The Tenacious Mama: Confessions of An Adoptive Mother
I’m currently on the roller-coaster ride of single parenting an adopted teenage son. Join me each week as I share my lived experience by starting with a confession, in the hopes of normalizing the complex issues that often come with parenting an adopted child.
Episodes
Confession: I am currently climbing out of an almost three month-long deep depression that really threw me for a loop. As the clouds are finally beginning to part, and I’m feeling more myself, I’m ready to get back into creating content for this podcast and I’d like to share what depression looks like for me.
Included in this episode:
*why my two month hiatus from this podcast dragged on into 6 months
*why I've had to start tal...
Confession: It is sometimes hard for me to allow Lane to express himself through his appearance, whether it’s coloring his hair, wearing goofy earrings, or sagging his pants. However, I realize if I stifle this important teen outlet of creativity, the risk of rebelling increases exponentially. I have no research or data to back this up. It’s just my opinion.
Included in this episode:
*summer activities for a 15 year old
*executive...
Confession: I secretly judge parents and caregivers who do not expect their child or teen to help out around the house with regular chores. I don’t know how many of them are out there, but I certainly know a few personally. I don’t typically judge others, however, I’m gonna get on my soapbox about this one.
Also included in this episode:
*my shift in perspective from the dreaded teen years to parenting a teen is fun!
*Lane's sp...
Confession: I recently learned in a family therapy session that one cannot be angry and twerk at the same time. Fun fact!
Also included in this episode:
*more valuable content from Daniel Siegel's book Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
*the handy model of the brain
*why the ages of 12-24 are the most dangerous of our lives
*the importance of keeping open lines of communication with your teen and how to work to...
Confession: I have started referring to myself as Lane’s bumpers on a bowling lane. I can guide and provide for him, keeping him out of the gutters in adolescence, while at the same time understanding he has free will. I need to trust in his ability to make good choices in the teen years. Lane needs to trust that I will be there for him, even when he doesn’t.
Also included in this episode:
*the sad reality of school lockdown drill...
Confession: I used to think that the teenage years were something I had to suffer through before Lane grew up to be an adult. But I just found a book that changed all that. I now understand the massive changes the teen brain is undergoing and I look forward to helping Lane harness the power of his powerful new brain so he can thrive in his adolescence.
Included in this episode:
*my Mother's Day surprise!
*Overview of the book B...
Confession: I have to let go of what I thought high school would be like for Lane and accept the fact that he needs more specialized and individualized attention that simply is not available in a traditional high school. Luckily, there are lots of options out there for kids like mine. The trick is figuring out which one will be the best for Lane.
SHOWNOTES:
What We Carry: A Memoir By Maya Shanbhag Lang
The Sixteenth of June By ...
Confession: My best friend of over 30 years ghosted me two years ago. Believe it or not, she shut me out of her life not once, not twice, but a total of three times over the course of our friendship.
Also included:
*how and when we met
*how we stayed close, despite the 1000s of miles between us
*our roadtrip to attend the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta
*a helpful article that helped me understand
*details about the first two times she dumped ...
Confession: I am constantly reminded that the more I learn, the less I know. This week that lesson came in the form of videos on vestibular and proprioceptive systems. What I learned in these videos was super informative and I wish I had learned about it when Lane was young. I also reflect on the the joys and frustrations of my motherhood journey.
Included in this episode:
*a sweet read aloud from Lane's adoption day
*Lane ...
Confession: Before I was introduced to TBRI, I once had an epic meltdown, which included throwing all of my shoes on the floor of my bedroom in a rage. I threw every single pair of my shoes as hard as I could onto the hardwood floor while screaming at the top of my lungs. Not my finest moment, but I did apologize to Lane about it afterwards and we had a powerful heart-to-heart.
Included in this episode:
*why I believe anyone who wo...
Confession: I wish I had found TBRI Trust Based Relational Interventions when Lane was in Kindergarten instead of 8th grade. In my humble opinion, it is THE SINGLE MOST POWERFUL intervention program foster and adoptive families need to be trained in.
Included in this episode:
*more on my high-functioning depression
*powerful activities from my IOP two years ago
*being authentic and vulnerable with friends and family
*grieving the moth...
Confession: Reliving Lane’s Kindergarten year has been much more difficult than I imagined it would be. Luckily, it didn’t seem to have any lasting impact on Lane. In fact, he doesn’t remember any of it!
Included in this episode:
*another funny story from my childhood
*blog entry written on 8/23/15: Lane is making great gains
*disastrous meeting with his Kinder teacher at the end of the school year
*hired a SpEd advocate to get Lane ...
Confession: Rereading my blog entries about Lane’s adoption day makes me a bit sad. I was so optimistic and naive. I never would have imagined ending up where we are now. I share two blog entries written right before and immediately after Lane's adoption day in addition to more horror stories of Lane's Kindergarten teacher.
Included in this episode:
*blog entry written on 7/11/12: Tomorrow we stand before a judge
*manda...
Confession: I used to be proud of my career in elementary education…until I had a child who didn’t fit the mold and only then realized how the kids on the ends of the bell curve were not thriving. And in many cases, kids like mine are made to feel like a bad kid or stupid because they do not get the attention and supports they need to experience success. I take a trip down memory lane, detailing how Kindergarten was the start of ...
Confession: I used to be my own worst enemy with negative self-talk that I wasn’t even aware I was engaging in. Now that I know, I’m working to becoming my own best friend with self-compassion, self-love, and positive self-talk. I'll share how gratitude is my superpower (when I practice it consistently), my new favorite gratitude journal, and a trick to turn your inner critic into your compassionate witness.
Included in thi...
Confession: I swear a lot. Well, maybe not a lot, but I definitely swear. Some believe that it’s healthy for you to get it out, but, like all things, only in moderation. Also included: stories from my childhood, more about the How We Feel app, the 5 lies depression tells you, and funny stories about swearing! Oh, and how the Let Them Theory is helping me reclaim my peace.
Included in this episode:
*a funny story from my childhood
*...
Confession: I didn’t learn how to process my emotions until my mental health crisis when Lane was in 7th grade. To those of you who are emotionally healthy, that may sound crazy. But it’s true. I share how music therapy helped me process emotions, as well as a helpful analogy to understand why processing your feelings is so important. You'll also hear about Lane's first concert experiences and extracurricular activitie...
Confession: I suffer from depression: major depressive disorder. But because I am high-functioning and an extrovert, very few people in my life know this about me- even many close friends and family members. I reflect on why my depression seems to hide in plain sight as well as explain some of my most troublesome symptoms of depression. I also share more fun stories of Lane dancing through the years!
Included in this episode:
*La...
Confession: Despite my extensive background working with children as an educator, I was woefully underprepared to parent a child with developmental trauma. Also included are stories of Lane's dancing abilities and how they showed themselves at a very young age!
Included in this episode:
*Lane's dancing at a wedding
*the terms "wounded children" and "kids from hard places"
*developmental trauma
*Lane'...
Confession: In those early years, I often looked at other families and thought, “It must be nice to have a kid who…” (dot, dot, dot, fill in the blank). I still catch myself doing it sometimes, even now. But comparison is the thief of joy. I’m learning to let that shit go!
I share how comparisons with other families caused me suffering, as well as the ways I learned to combat that with strategies to keep me grounded in joy and g...
Popular Podcasts
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.
"SmartLess" with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, & Will Arnett is a podcast that connects and unites people from all walks of life to learn about shared experiences through thoughtful dialogue and organic hilarity. A nice surprise: in each episode of SmartLess, one of the hosts reveals his mystery guest to the other two. What ensues is a genuinely improvised and authentic conversation filled with laughter and newfound knowledge to feed the SmartLess mind. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!