EP 63: Finding God in Your "What If" Moments

Ever noticed how two simple words—"what if"—can simultaneously inspire dreams and provoke anxiety? That's the fascinating paradox I, Pastor Kathleen Panning, will unpack in this thought-provoking episode of The Tilted Halo.

Remember childhood make-believe? Those carefree days when we'd imagine being teachers, doctors, astronauts—or even pastors—without concern for practicality or limitations? I share how this childhood imagination contrasts with our adult tendency to restrict possibilities, especially in ministry settings. Drawing from personal experience, she illustrates how "what if" thinking transformed a simple church roof repair into an opportunity for substantial improvements that better served the congregation's needs. These moments of creative possibility represent the positive power of asking "what if?"

But there's another side to these words. The fear-based what-ifs that can paralyze us: What if conflict divides the congregation? What if finances falter? What if illness strikes? I vulnerably share my own encounters with challenging ministry moments that made me question my calling. Yet, these very redirections often reveal unexpected pathways and opportunities for growth. The theological anchoring of the episode comes through a powerful reminder that Emmanuel—"God with us"—means divine presence in both our exciting possibilities and our greatest fears. Just as God remained with the exiled Israelites and walked with us through the valley of the shadow of death, we're never alone in our what-ifs.

Ready to transform how you approach uncertainty? Listen now and discover how embracing both your hopeful and fearful what-ifs might reveal God's presence in unexpected places. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Tilted Halo.
This is a new podcast and it'sfor anybody who's a woman in
ministry.
You might be a pastor likemyself, a bishop, a priest, a
rabbi, music minister, elderchildren's minister whatever
your title is, you're absolutelyin the right place, especially
if you're someone who loves yourministry and you're doing it

(00:24):
well and you're feeling pressureto sometimes be perfect and
deep down inside, you knowyou're not.
And how in the world to dealwith that?
And men, you're absolutelywelcome here too, because this
is about ministry and the samething can happen to you.
So you're all in the rightplace.
Let's get started with the show.

(00:45):
Welcome to another edition ofthe Tilted Halo.
I am your host, Pastor KathleenPanning, and I am talking today
about two little words if andwhat, and when we put them

(01:07):
together as what if they form asentence and a dot dot dot after
the if, what, if?
What is a sentence or a phrase,two words that, combined like

(01:27):
that, are pregnant withpossibilities.
They talk about what if?
I can remember as a child,playing and doing you know,
playing, pretend what if I werea teacher?
This is what I would do.
Didn't say the what if, but themake-believe part of it was a

(01:49):
way of me saying what if?
What if I were a doctor, orplaying doctor, playing nurse,
what if?
What would that look like as adoctor or a nurse or a teacher,
or even as a pastor?
Yeah, I even played church as akid, Grew up in a family where

(02:23):
faith, community, was very, veryimportant.
You were, we were, I was as ain church every single Sunday,
no exceptions, unless very, verysick.
That was the only excuse fornot being in worship on Sunday
mornings.
So what if I were a pastor?
You know, it seemed justpossible as a child to play

(02:57):
make-believe, and no lessbelievable as a child than being
a doctor or a teacher or, atone point, an astronaut.
You know, any of those kinds ofthings in my childhood
imagination were possible.
In my childhood imaginationwere possible.
The reality was, however, thatas a child it was not possible
for me to be a pastor.
So what if?

(03:25):
Can also be used in the thingsof oh, this could be possible in
a good way, but it can also beused in kind of a way of saying
oh no, don't you dare go there.
We've all heard of parents whosay well, what if the neighbors
find out?
Or what if somebody else sawyou?
What if somebody else saw you?

(03:47):
You know, kind of as a way ofputting the brakes on something
we are thinking about.
I talk about all of this whatif?
Things in my book Tilted Halo,exposing the truth of women in
ministry and untold stories, butthere's always more to it than
what I can talk about in thatbook.

(04:07):
There's some really good juicystuff in there.
But think about all of this asa pastor, as a woman of faith in
any kind of leadership,whatever that may be, or as a
man of faith in some sort ofleadership too.
What if?
How do you use that?
As a man of faith in some sortof leadership too, what if?
How do you use that?
And you talk with people aroundyou in a committee meeting, in

(04:30):
a board meeting, whatever it maybe.
What kind of what ifs do you do?
What kind of what ifs do youpropose?
What if can be this jumping offpoint, the springboard for a
brainstorming session?
I remember doing that with acongregation that my husband and

(04:52):
I served.
They had a leaky roof in theireducation building and it had
been leaking for quite a numberof years already.
So on Sunday mornings, if ithad rained and we were coming
for the adult Sunday schoolclass, which was in the

(05:13):
fellowship area of thateducation building.
There were some buckets aroundbecause that was to catch the
water from the roof where itleaked, and so it was really
time to think about getting thatrepaired.
But then the question becamewell, is that the only thing we

(05:34):
need to think about?
What if we did something else?
What if?
Could you dream, Could youenvision something more?
And it's amazing what they cameup with.
We came up with a whole list ofthings, and one of the things
on there was putting in anelevator so that when there was

(05:55):
a funeral, instead of carryingthe casket up and down I think
it's 12 steps at the front ofthe church building leading into
the sanctuary, the steps whichbecame slippery when wet because
there were stone.
What if we put it in anelevator?

(06:19):
What if we had two very nicerestrooms that were handicapped
accessible?
What if?
What if Became wonderfulpossibilities?
But I've also experienced whatif, as you know, what if that

(06:44):
really did happen?
And there are companies whothink about the negative
what-ifs as a way of, you know,risk management.
Well, what if somebody reachedinto this machine and, you know,
while it was running.

(07:05):
What if that happened?
And you know, is there amechanism we can put in an
automatic brake or something toprevent injuries?
What if?
Risk management, drivereducation simulators you know if
you had those when you were akid for driver education, it was

(07:30):
a way of, yes, teaching how tomaneuver a vehicle before
actually getting into it'sraining and the road is slick
and you start to slide, or icyand you start to slide.

(07:58):
What if that happened?
How do you react?
What are the good things to do?
What are the things that arenot so good to do?
But then there are all of thosewhat ifs about what if this
happens.
And it's something that we'reafraid of, Something that is,

(08:19):
you know, we see as a realnegative that.
Could it really happen?
And what if it did?
There was something like thatthat happened to me at one point
in my ministry and that's whatI talk about in my book A what
if?
A negative experience,something that really wasn't

(08:45):
what I was expecting at all andhad to deal with.
Well, what if now?
What if I can't go on like that?
What if it means I can't be apastor anymore?
What if?
And there were the negativewhat ifs to deal with.

(09:07):
But you know what, Even whenthings we call bad happen, even
when the unexpected and scaryhappens, it can be very

(09:28):
difficult, I'm not denying anyof that at all.
But it can also be anopportunity.
An opportunity to see God, tosee ourselves, to see a future
in a very different light, onethat we probably never

(09:54):
considered with any delight,perhaps maybe never even
considered at all, but it canopen up all kinds of new doors
as possibilities.
What if, yeah, what if I don'tknow what?

(10:15):
Your what ifs are the good ones?
I suggest you think about thoseand write those down, but also
think about the ones that you'remaybe kind of afraid of.

(10:39):
What if the little disagreementin the congregation continues
and becomes gnawing away like acancer and starts to divide
people, becomes a major conflict?
What if the economy doesn't doso well and how that will affect

(11:00):
ministry, your business,whatever it may be?
What if the stock market goesdown and you lose some of that
retirement nest egg?
What if there's a recession?
What if?
What if you know?

(11:23):
What if you get ill?
What if that spot that you're alittle bit concerned about
turns out to be melanoma?
What if, yeah, what if?
What?
If?
Indeed, when is God in the midstof all of these what-ifs that

(11:46):
we put on ourselves and on otherpeople?
What if all of that does happen?
Where is God in the midst ofyour what-ifs?
Where is your faith in themidst of all of these what-ifs?
Where is the opportunity in thewhat-ifs, the opportunity to

(12:14):
give thanks, yes, to be grateful.
And who would you be gratefulto and for?
What if this thing that wedon't want becomes the reality
we have to deal with?
You know, even in the midst ofthat, in my own experience, the

(12:44):
negatives or what we callnegatives redirections in life
that you know, the veering offin a totally different direction
that we had no intention oftaking, didn't even know, was
there perhaps?
What if that's a new path forsome exciting new possibilities?

(13:10):
Yes, what if we can?
What if ourselves into a box andfind that you know it's a scary
place.
You know it's a scary place,confining ourselves with the

(13:44):
fears of what other people mightsay, what other people might
think, what could possiblyhappen.
That's all bad and wrong.
Or we can take those what ifsand say, hmm, yeah, what if that
happened?
Where might the opportunity bein that?
Where might we be able to seeour faith a little differently.
Where might that redirect ourlives, our ministry, our faith,

(14:06):
our caring for other people?
Where could this possibly lead?
That's delicious and good.
That's something you know.
It's a whole new discovery.
What if?
So today I offer you a wholetime on what if?

(14:30):
I suggest you write down thewhat ifs.
What if, thinking about thedreams and the hopes you have,
write them down.
What if those things came to be?
What would you do with them?
What's the possibilities there?
What if some of the things youdon't want actually come to be?

(14:52):
What is it that you fear aboutthose?
What is a step that you cantake now to be in movement and
so that you know, you recognizethe possibility but aren't

(15:13):
frozen by those fears, by thenegative possibilities, that you
open up the box that those cancreate and see God still leading
in the midst of that.
That's a whole ministry all inand of itself.

(15:34):
What if?
What if God's there, Reallythere?
The people of Israel, when theywere in exile, thought that
they had been abandoned by God,but what if God was there all
the time with them?

(15:54):
In the 23rd Psalm, yea, Iwalked through the valley of the
shadow of death.
You are with me, your rod andyour staff.
They comfort me.
We dare not forget that.
So, whatever the what-ifs arethat happen in our lives the

(16:19):
good ones God is there with ustoo and the ones that we really
didn't want to have happen, Godis there with us too.
That's the meaning of the nameof Jesus as Emmanuel.
God with us, Not just wheneverything's roses and fine, Not

(16:43):
just in the ordinary days, butespecially in the hard ones too.
God is there, Jesus is with us,God with us.
That's a wonderful thought, andpeaceable.
It brings peace, A thought thatbrings peace and comfort to

(17:09):
each and every one of us, andthat is what I wish to leave
with you today.
So what if?
Yeah, what if?
What if?
God is there no matter what?
What if, as faith leaders inprofessional ministry or in
everyday life, ministry?

(17:29):
What if?
God gives us new opportunities,maybe some we weren't really
wanting, but new opportunitiesfor ministry and for growth.
God's still there, in the midstof those with us.
So please come back for nexttime.

(17:50):
Leave me some comments likes,whatever, Look for my book
Tilted Halo, Exposing the Truthof Women in Ministry and Untold
Stories, and come back again foranother episode.
So until then, peace blessings.
Take care.

(18:13):
You have been listening toTilted Halo with me, Kathleen
Panning.
What did you think about thisepisode?
I'd really like to hear fromyou.
Leave me some comments.
Be sure to like, subscribe andshare this episode and catch
another upcoming episode.
For more conversation onministry, life, mindset and a

(18:39):
whole lot more, Go towwwtiltedhalohelpcom, where I've
got a resource guide and otherresources waiting for you, and
be sure to say hi to me,Kathleen Panning, on LinkedIn.
See you on the next episode.