June 4, 2024 • 20 mins
Join Texas family law attorneys Alex Hunt and Melissa Masoom, as they take you through everything you need to know about divorce and custody mediation in Texas. Mediation is an important tool, especially if you are looking to stay out of court. You'll learn what to expect -- and what to avoid. Peek behind the curtain of a successful mediation with two trial attorneys with hundreds of mediations under their belts.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Alex Hunt (00:09):
Welcome back to the Texas Family Lawyer Podcast.
My name is Alex Hunt.
With Hunt Law Firm, we servethe greater Houston area.
We have offices in Katy,cypress, sugar Land and League
City, and today we're going tojump right into it.
I'm here with Melissa Massoum,an attorney at Hunt Law Firm,
and we're going to be right intoit.
I'm here with Melissa Massoum,an attorney at Hunt Law Firm,
and we're going to be talking alittle bit about what to expect
(00:29):
in your family law or divorcemediation.
Welcome, melissa.
Hey, all right, tell us anoverview.
What is mediation and whatshould clients expect at
mediation?
Melissa Masoom (00:47):
and what should clients expect at mediation?
So, alex, mediation is aprocess that we employ in a lot
of our family law cases and itallows for the clients to
actually settle their caseoutside of court.
So it's a process that involvesa neutral mediator and usually
it's done by Zoom or in personand the clients are with their
attorneys only in the room andthe mediator goes back and forth
(01:09):
, the clients do not have to seeeach other, and it's a really
great way to stay out of court.
You get to be creative with yoursettlement and you get a lot of
control over what's happening.
Alex Hunt (01:23):
Yeah, and I think that's important, that I think a
lot of people think ofmediation.
They think we're going to havea meeting and it's going to be
me, my spouse, the lawyers,we're all going to be sitting in
the same room.
It's going to be veryacrimonious, it's going to be
tense and in Texas at least, atleast in our practice, that is
extraordinarily rare where allthe parties are in one room.
(01:45):
Instead, the mediator does whatwe call shuttle diplomacy,
which is where they're goingback and forth in between the
two rooms and, um, after COVID,um, they even are able to do
them breakout rooms.
So the parties, um sure enough,usually don't even see each
other during the process at all.
(02:06):
Tell me, you're in a mediation.
How does the mediation start?
Mediator walks into the room.
What are some things peopleneed to know?
Melissa Masoom (02:16):
So usually Alex the mediator goes to whoever
filed the case first, so thepetitioner, and usually they're.
That's when the client gets totell their story right.
They get to tell the mediatorwhat's happened so far, what
they're there for, what theywant to have happen in this
mediation, and the mediatorhears them out and usually they
(02:38):
take a first offer over to thesecond room and then that room
gets to tell their story andgets to listen to the offer and
do a counter offer if needed andthe mediator just goes back and
forth trying to settle the case.
Alex Hunt (02:55):
And that's in this podcast.
We're talking a little bitabout what to expect in
mediation, and a couple ofpodcasts from now.
Podcast number episode numberfour we're going to be talking
about how you can prepare foryour family law mediation, which
could not be more important inorder to have a successful
mediation.
When you have a first offer, wego back and forth.
(03:19):
Eventually, the sides start ondifferent sides of the field.
They eventually hopefully meetsomewhere in the middle.
They reach an agreement.
What is the final step in amediation?
Melissa Masoom (03:32):
So usually the mediator has a document called a
Mediated Settlement Agreementand it has very specific
language in there that makes ita Mediated Settlement Agreement,
so that language actuallyprotects the case from, or the
agreement from, being overturnedby the court.
So that agreement is drafted up, both sides review it.
(03:52):
If there are changes, they makethe changes and then it gets
signed and once it gets signedit gets actually filed with the
court.
Alex Hunt (04:00):
Okay, client comes back to us the next day after
mediation.
I can't believe what I just did.
What can we say to that client?
Melissa Masoom (04:10):
Well, usually we have to tell them too bad.
Usually I like to make surethat the client knows that what
they're signing is completelyirrevocable.
They cannot take it back oncethey sign it.
So I make sure they know thatI'm not pressuring them to sign
it either as the mediator.
They need to understand whatthey're signing because the next
(04:31):
morning they can't take it back.
So that mediated settlementagreement, you know, is it's
important because it, you know,solidifies their agreement and
just like our client can't takeit back, thankfully the other
side can't take it back, so itkind of works that way.
So I mean, if a client wants todo that after being advised,
(04:52):
it's unfortunate, but they can.
Alex Hunt (04:55):
And that's one of the reasons that we are incredibly
clear with our clients that ifthey're going to sign on the
dotted line, that they need tobe 100% sure that it's what they
want.
There are still some additionalsteps to be taken after
mediation, but they're locked inand it's irrevocable.
And for family lawpractitioners that might be
(05:18):
watching, they know this TexasSupreme Court case in Ray
Stephanie says that if you havea mediated settlement agreement,
it's going to overrule whateverthe court thinks with regard to
your kids.
Parents have a right to makedecisions in mediation and the
court doesn't get to say no.
And then the In re Minix case,which makes these mediated
(05:39):
settlement agreements just underlock and key.
There's just no way to get outof them.
So one thing that we make surethat our clients know above all
else is you better be sure,because once you sign, it's
locked in.
So next question when should wego to mediation?
Or once you come, you hire usas your divorce lawyer?
(06:03):
How soon afterwards do we needto go to mediation?
Melissa Masoom (06:07):
Well, usually you can go right after you file
a case.
So sometimes you know, in thedivorce process or a child
custody process, people knowthat they need something right
away away, and mediation is agreat way to get into a room and
(06:31):
get an agreement for thingsthat you need as soon as the
case is filed.
So for a divorce situationwhere they don't know who's
paying the bills, for instance,or who's going to live, where
mediation is where they wouldhave that agreement.
For child custody, childsupport, all of that can be
dealt with right away and youcan get a temporary agreement.
(06:52):
You can also get a finalagreement if you know everyone's
there, so anytime, right afterfiling the case.
Alex Hunt (06:57):
So we're going to put if you're watching this as a
video, we're going to put up onthe screen our Texas child
custody process.
We also have this flow chart asTexas divorce process,
contested divorce processsomething that's on our website,
familylawyerkatiecom.
Click on the resources tab andit walks you through a typical
(07:20):
suit affecting the parent-childrelationship or child custody
case.
It'll take you through adivorce case from start to
finish.
But if you look on there, thereare two circles one for
mediation for temporary orders,one mediation for final orders.
And if your case is one ofthose that requires a mediation
(07:41):
for temporary orders, in alllikelihood you might be going to
mediation twice.
But you have different goals ateach of those.
The first one, mediation fortemporary orders, you're really
just trying to put some rules inplace during the penancy of the
case.
You know when, say, you'regetting divorced.
When you get divorced, when themarriage relationship breaks
(08:03):
down, it's like the Wild West.
You're unable to reachagreements on things relating to
your kids or who's paying whatbills, who's living where, and
the purpose of temporary ordersis to help maintain the status
quo for the parties.
One way you can do that is bygoing to court.
(08:23):
You can have a temporary ordershearing.
It's like a mini trial, um.
But the best option for mostpeople is trying to reach some
sort of amicable agreement inmediation.
And then the same thing formediation.
For final orders, you could goto a trial, um, it's expensive,
it's stressful and it reallyputs a strain if you have kids
(08:45):
in the co-parenting relationship, but a mediation helps you keep
control.
So those are the two instancesand you can go and download the
full flowchart on our website,familylawyerkatiecom.
So let's talk a little bit aboutbefore we what.
Why would we go to mediation?
(09:06):
Why don't we just go to atemporary orders hearing?
Why don't we go straight to afinal trial?
I'll start with one and thenwe're going to go through some
pros and cons, but the first one, the most simple one, is that
most of the courts in HarrisCounty, fort Bend County, waller
County, especially when youhave kids, require you to go to
(09:26):
mediation.
Some of the courts, even beforeyou can even get a temporary
orders hearing date, you have togo to mediation.
So part of it is just checkingthe box of what the court
requires, but it certainly goesbeyond that.
It certainly goes beyond that.
In your view, what are some ofthe benefits of going to
(09:47):
mediation in a family law case.
Melissa Masoom (09:48):
That's a really good question.
I usually tell my clients thisis a great opportunity for you
to actually have control overyour case.
Because once you walk intocourt, I always say, if you're
walking into court, you'vealready sort of lost, because
now you're taking the controland giving it to the judge and
you don't know if that judge ishaving a good day, a bad day, if
(10:10):
that judge is going to believewhat you're saying or believe
your spouse or the other parent.
So you really need to go tomediation to keep that control,
to go to mediation to keep thatcontrol.
So that's one of the mainthings I like to say to convince
my clients that mediation is agood idea.
Alex Hunt (10:31):
The other thing is that it's you know, especially
if you're going for final orders.
It is final.
It's a final resolution of allof the disputes.
That can also be a con, though,is that folks might have other
things that they want to bringbefore the court.
That can also be a con, though,is that folks might have other
things that they want to bringbefore the court.
The only way to get anagreement is if they settle
everything up, and so often wesee in mediation, not
(10:54):
everybody's going to get ahundred percent of what they
want.
It's very rare that one partyis skipping out happy out of
mediation and the other onefeels like they got a raw deal.
It's a give and take.
What else, particularly aroundthe cost of mediation?
What are some pros and somecons?
Melissa Masoom (11:15):
So divorce, child custody cases can get very
expensive and what we see isthe most expensive cases are
ones we end up having to go tocourt.
Because you're preparing forcourt, you're sitting there in
court, sometimes you get resetso you don't even go forward the
day you're supposed to goforward, whereas mediation, you
(11:36):
know it's one day, sometimesit's half a day and if you are
paying for your attorney's timeand it's just a lot more cost
effective, so you're really youknow, if you're thinking of your
finances and thinking of howexpensive your case is going to
be, mediation is definitely theway to go and at least try it.
Alex Hunt (11:57):
Certainly, and in mediation you're paying for your
attorney's time.
Your spouse or the other partyis paying for your attorney's
time.
Your spouse or the other partyis paying for their attorney's
time.
You're paying for a mediator,and often the mediator is a
former judge or a family lawattorney, somebody who knows the
law.
One misconception is that thismediation is like a court date.
(12:19):
Even if it's a judge, the judgeisn't necessarily deciding
anything.
Judges usually just make goodmediators because they're able
to put on their judge hat andsay if you go to court, you're
not going to be successful, orthey are going to be successful
and help you to analyze the case, and that usually helps you
(12:40):
reach an agreement.
One of the other benefits thatI've seen it's more important
for some clients than others isthat this is a private process.
If you decide not to reach anagreement in mediation, tell me
a little bit about you know.
Is that process private?
Is that public?
(13:00):
Tell me more about that.
Melissa Masoom (13:01):
So one of the things a mediator will start
with when they start theirmediation is telling you that
this is a completelyconfidential process.
So everything that happens inyour room, everything that
happens in the other room, isconfidential.
So you don't know what'shappening in that room unless
they've authorized the mediatorto come over.
The mediator can't testify incourt.
(13:22):
They can't talk about what'shappened.
So if you need to talk to yourattorney, the mediator can be in
there.
So it's great because they'renot putting everything out there
.
Now, with Zoom, these courtsare getting to broadcast over
YouTube and people can get alink and you know, be in your
business and be in your case.
(13:43):
So this is a lot more ideal ifyou want to keep your things,
everything private in your case.
Alex Hunt (13:50):
Yeah, I don't think a lot of people realize that,
especially since COVID is that alot of courts are still on Zoom
.
A lot of courts, because inTexas we have open courts and so
when it's on Zoom, if they'renot allowing people to
physically come into thecourtroom, they need to have a
public link that anybody can loginto and, yeah, puts your
(14:11):
business out there for everybodyto see.
So the last piece and this isreally important in cases that
are involving kids is when youreach a mediated settlement
agreement.
It has a different tone.
It sets a different tone andtenor for what happens
(14:34):
afterwards with your co-parent.
Talk a little bit about that.
Melissa Masoom (14:38):
So you know trial or going to court it's
stressful and you're going tohave to make sure that you're
getting what you want out ofthis case.
(15:04):
It's very hard to co-parentwith somebody after you've
attacked them in court becauseyou can't just put that aside,
no matter what the judge says orwhat the judge decides after
that hearing is done or afterthat trial is done.
Now you're having to coordinatewith this parent about school
(15:25):
activities or if your child issick and you're going to have
some resentment.
And that's not great for thechildren, right?
Because you're going to have ahard time co-parenting with
someone that you attacked.
And that's why mediation isgreat, because you don't have to
do that.
You know it's a different tone.
You're actually trying to workwith someone and you know
(15:55):
sometimes it just.
I always have clients surprisedthat the other side is being so
reasonable, whereas in courtthey might not have been so
reasonable or they don't get achance to do that.
Alex Hunt (16:02):
We'll see that side of their of the co-parent, and
you know some of the advice thatI'll give even you know, family
and friends say we're not goingto represent them or they live
in a different part of the stateor in the country is, when
you're looking for a divorcelawyer or a family lawyer, look
for somebody who's going to besolutions oriented, resolution
oriented, somebody who's goingto look for an amicable solution
(16:22):
, Um, but if that fails, it'sgoing to be ready and equipped,
um, to go to court.
So a lot of times we'll getfolks that will say I want a
bulldog, I want somebody that'sready to fight, I want somebody
that's aggressive Sometimes.
That's not best for your kids,it's not best for you, it's not
best for your pocketbook.
And so having an attorney andthis is certainly our, our
(16:45):
approach at Hunt Law Firm is,you know, we're going to be
looking for solutions that aregoing to benefit our clients
every step of the way, but inthe background we're going to be
getting ready for court if andwe have to do that.
And so if you're looking for afamily lawyer, that is certainly
that would be my advice Lookfor somebody who's going to find
(17:06):
some solutions for you, butthat's going to be ready to
fight if they need to.
So tell me about a time thatit's particularly important to
get into mediation right away.
Melissa Masoom (17:16):
Well, sometimes in cases in divorces or child
custody cases, you needimmediate relief, and an example
would be if you're astay-at-home mom, you have no
access to any of the money andyou need to make sure that you
can go get groceries and thebills are paid.
So mediation is great, is great.
(17:43):
You can get in um you know asquickly as you need to get in
and um you get to resolve allthose um, at least temporarily,
so you don't have to think aboutall that as the rest of the
process.
You know um happens so, so,which can take months.
So now you have that um, thoseguidelines put in place.
Alex Hunt (17:58):
And sometimes we see folks when they come to us.
They've been completely cut offand they might need money for
attorney's fees, they might needmoney for groceries, they might
need money to pay the mortgageand sometimes it takes a court
in order to order the otherperson to play nice.
But if you go to a mediation,you have a good mediator and
(18:19):
they can tell the other side youdon't want to go to court,
especially having just cut thisperson off, and you can get some
rules in place without havingto have that tense process.
All right, tell me about whathappens after mediation.
You've signed your irrevocablemediated settlement agreement.
You're done.
You're done with the case?
No, you're not.
Melissa Masoom (18:40):
So there's a few more steps in order to make
sure everything gets handled.
So the immediate settlementagreement gets filed with the
court, so the court can see that, and then one of the attorneys
usually the petitioner'sattorney, the person who filed
they get to draft up an orderthat the court will actually
(19:01):
sign, which is what finalizesthe entire case.
Or, if it's a temporary order,it's a temporary order, so that
mediated settlement agreementgets to be turned into a
document that's a lot moredetailed and as much longer, and
the court actually signs thatand that's what finalizes the
agreement.
Alex Hunt (19:22):
All right, melissa.
Is there anything else that weneed to know about mediation in
Texas?
Melissa Masoom (19:27):
Well, alex, you know we just talked about how
important mediation is, and it'sso important that me, you and
the other senior associate,margaret Tucker, are actually
trained mediators and eventhough we are, you know,
litigators at heart and we'retrained to be in court if needed
we believe in this process somuch that we actually offer
(19:48):
mediation services at HUD LawFirm and have three great
mediators that can take on these, you know, tough cases.
Alex Hunt (19:58):
And I might be a little biased on these.
You know tough cases and Imight be a little biased, but I
think that litigators often makethe best mediators because
they're able to view the casesthrough that lens of what's
going to happen if you go tocourt, so, um, so, yeah, thanks
for sharing that.
Um, I'll also share that.
At familylawyerkatiecom, wehave more information on the
mediation process.
(20:19):
We have information on childcustody process, divorce flow
charts, a lot of moreinformation, especially on the
resources tab on the top of ourwebsite.
We're going to have moreinformation about how to prepare
for your family law mediation.
In a future episode I'll beback with Melissa, but for now,
(20:45):
melissa, thanks for joining me.
Thank you, take care.
Welcome back to the Texas Family Lawyer Podcast.
My name is Alex Hunt.
With Hunt Law Firm, we servethe greater Houston area.
We have offices in Katy,cypress, sugar Land and League
City, and today we're going tojump right into it.
I'm here with Melissa Massoum,an attorney at Hunt Law Firm,
and we're going to be right intoit.
I'm here with Melissa Massoum,an attorney at Hunt Law Firm,
and we're going to be talking alittle bit about what to expect
(00:29):
in your family law or divorcemediation.
Welcome, melissa.
Hey, all right, tell us anoverview.
What is mediation and whatshould clients expect at
mediation?
Melissa Masoom (00:47):
and what should clients expect at mediation?
So, alex, mediation is aprocess that we employ in a lot
of our family law cases and itallows for the clients to
actually settle their caseoutside of court.
So it's a process that involvesa neutral mediator and usually
it's done by Zoom or in personand the clients are with their
attorneys only in the room andthe mediator goes back and forth
(01:09):
, the clients do not have to seeeach other, and it's a really
great way to stay out of court.
You get to be creative with yoursettlement and you get a lot of
control over what's happening.
Alex Hunt (01:23):
Yeah, and I think that's important, that I think a
lot of people think ofmediation.
They think we're going to havea meeting and it's going to be
me, my spouse, the lawyers,we're all going to be sitting in
the same room.
It's going to be veryacrimonious, it's going to be
tense and in Texas at least, atleast in our practice, that is
extraordinarily rare where allthe parties are in one room.
(01:45):
Instead, the mediator does whatwe call shuttle diplomacy,
which is where they're goingback and forth in between the
two rooms and, um, after COVID,um, they even are able to do
them breakout rooms.
So the parties, um sure enough,usually don't even see each
other during the process at all.
(02:06):
Tell me, you're in a mediation.
How does the mediation start?
Mediator walks into the room.
What are some things peopleneed to know?
Melissa Masoom (02:16):
So usually Alex the mediator goes to whoever
filed the case first, so thepetitioner, and usually they're.
That's when the client gets totell their story right.
They get to tell the mediatorwhat's happened so far, what
they're there for, what theywant to have happen in this
mediation, and the mediatorhears them out and usually they
(02:38):
take a first offer over to thesecond room and then that room
gets to tell their story andgets to listen to the offer and
do a counter offer if needed andthe mediator just goes back and
forth trying to settle the case.
Alex Hunt (02:55):
And that's in this podcast.
We're talking a little bitabout what to expect in
mediation, and a couple ofpodcasts from now.
Podcast number episode numberfour we're going to be talking
about how you can prepare foryour family law mediation, which
could not be more important inorder to have a successful
mediation.
When you have a first offer, wego back and forth.
(03:19):
Eventually, the sides start ondifferent sides of the field.
They eventually hopefully meetsomewhere in the middle.
They reach an agreement.
What is the final step in amediation?
Melissa Masoom (03:32):
So usually the mediator has a document called a
Mediated Settlement Agreementand it has very specific
language in there that makes ita Mediated Settlement Agreement,
so that language actuallyprotects the case from, or the
agreement from, being overturnedby the court.
So that agreement is drafted up, both sides review it.
(03:52):
If there are changes, they makethe changes and then it gets
signed and once it gets signedit gets actually filed with the
court.
Alex Hunt (04:00):
Okay, client comes back to us the next day after
mediation.
I can't believe what I just did.
What can we say to that client?
Melissa Masoom (04:10):
Well, usually we have to tell them too bad.
Usually I like to make surethat the client knows that what
they're signing is completelyirrevocable.
They cannot take it back oncethey sign it.
So I make sure they know thatI'm not pressuring them to sign
it either as the mediator.
They need to understand whatthey're signing because the next
(04:31):
morning they can't take it back.
So that mediated settlementagreement, you know, is it's
important because it, you know,solidifies their agreement and
just like our client can't takeit back, thankfully the other
side can't take it back, so itkind of works that way.
So I mean, if a client wants todo that after being advised,
(04:52):
it's unfortunate, but they can.
Alex Hunt (04:55):
And that's one of the reasons that we are incredibly
clear with our clients that ifthey're going to sign on the
dotted line, that they need tobe 100% sure that it's what they
want.
There are still some additionalsteps to be taken after
mediation, but they're locked inand it's irrevocable.
And for family lawpractitioners that might be
(05:18):
watching, they know this TexasSupreme Court case in Ray
Stephanie says that if you havea mediated settlement agreement,
it's going to overrule whateverthe court thinks with regard to
your kids.
Parents have a right to makedecisions in mediation and the
court doesn't get to say no.
And then the In re Minix case,which makes these mediated
(05:39):
settlement agreements just underlock and key.
There's just no way to get outof them.
So one thing that we make surethat our clients know above all
else is you better be sure,because once you sign, it's
locked in.
So next question when should wego to mediation?
Or once you come, you hire usas your divorce lawyer?
(06:03):
How soon afterwards do we needto go to mediation?
Melissa Masoom (06:07):
Well, usually you can go right after you file
a case.
So sometimes you know, in thedivorce process or a child
custody process, people knowthat they need something right
away away, and mediation is agreat way to get into a room and
(06:31):
get an agreement for thingsthat you need as soon as the
case is filed.
So for a divorce situationwhere they don't know who's
paying the bills, for instance,or who's going to live, where
mediation is where they wouldhave that agreement.
For child custody, childsupport, all of that can be
dealt with right away and youcan get a temporary agreement.
(06:52):
You can also get a finalagreement if you know everyone's
there, so anytime, right afterfiling the case.
Alex Hunt (06:57):
So we're going to put if you're watching this as a
video, we're going to put up onthe screen our Texas child
custody process.
We also have this flow chart asTexas divorce process,
contested divorce processsomething that's on our website,
familylawyerkatiecom.
Click on the resources tab andit walks you through a typical
(07:20):
suit affecting the parent-childrelationship or child custody
case.
It'll take you through adivorce case from start to
finish.
But if you look on there, thereare two circles one for
mediation for temporary orders,one mediation for final orders.
And if your case is one ofthose that requires a mediation
(07:41):
for temporary orders, in alllikelihood you might be going to
mediation twice.
But you have different goals ateach of those.
The first one, mediation fortemporary orders, you're really
just trying to put some rules inplace during the penancy of the
case.
You know when, say, you'regetting divorced.
When you get divorced, when themarriage relationship breaks
(08:03):
down, it's like the Wild West.
You're unable to reachagreements on things relating to
your kids or who's paying whatbills, who's living where, and
the purpose of temporary ordersis to help maintain the status
quo for the parties.
One way you can do that is bygoing to court.
(08:23):
You can have a temporary ordershearing.
It's like a mini trial, um.
But the best option for mostpeople is trying to reach some
sort of amicable agreement inmediation.
And then the same thing formediation.
For final orders, you could goto a trial, um, it's expensive,
it's stressful and it reallyputs a strain if you have kids
(08:45):
in the co-parenting relationship, but a mediation helps you keep
control.
So those are the two instancesand you can go and download the
full flowchart on our website,familylawyerkatiecom.
So let's talk a little bit aboutbefore we what.
Why would we go to mediation?
(09:06):
Why don't we just go to atemporary orders hearing?
Why don't we go straight to afinal trial?
I'll start with one and thenwe're going to go through some
pros and cons, but the first one, the most simple one, is that
most of the courts in HarrisCounty, fort Bend County, waller
County, especially when youhave kids, require you to go to
(09:26):
mediation.
Some of the courts, even beforeyou can even get a temporary
orders hearing date, you have togo to mediation.
So part of it is just checkingthe box of what the court
requires, but it certainly goesbeyond that.
It certainly goes beyond that.
In your view, what are some ofthe benefits of going to
(09:47):
mediation in a family law case.
Melissa Masoom (09:48):
That's a really good question.
I usually tell my clients thisis a great opportunity for you
to actually have control overyour case.
Because once you walk intocourt, I always say, if you're
walking into court, you'vealready sort of lost, because
now you're taking the controland giving it to the judge and
you don't know if that judge ishaving a good day, a bad day, if
(10:10):
that judge is going to believewhat you're saying or believe
your spouse or the other parent.
So you really need to go tomediation to keep that control,
to go to mediation to keep thatcontrol.
So that's one of the mainthings I like to say to convince
my clients that mediation is agood idea.
Alex Hunt (10:31):
The other thing is that it's you know, especially
if you're going for final orders.
It is final.
It's a final resolution of allof the disputes.
That can also be a con, though,is that folks might have other
things that they want to bringbefore the court.
That can also be a con, though,is that folks might have other
things that they want to bringbefore the court.
The only way to get anagreement is if they settle
everything up, and so often wesee in mediation, not
(10:54):
everybody's going to get ahundred percent of what they
want.
It's very rare that one partyis skipping out happy out of
mediation and the other onefeels like they got a raw deal.
It's a give and take.
What else, particularly aroundthe cost of mediation?
What are some pros and somecons?
Melissa Masoom (11:15):
So divorce, child custody cases can get very
expensive and what we see isthe most expensive cases are
ones we end up having to go tocourt.
Because you're preparing forcourt, you're sitting there in
court, sometimes you get resetso you don't even go forward the
day you're supposed to goforward, whereas mediation, you
(11:36):
know it's one day, sometimesit's half a day and if you are
paying for your attorney's timeand it's just a lot more cost
effective, so you're really youknow, if you're thinking of your
finances and thinking of howexpensive your case is going to
be, mediation is definitely theway to go and at least try it.
Alex Hunt (11:57):
Certainly, and in mediation you're paying for your
attorney's time.
Your spouse or the other partyis paying for your attorney's
time.
Your spouse or the other partyis paying for their attorney's
time.
You're paying for a mediator,and often the mediator is a
former judge or a family lawattorney, somebody who knows the
law.
One misconception is that thismediation is like a court date.
(12:19):
Even if it's a judge, the judgeisn't necessarily deciding
anything.
Judges usually just make goodmediators because they're able
to put on their judge hat andsay if you go to court, you're
not going to be successful, orthey are going to be successful
and help you to analyze the case, and that usually helps you
(12:40):
reach an agreement.
One of the other benefits thatI've seen it's more important
for some clients than others isthat this is a private process.
If you decide not to reach anagreement in mediation, tell me
a little bit about you know.
Is that process private?
Is that public?
(13:00):
Tell me more about that.
Melissa Masoom (13:01):
So one of the things a mediator will start
with when they start theirmediation is telling you that
this is a completelyconfidential process.
So everything that happens inyour room, everything that
happens in the other room, isconfidential.
So you don't know what'shappening in that room unless
they've authorized the mediatorto come over.
The mediator can't testify incourt.
(13:22):
They can't talk about what'shappened.
So if you need to talk to yourattorney, the mediator can be in
there.
So it's great because they'renot putting everything out there
.
Now, with Zoom, these courtsare getting to broadcast over
YouTube and people can get alink and you know, be in your
business and be in your case.
(13:43):
So this is a lot more ideal ifyou want to keep your things,
everything private in your case.
Alex Hunt (13:50):
Yeah, I don't think a lot of people realize that,
especially since COVID is that alot of courts are still on Zoom
.
A lot of courts, because inTexas we have open courts and so
when it's on Zoom, if they'renot allowing people to
physically come into thecourtroom, they need to have a
public link that anybody can loginto and, yeah, puts your
(14:11):
business out there for everybodyto see.
So the last piece and this isreally important in cases that
are involving kids is when youreach a mediated settlement
agreement.
It has a different tone.
It sets a different tone andtenor for what happens
(14:34):
afterwards with your co-parent.
Talk a little bit about that.
Melissa Masoom (14:38):
So you know trial or going to court it's
stressful and you're going tohave to make sure that you're
getting what you want out ofthis case.
(15:04):
It's very hard to co-parentwith somebody after you've
attacked them in court becauseyou can't just put that aside,
no matter what the judge says orwhat the judge decides after
that hearing is done or afterthat trial is done.
Now you're having to coordinatewith this parent about school
(15:25):
activities or if your child issick and you're going to have
some resentment.
And that's not great for thechildren, right?
Because you're going to have ahard time co-parenting with
someone that you attacked.
And that's why mediation isgreat, because you don't have to
do that.
You know it's a different tone.
You're actually trying to workwith someone and you know
(15:55):
sometimes it just.
I always have clients surprisedthat the other side is being so
reasonable, whereas in courtthey might not have been so
reasonable or they don't get achance to do that.
Alex Hunt (16:02):
We'll see that side of their of the co-parent, and
you know some of the advice thatI'll give even you know, family
and friends say we're not goingto represent them or they live
in a different part of the stateor in the country is, when
you're looking for a divorcelawyer or a family lawyer, look
for somebody who's going to besolutions oriented, resolution
oriented, somebody who's goingto look for an amicable solution
(16:22):
, Um, but if that fails, it'sgoing to be ready and equipped,
um, to go to court.
So a lot of times we'll getfolks that will say I want a
bulldog, I want somebody that'sready to fight, I want somebody
that's aggressive Sometimes.
That's not best for your kids,it's not best for you, it's not
best for your pocketbook.
And so having an attorney andthis is certainly our, our
(16:45):
approach at Hunt Law Firm is,you know, we're going to be
looking for solutions that aregoing to benefit our clients
every step of the way, but inthe background we're going to be
getting ready for court if andwe have to do that.
And so if you're looking for afamily lawyer, that is certainly
that would be my advice Lookfor somebody who's going to find
(17:06):
some solutions for you, butthat's going to be ready to
fight if they need to.
So tell me about a time thatit's particularly important to
get into mediation right away.
Melissa Masoom (17:16):
Well, sometimes in cases in divorces or child
custody cases, you needimmediate relief, and an example
would be if you're astay-at-home mom, you have no
access to any of the money andyou need to make sure that you
can go get groceries and thebills are paid.
So mediation is great, is great.
(17:43):
You can get in um you know asquickly as you need to get in
and um you get to resolve allthose um, at least temporarily,
so you don't have to think aboutall that as the rest of the
process.
You know um happens so, so,which can take months.
So now you have that um, thoseguidelines put in place.
Alex Hunt (17:58):
And sometimes we see folks when they come to us.
They've been completely cut offand they might need money for
attorney's fees, they might needmoney for groceries, they might
need money to pay the mortgageand sometimes it takes a court
in order to order the otherperson to play nice.
But if you go to a mediation,you have a good mediator and
(18:19):
they can tell the other side youdon't want to go to court,
especially having just cut thisperson off, and you can get some
rules in place without havingto have that tense process.
All right, tell me about whathappens after mediation.
You've signed your irrevocablemediated settlement agreement.
You're done.
You're done with the case?
No, you're not.
Melissa Masoom (18:40):
So there's a few more steps in order to make
sure everything gets handled.
So the immediate settlementagreement gets filed with the
court, so the court can see that, and then one of the attorneys
usually the petitioner'sattorney, the person who filed
they get to draft up an orderthat the court will actually
(19:01):
sign, which is what finalizesthe entire case.
Or, if it's a temporary order,it's a temporary order, so that
mediated settlement agreementgets to be turned into a
document that's a lot moredetailed and as much longer, and
the court actually signs thatand that's what finalizes the
agreement.
Alex Hunt (19:22):
All right, melissa.
Is there anything else that weneed to know about mediation in
Texas?
Melissa Masoom (19:27):
Well, alex, you know we just talked about how
important mediation is, and it'sso important that me, you and
the other senior associate,margaret Tucker, are actually
trained mediators and eventhough we are, you know,
litigators at heart and we'retrained to be in court if needed
we believe in this process somuch that we actually offer
(19:48):
mediation services at HUD LawFirm and have three great
mediators that can take on these, you know, tough cases.
Alex Hunt (19:58):
And I might be a little biased on these.
You know tough cases and Imight be a little biased, but I
think that litigators often makethe best mediators because
they're able to view the casesthrough that lens of what's
going to happen if you go tocourt, so, um, so, yeah, thanks
for sharing that.
Um, I'll also share that.
At familylawyerkatiecom, wehave more information on the
mediation process.
(20:19):
We have information on childcustody process, divorce flow
charts, a lot of moreinformation, especially on the
resources tab on the top of ourwebsite.
We're going to have moreinformation about how to prepare
for your family law mediation.
In a future episode I'll beback with Melissa, but for now,
(20:45):
melissa, thanks for joining me.
Thank you, take care.
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