March 13, 2025 • 9 mins
We explore the unique perspective transgender individuals bring to understanding gender dynamics and bridging divides between men and women.
Our conversation reveals how experiencing life from multiple gender perspectives provides invaluable insights into dismantling harmful stereotypes and building unity.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
fucking make situations hot and heated, and
you know exactly what the fuckI'm talking about.
When you go into a bathroomyou're like, why the fuck am I
hard anyways?
Um, it's, it's.
It's interesting to be in thatand and to have that experience
as a trans man because, like,I've been able to turn it on,
turn it off by adding hormonesor taking hormones away, and I
can tell you flat out, likethere are men's mental health
(00:21):
issues that also are being dealtwith and they also suffer from
misogyny themselves, and that'sthe craziest against each other
often even women perpetuate themisogyny on them.
It's like, oh, you got to bethis way, you got to be that way
you got to be whatever.
No dick size this, that and theother, and it's like men suffer
from it too, and what I rememberyou were telling me before we
(00:43):
got on it's like what is thepurpose of our voice?
Why the hell are we doing allthis shit?
What are we doing it for?
My hope in the long run for atleast my particular path in life
is to really bridge the gapbetween men and women and the
understanding of it, because Ihave experienced childhood as a
woman, and what happened withamani khalif is exactly what I
experienced as a child, becausethey they were like that's a man
(01:04):
Cause I was like six feet tallin you know fifth grade and they
were like what the so like.
I experienced that as a child.
But I also experienced thehardship of what it actually is
to be a man.
I have a wife, I have theexperiences that all that come
with that, the trials andtribulations of providing as a
man and showing up as a man,protecting as a man.
All of that shit is also hardand also not discussed.
(01:27):
So that's why this red pillcontent comes out and I kind of
understand the like, the angleof where they take these young
men and be like hey, we're goingto help you, we're going to
solve this shit.
But as a trans guy, I want tobe like hey, that is actually
not what women want.
I got women want.
I got a vagina.
Listen, let me show you.
You know, and I want to fuckinghelp guys out too, because the
(01:47):
violence again that'sperpetuated in the world comes
from the duality of women beingmisunderstood and men being
misunderstood simultaneously.
But women have we have right, wehave so many environments in
which we can vent about transpeople are so important for this
message, and I think it's whysociety has so many trans people
right now, is because thegender wars are so fucked that
(02:07):
we are actually popping up moreand more to teach the life
lessons to the, the greaterconsciousness as a whole, and I
do feel like that's what I trulythink experience systemic
oppression at the hands of men,that sometimes we do not take
men's issues seriously, and we.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I just want to say personally to everyone watching
I have been accused several,many times of being a
misinterest and I just want torespond to that.
I am not a misinterest.
I do not hate men.
I do not believe that women arebetter or deserve more rights
at all, but I do take issue witha pattern that I have witnessed
in which men will be facingvery real and very serious
(02:47):
hardships and concerns andostracizations based on their
identity and, instead ofexternalizing that in a healthy
way of trying to connect withother men and bridge those gaps,
they will externalize it in away that is attacking and
dehumanizing women.
That is the issue.
It is not your hardship, it isnot your struggle.
(03:09):
We want to help you, we want tohelp you, we love you and we
want to help you and see yousucceed, because when you fail,
it affects all of us.
Yes, it does, it really does.
We're not on a different team.
We like have to live togetherand we are not against you in
any way.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's when you use your pain and your suffering as
an excuse to attack women that Itake issue like seriously, like
when you say, like a race war,we don't have a race war, I was
like I don't see that.
I don't want that to happenbecause I feel feel like we've
had so much time to grow andlearn that we should be able to
(03:50):
at least sit down and be like,hey, this really isn't what it
is.
We need to figure out ways thatwe can work around this.
We need to figure out theschools.
We need to figure out this lifein general, the schools.
We need to figure out this lifein general, the things that we
are teaching our kids right now.
What are we teaching our kids?
Our president can be this nastyperson and still win.
(04:15):
Are we teaching our kids that,no matter what, there's
consequences to your actions andthere's actually a better way
to do things to make otherpeople's lives better versus
worse?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Yeah, I was.
I want to share my coming outstory with you guys because I
feel like it's important,especially based on what you
both just said.
Yeah, I have a father who isfrom the South, like the South,
yeah, uh, christian, super, andeveryone.
When I came out it was like,well, how are you gonna tell him
?
Like?
Everyone was kind of like weknew, like you know, we're
waiting for you, but how are yougonna tell that man?
Because my dad's very like, he'smy dad's, he's like the
patriarch of our family, he'slike one, he's the one, um, and
(04:48):
we're very close.
I remember I called my and Itold my dad when I was in
college.
I came out to him and I waslike you know, daddy, whatever,
whatever.
And he said to me he goes again.
I was afraid he's like I tellyou kids all the time.
He's like I had you.
I know every single thing aboutyou before you know it about
yourself.
My daddy and I are like thisbecause he was like I'm not
going to take all of this likepast trauma of whatever I've
been through with my.
(05:08):
You know my, my religion and my, my big from the South and I'm
not going to project that ontomy son like this.
I love my daddy because he didnot fall victim to.
You know what I mean.
I was telling my partner thislast night.
I was like I'm so happy.
You know what I mean.
That's so rare, which isdisgusting that that's rare.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
That's for black men.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Black community really needs to do that better.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I actually have the same experience with my dad
because I told him like Dadyou've probably seen my
Instagram.
You see how I changed a lot andhe's all like and we never had
a good relationship Like.
I was always with my mom allthe time.
So when I told my dad, I'm likedad, you know, this is what I
am, this is what it is.
(05:53):
He's all like baby.
You always had a good head onyour shoulders.
You've always been accomplishedin everything that you do, no
matter what it is, and you'vealways made your own way and I
love you, no matter what.
And for him to be from theSouth also, that is a big thing,
because that teaches anyonefrom the South, any black person
(06:16):
within their families.
Acceptance is there, you justhave to give it, ride it and
then you all eat together.
No matter what, we all going tocome to the same home, we all
want to come back to the samepeople, we all going to make
money, we all going to wintogether.
But when you take that second,that option and be like I don't
want to deal with these people,guess what?
(06:36):
Now I'm winning without you,and when I win without you, I'm
gonna win big, oh for sure, likeI'm gonna win the lotto up in
here.
And then when I win that lotto,guess what?
You're left in the back, I'm inthe front and anyone who was
with me during that point isgonna win with me I love that we
all understand the importanceof unity, like in this room.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
I genuinely appreciate that.
I just really hate that.
The reality of it is donaldtrump and the way that he
weaponizes people, the way thathe uses people.
It's disgraceful, it'sdespicable, it's disgusting.
But I believe that it will takeus building a coalition amongst
each other and having theseconversations and carrying these
conversations over that we canfight against that.
(07:20):
You know what I mean, like as atrans woman.
I just think about where I amin society now, especially being
a black trans woman.
Then, on top of that, I'm alsonative as well too, and so
there's a lot of, there's a lotof like transphobia within the
Native American community thatI'm also a part of.
So you know, I look at where Iam in this country today and
where I stand, and I'm justexhausted yeah I have been out
(07:43):
here advocating for black women,black men, uh trans men in
general trans men I've beenadvocating for everyone,
everyone, and I just want to seea return on my investment
there's a phenomenon, have youseen there?
Speaker 4 (07:56):
was this have you seen the like hashtag black rest
or something like Black WomenRest?
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Yes, I'm glad you brought that up because I have
been contemplating whether Iwant to promote that, because,
as a black trans woman, I needto rest too, but I can only rest
for so long, because I knowthat if I rest too long I'm not
going to be able to come back.
Number one.
Number two I could be in aplace of detriment where I don't
(08:22):
know if I can pull myself up.
You know, as a trans person inthis country, our rights to
gender affirming care, ourrights to be able just to use
the freaking bathroom.
You know, my friend sarahmcbride is going through what
she's going through in congress,which I'm so proud of her
because I've known sarah forover 10.
When I first became an activist, you know she was there with
HRC and so you know it's just alot happening.
(08:45):
But I appreciate theconversations whether we agree
or disagree that are happeningaround that, because that's how
we build coalitions ofunderstanding you.
fucking make situations hot and heated, and
you know exactly what the fuckI'm talking about.
When you go into a bathroomyou're like, why the fuck am I
hard anyways?
Um, it's, it's.
It's interesting to be in thatand and to have that experience
as a trans man because, like,I've been able to turn it on,
turn it off by adding hormonesor taking hormones away, and I
can tell you flat out, likethere are men's mental health
(00:21):
issues that also are being dealtwith and they also suffer from
misogyny themselves, and that'sthe craziest against each other
often even women perpetuate themisogyny on them.
It's like, oh, you got to bethis way, you got to be that way
you got to be whatever.
No dick size this, that and theother, and it's like men suffer
from it too, and what I rememberyou were telling me before we
(00:43):
got on it's like what is thepurpose of our voice?
Why the hell are we doing allthis shit?
What are we doing it for?
My hope in the long run for atleast my particular path in life
is to really bridge the gapbetween men and women and the
understanding of it, because Ihave experienced childhood as a
woman, and what happened withamani khalif is exactly what I
experienced as a child, becausethey they were like that's a man
(01:04):
Cause I was like six feet tallin you know fifth grade and they
were like what the so like.
I experienced that as a child.
But I also experienced thehardship of what it actually is
to be a man.
I have a wife, I have theexperiences that all that come
with that, the trials andtribulations of providing as a
man and showing up as a man,protecting as a man.
All of that shit is also hardand also not discussed.
(01:27):
So that's why this red pillcontent comes out and I kind of
understand the like, the angleof where they take these young
men and be like hey, we're goingto help you, we're going to
solve this shit.
But as a trans guy, I want tobe like hey, that is actually
not what women want.
I got women want.
I got a vagina.
Listen, let me show you.
You know, and I want to fuckinghelp guys out too, because the
(01:47):
violence again that'sperpetuated in the world comes
from the duality of women beingmisunderstood and men being
misunderstood simultaneously.
But women have we have right, wehave so many environments in
which we can vent about transpeople are so important for this
message, and I think it's whysociety has so many trans people
right now, is because thegender wars are so fucked that
(02:07):
we are actually popping up moreand more to teach the life
lessons to the, the greaterconsciousness as a whole, and I
do feel like that's what I trulythink experience systemic
oppression at the hands of men,that sometimes we do not take
men's issues seriously, and we.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I just want to say personally to everyone watching
I have been accused several,many times of being a
misinterest and I just want torespond to that.
I am not a misinterest.
I do not hate men.
I do not believe that women arebetter or deserve more rights
at all, but I do take issue witha pattern that I have witnessed
in which men will be facingvery real and very serious
(02:47):
hardships and concerns andostracizations based on their
identity and, instead ofexternalizing that in a healthy
way of trying to connect withother men and bridge those gaps,
they will externalize it in away that is attacking and
dehumanizing women.
That is the issue.
It is not your hardship, it isnot your struggle.
(03:09):
We want to help you, we want tohelp you, we love you and we
want to help you and see yousucceed, because when you fail,
it affects all of us.
Yes, it does, it really does.
We're not on a different team.
We like have to live togetherand we are not against you in
any way.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's when you use your pain and your suffering as
an excuse to attack women that Itake issue like seriously, like
when you say, like a race war,we don't have a race war, I was
like I don't see that.
I don't want that to happenbecause I feel feel like we've
had so much time to grow andlearn that we should be able to
(03:50):
at least sit down and be like,hey, this really isn't what it
is.
We need to figure out ways thatwe can work around this.
We need to figure out theschools.
We need to figure out this lifein general, the schools.
We need to figure out this lifein general, the things that we
are teaching our kids right now.
What are we teaching our kids?
Our president can be this nastyperson and still win.
(04:15):
Are we teaching our kids that,no matter what, there's
consequences to your actions andthere's actually a better way
to do things to make otherpeople's lives better versus
worse?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Yeah, I was.
I want to share my coming outstory with you guys because I
feel like it's important,especially based on what you
both just said.
Yeah, I have a father who isfrom the South, like the South,
yeah, uh, christian, super, andeveryone.
When I came out it was like,well, how are you gonna tell him
?
Like?
Everyone was kind of like weknew, like you know, we're
waiting for you, but how are yougonna tell that man?
Because my dad's very like, he'smy dad's, he's like the
patriarch of our family, he'slike one, he's the one, um, and
(04:48):
we're very close.
I remember I called my and Itold my dad when I was in
college.
I came out to him and I waslike you know, daddy, whatever,
whatever.
And he said to me he goes again.
I was afraid he's like I tellyou kids all the time.
He's like I had you.
I know every single thing aboutyou before you know it about
yourself.
My daddy and I are like thisbecause he was like I'm not
going to take all of this likepast trauma of whatever I've
been through with my.
(05:08):
You know my, my religion and my, my big from the South and I'm
not going to project that ontomy son like this.
I love my daddy because he didnot fall victim to.
You know what I mean.
I was telling my partner thislast night.
I was like I'm so happy.
You know what I mean.
That's so rare, which isdisgusting that that's rare.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
That's for black men.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
Black community really needs to do that better.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I actually have the same experience with my dad
because I told him like Dadyou've probably seen my
Instagram.
You see how I changed a lot andhe's all like and we never had
a good relationship Like.
I was always with my mom allthe time.
So when I told my dad, I'm likedad, you know, this is what I
am, this is what it is.
(05:53):
He's all like baby.
You always had a good head onyour shoulders.
You've always been accomplishedin everything that you do, no
matter what it is, and you'vealways made your own way and I
love you, no matter what.
And for him to be from theSouth also, that is a big thing,
because that teaches anyonefrom the South, any black person
(06:16):
within their families.
Acceptance is there, you justhave to give it, ride it and
then you all eat together.
No matter what, we all going tocome to the same home, we all
want to come back to the samepeople, we all going to make
money, we all going to wintogether.
But when you take that second,that option and be like I don't
want to deal with these people,guess what?
(06:36):
Now I'm winning without you,and when I win without you, I'm
gonna win big, oh for sure, likeI'm gonna win the lotto up in
here.
And then when I win that lotto,guess what?
You're left in the back, I'm inthe front and anyone who was
with me during that point isgonna win with me I love that we
all understand the importanceof unity, like in this room.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
I genuinely appreciate that.
I just really hate that.
The reality of it is donaldtrump and the way that he
weaponizes people, the way thathe uses people.
It's disgraceful, it'sdespicable, it's disgusting.
But I believe that it will takeus building a coalition amongst
each other and having theseconversations and carrying these
conversations over that we canfight against that.
(07:20):
You know what I mean, like as atrans woman.
I just think about where I amin society now, especially being
a black trans woman.
Then, on top of that, I'm alsonative as well too, and so
there's a lot of, there's a lotof like transphobia within the
Native American community thatI'm also a part of.
So you know, I look at where Iam in this country today and
where I stand, and I'm justexhausted yeah I have been out
(07:43):
here advocating for black women,black men, uh trans men in
general trans men I've beenadvocating for everyone,
everyone, and I just want to seea return on my investment
there's a phenomenon, have youseen there?
Speaker 4 (07:56):
was this have you seen the like hashtag black rest
or something like Black WomenRest?
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Yes, I'm glad you brought that up because I have
been contemplating whether Iwant to promote that, because,
as a black trans woman, I needto rest too, but I can only rest
for so long, because I knowthat if I rest too long I'm not
going to be able to come back.
Number one.
Number two I could be in aplace of detriment where I don't
(08:22):
know if I can pull myself up.
You know, as a trans person inthis country, our rights to
gender affirming care, ourrights to be able just to use
the freaking bathroom.
You know, my friend sarahmcbride is going through what
she's going through in congress,which I'm so proud of her
because I've known sarah forover 10.
When I first became an activist, you know she was there with
HRC and so you know it's just alot happening.
(08:45):
But I appreciate theconversations whether we agree
or disagree that are happeningaround that, because that's how
we build coalitions ofunderstanding you.
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