EP 48: Finding Joy in the Midst of Chaos

Welcome to Tilted Halo, the sanctuary for every woman in ministry, and in fact, anyone on this journey of life. In this episode, I share a time when I was abruptly asked to resign from my position, an unplanned circumstance that threw me into a swirl of uncertainty, loss, and despair. However, through this turmoil I unearthed the strength to be grateful and appreciate the good amidst the bad. I'm going to explore how to uncover joy in the midst of chaos, even when it seems most daunting. It's not about sugar-coating hardships, but about finding the silver lining in those clouds. Let's embark on this journey of embracing gratitude even when life gets messy. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Tilded Halo.
This is a new podcast and it'sfor anybody who's a woman in
ministry.
You might be a pastor likemyself, a bishop, a priest, a
rabbi, music minister, elderchildren's minister whatever
your title is.
You're absolutely in the rightplace, especially if you're

(00:21):
someone who loves your ministryand you're doing it well and
you're feeling pressure tosometimes be perfect and deep
down inside, you know you're not.
And how in the world to dealwith that?
And men, you're absolutelywelcome here too, because this
is about ministry and the samething can happen to you.

(00:41):
So you're all in the rightplace.
Let's get started with the show.
There are times when life getswell.
Shall I just say it plainly itgets messy.
Not everything goes the way wewant it to, and some days it's

(01:01):
just downright the pits.
So how do we be grateful in themidst of times like that?
It can be tough.
It can be really tough, becausethere are times where life is
tough and gratitude isdefinitely not the tops of our

(01:22):
list in those kinds ofsituations.
There are people who havewritten some very helpful things
about that, and you know thereare many different books and
articles that you can refer tofor that as well.
But I'll share with you acouple of things based on some

(01:45):
of my own experiences and somethings I've heard from other
people as well.
When life gets messy, when lifeis not going according to our
schedule or how we would likelife to be, the first thing for

(02:05):
me is to take stock of okay,things aren't going the way I
want them to be, but what isstill good in the midst of all
of this.
So that can be hard to findsome days.
I'm not sugarcoating that inthe least, but are there still

(02:27):
some good things?
I have shared in other venuesthat there was a day in 1992,
yes, I remember that very well,and it was a Friday afternoon
when the relatively new seniorpastor of the congregation where
I had been serving for nearlyfive full years asked me to come

(02:53):
to his office and said he wasgoing to allow me to choose and
the options were either toresign or be fired.
That was very messy in my view,not something I wanted, not
something I anticipated anddefinitely not desired, and it

(03:18):
left me feeling hurt and angryand depressed and all kinds of
things and wondering okay, whatnow?
Out of a position.
Either way, I'm out of aposition, which means out of
income, and I chose to resign.

(03:41):
So they did give me a couple ofmonths of I'm forgetting the
proper term for that kind ofcompensation after that.
But it was still like as apastor in my tradition.
I could not just go out andhang out and saying a sign that

(04:03):
said, hey, I'm looking for aplace here, I am hire me, not
like you can.
And then in most other jobs Icouldn't go out marketing myself
to congregations.
That's not the practice withinmy tradition and if I had done
that, that could have gotten mein a lot of trouble in other

(04:28):
ways as well.
And so I couldn't do that andit was like, okay, what do I do
now?
Because it can take months sixmonths to a year at times to get
a new position.
They can be quite a lengthyprocess.
So it was, yeah, I felt verymuch lost and at odds and not

(04:53):
knowing what I wanted to do.
But even if I wanted to stay inministry, how was that gonna be
possible and what would thatmean?
And life was messy.
It was very messy at that pointin my life.
It's one of several points inmy life when it's been messy,

(05:13):
but it was very messy then and,to be very honest, for weeks I
was not finding much to bethankful for not at all, and it
took some prodding from a friendand some reading to help me

(05:37):
realize.
You know, there were still somethings that I could be grateful
for.
I had a place to live and itwasn't going to be foreclosed,
or I couldn't pay the rent and Iwas gonna be kicked out, or
anything like that.
I had a place to live.
I had family who weresupporting me.
I had a vehicle that wasn'tgoing to be taken away from me.

(06:04):
I had some savings in the bankthat could tide me over, for,
you know, if I was careful, itcould tide me over for quite a
while until I found somethingnew to do.
I figured, if I really neededto, I could do some part-time
work, do some other kinds ofthings for a while if I needed

(06:28):
to.
So I began to see that therewere some good things, things I
could be grateful for, things Icould see as positives even in
the midst of the messy stuff ofthat time.
So when life gets messy, it canbe hard to see anything positive

(06:51):
for a while, but there alwaysare things there.
There are always things there,and I know some people will say
you don't know my situation, youdon't know my life and my mess,
the mess that I'm in or themess that's been dumped on me.
No, I don't know all of that,but I can bet that even in the

(07:15):
midst of whatever is themessiest mess in your life, that
can still be some positivesthere, and one of those is to
know that we are never alone.
No matter what, we are notalone.
That's one of the promise, aspeople of faith, that we have is

(07:36):
that God is there with us inthe midst of the mess.
God doesn't tell us to get yourstuff straightened out first
and then God's gonna love us.
No, so even when our halos arevery tilted or even fall off and
that sometimes happens to thebest of us God's still there.

(08:00):
God's still loving us in themidst of the mess and the midst
of the hard times, in the midstof the darkest of dark times and
yes, there are some very, verydark times.
I think of parents who've had achild abducted or missing.

(08:24):
I think of loved ones who havelost someone who was the primary
breadwinner and the primaryperson in their life, and they
who had everything and thatperson either died or left and

(08:47):
left you with nothing or feelslike nothing.
And you know, there can be somevery dark times in life.
There are people who areaddicted to chemicals and that
can be a very dark time, a bigmess.
Get in trouble with the law canbe a very big mess.

(09:10):
But the promise number one isthat God is always in the midst
of that mess with us, notcausing it, but willing to be
there with us in the midst ofthat time.
That's the first thing toalways be grateful for.
A second thing is that God'swilling to listen to us complain

(09:34):
and cry and question and, youknow, raise our voices and utter
despair.
How do I know that?
I've read the book of Psalms.
There is every imaginable humanemotion written about in that
book, the many Psalms which aresongs that are in there.

(10:00):
Like you know, today we hearturn on any music situation and
you hear songs about love andlost love and all kinds of
different things.
That's what the book of Psalmsis like as well, talking about
all kinds of emotions and beingable to share those with God.

(10:20):
But I also know that there arealways other people, even in the
darkest of times who, if we'rewilling to let them into our
lives, will be there with us andfor us.
May not always be the people wewant to be there, that's true,

(10:47):
but there are people there whoare willing to be there with us
and for us too.
May have to look for them, bewilling to be open to that
person or those people comingfrom a tradition or a source

(11:08):
that might be different thanwhat we expect or hope to be,
but they can be found.
So, being grateful when life ismessy, start by thinking about
what still is good, or at leastthere you know, the people who

(11:35):
are still there for you and withyou, even if it's one person,
the possibilities that there isa future.
So what?
The pain of the present?
It's not necessarily going tobe the pain of the future.

(11:55):
There are other possibilities.
Maybe hard to see them, it maybe hard to realize them, but
they are possibilities and aslong as there is a possibility,
that means it could become anactuality, it could be real, and

(12:20):
there's always the opportunityto share the mess and the pain
that's inside of us with God.
So start by sharing that withGod, being open to the hurt and
the pain and the anger that wefeel.

(12:40):
Be open to that with God.
You might be surprised at whatyou hear back from God, what you
feel back from God, and ifthat's not available through
your current faith tradition,there are those around who can

(13:02):
help share that with you andwill do that, who believe that
too.
So, finding gratitude, beinggrateful when life is very messy
, it is possible and it willalso be something that helps

(13:23):
turn a corner for you to beginto find little threads, little
bits of threads.
Sometimes you've got to lookhard for even the tiniest little
shred, but they're there andit's more than just shreds.
They are there to be found, tobe put into practice, to be

(13:49):
shared and to grow, to grow onand grow in.
So life can get messy and itwill be messy at times for every
single one of us, sometimesbecause of the stuff we do,

(14:10):
sometimes it's the result ofthings other people do,
sometimes it's what we call anact of nature, sometimes who
knows why, but it happens and inthe midst of it there still is
something to be grateful for.
So take that halo that's verytilted and give it a little

(14:38):
nudge towards a littlestraighter and realize that
you're not there alone, even inthe biggest of messes, you're
not there alone.
God is there with you, and thatis the first place to start in
being grateful when life getsmessy.
So this is the Tilted Halo, andI invite you to come back again

(15:03):
for the next episode, and thankyou for being here today for
this one, and may God's peaceand God's blessings help carry
you through whatever you'reexperiencing today, even if it's
very messy.
You have been listening toTilted Halo with me, kathleen

(15:24):
Panning.
What did you think about thisepisode?
I'd really like to hear fromyou.
Leave me some comments.
Be sure to like, subscribe andshare this episode and catch
another upcoming episode.
For more conversation onministry, life, mindset and a
whole lot more, go towwwTiltedHaloHelpcom, where I've

(15:46):
got a resource guide and otherresources waiting for you, and
be sure to say hi to me,kathleen Panning, on LinkedIn.
See you on the next episode.