Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Trauma Therapist Podcast. My name is Gan macpherson.
I interview incredible people who dedicated their lives to helping
those who have been impacted by trauma. Here we go.
All right, so five four, three, two and one, our folks,
welcome back to the podcast. Very excited to have as
my guest today, Diana Feldman.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Diana, welcome, thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Diana is a creative our therapist and board certified drama
therapist with over thirty years of experience working with children
and teens. Her evidence based drama therapy has been utilized
in schools and hospitals, reaching thousands of youth, and she's
just finished her book titled Stuck in a Role Releasing
Trauma and Teens through the enact method of Trauma Therapy.
(00:48):
All right, Dana, just a little bit about you. We'll
dive more into that, but before we get going, share
with our listeners where you are from originally and where
you are currently.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Okay, Originally I'm from New York. I'm currently living in
New York. I just happened to be upstate New York
right now, where it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Awesome, awesome, all right, okay, So let's start out here.
We're going to get to the book, and just to
put out there the book is being published when.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
It's actually ready for pre order now, okay, and it
comes out April twenty ninth, so may first, okay. But
you can get it on Amazon and Rutledge and you
know all the online places.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Now is a pre order, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Get How did you get into this field in the first.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Place, you know, in a lot of different ways, very organic.
I started out as an actress wanting to be an
actress and a singer, which I was for many years
in the city. And then I got into a really
(02:03):
serious life threatening car accident that left me in the
hospital for months and in a while, oh my god,
I had to learn to walk again, and so I experienced,
you know, a lot of physical and emotional trauma.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
How old were you at that time?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
And I was twenty one.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
I had just graduated and was the lead in the
show and had this whole theater life ahead of me.
And I mean for another podcast because it's too long
to go into, but I actually had a near death
experience when I was in the hospital and I realized,
wait a minute, there's a reason that I'm here. I
(02:41):
am more than this body, in this mind, and I've
got to do something, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
And so it took me a year really to learn
to walk again.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Yeah, it was pretty serious. It was very serious.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
And what happened was I called on all my resources
as an artist and a singer and an actor, that.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I use these things to heal. You know.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
I didn't know at the time anything about the creative
arts therapies. And a friend of a friend was a
movement therapist and she came in and worked with me
all the time. And my drama therapy professor who now
is a good friend of mine, and he endorsed the book.
He worked with me from my on the phone, using
(03:35):
writing and drama to write the story in a metaphor
of what happened. And I worked with dancers. I mean,
I it was what I related to.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Because I just.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
That's who I am. And to me, the arts are
not just about performing. I mean, I really now, they're
about healing.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
For me. Also, performing is fun.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
But okay, let me interject if I may so. At
twenty one, you were.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
An actress.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
You're about to begin this this theater career, theatrical career.
You get into this life threatening accident, you're in the hospital,
and it was during that time that you began to
rely on or even fall back on, what you've been
studying as an actress.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Drama therapy.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
Okay, there wasn't drama therapy at the time. There wasn't
any field. I just knew, well, actually, if you must know,
I had like an epiphany moment, which.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Well, yes, we need to hear that. This is what
this is about, Diana. We need to hear this.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
It's not if I must know you're at the time
of this, but yes, this is what it is about.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
In the car, they had to cut me out of
the car, and I thought I was paralyzed. My body
went into shock and I could not feel feel anything,
and I thought, that's it.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I'm screwed. Like everything that I want to do, it's over.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
In my mind, I'm thinking I'm paralyzed, I'll be in
a wheelchair, I'll be a quadriplegic.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
And then this epiphany came to me.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I write about this in the introduction of the book,
that oh my god, I can sing. I'm not going
to be confined because if I sing, I can express
myself and I'll be free. So somehow in my mind
I related to singing as complete freedom, like spiritual expression
(05:42):
and freedom. And then I blacked out and that was that.
And then I ended up, you know, that was the
and I wasn't paralyzed.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I found out.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
My body went into shock and my legs were shattered,
my arm was shattered.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
My I had a concussion. I was on a respirator.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Oh my god, hold on a second, okay, if you
if you're able to, just where was this accident?
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
I went to Stonybrook College out way out on Long Island,
and I was in the theater department.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
We just did this big.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Play and I was hired for the summer stock and
so we went to this party, you know, graduation party,
and on the way back, we were hit by a
drunk driver and you know, I was in the backseat.
I was with like a team of actors, you know, yeah, yeah,
we're ready to go, and I'm I was trapped in
(06:37):
the car. Everybody else got out, Oh god, and I
was like, oh my god, you know, like where is everybody?
And and and then you know, my body just went
completely numb. And I asked the guy who was like
my savior, my prince. He cut me out of the
top of the car and I said to him, am
(06:58):
I paralyzed And he said, you are not paralyzed. You
are screaming too loud to be paralyzed.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
You were not. You were in shock, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
And then I passed out and they took me to
the hospital and there I was for three months in
a body cast and traction, and oh yeah, it was
quite something. And if I didn't have my guitar, I
think I don't know what I would have done. And
if the guy in the next room didn't hear me
singing and would like wheel in and we would sing together,
(07:31):
you know, I don't know what I would have done.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So it just was so.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Clear to me that, you know, this spirit is not
just the body, because it was frozen. And that's how
I got into trauma, because my body stayed frozen. You know,
we all talk about freeze as a major trump.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I'm a symptom.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
I didn't know anything about trauma, you know, I was
like a kid, but I I you know, going from
not feeling to feeling but still not emotionally feeling much.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Too.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
You know, it's in a body cast so that makes
you like this. So I remember I got out of
that cast after a couple of months, and I still
felt like this for a year.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I just was stuck. Literally.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
So when these trauma people a Silvander, all of them,
Peter Levine, they all talk about being stuck, emotionally stuck.
I was physically stuck, which became emotionally stuck. And that's
when I was like, wait a minute, something big is
(08:50):
going on here. And I took me a year to
heal with all these beautiful drawing and art therapists. I
just knew it. I knew I needed to do that.
And then I had to learn to walk again because
nobody knew if I was going to walk again.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
So that, yeah, it was. It was major.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
But I was really stoic, and in some ways I
was too stoic. As I said, I kind of shut
myself off from feeling. I was I in my book,
I write about a character. I write about these characters
that are created as defenses against feeling, and I was
like the clown. Everybody kept saying, why are you cracking jokes?
(09:32):
You're like almost dead, you know, Like what's so funny?
And I just like found humor and it was my resilience.
But I also it was my way of not dealing,
you know, with horror. It was horror and terror.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
And it took years and years and years.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Of working through my own trauma with traditional talk therapy
with a lot of so nomadic body work, which became
what I loved, and then used it in my own
method which I developed, which was using theater.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
And and.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
I don't know that was that was my beginning, my
humble beginnings.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Oh my god, I thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Not so it's it's beyond uh tragic, and I'm so
sorry you had to experience that.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I really appreciate you sharing that.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
So you had parents, Do you have a family, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yeah, yeah, No, they were great.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
They were both therapists, you know, so they were like
a little annoyingly analoged, but but they were My family
was extremely supportive, thank god, you know. And then I, uh,
what did I do? I was like, I need another
path and I still love acting, and there wasn't anything.
(11:04):
I didn't know if there wasn't creative arts therapy or
drama therapy or anything. So I became what's still called
a teaching artist. Have you heard of that?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Teaching I don't think so. But hold on a second.
So why what happened to being an actress and a singer?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Well, I still did.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
I still auditioned a lot in the city so I
could walk again. I was like in good shape because
I had been doing tons of body work and everything.
So I didn't want to give that up. So I
still like I would audition, you know, but it's a
hard path in New York City. You go in a
million auditions, you know, and you're hyped up on coffee
twenty four hours. And then I was singing at the
(11:45):
folk clubs because I'm a songwriter also, and I was
doing all that and I loved it, but it wasn't
quite enough for me. It didn't it just something was missing,
And so I don't really know exactly what happened. I
would take these little gigs of using my theater skills
(12:06):
and my singing to work in schools to teach the art,
to teach the art of theater and singing. It's called
teaching artists. And there was a lot of that in
New York City, you know, Lincoln Center Institute and the
Opera had all these artists come in.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
It's it's an amazing.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
This is why I work a lot with teaching artists,
and I'll tell you about that. But so I was
in the classrooms, and this was New York City schools,
and for whatever universal reasons, you know, I was put
in very low income schools with kids with very serious
(12:48):
behavior problems, and I'm you know, my partners and everybody
were like, wait a minute, like they're not listening, they're
not interested right now in Shakespeare, you know what, Like.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
How can we reach them?
Speaker 4 (13:04):
And that's when this idea of this method came up
in my mind. I was like, I am that's it.
I got to get through to these kids. I don't care,
you know. And I started experimenting and I put a
team of six actors together and we would say, okay,
(13:25):
like we'll do theater games with them, right because they
like that, that's fun, that'll engage them.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Kind of worked, you know.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Now it's turned into a whole method of self regulation
theater games, which I'll talk about. But I was like, well,
what if we did scenes about what they were interested
in their lives?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
You know, like what about that?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
What are they going to be interested in? Who the
hell am I to go in there? Think I'm going
to teach, you know, real right, Well, hold.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
On a second.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
This is so amazing. I'm getting getting me going here.
It's so awesome. I'm from New York.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
By the way.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Oh are you in the city now?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
No, no, no, no, I've moved away from some time. But
I love it, and I just love I can.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Imagine you getting in there and and and feeling that
energy and saying to yourself, how that what makes.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Me think I could do this? So what happened? Would
you do?
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I mean, I don't remember the exact moment. Now I'm
getting the chills. I feel like I could cry for
a second. Sorry, but I just I remember the moment
I looked at well, I do remember the moment.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
I looked at this kid and he was impossible.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
He was yelling, running around the classroom, and I said, wait, wait,
that's not him.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
He's more than that.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
And I know that because of my experience, I was
more than my body. This was I maybe related to
the near death experience. I don't know, but it's almost
like I saw through him and I felt like this
he's acting, he's putting on a role. Why is he
(15:17):
doing that? Why is he doing that? And I started
to for whatever reason, seeing the kids as playing roles
you know that are really stuck. The book is called
stuck in a role like stuck in this persona to
protect themselves. And the tragedy for me was that the
(15:41):
more I explored this, and I'll tell you more about
how we then started playing these roles. And if you
don't understand, feel free stop me at any time. But
what we did as the actors, we were like, all right,
let's find out what a typical situation is peer pressure.
We see it in the classroom, we see bullying. Okay,
(16:02):
what if we played the roles. What if we took
on their body language and their personas but in a
way that they didn't feel that we were mocking them,
because that's the worst when they feel you're making fun
of them. So being in New York, there were just
amazing actors that I work with.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I mean it's because of them.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
This took off really a phenomenal how they just tuned
in and they would embody these like say the bully.
One of our big scenes was always, you know, a
bully picking on a kid, or our most popular one
was the class clown getting into a fight.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
With the teacher.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Okay, So I'll give you that example as a scene.
So I'd play the teacher trying to teach the class,
and he would come in late with headphones and laughing
and you know, but very funny. So the characters of
very likable, and suddenly the kids were completely one engaged.
(17:06):
They went from running around screaming, throwing to like what
you know, And and we found that the bigger the
characters we played, you know, we tried to meet what
we would call it affect level now, right, but we
tried to meet their energy. So if they were really
(17:28):
loud and big, we were bigger. If they were really
small and withdrawn, you know, we were sure.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
You were reading the room.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
We were reading the room.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
And then the next thing, you know, like the teachers
were like, how did you do that? And how did
you get through to these kids? And then I'll just
tell you that I designed a company. I created a
nonprofit called Enact that ended up going from a group
(18:01):
of six, right, we would experiment, we would workshop with
these different roles to what ended up being sixty teaching artist, actors,
drama therapist, social workers.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
We worked with two.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Hundred and fifty thousand kids who were known as the
most unreachable kids.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
In the schools.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
And we got major funding because nobody could could reach them,
you know, And we got a five year Ford Foundation
grant and to study it to see is this really working?
What five years they studied it and they said it's
now it's evidence based because so okay, hang on.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Here, So sorry.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
So.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
What I want to ask you? What was it? Was? It?
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Was it the fact that you weren't, you know, teaching them,
You weren't shoving stuff down their throat, but like you said,
you were meeting them, meeting their affect.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
We were tuning with them, a tuning with them, which
you know is the big you know, therapeutic way to
reach your clients is you are a tuning with them. Now,
we were tuning with them, but through acting, and we
would play these things, so we would do this scene.
It would always blow up and we'd say to them,
(19:27):
because we can't ever assume we're tuned with someone, we'd say.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Is this right? Does this look familiar? Am I playing
this character right? What is it with this character?
Speaker 4 (19:39):
And they would get into a discussion with us, and
many times we'd replay the character. Eventually, eventually I mean,
I will say it took many years to develop this method.
What we did, Oh, I'll just tell you the fast,
easy version is they go, yeah, like this, and we'd
(20:00):
get into a conversation, why are kids like that? Why
is he talking to the teacher like that? How do
you think he's feeling? Do kids in the school ever
feel that way? Have you ever seen kids? What does
he look like? And they go a clown? We'd go,
he's looking like a clown? Do you see kids looking
like that?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
What do you think that's about? Always non judgmental. We're
talking about their defenses, right, and these kids are so
defended because they have trauma that it was like really
like magic because we play, we mirrored their defenses. We
(20:42):
were the really tough, angry, out of control, We were
the you know, and we'd say, do you.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Know anybody ever felt that? Have you ever felt that way?
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Their hands would go up, Yeah, I feel that way
all the time when the teacher does this, and the
teacher does that.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
And of course what do you think?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
You know?
Speaker 4 (21:00):
And they would start to talk about their feelings the
very thing they've been avoiding.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Now on a seconds, So during this time, were you
a therapist.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Oh, I went back to school, okay, to get my masters.
There wasn't drama therapy yet, so I got my masters
in what was called educational theater. However, there was a
professor who I mentioned earlier, doctor Robert Landy, who just
started a drama therapy class, and I was very.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Drawn to that.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
He ended up designing the NYU Drama Therapy program, which
is one of the biggest programs in the country. But
it wasn't there yet. And when I graduated, I remember,
I said, okay, I took a class, you know, and
now what and they were like, you have to start
your own thing. There isn't anything like this. And that's
when I started it. And and then I became I mean,
(22:02):
I sort of was grandfathered into because I really was
one of the first drama therapists. And so you know,
as we developed the method, the drama therapy field was
growing and I was part of it, and I did
a lot of training in it, et cetera.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
All right, Diana, look, I just want to be aware
of the time here. I realized we're going to have
to We're not done yet. But I just want to
say that you are amazing. This story is amazing. I'm
going to have to have you back to open this up.
But let's cut to the book.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
When did you.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Say to yourself, Okay, I'm going to write this book.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I need to write this book.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
When Enact closed during COVID, Okay, that was it.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
I was like, Uh, this cannot this cannot stop. And
it took me two years, and I feel like I
want other people to do this method. You know, I
always train teachers and therapists and parents, but I didn't
(23:09):
have a book, you know.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
So what this book does is the first part.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Of the book explains trauma symptoms and what they look
like in the body. And you know, people like Peter
Levine and Pat Ogden talk about postures and so it
gets you. First we talk about trauma symptoms, attachment, attunement,
(23:35):
So if you don't know that stuff, you're going to
learn it in the beginning. And then I say, how
does an act use these use these therapeutic concepts.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
In a healing medium? And then this is how?
Speaker 4 (23:51):
And then I teach the methods step by step, and
then I have very very touching, I feel case histories
of the kids that I remember where they were, you know,
major breakthroughs so.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Is this enact method solely for kids? Quote unquote No,
I mean, okay, it's.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
For It's very effective for kids. It's very effective. I
run workshops in the city. I have a private practice
now as well for developmental trauma for adults who have
had childhood trauma. These workshops are very good. They're really
(24:32):
meant for people that have trauma and are so highly defended.
As you know, it's they'll say I can't feel anything,
or nothing bothers me, or you know, it's not that bad.
I mean, then that's the character we play.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Oh it's not that bad, you know.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
So how does this differ from other, you know, drama
therapy modalities, of which there are a.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
Couple There are a couple And people always ask me
that too, and like, what's the difference between psychodrama. Yeah, yeah,
I think that. First of all, we use actors. Okay,
best case scenario is if you can, if there's a
theater company in your neighborhood and you can get actors
trained in this and then team it with a therapist,
(25:20):
is the best okay.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
And psychodrama uses the participants in the workshop.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
Yes, okay, we also use the participants completely.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
It's it's interactive, they come up.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
What I didn't tell you is at the end we
have the participants replay the scene and bring it to
a closure after we've taught them the tools of self
regulation and communication skills some would say social emotional skills.
And when they get up to replay, that's when they
(25:51):
have a cathartic moment, usually because they're getting you know, trauma.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
You're voiceless.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
There's no words for it, and now here your the words,
so you know it's made. The book is mostly it's
mostly for teens because we found that it was those
are the kids that are most highly defended and teens
with trauma. But absolutely, you know, and people can use it.
(26:17):
You know, all teachers are actors, and all therapists are actors.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
And if you can bring in an actor, even better.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
And who would you say the book is for.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
It's four therapists, therapists who do group work.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
It's the best because they can take home really user
friendly theater games that are a whole thing I have
on emotion regulation.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
And affect, so they get a toolbox there.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Many of them know role play, but this is a
very particular kind, very mindful about re traumatizing.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
So I would say.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
Therapists, teachers, teaching artists of course, you know, actors even
musicians that go into these schools, you know, And I'd
say these schools often have funding in the low income areas,
except probably getting cut right now, I won't go there.
But you know, you can write your own grants to
(27:19):
do this as well, and then parents can take some
of this and use it even with their own kids.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
It's great for foster parents.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
It's the best because they really they'll learn about attachment
and they'll learn why their kid is having trouble. And
this whole method is built on attachment and attonment. So
it's very good for foster parents. Well.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
So powerful, I mean just the you know image, the
thought of you being with those kids.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
And I think a lot of us can relate to,
you know, try to get to them, right like trying
to force that relationship or to men, and of course
we all know you can't, but but to have have
discovered how to do that and to do that is
so powerful. All right, Look, like I said, love to
(28:17):
have you back, love talking to you. How do people
get in touch with you? Get the book? Learn more
about the book et cetera.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
Okay, my website, uh drama www dot Drama Soul, d
r A m A s O L dot com. Everything's
on there, okay, And you'll see there's a landing page
that has the book. You can get it though it's
called Stuck in a Roll. You can just say that
(28:50):
Releasing Trauma and Teens. But it's on Amazon now, Rutledge, Bornes,
and Nobles, all those websites are there. And we're having
a book launch event in the city. And if somebody
is like, we're going to demonstrate the work, if they
really want to come, they should contact me and we'll
(29:11):
see if we can get them in it. It's not
you know, it's by invite only, so but you know,
if you really want to see. Oh and I have
a workshop with someone you just interviewed, Kathy Maltucci I
never say.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Her name, right, Kathy Malchiotti.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Macchiatti with her in June, June thirty. We'll see all
that on the website.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Awesome, all right, Well, we'll have all this linked up
here at the show notes page at the Trauma Therapists
Podcast dot com. Dana, amazing, so freaking inspiring. Thank you
so much for being here.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Thank you so much for asking such really good questions.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
I didn't know. I say everything, but you got it.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
That's my job, all right, take care bye. The two met,
and then off on the Sable fol