeah,way to make another baby fucking
great.
I'll bet she's real satisfied.

Speaker 2 (01:49:38):
That's uncomfortable for everybody involved okay,
fine, I won't say it as much asI do that.
I'll try to.
I'll try to.
I will try to hold back aboutmy sex positivity in front of my
children.
Um, yeah, I don't know it'sjust like a weird it's so weird
reggie's so weird.
He's so, but I mean it's.

Speaker 3 (01:49:59):
I mean this dude the character is amazing, but also
in real life.
I I am a prison, uh,abolitionist and I would want
him put away someplace safe.
Someplace safe and good andclean and nice for him.
But I don't want him out in theworld where other people are,
where I live, no, it's so, so itis.

Speaker 2 (01:50:24):
So I, I, it's almost like when you watch it you
couldn't laugh at it Cause itwas so like it wasn't like ha ha
, funny, you're just like whatthe fuck you actually make the
face that Wayne says You're sobroken.
Calvin says if you think I needany more reminders of that
piece of shit.
And we cut back to Wayne andthen to Calvin and he says

(01:50:49):
coming around here, fuck it withmy fucking TV room.
And Reggie says trying Fuckingwith my fucking TV room.
And Reggie says trying to jackmy fucking ride.
And now I didn't notice.
But Calvin has put the otherwelding glove on.
We pull back so that the torchis in frame and then we see so

(01:51:13):
this is intimidating.
So you'd like these with asparker.
It's just this little thingwith a Flint.
It's got a little Flint tip onit and you replace the Flint
when it goes and you just likeit just drags the Flint across
like what looks like the tip ofa comb, sort of like a little
serrated sort of thing thatmakes sparks and that's what
lights the gas that you'recoming out, coming out of the

(01:51:40):
torch is a mixture, uh, in thiscase.
And um, he lights it right infront of wayne and it's it's
jarring in in this dark garage.
It is like it's like the sunright, yeah, and wayne has a
reaction to that.
This, this sucker, is hot.
If you've ever been around it,it is.
It is hot, hot, hot.
And he starts it out with a tonof gas flowing.
So it's like, really, it's not.
When you weld, you don't weldwith like this huge flame.

(01:52:02):
You get it smaller and then youget, and then you sort of can
can do a little more specific,specific work.
But, um, what does he do herewith it once it's lit?
Wayne is a little freaked outby this, actually.

Speaker 3 (01:52:15):
Yeah, At this point he is no longer cool.
He is starting to flail andsquirm.
Reggie comes over and says hold, fucking still, Stop fucking
moving.
Calvin grabs a candlepresumably one of Maureen's,
maybe sexy, but maybe only sexyin name and melts it.
And the only thing that I like,of course it's gonna melt.

(01:52:41):
It's a fucking candle.
I understand what he was goingfor.
He wanted to be like do you seehow hot it is?
But he didn't melt like metalwith it.
It is supposed to melt metal.
And he's like you see how wellthis goes through wax?
It's like yeah, well, so doesstring buddy, this isn't as
intimidating as you think it is.
Watch me melt this cheese,fucking exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:53:04):
Watch me melt this ice cube with this acetylene.
Yeah, no, that's what it is acandle.

Speaker 3 (01:53:10):
You're not going to use the candle as the implement
with which to torture Wayne, soyou're just wasting time.

Speaker 2 (01:53:18):
Yeah, no, he's just a dumb ass, he's a dumb ass.
And as he is doing this, wehear what are we here?
What was the audio cue?
Hold on, I got to turn this upfor a second so I can back it up
.
Let's see.
Oh, that's what it was.
Yeah, what the the universal.
We hear the beep of a car.

(01:53:40):
That was the audio cue.

Speaker 3 (01:53:42):
Although when I say universal, I do not mean the car
that I had as recently as sevenyears ago, because that did not
have the automatic door locks,the beeping.
I had to go around to eachsingle door and pop that bad boy
opener shut and it had theroll-down windows Ford Focus.
It was fucking great.
I actually loved it.

Speaker 2 (01:54:04):
My dad used to buy cars that had the roll-down
window.
He would intentionally get theroll-down window and I was like
Dad, why do we have?
I never would swear at him.
I would say, dad, why would youget the roll down window?
And I was like dad, what thelike, why do we have?
I never would swear at him.
I would say, like dad, what?
Why would you get the roll downwindow?
He's like cause if, if you everget your car goes into a river

(01:54:24):
or a lake, those will shortcircuit and you cannot get them.
I'm like how often, how often.

Speaker 3 (01:54:33):
Tell me how many times.
It only needs to happen once,that's it One time and then
you're fucked.

Speaker 2 (01:54:36):
You'll be damn glad you had those rolled down.
That's my dad.

Speaker 3 (01:54:40):
Yeah, one time it happens.

Speaker 2 (01:54:43):
Unbelievable.
Anyway, they're like what isgoing on?
Who's here and who the fuck isthat?
And so he puts the settlingtorch down.

Speaker 3 (01:54:59):
This whole country's going to shit is don't go
nowhere.

Speaker 2 (01:55:01):
Whole country's going to shit.
You can't just torture yourgirlfriend's son and and what is
this world coming to?
Yeah, why can't you just likeburn someone alive?
Uh, actually, why can't youjust melt?

Speaker 3 (01:55:07):
melt a erotic candle this is the thing I need to
mention.
I can't remember the name of itright now.
I think it was body of evidence, the movie with, uh, willem
dafoe and madonna that came outin the early 90s and it was
supposed to be like thefollow-up, the sexy thriller
follow-up after basic instinct.
Not not the same people, butlike supposed to be in the same
vein of movie.

(01:55:27):
Yeah, and all I remember is herlike welt melting wax on willem
dafoe during a sex scene.
It was in the actual commercial.
Do you see how weird and sexythis is?
And this was at an age where Iused to intentionally dip my
fingers into the wax in order topull it off and I'm like I
don't think that's thatimpressive guys, maybe it's a

(01:55:50):
weird sex thing, but it'sdefinitely not that hot.
It's wax.
It melts right away.

Speaker 2 (01:55:55):
So, growing up as a very average white boy in
america, um, my, um, I learned alot.
Well, I didn't learn a lot, butI I was in the age range where
this a film called weird science.
Have you seen weird science?
Oh yes, okay and so kellylebrorock, who was a goddess,
had this line where she's likeoh, it's nothing, you know,

(01:56:16):
chips, dips, wax on the nipples.
And I was like wait wax on thenipples.
I was like who the fuck?
I just remember that age beinglike really Wait, is that a
thing?
Do people do that?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like yeah, you talk to yourfriend.
You'd be like have you everdone like wax in the nipple?
I just got a text from CoachBishop, by the way, while we're

(01:56:42):
talking, and I texted him like11 hours ago.
Of course, he just texted meback like what's up?

Speaker 3 (01:56:48):
Oh, there you go, you got to get that stuff in there.
Yeah, no, I have seen WeirdScience many times.
This is also where I would liketo Petition whoever has the
Ability, both legal andTechnologically.
If we could replace Everysingle thing that Ricky
Schroeder has ever been in withAnthony Michael Hall, I feel

(01:57:09):
like that would be a pretty vastimprovement.
The Ricker Nah, he sucks nowLike mega sucks.
Wait, doesn't Anthony MichaelHall too?
I feel like that would be apretty vast improvement.
The Ricker no, he sucks now.
Oh, really Like mega sucks,yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:57:16):
Wait, doesn't Anthony Michael Hall too?
I don't think so.

Speaker 3 (01:57:19):
I'm going to have to double check, but I don't think
so.

Speaker 2 (01:57:21):
Just double check your work.
We should replace him.
No, I don't know, I can't say.
I just remember him being onsteroids for something and I was
like oh, oh.

Speaker 3 (01:57:29):
God, that's not the same.
He just had to do that for theDead Zone TV show that was for a
job.

Speaker 2 (01:57:38):
It was for something a while ago.
It was just a comeback movieand he was like the big thick
and I was like no, I like him asthe shit-talking fast-talker.

Speaker 3 (01:57:48):
He's a bigger guy now .
He was also.
He wasn't the mayor in Batman.
He was somebody in Batman,though he was in fucking Batman.

Speaker 2 (01:57:55):
Why do they have to grow up?
I like them as puppies, boss,you know when they're little and
then they grow up and they fillout and they turn into, you
know.

Speaker 3 (01:58:05):
I mean, I've had to say this to you twice today
already.
But is it because of theforward linear motion of time?

Speaker 2 (01:58:11):
I think that's it.
Yeah, I think that's somethingI'm coping with, um, so we, we
get a shot now which is likeit's just crazy.
It just as as a as ajuxtaposition for what is
happening in the garage.
We get a little Nissan leaf andcoming out of it are who?

Speaker 3 (01:58:36):
Oh, that would be God damn it.
I'm forgetting both of theirnames Sergeant Geller and Jay
Linetti.
Yeah, and Officer Jay, they'rein their street clothes Gun
Eddie, goal Eddie, I need todouble check that, jay Gunetti.

Speaker 2 (01:58:50):
Jay Gunetti, that's it and Cop of Soup, aka Cop of
Soup, cop of Soup, there we go.
And he's in his comfies,remember, because he doesn't
have like, he has work clothesand he has comfies.

Speaker 3 (01:59:03):
And that's it.

Speaker 2 (01:59:03):
Nowhere in between no .

Speaker 3 (01:59:05):
Also, he just popped up on an episode of Psych that I
was re-watching not so long ago.

Speaker 2 (01:59:14):
Nice, so long ago.
Nice, I like that.
So, Officer Geller, SergeantGeller is in his floral ensemble
or not really an ensemblefloral sort of Tommy Bahama
shirt.
He's got his belt on and hissort of casual slacks.
And they approach and Calvincomes out and what does he say?

Speaker 3 (01:59:35):
He says whatever shit you need, whatever shit you're
selling, I don't need or Ialready got.

Speaker 2 (01:59:43):
Exactly right, and he thinks they're door-to-door
salespeople and they have athing where they walk out of the
garage and you still can't seein the garage.
Where they walk out of thegarage and you still can't see
in the garage, and that'sbecause they have, um, what it
is is, uh, it's, it's a seriesof plastic.
It's like 20 mil plastic.

(02:00:05):
I don't know what.
I try to figure out how todescribe this to people who
don't know.
Do you have a word, a term, isthere like a?
I only know this because we hadthis in my, my dad's factory,
where I worked.
Uh, we had these likewindscreen things, but it's just
basically like a series ofplastic sort of divide it's not
a plastic sheet.

Speaker 3 (02:00:25):
Yes, it's just strips of plastic in order to keep
most of the stuff inside andmost of the stuff outside yeah,
it's like a screen door for agarage, except plastic and you
can just push it.

Speaker 2 (02:00:34):
It's like curtains of of plastic.
You just push it open andwhatever, but you can't also
means you can't see in and it'sperfect because it's like this
is actually it's.
I just love that they know thatthis is discolored properly,
like yes, it's.
This started out as clear,translucent sort of see-through
plastic and it's just so bangedup and weather-beaten that it's

(02:00:57):
now disgusting and, you know,opaque and it's just awesome.

Speaker 3 (02:01:01):
Yeah, also, anthony Michael Hall might be an asshole
, so maybe I take back what Isaid.

Speaker 2 (02:01:06):
Yeah, I'm going to need to investigate further.
All of a sudden, timmy Chablisis looking pretty good.

Speaker 3 (02:01:11):
So put that out there .
I don't have a problem with him.
He's just not for me.
This is like fucking LedZeppelin.
I don't like Led Zeppelineither.
I'm not saying they're not agreat rock band.
I'm saying I don't dig it.

Speaker 2 (02:01:26):
Yeah, no, it's fine.
They are a great rock band.
Yeah, great.

Speaker 3 (02:01:29):
I know that they have three good songs.

Speaker 2 (02:01:30):
I know that they have to be good songs, I know, you
know that.
So now Geller flips out hisidentification Sergeant Geller,
brockton Mass Police Department.
And what does Calvin say Now?
Calvin is standing in theforeground.
The camera is going back andforth between the sort of two

(02:01:51):
parties why do I want to say Jayand Silent Bob?
Jay and Sergeant Gennetti areshoulder to shoulder, sort of
like equals.
Jay is much bigger thanGennetti.
No wait, jay is Gennetti.
Jay is much bigger thanSergeant Geller.
But in Calvin and Reggie's sideit's Calvin in the foreground,

(02:02:20):
leaning like a what the fuck doyou want?
Cowboy kind of, you know, likeI'm the sheriff of this town and
you got dumbass Reggie in ahe's in a black tank.
They both have big gold chainson top on that has a faded skull

(02:02:40):
with a crown on it, with agolden gold leaf, sort of
filigree crown, and underneaththe, the faded skull.
What is that?

Speaker 3 (02:02:45):
is it a cicada?
It's got to be a butterfly ofsome sort.
It looks like the um silence ofthe lambs butterfly actually it
looks like pretty moth like.

Speaker 2 (02:02:52):
No, no, I don't see the back, the back, wing the
back, but it doesn't matter,it's just what the fuck is he
wearing?

Speaker 3 (02:02:59):
yeah I don't know who actually designed this shirt.
Um, I will say it's vaguely edhardy-ish to me, although right,
although uh knock off ed hardKnock off Ed Hardy.
The only thing I really knowabout Ed Hardy is that one time
I told a friend of mine that TomHardy is extremely attractive

(02:03:21):
and she said do you mean the guythat makes t-shirts?
I was like, nope, no.
I do not mean Ed Hardy I don'tknow what he looks like, I'm not
interested in his clothes.

Speaker 2 (02:03:30):
Tom Hardy also difficult to deal with, rumor
has it, I am sure not great tobe around, great to look at it's
a damn shame.
Oh beautiful, beautiful man andsuper talented, super talented,
but even he couldn't maketattoo work, remember that show
tattoo tattoo had.
It was a show on, I think it wasfx that had literally
everything I like and and of itworked.

(02:03:53):
It was like the East IndiaCompany and there was Maritime
Law and there was Couldn't do it.
No, all this.
There was the Occult and therewas Doesn't matter.
Yeah, it was amazing.
It was amazing.

Speaker 3 (02:04:05):
And it was a terrible show.
Combined power of Tom Hardy andCillian Murphy could not make
me sit through all of PeakyBlinders.
Hardy and Killian Murphy couldnot make me sit through all of
Peaky Blinders First season Sure, because they were beating up
people with hats because theyhad razor blades in them and
Killian Murphy is a beautifulelf man and I enjoyed everything
about that.
Couldn't make it through morethan three seasons.
I was like they're fuckingdoing what now?

(02:04:25):
Okay, all right?

Speaker 2 (02:04:27):
No, I'm glad you call .
Killian Murphy is one of thosepeople, so I'm glad you brought
him up because he's he's the one.
That's not for me, oh, he's notfor you.
No, no, he like and I and Ilove it when women are like, oh
my god, he's like, he's so hot.
I'm like like he looks,whatever, he's just not.
I don't attack him.
He's a great actor and I hear agreat guy, um, but like when he
I remember him being like thebat man when I was like oh yeah,

(02:04:52):
no, no no, whatever you'relaying down.
I'm not picking it up bro.

Speaker 3 (02:04:56):
When he literally showed up, when he showed up in
the Dark Knight Rises when Idon't think people were thinking
he would be back.
It was sort of a surprise whenhe came up and he was shockingly
hot in the way that I didn'tknow he was going to be there.
And then I saw him and in theway that, like I didn't know he
was going to be there, and thenI saw him and in the theater I

(02:05:16):
went like literally that loud Ilove.

Speaker 2 (02:05:20):
Yeah, right, we were probably on the same message
board at Pajama at the time whenthat happened, and, and, and
you were among whatever number,like the, a vast number of women
writers who were were, and alsogay men writers and straight
men writers some street werelike yeah they were like god
damn, he's a beaut and I'm likeI don't even know, I don't even

(02:05:41):
know it's, I cannot see it.
It's like literally like I'mwearing different glasses and I
I'm like I don't know whatyou're looking at.
But anyway, it doesn't matter,cut my hand on those cheekbones.
I love it, okay, so anyway,it's a good poll, because I,
he's not for you.
No, no, god like no, I thinkeverybody's for me but him, I'm

(02:06:03):
like I don't even.
What about Eric Bana?
I think he's Eric Bana Eric.

Speaker 3 (02:06:08):
Bana.
How do you feel about him Interms of attractiveness?

Speaker 2 (02:06:13):
I think he's gorgeous .

Speaker 3 (02:06:16):
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:06:17):
Gorgeous.

Speaker 3 (02:06:18):
He's the one that the boyfriend thinks he's like.
I am straight, but Eric Banadon't care.

Speaker 2 (02:06:26):
He's like all man.
To me he is a man.

Speaker 3 (02:06:29):
He's a manly man.

Speaker 2 (02:06:30):
I'm also a huge Hector fan.
Oh okay, in Troy, in the wholeTrojan thing.
I'm also a huge Hector fan ohokay, in Troy, in the whole
Trojan thing.
I'm a Greek.
My mother was born in Greece.
I was raised Greek and I alwayswould get in arguments I'd be
like, but can we talk about whyHector got fucked in this whole
thing?
I would say that's fucked.
I wouldn't say it to my mom,but I'm like have you read this

(02:06:51):
story?
Sometimes would say that, fuck,I wouldn't say it to my mom,
but I'm like have you read thisstory?
Sometimes stories take on thelife of their own.
Yes, you know what I mean.
And so you then you're like oh,jack and the beanstalk, and you
don't stop to think, hey, thegiants didn't do fucking
anything you know what I meanlike what are we talking about?
like how did he get?
Wrapped into this, yeah likeguys minding his own business,
thinks he's away from thesetroublemaking humans, and so

(02:07:14):
with this I'm always like Hectorhas to be a good big brother.
He's Priam's son, His littleshitty brother has to go and
pick the one person you don'tpick or whatever.
You know whatever happened,depending on who.

Speaker 3 (02:07:25):
Got to get wrapped up in all this bullshit.

Speaker 2 (02:07:27):
And now he's got to go.
He has to like fight and dieand you die and be dragged
around.
I don't think it's a spoilerfor anyone.
I don't know if anyone'swaiting on reading the Iliad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, spoiler isthat Hector doesn't make it the
whole way 4,000 year spoiler.

Speaker 3 (02:07:52):
Yeah, I mean it's been around for 4,000 years, so
it's enough give or take.
I'm going to say a thing at youand you're not going to like it
, but you are going to laugh andyou're not going to like that.
You're laughing at it.
Somehow, craig and I ended upwatching the movie Troy, which
is not great.
I believe it was New Year's Dayand we were hungover as shit
and I said something to him andhe was like it's menelaus whose

(02:08:12):
bitch it was.
And then that became a thingthat he and I would say to each
other for some reason, like Iwas referring to helen of troy
and I called her husband thewrong one, like no, no, no,
menelaus whose bitch he was.
And I still sometimes, wheneverI see uh, dan kruger, I'm like,
oh, menelaus whose it was, andit makes me laugh every time.

Speaker 2 (02:08:34):
Listen.
First of all, do you know thatthe film Troy, the script for
the film Troy, was written byDavid Benioff, who was one of
these?
I did not know that.
Yeah, benioff.
And so Benioff is one of themost talented writers, even now
working in Hollywood, and healways was, and he's a head and
he's like a real tear aboveeveryone else, and troy was was

(02:08:56):
his um, that was like his comingout party.
I remember I worked in theindustry back at that time and I
remember like we all read troy,going like god damn, like holy
shit, this guy's good, it wasthat good and then it's.
You never know when you know,sometimes you read a script and
you go my god and it like, butit was not, it was universally
good.
And then it's, you never knowwhen you know, sometimes you
read a script and you go my Godand it like, but it was not, it

(02:09:17):
was universally regarded as like, it was like a flex, it was so
good.

Speaker 3 (02:09:21):
Oh, I might've told you this already and if I have
feel free to stop me, Uh, Peter.

Speaker 2 (02:09:25):
Sagal, I want to say that's co-creators of Game of
Thrones, writer and showrunnerof Game of Thrones.
For people who don't know whoDavid Benioff, who I was
referencing Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 3 (02:09:36):
Peter Sagal.
He's the host of Wait, wait,don't Tell Me NPR and he got his
start as a writer.
He wanted to write novels andthen he got into screenwriting.
If I've told you this, Iapologize.
I tell stories over and overagain.
He wrote a coming of age storyabout a boy in cuba right before
the revolution getting involvedin the communist party and

(02:09:58):
getting involved in therevolution and how that changed
him as a person, how it changedhis romantic relationship and
how he became sort ofdisillusioned but he still
believed in the overall causeand it this whole like very rich
in the history of Cuba and theCuban revolution and everything
that it was supposed torepresent and what it eventually

(02:10:19):
actually became.
And the movie gets madeeventually and there's an
interview.
It was actually this Americanlife.
So Ira Glass says to him well,that sounds amazing.
Did the movie ever get made?
And Peter Sagal said oh, it did.
It eventually became DirtyDancing 2, havana Nights.

Speaker 2 (02:10:37):
Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (02:10:40):
So sometimes you make a movie, sometimes you write
something and by the time theproduct is finished it's not
exactly what you were thinkingit was going to be.
Sometimes it's slightlydifferent, if you're lucky If
you're lucky.

Speaker 2 (02:10:53):
I'm telling you lucky , the first.
I'm telling you the first, thefirst comedy, the first comedy I
, the first comedy I ever soldin hollywood.
So it's very common forscreenwriters like, well, it's
hard to sell, it's like a, it'sgreat if you can sell because
there's there's wga minimums andthings like that.
You make a good, good chunk ofchange if you can sell something
.
But the first one I sold, um,you know thinking oh, oh, can't

(02:11:15):
wait for this to be a movie likeyou don't know, you know you
have no idea.
And and then you have to.
You have, uh, contractualrewrites and things like that.
And they kept saying to me Idon't want to say I can say
which one.
So they used to say can we makeit more like dinner for
schmucks?
Can we make it more like dinnerfor schmucks?
And I was like that movie hasnot come out.
It was only a script at thatpoint and I'm like I kept like

(02:11:39):
killing guys, like I don't knowif that's gonna hit, like I
don't and it didn't.

Speaker 3 (02:11:44):
And the reason that you're right now googling wait
which one was dinner forschmucks is because it somehow
had the combined star powerpower of steve carell and paul
rudd and they still couldn'tmake it work.

Speaker 2 (02:11:55):
And a bunch of other people.
There was tons of talent inthat film and it just didn't.
But that was the big thing.
The studio executive was sayingto me Can you just make it more
?

Speaker 3 (02:12:07):
like I was like I could, but I wouldn't feel good
about it.

Speaker 2 (02:12:14):
It's so crazy, oh God , okay.
So listen, we have this momenthere where Calvin and Reggie are
squared off against SergeantGeller and Jay Gannetti, officer
Jay Cop of Soup, and Calvinsays you're a long way from your

(02:12:35):
shithole and actually I want toleave it there today.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I knowit's a weird place to leave it,
but I think we'll leave it there.
I want to give myself-.

Speaker 3 (02:12:47):
I'm tired of talking to me.

Speaker 2 (02:12:49):
No, god, no, not, no, no, no.
Au contraire, I've had awonderful time.
I don't think coach will bewith us next time.
I think he's.
I think he's gone for one moreepisode.
So for those of you who areonly tuning in for coach Bishop,

(02:13:09):
I'm very sorry.
We only tune in for him as well.
We really get it.
We feel your pain.
This, this is a uh, just ashadow of itself as a podcast
without the great uh coachbishop.
But uh, we will endeavor to tryto keep your attention until he
returns.
Um, boss, uh, where do peoplefind you if they want to find
you?

Speaker 3 (02:13:30):
um is.
You can find me on threadswhich is emilychambers.31, um.
Also, I'm trying to get on bluesky more.
I'm there.
It's dumbly underscore chambers, um, and I'm trying to split my
time more evenly so both placeslove it.
And also, of course, I say thisevery week, and every week, I
could feel your, your eyes on meWriting for the antagonist,

(02:13:55):
which is antagonist blogcom.

Speaker 2 (02:13:58):
It's not.
It's not judgment.
We everyone's busy.
We do our best, we do our best.
Thank you everybody.
Thank you for listening.
Please support your locallibraries and the written word
and raise better boys.
Go out there and raise somebetter boys.
It'll make a big difference.
I promise we will be back withwhat is going to be.

(02:14:20):
This will be three, so partfour, Part four.
She's got our number.
She said stretch every littlething into four episodes.
It's not going to go longerthan four.

Speaker 3 (02:14:29):
I'll tell you, Were you trying to reference the song
Jenny's got her number.

Speaker 2 (02:14:35):
Oh, no, no, that would be wordplay which you know
I don't cotton to.
You don't cotton to, I don'tlove the wordplay, don't love
the puns, don't love the wordstuff.
Sometimes you can trick me andI can like it, but anyway, thank
you, thank you everybody, thankyou for listening, thank you
for joining us today.

(02:14:55):
Please join us as we finish upWayne, episode nine.
Thought we Was Friends.
I promise, if you have not seenthis episode of Wayne and you're
just following along, you willnot believe what happens next.
You will not believe it.
And I got to see Coach watch itfor the first time.
But I boss does what boss does,did what boss does and her and

(02:15:19):
craig uh, decided to watch aheadand I did not get to see, live
and in living color, herreaction to what's about to
happen.
But it's not something thatshows do.
It's not at all.
You know, when you watch a showand you go, yeah, I know who's
gonna, the killer is in thefirst five minutes or whatever
you go like I know you know thatkind of thing, they didn't,

(02:15:42):
they did not give you any hintslike, yeah, right, am I?
Am I exaggerating, boss?
There's, there's no way to knowthe next thing that happens
right.

Speaker 3 (02:15:54):
Correct, although what I was more blown away with
in this episode comes after that.
So the next one is phenomenal.

Speaker 2 (02:16:03):
But then there's something after that the final
thing is, so mental it's noteven, but we shouldn't be
talking about this much.

Speaker 3 (02:16:11):
This is like why speak out of class.

Speaker 2 (02:16:13):
No, no, yeah, this is just, and this is not a it
sounds.
It sounds very corporate, likewe're we're building in a
cliffhanger and we're not, we'rejust telling you, actually,
this is, it's, it's, it's adouble the insanity, but we're
each referencing differentthings that are mind blowing and
and they're equally not so, uhand amazing, and one of the

(02:16:35):
reasons why, uh, I just adorethe show, um, but so, pick, join
us next time and uh, and you'llhear the uh, the conclusion to,
uh, this episode of Wayne, um,thank you everybody, thank you
for joining us and until nexttime, boss, all by your lonesome
.

Speaker 3 (02:16:52):
We are Richmond till.
We can't think of anything.
Sorry, orlando, I'm letting youdown.

Speaker 2 (02:17:01):
Oh God, what a Boy.
We need coach back.
Yeah God, that's a rough way toend, it's brutal.
Sorry, apologies everybody,we'll try to do better.

Speaker 3 (02:17:10):
Luke, if we could just cut in a little bit of
Orlando here, that would beideal any orlando saying
anything at any time if we couldget him going wow that would be
ideal.

Speaker 2 (02:17:22):
All right, thanks everybody.
We'll see you next time.

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Wayne | S1 Ep9 Part3 "Thought We Was Friends"

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