JAD DAVIS : Divergent, Neuroqueer Expression & Queer Music Futures

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, hi, everyone. Welcome back to the Trans
Narrative Podcast. I'm Caroline, and it's so good
to be here today with Jordan. Jordan Braxton.
Oh my God, welcome. Back.
Thank you. I'm so happy to be back again.
Yes, it's good to have you. Thanks for being here and
returning as guest Co host. It's Tess.
You were just here with us recently.
Hello. I was and thanks for having me

(00:23):
back. Yes, it's so good to have you
here. Thank you so much.
And today, our very special guest, Jad Davis.
Hello, welcome. Bye, hi.
It's so good to have have you here.
Thank you. Thank you for being here.
I I see it's truly a blessing tobe received.

(00:44):
I'm super grateful. Thank you.
So before we get started, a little bit about Jad.
Jad Davis is a Memphis based artist and creative force whose
career spans music, fashion and community advocacy.
As the front woman of Night Divergent, Jad began breaking
musical boundaries in 2011 as Memphis's first hyper pop

(01:06):
artist. Long before their transition,
their artistry has always been tied to self-expression and
disruption of norms. Before stepping in the music,
Jad led the fashion world from 2009 to 2012 as Production and
Operations Manager with Revolutionary Runway, while also
modeling, coaching and serving as a creative director for

(01:26):
numerous publications. In 2012, they combined music in
Compassion by collaborating withLe Bonhora Children's Hospital.
Le Bonnar. Le Bonnar Le Bonnar Children's
Hospital to bring performances and recordings to children
undergoing treatment after three-year.
After a three-year sabbatical, JAD returned to the spotlight,

(01:47):
inspiring many by publicly embracing their tradition during
their 2024 Focus Magazine People's Choice Award
acceptance. In a polarized world, JAD stands
rooted in authenticity, permitted to uplifting Memphis,
pushing creative limits, and using their platform to offer
hope and boldness. Thank you so much for being

(02:07):
here. No, thank you so much.
I'm so excited. It's really a blessing.
It shouldn't be revolutionary what we're doing, but it happens
to be such in this time. And I think that's like a gift

(02:30):
and of itself to get to be at another arc of our movement.
And so I'm very excited to see like the way people really
respond to authenticity where I live.
It's a bunch of artists. There's so much art in Memphis.

(02:51):
And it's often misrepresented, if you ask me.
But but yeah, it's it's really exciting to kind of like get to
see what I've seen because I am,I'm 38.
And so I have seen a little bit of a shift enough to know that
it changed the impact of my lifeand the trajectory and the, and

(03:12):
the ability for me to learn myself.
So it's definitely like, and I'mstill very new.
Like we just started not even a month ago.
And it was like the first PR move we did for our single ended
up being historical because there hasn't been a trans person
on live broadcast in the state of Tennessee since 1965 with

(03:36):
Jackie Shane, who was a Black trans woman, not only surviving
but thriving. And we love that.
And so that's super inspirational and just goes to
show that you can't trust everything you're told.
You have to know that we've beenhere, we've been doing this.
This is nothing new. And so when they called what I
did historical, it just kind of was like, I think more to so to

(03:59):
the point, it's a great pivot point of conversation to to say
that there's so much queer history.
And I don't mind saying that I am not the first, Like they're
they're my firsts are still within my reach.
And I talked to and they were sosupportive.
Maggie Trissler was one of the first musicians to like really
lead a band as a transgender woman.

(04:21):
And when I told her what they were telling me, she was just so
supportive. And I'm just so grateful for the
sisterhood that I've entered with this chapter and, and what
it means to be trans, not only on a like modern day level, but
I love world history, I love LGBT history and I love I'm so

(04:43):
deeply rooted in my ancestry that I have just come to accept
like what I am and what that means in representation of my
village. And so it's super like full
circle. But anyway, thank you for coming
to my Ted Talk. Thank you.
Thank you so much for being heredad.

(05:04):
I I love that I we typically come back from our music with
with our guest Co host introducing the show, but you
you made an entrance. I am so happy to have you here
today with Jordan and Tess and it's going to be a great episode
and and thank you. That was that was incredible.

(05:24):
I am honored to be here with youtoday.
It. Is so good to have you here.
We're very honored. And so we're going to take turns
like asking you some questions and the first question I have
and, and I can't wait to hear about your background, but where
did you grow up and what kind kind of environment shaped you

(05:45):
as a young person? You know, I was born on an
island in South Carolina called Parris Island.
And yeah, I'm an Islander, but so I moved a lot starting off.
But I'll tell you, the most impactful was like, deep in the
country, like where the floor was broken and you had to step

(06:08):
around it. And just like playing out in the
woods with my cousins and just really like experiencing what we
would probably call a deep line of poverty today.
But I don't know when you're kind of living that experience,
you don't really absorb it that way.
So I'm very much country, walkedaround barefooted all the time.

(06:32):
And I like grew up and we all kind of learned when I didn't
like the tractor Christmas gifts.
So it turned from that to candy machines and things of that
nature. And so, and you know, I look
back now and these were just simple dollar store items, but I
very, I very much come from a a rich country love experience.

(06:56):
Oh, that's so awesome. Now you So you were on the
Marine Corps base in Parris Island.
Yeah. My father at the time was based
there. And so I know that we relocated
a couple of times before we landed in Tennessee.

(07:16):
And then when we got to Tennessee, we left Tennessee to
go back to the country and then we came back to the city.
So it was a lot of back and forth and probably passed like
early adolescent into like priorto preteen.
It started getting a little harder and a little more

(07:37):
tumultuous with the environment.And so there's just there was so
much bouncing around. But yeah, we started off there.
Well, I started off there. Well, I kind of like started off
my adult life at Parris Island because I was in the Marine
Corps. Fascinating kismet, are you?

(08:00):
Serious. Wow.
Yeah, I was there. I was in, I was there 1985 from
July until October. Yeah.
So I I just yeah, you don't get to meet many civilians who were
actually there. So that is super cool.
What a coincidence. I swear it's.
Also, with you moving around theway you did, that really helps

(08:23):
to shape who somebody is too, doesn't it?
Yeah, I think so. I I think you really get a basic
comparison for the way things are and, and I myself am
neurodivergent. So it took a little bit of time
to kind of like acclimate to what was like not living in a
fantasy world. And so I think, like I said,

(08:47):
that the country experience was the most like hands on.
I remember ghost stories being so real and like actually spook
you and things of that nature. Like I, I just remember those
times as the most impactful to the like, wanderlust that I
crave in life. So I kind of, I always go back

(09:09):
to that because just like many of us, you know, the story isn't
all pretty. And I, you know, I'm in this
chapter where I'm learning that I have to choose to focus on the
things that I want to represent me and I want that to be the
love. And so that's kind of where I
find my pivots and conversation when people kind of learn where
I'm from. But it hasn't always been that

(09:32):
way. You know, a lot of people go
through that experience and chapter in life where they often
they're, they share where they come from, and it's often led by
the times in which they were hurt.
And you know, it's not to say that they're wrong for that
because we have to practice our humanity and understand that
people go through a lot. And so I just, I, I try to find

(09:55):
my pivot right now and take a lot of inspiration from Dolly
Parton in terms of how the storyneeds to be told.
I love that. Yes, good old Dolly Parton, She
asked. We love Dolly.
Yes, we love Dolly, she inspired.
I know I was in 13 different schools before I graduated and,
you know, I had to learn to be sociable for survival and some

(10:19):
of these schools that I went to.But that is what has turned me
into a complete social animal. And I'm, you know, at the time,
moving around didn't feel so great, but now I'm really
thankful that we did. I have another question for you.
Were you always drawn to performance and visual

(10:41):
aesthetics? Absolutely, because I think back
to like one of my earliest memories is Paula Abdul dancing
with the cartoon Kitty cat and and I just opposite.
Opposites attract. Yes 100% that and cold hearted
snake too. We love that tins.
But with that said, I also remember the 90s Kool-aid Man

(11:06):
commercial where all the kids were in the factory doing
choreography, and I just remember how, like cool I
thought that was. And so I've always done that.
But again, that kind of goes hand in hand with the ancestry.
I feel like I'm mostly Scandinavian and Irish.

(11:26):
And so I really have come to understand like a lot of those
things was the fertility of the mind that we possessed.
One is an Islander because it's where land meets water.
And so it's the most fertile. Praise Freya.
And so I think that I definitelyembody those like principles as

(11:48):
a human. And so I very much lean into
that now because I find a lot ofpeace.
I, I do a lot of looking back. I, I look at the young baby and
I look at the young man and I never had contempt for any of
them. And they would be proud of who
she is. So I'm not so concerned so much
when I look back or think back about like the, I really find a

(12:15):
lot of solace and like loving myself prior to this chapter.
And so I think that these questions are kind of cool
because I've been doing a littleof my own rekindling with the
past. That you talk about your
memories of growing up. So what are some of the
formative memories that shaped your past?

(12:37):
Well, OK, so I know I love horror because I remember this
one time we were literally sitting around a campfire and it
was the telly pole, a scary story where this guy finds a
Cryptid and shoots it and it's tail falls off and he hides it
in the house. And every night he hears the

(12:58):
thing coming knocking on the window saying I want my telly
pole. And so that used to like spook
the heck out of me as a child. And so like I loved horror
because the ghost stories were so cool just sitting around the
fire. And you know, my mom, she was
very into like it's a new age kind of vibe and Nintendo.

(13:21):
So video games were very much that.
And so were crystals. I loved crystals.
I thought black crystals were the coolest because of the
movie. I thought that was neat.
But a lot of like my formative childhood memories are really
kind of they're very personal. I've never shared them before,

(13:43):
but I'd love to share them here.But so, yeah, I, I remember the
first time I went on a tea date and it was with this, like
stuffed animal that I had that was my size and he was a boy.
And I just remember like I was talking and like I kissed him on
the cheek. And I just remember how innocent

(14:05):
and safe I felt. And I also Remember Me and my
little sister, I was always so protective of my siblings, like
very like super protective. And so we would, we would always
hang out and I remember trying on my mama's nightgowns with my

(14:27):
sister and it was just, it was just normal.
It was innocent. And those are the kind of little
things that I know that we all are at the core of existence
before we're introduced to contrast and training and
brainwash. So I really actually try to hold
on to those. They're very personal.

(14:50):
Well, thank you for sharing those very personal ones.
We appreciate it. Yeah, thank you for letting me
share. No.
You want to talk about Nintendo,Jordan and I?
We're. Probably playing with the
original Atari. Yes.
Tank and pong. Yes.

(15:10):
Anyway. I am I, I resonate a lot with,
you know, as when you, you bringup, when you bring up ancestry.
I've been, you know, working through a little bit of my
ancestry and I found some indigenous roots and I found
Sweden roots and I found so manydifferent types of ancestry with

(15:32):
it and it's so. Beautiful.
They have a place for us. It's so cool.
Like one of my favorite things that you don't hear talked about
a lot and you've only heard one professor talk on it.
But his publishing firm stopped him from speaking on it until a
couple of years later. And I think that's really neat
to consider that they kind of calculated a higher end when
these topics are going to kind of pop off.

(15:55):
And sorry, I don't know if I just jumped on your sentence or
not. I got excited.
You're. Good, please.
But with that said there's the story of Frey and Freya.
And so I am a very big into Freya.
She is definitely my archetype. But with that said, her brother,

(16:16):
twin brother, there's a story where to wreak to get back to
his lover, he has to go be with the goddess.
And to be with the goddess, he must drop his sword and go
through 9 days of agony. And so I resonate with that
story because he gave up his manhood just to be with his

(16:38):
lover, to become a woman. And so some say that that is why
Freya was erased, was her tie tobeing the, the complete
embodiment of one person. And so I kind of thought that
was cool because there's a lot of there's a lot of there's a

(16:58):
lot of what's the word passive, direct reference to trans people
and our history and those regions of the world.
But we very much existed and we very much had a place amongst.
And you know, Native Americans will tell you that a lot of

(17:19):
these practices were not just theirs.
This was what everyone did pre pre colonization.
So I kind of find that fascinating.
So it's neat that they had a place for us.
And I just, you know, I find a lot of comfort in the stories
that are really kind of there tokind of let you know that the

(17:41):
feminist C of our chromosome is not abnormal and it is a part of
the the actuality of humans. It's it's I love it.
It's super fascinating. I think that's I think that's
really beautiful because I thinkhumans are so they just we love
stories And and I look at my life as a story, like a movie

(18:01):
that might just be the bipolar, but I, you know, I like to think
of my life as a story of an arc.And there's and there's so much
to it. And, and I love, I love stories.
There's a story of a tiger in the woods, but I don't want to
get into that. But I'll tell you a different
time. And it's so beautiful.
And, and so for me personally, these stories, it's such a, such

(18:22):
a big role in helping me discover parts of myself that I
otherwise wouldn't have known. And so, you know, can you share
a little bit of your journey of,of what self discovery look like
for you and, and kind of how that played into coming to
understand your place in the universe?
So yeah, I'm ADHD and high functioning, so it took a minute

(18:49):
for me to quite A to understand social science and structure,
but I learned a lot about acclimation or how to dress
acclimated from America's Next Top Model.
It was my hyper fixation for a minute.
And so I really kind of like obsessed over that to the point

(19:10):
that I took all my social cues from that show.
And so that was what what led toone thing.
And I, I started because it all started when I became a dance
teacher. And it was so funny because I
was such a dreamer and just had such a hunger for something that
I didn't even know what a 8 count was when I went in.

(19:31):
But I went through intense training for the first three
months, But they they like that was the beginning because that
led to modeling. Modeling led to the city.
The city led to well, first it was really people and learning
how to throw a good party. And then when I took that to the
city, that's something that's alchemized into nightlife.

(19:54):
And so I kind of went down this opportunity that this guy
presented to me in a photo shoot.
He's like, I bet you can throw aparty because I was just this
like very androgynous club kid and loved platform boots, Loved,
loved, loved, got a closet full but and so I was just always on.

(20:17):
Anytime cuz I was a nanny in thecity, right?
So I didn't really have to like have such a stricted hearing
dress code or schedule. They, they hired me because of
how I was and how they wanted toallow me to segue into the city
from the country. And so I took that opportunity
and so I experienced the nightlife.

(20:41):
Now, I actually jumped into a very huge leadership role with
Revolutionary Runway, not understanding the social science
and ability that it was going torequire because it was so
stressful. It was very hard to deal with
just a bunch of vendors, artistsand models.

(21:01):
It's a very overwhelming capacity when you're throwing a
full-fledged event and you're the one kind of doing
everything. And so I did that for a little
bit, but that kind of led to my deep rooted fascination with
music because I would always make passive dreams in my mind
that if I could just find a Segway, I just want to see what

(21:21):
it's like. But the truth is that's what I
wanted to do. And so I was surrounded by so
many artists who had been doing it their whole life, craving
what I had at my fingertips. And so I kind of felt like I
didn't deserve it because I didn't invest the way that
others did. And so I kind of segwayed from

(21:43):
the nightclubs, which I was veryblessed.
I look back and there were so many people who cloaked me and
made sure that I was taken care of.
And they were very elite people and that very, very
multicultural and diverse too. I'm just super lucky.
I believe in the law of attraction and so through my
20s, which is kind of where we're at right now, I did keep a

(22:04):
gratitude book for every year. I still have like 8 of them
sitting on my shelf. It's exciting.
It is cool memorabilia to have later.
I will say I have. My journal still I love.
I have my intention boards I used to write on whiteboards and
I set the intentions for the year and I have a word of the
year and I still have a song of the year.
I have 20 song of the years. Sorry, I just, I do those little

(22:26):
quirky things like that too because I love.
I love. I just love.
I love. I love myself and I love life.
Sorry. No, don't be sorry.
We love it. You know, we really are
something I'm learning and well,actually we should wait.
I'll I'll get to that. But I do believe we're all
frequency and maintaining that frequency is fundamental.

(22:48):
But with that said, so we got into music, and music was really
cool because I didn't realize how impactful like I was being.
I was just existing. And I've always been somewhat of
a Princess because I've been super lucky with the people that

(23:11):
I've been surrounded by. And I've always, like I said,
been cloaked by the right people.
And one of those people is actually a huge conduit into a
lot of this. He's my current drummer for my
band. His name is Rob Coletta.
But he was very, he used to run this place called the Memphis
Rehearsal Complex. And so there was like all kinds

(23:32):
of like major moments for music in there.
And so it was cool to kind of bein there all the time and just
kind of experience like a dive into the music lifestyle.
And so from there I experienced a lot.
And again, I kind of became a little more mobilized because

(23:53):
Trayvon Martin, the moment Trayvon Martin was a topic,
there was a huge activation for me personally because a lot of
people, I just remember being the topic of conversation was
being held up in traffic. And something clicked with me
when someone was mad about beingheld up in trafficked, but not

(24:14):
about a mother never seeing her baby again.
And so for me, that was like this huge, like awakening moment
at 27. That's late in the game.
But again, I am I am neurodiverse.
So I guess it's not as abnormal for my bracket.
But with that said, I came to understand a whole lot more,

(24:35):
which deepened this like platform that I knew I had.
And so I began weaponizing it against the anti.
And I remember I did this very well.
This is critical. So do you know, this isn't as
casual, but just to share kind of the depths of where my art

(24:56):
took me and processing the angerthat I discovered within myself
in this world. I came to understand like the
way so many humans are not givena chance to just be fairly doing
the human thing. It's just you can't.

(25:16):
There's so many blockades and genocide and marginalization is
so subliminally passive that it's really hard for most humans
to articulate. And so I really had this gift of
articulation that I just really had to mobilize and I had to
learn when it was my time to speak, when it was my time to
listen. And I remember the most profound

(25:37):
moment that I still look back on, and it's the only thing I've
left to stay from the archives was I did a cover of Somewhere
Over the Rainbow and I hyper masculine masculinized myself
and made out with a black trans woman with theater blood pouring
out of our mouth held by the American flag.

(26:01):
And so I just remember the, like, the power it felt to take
something and with another, another partner in crime, if you
will, to like, take the moment and really cultivate a moment of
reflection because a lot of people in the city kind of
responded to that. They were just like, whoa, whoa,

(26:22):
whoa, whoa. Like, you've been doing this
this whole time. Where did this come from?
And it really was because peopledidn't know that.
Now I know the conversations I'mhearing in the studio are not
appropriate. You should not be discussing
these things in front of me. And there are conversations and
people that were facilitated that should not be facilitating

(26:43):
me in the same structure. And so I really conflicted with
my coming to understanding of being an artist and what it
means to be an artist today because I was introduced in such
a naive manner where, dare I say, I was in a very watered
down world that permitted me alone off the way I looked.
And that's not enough. That's not acceptable.

(27:07):
There were so many times I was treated very unruly and very
disgustingly before I understoodthat that's what it was.
And so now that I had this awakening within me, it began
this avalanche into what would become my identity.
Because I would go from there and I would start wearing makeup

(27:27):
because it felt good. And I didn't care what people
thought about stiletto nails. I didn't care.
Like it doesn't matter what you think.
I look good. It doesn't matter what I am.
And so it really became a huge, like I said, avalanche into
that. And so I remember the first time
I saw, I think it was Adore Delano on Ru Paul's Drag Race.

(27:48):
I was like, I've never seen another person like me, but not
on TV, not at this level. And then I just, I was like, I
can look like that too. And so I went and looked like
that and it just LED from one thing to another.
And then I would experiment withwigs and I would enter the world
of corporate beauty where I would train with Lancome and

(28:10):
learn about the depths of beautyof all ages and how it's an
honor to get as far as we can get in this world.
So you learn appreciation backwards, going going
backwards. And so I really loved that.
And like I really leaned into Beauty World because I went from

(28:33):
this chaos to a place where I made sense.
And so that was really transformative for me going back
into the studio because I wantedto make this collection of
bombastic comic book pop. And it's just the same elements
that we would later call Hyper Pop.
And something I again don't believe is that I'm the

(28:56):
original. I'm just the first one, I guess
to really recognize and call it out because to be honest, I
speak on behalf of the same generational vibration that we
all pull from. And so it's not nothing.
I love Marie Antoinette. Something she actually said was
there's nothing new, only what is forgotten.

(29:17):
And because a lot of people don't know, the propaganda was
just propaganda. It's not things she actually
said. But with that said, so I entered
this like aloof version. I kind of fell back into a
bubble, if you will, with beauty.
And I remember the first time I got flown out to LA for a make

(29:38):
up gig and it was the most abusive, toxic situation I had
ever experienced. Now mind you, the LA people,
they were cool. But the team from Memphis,
there's like a hungry shark is just that.
And so it was very toxic and it was very demeaning.

(29:59):
I look back now and I remember the way that they wanted.
They had suggested, let me say it correctly, they had suggested
that I should give up what I wasdoing if I wanted to be a part
of this, which was going into the next season of their show.
And so I was just like, you think bread crumbs, which I was

(30:19):
referring to a selfie with Vivica A fox as you think bread
crumbs are going to sell me out of my hard work.
And so they were like very angrythat I referred to it as bread
crumbs. But celebrities with another
selfies with a celebrity is justanother human.
It's not it's cool. I've seen this person.
I like this person. And let me tell you that person,

(30:42):
I don't know if she's acting because that's that's how she
acts. I love it.
It's like don't change Vivica ifyou see this one day.
But but yeah, that was a really cool moment.
But at the same time, it was very, it was very awakening to
the depths of the industry I wanted to enter.

(31:06):
And so it taught me to stand a little firmer in myself because
I remember being at that PR junket and all the cool people
liked me. They didn't have a problem with
me like the crew did. And so I didn't understand like,
because I was trying to be cool with my crew, you know what I

(31:27):
mean? I was trying to like, really try
to do that. So this was just an introduction
of leaving the nest and going into the industry.
And it, it formed me more because it made adult onset for
PTSD so real when I came home that my life would change
because I would think about leaving music and leaning into

(31:53):
my practice, which has been there this whole time.
I've been self practicing since 19 with my ancestral roots.
And so I leaned a little more into that.
I, I got in an adult relationship, helped raise a

(32:16):
four year old into a 12 year old.
They Co parents so well, the momand dad that my job is so like
it's so the easiest part I thinkbecause he comes to me about
the, the, the profound conversations.
And so I find that cool because we don't talk about identity or

(32:40):
identity politics because I've been there this whole time.
And so he doesn't really view me.
In fact, he thought it was so cool what I did at transfest.
He thought that was so cool. But I have a good boy and I love
him very much and he's taught me, which has formed me because
I spent a lot of time with him and COVID and quarantine.

(33:02):
And so, so that brings us to the, the spiritual journey
because my partner had to go away for some time and I had to
experience these things through a non, a non binary format.

(33:23):
By the way, by this point I haveunderstood that I am non binary
and we're talking 29 going into 30 when I would start gender
fluidding, just leaning into gender fluidity like it was very
the safest place to be because Ididn't want the world to tell me

(33:44):
what I was and I didn't want thepressure of my personal beauty
to make it a easy decision either.
Because I value beauty and respect it so much and I love my
Goddess so much that beauty cannot be the reason alone.

(34:06):
And so it's not a identity is not something to tokenize at all
really. It's just something that we
should recognize within each other and glorify because the
individuality is what it boils down to.
But anyway, so I'm kind of breaking away and running off on
a tangent, but I kind of discovered my non my non binary

(34:28):
identity. It was such a funny moment to Oh
my God, I can share this here. But like I was at work, right?
And so I was walking back to therestroom cuz the restrooms were
at the back of the store. And so no, no tea, no shade.
We all used the men's restroom cuz in beauty the women's
restroom is scary even for the girls that work there.

(34:50):
So we all use the one single man's restroom and cuz men
rarely ever come in. And so I was walking back there
and I got stopped and the stylist was like, you can't come
back here. Her hair is down.
And I was like, what do you mean?
She's just like, you're a boy? And so immediately I was like,
oh, oh, oh. And then I went to the bathroom

(35:11):
and then I stopped because I knew how that made me feel.
And I was like, why did you feelthat way?
And so I couldn't unhear that inmy head from that point.
And so I remember Psycho Cybernetics said that you become
closer to yourself. Doctor Maltz, Dr. Malt said that

(35:32):
when you can talk, see yourself talking to yourself, who you are
in your head is often more of a reflection of you than who you
are outside. And I could never see me.
And so I, I see me now. Now I see her, but there was
this part of me that had not reached that point yet.

(35:54):
So we set a non binary for a good seven years.
And then in the absence of what was a normal life during
quarantine, I got deeper rooted in my presence because people
were very into. I was very celebrated when I

(36:15):
came out as non binary and I recognize what that means.
I recognize because I was introduced to this activation
through the hard critical lens outside of my own placement.
And so I understood how profoundit was that I kind of went viral

(36:35):
in my city for like, talking about these things.
And so that would lead to leaning into my spirituality and
weaponizing because Frey, I was so angry at the world, the way
the mask mandate was trading me or treating me because I've
always been a manager and leaderin these spaces.

(36:55):
And so, you know, people don't want to hear no from you.
They don't want to and they willchallenge it.
And even I experienced that and it's so abusive and toxic.
I would get cussed out and called out by my genitalia in
front of children while being recorded.
It was very sorry. I should have said trigger

(37:16):
warning. But this is the reality.
It's whatever. This is life.
And truthfully, without the contrast, I wouldn't have grown.
And I had I come closer into myself, I wouldn't have cared.
So the truth is, is that contrast is sometimes necessary
because it's the only power we'll allow to influence us.
And so especially a strong willed individuals that people

(37:38):
in our community are, sometimes it's only the universe that'll
we allow to teach us. And so with that said, I became
very activated and became more risque.
I started weaponizing my body since everyone wanted to bring
it up. And so I would take very risque
ritual selfies and I would post those and go viral in all of the

(38:04):
like the Pagan groups. And so it wasn't until I was
tipped off that I was trending in a Proud Boy gun group and
they had my another trigger warning.
They because to me, I'm OK. I don't really like invest
emotional thoughts into this because being what I am, I've

(38:25):
trended on the Internet a coupletimes on Reddit for the tear
them apart thread and like, because I've always been
bombastic with my presence. And so, but I I've some of those
jokes were funny. Like I come from the era of
Internet too. Don't get it twisted.

(38:46):
But but with that said, I went on that group and I wasn't like
scared. It was the way all these men
were discussing and dissecting my body and I'm just like, wow.
Like if I had an only fans rightnow I bet you I'd be making
money off all of y'all. I got AI have a question for

(39:09):
you. You know, you talk about how you
like love hyper pop and I'm I ama baby boomer, so I don't know
exactly what hyper pop is. So could you explain to me and
our listeners what hyper pop means to you and how you use it
as a tool of transformation and expression?

(39:32):
And I just love how you blend fashion and music and activism
all together. How does that all blend with
with hyper pop? So actually very well, because
to me, if you were going to ask Chad Davis, OK, this is really
just what I think because there's so many people, you
know, when something in music becomes mainstream, the

(39:54):
gatekeepers gatekeep. So with that said, I don't think
that my opinion is exclusive, but my version of it that I
recognize is the subliminal evolution of the neurodivergent
community and the way that we wecombine stimulation with music.

(40:15):
And so hyper pop is this exemplified larger than life
presentation and juxtapositioning of like.
Of fast beat elements and often like out of context lyrics.
And so it's just a huge juxtaposition.

(40:35):
And honestly, it's reflective ofthe neurodivergent community
because with ADHD, there's certain sounds that tickle your
brain and there's certain like rhythms that activate your like
excitement. Hyperpop is an articulation of
that. And so I, that's why I think
hyperpop became a natural evolution in the generation

(40:56):
because neurodiversity is so much more common now than it was
as it's been allowed to go out, procreate, exist and create.
So now we are a lot more relevant in the community.
And so hyperpop to me is just ADHD pop music.
And so that's, that's kind of what it means to me because I

(41:19):
have to think about how I arrived at that point naturally.
I didn't know it was a thing. And it wasn't until I started
looking at La Underground that Iwas like, oh, I'm really out of
context, aren't I? And so I kind of understood that
I was part of a generational sound that was already
happening. I was just in another part of

(41:39):
the world. And so that was kind of cool.
That was when I recognized that,oh, hyper pop's going to be
real. And so because I look back and
my producer gave me such a hard time about combining metal
elements with fast, tense techno.
And it's like, guys, what do youthink Gen.
Z is like, come on, Like, that'sthem.

(42:00):
So I was, I guess, ahead of my time.
But yeah, Hyper Pop was an articulation of those things and
an evolution of the neurodivergent community within
those spaces. So, you know, we've spent a lot
of time understanding, you know,you, you, you spend a lot of
time in fashion and that kind ofrole.
Then now in your recent life here, you've you've navigated

(42:22):
more into a creative performancedirections.
So tell me about how that kind of took place from going in from
fashion and to really getting into making your music and
sharing that publicly. So that we were arriving to the
point of the sabbatical, which before we get too far, I wanted
to say my favorite thing right now, something Deepak Chopra

(42:42):
also kind of thinks is that we are all reflections of the same
God experiencing their self. And so all of us are actually
just different parts of that. And there's so much reflection
of that and BC practice and stuff.
And I think that's such a neat deep.
Dive. Yes it is.
It's nice to meet you. But but we had arrived to this

(43:04):
point where I had gotten so angered and that was the moment
where I went into the adult world and I would do fantasy
burlesque kind of stuff on the Internet.
I'm very much encrypted. I love it cuz when people find
me in public, they like really respond in a certain kind of

(43:25):
way. And I, and I find that
fascinating. But I would like just do random
pop ups of like an elf with this.
And I had this big like choker and a big like larger than life
chain that would go off stage and I would just do my thing
and, and it really worked. I realized the kind of crowd

(43:46):
that I pulled in are a lot of the people that like to run
their mouth. And so it taught me more.
This was like a revisit to the the harsh critical reality of
activism. And so for me, it became this
because I learned, I leaned intomy practice and I really took

(44:08):
from the primal fundamental properties and really leaned
into that. And I learned how to alchemize
that energy. And it's very easy because it's
a very blatant 1. And I think that it kind of like

(44:29):
put me in this like state of psychosis.
I'm not even going to lie. Like we're talking.
I'm literally outside on a stoolin my underwear with a drum.
Like we're literally living the life.
I had a Hut outside everything. I was sleeping out on the moons.
Like girl was in it. OK.

(44:49):
And so I really leaned into thatand, and I became more in touch
again with being because this isat this point in my life, I
would leave beauty to go work with animals and I loved being
non binary with animals because just like the animals, I just

(45:09):
stand. And I found that to be the
safest place to cultivate to find out who I was.
And so coming out of that sabbatical chapter, I leaned
into my life again and focused on my tarot card business for a
minute because I did that COVID,A quarantine kind of took me

(45:31):
into that professionally becausethat's a big hyper fixation of
mine. I've been studying for 24 years.
I have the same books and notes that I've been taking from my
whole journey. And so like literally I'm
looking at a whole curio cabinetfull of tarot card decks.
But with that said, I leaned into that professionally instead

(45:52):
of artistic expression because Iwas doing art and I wanted to
make my life a tax write off. So I was doing the the practice
and leaning into it to cultivatewhat it meant to combine my
artistry with awakening parts ofus that a lot of people like us
have forgotten. And so I began doing practices

(46:18):
that involved dancing in front of symbols and recorded them in
frequency hurts and did my chanting with that.
And so that was kind of like a new Segway and chapter for JAD
in Memphis because I had went into a very deep practice and

(46:40):
representation and presentation of how I lived my life
spiritually. And so coming out of that, which
is now more to the recent, I've only recently come out of that
chapter because it took a lot oftalking into me before I was
like, because I'm like praise for you all day.
Like I'd rather just please let me stay in my delusional world.

(47:02):
I don't want to live here anymore.
But but I have really like, I wanted to get back into music
for therapeutic reasons because I recognize that I'm an artist
and an artist has to live the lifestyle.
It's kind of an exploited thing,the industry, because a lot of

(47:24):
these people are going to be this no matter what you, whether
they're famous or not. It's just a part of a village.
Yeah. It's just it's a natural part of
of the human process. And so some of us are
representations of what we are, which is frequency.
And frequency is done through Sonic exemplification or however

(47:48):
you want to word it. And so I find that to seeing is
to be the closest to God you canbe.
And it's not about sounding good.
It's not about sounding any typeof way, it's about emulating
that frequency that we all are. And so it attunes you.

(48:11):
And I understood that it was time to leave the safety of my
practice and return back to myself.
And so I went into therapy and my therapist just flat out asked
me. He was just so random about it.
One day in session and he was just like so why haven't you

(48:34):
transitioned yet? And I was just like cuz I don't
want to get killed. And I answered so quickly I
shocked myself. I was like, oh.
Yeah, cuz that's kind of like anintermission in itself right
there, you know, just like you're acknowledging, yes.
That's yeah, that's huge. That is huge.

(48:55):
And it was, I was almost like kind of tricked into it.
Like not tricked into myself, but tricked into.
He caught me off guard with thatquestion and.
Answered so fast you knew. Yeah, I knew.
Yeah. And I didn't realize I was
harboring that. That way I'd become so good at
ignoring it because I just am. But no I.

(49:18):
All of us. Because, you know, the doctor
asked you one question and before you even think about it,
you shot the answer out of your mouth and you're like, oh, I
didn't know that was just in there.
Yeah. I'm never at a loss for words.
I'm used usually the Chatty Cathy, the group.
I'm just so intrigued and have just like soaked in everything

(49:38):
you said and just completely just mystified with your
presence and your journey. And I just, I really have almost
have no words other than just like, I'm so proud of you.
And when you're just doing such a wonderful job.
Thank you, that means a lot. It really is.

(49:59):
It really is a journey, but you know, I, I'll be completely
honest, I'm only 10 months into my HRT journey, so I've always
kind of reflected who I am anyway.
Like I've always kind of been mostly there, I think.
So it, it feels really cool to like, to like kind of like now

(50:25):
when I look in the mirror, it's so different now.
Life is so romantic again like. Oh my God, I feel that romantic
is such a good term for them. Jordan, were you going to say
something? I was just sitting here.
First of all, I want to echo what Tessa said.
I'm just enamored by all the howconnected you are to yourself

(50:45):
and how connected you are to theuniverse.
And I know there are a lot of trans people out there who are
not. So I just always like to know if
you could say something to the trans community, what other
trans creatives, how would you, how would you connect with other
trans people through your music and visibility?
Because I'm, I'm a person that'sall about visibility.

(51:08):
I love trans visibility. I love the joy that trans people
have. So what message are you sending
to other trans creatives throughyour music and your visibility
And these wonderful stories thatyou tell?
I love. You know, it's, it's really you,
you belong. Like if there's anything that I

(51:30):
hope my story will help share with others is that you've
always existed and you've alwaysbelonged and you've always had a
place in the village. That is never not been a thing.
And you can't let modern day dictation tell you what it meant
back in the day because that's how they scare you into

(51:51):
believing and submitting. The truth is, is that we have
always been here. We have never not been here.
And so as long as we have known humans that we have always been
here. And so that is something that I
think is super important becausesomething right now, that is my

(52:11):
favorite thing to say right now because I have to remember that.
Now let's turn on the critical thinking for a second.
Something that is super important for us to remember is
in this modern time, it took both sides of the aisles for us
to even get to where we got. And that is so unfortunate.
With that said, I, I'm from the South and I where love becomes

(52:39):
infectious but not trusted up front.
And so I definitely recognize that while I definitely want to,
to be there for, to represent for our own, I also want to
represent the ones that have been genocided out of their
families and the ones that have been removed because I represent

(53:04):
family and I represent what it means to come from support.
And so I, you know, I'm a full-fledged career 9 to 5
worker on top of a very strong passion for what I do in the art
world. So if there's anything I just
hope that people gain from seeing me, whether they're trans
or not, is that it doesn't matter what the world says, it

(53:28):
matters what you think. And that's literally the like
whole pivot of human existence. The only reason trans people are
such a hot topic is because we reflect a part of humanity that
has been taught to be feared within them.
And so we are a pure representation of what that
means in modern day. So we challenge power, we

(53:51):
challenge authority, and not even on purpose.
So when what? When some of us become activated
enough to share that, the true power begins unfolding.
So I, I definitely, that's kind of what I resonate with in the
artistic community because the honest truth is I don't, I don't
relate a lot. I don't look out there and see,

(54:16):
I'll see glimpses of myself and other people, but I don't see
anybody saying it the way I'd say it and reminding people the
way I would remind them. And so that's kind of where I'm
at in this like experience of conveying a message.
Because at first I was just going to make art.

(54:37):
I wasn't going to do the activist thing because it can
weigh heavy. And when you're trying to live,
you can easily hide behind your privileges easily.
And so I didn't want to do that.I wanted to challenge my own
fears. I wanted to challenge my own
things because I'm just human. I'm I'm a messy ass human.

(55:00):
I'm not going to pretend I'm notdifferent than any of my friends
I have. I do not operate exclusively in
a legit to pick wild world. I am very, I'm a very modernized
version of what it means to be what we are.

(55:20):
And so I definitely lean into what it means to carry that.
So I am definitely more reflective of of Memphis than
just just the trans experience alone because I feel like what
we are, it speaks for itself. I don't have to say anything

(55:42):
about that to others. Now in this context, in
conversation, Oh my God, I'm so grateful to share and talk about
it. But something I've learned in
other outlets is that I got to be careful because they
politicize. And so, and it's OK, It's OK
that people do, but you know, I need you to still pass me the

(56:02):
casserole after the conversationat the table, so.
That part right there. Yeah, so it's OK, You don't have
to like me. You'll love me later.
But yeah, that's what I think about when you ask that.
Sorry. So I, I, I want to know, you
know, well, two things really. You know what, what are you

(56:25):
hoping to bring with your work with, with what you're doing?
Well, what are you, what are youhoping to bring to Memphis and,
and the larger cultural conversation and beyond that.
Can you, can you dive a little deeper into divergent and where
that is going and and what that means to you now?

(56:47):
So it was after the election, I was just like, because I, I was
healing from my FFS and I was just like in the first week of
it. So I'm just like, like, and I
turn on the TV and I'm even morelike.

(57:07):
And so I sit down and I pull outmy tarot cards and I'm just
like, what does this mean? It was so horrible, girls, when
I tell you the suffrage was real.
She was living off Mac and cheese and mashed potatoes.
It was so hard. OK, So I pulled out my tarot

(57:31):
cards and you know what they said?
It was so profound. It was so profound.
I was just like, This is why. This is why I do this.
It was just like, it is only in the face of battle that you
learn to use your skill set. Yes.
And so I was just like, you knowwhat?
We were given a good training session for the last eight years
here, weren't we? So let's do this.

(57:53):
So that's kind of where I came from.
And I was just like, OK, we're getting back into music, but
this time I'm going to do rock'n'roll because my job is to
go in and dismantle the stereotypes.
My job is to go infiltrate the spaces and look them in the face
and then go out, perform them, and then go out there and be hot
and just be like, oh, you think it's hot?

(58:14):
Oh, you do. Oh.
Do you? Can we pause for one second
test? Just I want to say thank you so
much for being here today. It's really been a pleasure.
Thank you for joining us, Tess. Thanks, I have tornado sirens
going off. Here, get on the road, girl.
Get to the stellar girl. OK, safe be.

(58:35):
Safe. We just.
We just had devastating tornado tornadoes here in Saint Louis.
Be safe. Test.
OK, it was very nice to meet youJab.
We'll talk to you soon. All right, bye.
You be safe. Bye bye.
Nope, I'm trying. OK.
Now we're going to pause for just a second, so because I'm

(58:57):
going to take that and I'm goingto clip it in to the end.
So it's a beautiful of editing. OK, where do we leave off what
we're saying? Well, that's OK.
So what keeps you grounded and hopeful or no actually continue
what you were saying because youwere going into your answer

(59:18):
you're talking about divergent and.
Oh yeah, Divergent. So yeah, so I partnered with
some musician friends that I hadand, and just something happened
like estrogen did something to my singing it like it it took
away the tension of nervousness becoming myself.

(59:41):
And so the real singing began. And so hi, my best friend is a
drummer and he had been like telling me, hey, let's do
something. I'm ready to do something.
And so and you know, I come from, again, a very supportive
tribe. So everyone was with me during
this whole process. Like I did not stay at home

(01:00:05):
because I did not have to. That was the luxury of having
the privilege I had was the love.
I could go be around love. And so I did that and so.
That's the crew that kind of like pushed me into music again.
And and I love it because I agree.
I think that now's the time and my job is again to go infiltrate

(01:00:29):
these spaces and it's time to like start looking them in the
face and start challenging. Like tell me to my face that I
don't belong. Like tell me to my face because
we're here. We're both here.
We're equals because I love, I love pushing the boundaries and,

(01:00:49):
and those kind of environments because people, they respond to
me in a way that I noticed can be used for greater good.
And so that's kind of my, that'swhy I think Rock'n'roll is a
great one, because I think it's time for Rock'n'roll to be
reclaimed. I don't think that rock'n'roll

(01:01:11):
is political, and I think politics belongs in those who
don't have the choice. And I wait.
Did you say rock'n'roll is not political or?
I said no, it is political. OK, good.
Absolutely. Oh my goodness.
Yeah, no, Rock'n'roll is the is the is the push against the
establishment. And so I think that that goes

(01:01:33):
hand in hand with what it means to do what I'm doing.
I just happened to be in a very safe, protected position to do
so. And so I'm very grateful to
carry the torch with Jackie Shane.
It's such an honor to say that ablack trans woman open this door
for me. Like, especially in Tennessee.

(01:01:53):
OK, Are we hearing this 1965? I don't know who the president
was, but I know he wasn't giving.
And she got on live broadcast. It was Johnson.
Yes, I know, I, I know the history of Jackie Shane.
And I'm very, I'm very grateful.The door she opened up for all

(01:02:15):
of us before even anybody even knew what transgender was.
And so it makes me so mad now that we're being dehumanized and
bastardized when back in the even when there were trans
masculine men dancing the Argentine tango, how that was
revered and how we went from people being revered and Jackie

(01:02:37):
Shannon having a #1 country songand having all these things.
And even Sylvester, you know, how did we go from being
accepted to being demonized? And how are we going to how are
we going to reverse that? And I think great artists like
you are helping us do that. So I mean, how can we in these

(01:02:58):
kind of times, how can folks uplift trans and queer creative
in a meaningful ways? How can we support you?
You know, I really think it's about, you know, the industry.
There's, there's a couple of ways when we're talking like the
industry, we have to remember that that this is a game of

(01:03:19):
numbers people in network. So it's all about word to mouth.
So you just always plug where you can plug where it makes
sense. And so if you come across people
and you feel that you lead with a good impact, then you leave
them comfortable sharing you with other people.
And so I just challenge all of my brothers and sisters and

(01:03:40):
siblings to reflect and recognize that we have so much
power to change what needs to bechanged.
And it requires our diplomacy and our articulation and grace
and patience. We must fight with the love of a
wayward mother and we must fightwith the love of orphanage

(01:04:07):
leader, you know, and I mean like these, these people are our
village and we have to remember that they need us.
And that's why the surplus is ishappening the way it is, is this
is a natural game of nature. And so I just, I strongly urge
us to remember that love is always the answer.

(01:04:28):
And while it does require a level of critical thinking and
articulation, we must remember that empowering each other is
important. And it's also important to
remember that we reflect the love that they are missing, and
that is why they need us. They think we're their enemy,
but when it's all said and done,they will come to understand

(01:04:49):
that we were there to ignite them with love.
And so I think that's super important because it's so easy
to get lost in that in politics and and woo woo conversation.
It's so easy. But it really boils down to the
basic social sciences here. And we represent, we are the
representatives, We are the onesin the media outlets, on the
platforms talking to people representing our village.

(01:05:12):
And so it just really requires us to to own that, in my
opinion. But you know, I guess for those
of us who are just young and just starting out, the biggest
thing is making sure that you stay 100% yourself.
Fitting into the box will alwaysdistract from your fullest

(01:05:33):
potential, and you cannot find that until you discover it
because there's no one else likeyou.
You can find it through the basic comparison, but it will
only be a basic comparison. Who you are is yet to be
discovered and articulated by you.
So don't let people pressure you.
Don't let people tell you what your art needs to be about.

(01:05:55):
You don't have to sing any aboutanything you don't want to sing
about. You don't want to talk about
nothing you don't want to talk about in work and professional
and art, all those things. And I think that that's a
reclamation. Like I know that when people ask
me like if I'm OK, cuz when I'm a manager, people will be like,

(01:06:17):
are they taking care of you? Are you OK?
Like, are you captive here? Like it's, it's really about
reminding them that it's like, I'm a leader, aren't I?
Like I'm good, like everything'sgood.
So and I know that it requires our fortitude and vigilance.
So don't get me wrong when I saythat, but I just think it's

(01:06:39):
important to stay mobilized and understand what we what we mean
to the village. And that is free thinking.
That is individuality and the personal power of your your own
will. And so I think that that's what
the trans community brings. And I think that's what young
trans and queer artists need to remember is that while you were

(01:07:01):
are in a better period, it will only stay that way.
Should we push it. And so I think that our job is
to challenge the current chaos. And it is definitely it is
definitely an honor and a spiritual.
It's a divine purpose to have, so I definitely encourage people

(01:07:21):
to lean into that. Someone's got to be the chaos,
darling. That's right.
And sharing those stories, thosesharing those stories challenge
the narrative, challenge the anti trans narrative that's
being pushed by those political puppets, which we all know is,
is they only do it because they think of the topic to winning.

(01:07:41):
And the more that we tell our story, the more that we get out
there, the more that we are seenand seen as people just like
everyone else, the more that, that, that, that will shift
into, into a space of, of, as you spoke for, of, of love and
gratitude and, and, and a space of, of, of returning back to a
better way of being. And, and it, and it requires us

(01:08:02):
to fight day in and day out for that.
And for those listening, I really just I want to take this
moment, you know, before, beforewe wrap up here, just to say
thank you for tuning in every week and being here and
listening and, and giving us your time and, and your
attention and just being here and sharing and, and getting to

(01:08:23):
know us and, and hearing our stories and, and today hearing
of Jad Davis and, and everythingthey have to share with us
today. And Tess and Jordan, thank you
so much for being here. Tessa, it's been a pleasure.
Thank you. Put the clip in there and then
Jordan, Jordan, Jordan Braxton, thank you so much.

(01:08:43):
It's been such a pleasure havingyou here.
Well, thank you for inviting me back again.
It was an it's always an honor. And and I'm always loving all
these stories of the trans people because as you can see,
we have a spectrum of stories and everybody's journey is
different. And I want to thank you,
Caroline, for giving us this platform to tell our stories.

(01:09:06):
Yeah, you know, I'm, I'm grateful to be here.
So thank you. Thank you everyone for tuning
in. And and you know, before we go,
if you would like to have your story heard and, and be here
with us and, and even guess how host is as Jordan has and Tessa
has, please e-mail us at transnarrativepodcast@gmail.com.
That's transnarrativepodcast@gmail.com.

(01:09:30):
We'll have you on the show, Jad.Where can our listeners find
you? Where can they find Divergent?
Where can they find your other work?
Where can they get to know you more?
So right now we are rebuilding the brand and platform so our
single sick addiction can be found on all major streaming
platforms and you can find Jad Davis on Facebook.

(01:09:54):
If you want to look a little deeper in, there will be more
social media platforms to come. We're still in the beginning
phases of our roll out and I'm super excited for what the year
is going to bring. We have some big things around
the corner and you'll be able tosee our music video by mid next
month. 11 music video. If you could sing one truth into

(01:10:16):
the ears of every young queer person listening, what would
that lyric be? You are limitless.
Oh I love that lyric. You are limitless.
You are limitless, yes. So, you know, I really, I really
want to take this time and thankyou for being here everyone.

(01:10:37):
Tessa Jordan, Chad, Chad Davis, thank you so much for being
here. It's truly a blessing to be
received. I'm very grateful.
Well, we, we love this, we, we really enjoy being here.
And and before we go, I'd like to ask as we carry on through
our week and care in our hearts this wonderful time that we we
sit together, all of us listening and hear present in

(01:11:01):
this in this space, what would you like to leave us with as we
carry on throughout our week? What message would you like to
leave us? You just, you got to, you got to
get up and dream. You can't just wait.
You got to get up, you got to find what it means and you got
to like go find it for yourself.And you're only going to do that
if you go try new things and challenge and and dare to dream.

(01:11:24):
I want to be myself today. The.
Sun's not coming out and I like the rain.
I don't like my voice, of the way I look.
Everything it took would leave. You should.
I wish that I could greet like you, Take Me Out of walking,

(01:11:50):
talk and just actually cool likeyou.
I abuse myself when I'm misled. I make sure you can tell me I'm
wrong if I was in addiction. I fight in a kid when my own
words I say my sick self love addiction.

(01:12:14):
I don't want to hear my shit today.
Pour me another shot so I won't complain.
I don't like my life or the way I feel from where you stand in
my look like a grin.

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