Episode 122 - Building Unshakeable Faith When Relationships Fail

Send us a text

Trust is perhaps life's most precious and precarious commodity. When we place our confidence in human relationships alone, we set ourselves up for inevitable disappointment. Not because people are inherently bad, but because we all struggle with what tradition calls the "evil inclination" - that pull toward self-interest that can sabotage even our most cherished connections.

The Trust Factor tackles this universal challenge head-on, exploring how we navigate the dual reality of needing human connections while recognizing their fragility. Every relationship we form in this world carries an expiration date - whether through betrayal, distance, or ultimately, death. This sobering truth leads many to a lifetime of mourning when significant relationships end, desperately seeking to fill the void left behind.

But there exists another relationship - constant, unconditional, and eternal - that transcends human limitations. By opening ourselves to authentic conversation with the Divine, we discover a foundation that never wavers. As the ancient wisdom teaches: "Open up for me an opening the size of a pinhole, and I will open up for you an opening the size of a stadium." This disproportionate exchange reveals the extraordinary potential of taking even small steps toward trust.

The podcast also examines our responsibilities to those around us - not merely meeting their basic needs but generously exceeding them. This represents a profound spiritual test, particularly around finances. When we extend beyond our comfort zone in providing for family and community, we often discover that our own needs continue to be met abundantly. More importantly, we create an atmosphere of security that prevents the financial conflicts that tear apart countless families.

Ready to transform your approach to relationships, faith, and generosity? Listen now, and discover how to build unshakeable trust in an uncertain world. Subscribe and share your own trust journey with us!

Support the show

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
TGIF.
My friends, thank God it'sFriday and this is the trust
factor, the podcast thatguarantees your success.
We are into a discussion, deepinto a discussion about
relationships, the ones that werely on now, if we're somebody
who has trust and faith in God,how do we conduct ourselves in
these relationships?

(00:20):
Because we know that theserelationships some of them are
fickle.
We know that theserelationships some of them are
fickle.
We know some of these arefickle.
Humanity is fickle.
We know that people are corruptbecause they have an evil
inclination and oftentimes thatgets in the way of your
relationships.
Relationships fall apart all thetime because people have an
evil inclination for money andfor relations, and those get in

(00:43):
the way of personalrelationships, no matter how old
or how strong thoserelationships are.
The best relationships in theworld have been tested and have
fallen apart because of thefrailty of humanity.
So be careful, be aware, myfriends.
I'm not telling you not toinvest in your friendships and
your relationships.
On the contrary, you need toinvest in them.

(01:04):
We are social creatures, but donot be surprised when the stuff
hits the fan.
And, no, don't hold people incontempt.
Understand that they have anevil inclination and that most
people don't have the necessarytools or the wisdom or the
headspace to understand thatthey have an evil inclination

(01:26):
and to overcome it.
It is a very, very big task toovercome our evil inclination,
but, having said that, the toolsare always at our disposal to
be able to conquer our evilinclination, but most people
don't look for them.
You guys are learning them andyou're gaining them by listening
to this podcast, but there areso many people who lack this

(01:51):
information, and what I'm givingyou is exactly the tools that
you need in order to overcomethose evil inclinations and to
maintain good, solidrelationships where you can rely
on each other and it is notconditional upon what you've
done or what they've done.
That's one dimension of whatwe've talked about.
The other dimension is thereare relationships that are
eventually going to come to anend, because that's the way life

(02:11):
works.
We are not here permanently.
This is a temporary existence.
Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.
You could be here for a year,you could be here for 20, 50,
100, 120 years, but eventuallyyou've got to punch your time
card and you've got to go up andgive an accounting.
My friends, that's the world ofeternity.
This is a temporary world.

(02:32):
Therefore, by definitions, yourrelationships, no matter how
wonderful they are, and nomatter if they are older or
younger, it makes no difference.
We do not know when our time isup, and so those relationships
will eventually come to an end,and you will find yourself
wondering who do I lean on now?
How do I fill that void thathas been left by that individual

(02:53):
who had such a big impact on mylife?
And oftentimes people can'tfind them and they spend the
rest of their natural lives in astate of mourning, god forbid.
How do we defeat that?
We remember that there is a Godin this world who loves us, who
has all of the things thateverybody, in any one of our
relationships, brings to thetable, and more, and he wants to

(03:17):
bring those things to the table, and he is always at our side,
24 hours a day, seven days aweek.
He loves you infinitely and hehas what to give you.
And the best part is that youcan have an open relationship
where you are into conversationsusing your own words, your own
thoughts, your mind, your heart,having a conversation, a real,

(03:40):
heartfelt conversation, withyour creator, and you will come
out of those conversationsfeeling just as built up, just
as confident as you would in anyof those relationships that
have fallen apart.
You don't believe me.
Just try it.
Just try it.
I guarantee you your life isgoing to change.
If you haven't done it yet, ifyou know what hit bodhiduta is,

(04:02):
if you know what this concept is, having of having a
conversation of of requests andgratitude and giving thanks to
your creator and seeing his handin your life, then you know
exactly what I'm talking about.
But if you've never done thisbefore, or if you've done it but
you haven't done it on a reallybig level and by big level I
mean doing it when it comes to acircumstance that is critical,

(04:23):
that is very important, that hasreal, serious consequences,
where you reach out to God andyou have that conversation and
then you see him come throughfriends.
You want to talk about buildingtrust.
That's it, that's the recipe.
You have to make that effort.
Remember we've said the verseis Open up for me an opening the

(04:45):
size of a pinhole, a tinylittle pinhole, and I will open
up for you an opening the sizeof a stadium.
You imagine an auditoriumcompared to that of a pinhole.
It is not even comparable.
These two do not even contrast.
All he wants you to do is takea small step in his direction

(05:09):
and then watch and be amazed.
Let's continue.
We shift gears.
What are we talking about now?
Those who have friends, thosewho have wives, those who have
community members and children?
He says, if the one with trustin God has a wife and relatives
and friends and enemies, heshould rely on God to be spared
from becoming overly burdened bythem.

(05:29):
While relying on God, theperson must do his hishtadlut.
He has to make his effort.
What does that mean?
He should do his best todischarge his obligations
towards him, his wife, hischildren, his relatives, and
also to fulfill their additionaldesires and to be sincere with
them.
What does it mean by additionaldesires?
It means we all know that wehave basic needs and necessities

(05:52):
.
We all know that we need foodand water and clothing and
shelter.
We need all these basic thingsjust in order to survive in this
life, and there's a lot ofpeople in this world who
foolishly run around makingmoney and supporting a family
and think that all they need todo is supply them with their
basic necessities just to getthem through this life.
Nothing could be further fromthe truth.
What he's saying over here, myfriends, is that we have an

(06:14):
obligation to give more than weare comfortable with.
We have an obligation to givemore than they need in order to
continue to provide for themproperly.
That's what he's saying.
We have an obligation toover-provide for these people,
especially if you have means.
But even if you don't havemeans, there are certainly

(06:34):
specific times in the Torahwhere it says, especially around
things like holidays, where wehave to go out of our way on
Shabbats to be able to spendmore than we can afford, with
complete trust and faith thatGod is going to provide.
Now you want to talk about achallenge.
My friends, this is a very,very common one, even, and maybe
even especially amongst thewealthy, those who are working

(06:58):
hard, whether it's the husbandor the wife.
They're out and they'reproducing and they're successful
, but they're working hard.
It's not coming easy.
They are sacrificing and at thesame time they're making, so
they're seeing the results, orthe siblings, or whatever.
And now I have to part withthis hard-earned money of mine,

(07:24):
and sometimes even worse.
It's not hard-earned, it's comeeasily, it's come by way of
inheritance or by settlement orwhatever it is, and now they're
still hanging on to it for dearlife.
These people haven't hadanything and suddenly they're
engulfed in material wealth andthey hoard.
They hoard because they'reterrified of supporting anybody,

(07:45):
even their own children.
It's unbelievable.
We said before what money hasthe ability to do to people.
It takes the best people in theworld, with the clearest
outlook and the biggest heartsand the greatest minds, and it
reduces them to an individualthat you would not recognize or
want to associate with.

(08:05):
Why?
Because you asked them for adollar.
It's unfortunate.
Here we're talking about aspouse who has to support their
spouse and their children.
Their responsibilities.
They chose to get married.
They chose to have children.
They have an obligation tothose children.
The obligation he's saying overhere is even greater, much
greater than their basicnecessities.
You have to over-provide forthem.

(08:26):
You have to make sure that theybenefit equally to you and, in
fact, even more than you,because you're always trying to
be responsible.
You know how much you make, youknow how much you spend, you're
trying to live within your means, which most of us don't anyways
but you're always challenged tosay can I afford to do this or

(08:49):
that?
I want to make my spouse happy,I want to give my children, I
want to see them thrive andhappy and enjoy the fruits of my
labor, but at what cost?
And am I going to be able toreplace that?
Am I still?
You've passed that test, justlike every other one of these

(09:10):
tests.
They remain a test until youpass it.
How do you pass this test?
By spending more than you'recomfortable with, by getting out
of your comfort zone.
I'm not talking about givingeverything away Again, there's
reason but you can extendyourself beyond your comfort
zone, even though you know itwill put you outside of your

(09:31):
balance sheet.
But do it anyways.
Once, twice, five times, andwatch the results and see that
you've lacked nothing, and seethat nobody has missed a meal
and that you continue to earnand you continue to spend, and
you will see that you can keepover providing for these people
and not have a negative impactin your life.
In fact, the impact will beexponentially more positive.

(09:54):
Why?
Because you're going tocontinue to earn.
He's going to continue to giveyou.
But you've also made thosepeople around you calm and at
ease when it comes to money.
There is so much strife, thereis so much static and conflict
that exists when it comes tomoney within families that many
times it's what tears apartperfectly good families,

(10:18):
perfectly loving families, it'sonly money.
God is not limited in how muchof it he has and he can give you
, my friends, when you'respending it in the right place
and for the right reasons, likeyour family and sustaining them,
your friends, your community,then, my friends, you can sleep
well at night, knowing that Godis going to continue to provide

(10:41):
and you are going to continue tolack for nothing.
Have an amazing Shabbat, myfriends.
I hope you had a great week,looking forward to a spectacular
Shabbat Disconnect, to connect,and we chat again on Sunday.
Have an amazing Shabbat.