Exploring the complex intersection of trans identity and public accusations, this conversation delves into the dangers of exploitation and the journey toward authentic healing.
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Episode Transcript
when she started blowing up again on tiktok is
when she accused me of falseallegations of so it created her
following to go up, which Ithink is what really created her
addiction in tiktok, becauseI've seen so many tiktok
creators do that and kind ofexploit themselves like not not
to say that we don't, you know,do things that are messy for
attention, to get views.
Let's be real, we do that too.
(00:22):
But uh, the way that she'sdoing it in the direct harm and
then sitting there and sayinglike I love this individual and
regularly dating trans men, likeI have a problem with that
narrative because it's extremelydangerous to have two million
followers and in this climatethat we're looking at and just
really disregard and spin thenarrative in a way that, again,
(00:43):
you are a trans man, you're nota cis man, so you don't have cis
women are a problem.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Protection in the way that a cis man would be
protected yes, when theseaccusations are being thrown at
you.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Um, and then just, I also want to give you an
opportunity.
Is there anything that you sawfor other trans men and mistakes
that you may have made that youcan really because, because I
think you know how I see mymasculinity and manhood is
really like owning and takingaccountability.
I think it's really powerfulfor men for us to really own our
(01:15):
mistakes.
So is there advice or maybesomething you might've done
wrong that you might've wishedyou could take back?
Or where do you want?
What's the message you want togive to the internet, because I
know that that message has beenskewed for you in so many ways,
and I want to give you anopportunity to really educate
people that trans people exist.
We experience harm in verynuanced ways and even within the
(01:38):
our own LGBT community I mean,the T's now gone from LGB and
most of the community silentabout it what, what lesson would
you want to give especiallytrans men?
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Absolutely so.
The lesson that I reallylearned here is we do need to be
careful of one who we arechoosing as our partners and
even just surrounding ourselveswith in general.
Because this woman I wascompletely vulnerable with, you
know she was with me before Ihad gotten top surgery.
Also, I've let her know theinsecurities of my transition.
(02:10):
She's willing to in and out tomy transition and then later,
because I was so vulnerable andI was able to trust her and that
was, you know, my I guess morelike my judgment on my end, and
that's why I will takeaccountability.
I was so vulnerable withsomebody that I knew in a sense
didn't really love me but hopedfor it more so and in the end
(02:33):
found out the hard way.
So we just really need to becareful on who we're surrounding
ourselves and which you knowwomen or men that we are dating,
because some people do look atus as a fetish.
Some people do not actually,you know, have good intentions
with us and when dating publicfigures, we need to be extremely
careful on their intentions,because some public figures will
(02:55):
prey on you and you know theylike you and they want to be
with you.
But trans is different.
It automatically does bringnumbers and I had said that the
other day and I got crucifiedand I'm like we are different.
It automatically does bringnumbers and I had said that the
other day and I got crucifiedand I'm like we are different.
That's true, people are curiousof us.
So when a cisgender persondates a trans person and they do
have a public platform a lot ofthe times the people are very
(03:16):
much interested in the transperson and in the relationship
and things like that.
So when dating public figuresand things like that, you just
be careful.
It's okay to be vulnerable.
Just make sure you're beingvulnerable with yourself.
Also, with experiencing that, Istarted to think very toxic and
I had to lean on you know, oldertrans men or even other trans
(03:37):
men checking me.
I had started to get like kindof like a toxic masculinity,
like a thought process withlittle things like oh, we can't
be so feminine.
Yes, we can, that's not aproblem.
And I I had to learn, like achance man, a few chance men had
checked me.
Like what do you mean?
Like there's cis men that arefeminine and masculine, like
that doesn't even make sense.
I'm like you know what?
(03:57):
Wait, hold on.
You are actually absolutelyright.
But because I was being socrucified, I allowed the toxic
thoughts and then I startedcriticizing myself and I'm like
no, we can't be like that.
We need to be, we need to belike this, 100% manly, and we
can't, we can't even represent alittle bit girly.
That is not true, um, and Ihave fell victim to that toxic
(04:19):
thought process for a second andI had to rewire and be more
open and understand that thereis no rule book to being a trans
man.
You don't need to act like allthe other cisgendered men, you
don't.
You could be 100% feminine andstill be a trans man.
There's no rules to you.
Um, and I think I also learnedthat also throughout this whole
(04:42):
like you know situation with solike my thought process kind of
altering and then other transmen kind of like giving me
advice and letting me knowbecause I was like I want to
change my feminine, my femininetraits, I don't want to have no
feminine traits.
Because I was constantly beingcritiqued and now I'm like I
don't give a damn, that's who Iam.
If you think I'm sassy, thenshit, I'll be sassy.
I'm still a fine ass man.
(05:04):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Like yes, you are.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
I gotta tell you.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I had a final question too.
I wanted to know something.
Go ahead, how is Josiah Peacehealing?
How are you doing now, Likelet's?
Talk a little bit about that,because this was a lot.
And we need to know how you'rehealing.
What's going on?
Do you got a new boo?
We'll see.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
You want to know what's going on.
Also, he's got a new apartmentactually.
Oh, congratulations.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Thank you, thank you, you.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I told you I followed you.
Josiah, I know all your stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You are a real one, bro.
You are a real one.
I honestly, I feel great.
You know, with the healingprocess there are some days that
are harder than others, andthis week was a little rougher.
I like to be like, I try to betransparent with, also my
community, because I want it tobe a safe place.
I want people to see to like weare influencers, but we are
(06:01):
people like you know, we feel,we feel emotions.
So this week was very rough onmy healing journey.
Um, but something I'm trying tofocus on that I didn't used to
do is I I used to suppress myemotions and gaslight myself out
of feeling how I felt and whenI would feel myself about to cry
, like you can't cry, like don'tcry, like you're being, you're
being a little bitch and it'slike.
Now I'm like no cry, allowyourself to feel that, leave it,
(06:24):
let it go and and move on.
Um, so, day by day, it'sdefinitely getting better.
In the beginning I was likethis is never going to get, like
I'm going to feel like thisforever.
But as time goes on, I'mhealing.
When it comes to love, I'm opento love, but I want to make sure
(06:45):
that I'm presenting myself tomy future woman a hundred
percent healed and a hundredpercent a man that I know that
she's going to be able to loveand a man that's going to be
able to provide.
My transition is something thathas really saved my life and I
take very, very serious.
It's like a completely reborn.
Even with my dating Before mytransition, I was not the best
person to deal with with themcheating and just because I
(07:07):
didn't love myself and who I was.
So there was a lot of like youknow, messiness and things like
that.
But I want to just make surethat I'm 100% healed and someone
is receiving all of my love andall of me, because I know I
have a lot to bring to the table.
So I am, I'm definitely happyand healing.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
if that makes sense, I love it, that's beautiful and,
josiah, I just want to thankyou again, first of all, for
taking this horrific situationthat happened to you, and it
sounds like the message thatyou've learned is that toxic
masculinity, especially throughall the nuances of what you
experienced, even from anotherfellow trans man.
What happened to you, um, thatyou're not becoming bitter,
(07:49):
you're becoming better as a man,and I think it's important for
us, as trans men, to stand upfor the feminine man and stand
in that gap for them as well.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
all hit the like button.
We need monetization more.
Okay, hit it if you hate us.
The comments gonna be floodedwith hate.
But you get paid either waymake sure you hit the subscribe
(08:20):
button down below so that wayyou'll know when me and shane
are on the air.
And don't forget to take alittle time to enjoy the
transparency podcast show you.
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