July 13, 2024 • 66 mins
Welcome back to the Terrphy Show! Join John Man and the amazing Miss Mary as they return with a bang after a long hiatus. This episode is packed with candid conversations and humorous anecdotes as they navigate the challenges of adulting, setting boundaries, and the unexpected quirks of suburban life.
From dealing with neighborly drama to the trials of maintaining a green lawn, John and Mary share their unfiltered thoughts and advice. They also delve into personal stories about their adorable yet troublesome dogs, Bruno and Canton, and the unexpected expenses of pet ownership.
Listen in as they discuss the struggles of finding the right clothes, the realities of weight gain, and the importance of self-care. Whether you're a long-time fan or a new listener, this episode is sure to entertain and resonate with anyone juggling life's ups and downs.
Tune in for a heartfelt and humorous episode that reminds us all that it's okay to laugh at life's little turvy moments.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Music.
(00:35):
Welcome, welcome back to the
Terrphy Show, the long-awaited, the long-anticipated, we're fucking back.
We are fucking back. And by we, I mean the John Man and the beautiful,
the lovely, the amazing Miss Mary.
(00:57):
Welcome, welcome everyone. The way John hyped that up, it's like he made it
sound like we're committed and we're committed.
But that just put a lot of pressure. That was pressure. That was a lot of pressure.
That was a lot of pressure.
I mean, whenever we do something, like whenever we're coming back and whenever
(01:17):
we're doing another podcast, I just feel like, you know, we're here,
right? And you got to make the most of it.
And, well, we could do this every week again. Or we could take another three-month
hiatus. I don't know. Who knows? Who knows?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't want it to turn into another life update.
(01:40):
I mean, I'll give you guys a life update. I just don't want it to be our usual
excuse. We're so busy. We live by our families now.
Yeah, and we have friends and all the bloody, bloody, bloody junk that no one
really gives a shit about. Nobody cares.
Nobody cares. Unless you're trying to manage through that. And in that case,
there's no managing through it. Yeah, there's not. Our solution right now is to move.
(02:05):
Yeah ignore and move that is
our solution avoid all responsibilities that is
such an adhd millennial thing to do just like run
away from your problems i know i would love to run away from
my problems right now you know how many times we've ran away from our problems
so many i think this last time we didn't run away from our problems this last
time we ran to our problems and i think that's the problem you know what i don't
(02:29):
think you're wrong there like that is the problem we ran towards our problems.
We ran towards our problems, like straight up, like uprooted our lives to come
home to solve all our problems. That was a mistake.
That was a huge mistake. And I'm not sure how many of those problems are actually solved.
(02:50):
I mean, some of them kind of like.
Some of them got solved, I guess. I suppose.
You know, in the sense of, like, we knew the outcome of those problems,
and that's, like, some of the reasons we were moving here.
And, like, nature kind of took its course. But the ripple effect of those problems
(03:10):
we're still dealing with. Yeah.
We are. And now I just want to run away from my problems again.
So I think that's our advice. That is John and Mary's advice.
Run away from your problems. Run away from your problems.
I mean, I think it's great advice. Yeah. But for real, you can't run from your
problems. They're going to catch up to you one way or another.
(03:32):
I mean, it took 15 years for us to come back and deal with our problems that
we had beforehand, I guess.
Which a lot of it was family induced and stuff like that. I suppose that our
problems did come back to us.
But on the same sense like we also
(03:53):
gained a lot in
those 15 years if we hadn't quote unquote
ran away from our problems the first time i i
don't think we ran away from our problem we ran away from our problems last
time but we were also chasing our dreams i think i think we ran away from a
situation yeah but sorry i think that if we hadn't done that we wouldn't be
(04:18):
able to set the hard boundaries that we have set that are not hard enough,
yeah and i feel like we have like such solid boundaries but it still is like,
we're like the conversation is constantly i don't want to say constantly but you know it's.
At least in my mind, there is a constant, what boundaries do I need to set?
(04:43):
Because this X, Y, and Z is too much or, you know, what do we set in place to protect our own peace?
I think boundaries are hard. They are hard. Like, no matter if they're boundaries
with yourself or your significant other or your family, like, boundaries are hard.
(05:04):
Like, right now, I should set myself some boundaries with my personal self, right?
Yeah, you need a lot of boundaries right now with your personal self.
I probably do. I'm trying to let you run your course. And, like...
And, by the way, married women, sometimes you just gotta let them run their course.
I mean, I've done five projects today, and not one of them have gotten done. Not one of them.
(05:30):
Not my problem, not your problem. them i mean it's kind of my problem at least
you cleaned up after yourself for the most part today,
i mean there was a point in time where i was like i just gotta sit
down and reconvene with
myself on what i'm doing i left
john out unsupervised was the problem you did
(05:51):
leave me unsupervised that was the problem i mean
usually i do pretty well but that's how
saturdays used to be for us though you would
leave me unsupervised from 8 a.m
until 2 and i just
had the world was my oyster and some of
it was fruitful like some of it was good
(06:13):
i did used to give you a list so maybe i need to give you a
list again the problem is with the fucking list is you are here with me yeah
so i don't like usually you and i when we're together we will abolish everything
thing and we'll just go do whatever the fuck we want yeah like there's no list
you want me to go back to working saturdays no that sounds terrible.
(06:36):
But on the other end, like when you did work Saturdays, you give me a list.
And I was like, all right, I got a complete marriage list. And then I do the shit that I want to do.
But now it's like we are we both have Saturdays off, which is kind of miserable.
Not having Saturdays off together.
Having Saturday be one of your days off. I think I would rather I will die on this deal.
(07:01):
I wish that John and I had Sunday, Monday off together. Now,
I will take Saturdays because those are the days John has off.
So I'm fine having Saturdays off. I would rather have Saturdays off with him
than not have them off with him.
But I wish that we had Sunday, Monday.
Because adulting on a Saturday is so frustrating.
(07:24):
I agree. Because if we had Sunday, Monday off, we could both get off 5 o'clock, what have you.
We could do some of the fun stuff that we've planned with either our friends
or if we wanted to go out and have some dinner whatever we could still do saturday nighttime activities,
and not be pressured to get all this shit done on saturday morning because like
(07:51):
there's a laundry list because mary and i we try to get everything on our laundry
list done on saturday we exhaust
ourselves to the point where saturday evening comes around we are still exhausting
ourselves and it goes into sunday we spend half a sunday working on this stupid fucking list,
and then we finally sit down and we're both exhausted we're both tired we're
(08:13):
both sore we're both sweaty as fuck and then we have to decompress defrag get
ready for the work week get ready for the work week meal prep if that's what
we do which we'd still have to do all of that if we had Sunday, Monday,
but the big difference is, is being able to do your errands on a Monday when
(08:34):
nobody else is out and about cuts your errand time in like.
I agree and then here we don't have the option on sunday because we live in rural america,
religious rural america right now and nothing
is open on sunday like is it rural though
like would you consider this rural i guess
(08:56):
we're now more of a like we're in more of a city a
large town maybe yeah we're like a large town by
the way i didn't know these pouches were here like i like i
just leave pouches wherever i go i guess apparently me too
honestly there's one left yeah but heavily
religious so like everything's closed on sunday yeah i
(09:17):
mean i guess some of the grocery
stores are open we can still do
costco costco i think
depending on the holiday so i've
gone to the mall it's been open on a sunday and then i've also gone
to the mall it's been closed on sunday so i don't
i don't yeah but even like minor
(09:39):
holidays like our target is closed on some like that it normally wouldn't be
closed on i mean they take holidays off to where they're not bank holidays and
they're just like religious holidays holidays because they know no one's gonna
shop there so they just fucking close down it's yeah it's i don't know it's wild
actually i mean fuck man like which is fine everybody should have holidays but.
(10:07):
Sometimes it's annoying you know i mean i'm used to
a 24 hour 365 day
hustle and bustle door the only days you get off are fucking thanksgiving
and christmas and the people
that are working on christmas are usually asian because they don't celebrate
christmas and you get bomb ass chinese food you know just like everywhere else
(10:28):
i don't know or like a lot of other people i knew that worked like christmas
and thanksgiving took like the double pay,
you know like at the gas stations and stuff and i
don't expect people to work on thanksgiving or christmas let me be clear but
i mean and maybe it's because i spent the first i do because i worked those
(10:52):
days let's see i started working at 14 i didn't get a work from home job till
The first 20 years of my working life, working weekends,
I was 30 before I got Sundays off.
If you're living in any type of service industry, you just expect to work.
But I would say 80% of that service industry is at least getting double time
(11:19):
for holiday pay on top of their pay that they're working. They're getting something.
So it's worth it for them. I mean, I've worked Easter.
As a hairdresser before i mean i work all holidays all holidays and leading
up to the holidays unless it's on like a sunday or a weekend where i normally
don't work i usually work the holidays i think we get six paid holidays to where
(11:43):
like my establishment is actually closed,
throughout the year i mean you were on call for christmas last year yeah i was
on call so if there's something going on, like, I'm still fucking working.
Yeah. You know, just because I'm home doesn't mean I'm not working. Right.
I don't know how we got there. Oh, because I think that Aaron,
(12:06):
like, I kind of wish we had Sunday and Monday off so that we could get our errands done in less time.
And it's so stressful on Saturdays, too.
Like, just because there's so many people out and about and,
like, it's crowded and you have to wait in line and all the things.
And it's fine. Like, we're nice. We're polite. We do all the things.
But I know the grocery store was tough today.
(12:28):
Yeah, it was a little bit. I mean, it didn't help that I was, like.
I was hangry i usually don't get hangry but i was like at the point like i need to.
Fucking eat some food yeah you know when i'm there and then i know if i'm hungry i know mary's hungry,
and like she was more patient than i was today but like
(12:50):
we kind of deflected on each other and our patience
was like more running thin on each other than the
people which normally doesn't to happen like we
could usually you know take the situation it's like
oh it's the situation that's pissing us off but today it
was more we're pissing each other off for no reason except
for it's busy on a saturday and we're both hungry i actually
(13:11):
told you to go sit in the fucking car i thought about it i wish you would have
i mean but we got everything done then we need to get done i came home i helped
you portion out beef i didn't want to do that you know but that's the thing
with If we don't do it right that minute, the shit's not getting done.
And you're right. You're right. You're 100% right. I am not going to argue with that.
(13:36):
If we don't get that shit done, we're not going to fucking do it.
Because we only have Saturday, Sunday off. We don't have that Sunday, Monday.
And then we have so many obligations. Like right now, July is completely full
for Saturdays and Sundays that we have family or friend obligations.
(13:56):
So anyway, it has turned into how fucking busy we are. I'm sorry, you guys.
Anyhow, we established today that we do not live in a simulation.
That is a great point. So there's a lot of simulation theories out there.
And one of the main culprits of that is have you ever seen your neighbor's bring in groceries?
(14:22):
And up to this point, Mary and I, we have never seen our neighbor's.
And we were like, we're totally down for this theory because we have never seen it.
In almost 17 years of being together, we have never seen our neighbors bring
in groceries. Except for today.
But I'm not even sure they were bringing in groceries. I saw a bag of chips and a box of chips.
(14:43):
I think they were at a party and bringing stuff home, but still groceries.
It's still technically groceries.
And I've never had, I mean, I guess our neighbors in Washington we talked to quite a bit, but.
I mean, I would say we talk to our neighbors here as much as we talk to the
neighbors in Washington. Maybe I just liked them a lot better.
Yes, there is that. But we still, I mean, even if we don't like the interactions
(15:09):
we're having with our neighbors right now, we are still having those interactions.
Yeah, and they're kind. They're very kind.
We have very nice neighbors that want to bring in their groceries. i
feel like we are better set
up here to be nosy neighbors
through the window than we were in our last house yeah for sure so like we've
had a lot more opportunity to you know spy make judgment yeah yeah so we live
(15:35):
in like an inlet in a cul-de-sac it's like a big view and there's three of us
and we are the middle house and we are the middle house we see everything like Like,
not only the neighbors to our left and the right,
but we can see, like, down each sides of the street for a little ways.
Like, we can see the neighborhood. We can see the fucking drum. Yeah.
Which is something I didn't think I would like, you know, because,
(15:59):
like, our old house, you had to fucking walk, I swear to God, 13 miles to the mailbox,
and it was tucked in between houses, and yet it was a long-ass driveway. Mm-hmm.
But there's a little part of me that kind of likes the fucking drama.
Oh, you like watching the neighbors? Oh, yeah.
Like, whenever there's a fight going on with our other neighbor,
(16:20):
like, I turn down the TV, I listen, I'm all in. I want to know what they're
fighting about, though.
I mean, maybe we'll catch on. I don't know. I don't know. They fight a lot.
They do fight a lot. The neighbors to the right of us, not the really nice ones, they fight a lot.
Like, sometimes I wonder if I should call the police fight a lot.
But i didn't think we'd be like this in
(16:42):
tune to the drama this invested in the
neighborhood yeah but like we're the ones that
are looking out the window i know like our neighbors names and with like
the lights off and you know like oh let's see what the fuck's going on here
like we are definitely those neighbors like if you have those neighbors they're
probably like if you live in a cul-de-sac there is definitely a neighbor that
(17:02):
is spying not spying but listening and we judged remember that guy in washington
that knew they on all the neighbors.
The grandpa guy, he'd walk his little dog. I kind of judged him for being so
nosy because I'm like, dude, you kind of need to mind your business a little bit more.
But now I'm like, if somebody, if I was walking and somebody asked me a question
(17:23):
about my neighbor, I would know the answer just like him.
Like I liked that guy. That guy was a, yeah, he was a character.
It was a character for sure.
It's amazing how many like different people you, you come across in your life,
like living somewhere. And then it's like core memory.
It's a core memory. And then, you know, like that guy, he was just like,
(17:48):
I know his family like sold his house and like he moved away.
And so I kind of know his backstory, but, and then like all of a sudden, like one day it was gone.
Then he was never there again. And never there.
And it's kind of like in our old
neighborhood the the old guy that would walk the dogs you
know like if if you
didn't see that man i was worried and i know that we've talked about this in
(18:12):
previous podcasts that i know definitely i've deleted this is kind of a new
story to you guys like there if we didn't see that person there was something
wrong so it was this think of like Up,
the old man, well,
I guess Up's dog is not old, but think of just this old man,
(18:34):
this dog that looks as old as him, going like 0.001 miles per hour walking down
the street, and you'd see him the same time every day.
I knew how late I was for work based upon where he was in his walk. It was like clockwork.
(18:55):
And it's crazy. Actually, I was part of like a neighborhood group and like some
people hadn't seen him for a couple of days.
And he was such a integrated part of the neighborhood and people's lives that
there was a post of like, hey, this might be weird, but I haven't seen this guy in a while.
(19:17):
And that post had like hundreds of comments on it to the point of like.
People were fucking worried. they yeah and like they
started coordinating meals because we found out he lived alone and all
these things and so it's kind of cool like it all like
brought like him not walking for a
couple days like enriched his life but it's like
(19:39):
the way he enriched a whole fucking neighborhood's life
and like all he was doing was walking his dog which it i don't know it was is
really cool like so i don't know i mean i'm sure i'm the like white trash lady
that's walking her basset hounds because i don't get ready when i walk my dogs
(19:59):
through the neighborhood i just like,
put some shoes on and get them out there you know and like i'm sure like half
the time because during the springtime and fall time you're the one that's doing
most of the walking because Because you walk them earlier because the weather's nicer.
And you walk them when you get off. And then I come home.
(20:21):
But during the summertime, I help you walk the dogs. Because we wait a little
bit longer in the day until it's cooled down.
I'm sure some of these people are like, who the fuck is this guy? Yeah, for sure.
You know, and you're in jammas or whatever, however you walk the dog.
And I'm usually in work clothes. So it's a little bit nicer.
(20:41):
Are in there like who the fuck thinking like
i wonder what our perception is
too and then i also worry because we so think
of like the movies and like or even like the 50s and little kids in a cul-de-sac
like riding their bikes through and all the parents knowing everybody our neighborhood's
(21:01):
very much so this way so like this week the ice cream truck came through our
like little neighborhood, our little cul-de-sac,
and the ice cream man was taunting us.
So we live in like, there's probably what, four rows of houses and it's kind
of like a little maze through our cul-de-sacs.
I would say if you would picture like the Sandlot and they're riding their bikes
(21:27):
through the neighborhoods, that's what our neighborhood looks like.
It's just like a 1960s cookie cutter neighborhood.
Not 2020 or 2010 cookie cutter. It's a 1960s cookie cutter neighborhood.
You know, every house is the same. They have a front yard. They have a backyard.
You know, all the houses are moderately like, you know, they're not small,
(21:52):
but they're good sized houses.
You know, like you can have a family of four family of five 1960s Sandlot style
when they're running, like riding their bikes.
That's what our neighborhood looks like. you know cul-de-sacs neighborhoods
trees fucking grass yeah i mean it's a
cute fucking very developed lawns like and
most everybody's kind of redone that their yards and
(22:13):
their houses and i don't want to say fully updated i
feel like our neighborhood's done a good job like keeping it true to
like middle class middle
america usa but still making it like
look clean and nice and well yeah everything looks
nice like like there there's a few houses
that look dumpy and mine might be one of them i don't know
(22:36):
because i have there both two of them
are for sale one of them is just they have like five families living there but
for the most part everyone keeps the neighborhood vibe alive yeah so we come
out we finally decide okay we're gonna take the dogs we're gonna go chase down
the ice cream man and we come outside and our neighbor is like
(22:58):
hi guys and we're like hey we're getting ready to chase down the
ice cream man and he's like well you better follow the
kids because they're on the way and i shit you not it was probably like 10
15 little kids on their fucking bikes pedaling their asses off running behind
the kids without bikes were running behind to chase down the ice cream man and
it was like the cutest shit what's up casey beeps yeah it was cute as shit because
(23:22):
like everyone i mean it's we are.
You know not the dead of summer we're at the beginning of summer it's hot it's nice outside,
and i just feel like there is no better sound than an ice cream truck running
through like rolling through your neighborhood also part of me like until we
(23:45):
moved here didn't think neighborhoods like this still existed and it kind of
gives me a little hope for like the next
generation yeah i mean it is fun i
mean there we have ups and downs where where we live but this neighborhood and
the house that we live in it does make me happy can you just say mary you were
(24:06):
right in what aspect oh bad aspect mary you were right thank you.
But in my defense, the pictures made it look so fucking small.
I know. You guys, so I fell in love with this house before we even left Washington.
And I was like, I want this house.
And we probably looked at like 50 houses and they'd get sold or they weren't
(24:28):
like right for us or, you know, whatever it was.
And I was like, John, I just want this house. Like, this is the house.
House and like honestly it was
it came to the point where we looked at
so many houses i was like you know let's just i think
we can make this happen you know because the pictures made
(24:48):
it look super small like i couldn't i wasn't
i'm not creative enough to
like see my own stuff in a place
so i just wasn't seeing what mary
was seeing obviously mary is a little bit
more creative and like these type of things than i am like she
was she was able to see like our stuff in here and
(25:11):
i wasn't able to do that so i was like i don't like this fucking house you
know it's just small like it's i i
didn't want to say beat up but it needed a little bit of work and like i knew
like with my job like i wasn't going to be able to like fix things up and blah
blah blah but like we ended up getting the house and then like it was the best
choice and mary was 100 right and let me be clear Our house is not small,
(25:35):
and I actually feel like it's too big.
I mean, it is a smaller house. I mean, but we still have a four-bedroom house.
I mean, but from the pictures, it looked like you couldn't fit your shoes in there.
Like, laundry rooms, a master closet. If you look at the pictures,
when you're looking at the real estate pictures, it looks like if I put a chair
(25:58):
in there, a single-person chair, it wasn't going to fit.
They definitely did not market this house well. They did not. They did not.
But Mary was right. Mary was right. And I will give her 100% credit.
The reason we have this house is because Mary fell in love with it,
you know, when we very first started even looking in this market.
(26:20):
And she was correct. And I give her, you know, she should have full credit because,
shit, we're living here and we both agree that this is the best part of living where we're at.
It's our little neighborhood in our house. but sometimes i i don't know this
is like the type of shit i think about but because we're like
(26:42):
i wonder what our neighbors think about us because we we
have no kids but a lot of
the kids play in our yard because we get a bunch of leaves and then
they'll steal our leaves and then take them to their yard and
then their parents get mad but that's all another story but like
if the kids are out playing in my lease i'll give them snacks or whatever
and then like they always have to put at my dogs and we're the
(27:03):
only adults like chasing down the ice cream man with
his pack of kids and two dogs and
two dogs and i'm like i wonder what they fucking think of us like
i'm sure they have opinions yeah and i'm sure of it because they have to because
we have opinions about our neighbors well and we uber a lot like if we're gonna
go out and even have two beers we uber because neither of our jobs are worth
(27:27):
risking over having a couple beers at dinner or going out with our friends.
So we just always Uber. And so they probably think we're alcoholics too.
I mean, they could, but if they're in the same boat as we are,
they've never seen us bring any of that in. Exactly. Exactly.
Like speaking of house though, and it's interesting and hard and tough.
(27:55):
And it pisses me off so bad. So I've pretty much started my backyard,
my front yard, from scratch. Grassy scratch.
Right? And I am trying my fucking damnedest to make sure it's a green yard,
it looks good, like everything is kosher.
(28:15):
And I, for the life of me, can just not get this yard to look good.
And it just pisses me off
so bad i spend so much fucking time
on this yard i i
water it like i spend more time on this
yard than i should spend then i spend on my wife and i
(28:37):
should spend more time with my wife i know that but the yard needs attention
i'm sure my wife needs attention too but i give it to my yard and i just cannot
there's always something wrong with it like Like now there's grass dying and
I water it and it pisses me off.
And there's yellow grass and there's weeds when there shouldn't be weeds growing
(29:00):
up. I was like, what the fuck?
You know, like I'm trying so hard. Do you know what I think the problem is? I'm trying too hard.
We need to get you some tube socks and some fucking New Balance.
I don't think you have the appropriate attire. You're like so close to the appropriate
attire. You got the flappy hat. You got the safety glasses.
(29:22):
But we need to get you some New Balance instead of your work boots that you wear.
You might be on to something. I think it's just the attire. It's like the grass
knows that you're not a dad.
And it just knows that. So it's confused. It's confused.
All right. I could see that. So, if I put on some white New Balance,
(29:43):
brand new, stain them up with some grass, you know, make them look all green and shit,
tube socks, up to my fucking calves, I think you're on to something.
And a polo. You gotta wear polo with it.
Give you some khaki shorts. Are they jorts or khaki shorts?
Khaki shorts. Right. Because I could get some jorts, too.
(30:05):
Like, I'm pretty sure I could rock some jorts right now. You're gonna do the
short shorts at this time, point in your life.
I do like some short shorts. You're like into the short shorts. They're fucking comfy.
Casey Beaves is in the life and she's coming to visit us in two weeks?
Close enough. Three weeks. For context. Okay, Casey Beaves, you just wait until
(30:26):
you see these John's new shorts.
They're comfy. Like they're non-restrictive. Like it's pretty much like wearing underwear.
Because you're you, you're going to boost them up and tell them how great they fucking look.
And I don't care that he wears them at home and stuff, but I for sure,
if it were anybody but you coming to visit, I would probably discourage him
(30:49):
from wearing them. Are they too revealing?
With guests? Babe, they're pretty short.
Like, they're pretty short. Are they? I mean, they're comfy. I mean, I don't care.
Like, it's fine, like, for being at home, but they're short.
I mean, if it makes KCBs uncomfortable, I will definitely change them.
Oh, I don't think they're, like, that kind of short.
(31:11):
Like, they're not, like, make somebody uncomfortable short.
I mean, they are comfortable, though.
I mean, they're definitely, like... I mean, I have so much freedom.
When you're sitting like that, they're definitely shorter than,
like, my biker shorts that I wear under dresses. this.
So I'm sitting with one foot on the ground and one foot on like a ottoman and.
(31:35):
It's actually a Costco case, but I'm using it as an ottoman.
I'm super comfy right now, but I'm kind of like somewhat spread eagle and it's fantastic.
I hate that fucking tank top though. I think I might throw it away.
I don't like this tank top either.
The only reason I wear this is because for one, it's comfy and for two,
like it's It's my bedtime fucking tank top.
(31:58):
We're going to get you a new tank top. All right. Well, give me a new tank top,
like bedtime tank top, and I will
throw this away. I don't want to wear my Disney ones to bed. Right now.
Tank top. Men's tank tops. I
do not want to wear my Disney ones to bed because I adore and love those.
But anyway, can we get back to the grass? Yeah.
So, all I got to do, new balance, tube socks, short shorts, fucking...
(32:22):
Do you want it the same material?
Hat thing. yeah it's a comfy material the hat
safety glasses some earplugs and then
my grass is gonna be green right yep all right i'm on like i i'm in on this
shit like i will go full blown because i'm tired not having a green grass with
(32:43):
how much work i put in this shit how about just quick dry quick Quick dry is fine.
I could get down some quick dry. I just wanted to be light and thin for when I'm sleeping.
How about men's three-pack quick dry workout tank top?
Gym muscle T fitness bodybuilding sleeveless t-shirt.
(33:06):
You had me at fucking muscle. Do you want a multi?
You had me at muscle. These are kind of expensive.
I love muscles. I'm not buying you those. Okay, never mind.
Get me the fat guy one they're 30 a piece
a piece a piece fuck that for something i'm just gonna sleep in how about amazon
essentials 10 40 like i'm not i'm not trying to go to the gym and you know flex
(33:29):
and shit but if they're gonna make me look good look good while i'm sleeping
i'm all about it how about amazon essentials regular fit tank top regular fit means for skinny people,
and have you seen these shoulders lately it's a tank top though it looks pretty long,
What size? Large?
Sure. Yeah. I don't know. Let's try large.
(33:52):
So Casey Beaves, I was in the store today and Mary denied me.
I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, sweet Jesus. Because like,
I want to get into weightlifting and Mary denied me weights.
I was going to buy them. I made a deal with you six months ago and you have
not even done it once. It's been a month.
It's been way long. And I have done it a few times, just not every single day for a month straight.
(34:14):
So Mary said, if I worked out,
push-ups sit-ups i said if i
don't care what you do i said if you consistently work out so
like i was gonna buy like a gym membership and i
i figured i'm never gonna go to the fucking gym i'm never gonna do that because
it's just not in my time frame of when i could do things so i'm just not gonna
(34:39):
do it but i wanted some weights you know like that i can have in my laundry
room in case you know what my laundry room looks like,
that I could just work out, do my thing.
Easy 20 minutes before I go to work.
And she said bitch if you start doing pushups and sit ups for 30 days straight,
(35:03):
I will buy you some weights.
And I said Okay, first of all I didn't say it like that. I said okay.
Well I haven't done the 30 day straight yet. I haven't done that.
I've been working towards it. I'll do like twice a week, which isn't 30 days
straight, but I guess the moral of the story is at least I'm working up to it.
(35:25):
But we saw some cheap weights at the big doll outlet and Mary denied me because
I have not done it 30, 30 days straight.
So I didn't deny you. Well, part of it was that the other part is,
is we have spent an ungodly amount of money in less than 24 hours.
Like my paycheck in less than 24 hours. So like an extra $40 for something that's
(35:53):
going to collect dust is it.
We're kind of at a, do we want it or do we need it moment? Because we've spent so much fucking money.
We are pretty good at that spending money. And so it really is right now.
Every purchase is going to be, is this a want or is this an actual need?
Because we went on a very nice date night that was it it was expensive yeah
(36:16):
i mean that was expensive it was more than i thought it was gonna be it was
more than i thought it was gonna be too.
We basically went to i don't even want well it's not michelin star expensive but it was definitely,
fine dining it was one step below fine dining.
It'll be here the first. But was it worth it? Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
(36:39):
And we knew that was coming and we budgeted for it. And then we took the dogs
in today and that was another huge purchase.
And then we bought groceries for the week and then all the things.
I mean, you don't think about this when you own pets.
We know it because we've owned pets for the last almost 17 years.
(37:01):
Years but the dogs your lease are fucking expensive yeah welcome welcome welcome how are you what's up,
i haven't seen you in a while taking them back like every year we were like
oh we need to take the dogs in for your lease and it is fucking expensive bill
because all the vaccines they need and the checkups and their wellnesses and
(37:21):
their medicine and their total trims yeah Yeah. Oof.
Yeah. So, you guys are doggy. It's scared of the boom boom.
Oh, yep. Well, you just get to bitch to Kayla in person as well about me not
letting you buy the weights.
Oh, yeah. That too. Mm-hmm. Yep. I mean, there's so much, Kayla,
(37:44):
that you're either going to have to re-listen to this.
Or you just have to hear when you come. Yeah.
There's been quite a few drama sessions. It's drama. Our house is drama.
Like serious drama. I mean, it makes it fun though, right? I think we're good.
(38:06):
You guys, my big baby dog is scared of boom booms.
I mean, that's actually why we decided to podcast tonight. To be quite honest,
we were going to have a fire in the backyard.
Just chill out. Drink some coffee. tales but the
the fireworks this year are just a
little too much for a doggy and so we
(38:28):
are i'm probably gonna spend fourth of july
in the basement watching a movie because which means we'll probably be podcasting
and he was so fine for quite a while but i don't know he got so upset last weekend
when they were letting off the big booms that he like was shaking and panting
and And he threw up and who's in like such distress.
(38:51):
But I think because the everybody sets off like big fireworks here.
So it's not like, oh, one or two like real big ones.
Like, it's like every firework is giant as shit.
And so I think that America. Yeah, America.
And he was like outside during a real big one, like alarm set off one.
(39:13):
He was like, he was. Let me set the scene.
So our big dog.
80 pounds sitting there popping a
squat taking a nice huge big bruno
shit and these aren't little like fucking
little dog shits these are big fucking turds these are big fucking turds our
(39:34):
dog walker used to call me and be like he had a big poop today yeah like they're
not these little tiny fucking poops that that you see on on the youtubes or
whatever they're big poops so he's He's mid-poop,
and one of these big,
huge fucking mortars goes off and just scares the fucking crap out of him.
(39:57):
Well, mortar goes off, car alarms start going off.
And he's just like, nope, goes inside. So now every single tiny little...
Like, even a firecracker goes off.
You could throw, like, one of those, like... Pop-it ones. The pop-it ones,
the ones that you just throw on the ground and they make snaps.
Apps like he's scared of those now because
that's how like traumatizing it was i
(40:19):
mean we got mr bruno during
like it was still like covid and
it was still no one was hanging out really so he
hasn't really experienced like too much fireworks and not like
this kind of fireworks because our neighbor beforehand when
we moved in what like lived in washington he had like
(40:40):
the big shit it always set off our car our car alarms
kc beeps could attest to this our car
alarms were always fucking going off when he was lighting off fireworks and they
were fun and our last dog like he didn't really give two shits like he's as
long as he was inside during it he was fine no he didn't really give a fuck
so bruno like he hasn't really experienced like that much of the fireworks and
(41:04):
then it just so happened to come at a time where he was taking a shit he was vulnerable
like his parents were inside you know it was just and now he's a friend of them.
So but i mean i guess it worked out because it forced us downstairs and we're
like well we should podcast and now he's passed out on the blanket my brother
(41:24):
uses and my brother fucking hates my dog's dog hair he likes my dogs but he
don't like the hair which nobody fucking likes the dog hair, but,
it's funny to me right now, because Bruno's got the slobber all over the pillow.
He uses dog hair on the...
(41:44):
He's wrapped in the comforter. I wish I could show you guys right now.
Don't worry, Casey. They'll be washed by the time you get back.
Oh, no. Well, I was going to wash them regardless, since...
She won't use that blanket it's too hot yeah so but
i i like i'll watch it obviously i'll watch
the pillowcases and the sheets and all of that
shit before she comes plus my brother's been
(42:06):
sleeping in them she don't want to fucking sleep in those after my brother so
like one of the the biggest reasons we
stopped podcasting as much is we
just had a wild ass dog right and then
we moved tier then we had two wild ass dogs and now
they're like finally getting to the point to where we could podcast and them
not being wild ass dogs you know and
(42:28):
we got like really fucking busy and
we got really busy don't want to blame everything
on the dogs but you know but yeah
so we went to the vet today for the yearly checkup spent a
shit ton of money last night went to the vet today did our
grocery shopping and then like so we're
hosting a big party next weekend and then
(42:51):
we're doing the meets for the party on the fourth so it's just like we have
like a lot of expenses so now every expense is is this a want or is this a need
and i'm not going to spend the money on something that's going to collect dust
yeah so that's why i didn't get the weights yep which you missed that That whole story.
But yeah, I feel like now that like we know that all the stories that we told
(43:18):
just now haven't been recorded.
They don't want to repeat them. I know. Were they not recorded?
They're recording on my end is not on their end. So they couldn't hear it live. I know.
Which I'm sorry, but we might have to just replay the short,
short section where we'll have to clip it and send it to Kayla. Yeah.
Johnson to short shorts. I'm in a short shorts and I love them.
(43:41):
They're super comfy. Short shorts.
And if you feel uncomfortable around me because I'm wearing short shorts,
I will change them into longer shorts.
That is the very cliff note version of that. I think we got those for like five
bucks and now you're obsessed.
I am so obsessed. They're like, I, if I could wear these all day,
(44:03):
every day at work, at home, I would. Oh my God. Thank you.
Would say from where i'm sitting like six to ten
inches above the knee they're almost
like ball level they are not that they are
not that high i mean if i go like that they're i mean but you're not gonna sit
like that no i'm not i'm not i'm not gonna like show them off but like right
(44:28):
now like i just like move like just natural i would say they're six to ten inches
above the knee yeah Yeah, they're short. They're short.
Like, standing up, they're probably like three inches above the knee. Yeah.
John's like, I can do so many activities in these. I'm going to stand up real quick. Okay. Let me see.
(44:51):
All right. I guess they're only like two inches above the knee standing up.
Yeah, two inches. i mean they're not that bad but i've never seen john wear
any shorts above the knee so it's like well it's like that 90s skater i mean
you know always have to be below the knee,
but right now like once you sit down these are
(45:13):
probably i mean they're they're they're short
you just wait for and he's got thick thighs so like it makes them even shorter
they are our fucking pick oh gosh i mean i i need an ego stroke right now so
(45:33):
i mean these thick thighs.
I love it when it's like, man, those are some fucking big times.
John had a meltdown at dinner last night. I did.
Meltdown. You're more than welcome to elaborate. For the first time in John's
life, he's gained weight.
(45:53):
And he doesn't quite know what to do with himself. And he's never tried to diet.
He's never done anything.
And he's fucking would eat McDonald's, Taco Bell, drink a gallon of soda a day.
And really never really gained weight. and now we eat fairly healthy and he's
starting to gain weight and the fact that he might actually have to do something
(46:14):
about it and then just getting it going,
is too much for him to handle and then trying to commit to things is too much for him to handle.
And he's just having a meltdown.
Existential crisis about it. Let me be clear, I don't care.
It gives me immense pleasure that he's gaining weight and that he's going through
this and it shouldn't, but I don't give a fuck what he looks like.
(46:36):
Like i don't care if he's gained weight i mean i
have gained a little weight but the thing is like so i'm in
my late 30s i quit drinking soda years ago
i eat healthier now than i've ever eaten
before ever and now all
of a sudden i'm gaining weight and i don't like
it i don't and it's in i
(46:59):
will say like i still have a lot of my
my build the characteristics
of like being a short stocky person i
think that's just the way it is when you don't work out but you know sometimes
well it it doesn't help too that i'm kind of in like an in-between side because
(47:21):
i'm larger than a large but smaller than an XL and I can't find any fucking clothes that like.
It's tough because i'm short i'm
not a tall dude i'm i'm below average
height these days well it's always been hard to find clothes long enough for
(47:42):
john because he's got really broad shoulders but now he's starting to get a
little bit of a belly and so it's making it even harder to find shirts that
are long enough like if i go to xl because i i was like you know what fuck it mary all right,
let's buy these XLs at Costco because that's where I'm going to close now.
Let's buy these XLs. Let's see how they work. Let's see how they look.
(48:04):
I put them on and I'm fucking drowning. It's like a goddamn blanket.
They weren't really big.
They're kind of comfy material though. Oh, they're fantastically comfy.
But if I buy the large, they're too fucking small. Like, and if I lift up my
arms, all of a sudden you see, I mean, it's a belly shirt. It's a belly and back shirt.
(48:24):
So i think that's like where most of my my
problem is is like i just don't have
like a good style right now like i don't have
clothes that fit me because i'm in between like
i either need to gain more weight or lose weight and that's where
i'm at right now because i don't we don't have access to somebody
that can just tailor your clothes all the time exactly so
(48:46):
it it's tough because like i don't want to eat my way
into the my next size so i fit into that shit because the
next size will be be too long for me and it
still won't fit it will be it will still look fun funny
and that and i probably couldn't eat
my way into the next size anyway because i'm trying
right now and it's it's fucking not working it's not
(49:07):
working you know so like i don't
know it's just it's it's awkward word buying clothes
for someone that has a 35 to
36 waist a 29 to 30 in
seam someone whose torso is
a little bit on the shorter side but my shoulders are fucking big for my statue
(49:30):
you know like i like you're broad your shoulders are broad i'm a broad shoulder
i do do push-ups every now again but i don't actively work out but my shoulders say differently.
I don't know it's just kayla we're still working up to the everyday push-ups,
(49:50):
it is when was the last time kayla was here your birthday i think so yeah that
is not the last time i've done a push-up don't look at me like that i didn't
push up last weekend or last week i'm not I got a walking pad.
If this makes you feel any better, we don't have to elaborate with all of our
awesome listeners right now.
(50:12):
I do push-ups and sit-ups every single time I take a shower. So, like, once a week?
Just said you don't have to elaborate oh oh sorry sorry fuck i mean let's be
honest neither of us shower like we're kind of a gross household you guys i
mean i shower more than once a week,
so there we go fuck okay twice a week a good week but every single time before
(50:40):
i get in the shower i do my push-ups my sit-ups and then i shower so what i'm
hearing is that we just need better I need to shower more.
But for real, we probably do. I for sure need to shower more.
I showered yesterday during my lunch hour. I work from home,
just so everybody knows.
Because it was so bad. I was like, I can't even make it through this day.
(51:02):
I'm just going to go shower on my lunch.
Which is ridiculous. I'm like, okay, bitch, you need to shower more.
I haven't showered in like too many days. I don't even want to say.
I mean, you should have just showered because you showered on your lunch break.
Are you done before that huh well you just showered on your lunch break no but
i showered on my lunch break i didn't shower for like five days i mean i am
(51:25):
decently good about showering,
i shower more during the summer months i will say that i shower more in the winter,
because you want to be nice and warm i mean fuck
why is it so hard to take a shower i don't know
because honestly i fucking dread showering like
i hate like the thought of showering and how
(51:47):
much work showering takes and like just like exhaust me thinking about all the
steps to shower but once i get in the shower i was like i'm every single time
i'm like this is so nice like bitch you need to clean yourself more you fucking
stink yeah like do i actually stink?
No, because I still wear deodorant and brush my teeth and use dry shampoo and all this shit.
(52:11):
Also, I'm like, you're disgusting.
Five days without showering? That is not hygienic.
With how active I am at work, I should definitely at least shower once every other day.
(52:33):
Sounds a little excessive in my brain but i mean
think if like you actually worked out like
think about like working out when i worked out i showered every day yeah yeah
like when i was going spin classes and all the things i showered every day but
i i at least showered every day i worked out which i was pretty committed so
(52:54):
i probably showered every day every other day honestly.
But also like sometimes i get mad because you're like
upset about showering but i'm like you literally only have to get
in the shower and wash your body like that's it i
have to get in the shower i gotta wash my face i gotta exfoliate i gotta wash
my hair i gotta condition my hair i gotta shave and then when i get out of the
(53:18):
shower i gotta deal with my hair well you just wear a shower cap and there's
so i mean i have to wash my hair i only shower every fucking five days so So, I mean,
if you showered, like, every day and you just, like, didn't wash your hair every day.
Yeah, I mean, which is kind of what I did when I was, well, even when I was
(53:39):
going to the gym, I was washing my hair because my head would get sweaty.
But that's why I have a shower cap.
It's like a shower and not wash my hair.
I mean, maybe our New Year's resolution should have been like we should shower
more. At least twice a week. I mean, I always do that.
I'm like a we missed you too like right i would i i on average go five to six days.
(54:06):
Consistently like it is what it is
it just it's gross and you guys
can think i'm gross but it's fine i mean i will say for
sure that i definitely shower
more during the summer than i do during the
winter and you obviously shower during the
winter too yeah well in the winter i no no you shower during the winter more
(54:30):
yeah i shower during the winter less yeah because winter i'm like every other
day if not every day and during the summertime like i just feel like with with
my job like i have to shower more or else i'm just gonna get like,
You're going to get gross. I get sweaty and I get gross, so I have to shower
more. But during the wintertime, I'm just like, fuck it.
(54:53):
Who cares? Who gives a shit?
I'm going to just put deodorant and a sweater on anyway. Obviously,
my wife doesn't give a shit, so why should I give a shit?
We're both gross, so it's fine. That's fine.
But my only time that I make the shower for real happen, so I watch our bedding every other week.
(55:15):
And if i'm washing my sheets and my bedding i want my dogs clean and i want both john and i clean,
like that's the one time i care if anybody showers yeah and
actually i don't even care if you shower just don't get my clean sheets let
me have one night of it being clean i mean i have a hard time like when our
sheets are clean and these dogs fucking get in the sheets i'm like get the fuck
(55:37):
out of here like i i don't mind the dog sleeping with us i don't mind it at
all because Because, you know, whatever.
Because we're suckers. But when it's clean sheets, I just want these fucking nasty ass dogs.
Because they're nasty. They're gross. They're gross. They don't give a shit.
(55:58):
They're like my wife. They don't give a shit about hygiene.
Will you check on him? He kind of is twitching a little bit. I just want to make sure.
That's the only time I really don't give it. Like, that's the only time I really
don't want my dogs in the bed is when you or when we wash the sheets.
It's mostly you, but I help you put them together.
(56:19):
You stand there and watch me put the pillows on the pillowcases.
I distract the dogs. Well, we started out with not letting Bruno in our bed. And then I caved.
I just make it sure he was kind of twitching and moving around.
Our dogs got all the vaccines today, like all of them.
And so and then Canton had a little fever this afternoon and then Bruno after
(56:45):
Canton's broke Bruno got a little fever this evening so now I'm being like a little crazy,
making sure that they're good you okay.
And then the vet said that Bruno's fat. And then I had to educate him on the
difference between American Bassets and European Bassets and that,
uh, and that it's normal.
(57:09):
And that Bruno's still 20 pounds less than both of his parents.
And then he's like, okay, if he gains another six pounds next year,
we're going to have a different conversation.
He's like, I do not want to see Bruno gain another six pounds this year.
And you're, and we're like, he's probably gonna get another six pounds this
year so you can kind of fuck off yeah.
(57:32):
It's like we have and i
was worried about canton being too skinny because everyone said he's too skinny
and our bet was like oh he's just fucking fine but i think he's too skinny i
think he's too skinny too but we fucking feed him like wait yeah like we feed
him we feed both of them the same And Bruno's 80 pounds and Canton's 40. Yeah. Like.
(57:55):
I mean, Canton is in his terrible twos and super active and run around everywhere.
And Bruno is starting to become more sedentary. Yeah.
Probably I could cut back the human food.
That you can do. Which I've been a lot better about. Have you? Yeah.
I've been way better. I've only been sharing veggies and fruits.
(58:18):
Fruits i mean i was gonna say like i don't mind if they
get human food like if you share your banana yeah don't
mind at all yeah you know i've like if you have a piece of
broccoli because you're not gonna eat it that's fine yeah i've
like cut way back yeah way back
or an apple i'm not like full-on sharing my lunch
with him anymore oh that was a big one yeah it actually kind of scared me because
(58:42):
i saw it in like my i heard it in the through the window yeah yeah so there
There was like a little while there where I was like full blown,
like sharing my lunches with the dogs.
Like I would like the spaghetti sauce off the noodles and then make like little
piles for both dogs to share with them.
So I had somebody to eat with me at lunch.
(59:05):
Isn't that, it's, isn't that like interesting?
Because like when we used to live in Washington, like you were just always so go, go, go, go, go.
Like you didn't give a shit. it like if you had a lunch you'd
scrub it down and then you'd be fine but now i never had lunch before
but like you come in here like being in
i i guess you could say like a a
(59:28):
more of a slowed down lifestyle like not everything is so like you have to go
you have to like always be on your top game right it is when things slow down
sometimes it's not for the best,
I don't know I've learned to adjust and now it's nice I actually like after
(59:50):
I got over that little humpy hump.
Like to be somewhere like not as fast paced as we were and not as slow as we
are if that makes sense and what else is fucking crazy is you guys I used to be like psycho,
about human food for dogs,
like psycho like I would get fucking mad at people if they gave my dog human food,
(01:00:17):
and now I'm like not so much Odie but more Bruno I mean Odie,
two no od i was like psycho i would never give
him human food ever but unless
it fell on the ground yeah like if they were crumbs on the ground that's okay
but never like physically hand him human food ever love that dog and bruno and
(01:00:38):
me we share my lunch but i i only share i share my bananas in the morning and
then like today i was eating apples so i gave him a little Little pieces of apple.
And then if I'm eating cheese, I share some cheese.
I mean, you share the stuff that's
good for dogs. Yeah. I'm not sharing my spaghetti lunch anymore. Yeah.
(01:01:00):
Which is fine. It's probably for the best. Yeah. No. So, anyhow,
we're going to put them on a little.
We're going to follow Beth's orders on feeding.
Well, I mean, maybe. Maybe, but we paid $250 to not listen to the advice.
It's funny. It's funny. Cause when we first moved up here, like just to kind
(01:01:25):
of backstory off what Mary was saying, like I was working ridiculous hours.
Mary was pretty much by herself for like three, four or five months.
Like we used to not feed our dogs, people food.
I still don't like people food. it
was if they got something from people food
it was because they did something good it
(01:01:46):
was a banana it was something healthy it was super
it was like a super treat to get
a piece of dog like human food for the dog right it was like christmas it was
like christmas exactly thanksgiving dinner or whatever and like like one day
i just noticed you know that bruno specifically was like.
(01:02:11):
A little bit not begging but just like kind
of like waiting for something at the feet
of mary right waiting for something and
like i was looking i was like hmm he's never really done that
or i haven't paid attention to it i've been so busy like i just can't
i haven't been able to like engage with
my family right and like to be
(01:02:32):
fair you were working like 80 hour weeks you were traveling for
work like you just were not home and i just
wasn't home and then like once i started and notice like some of
the patterns that i haven't noticed before i was like okay so
now bruno is hanging out
at her feet every now and again he'll scratch mary
and then like he'll just sit there at
(01:02:52):
me and like pa i was like i'm being a good boy
and i was like what the fuck is going on here and
then like bruno totally told on
his mom and he and i was like bruno
has mom been giving you fucking human food
you know and he's just like waiting for
it totally tattletale and he's like i'm gonna
(01:03:15):
get it dad like this is this is
good like this is normal like i get bananas in the morning i get an apple at
lunch i get a piece of cheese as well you know if mom made fucking some rice-a-roni
or fucking you know not rice-a-roni chef bore rd you know damn well mom Mom
(01:03:36):
gave me some of that fucking noodle.
I'm just sitting here like, God damn, Mary, how much have you been feeding these dogs human food?
She's like, well, I don't like to eat alone, you know, which is understandable.
I don't like eating alone either.
Well, I went from not ever having a lunch. If I did have a lunch,
it was like eat it as fast as I can.
Get back to work to like working from home, being alone, like not being around people at all.
(01:04:04):
I'm not bitching because I'm, like, pretty grateful for the job I have because
I do get to be at home with my dogs. Okay.
Like, they were my only friends. And so I'm like, you guys want to have lunch with me today?
And they did. And I loved it. We've found a good balance. Yeah,
we have. I made some work friends.
(01:04:25):
I talk to them now while I eat. Yeah. Instead of feed my dogs. For sure.
But anyway, I think that's all we have tonight.
That's all I got. Thanks for joining us. It was good to see all you guys. sorry
you guys didn't get to listen to half the show but you
know yeah sorry we're gonna try to make it more of a priority we don't even
(01:04:49):
know what's happening with everybody's lives right now we're the whole pod bean
world i'm not even on my own instagram anymore so i don't even know like i don't
even get on social media i know i feel like a terrible person like,
mary and i like we have definitely disconnected from the world in a lot of ways
is and maybe in a lot of ways we should reconnect agreed so we're gonna try to be more consistent,
(01:05:13):
but definitely happy i know we haven't been on here but you hadn't been on here
forever either i know it we hadn't either honestly i haven't like tuned in and
listened to anybody or any we haven't podcast in three months november i think
november okay so it's been a minute it's we're We're just,
we're, I don't know.
(01:05:35):
Anywho, but I'm happy to see all your faces for sure. We're trying to make it more of a thing.
We're trying to figure out a day that works best for us and work it out.
But until then, you'll get sporadic. We'll be random.
All right. You guys have a good night. Thanks for coming in and hanging out with us. We love you all.
Music.
Music.
(00:35):
Welcome, welcome back to the
Terrphy Show, the long-awaited, the long-anticipated, we're fucking back.
We are fucking back. And by we, I mean the John Man and the beautiful,
the lovely, the amazing Miss Mary.
(00:57):
Welcome, welcome everyone. The way John hyped that up, it's like he made it
sound like we're committed and we're committed.
But that just put a lot of pressure. That was pressure. That was a lot of pressure.
That was a lot of pressure.
I mean, whenever we do something, like whenever we're coming back and whenever
(01:17):
we're doing another podcast, I just feel like, you know, we're here,
right? And you got to make the most of it.
And, well, we could do this every week again. Or we could take another three-month
hiatus. I don't know. Who knows? Who knows?
I don't know. I don't know. I don't want it to turn into another life update.
(01:40):
I mean, I'll give you guys a life update. I just don't want it to be our usual
excuse. We're so busy. We live by our families now.
Yeah, and we have friends and all the bloody, bloody, bloody junk that no one
really gives a shit about. Nobody cares.
Nobody cares. Unless you're trying to manage through that. And in that case,
there's no managing through it. Yeah, there's not. Our solution right now is to move.
(02:05):
Yeah ignore and move that is
our solution avoid all responsibilities that is
such an adhd millennial thing to do just like run
away from your problems i know i would love to run away from
my problems right now you know how many times we've ran away from our problems
so many i think this last time we didn't run away from our problems this last
time we ran to our problems and i think that's the problem you know what i don't
(02:29):
think you're wrong there like that is the problem we ran towards our problems.
We ran towards our problems, like straight up, like uprooted our lives to come
home to solve all our problems. That was a mistake.
That was a huge mistake. And I'm not sure how many of those problems are actually solved.
(02:50):
I mean, some of them kind of like.
Some of them got solved, I guess. I suppose.
You know, in the sense of, like, we knew the outcome of those problems,
and that's, like, some of the reasons we were moving here.
And, like, nature kind of took its course. But the ripple effect of those problems
(03:10):
we're still dealing with. Yeah.
We are. And now I just want to run away from my problems again.
So I think that's our advice. That is John and Mary's advice.
Run away from your problems. Run away from your problems.
I mean, I think it's great advice. Yeah. But for real, you can't run from your
problems. They're going to catch up to you one way or another.
(03:32):
I mean, it took 15 years for us to come back and deal with our problems that
we had beforehand, I guess.
Which a lot of it was family induced and stuff like that. I suppose that our
problems did come back to us.
But on the same sense like we also
(03:53):
gained a lot in
those 15 years if we hadn't quote unquote
ran away from our problems the first time i i
don't think we ran away from our problem we ran away from our problems last
time but we were also chasing our dreams i think i think we ran away from a
situation yeah but sorry i think that if we hadn't done that we wouldn't be
(04:18):
able to set the hard boundaries that we have set that are not hard enough,
yeah and i feel like we have like such solid boundaries but it still is like,
we're like the conversation is constantly i don't want to say constantly but you know it's.
At least in my mind, there is a constant, what boundaries do I need to set?
(04:43):
Because this X, Y, and Z is too much or, you know, what do we set in place to protect our own peace?
I think boundaries are hard. They are hard. Like, no matter if they're boundaries
with yourself or your significant other or your family, like, boundaries are hard.
(05:04):
Like, right now, I should set myself some boundaries with my personal self, right?
Yeah, you need a lot of boundaries right now with your personal self.
I probably do. I'm trying to let you run your course. And, like...
And, by the way, married women, sometimes you just gotta let them run their course.
I mean, I've done five projects today, and not one of them have gotten done. Not one of them.
(05:30):
Not my problem, not your problem. them i mean it's kind of my problem at least
you cleaned up after yourself for the most part today,
i mean there was a point in time where i was like i just gotta sit
down and reconvene with
myself on what i'm doing i left
john out unsupervised was the problem you did
(05:51):
leave me unsupervised that was the problem i mean
usually i do pretty well but that's how
saturdays used to be for us though you would
leave me unsupervised from 8 a.m
until 2 and i just
had the world was my oyster and some of
it was fruitful like some of it was good
(06:13):
i did used to give you a list so maybe i need to give you a
list again the problem is with the fucking list is you are here with me yeah
so i don't like usually you and i when we're together we will abolish everything
thing and we'll just go do whatever the fuck we want yeah like there's no list
you want me to go back to working saturdays no that sounds terrible.
(06:36):
But on the other end, like when you did work Saturdays, you give me a list.
And I was like, all right, I got a complete marriage list. And then I do the shit that I want to do.
But now it's like we are we both have Saturdays off, which is kind of miserable.
Not having Saturdays off together.
Having Saturday be one of your days off. I think I would rather I will die on this deal.
(07:01):
I wish that John and I had Sunday, Monday off together. Now,
I will take Saturdays because those are the days John has off.
So I'm fine having Saturdays off. I would rather have Saturdays off with him
than not have them off with him.
But I wish that we had Sunday, Monday.
Because adulting on a Saturday is so frustrating.
(07:24):
I agree. Because if we had Sunday, Monday off, we could both get off 5 o'clock, what have you.
We could do some of the fun stuff that we've planned with either our friends
or if we wanted to go out and have some dinner whatever we could still do saturday nighttime activities,
and not be pressured to get all this shit done on saturday morning because like
(07:51):
there's a laundry list because mary and i we try to get everything on our laundry
list done on saturday we exhaust
ourselves to the point where saturday evening comes around we are still exhausting
ourselves and it goes into sunday we spend half a sunday working on this stupid fucking list,
and then we finally sit down and we're both exhausted we're both tired we're
(08:13):
both sore we're both sweaty as fuck and then we have to decompress defrag get
ready for the work week get ready for the work week meal prep if that's what
we do which we'd still have to do all of that if we had Sunday, Monday,
but the big difference is, is being able to do your errands on a Monday when
(08:34):
nobody else is out and about cuts your errand time in like.
I agree and then here we don't have the option on sunday because we live in rural america,
religious rural america right now and nothing
is open on sunday like is it rural though
like would you consider this rural i guess
(08:56):
we're now more of a like we're in more of a city a
large town maybe yeah we're like a large town by
the way i didn't know these pouches were here like i like i
just leave pouches wherever i go i guess apparently me too
honestly there's one left yeah but heavily
religious so like everything's closed on sunday yeah i
(09:17):
mean i guess some of the grocery
stores are open we can still do
costco costco i think
depending on the holiday so i've
gone to the mall it's been open on a sunday and then i've also gone
to the mall it's been closed on sunday so i don't
i don't yeah but even like minor
(09:39):
holidays like our target is closed on some like that it normally wouldn't be
closed on i mean they take holidays off to where they're not bank holidays and
they're just like religious holidays holidays because they know no one's gonna
shop there so they just fucking close down it's yeah it's i don't know it's wild
actually i mean fuck man like which is fine everybody should have holidays but.
(10:07):
Sometimes it's annoying you know i mean i'm used to
a 24 hour 365 day
hustle and bustle door the only days you get off are fucking thanksgiving
and christmas and the people
that are working on christmas are usually asian because they don't celebrate
christmas and you get bomb ass chinese food you know just like everywhere else
(10:28):
i don't know or like a lot of other people i knew that worked like christmas
and thanksgiving took like the double pay,
you know like at the gas stations and stuff and i
don't expect people to work on thanksgiving or christmas let me be clear but
i mean and maybe it's because i spent the first i do because i worked those
(10:52):
days let's see i started working at 14 i didn't get a work from home job till
The first 20 years of my working life, working weekends,
I was 30 before I got Sundays off.
If you're living in any type of service industry, you just expect to work.
But I would say 80% of that service industry is at least getting double time
(11:19):
for holiday pay on top of their pay that they're working. They're getting something.
So it's worth it for them. I mean, I've worked Easter.
As a hairdresser before i mean i work all holidays all holidays and leading
up to the holidays unless it's on like a sunday or a weekend where i normally
don't work i usually work the holidays i think we get six paid holidays to where
(11:43):
like my establishment is actually closed,
throughout the year i mean you were on call for christmas last year yeah i was
on call so if there's something going on, like, I'm still fucking working.
Yeah. You know, just because I'm home doesn't mean I'm not working. Right.
I don't know how we got there. Oh, because I think that Aaron,
(12:06):
like, I kind of wish we had Sunday and Monday off so that we could get our errands done in less time.
And it's so stressful on Saturdays, too.
Like, just because there's so many people out and about and,
like, it's crowded and you have to wait in line and all the things.
And it's fine. Like, we're nice. We're polite. We do all the things.
But I know the grocery store was tough today.
(12:28):
Yeah, it was a little bit. I mean, it didn't help that I was, like.
I was hangry i usually don't get hangry but i was like at the point like i need to.
Fucking eat some food yeah you know when i'm there and then i know if i'm hungry i know mary's hungry,
and like she was more patient than i was today but like
(12:50):
we kind of deflected on each other and our patience
was like more running thin on each other than the
people which normally doesn't to happen like we
could usually you know take the situation it's like
oh it's the situation that's pissing us off but today it
was more we're pissing each other off for no reason except
for it's busy on a saturday and we're both hungry i actually
(13:11):
told you to go sit in the fucking car i thought about it i wish you would have
i mean but we got everything done then we need to get done i came home i helped
you portion out beef i didn't want to do that you know but that's the thing
with If we don't do it right that minute, the shit's not getting done.
And you're right. You're right. You're 100% right. I am not going to argue with that.
(13:36):
If we don't get that shit done, we're not going to fucking do it.
Because we only have Saturday, Sunday off. We don't have that Sunday, Monday.
And then we have so many obligations. Like right now, July is completely full
for Saturdays and Sundays that we have family or friend obligations.
(13:56):
So anyway, it has turned into how fucking busy we are. I'm sorry, you guys.
Anyhow, we established today that we do not live in a simulation.
That is a great point. So there's a lot of simulation theories out there.
And one of the main culprits of that is have you ever seen your neighbor's bring in groceries?
(14:22):
And up to this point, Mary and I, we have never seen our neighbor's.
And we were like, we're totally down for this theory because we have never seen it.
In almost 17 years of being together, we have never seen our neighbors bring
in groceries. Except for today.
But I'm not even sure they were bringing in groceries. I saw a bag of chips and a box of chips.
(14:43):
I think they were at a party and bringing stuff home, but still groceries.
It's still technically groceries.
And I've never had, I mean, I guess our neighbors in Washington we talked to quite a bit, but.
I mean, I would say we talk to our neighbors here as much as we talk to the
neighbors in Washington. Maybe I just liked them a lot better.
Yes, there is that. But we still, I mean, even if we don't like the interactions
(15:09):
we're having with our neighbors right now, we are still having those interactions.
Yeah, and they're kind. They're very kind.
We have very nice neighbors that want to bring in their groceries. i
feel like we are better set
up here to be nosy neighbors
through the window than we were in our last house yeah for sure so like we've
had a lot more opportunity to you know spy make judgment yeah yeah so we live
(15:35):
in like an inlet in a cul-de-sac it's like a big view and there's three of us
and we are the middle house and we are the middle house we see everything like Like,
not only the neighbors to our left and the right,
but we can see, like, down each sides of the street for a little ways.
Like, we can see the neighborhood. We can see the fucking drum. Yeah.
Which is something I didn't think I would like, you know, because,
(15:59):
like, our old house, you had to fucking walk, I swear to God, 13 miles to the mailbox,
and it was tucked in between houses, and yet it was a long-ass driveway. Mm-hmm.
But there's a little part of me that kind of likes the fucking drama.
Oh, you like watching the neighbors? Oh, yeah.
Like, whenever there's a fight going on with our other neighbor,
(16:20):
like, I turn down the TV, I listen, I'm all in. I want to know what they're
fighting about, though.
I mean, maybe we'll catch on. I don't know. I don't know. They fight a lot.
They do fight a lot. The neighbors to the right of us, not the really nice ones, they fight a lot.
Like, sometimes I wonder if I should call the police fight a lot.
But i didn't think we'd be like this in
(16:42):
tune to the drama this invested in the
neighborhood yeah but like we're the ones that
are looking out the window i know like our neighbors names and with like
the lights off and you know like oh let's see what the fuck's going on here
like we are definitely those neighbors like if you have those neighbors they're
probably like if you live in a cul-de-sac there is definitely a neighbor that
(17:02):
is spying not spying but listening and we judged remember that guy in washington
that knew they on all the neighbors.
The grandpa guy, he'd walk his little dog. I kind of judged him for being so
nosy because I'm like, dude, you kind of need to mind your business a little bit more.
But now I'm like, if somebody, if I was walking and somebody asked me a question
(17:23):
about my neighbor, I would know the answer just like him.
Like I liked that guy. That guy was a, yeah, he was a character.
It was a character for sure.
It's amazing how many like different people you, you come across in your life,
like living somewhere. And then it's like core memory.
It's a core memory. And then, you know, like that guy, he was just like,
(17:48):
I know his family like sold his house and like he moved away.
And so I kind of know his backstory, but, and then like all of a sudden, like one day it was gone.
Then he was never there again. And never there.
And it's kind of like in our old
neighborhood the the old guy that would walk the dogs you
know like if if you
didn't see that man i was worried and i know that we've talked about this in
(18:12):
previous podcasts that i know definitely i've deleted this is kind of a new
story to you guys like there if we didn't see that person there was something
wrong so it was this think of like Up,
the old man, well,
I guess Up's dog is not old, but think of just this old man,
(18:34):
this dog that looks as old as him, going like 0.001 miles per hour walking down
the street, and you'd see him the same time every day.
I knew how late I was for work based upon where he was in his walk. It was like clockwork.
(18:55):
And it's crazy. Actually, I was part of like a neighborhood group and like some
people hadn't seen him for a couple of days.
And he was such a integrated part of the neighborhood and people's lives that
there was a post of like, hey, this might be weird, but I haven't seen this guy in a while.
(19:17):
And that post had like hundreds of comments on it to the point of like.
People were fucking worried. they yeah and like they
started coordinating meals because we found out he lived alone and all
these things and so it's kind of cool like it all like
brought like him not walking for a
couple days like enriched his life but it's like
(19:39):
the way he enriched a whole fucking neighborhood's life
and like all he was doing was walking his dog which it i don't know it was is
really cool like so i don't know i mean i'm sure i'm the like white trash lady
that's walking her basset hounds because i don't get ready when i walk my dogs
(19:59):
through the neighborhood i just like,
put some shoes on and get them out there you know and like i'm sure like half
the time because during the springtime and fall time you're the one that's doing
most of the walking because Because you walk them earlier because the weather's nicer.
And you walk them when you get off. And then I come home.
(20:21):
But during the summertime, I help you walk the dogs. Because we wait a little
bit longer in the day until it's cooled down.
I'm sure some of these people are like, who the fuck is this guy? Yeah, for sure.
You know, and you're in jammas or whatever, however you walk the dog.
And I'm usually in work clothes. So it's a little bit nicer.
(20:41):
Are in there like who the fuck thinking like
i wonder what our perception is
too and then i also worry because we so think
of like the movies and like or even like the 50s and little kids in a cul-de-sac
like riding their bikes through and all the parents knowing everybody our neighborhood's
(21:01):
very much so this way so like this week the ice cream truck came through our
like little neighborhood, our little cul-de-sac,
and the ice cream man was taunting us.
So we live in like, there's probably what, four rows of houses and it's kind
of like a little maze through our cul-de-sacs.
I would say if you would picture like the Sandlot and they're riding their bikes
(21:27):
through the neighborhoods, that's what our neighborhood looks like.
It's just like a 1960s cookie cutter neighborhood.
Not 2020 or 2010 cookie cutter. It's a 1960s cookie cutter neighborhood.
You know, every house is the same. They have a front yard. They have a backyard.
You know, all the houses are moderately like, you know, they're not small,
(21:52):
but they're good sized houses.
You know, like you can have a family of four family of five 1960s Sandlot style
when they're running, like riding their bikes.
That's what our neighborhood looks like. you know cul-de-sacs neighborhoods
trees fucking grass yeah i mean it's a
cute fucking very developed lawns like and
most everybody's kind of redone that their yards and
(22:13):
their houses and i don't want to say fully updated i
feel like our neighborhood's done a good job like keeping it true to
like middle class middle
america usa but still making it like
look clean and nice and well yeah everything looks
nice like like there there's a few houses
that look dumpy and mine might be one of them i don't know
(22:36):
because i have there both two of them
are for sale one of them is just they have like five families living there but
for the most part everyone keeps the neighborhood vibe alive yeah so we come
out we finally decide okay we're gonna take the dogs we're gonna go chase down
the ice cream man and we come outside and our neighbor is like
(22:58):
hi guys and we're like hey we're getting ready to chase down the
ice cream man and he's like well you better follow the
kids because they're on the way and i shit you not it was probably like 10
15 little kids on their fucking bikes pedaling their asses off running behind
the kids without bikes were running behind to chase down the ice cream man and
it was like the cutest shit what's up casey beeps yeah it was cute as shit because
(23:22):
like everyone i mean it's we are.
You know not the dead of summer we're at the beginning of summer it's hot it's nice outside,
and i just feel like there is no better sound than an ice cream truck running
through like rolling through your neighborhood also part of me like until we
(23:45):
moved here didn't think neighborhoods like this still existed and it kind of
gives me a little hope for like the next
generation yeah i mean it is fun i
mean there we have ups and downs where where we live but this neighborhood and
the house that we live in it does make me happy can you just say mary you were
(24:06):
right in what aspect oh bad aspect mary you were right thank you.
But in my defense, the pictures made it look so fucking small.
I know. You guys, so I fell in love with this house before we even left Washington.
And I was like, I want this house.
And we probably looked at like 50 houses and they'd get sold or they weren't
(24:28):
like right for us or, you know, whatever it was.
And I was like, John, I just want this house. Like, this is the house.
House and like honestly it was
it came to the point where we looked at
so many houses i was like you know let's just i think
we can make this happen you know because the pictures made
(24:48):
it look super small like i couldn't i wasn't
i'm not creative enough to
like see my own stuff in a place
so i just wasn't seeing what mary
was seeing obviously mary is a little bit
more creative and like these type of things than i am like she
was she was able to see like our stuff in here and
(25:11):
i wasn't able to do that so i was like i don't like this fucking house you
know it's just small like it's i i
didn't want to say beat up but it needed a little bit of work and like i knew
like with my job like i wasn't going to be able to like fix things up and blah
blah blah but like we ended up getting the house and then like it was the best
choice and mary was 100 right and let me be clear Our house is not small,
(25:35):
and I actually feel like it's too big.
I mean, it is a smaller house. I mean, but we still have a four-bedroom house.
I mean, but from the pictures, it looked like you couldn't fit your shoes in there.
Like, laundry rooms, a master closet. If you look at the pictures,
when you're looking at the real estate pictures, it looks like if I put a chair
(25:58):
in there, a single-person chair, it wasn't going to fit.
They definitely did not market this house well. They did not. They did not.
But Mary was right. Mary was right. And I will give her 100% credit.
The reason we have this house is because Mary fell in love with it,
you know, when we very first started even looking in this market.
(26:20):
And she was correct. And I give her, you know, she should have full credit because,
shit, we're living here and we both agree that this is the best part of living where we're at.
It's our little neighborhood in our house. but sometimes i i don't know this
is like the type of shit i think about but because we're like
(26:42):
i wonder what our neighbors think about us because we we
have no kids but a lot of
the kids play in our yard because we get a bunch of leaves and then
they'll steal our leaves and then take them to their yard and
then their parents get mad but that's all another story but like
if the kids are out playing in my lease i'll give them snacks or whatever
and then like they always have to put at my dogs and we're the
(27:03):
only adults like chasing down the ice cream man with
his pack of kids and two dogs and
two dogs and i'm like i wonder what they fucking think of us like
i'm sure they have opinions yeah and i'm sure of it because they have to because
we have opinions about our neighbors well and we uber a lot like if we're gonna
go out and even have two beers we uber because neither of our jobs are worth
(27:27):
risking over having a couple beers at dinner or going out with our friends.
So we just always Uber. And so they probably think we're alcoholics too.
I mean, they could, but if they're in the same boat as we are,
they've never seen us bring any of that in. Exactly. Exactly.
Like speaking of house though, and it's interesting and hard and tough.
(27:55):
And it pisses me off so bad. So I've pretty much started my backyard,
my front yard, from scratch. Grassy scratch.
Right? And I am trying my fucking damnedest to make sure it's a green yard,
it looks good, like everything is kosher.
(28:15):
And I, for the life of me, can just not get this yard to look good.
And it just pisses me off
so bad i spend so much fucking time
on this yard i i
water it like i spend more time on this
yard than i should spend then i spend on my wife and i
(28:37):
should spend more time with my wife i know that but the yard needs attention
i'm sure my wife needs attention too but i give it to my yard and i just cannot
there's always something wrong with it like Like now there's grass dying and
I water it and it pisses me off.
And there's yellow grass and there's weeds when there shouldn't be weeds growing
(29:00):
up. I was like, what the fuck?
You know, like I'm trying so hard. Do you know what I think the problem is? I'm trying too hard.
We need to get you some tube socks and some fucking New Balance.
I don't think you have the appropriate attire. You're like so close to the appropriate
attire. You got the flappy hat. You got the safety glasses.
(29:22):
But we need to get you some New Balance instead of your work boots that you wear.
You might be on to something. I think it's just the attire. It's like the grass
knows that you're not a dad.
And it just knows that. So it's confused. It's confused.
All right. I could see that. So, if I put on some white New Balance,
(29:43):
brand new, stain them up with some grass, you know, make them look all green and shit,
tube socks, up to my fucking calves, I think you're on to something.
And a polo. You gotta wear polo with it.
Give you some khaki shorts. Are they jorts or khaki shorts?
Khaki shorts. Right. Because I could get some jorts, too.
(30:05):
Like, I'm pretty sure I could rock some jorts right now. You're gonna do the
short shorts at this time, point in your life.
I do like some short shorts. You're like into the short shorts. They're fucking comfy.
Casey Beaves is in the life and she's coming to visit us in two weeks?
Close enough. Three weeks. For context. Okay, Casey Beaves, you just wait until
(30:26):
you see these John's new shorts.
They're comfy. Like they're non-restrictive. Like it's pretty much like wearing underwear.
Because you're you, you're going to boost them up and tell them how great they fucking look.
And I don't care that he wears them at home and stuff, but I for sure,
if it were anybody but you coming to visit, I would probably discourage him
(30:49):
from wearing them. Are they too revealing?
With guests? Babe, they're pretty short.
Like, they're pretty short. Are they? I mean, they're comfy. I mean, I don't care.
Like, it's fine, like, for being at home, but they're short.
I mean, if it makes KCBs uncomfortable, I will definitely change them.
Oh, I don't think they're, like, that kind of short.
(31:11):
Like, they're not, like, make somebody uncomfortable short.
I mean, they are comfortable, though.
I mean, they're definitely, like... I mean, I have so much freedom.
When you're sitting like that, they're definitely shorter than,
like, my biker shorts that I wear under dresses. this.
So I'm sitting with one foot on the ground and one foot on like a ottoman and.
(31:35):
It's actually a Costco case, but I'm using it as an ottoman.
I'm super comfy right now, but I'm kind of like somewhat spread eagle and it's fantastic.
I hate that fucking tank top though. I think I might throw it away.
I don't like this tank top either.
The only reason I wear this is because for one, it's comfy and for two,
like it's It's my bedtime fucking tank top.
(31:58):
We're going to get you a new tank top. All right. Well, give me a new tank top,
like bedtime tank top, and I will
throw this away. I don't want to wear my Disney ones to bed. Right now.
Tank top. Men's tank tops. I
do not want to wear my Disney ones to bed because I adore and love those.
But anyway, can we get back to the grass? Yeah.
So, all I got to do, new balance, tube socks, short shorts, fucking...
(32:22):
Do you want it the same material?
Hat thing. yeah it's a comfy material the hat
safety glasses some earplugs and then
my grass is gonna be green right yep all right i'm on like i i'm in on this
shit like i will go full blown because i'm tired not having a green grass with
(32:43):
how much work i put in this shit how about just quick dry quick Quick dry is fine.
I could get down some quick dry. I just wanted to be light and thin for when I'm sleeping.
How about men's three-pack quick dry workout tank top?
Gym muscle T fitness bodybuilding sleeveless t-shirt.
(33:06):
You had me at fucking muscle. Do you want a multi?
You had me at muscle. These are kind of expensive.
I love muscles. I'm not buying you those. Okay, never mind.
Get me the fat guy one they're 30 a piece
a piece a piece fuck that for something i'm just gonna sleep in how about amazon
essentials 10 40 like i'm not i'm not trying to go to the gym and you know flex
(33:29):
and shit but if they're gonna make me look good look good while i'm sleeping
i'm all about it how about amazon essentials regular fit tank top regular fit means for skinny people,
and have you seen these shoulders lately it's a tank top though it looks pretty long,
What size? Large?
Sure. Yeah. I don't know. Let's try large.
(33:52):
So Casey Beaves, I was in the store today and Mary denied me.
I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, sweet Jesus. Because like,
I want to get into weightlifting and Mary denied me weights.
I was going to buy them. I made a deal with you six months ago and you have
not even done it once. It's been a month.
It's been way long. And I have done it a few times, just not every single day for a month straight.
(34:14):
So Mary said, if I worked out,
push-ups sit-ups i said if i
don't care what you do i said if you consistently work out so
like i was gonna buy like a gym membership and i
i figured i'm never gonna go to the fucking gym i'm never gonna do that because
it's just not in my time frame of when i could do things so i'm just not gonna
(34:39):
do it but i wanted some weights you know like that i can have in my laundry
room in case you know what my laundry room looks like,
that I could just work out, do my thing.
Easy 20 minutes before I go to work.
And she said bitch if you start doing pushups and sit ups for 30 days straight,
(35:03):
I will buy you some weights.
And I said Okay, first of all I didn't say it like that. I said okay.
Well I haven't done the 30 day straight yet. I haven't done that.
I've been working towards it. I'll do like twice a week, which isn't 30 days
straight, but I guess the moral of the story is at least I'm working up to it.
(35:25):
But we saw some cheap weights at the big doll outlet and Mary denied me because
I have not done it 30, 30 days straight.
So I didn't deny you. Well, part of it was that the other part is,
is we have spent an ungodly amount of money in less than 24 hours.
Like my paycheck in less than 24 hours. So like an extra $40 for something that's
(35:53):
going to collect dust is it.
We're kind of at a, do we want it or do we need it moment? Because we've spent so much fucking money.
We are pretty good at that spending money. And so it really is right now.
Every purchase is going to be, is this a want or is this an actual need?
Because we went on a very nice date night that was it it was expensive yeah
(36:16):
i mean that was expensive it was more than i thought it was gonna be it was
more than i thought it was gonna be too.
We basically went to i don't even want well it's not michelin star expensive but it was definitely,
fine dining it was one step below fine dining.
It'll be here the first. But was it worth it? Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
(36:39):
And we knew that was coming and we budgeted for it. And then we took the dogs
in today and that was another huge purchase.
And then we bought groceries for the week and then all the things.
I mean, you don't think about this when you own pets.
We know it because we've owned pets for the last almost 17 years.
(37:01):
Years but the dogs your lease are fucking expensive yeah welcome welcome welcome how are you what's up,
i haven't seen you in a while taking them back like every year we were like
oh we need to take the dogs in for your lease and it is fucking expensive bill
because all the vaccines they need and the checkups and their wellnesses and
(37:21):
their medicine and their total trims yeah Yeah. Oof.
Yeah. So, you guys are doggy. It's scared of the boom boom.
Oh, yep. Well, you just get to bitch to Kayla in person as well about me not
letting you buy the weights.
Oh, yeah. That too. Mm-hmm. Yep. I mean, there's so much, Kayla,
(37:44):
that you're either going to have to re-listen to this.
Or you just have to hear when you come. Yeah.
There's been quite a few drama sessions. It's drama. Our house is drama.
Like serious drama. I mean, it makes it fun though, right? I think we're good.
(38:06):
You guys, my big baby dog is scared of boom booms.
I mean, that's actually why we decided to podcast tonight. To be quite honest,
we were going to have a fire in the backyard.
Just chill out. Drink some coffee. tales but the
the fireworks this year are just a
little too much for a doggy and so we
(38:28):
are i'm probably gonna spend fourth of july
in the basement watching a movie because which means we'll probably be podcasting
and he was so fine for quite a while but i don't know he got so upset last weekend
when they were letting off the big booms that he like was shaking and panting
and And he threw up and who's in like such distress.
(38:51):
But I think because the everybody sets off like big fireworks here.
So it's not like, oh, one or two like real big ones.
Like, it's like every firework is giant as shit.
And so I think that America. Yeah, America.
And he was like outside during a real big one, like alarm set off one.
(39:13):
He was like, he was. Let me set the scene.
So our big dog.
80 pounds sitting there popping a
squat taking a nice huge big bruno
shit and these aren't little like fucking
little dog shits these are big fucking turds these are big fucking turds our
(39:34):
dog walker used to call me and be like he had a big poop today yeah like they're
not these little tiny fucking poops that that you see on on the youtubes or
whatever they're big poops so he's He's mid-poop,
and one of these big,
huge fucking mortars goes off and just scares the fucking crap out of him.
(39:57):
Well, mortar goes off, car alarms start going off.
And he's just like, nope, goes inside. So now every single tiny little...
Like, even a firecracker goes off.
You could throw, like, one of those, like... Pop-it ones. The pop-it ones,
the ones that you just throw on the ground and they make snaps.
Apps like he's scared of those now because
that's how like traumatizing it was i
(40:19):
mean we got mr bruno during
like it was still like covid and
it was still no one was hanging out really so he
hasn't really experienced like too much fireworks and not like
this kind of fireworks because our neighbor beforehand when
we moved in what like lived in washington he had like
(40:40):
the big shit it always set off our car our car alarms
kc beeps could attest to this our car
alarms were always fucking going off when he was lighting off fireworks and they
were fun and our last dog like he didn't really give two shits like he's as
long as he was inside during it he was fine no he didn't really give a fuck
so bruno like he hasn't really experienced like that much of the fireworks and
(41:04):
then it just so happened to come at a time where he was taking a shit he was vulnerable
like his parents were inside you know it was just and now he's a friend of them.
So but i mean i guess it worked out because it forced us downstairs and we're
like well we should podcast and now he's passed out on the blanket my brother
(41:24):
uses and my brother fucking hates my dog's dog hair he likes my dogs but he
don't like the hair which nobody fucking likes the dog hair, but,
it's funny to me right now, because Bruno's got the slobber all over the pillow.
He uses dog hair on the...
(41:44):
He's wrapped in the comforter. I wish I could show you guys right now.
Don't worry, Casey. They'll be washed by the time you get back.
Oh, no. Well, I was going to wash them regardless, since...
She won't use that blanket it's too hot yeah so but
i i like i'll watch it obviously i'll watch
the pillowcases and the sheets and all of that
shit before she comes plus my brother's been
(42:06):
sleeping in them she don't want to fucking sleep in those after my brother so
like one of the the biggest reasons we
stopped podcasting as much is we
just had a wild ass dog right and then
we moved tier then we had two wild ass dogs and now
they're like finally getting to the point to where we could podcast and them
not being wild ass dogs you know and
(42:28):
we got like really fucking busy and
we got really busy don't want to blame everything
on the dogs but you know but yeah
so we went to the vet today for the yearly checkup spent a
shit ton of money last night went to the vet today did our
grocery shopping and then like so we're
hosting a big party next weekend and then
(42:51):
we're doing the meets for the party on the fourth so it's just like we have
like a lot of expenses so now every expense is is this a want or is this a need
and i'm not going to spend the money on something that's going to collect dust
yeah so that's why i didn't get the weights yep which you missed that That whole story.
But yeah, I feel like now that like we know that all the stories that we told
(43:18):
just now haven't been recorded.
They don't want to repeat them. I know. Were they not recorded?
They're recording on my end is not on their end. So they couldn't hear it live. I know.
Which I'm sorry, but we might have to just replay the short,
short section where we'll have to clip it and send it to Kayla. Yeah.
Johnson to short shorts. I'm in a short shorts and I love them.
(43:41):
They're super comfy. Short shorts.
And if you feel uncomfortable around me because I'm wearing short shorts,
I will change them into longer shorts.
That is the very cliff note version of that. I think we got those for like five
bucks and now you're obsessed.
I am so obsessed. They're like, I, if I could wear these all day,
(44:03):
every day at work, at home, I would. Oh my God. Thank you.
Would say from where i'm sitting like six to ten
inches above the knee they're almost
like ball level they are not that they are
not that high i mean if i go like that they're i mean but you're not gonna sit
like that no i'm not i'm not i'm not gonna like show them off but like right
(44:28):
now like i just like move like just natural i would say they're six to ten inches
above the knee yeah Yeah, they're short. They're short.
Like, standing up, they're probably like three inches above the knee. Yeah.
John's like, I can do so many activities in these. I'm going to stand up real quick. Okay. Let me see.
(44:51):
All right. I guess they're only like two inches above the knee standing up.
Yeah, two inches. i mean they're not that bad but i've never seen john wear
any shorts above the knee so it's like well it's like that 90s skater i mean
you know always have to be below the knee,
but right now like once you sit down these are
(45:13):
probably i mean they're they're they're short
you just wait for and he's got thick thighs so like it makes them even shorter
they are our fucking pick oh gosh i mean i i need an ego stroke right now so
(45:33):
i mean these thick thighs.
I love it when it's like, man, those are some fucking big times.
John had a meltdown at dinner last night. I did.
Meltdown. You're more than welcome to elaborate. For the first time in John's
life, he's gained weight.
(45:53):
And he doesn't quite know what to do with himself. And he's never tried to diet.
He's never done anything.
And he's fucking would eat McDonald's, Taco Bell, drink a gallon of soda a day.
And really never really gained weight. and now we eat fairly healthy and he's
starting to gain weight and the fact that he might actually have to do something
(46:14):
about it and then just getting it going,
is too much for him to handle and then trying to commit to things is too much for him to handle.
And he's just having a meltdown.
Existential crisis about it. Let me be clear, I don't care.
It gives me immense pleasure that he's gaining weight and that he's going through
this and it shouldn't, but I don't give a fuck what he looks like.
(46:36):
Like i don't care if he's gained weight i mean i
have gained a little weight but the thing is like so i'm in
my late 30s i quit drinking soda years ago
i eat healthier now than i've ever eaten
before ever and now all
of a sudden i'm gaining weight and i don't like
it i don't and it's in i
(46:59):
will say like i still have a lot of my
my build the characteristics
of like being a short stocky person i
think that's just the way it is when you don't work out but you know sometimes
well it it doesn't help too that i'm kind of in like an in-between side because
(47:21):
i'm larger than a large but smaller than an XL and I can't find any fucking clothes that like.
It's tough because i'm short i'm
not a tall dude i'm i'm below average
height these days well it's always been hard to find clothes long enough for
(47:42):
john because he's got really broad shoulders but now he's starting to get a
little bit of a belly and so it's making it even harder to find shirts that
are long enough like if i go to xl because i i was like you know what fuck it mary all right,
let's buy these XLs at Costco because that's where I'm going to close now.
Let's buy these XLs. Let's see how they work. Let's see how they look.
(48:04):
I put them on and I'm fucking drowning. It's like a goddamn blanket.
They weren't really big.
They're kind of comfy material though. Oh, they're fantastically comfy.
But if I buy the large, they're too fucking small. Like, and if I lift up my
arms, all of a sudden you see, I mean, it's a belly shirt. It's a belly and back shirt.
(48:24):
So i think that's like where most of my my
problem is is like i just don't have
like a good style right now like i don't have
clothes that fit me because i'm in between like
i either need to gain more weight or lose weight and that's where
i'm at right now because i don't we don't have access to somebody
that can just tailor your clothes all the time exactly so
(48:46):
it it's tough because like i don't want to eat my way
into the my next size so i fit into that shit because the
next size will be be too long for me and it
still won't fit it will be it will still look fun funny
and that and i probably couldn't eat
my way into the next size anyway because i'm trying
right now and it's it's fucking not working it's not
(49:07):
working you know so like i don't
know it's just it's it's awkward word buying clothes
for someone that has a 35 to
36 waist a 29 to 30 in
seam someone whose torso is
a little bit on the shorter side but my shoulders are fucking big for my statue
(49:30):
you know like i like you're broad your shoulders are broad i'm a broad shoulder
i do do push-ups every now again but i don't actively work out but my shoulders say differently.
I don't know it's just kayla we're still working up to the everyday push-ups,
(49:50):
it is when was the last time kayla was here your birthday i think so yeah that
is not the last time i've done a push-up don't look at me like that i didn't
push up last weekend or last week i'm not I got a walking pad.
If this makes you feel any better, we don't have to elaborate with all of our
awesome listeners right now.
(50:12):
I do push-ups and sit-ups every single time I take a shower. So, like, once a week?
Just said you don't have to elaborate oh oh sorry sorry fuck i mean let's be
honest neither of us shower like we're kind of a gross household you guys i
mean i shower more than once a week,
so there we go fuck okay twice a week a good week but every single time before
(50:40):
i get in the shower i do my push-ups my sit-ups and then i shower so what i'm
hearing is that we just need better I need to shower more.
But for real, we probably do. I for sure need to shower more.
I showered yesterday during my lunch hour. I work from home,
just so everybody knows.
Because it was so bad. I was like, I can't even make it through this day.
(51:02):
I'm just going to go shower on my lunch.
Which is ridiculous. I'm like, okay, bitch, you need to shower more.
I haven't showered in like too many days. I don't even want to say.
I mean, you should have just showered because you showered on your lunch break.
Are you done before that huh well you just showered on your lunch break no but
i showered on my lunch break i didn't shower for like five days i mean i am
(51:25):
decently good about showering,
i shower more during the summer months i will say that i shower more in the winter,
because you want to be nice and warm i mean fuck
why is it so hard to take a shower i don't know
because honestly i fucking dread showering like
i hate like the thought of showering and how
(51:47):
much work showering takes and like just like exhaust me thinking about all the
steps to shower but once i get in the shower i was like i'm every single time
i'm like this is so nice like bitch you need to clean yourself more you fucking
stink yeah like do i actually stink?
No, because I still wear deodorant and brush my teeth and use dry shampoo and all this shit.
(52:11):
Also, I'm like, you're disgusting.
Five days without showering? That is not hygienic.
With how active I am at work, I should definitely at least shower once every other day.
(52:33):
Sounds a little excessive in my brain but i mean
think if like you actually worked out like
think about like working out when i worked out i showered every day yeah yeah
like when i was going spin classes and all the things i showered every day but
i i at least showered every day i worked out which i was pretty committed so
(52:54):
i probably showered every day every other day honestly.
But also like sometimes i get mad because you're like
upset about showering but i'm like you literally only have to get
in the shower and wash your body like that's it i
have to get in the shower i gotta wash my face i gotta exfoliate i gotta wash
my hair i gotta condition my hair i gotta shave and then when i get out of the
(53:18):
shower i gotta deal with my hair well you just wear a shower cap and there's
so i mean i have to wash my hair i only shower every fucking five days so So, I mean,
if you showered, like, every day and you just, like, didn't wash your hair every day.
Yeah, I mean, which is kind of what I did when I was, well, even when I was
(53:39):
going to the gym, I was washing my hair because my head would get sweaty.
But that's why I have a shower cap.
It's like a shower and not wash my hair.
I mean, maybe our New Year's resolution should have been like we should shower
more. At least twice a week. I mean, I always do that.
I'm like a we missed you too like right i would i i on average go five to six days.
(54:06):
Consistently like it is what it is
it just it's gross and you guys
can think i'm gross but it's fine i mean i will say for
sure that i definitely shower
more during the summer than i do during the
winter and you obviously shower during the
winter too yeah well in the winter i no no you shower during the winter more
(54:30):
yeah i shower during the winter less yeah because winter i'm like every other
day if not every day and during the summertime like i just feel like with with
my job like i have to shower more or else i'm just gonna get like,
You're going to get gross. I get sweaty and I get gross, so I have to shower
more. But during the wintertime, I'm just like, fuck it.
(54:53):
Who cares? Who gives a shit?
I'm going to just put deodorant and a sweater on anyway. Obviously,
my wife doesn't give a shit, so why should I give a shit?
We're both gross, so it's fine. That's fine.
But my only time that I make the shower for real happen, so I watch our bedding every other week.
(55:15):
And if i'm washing my sheets and my bedding i want my dogs clean and i want both john and i clean,
like that's the one time i care if anybody showers yeah and
actually i don't even care if you shower just don't get my clean sheets let
me have one night of it being clean i mean i have a hard time like when our
sheets are clean and these dogs fucking get in the sheets i'm like get the fuck
(55:37):
out of here like i i don't mind the dog sleeping with us i don't mind it at
all because Because, you know, whatever.
Because we're suckers. But when it's clean sheets, I just want these fucking nasty ass dogs.
Because they're nasty. They're gross. They're gross. They don't give a shit.
(55:58):
They're like my wife. They don't give a shit about hygiene.
Will you check on him? He kind of is twitching a little bit. I just want to make sure.
That's the only time I really don't give it. Like, that's the only time I really
don't want my dogs in the bed is when you or when we wash the sheets.
It's mostly you, but I help you put them together.
(56:19):
You stand there and watch me put the pillows on the pillowcases.
I distract the dogs. Well, we started out with not letting Bruno in our bed. And then I caved.
I just make it sure he was kind of twitching and moving around.
Our dogs got all the vaccines today, like all of them.
And so and then Canton had a little fever this afternoon and then Bruno after
(56:45):
Canton's broke Bruno got a little fever this evening so now I'm being like a little crazy,
making sure that they're good you okay.
And then the vet said that Bruno's fat. And then I had to educate him on the
difference between American Bassets and European Bassets and that,
uh, and that it's normal.
(57:09):
And that Bruno's still 20 pounds less than both of his parents.
And then he's like, okay, if he gains another six pounds next year,
we're going to have a different conversation.
He's like, I do not want to see Bruno gain another six pounds this year.
And you're, and we're like, he's probably gonna get another six pounds this
year so you can kind of fuck off yeah.
(57:32):
It's like we have and i
was worried about canton being too skinny because everyone said he's too skinny
and our bet was like oh he's just fucking fine but i think he's too skinny i
think he's too skinny too but we fucking feed him like wait yeah like we feed
him we feed both of them the same And Bruno's 80 pounds and Canton's 40. Yeah. Like.
(57:55):
I mean, Canton is in his terrible twos and super active and run around everywhere.
And Bruno is starting to become more sedentary. Yeah.
Probably I could cut back the human food.
That you can do. Which I've been a lot better about. Have you? Yeah.
I've been way better. I've only been sharing veggies and fruits.
(58:18):
Fruits i mean i was gonna say like i don't mind if they
get human food like if you share your banana yeah don't
mind at all yeah you know i've like if you have a piece of
broccoli because you're not gonna eat it that's fine yeah i've
like cut way back yeah way back
or an apple i'm not like full-on sharing my lunch
with him anymore oh that was a big one yeah it actually kind of scared me because
(58:42):
i saw it in like my i heard it in the through the window yeah yeah so there
There was like a little while there where I was like full blown,
like sharing my lunches with the dogs.
Like I would like the spaghetti sauce off the noodles and then make like little
piles for both dogs to share with them.
So I had somebody to eat with me at lunch.
(59:05):
Isn't that, it's, isn't that like interesting?
Because like when we used to live in Washington, like you were just always so go, go, go, go, go.
Like you didn't give a shit. it like if you had a lunch you'd
scrub it down and then you'd be fine but now i never had lunch before
but like you come in here like being in
i i guess you could say like a a
(59:28):
more of a slowed down lifestyle like not everything is so like you have to go
you have to like always be on your top game right it is when things slow down
sometimes it's not for the best,
I don't know I've learned to adjust and now it's nice I actually like after
(59:50):
I got over that little humpy hump.
Like to be somewhere like not as fast paced as we were and not as slow as we
are if that makes sense and what else is fucking crazy is you guys I used to be like psycho,
about human food for dogs,
like psycho like I would get fucking mad at people if they gave my dog human food,
(01:00:17):
and now I'm like not so much Odie but more Bruno I mean Odie,
two no od i was like psycho i would never give
him human food ever but unless
it fell on the ground yeah like if they were crumbs on the ground that's okay
but never like physically hand him human food ever love that dog and bruno and
(01:00:38):
me we share my lunch but i i only share i share my bananas in the morning and
then like today i was eating apples so i gave him a little Little pieces of apple.
And then if I'm eating cheese, I share some cheese.
I mean, you share the stuff that's
good for dogs. Yeah. I'm not sharing my spaghetti lunch anymore. Yeah.
(01:01:00):
Which is fine. It's probably for the best. Yeah. No. So, anyhow,
we're going to put them on a little.
We're going to follow Beth's orders on feeding.
Well, I mean, maybe. Maybe, but we paid $250 to not listen to the advice.
It's funny. It's funny. Cause when we first moved up here, like just to kind
(01:01:25):
of backstory off what Mary was saying, like I was working ridiculous hours.
Mary was pretty much by herself for like three, four or five months.
Like we used to not feed our dogs, people food.
I still don't like people food. it
was if they got something from people food
it was because they did something good it
(01:01:46):
was a banana it was something healthy it was super
it was like a super treat to get
a piece of dog like human food for the dog right it was like christmas it was
like christmas exactly thanksgiving dinner or whatever and like like one day
i just noticed you know that bruno specifically was like.
(01:02:11):
A little bit not begging but just like kind
of like waiting for something at the feet
of mary right waiting for something and
like i was looking i was like hmm he's never really done that
or i haven't paid attention to it i've been so busy like i just can't
i haven't been able to like engage with
my family right and like to be
(01:02:32):
fair you were working like 80 hour weeks you were traveling for
work like you just were not home and i just
wasn't home and then like once i started and notice like some of
the patterns that i haven't noticed before i was like okay so
now bruno is hanging out
at her feet every now and again he'll scratch mary
and then like he'll just sit there at
(01:02:52):
me and like pa i was like i'm being a good boy
and i was like what the fuck is going on here and
then like bruno totally told on
his mom and he and i was like bruno
has mom been giving you fucking human food
you know and he's just like waiting for
it totally tattletale and he's like i'm gonna
(01:03:15):
get it dad like this is this is
good like this is normal like i get bananas in the morning i get an apple at
lunch i get a piece of cheese as well you know if mom made fucking some rice-a-roni
or fucking you know not rice-a-roni chef bore rd you know damn well mom Mom
(01:03:36):
gave me some of that fucking noodle.
I'm just sitting here like, God damn, Mary, how much have you been feeding these dogs human food?
She's like, well, I don't like to eat alone, you know, which is understandable.
I don't like eating alone either.
Well, I went from not ever having a lunch. If I did have a lunch,
it was like eat it as fast as I can.
Get back to work to like working from home, being alone, like not being around people at all.
(01:04:04):
I'm not bitching because I'm, like, pretty grateful for the job I have because
I do get to be at home with my dogs. Okay.
Like, they were my only friends. And so I'm like, you guys want to have lunch with me today?
And they did. And I loved it. We've found a good balance. Yeah,
we have. I made some work friends.
(01:04:25):
I talk to them now while I eat. Yeah. Instead of feed my dogs. For sure.
But anyway, I think that's all we have tonight.
That's all I got. Thanks for joining us. It was good to see all you guys. sorry
you guys didn't get to listen to half the show but you
know yeah sorry we're gonna try to make it more of a priority we don't even
(01:04:49):
know what's happening with everybody's lives right now we're the whole pod bean
world i'm not even on my own instagram anymore so i don't even know like i don't
even get on social media i know i feel like a terrible person like,
mary and i like we have definitely disconnected from the world in a lot of ways
is and maybe in a lot of ways we should reconnect agreed so we're gonna try to be more consistent,
(01:05:13):
but definitely happy i know we haven't been on here but you hadn't been on here
forever either i know it we hadn't either honestly i haven't like tuned in and
listened to anybody or any we haven't podcast in three months november i think
november okay so it's been a minute it's we're We're just,
we're, I don't know.
(01:05:35):
Anywho, but I'm happy to see all your faces for sure. We're trying to make it more of a thing.
We're trying to figure out a day that works best for us and work it out.
But until then, you'll get sporadic. We'll be random.
All right. You guys have a good night. Thanks for coming in and hanging out with us. We love you all.
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