December 9, 2025 • 24 mins
Arkadiy Volkov is a Registered Psychotherapist and the founder of Feel Your Way Therapy, a private practice in Toronto specializing in trauma-informed care. After a decade-long career as a lawyer, Arkadiy made a personal and professional transformation, shifting into psychotherapy to help people heal from anxiety, trauma, and relationship challenges.
At Feel Your Way Therapy, Arkadiy leads a team of therapists who work with individuals, couples, children, and families using approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), EMDR, CBT, DBT, and somatic-based practices. His work is rooted in attachment theory and the belief that healing happens through safe, attuned connection.
Arkadiy is especially passionate about helping people move beyond protective strategies like emotional shutdown or perfectionism, and into deeper self-acceptance and secure connection.
In This Episode
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At Feel Your Way Therapy, Arkadiy leads a team of therapists who work with individuals, couples, children, and families using approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), EMDR, CBT, DBT, and somatic-based practices. His work is rooted in attachment theory and the belief that healing happens through safe, attuned connection.
Arkadiy is especially passionate about helping people move beyond protective strategies like emotional shutdown or perfectionism, and into deeper self-acceptance and secure connection.
In This Episode
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.
You can learn more about what I do here:
The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSa
———
If you’d like to support The Trauma Therapist Podcast and the work I do you can do that here with a monthly donation of $5, $7, or $10: Donate to The Trauma Therapist Podcast.
Click here to join my email list and receive podcast updates and other news.
Thank you to our Sponsors:
Incogni - Use code [traumatherapist] and get 60% off annual plans: https://incogni.com/traumatherapist
Jane App - use code GUY1MO at https://jane.app/book_a_demo
Journey Clinical - visit https://join.journeyclinical/trauma for 1 month off your membership
Therapy Wisdom - https://therapywisdom.com/jan/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Trauma Therapists podcast. My name is Gamiferson
and I interview incredible people who share the story of
how trauma has shaped their lives. And a big thank
you for sponsoring today's episode goes to my guest and
our sponsors. So five, four, three, two and one, our folks,
(00:24):
welcome back to the podcast. Very excited to have as
my guest today. Arkadi volkov Ar Kati Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Thank great. I appreciate being here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
You are welcome. Cutti is a registered psychotherapist and the
founder of Fuel Your Way Therapy, private practice in Toronto,
specializing in trauma informed care. After a decade long career
as lawyer, Arkati made a personal and professional transformation, shifting
into psychotherapy to help people heal from anxiety, trauma, and
(00:53):
relationship challenges. At Fuli Waight Therapy, he leads a team
of therapists who work with individuals, couples, children and families
using approaches such as emotional focus Therapy MDR DBT, among others.
His work has rooted in an attachment theory and believe
that healing happens through safe, attuned connection. All Right, Arkati
(01:15):
obviously just a little bit about you before we going
share with the listeners where you're from originally and where
you are currently.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, Originally I am from Russia. I was born in
the very north of Russia in Mormansk. Then I grew
up in Moscow and I moved to Canada six years ago.
So currently I am in Toronto, in Ontario.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Okay, so lawyer. Some might think of those as opposite
ends of a continuum sense. What how did things evolve
for you such that you were like, so, like, I'm
no more lawyer, I need to become a therapy How
does that happen? What happened?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I often wonder about that myself. I guess one was
one of those probably millions of people right end up
with a kind of career with the vacation without really
knowing where they would end up when they chose the past.
First law was read something that appealed to me or
seemed attractive. But once I got my first monsters and
(02:15):
I started working within a couple of years, I just
realized that it was not the best fit for me
in terms of what was interesting for me, what I
wanted to do, and maybe I wasn't the best lawyer
there is, but still I went on to do that
for around ten years.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
But where was that cutting?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah that was back in Moscow. Yeah, that was in Russia.
I worked for a bunch of companies to doing all
sorts of things for a commerce, real estate investments, which
I actually then started to appreciate once I started my
private practice because that knowledge of the business world and
the way things run from that more logistical and business perspective,
that really helped. But at that time that just seemed
something to get away from as fast as they could,
(02:56):
And I got my second masters in consul and psychology
while working, went for an evening program and completed that.
Over several years, I kept working as a lawyer full time,
but I started gradually adding trainings to my education, started
seeing some clients as a part time job, and over
(03:16):
the years that expertise build that experience which then helped
me to transition to therapy full time once I came
to Canada.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
So the field of law, being a lawyer has a
certain cachet here in America, and I'm guessing it's kind
of in Toronto as well. It also has a certain
perception about it, some negative as well. Is it the
same in Russia.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I'd say that little profession, yeah, is more or less
the same all over the world, from at least from
what I know. I've met lawyers from all over Europe,
from the US, from Canada, first as colleagues, then actually
as clients, and I realized that that profession puts a
very similar pressure or its members all over the world.
(04:03):
And yeah, this kind of perception of how the profession works,
I think is very similar. That's another thing that I
started to appreciate about my work experience in the legal
fields because I find, at least I hope that I
can relate to people who work as lawyers and understand
their challenges. There's a lot of burner, there's a lot
of stress, there is a lot of anxiety, and a
(04:24):
lot of isolation because it's seldomly talked about, probably not
the first thing that comes to your mind when you
think of someone working as a lawyer.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So what you said, you practiced for ten years, that's
a long time. What was it What started to happen
where you were like, huh uh, I need to shift?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, very similar to that. Actually, I think I've always
known that I had an interest for just the way
our mind works. And first it was just to study
in philosophy, studying history of thought to be drawn towards
art and the way we can represent ourselves through so
many creative outlets. And I first thought that it would
(05:02):
just read something that interests me, and I can just
keep at a hobby while doing something else. But I
think as I worked, I just came to listen to
myself and understand that, yeah, I can come trually split,
that I come to be someone else as a full
time job and then leave who I really am for
later for some hours in the evenings on the weekends,
and I started to look for somewhere where I could
(05:24):
actually just be myself. I think that's what that was
about for me. And I didn't know anything about therapy
at that point. I didn't know not much about psychology
even and I was looking for something that would resonate,
that would appeal to doing my research. I stumbled upon
a program in council psychology, and the more I read
(05:46):
about that, the more recognized that, yeah, that's actually what
I want to do. And then the more I started,
the more I then practiced, and still with each session
I have, I just realized that, yeah, that's exactly what
probably was meant to do it. Even putting it that
a way, that's not.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
A little realization. I mean, you know, I want to
find something that resonates more with me. That's huge. A
lot of us go years without asking that question, without
hearing that knocking on the door in a sense, because
we have bills to pay, right, people we need to
(06:25):
appeal to or whatever. And my guess is correct me
if I'm wrong here. But sometimes it's even harder to
do that when you're in a field which many would
say really doesn't even honor that type of awareness. Is
that is that fair to.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Say that's true? Yeah, it doesn't honor that kind of
right kind of inclination or awareness. It also creates a
lot of comfort in a way that it is paid well.
And when you already right, it can see a way
for you to be side in life. So to say,
why more they're thinking about some other stuff. Why can't
(07:04):
you just tell yourself, Hey, I'm all right, it's not
as important. That's true.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
So you start to take classes, you start to get
more into it, it starts to resonate more authentically with you.
What do you start to or do you start to
think Okay, maybe I want to go in this direction
and maybe help this population, et cetera. What is starting
to align with you more about in the therapy field.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
That's an amazing question, actually, and I find it right now
at this point in my career where I work with students,
I supervise other therapists, and I find that is a
question that is so important when we start the practice,
and yet often overlooked because there are just so many
approaches laid out in front of you, and right, you're
just invited to peak you an initially you want to
(07:52):
work with or pick an approach or even better, right,
what I see more and more, just pick this and
this and that from every approach, do something eclectic, and
then just go and start practicing. What I appreciated about
the way my professors invited me to think about that
was first to understand how do you actually see your
clients right, how do you actually see the process of therapy?
How do you understand you can be helpful? What are
(08:14):
you hoping to happen in the process of therapy that
would heal your clients? And then building new approach from
those more general high high level ques. Once you get
this idea of who you see in front of yourself
as a human being?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Right?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Do you see a soul? Do you see a body?
Do you see a mind? Too? Right? Do you see?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
This?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Is that combination of all this? Then you can ask yourself, Okay,
how can I help them? Right? Would that be through
understanding maybe the orationality of some of their thoughts or assumptions? Right?
Or will that be about being more connected to their body,
or maybe looking for some deep meaning and connecting to
their spirituality? And these answers will really define what the
(08:51):
way you will work. But I find that the piece
is as often missing in the training of therapies nowadays.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
It's okay, so how did you answer that question? What?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Right?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
The first one was like who do who? Did you see?
How are you approaching this? What were you imagining that
was going to be in front of you?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, something that I think resonated with me from the
very beginning with the client centered approach, and I think
it really kind of resonates with the way I see
other people, maybe with the way I was shaped by
my own family experiences where I was very aware of
my inner world and that of everyone around me. Right,
where inclined to settle any conflict or not very comfortable
(09:31):
with any kind of tension, to trying to understand everyone
and kind of keep the peace. So who I see
in front of me right when a client walks in
my office or there is a person on the screen
in a virtual space, is just another another world, right,
another universe, right, with completely different sometimes maybe perspective right
(09:54):
the way I've seen themselves, the way I've seen others,
a world that I will never be able to fully understand,
but the I can try to understand at this attempt
at ready to find in the common language, attempt at
trying to understand how they experience is shaped. I think
that that very attempt can create this particular attention that
I think can only happen in therapy where I'm desperately
(10:14):
trying to understand someone I can't fully understand, but my desire,
my interest, my care sparks something in the client.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Having said that, what do you feel or what were
you thinking or feeling or hoping that you could bring
to that relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
That's a good question, I would say sometimes probably the
baseline for me was to bring that understanding, right, to
bring that attention, to bring that focus, that feeling that
this person matters to me, this person is interesting, I'm
curious to know. I want to help. I'm here to
be there for them. And I think that was the
foundation that still remains the foundation of the way I
(10:56):
see the work. But then I learned how to help
the client be more aware of their inner world right,
because sometimes we just do so many things because we're
used to doing them that way, right, we're just doing
them out of habit. Because of the work, and being
aware of them right really start to shift things and
also connecting to those different parts of our worlds, different
(11:18):
parts of ourselves that are often either neglected or shut
down or just do not feel as important as others.
That's how I probably see my work now, being able
to help the clients to embrace themselves more fully, right,
to connect with themselves more fully, to be safe in
doing that, to be safe with any part of the experience,
(11:40):
and also to be safe when related to others.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Now, when you were studying, was it in Russia.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yes, my masters I did in Russia, and then I
did on my additional training here in Canada.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Now I'm curious to what degree the culture of the
Russian culture plays into first firstly reception of therapy in
and of itself, and then secondly how that impacted you.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, that's I mentioned observation actually because I think our
culture really shapes read so many things about us obviously,
and in therapy it is very relevant. I think lately
things have changed a lot, but even when I was
doing my studies it was very different. There's still a
lot of stigma around therapy and counseling in Russia, something
(12:28):
that I sometimes observe here Againada, but to a logic extent,
a logic degree, where a lot of people consider therapy
something kind of a medical nature, something that only person
that has kind of a serious disorder might need, or
assigned that right a person there's something wrong with them,
or they can't be part of a society, or a
(12:49):
sign of weakness. Read so many obstacles that kind of
get in the way of getting people get in help.
And at the same time, and I think something that
I really liked there was that psychological school of thoughts
where that academic psychology with a very high emphasis on
a theoretical background, on deep foundations and understand into whatever
(13:11):
you do, where a lot of psychological and counseling work
stayed in that abstract theoretical field. Probably even my generation
of students that started after me, we tried to bridge
that gap, probably between that theoretical foundation that was there,
but also putting things in practice and seeing how they work,
and also feeding into experiences of specialists from other countries,
(13:35):
from other ends of the world. But there was so
much sharing going on.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
In those years. So at what point did you move
to Canada?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Was twenty nineteen six years ago?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And how is it different for you? How did you
perceive the difference in how therapy is perceived?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
So many things actually jumped to my mind. Well, well, first,
the whole field of counseling of therapy isn't regulated battle
in Russia, any person with a diploma in psychology can
call themselves well that way they want to actually write
a therapist, a counselor a psychologist to well, except for
a psychiatrist, which is still a medical profession there. So
coming to Canada and understanding how regulated things are here
(14:17):
and how this whole system works and where is my
kind of place in that system was a bit of
a challenge, but I grew to really appreciate it and
the comfort that gives a client who know who they're
dealing with and what kind of support they get, although
sometimes it's pretty complicated for them as well. But then
also being able to work with such a vas to
(14:37):
diversity of clients coming from completely different cultural backgrounds, speaking
different languages, bring in different life experiences. It was something
I was not accustomed to, and probably read those clients
I saw educated me a lot about just the diverse
human nature.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
We just remind everyone. I'm speaking with a pretty volkov
of feel your way therapy so interesting. I mean, you
have such an interesting background. I'm curious, was there ever
any It's not just coming from the field of law,
but coming from the culture of Russia, where there's a
(15:13):
certain perception of therapy. Was there ever the question of
what the hell am I doing?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah? Yes, that's a very good point. Yes, I often
ask myself that, and actually, looking back, I often wonder
how I kept going and trust in myself. Probably I
think that was a matter of just trusting myself basically
because there were a lot of things were not working
(15:42):
out right, or I wasn't sure what to expect to
at the next area, or how this will unfold. All
at the same time, knowing that I let go of
a perfectly clear or a career. So yeah, there were
a lot of doubts, a lot of anxiety still are
sometimes as right as I grow this as a business now.
But I think what really helps is that feeling that's
(16:04):
thankfully right. I'm very grateful for that that I got
some time back knowing what I really like doing, where
I really feel myself and not letting go of that,
to read reminding myself of that, and to sometimes just
trusting that it is worth it.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
So fill your waight. Therapy, trauma informed care. Why that
that's to me? Trauma is something that is particularly I
think can be very challenging for a lot of us
for a lot of different reasons. What drew you to
that and continues to draw you to that?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So the way my focus is actually shifted right a
lot over the years. So as I was first figuring
out what interests me, what appeals to me, who I
work well with, and so at first I was very
interested in working with clients present with anxiety in its
many forms, probably because I personally can relate to that
(17:04):
and it was part of personal exploration as well, but
that the more I worked, the more I saw that
it's not almost always. It's not just anxiety, it's not
just depression, it's not just issues with regulating our emotions.
So often there is something behind that. And the more
I talk to my clients, the ware I the more
I learned, the more I talked to my supervisors, the
(17:26):
more I understood that share element is very often trauma
in its many forms, and I become fascinated with the
way our life experience is either prolonged to or read
those intense similar situations can really shape our whole being,
our sense of self, our view of others, so the
(17:47):
way we feel in our bodies to The more I
thought about that, the more understand that, Yeah, that's where
I can actually do probably the most helpful. I can
still relate to clients in terms of how their symptoms
feel in the nowadays. Anxiety, this can be a low mood,
this can be regulation, this can be issues in relationships.
(18:09):
But inviting them to reflect on how their world their
experience was shaped and to identify those traumatic symptoms and
traumatic occurrencies. So that really shifted my practice.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
I think. So you start seeing clients at some point,
at some point someone comes in who's experienced some heavy
duty trauma. What was that like for you to deal
with that? Because it's one thing to want to work
with people who've experienced that. It's one thing to you know,
read all the books and go to the workshops and
(18:43):
have all that information and knowledge. It's another thing when
you've got someone in front of you who's had an experience.
What was that like for you? How did you manage it?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
It was very scary, I would say, very scary, right
to face an experience of another person that is so
sometimes out of kind of my scope, right out of
what I'm familiar working with, and to find myself questioning
everything I do because I understand how much of that
pressure is already on the client and easy it is
(19:15):
to hurt them right or to be insensible to whatso
they're going through. And I think there were two major
shifts which really helped me both drownd myself and be
more helpful to the client. Once, when I discovered semitic
based approaches and learned about to read the role that
our body plays in process and trauma and also in
(19:38):
healing from trauma, pe to living sematic experience and was
really kind of groundbreaking for me in that way. And
then discovering emotionally focused therapy and attachment theory and understanding
how trauma can impact our attachment and what role can
attachment play in healing. That probably was the most important
(19:59):
thing that happened in my practice in terms of giving
me a clear map that that helps ready to find
where the client is, that to help them make sense
of the experience, and also to understand how we can
proceed from there.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
So talk a little bit about attachment theory and what
drew you to that and how you're bringing that into
your work.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
I think something that always was on far front of
my thoughts of my reflection about therapy was how terrifying,
how awful it is to be alone. And I was
always questioning this idea, read this or magical idea of
being a lone person alone wolf and read that loneliness
and with all that flair that often comes in popular culture.
(20:41):
With knowing how actually terrifying it is to be really alone,
to feel truly alone, and how different we can feel
in the presence of another person, and knowing that this
person cares right feeling that warmth this is so hard
to put your finger on. But at the same time,
probably even what I say, of that, right, probably you
(21:01):
think of a couple of instances where you felt like
that with other people and how healing that can be.
So what I find what often happens when we survived,
is that our experience of connecting to others is really hurt,
and it becomes so very dangerous or very unsafe to
allow ourselves to connect to others. Because when I speak
about connection, when I speak about relationships, it's always twofold.
(21:22):
The clothes that we get to another person, the more
they can help us, the better they can make us feel.
But at the same time, the more they get hurt us, right,
the clothes that they get to another person, the more
this person can make me sad or angry or scared.
And so I often find that when people go through trauma,
it becomes impossibly scary to trust another perposon again, to
(21:44):
trust themselves again, sometimes right, and we build layers upon
layers of protection, which makes total sense. We would try
to protect ourselves, but unfortunately those protections, those defenses, also
limits our range or feeling of connecting to others. And
that's where I find therapy in.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
So, at what point did you found feel your way therapy?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
What was the purpose there?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Why do you I think it was? There were several
lays to that, right. Of course, there was more practical
or kind of layer of expanding my practice and just
being able to help more clients or rather than just
be me by myself. But at the same time I
mentioned that there's such a vast red richness or approaches
or the things we can do now, and so you
(22:30):
can only do so much. Right, you find your focus
and you work within that right. So for me, it
is that combination problem of CBT and EFT at the
moment that I'm building my practice around. But I'm also
sometimes fascinated when I read when I discuss RATI approaches
like EMD, r IFS, Somitic experience and that I mentioned,
And I understand that right many clients would would be
(22:52):
better working with specialists who who knows what they do
in that field. So I had that idea of rebuility
team where where I could do something where I'm good at,
but I also could have colleagues that could offer much
more and could help clients with different guides of issues,
offer more approaches, work with different populations. Right we now
we have such amazing child therapists, right, something I probably
(23:14):
will will never do. But at the same time, it's
such tremendous help that right a person can get with
still at a young age. So there was also that
just expanding on what I can offer and moving towards
what we can offer as a team.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
So you folks working.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yes, we find that there is such a demand now
for in person after probably all those years of being
locked to all the screens. And at the same time,
we see a lot of couples, we see a lot
of children, and I find that those two kind of
populations are particularly re resonating with in person sessions, just
(23:50):
because how naturality is right for children or teas to
interact with a person in a physical space, but also
with a couple with so much going on in the
therapy room and so much to work with. It's my
experience and something that many leads to share that in
person sessions just work.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Better for those all right, okaty, how do people learn
more about We.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Need to look at our website it's Philiotherapy dot Ca,
or look us up at Instagram or Facebook. It's easy
to find us for a name, philio Way Therapy.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Okay, we'll have that linked up here at the show
notes page at the Trauma Therapist podcast dot com. Once
a Way, that's Feel your Way Therapy dot ca a
occati awesome, thank you, I appreciate you, conversation.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Okay, all right, all right, take care
Welcome to the Trauma Therapists podcast. My name is Gamiferson
and I interview incredible people who share the story of
how trauma has shaped their lives. And a big thank
you for sponsoring today's episode goes to my guest and
our sponsors. So five, four, three, two and one, our folks,
(00:24):
welcome back to the podcast. Very excited to have as
my guest today. Arkadi volkov Ar Kati Welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Thank great. I appreciate being here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
You are welcome. Cutti is a registered psychotherapist and the
founder of Fuel Your Way Therapy, private practice in Toronto,
specializing in trauma informed care. After a decade long career
as lawyer, Arkati made a personal and professional transformation, shifting
into psychotherapy to help people heal from anxiety, trauma, and
(00:53):
relationship challenges. At Fuli Waight Therapy, he leads a team
of therapists who work with individuals, couples, children and families
using approaches such as emotional focus Therapy MDR DBT, among others.
His work has rooted in an attachment theory and believe
that healing happens through safe, attuned connection. All Right, Arkati
(01:15):
obviously just a little bit about you before we going
share with the listeners where you're from originally and where
you are currently.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, Originally I am from Russia. I was born in
the very north of Russia in Mormansk. Then I grew
up in Moscow and I moved to Canada six years ago.
So currently I am in Toronto, in Ontario.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Okay, so lawyer. Some might think of those as opposite
ends of a continuum sense. What how did things evolve
for you such that you were like, so, like, I'm
no more lawyer, I need to become a therapy How
does that happen? What happened?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I often wonder about that myself. I guess one was
one of those probably millions of people right end up
with a kind of career with the vacation without really
knowing where they would end up when they chose the past.
First law was read something that appealed to me or
seemed attractive. But once I got my first monsters and
(02:15):
I started working within a couple of years, I just
realized that it was not the best fit for me
in terms of what was interesting for me, what I
wanted to do, and maybe I wasn't the best lawyer
there is, but still I went on to do that
for around ten years.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
But where was that cutting?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah that was back in Moscow. Yeah, that was in Russia.
I worked for a bunch of companies to doing all
sorts of things for a commerce, real estate investments, which
I actually then started to appreciate once I started my
private practice because that knowledge of the business world and
the way things run from that more logistical and business perspective,
that really helped. But at that time that just seemed
something to get away from as fast as they could,
(02:56):
And I got my second masters in consul and psychology
while working, went for an evening program and completed that.
Over several years, I kept working as a lawyer full time,
but I started gradually adding trainings to my education, started
seeing some clients as a part time job, and over
(03:16):
the years that expertise build that experience which then helped
me to transition to therapy full time once I came
to Canada.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
So the field of law, being a lawyer has a
certain cachet here in America, and I'm guessing it's kind
of in Toronto as well. It also has a certain
perception about it, some negative as well. Is it the
same in Russia.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I'd say that little profession, yeah, is more or less
the same all over the world, from at least from
what I know. I've met lawyers from all over Europe,
from the US, from Canada, first as colleagues, then actually
as clients, and I realized that that profession puts a
very similar pressure or its members all over the world.
(04:03):
And yeah, this kind of perception of how the profession works,
I think is very similar. That's another thing that I
started to appreciate about my work experience in the legal
fields because I find, at least I hope that I
can relate to people who work as lawyers and understand
their challenges. There's a lot of burner, there's a lot
of stress, there is a lot of anxiety, and a
(04:24):
lot of isolation because it's seldomly talked about, probably not
the first thing that comes to your mind when you
think of someone working as a lawyer.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So what you said, you practiced for ten years, that's
a long time. What was it What started to happen
where you were like, huh uh, I need to shift?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, very similar to that. Actually, I think I've always
known that I had an interest for just the way
our mind works. And first it was just to study
in philosophy, studying history of thought to be drawn towards
art and the way we can represent ourselves through so
many creative outlets. And I first thought that it would
(05:02):
just read something that interests me, and I can just
keep at a hobby while doing something else. But I
think as I worked, I just came to listen to
myself and understand that, yeah, I can come trually split,
that I come to be someone else as a full
time job and then leave who I really am for
later for some hours in the evenings on the weekends,
and I started to look for somewhere where I could
(05:24):
actually just be myself. I think that's what that was
about for me. And I didn't know anything about therapy
at that point. I didn't know not much about psychology
even and I was looking for something that would resonate,
that would appeal to doing my research. I stumbled upon
a program in council psychology, and the more I read
(05:46):
about that, the more recognized that, yeah, that's actually what
I want to do. And then the more I started,
the more I then practiced, and still with each session
I have, I just realized that, yeah, that's exactly what
probably was meant to do it. Even putting it that
a way, that's not.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
A little realization. I mean, you know, I want to
find something that resonates more with me. That's huge. A
lot of us go years without asking that question, without
hearing that knocking on the door in a sense, because
we have bills to pay, right, people we need to
(06:25):
appeal to or whatever. And my guess is correct me
if I'm wrong here. But sometimes it's even harder to
do that when you're in a field which many would
say really doesn't even honor that type of awareness. Is
that is that fair to.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Say that's true? Yeah, it doesn't honor that kind of
right kind of inclination or awareness. It also creates a
lot of comfort in a way that it is paid well.
And when you already right, it can see a way
for you to be side in life. So to say,
why more they're thinking about some other stuff. Why can't
(07:04):
you just tell yourself, Hey, I'm all right, it's not
as important. That's true.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
So you start to take classes, you start to get
more into it, it starts to resonate more authentically with you.
What do you start to or do you start to
think Okay, maybe I want to go in this direction
and maybe help this population, et cetera. What is starting
to align with you more about in the therapy field.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
That's an amazing question, actually, and I find it right now
at this point in my career where I work with students,
I supervise other therapists, and I find that is a
question that is so important when we start the practice,
and yet often overlooked because there are just so many
approaches laid out in front of you, and right, you're
just invited to peak you an initially you want to
(07:52):
work with or pick an approach or even better, right,
what I see more and more, just pick this and
this and that from every approach, do something eclectic, and
then just go and start practicing. What I appreciated about
the way my professors invited me to think about that
was first to understand how do you actually see your
clients right, how do you actually see the process of therapy?
How do you understand you can be helpful? What are
(08:14):
you hoping to happen in the process of therapy that
would heal your clients? And then building new approach from
those more general high high level ques. Once you get
this idea of who you see in front of yourself
as a human being?
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Right?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Do you see a soul? Do you see a body?
Do you see a mind? Too? Right? Do you see?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
This?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Is that combination of all this? Then you can ask yourself, Okay,
how can I help them? Right? Would that be through
understanding maybe the orationality of some of their thoughts or assumptions? Right?
Or will that be about being more connected to their body,
or maybe looking for some deep meaning and connecting to
their spirituality? And these answers will really define what the
(08:51):
way you will work. But I find that the piece
is as often missing in the training of therapies nowadays.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
It's okay, so how did you answer that question? What?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Right?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
The first one was like who do who? Did you see?
How are you approaching this? What were you imagining that
was going to be in front of you?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, something that I think resonated with me from the
very beginning with the client centered approach, and I think
it really kind of resonates with the way I see
other people, maybe with the way I was shaped by
my own family experiences where I was very aware of
my inner world and that of everyone around me. Right,
where inclined to settle any conflict or not very comfortable
(09:31):
with any kind of tension, to trying to understand everyone
and kind of keep the peace. So who I see
in front of me right when a client walks in
my office or there is a person on the screen
in a virtual space, is just another another world, right,
another universe, right, with completely different sometimes maybe perspective right
(09:54):
the way I've seen themselves, the way I've seen others,
a world that I will never be able to fully understand,
but the I can try to understand at this attempt
at ready to find in the common language, attempt at
trying to understand how they experience is shaped. I think
that that very attempt can create this particular attention that
I think can only happen in therapy where I'm desperately
(10:14):
trying to understand someone I can't fully understand, but my desire,
my interest, my care sparks something in the client.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Having said that, what do you feel or what were
you thinking or feeling or hoping that you could bring
to that relationship.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
That's a good question, I would say sometimes probably the
baseline for me was to bring that understanding, right, to
bring that attention, to bring that focus, that feeling that
this person matters to me, this person is interesting, I'm
curious to know. I want to help. I'm here to
be there for them. And I think that was the
foundation that still remains the foundation of the way I
(10:56):
see the work. But then I learned how to help
the client be more aware of their inner world right,
because sometimes we just do so many things because we're
used to doing them that way, right, we're just doing
them out of habit. Because of the work, and being
aware of them right really start to shift things and
also connecting to those different parts of our worlds, different
(11:18):
parts of ourselves that are often either neglected or shut
down or just do not feel as important as others.
That's how I probably see my work now, being able
to help the clients to embrace themselves more fully, right,
to connect with themselves more fully, to be safe in
doing that, to be safe with any part of the experience,
(11:40):
and also to be safe when related to others.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Now, when you were studying, was it in Russia.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yes, my masters I did in Russia, and then I
did on my additional training here in Canada.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Now I'm curious to what degree the culture of the
Russian culture plays into first firstly reception of therapy in
and of itself, and then secondly how that impacted you.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, that's I mentioned observation actually because I think our
culture really shapes read so many things about us obviously,
and in therapy it is very relevant. I think lately
things have changed a lot, but even when I was
doing my studies it was very different. There's still a
lot of stigma around therapy and counseling in Russia, something
(12:28):
that I sometimes observe here Againada, but to a logic extent,
a logic degree, where a lot of people consider therapy
something kind of a medical nature, something that only person
that has kind of a serious disorder might need, or
assigned that right a person there's something wrong with them,
or they can't be part of a society, or a
(12:49):
sign of weakness. Read so many obstacles that kind of
get in the way of getting people get in help.
And at the same time, and I think something that
I really liked there was that psychological school of thoughts
where that academic psychology with a very high emphasis on
a theoretical background, on deep foundations and understand into whatever
(13:11):
you do, where a lot of psychological and counseling work
stayed in that abstract theoretical field. Probably even my generation
of students that started after me, we tried to bridge
that gap, probably between that theoretical foundation that was there,
but also putting things in practice and seeing how they work,
and also feeding into experiences of specialists from other countries,
(13:35):
from other ends of the world. But there was so
much sharing going on.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
In those years. So at what point did you move
to Canada?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Was twenty nineteen six years ago?
Speaker 1 (13:46):
And how is it different for you? How did you
perceive the difference in how therapy is perceived?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
So many things actually jumped to my mind. Well, well, first,
the whole field of counseling of therapy isn't regulated battle
in Russia, any person with a diploma in psychology can
call themselves well that way they want to actually write
a therapist, a counselor a psychologist to well, except for
a psychiatrist, which is still a medical profession there. So
coming to Canada and understanding how regulated things are here
(14:17):
and how this whole system works and where is my
kind of place in that system was a bit of
a challenge, but I grew to really appreciate it and
the comfort that gives a client who know who they're
dealing with and what kind of support they get, although
sometimes it's pretty complicated for them as well. But then
also being able to work with such a vas to
(14:37):
diversity of clients coming from completely different cultural backgrounds, speaking
different languages, bring in different life experiences. It was something
I was not accustomed to, and probably read those clients
I saw educated me a lot about just the diverse
human nature.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
We just remind everyone. I'm speaking with a pretty volkov
of feel your way therapy so interesting. I mean, you
have such an interesting background. I'm curious, was there ever
any It's not just coming from the field of law,
but coming from the culture of Russia, where there's a
(15:13):
certain perception of therapy. Was there ever the question of
what the hell am I doing?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah? Yes, that's a very good point. Yes, I often
ask myself that, and actually, looking back, I often wonder
how I kept going and trust in myself. Probably I
think that was a matter of just trusting myself basically
because there were a lot of things were not working
(15:42):
out right, or I wasn't sure what to expect to
at the next area, or how this will unfold. All
at the same time, knowing that I let go of
a perfectly clear or a career. So yeah, there were
a lot of doubts, a lot of anxiety still are
sometimes as right as I grow this as a business now.
But I think what really helps is that feeling that's
(16:04):
thankfully right. I'm very grateful for that that I got
some time back knowing what I really like doing, where
I really feel myself and not letting go of that,
to read reminding myself of that, and to sometimes just
trusting that it is worth it.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
So fill your waight. Therapy, trauma informed care. Why that
that's to me? Trauma is something that is particularly I
think can be very challenging for a lot of us
for a lot of different reasons. What drew you to
that and continues to draw you to that?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So the way my focus is actually shifted right a
lot over the years. So as I was first figuring
out what interests me, what appeals to me, who I
work well with, and so at first I was very
interested in working with clients present with anxiety in its
many forms, probably because I personally can relate to that
(17:04):
and it was part of personal exploration as well, but
that the more I worked, the more I saw that
it's not almost always. It's not just anxiety, it's not
just depression, it's not just issues with regulating our emotions.
So often there is something behind that. And the more
I talk to my clients, the ware I the more
I learned, the more I talked to my supervisors, the
(17:26):
more I understood that share element is very often trauma
in its many forms, and I become fascinated with the
way our life experience is either prolonged to or read
those intense similar situations can really shape our whole being,
our sense of self, our view of others, so the
(17:47):
way we feel in our bodies to The more I
thought about that, the more understand that, Yeah, that's where
I can actually do probably the most helpful. I can
still relate to clients in terms of how their symptoms
feel in the nowadays. Anxiety, this can be a low mood,
this can be regulation, this can be issues in relationships.
(18:09):
But inviting them to reflect on how their world their
experience was shaped and to identify those traumatic symptoms and
traumatic occurrencies. So that really shifted my practice.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
I think. So you start seeing clients at some point,
at some point someone comes in who's experienced some heavy
duty trauma. What was that like for you to deal
with that? Because it's one thing to want to work
with people who've experienced that. It's one thing to you know,
read all the books and go to the workshops and
(18:43):
have all that information and knowledge. It's another thing when
you've got someone in front of you who's had an experience.
What was that like for you? How did you manage it?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
It was very scary, I would say, very scary, right
to face an experience of another person that is so
sometimes out of kind of my scope, right out of
what I'm familiar working with, and to find myself questioning
everything I do because I understand how much of that
pressure is already on the client and easy it is
(19:15):
to hurt them right or to be insensible to whatso
they're going through. And I think there were two major
shifts which really helped me both drownd myself and be
more helpful to the client. Once, when I discovered semitic
based approaches and learned about to read the role that
our body plays in process and trauma and also in
(19:38):
healing from trauma, pe to living sematic experience and was
really kind of groundbreaking for me in that way. And
then discovering emotionally focused therapy and attachment theory and understanding
how trauma can impact our attachment and what role can
attachment play in healing. That probably was the most important
(19:59):
thing that happened in my practice in terms of giving
me a clear map that that helps ready to find
where the client is, that to help them make sense
of the experience, and also to understand how we can
proceed from there.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
So talk a little bit about attachment theory and what
drew you to that and how you're bringing that into
your work.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
I think something that always was on far front of
my thoughts of my reflection about therapy was how terrifying,
how awful it is to be alone. And I was
always questioning this idea, read this or magical idea of
being a lone person alone wolf and read that loneliness
and with all that flair that often comes in popular culture.
(20:41):
With knowing how actually terrifying it is to be really alone,
to feel truly alone, and how different we can feel
in the presence of another person, and knowing that this
person cares right feeling that warmth this is so hard
to put your finger on. But at the same time,
probably even what I say, of that, right, probably you
(21:01):
think of a couple of instances where you felt like
that with other people and how healing that can be.
So what I find what often happens when we survived,
is that our experience of connecting to others is really hurt,
and it becomes so very dangerous or very unsafe to
allow ourselves to connect to others. Because when I speak
about connection, when I speak about relationships, it's always twofold.
(21:22):
The clothes that we get to another person, the more
they can help us, the better they can make us feel.
But at the same time, the more they get hurt us, right,
the clothes that they get to another person, the more
this person can make me sad or angry or scared.
And so I often find that when people go through trauma,
it becomes impossibly scary to trust another perposon again, to
(21:44):
trust themselves again, sometimes right, and we build layers upon
layers of protection, which makes total sense. We would try
to protect ourselves, but unfortunately those protections, those defenses, also
limits our range or feeling of connecting to others. And
that's where I find therapy in.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
So, at what point did you found feel your way therapy?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
What was it?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
What was the purpose there?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Why do you I think it was? There were several
lays to that, right. Of course, there was more practical
or kind of layer of expanding my practice and just
being able to help more clients or rather than just
be me by myself. But at the same time I
mentioned that there's such a vast red richness or approaches
or the things we can do now, and so you
(22:30):
can only do so much. Right, you find your focus
and you work within that right. So for me, it
is that combination problem of CBT and EFT at the
moment that I'm building my practice around. But I'm also
sometimes fascinated when I read when I discuss RATI approaches
like EMD, r IFS, Somitic experience and that I mentioned,
And I understand that right many clients would would be
(22:52):
better working with specialists who who knows what they do
in that field. So I had that idea of rebuility
team where where I could do something where I'm good at,
but I also could have colleagues that could offer much
more and could help clients with different guides of issues,
offer more approaches, work with different populations. Right we now
we have such amazing child therapists, right, something I probably
(23:14):
will will never do. But at the same time, it's
such tremendous help that right a person can get with
still at a young age. So there was also that
just expanding on what I can offer and moving towards
what we can offer as a team.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
So you folks working.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Yes, we find that there is such a demand now
for in person after probably all those years of being
locked to all the screens. And at the same time,
we see a lot of couples, we see a lot
of children, and I find that those two kind of
populations are particularly re resonating with in person sessions, just
(23:50):
because how naturality is right for children or teas to
interact with a person in a physical space, but also
with a couple with so much going on in the
therapy room and so much to work with. It's my
experience and something that many leads to share that in
person sessions just work.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Better for those all right, okaty, how do people learn
more about We.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Need to look at our website it's Philiotherapy dot Ca,
or look us up at Instagram or Facebook. It's easy
to find us for a name, philio Way Therapy.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Okay, we'll have that linked up here at the show
notes page at the Trauma Therapist podcast dot com. Once
a Way, that's Feel your Way Therapy dot ca a
occati awesome, thank you, I appreciate you, conversation.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Okay, all right, all right, take care
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