May 29, 2025 • 28 mins
Therapists Connect Podcast – Episode with Jeanine Connor
In this compelling episode, Dr. Peter Blundell is joined by Jeanine Connor, MBACP, MSc, MEd, BSc (Hons)—a psychodynamic psychotherapist, clinical supervisor, prolific author, and editor with over 25 years of experience in the field.
Jeanine shares her unique journey through psychotherapy, publishing, and editorial work, offering sharp insights into the inner worlds of children and adolescents. With wit, warmth, and clarity, she reflects on her writing process, the challenges of working with Gen Z clients, and what therapists can learn from the raw, unfiltered language of young people.
Author of three acclaimed books—including You’re Not My F*cking Mother and Stop F*cking Nodding - Jeanine’s work challenges and inspires therapists to truly hear and understand the voices of youth. This is a powerful, thought-provoking conversation that will resonate with practitioners across modalities.
Jeanine's Links and socials
New website:https://www.jeanineconnor.com/
LinkdIn:https://tinyurl.com/yp2n8kbz
#TherapistsConnect is a platform for connecting therapists.
Website: www.Therapists-Connect.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And welcome to another episodeof the Therapist Connect
(00:02):
podcast.
My name is Dr.
Peter Blundell, and today I'mback interviewing therapists
about their life and work.
I'm delighted to be interviewingthis month's guest, who is
Janine Connor.
Janine is a psychodynamicpsychotherapist and clinical
supervisor in private practice,a presenter and a workshop
facilitator with 25 yearstherapeutic experience.
(00:22):
She's the author of around 250publications, including three
books influenced by her work asa psychotherapist.
They're called,'You Are Not MyFucking Mother.
And other things, gen Z say intherapy'.
'Stop Fucking Nodding and otherthings, 16 year olds say in
therapy' and'reflective practicein child and adolescent
psychotherapy' as well as lotsof articles, columns, blogs,
(00:46):
reviews and resources.
Janine is also the editor of theBACP, children, young People and
Families Journal and reviewseditor for BACP therapy today.
So I hope you enjoy this episodeas much as I did recording it if
you'd like to support thepodcast, please leave a review
on your favorite podcastplatform as it really helps with
our visibility.
Dr Peter Blundell (01:04):
Janine, welcome to the Therapist Connect
podcast.
I feel like we've circled eachother for quite a while, but
haven't actually met before now.
So it's nice to finally wellmeet you virtually.
Jeanine Connor (01:17):
Yeah, it's lovely to be here.
I feel the same way.
I feel like I know you, but Idon't,
Dr Peter Blundell (01:23):
you know of me.
See you moving and animatedalive.
Sometimes people freak out'causethey can they know this room
that I'm in'cause they.
They've seen it on like YouTubeand stuff like that.
Yeah.
Obviously people can't see this,but it's got a lovely backdrop
with plants and everything inthe, in, in the backgrounds,
which is really nice to look at.
I'm a bit jealous of your space.
I.
Jeanine Connor (01:44):
Thank you.
It's just a little cupboard fullof greenery.
Dr Peter Blundell (01:47):
It look, it looks, it doesn't look like a
cupboard.
It's nice.
So I think a good way to, to getto know you a little bit better
is to go through some of thesequestions then I suppose if
you're okay to do that.
Yep.
So the one that I ask everybodywho comes on the podcast is what
brought you to be a therapist inthe first place and brought you
into this profession.
Jeanine Connor (02:06):
Yeah.
I am a big fan of your podcast,so I've listened to lots of your
other guests talking about theirgreat plans, about how they came
to be a therapist.
I never had a great plan.
It all happened quite by chancewith one thing naturally leading
into the next.
So my previous career was inteaching 16 to 19 year olds.
(02:28):
And I found that a lot of thestudents.
Wanted to confide in me and thatmy tutor slash pastoral role was
almost important to them as myteaching role, if not more so
for some of them.
And I dunno how I was aware ofthis thinking back, but I was
aware that I wasn't reallyequipped to help them with their
(02:53):
personal stuff.
I was just there to teach them.
And that's really where I, thatI.
That seed was planted aboutwanting to, to help in a
different way.
And then over time in teaching,I became more and more
disillusioned really, with theeducation system and teaching to
(03:15):
the exam rather than helpingstudents to learn how to think
for themselves and those sortsof things.
So I was open to the idea ofdoing something different and
then.
I've told this story before.
It sounds very unbelievable, butI promise you it's true.
I had a chance to encounter witha discarded newspaper on the
tube.
I was living in London.
(03:35):
I just picked up this newspaperthat had been left on the seat.
I.
And there was an article inthere about the place to be,
which was at the time, brand newcharity.
And I thought, oh yeah, thatsounds quite good.
So I wrote to them with anactual pen and paper.
This was a long time ago, andthey got back in touch with me.
(03:56):
They invited me to go for aninterview.
They were just starting theircounseling training courses, and
that's where it began.
I, I did a training with them.
Worked as a counselor inschools, and I really got a
thirst for the theory as well.
I wanted to know more, and I wasworking in primary schools with
(04:16):
place to be, and I missed theteenagers.
I missed the adolescents, and soI spent a long time looking for
a course that felt like theright fit, and eventually I
found.
What felt like the right outfit,which was the psychodynamic
adolescent training at Beck, andthat's when I trained to be a
therapist.
Dr Peter Blundell (04:37):
Fantastic.
It sounds a lot of the studentswho come on the courses that I
teach on come after alreadyhaving a career somewhere else.
Teachers, social workers,nurses, things like that.
And I think that used to be alot more common.
I think with training to be atherapist.
People had usually done someother kind of career first, I
think.
Jeanine Connor (04:54):
Yeah.
I think so, and I think that's agood thing because we bring a
lot of those skills with us andthe experiences of life of being
a bit older and having aprevious career, and there's a
huge overlap, I think betweenthose that you just mentioned
there.
Teaching, nursing counseling,therapy, there, there's a lot of
overlap between those things.
Dr Peter Blundell (05:15):
So you did your initial training qualified.
Can you tell us a little bitabout your career then so far
since then?
Jeanine Connor (05:22):
Yeah, I was trying to formulate my career
because I knew you were gonnaask me about this, and I think
there's probably four mainstrands to my career.
If I try and break it down,there's the therapy and
supervision.
The editing and some journalwriting, the presenting, and
(05:44):
then my books that I see asseparate.
Again, there hasn't been a plan.
They're all interwoven and onething's led on to another.
So when I was first teaching, Iwas teaching Anatomy of
Physiology and there weren't anybooks that felt like the right
pitch for the students that Iwas working with.
(06:06):
They were either way toodetailed, aimed at medical
students, or they were reallybasic aimed at.
Sort of children.
And so I thought I'll write one.
So I wrote a book and anatomy inphysiology for therapists, which
was not.
Psychotherapist, it was bodytherapists and that was my first
(06:26):
foray into branching out, intopublished work really.
And around that time there wasan opening in the college where
I worked to do some coverteaching in a level psychology
and the head of available newsthat I had a degree in
psychology, which I'd done outof interest, not out of career
progression.
So I started covering the Alevel psychology classes and
(06:49):
ended up.
Teaching that full time.
And that's when I did my therapytraining and started writing
psychology resources again forthe same reason, just because I
needed them to do my teachingjob.
And then so at that time, that'swhen I started doing my therapy
training and my.
(07:10):
Therapy placement was, I wasreally lucky.
I got a placement in a CAMHsclinic and it was a baptism of
fire, but I learned so so muchfrom that experience.
Working with a multidisciplinaryteam, working in the community
and in mental health settings,mostly with, again, adolescents
(07:32):
with really complex needs.
And I stayed in CAMHs for 11years.
While at the same timetentatively starting a private
practice about halfway throughthat time.
And then again, as with theeducation system became quite
disillusioned with the NHS andabout, I don't even know how
(07:57):
long, about six years agoperhaps, I left CAMHs and I've
been working completely.
Freelance and in privatepractice since then.
And I've since completed mysupervision training and I
supervise as well as offeringtherapy.
Dr Peter Blundell (08:14):
Wow.
I feel like there's loads ofdifferent organizations that you
worked in.
I'm just imagining you said youbecame disillusioned with quite
a few of those, so imagine likethe systems that were in place
were not conducive to the workyou were trying to do.
Jeanine Connor (08:30):
Exactly that.
Yeah.
And when I first worked withCAMHs, as I said, it felt like
such a privilege to, to workthere and to work within the
NHS.
But over that period of time Iworked through, I think, three
lots of restructuring where I,three times had to reapply for
my job and.
(08:51):
You're, you are competingagainst your peers, your
colleagues that you've beenworking with, and I was
successful each time, but eachtime there was a restructure, it
seemed to shrink the service forme and I didn't feel like I was
working in the way that I hadbeen trained and working in the
way that I wanted to work withyoung people.
And I, yeah, I couldn't do it.
(09:14):
I it didn't feel true.
I wasn't being true to myselfand what I wanted to offer, and
that's why I left.
It was a hard decision.
Dr Peter Blundell (09:22):
It's, it almost sounds like being
squeezed out of the service.
Jeanine Connor (09:26):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think it, the service hasdiminished hugely over the
years.
Dr Peter Blundell (09:32):
I think that's really sad to hear that,
and I wonder whether that's whya lot of people work in private
practice, actually maybe haveexperiences like that.
And then you haven't talkedmuch, you talked a little bit
about getting into your writingcareer, but you haven't spoken
much about your your other booksthat you've written.
Jeanine Connor (09:48):
Yeah, so the writing, as it, as I said, Bob
bubbled along alongside and Ithe way that I got into writing
therapy type stuff was when Iwas a trainee, I answered a
shout out in therapy today.
I'm smiling because I know I'mthe person doing those shout
(10:09):
outs for people to do bookreviews.
And I thought, great.
I can get free books and I canwrite what I think of them and
get that in print.
So that's how it started.
And I was invited to write aregular column then in I had one
in Therapy today and one in theBACP Children in Young People
Journal.
(10:31):
And I wrote occasional articlesas well.
When I left CAMHs, I had muchmore kind of head space, and it
was a, it was at that time thatI thought, maybe I can turn this
into a book, because articlesand columns are very short.
So they're anywhere between sortof a couple of hundred and a
(10:54):
couple of thousand words.
And I had loads left over in myhead.
So my first book, which was.
With Routledge reflectivepractice in child and adolescent
psychotherapy was all the stuffthat was left over in my head
that I just needed to get out.
And also at that time,coincidentally, the editor of
(11:14):
the Children and Young PeopleJournal was retiring and
suggested that I apply for thejob.
I thought, I didn't think Icould do it.
I didn't think I wanted itthough.
It was so not on my radar.
And I, the reason I applied isbecause.
Again, this sounds a bit oddsaying it out loud.
(11:35):
I thought it would be reallygood to go to BACP house'cause
I'd never been there and meetall of these people whose names
I knew, but I'd never met a bitlike meeting you today.
So I, I treated it like a bit ofa day out.
And because of that I wasn'tnervous and normally I get
really nervous about things and.
Anyway, to cut a long storyshort, I got offered the job and
(11:57):
so I've been editing thatjournal now, six years in
January, 2025.
And since then have also writtentwo more books.
Dr Peter Blundell (12:07):
That's amazing.
And I love the fact that youwere so relaxed because you were
I don't think I'm gonna getthis.
So it took the pressure offalmost
Jeanine Connor (12:13):
totally.
I didn't want to get it.
It was not only that, I didn'tthink I would, I didn't want to
I couldn't imagine myself doingthat job at all.
Dr Peter Blundell (12:22):
So that's been interesting.
And then so did you feel likethe.
Books came from that?
Or are they separate in terms ofthe themes and stuff that have
come out in your other books?
Jeanine Connor (12:33):
Yeah.
You're probably picking up onthe fact that my kind of, my
passion lies with adolescents.
And I really love writing and.
The book, my first book withPCCS, which is, stop Fucking
Nodding, another thing, 16 yearolds saying Therapy.
That was an homage to all the 16year olds that I'd ever worked
(12:57):
with, and when I, even nowstill, when I talk to people and
say, that's an age group that Ireally enjoy.
If people don't work with thatage group, they often say things
like, oh my God, that they're soadolescents are so scary, or
they're so challenging or suchhard work, and I wanted to show
(13:18):
No, they're not.
They're really not.
They're great fun and yeah, itcan be a challenge to do the
work, but they just wanna belistened to and understood and
we can do that.
And this is how I do it.
And then the next one, the onethat came out in April this
year, which is called You're NotMy Fucking Mother, and other
(13:41):
things, gen Z Say in Therapy wasa continuation of.
Of that series really.
So widening the age range up tolate twenties young adults, and
I wanted to focus there on someof the contemporary issues that,
again, people of my generation,I.
(14:05):
Gen X and older boomers, thingsthat don't come naturally to us.
So things like internet, dating,social media, all the stuff that
is commonplace for young adultsand adolescents, and weave it
into the stories, thetherapeutic stories to help
people to understand that a bitbetter.
Dr Peter Blundell (14:25):
Do you have more books planned then?
You might not be able to tell meabout that.
There might be secret books.
Jeanine Connor (14:30):
There's no secret deal happened, but
there's lots of thingsruminating in my mind.
Lots of ideas forming, but yeah,
Dr Peter Blundell (14:39):
And how does a book come about then?
Does it, is it right this is anidea and then it builds on that?
Or have you got a kind of, oh,this has to be written,
Jeanine Connor (14:48):
I think with each of those three therapy
books, I had a slightlydifferent intention with each of
them.
They all felt like I had towrite them.
They all felt like, when I sayhad to, that feels like it was
pressure.
It wasn't pressure.
It feels like a real luxury forme to be able to sit and write.
(15:08):
I really enjoy that.
Yeah, I always have more to say.
I'm picking up ideas all thetime and being inspired by
people and experiences all thetime.
And I, that's my way ofprocessing it for myself.
I think I've always foundwriting a really good way to
process.
When I was a student, I used towrite copious amounts of therapy
(15:29):
notes from sessions which reallyhelps me to understand it, and I
hope that.
When people read my books, ithelps them as well,
particularly.
Less experienced and newlyqualified therapists
Dr Peter Blundell (15:42):
and parents.
I think people don't talk aboutthat enough in terms of the, I
suppose the therapeutic processof writing, but also that way of
figuring things out.
I did an interview with LindaFinlay and she was, I was like,
you know what motivates you?
And she's I'm writing to try andfigure out and understand the
top the topic.
Not necessarily'cause I knoweverything on it, but I'm
actually trying to explore itand then I can write about or
(16:04):
write about it.
Jeanine Connor (16:05):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And the way that I've written inthese two books, nodding and
Mothers, is that they're prettymuch books of short stories.
And so each chapter is about adifferent character and they've
come to life on the page as Iwrite them.
The way that a client comes tolife in the room, that's been
quite a.
An interesting process as well.
(16:27):
When we get a new referral forsomebody, there might be the
presenting issue is X, ninetimes out of 10 that's not what
they've come to talk aboutreally.
And the same thing happens whenI'm writing a character.
I might think, oh, I'm gonnawrite about somebody who.
Is having trouble with datingand I start writing and they
just grow and become somethingelse.
(16:49):
And I don't know where thatcomes from, somewhere in my deep
unconscious imagination.
But it is fun.
It's fun to write.
Dr Peter Blundell (16:57):
How do you define your therapeutic approach
and has that changed over thetime you've been working?
Jeanine Connor (17:03):
Funny you should ask me that.
My, my core training waspsychodynamic and I think that
I.
I know that I am still verycommitted to that approach and I
know that's, I think it's quiteunusual now, and I often find
myself as being the lone, purelypsychodynamic person in a group.
(17:23):
I think I.
I dunno if there's been a shiftin the training that's offered
or just what appeals, but Ispeak to more people who are
either integrative or holisticor person centered.
But yeah, I do remain committedto that approach.
I think I'm not.
I'm certainly not blank slate,psychodynamic.
(17:44):
And anybody who's ever seen meor met me will know that my face
is very expressive.
My language is very expressive,but I do sit at the
non-disclosure end of thedisclosure scale.
I think I share my personality,but not my personal stuff,
information.
(18:05):
And I absolutely believe in the.
The power of the unconsciousmind, and I think it, it really
motivates everything that, thatwe do.
It makes sense to me and itmakes sense to me that our
earliest experiences that weperhaps can't remember, and I'm
putting remember in quotationmarks, they.
(18:27):
Must affect us.
They must be part of who we are.
I don't think they cannot affectus.
They get remembered somewhere inour minds and somewhere in our
bodies.
And I think helping people toaccess those things can really
help them to understand theircurrent difficulties and
behaviors and make the changesthat they come to therapy to
(18:48):
chain to make.
Dr Peter Blundell (18:50):
I'm really interested'cause I consider
myself person centered and notintegrative despite many years
doing all the kinds of training.
So I am interested in yousticking with your modality and
not being, I dunno, sometimes itfeels like there's a pressure to
be integrative or to move or toshift away from your approach, I
(19:12):
think, and I just, I find thatinteresting that you've actually
remained with yours.
Jeanine Connor (19:17):
Yeah I sense that too, and I, and have been
challenged on my modality andwhy I just stick with that one
thing, but it works for me.
And having said that the thing,the most important thing I think
other than modality is.
The relationship.
And that's true across the boardand all the evidence backs.
(19:40):
It doesn't it that no matterwhat our qualifications or
training or therapeuticapproach, it's the relationship
that matters.
And if we are a good fit withour client, then it's gonna
work.
And if we're not, it's not.
But I think having a reallysound robust core.
To our training is reallyimportant, whether that's single
(20:02):
modality or more holistic.
Dr Peter Blundell (20:05):
Do you see the wider therapy community and
how connected do you feel toother therapists?
Jeanine Connor (20:12):
As an independent therapist working
totally in private practice andan author and editor sitting in
my plant field cupboard.
As you can now see, thetemptation is to say not very
connected at all, but I thinkthat has changed recently.
Obviously in part thanks to youand Caz and the wonderful
(20:35):
therapist connect which has beena great way to link people up.
When did that, was that duringCovid that you started?
Dr Peter Blundell (20:41):
It was, yeah.
So it was started like January,2020, and then obviously as the,
that a pandemic hits that's whenit Yeah.
Develops even further.
Yeah.
Jeanine Connor (20:51):
It's crazy.
It's like it's always beenthere.
It's automatic hashtag therapistconnect.
That no, that has been really,and still is really great.
And social media.
I'm not particularly tech savvy,but I am making more of an
effort to post on LinkedIn and Ilike LinkedIn much better than I
(21:13):
liked.
Twitter XI think it's a much, inmy experience, a much friendlier
and more supportive space and Ihave made genuine connections
with people on there, eitherpeople who I've approached and
invited them to write somethingfor the journal or people who've
approached me and invited me topresent at their events.
(21:33):
So that's been really good.
Going to events obviously is areally nice way to meet people.
In real life usually in thein-between sessions, over lunch
or coffee and have a chat andmeet people.
So yeah, I think connectedenough with what's going on out
there.
Yeah.
And I suppose as well, if you anindependent practitioner, I know
(21:55):
you've got connections maybethrough the BACP and the
journals and stuff like that,but I imagine it can still be
quite an isolating experiencebeing a research, not
researcher, sorry, apractitioner on your own.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
And I, one of the things that Ireally enjoyed when I worked in
CAMHs, for example, was thekitchen conversations.
Coming out of a session thatmight have been really tough,
(22:17):
challenging, and just going intothe kitchen, putting the kettle
on, and there being somebodyelse there to go, oh my God,
I've just had this session and Idunno what happened, or I dunno
if I said the right thing.
And when you're in privatepractice.
There's nobody, you're there.
I have supervision a couple oftimes a month, but I would love
(22:38):
to be able to just chat it outas and when it happens.
So yeah, I do miss that.
But there's a lot of benefits aswell to working in private
practice.
Yeah.
Dr Peter Blundell (22:49):
What do you think is the biggest challenge
the counseling and psychotherapyprofessions face right now?
Jeanine Connor (22:56):
I think at the moment there's a lot of
discourse that is dividing theprofession, and I could go on
and on, but I think two of thebig ones, one is the discussion
around SCoPEd.
I think there is a really greatneed to regulate our profession.
(23:21):
And hold us all to account, butI don't personally think that is
the right way of doing it, and Ithink that's causing quite a
divide in people who are pro andanti or even not so sure.
And I think another area ofchallenge and division is the
(23:45):
discourse around how we supportLGBT.
Clients, and I think especiallyt, especially transgender, and
the challenge for me personallyhas been how to use the
platforms that I'm privileged tohave through the journals,
(24:06):
through my online presence in away to.
Help those conversations toencourage people to really think
about the language and thediscourse that they're using in
a more inclusive and respectfulway.
And, it is really tricky.
It is.
(24:27):
It's something that I feel verystrongly about, but by putting
my head above the parapet, Ihave also then been at, on the
receiving end of some not verynice comments about my allyship,
let's say.
Which has been reallychallenging.
And the fact that, conversiontherapy still hasn't been
(24:48):
banned.
I think that's horrendous.
How can we live in a time wherethat's.
Going on and linked with that interms of marginalization, I
think the effect of misogynisticmedia and violence on women and
girls and how that gets broughtinto the therapy room and how we
(25:09):
manage those sorts of things.
I, I think there's a lot of notvery nice things going on in the
world at the moment and.
We have to be in touch with thatas therapists.
And that's part of what thethemes in the book were about
what's going on out there andhow does that get brought in
here and what can we do aboutit.
So yeah, I think they're the bigchallenges.
Dr Peter Blundell (25:31):
Three huge challenges there.
And I think just echoing some ofwhat you said around trans
rights and the challenges, andI've spoken about this on the
podcast before, the difficultieswe've had within the community
in terms of.
The language therapist use andthe way they express themselves
around topics that aren'tnecessarily related to them.
(25:53):
Yeah.
They don't have any livedexperience of, yeah.
And I just think, yeah, it'sreally important that people are
actually mindful about how theytalk about other people's lived
experience and, challenging ourown prejudicial and bias views
that all of us hold on somelevel for all different topics.
Jeanine Connor (26:10):
Yeah, sure.
I I was one of the presenters atan event at Metanoia recently,
which was about workingtherapeutically with transgender
clients, and it was such afabulous.
Event.
50% of the presenters weretransgender.
The two moderators, one wascisgender, one was transgender,
(26:31):
and then there was such greatrepresentation and everybody who
was invited to present had a,had an interest in being there.
A personal and a professionalinterest in being there.
And it, it was so nice.
It was sold out event.
It was so nice to be in a roomwhere people were.
We're really wanting to do theright thing and have
(26:51):
conversations about how can I dobetter?
And we can all do better.
I can do better.
But to be open to having thoseconversations with each other,
Dr Peter Blundell (27:01):
And I'm really glad that was a
supportive space.
Jeanine Connor (27:04):
Yeah, it was.
And
Dr Peter Blundell (27:05):
okay, so that's the end of my questions
apart from my very last one,which is what are your future
plans?
I haven't got it out of you.
What your next book might be,
Jeanine Connor (27:16):
because I don't know, Pete,
Dr Peter Blundell (27:18):
then you unconscious somewhere.
Jeanine Connor (27:21):
Yeah, I'm still digging for it.
More of the same.
I think I, already getting somebookings of events for 2025.
I've got one for each of thefirst three months of the year
so far, which I'm really lookingforward to working some with
some different organizationsthat I haven't worked with
before, as well as presentingagain at the BACP Children and
(27:46):
Young People Conference inMarch.
Yeah.
And find some time to write thenext book.
Dr Peter Blundell (27:53):
Yeah.
It's exciting.
Yeah.
Janine, you've been a fantasticguest on the podcast.
Thank you so much.
And we will make sure that weput all of your links and links
to the books and everything inthe show notes for people who
wanna find out more about youand read some of your work.
Jeanine Connor (28:06):
Thank you very much.
It's been an absolute pleasuretalking to you.
You're
Dr Peter Blundell (28:09):
very welcome.
Take care.
And welcome to another episodeof the Therapist Connect
(00:02):
podcast.
My name is Dr.
Peter Blundell, and today I'mback interviewing therapists
about their life and work.
I'm delighted to be interviewingthis month's guest, who is
Janine Connor.
Janine is a psychodynamicpsychotherapist and clinical
supervisor in private practice,a presenter and a workshop
facilitator with 25 yearstherapeutic experience.
(00:22):
She's the author of around 250publications, including three
books influenced by her work asa psychotherapist.
They're called,'You Are Not MyFucking Mother.
And other things, gen Z say intherapy'.
'Stop Fucking Nodding and otherthings, 16 year olds say in
therapy' and'reflective practicein child and adolescent
psychotherapy' as well as lotsof articles, columns, blogs,
(00:46):
reviews and resources.
Janine is also the editor of theBACP, children, young People and
Families Journal and reviewseditor for BACP therapy today.
So I hope you enjoy this episodeas much as I did recording it if
you'd like to support thepodcast, please leave a review
on your favorite podcastplatform as it really helps with
our visibility.
Dr Peter Blundell (01:04):
Janine, welcome to the Therapist Connect
podcast.
I feel like we've circled eachother for quite a while, but
haven't actually met before now.
So it's nice to finally wellmeet you virtually.
Jeanine Connor (01:17):
Yeah, it's lovely to be here.
I feel the same way.
I feel like I know you, but Idon't,
Dr Peter Blundell (01:23):
you know of me.
See you moving and animatedalive.
Sometimes people freak out'causethey can they know this room
that I'm in'cause they.
They've seen it on like YouTubeand stuff like that.
Yeah.
Obviously people can't see this,but it's got a lovely backdrop
with plants and everything inthe, in, in the backgrounds,
which is really nice to look at.
I'm a bit jealous of your space.
I.
Jeanine Connor (01:44):
Thank you.
It's just a little cupboard fullof greenery.
Dr Peter Blundell (01:47):
It look, it looks, it doesn't look like a
cupboard.
It's nice.
So I think a good way to, to getto know you a little bit better
is to go through some of thesequestions then I suppose if
you're okay to do that.
Yep.
So the one that I ask everybodywho comes on the podcast is what
brought you to be a therapist inthe first place and brought you
into this profession.
Jeanine Connor (02:06):
Yeah.
I am a big fan of your podcast,so I've listened to lots of your
other guests talking about theirgreat plans, about how they came
to be a therapist.
I never had a great plan.
It all happened quite by chancewith one thing naturally leading
into the next.
So my previous career was inteaching 16 to 19 year olds.
(02:28):
And I found that a lot of thestudents.
Wanted to confide in me and thatmy tutor slash pastoral role was
almost important to them as myteaching role, if not more so
for some of them.
And I dunno how I was aware ofthis thinking back, but I was
aware that I wasn't reallyequipped to help them with their
(02:53):
personal stuff.
I was just there to teach them.
And that's really where I, thatI.
That seed was planted aboutwanting to, to help in a
different way.
And then over time in teaching,I became more and more
disillusioned really, with theeducation system and teaching to
(03:15):
the exam rather than helpingstudents to learn how to think
for themselves and those sortsof things.
So I was open to the idea ofdoing something different and
then.
I've told this story before.
It sounds very unbelievable, butI promise you it's true.
I had a chance to encounter witha discarded newspaper on the
tube.
I was living in London.
(03:35):
I just picked up this newspaperthat had been left on the seat.
I.
And there was an article inthere about the place to be,
which was at the time, brand newcharity.
And I thought, oh yeah, thatsounds quite good.
So I wrote to them with anactual pen and paper.
This was a long time ago, andthey got back in touch with me.
(03:56):
They invited me to go for aninterview.
They were just starting theircounseling training courses, and
that's where it began.
I, I did a training with them.
Worked as a counselor inschools, and I really got a
thirst for the theory as well.
I wanted to know more, and I wasworking in primary schools with
(04:16):
place to be, and I missed theteenagers.
I missed the adolescents, and soI spent a long time looking for
a course that felt like theright fit, and eventually I
found.
What felt like the right outfit,which was the psychodynamic
adolescent training at Beck, andthat's when I trained to be a
therapist.
Dr Peter Blundell (04:37):
Fantastic.
It sounds a lot of the studentswho come on the courses that I
teach on come after alreadyhaving a career somewhere else.
Teachers, social workers,nurses, things like that.
And I think that used to be alot more common.
I think with training to be atherapist.
People had usually done someother kind of career first, I
think.
Jeanine Connor (04:54):
Yeah.
I think so, and I think that's agood thing because we bring a
lot of those skills with us andthe experiences of life of being
a bit older and having aprevious career, and there's a
huge overlap, I think betweenthose that you just mentioned
there.
Teaching, nursing counseling,therapy, there, there's a lot of
overlap between those things.
Dr Peter Blundell (05:15):
So you did your initial training qualified.
Can you tell us a little bitabout your career then so far
since then?
Jeanine Connor (05:22):
Yeah, I was trying to formulate my career
because I knew you were gonnaask me about this, and I think
there's probably four mainstrands to my career.
If I try and break it down,there's the therapy and
supervision.
The editing and some journalwriting, the presenting, and
(05:44):
then my books that I see asseparate.
Again, there hasn't been a plan.
They're all interwoven and onething's led on to another.
So when I was first teaching, Iwas teaching Anatomy of
Physiology and there weren't anybooks that felt like the right
pitch for the students that Iwas working with.
(06:06):
They were either way toodetailed, aimed at medical
students, or they were reallybasic aimed at.
Sort of children.
And so I thought I'll write one.
So I wrote a book and anatomy inphysiology for therapists, which
was not.
Psychotherapist, it was bodytherapists and that was my first
(06:26):
foray into branching out, intopublished work really.
And around that time there wasan opening in the college where
I worked to do some coverteaching in a level psychology
and the head of available newsthat I had a degree in
psychology, which I'd done outof interest, not out of career
progression.
So I started covering the Alevel psychology classes and
(06:49):
ended up.
Teaching that full time.
And that's when I did my therapytraining and started writing
psychology resources again forthe same reason, just because I
needed them to do my teachingjob.
And then so at that time, that'swhen I started doing my therapy
training and my.
(07:10):
Therapy placement was, I wasreally lucky.
I got a placement in a CAMHsclinic and it was a baptism of
fire, but I learned so so muchfrom that experience.
Working with a multidisciplinaryteam, working in the community
and in mental health settings,mostly with, again, adolescents
(07:32):
with really complex needs.
And I stayed in CAMHs for 11years.
While at the same timetentatively starting a private
practice about halfway throughthat time.
And then again, as with theeducation system became quite
disillusioned with the NHS andabout, I don't even know how
(07:57):
long, about six years agoperhaps, I left CAMHs and I've
been working completely.
Freelance and in privatepractice since then.
And I've since completed mysupervision training and I
supervise as well as offeringtherapy.
Dr Peter Blundell (08:14):
Wow.
I feel like there's loads ofdifferent organizations that you
worked in.
I'm just imagining you said youbecame disillusioned with quite
a few of those, so imagine likethe systems that were in place
were not conducive to the workyou were trying to do.
Jeanine Connor (08:30):
Exactly that.
Yeah.
And when I first worked withCAMHs, as I said, it felt like
such a privilege to, to workthere and to work within the
NHS.
But over that period of time Iworked through, I think, three
lots of restructuring where I,three times had to reapply for
my job and.
(08:51):
You're, you are competingagainst your peers, your
colleagues that you've beenworking with, and I was
successful each time, but eachtime there was a restructure, it
seemed to shrink the service forme and I didn't feel like I was
working in the way that I hadbeen trained and working in the
way that I wanted to work withyoung people.
And I, yeah, I couldn't do it.
(09:14):
I it didn't feel true.
I wasn't being true to myselfand what I wanted to offer, and
that's why I left.
It was a hard decision.
Dr Peter Blundell (09:22):
It's, it almost sounds like being
squeezed out of the service.
Jeanine Connor (09:26):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think it, the service hasdiminished hugely over the
years.
Dr Peter Blundell (09:32):
I think that's really sad to hear that,
and I wonder whether that's whya lot of people work in private
practice, actually maybe haveexperiences like that.
And then you haven't talkedmuch, you talked a little bit
about getting into your writingcareer, but you haven't spoken
much about your your other booksthat you've written.
Jeanine Connor (09:48):
Yeah, so the writing, as it, as I said, Bob
bubbled along alongside and Ithe way that I got into writing
therapy type stuff was when Iwas a trainee, I answered a
shout out in therapy today.
I'm smiling because I know I'mthe person doing those shout
(10:09):
outs for people to do bookreviews.
And I thought, great.
I can get free books and I canwrite what I think of them and
get that in print.
So that's how it started.
And I was invited to write aregular column then in I had one
in Therapy today and one in theBACP Children in Young People
Journal.
(10:31):
And I wrote occasional articlesas well.
When I left CAMHs, I had muchmore kind of head space, and it
was a, it was at that time thatI thought, maybe I can turn this
into a book, because articlesand columns are very short.
So they're anywhere between sortof a couple of hundred and a
(10:54):
couple of thousand words.
And I had loads left over in myhead.
So my first book, which was.
With Routledge reflectivepractice in child and adolescent
psychotherapy was all the stuffthat was left over in my head
that I just needed to get out.
And also at that time,coincidentally, the editor of
(11:14):
the Children and Young PeopleJournal was retiring and
suggested that I apply for thejob.
I thought, I didn't think Icould do it.
I didn't think I wanted itthough.
It was so not on my radar.
And I, the reason I applied isbecause.
Again, this sounds a bit oddsaying it out loud.
(11:35):
I thought it would be reallygood to go to BACP house'cause
I'd never been there and meetall of these people whose names
I knew, but I'd never met a bitlike meeting you today.
So I, I treated it like a bit ofa day out.
And because of that I wasn'tnervous and normally I get
really nervous about things and.
Anyway, to cut a long storyshort, I got offered the job and
(11:57):
so I've been editing thatjournal now, six years in
January, 2025.
And since then have also writtentwo more books.
Dr Peter Blundell (12:07):
That's amazing.
And I love the fact that youwere so relaxed because you were
I don't think I'm gonna getthis.
So it took the pressure offalmost
Jeanine Connor (12:13):
totally.
I didn't want to get it.
It was not only that, I didn'tthink I would, I didn't want to
I couldn't imagine myself doingthat job at all.
Dr Peter Blundell (12:22):
So that's been interesting.
And then so did you feel likethe.
Books came from that?
Or are they separate in terms ofthe themes and stuff that have
come out in your other books?
Jeanine Connor (12:33):
Yeah.
You're probably picking up onthe fact that my kind of, my
passion lies with adolescents.
And I really love writing and.
The book, my first book withPCCS, which is, stop Fucking
Nodding, another thing, 16 yearolds saying Therapy.
That was an homage to all the 16year olds that I'd ever worked
(12:57):
with, and when I, even nowstill, when I talk to people and
say, that's an age group that Ireally enjoy.
If people don't work with thatage group, they often say things
like, oh my God, that they're soadolescents are so scary, or
they're so challenging or suchhard work, and I wanted to show
(13:18):
No, they're not.
They're really not.
They're great fun and yeah, itcan be a challenge to do the
work, but they just wanna belistened to and understood and
we can do that.
And this is how I do it.
And then the next one, the onethat came out in April this
year, which is called You're NotMy Fucking Mother, and other
(13:41):
things, gen Z Say in Therapy wasa continuation of.
Of that series really.
So widening the age range up tolate twenties young adults, and
I wanted to focus there on someof the contemporary issues that,
again, people of my generation,I.
(14:05):
Gen X and older boomers, thingsthat don't come naturally to us.
So things like internet, dating,social media, all the stuff that
is commonplace for young adultsand adolescents, and weave it
into the stories, thetherapeutic stories to help
people to understand that a bitbetter.
Dr Peter Blundell (14:25):
Do you have more books planned then?
You might not be able to tell meabout that.
There might be secret books.
Jeanine Connor (14:30):
There's no secret deal happened, but
there's lots of thingsruminating in my mind.
Lots of ideas forming, but yeah,
Dr Peter Blundell (14:39):
And how does a book come about then?
Does it, is it right this is anidea and then it builds on that?
Or have you got a kind of, oh,this has to be written,
Jeanine Connor (14:48):
I think with each of those three therapy
books, I had a slightlydifferent intention with each of
them.
They all felt like I had towrite them.
They all felt like, when I sayhad to, that feels like it was
pressure.
It wasn't pressure.
It feels like a real luxury forme to be able to sit and write.
(15:08):
I really enjoy that.
Yeah, I always have more to say.
I'm picking up ideas all thetime and being inspired by
people and experiences all thetime.
And I, that's my way ofprocessing it for myself.
I think I've always foundwriting a really good way to
process.
When I was a student, I used towrite copious amounts of therapy
(15:29):
notes from sessions which reallyhelps me to understand it, and I
hope that.
When people read my books, ithelps them as well,
particularly.
Less experienced and newlyqualified therapists
Dr Peter Blundell (15:42):
and parents.
I think people don't talk aboutthat enough in terms of the, I
suppose the therapeutic processof writing, but also that way of
figuring things out.
I did an interview with LindaFinlay and she was, I was like,
you know what motivates you?
And she's I'm writing to try andfigure out and understand the
top the topic.
Not necessarily'cause I knoweverything on it, but I'm
actually trying to explore itand then I can write about or
(16:04):
write about it.
Jeanine Connor (16:05):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And the way that I've written inthese two books, nodding and
Mothers, is that they're prettymuch books of short stories.
And so each chapter is about adifferent character and they've
come to life on the page as Iwrite them.
The way that a client comes tolife in the room, that's been
quite a.
An interesting process as well.
(16:27):
When we get a new referral forsomebody, there might be the
presenting issue is X, ninetimes out of 10 that's not what
they've come to talk aboutreally.
And the same thing happens whenI'm writing a character.
I might think, oh, I'm gonnawrite about somebody who.
Is having trouble with datingand I start writing and they
just grow and become somethingelse.
(16:49):
And I don't know where thatcomes from, somewhere in my deep
unconscious imagination.
But it is fun.
It's fun to write.
Dr Peter Blundell (16:57):
How do you define your therapeutic approach
and has that changed over thetime you've been working?
Jeanine Connor (17:03):
Funny you should ask me that.
My, my core training waspsychodynamic and I think that
I.
I know that I am still verycommitted to that approach and I
know that's, I think it's quiteunusual now, and I often find
myself as being the lone, purelypsychodynamic person in a group.
(17:23):
I think I.
I dunno if there's been a shiftin the training that's offered
or just what appeals, but Ispeak to more people who are
either integrative or holisticor person centered.
But yeah, I do remain committedto that approach.
I think I'm not.
I'm certainly not blank slate,psychodynamic.
(17:44):
And anybody who's ever seen meor met me will know that my face
is very expressive.
My language is very expressive,but I do sit at the
non-disclosure end of thedisclosure scale.
I think I share my personality,but not my personal stuff,
information.
(18:05):
And I absolutely believe in the.
The power of the unconsciousmind, and I think it, it really
motivates everything that, thatwe do.
It makes sense to me and itmakes sense to me that our
earliest experiences that weperhaps can't remember, and I'm
putting remember in quotationmarks, they.
(18:27):
Must affect us.
They must be part of who we are.
I don't think they cannot affectus.
They get remembered somewhere inour minds and somewhere in our
bodies.
And I think helping people toaccess those things can really
help them to understand theircurrent difficulties and
behaviors and make the changesthat they come to therapy to
(18:48):
chain to make.
Dr Peter Blundell (18:50):
I'm really interested'cause I consider
myself person centered and notintegrative despite many years
doing all the kinds of training.
So I am interested in yousticking with your modality and
not being, I dunno, sometimes itfeels like there's a pressure to
be integrative or to move or toshift away from your approach, I
(19:12):
think, and I just, I find thatinteresting that you've actually
remained with yours.
Jeanine Connor (19:17):
Yeah I sense that too, and I, and have been
challenged on my modality andwhy I just stick with that one
thing, but it works for me.
And having said that the thing,the most important thing I think
other than modality is.
The relationship.
And that's true across the boardand all the evidence backs.
(19:40):
It doesn't it that no matterwhat our qualifications or
training or therapeuticapproach, it's the relationship
that matters.
And if we are a good fit withour client, then it's gonna
work.
And if we're not, it's not.
But I think having a reallysound robust core.
To our training is reallyimportant, whether that's single
(20:02):
modality or more holistic.
Dr Peter Blundell (20:05):
Do you see the wider therapy community and
how connected do you feel toother therapists?
Jeanine Connor (20:12):
As an independent therapist working
totally in private practice andan author and editor sitting in
my plant field cupboard.
As you can now see, thetemptation is to say not very
connected at all, but I thinkthat has changed recently.
Obviously in part thanks to youand Caz and the wonderful
(20:35):
therapist connect which has beena great way to link people up.
When did that, was that duringCovid that you started?
Dr Peter Blundell (20:41):
It was, yeah.
So it was started like January,2020, and then obviously as the,
that a pandemic hits that's whenit Yeah.
Develops even further.
Yeah.
Jeanine Connor (20:51):
It's crazy.
It's like it's always beenthere.
It's automatic hashtag therapistconnect.
That no, that has been really,and still is really great.
And social media.
I'm not particularly tech savvy,but I am making more of an
effort to post on LinkedIn and Ilike LinkedIn much better than I
(21:13):
liked.
Twitter XI think it's a much, inmy experience, a much friendlier
and more supportive space and Ihave made genuine connections
with people on there, eitherpeople who I've approached and
invited them to write somethingfor the journal or people who've
approached me and invited me topresent at their events.
(21:33):
So that's been really good.
Going to events obviously is areally nice way to meet people.
In real life usually in thein-between sessions, over lunch
or coffee and have a chat andmeet people.
So yeah, I think connectedenough with what's going on out
there.
Yeah.
And I suppose as well, if you anindependent practitioner, I know
(21:55):
you've got connections maybethrough the BACP and the
journals and stuff like that,but I imagine it can still be
quite an isolating experiencebeing a research, not
researcher, sorry, apractitioner on your own.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
And I, one of the things that Ireally enjoyed when I worked in
CAMHs, for example, was thekitchen conversations.
Coming out of a session thatmight have been really tough,
(22:17):
challenging, and just going intothe kitchen, putting the kettle
on, and there being somebodyelse there to go, oh my God,
I've just had this session and Idunno what happened, or I dunno
if I said the right thing.
And when you're in privatepractice.
There's nobody, you're there.
I have supervision a couple oftimes a month, but I would love
(22:38):
to be able to just chat it outas and when it happens.
So yeah, I do miss that.
But there's a lot of benefits aswell to working in private
practice.
Yeah.
Dr Peter Blundell (22:49):
What do you think is the biggest challenge
the counseling and psychotherapyprofessions face right now?
Jeanine Connor (22:56):
I think at the moment there's a lot of
discourse that is dividing theprofession, and I could go on
and on, but I think two of thebig ones, one is the discussion
around SCoPEd.
I think there is a really greatneed to regulate our profession.
(23:21):
And hold us all to account, butI don't personally think that is
the right way of doing it, and Ithink that's causing quite a
divide in people who are pro andanti or even not so sure.
And I think another area ofchallenge and division is the
(23:45):
discourse around how we supportLGBT.
Clients, and I think especiallyt, especially transgender, and
the challenge for me personallyhas been how to use the
platforms that I'm privileged tohave through the journals,
(24:06):
through my online presence in away to.
Help those conversations toencourage people to really think
about the language and thediscourse that they're using in
a more inclusive and respectfulway.
And, it is really tricky.
It is.
(24:27):
It's something that I feel verystrongly about, but by putting
my head above the parapet, Ihave also then been at, on the
receiving end of some not verynice comments about my allyship,
let's say.
Which has been reallychallenging.
And the fact that, conversiontherapy still hasn't been
(24:48):
banned.
I think that's horrendous.
How can we live in a time wherethat's.
Going on and linked with that interms of marginalization, I
think the effect of misogynisticmedia and violence on women and
girls and how that gets broughtinto the therapy room and how we
(25:09):
manage those sorts of things.
I, I think there's a lot of notvery nice things going on in the
world at the moment and.
We have to be in touch with thatas therapists.
And that's part of what thethemes in the book were about
what's going on out there andhow does that get brought in
here and what can we do aboutit.
So yeah, I think they're the bigchallenges.
Dr Peter Blundell (25:31):
Three huge challenges there.
And I think just echoing some ofwhat you said around trans
rights and the challenges, andI've spoken about this on the
podcast before, the difficultieswe've had within the community
in terms of.
The language therapist use andthe way they express themselves
around topics that aren'tnecessarily related to them.
(25:53):
Yeah.
They don't have any livedexperience of, yeah.
And I just think, yeah, it'sreally important that people are
actually mindful about how theytalk about other people's lived
experience and, challenging ourown prejudicial and bias views
that all of us hold on somelevel for all different topics.
Jeanine Connor (26:10):
Yeah, sure.
I I was one of the presenters atan event at Metanoia recently,
which was about workingtherapeutically with transgender
clients, and it was such afabulous.
Event.
50% of the presenters weretransgender.
The two moderators, one wascisgender, one was transgender,
(26:31):
and then there was such greatrepresentation and everybody who
was invited to present had a,had an interest in being there.
A personal and a professionalinterest in being there.
And it, it was so nice.
It was sold out event.
It was so nice to be in a roomwhere people were.
We're really wanting to do theright thing and have
(26:51):
conversations about how can I dobetter?
And we can all do better.
I can do better.
But to be open to having thoseconversations with each other,
Dr Peter Blundell (27:01):
And I'm really glad that was a
supportive space.
Jeanine Connor (27:04):
Yeah, it was.
And
Dr Peter Blundell (27:05):
okay, so that's the end of my questions
apart from my very last one,which is what are your future
plans?
I haven't got it out of you.
What your next book might be,
Jeanine Connor (27:16):
because I don't know, Pete,
Dr Peter Blundell (27:18):
then you unconscious somewhere.
Jeanine Connor (27:21):
Yeah, I'm still digging for it.
More of the same.
I think I, already getting somebookings of events for 2025.
I've got one for each of thefirst three months of the year
so far, which I'm really lookingforward to working some with
some different organizationsthat I haven't worked with
before, as well as presentingagain at the BACP Children and
(27:46):
Young People Conference inMarch.
Yeah.
And find some time to write thenext book.
Dr Peter Blundell (27:53):
Yeah.
It's exciting.
Yeah.
Janine, you've been a fantasticguest on the podcast.
Thank you so much.
And we will make sure that weput all of your links and links
to the books and everything inthe show notes for people who
wanna find out more about youand read some of your work.
Jeanine Connor (28:06):
Thank you very much.
It's been an absolute pleasuretalking to you.
You're
Dr Peter Blundell (28:09):
very welcome.
Take care.
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