Episode 123 - Your Role as Provider Shapes Your Family's Relationship with Money

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Money, family, and divine economics intertwine in surprising ways that affect every aspect of our lives. Have you ever wondered if your approach to providing for your family might actually be blocking your own blessings?

Today's exploration dives deep into the spiritual dynamics of being a provider. For those without spouses or children, we uncover the hidden blessing in this path—the freedom to direct resources toward personal growth and community service. Rather than seeing this as lacking, it represents a different yet equally meaningful journey with unique possibilities for fulfillment.

But for those carrying the provider mantle, we examine the profound principle of "measure for measure" that governs prosperity. The way you provide—grudgingly or generously, with resentment or joy—directly shapes how abundance flows back to you. Drawing from Rabbeinu Bachi's teachings, we reveal why providing for your family's wants (not just needs) with enthusiasm creates spiritual channels that return to benefit you.

Perhaps most importantly, we explore how your financial behavior shapes your children's lifelong relationship with money. The psychological imprints formed by watching your approach to provision run deeper than you might realize. Through the surprising lesson of the snake's punishment in Eden—being given unlimited access to food—we discover why mindless material provision without emotional presence represents abandonment, not love.

Ready to transform your approach to family provision and unlock greater abundance? Listen now, and discover the balanced giving approach that honors both divine principles and family wellbeing. Share this episode with someone struggling with provider anxiety—it might just change their relationship with money forever.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 0 (00:00):
Good morning everybody and welcome to the
Trust Factor, the podcast thatguarantees your success when you
implement its divine teachings.
Happy Sunday, my friends.
I hope you had an amazingShabbat.
It's always an amazing Shabbat,my friends.
We are talking aboutrelationships.
We're talking about husbandsand wives.
We're talking aboutbreadwinners who supply and

(00:21):
provide for their families, fortheir wives and for their
children, primarily, but alsoextending beyond that to their
parents, to their siblings, totheir extended family and to
their communities.
But really primarily, we'retalking here about wife and kids
.
We've said up until now thatthere are individuals who don't
have wife and children.

(00:42):
They are not given them in thisgo-around.
We don't know why, but it isaccepted that if God put you in
this world without a wife orchildren either one or the other
or both then they are notrequired in order for you to
meet your purpose, to meet yourgoals in this life.
In fact, they may be ahindrance.

(01:03):
It could be that you dealt withthem in previous lives and you
passed the test.
You no longer need to pass thattest and now you're put into an
existence where you don't havea wife and children, which now
means that you have all of thisexcess time and you have all of
this excess money and resourcesthat you can now apply to

(01:26):
different parts of your life, toyour friends, to your extended
family, to your community.
You have the ability to focusyour time and energy on your own
spiritual growth, your ownemotional well-being.
These are the things that youcan now focus on, and you can
focus on helping other peopleand their emotional well-being
and their spiritual growth.

(01:46):
Just because you don't have awife and children does not mean
that you aren't able to reachyour goal.
In fact, the exact opposite istrue.
Your goal has nothing to dowith a wife and children.
Now, what if you do?
What if you're an individualwho has a wife and children, as
well as extended family andfriends and community?
Well, in that situation, myfriends, that is imperative for

(02:09):
you to be able to reach yourgoals.
For you to be able to besuccessful in this go-around,
you need to be surrounded bythose people.
And now guess what?
You've been put in a positionwhere you are the provider.
You have an obligation toprovide for these people and
we've said, even when it comesat your own expense, the expense
of your own spiritual andemotional well-being yeah, you

(02:30):
don't have the time that theother person who doesn't have
these responsibilities has.
You don't have that timebecause you're busy dedicating
your time to be able to generateenough income to be able to
support these people.
It's your obligation, and we'vesaid that you have to support
these people, not just with theminimal amount that they need in

(02:53):
order to get through this life,but you have to be just like
the creator.
At the end of the day, it's ourjob to emulate him, and his
purpose is to give, and, asyou've seen clearly with your
own eyes in your life and thelives of others around you, he
does not hold back.
He gives you what you need andmany of the things that you want

(03:13):
.
That is your job.
Also when it comes to providingfor your family.
It is not just their basicneeds, it is also their desires.
It's the things that they want.
You have to be a mensch.
You have to be a generousindividual, somebody who thinks
of them and not just of himself.
It is not detracting from you.

(03:35):
The opposite is true.
The more you give to them, themore you make them happy.
The more he will make you happy, the more he will provide to
you.
The only way to figure that outis to actually do it.
The longer you sit on yourwallet and the tougher it
becomes for you to put your handin your pocket and supply those

(03:59):
people who are surrounding you,namely your wife and your
children, with the things thatthey want.
The harder you make it, theharder it will be for you.
It will be more difficult foryou.
Things will be held back fromyou because there's this thing
that we discussed before, calledmeasure for measure.
What goes around comes around.

(04:19):
That is the way God createdthis world.
The way you are with others, hewill be with you, and that
applies generously more to yourwife and your children.
That's your obligation.
Rabbeinu Bachi is telling usfrom a Torah perspective.
That is your obligation.
You have to over-provide forthem, and he he says you have to

(04:40):
do it with a smile on your face.
You have to do it with energy,with vim and vigor.
You have to be excited to beable to provide for them.
In doing so, you're going togive them a sense of calm and
security when it comes to money.
Do you know how many peoplesuffer in this life when it
comes to concepts of money?
I knew an individual who wasclose to my family at one point

(05:02):
and her entire business modelthat she created for herself,
which became wildly popular, isan entire business that caters
to individuals and thepsychology of money, because we
all have different relationshipswith money and it all really
stems from the way that we werebrought up in the environment
and the way that our parentshandled and dealt with money

(05:24):
around us, and so if they werehoarding and if they were very
careful with how much they gaveout and how much you received
from them and you had to beg andplead and it was never enough
and you always felt like themoney was more important to them
than you were, then you aregoing to have a certain type of
relationship with money that'sgoing to potentially carry on
into your relationships withyour children, and the opposite

(05:47):
is true If they're generous withyou and they give openly and
freely.
Again, obviously, guys, whatI'm saying over here is always
going to be tempered by realityand that we have limitations.
There is a healthy form ofgiving and there's an unhealthy
form of giving.
In fact, let's discuss that fora minute.
One of the worst things that aparent can do is just give their

(06:09):
child everything they want.
One of the worst things, if notthe worst thing.
How do we know this?
Let me give you an example, thestory of Adam and Eve.
We all know it.
They ate from the tree ofknowledge of good and bad
because of the snake.
The snake tricked Eve and thenEve got Adam to eat.
And then we had three peopleinvolved in that sin.

(06:31):
And later on God comes and hedishes out punishment, the
consequence of their action thatthey went against his
commandment and they ate fromthe tree.
And what was the punishment Alot of people don't remember.
Let me give you really quicklyAdams, by the sweat of your brow
, you will eat bread.

(06:51):
In other words, it was easy foryou to earn a living before you
.
To get your food, to be able tosurvive was easy.
God provided it all.
Now that you've sinned, youhave to work at generating an
income.
One day I'll give you guys aphenomenal story around this,
but it's not for today.
Eve's punishment was, amongother things, pain in childbirth
and that she would besubservient to her husband

(07:15):
because she was the one that gothim to eat.
And you might think those aredifficult, but the worst one,
which you might not think isworse, went to the snake.
Let me tell you what thesnake's was.
The snake's punishment was thatit would crawl on its belly and
its food would be the dust ofthe earth.
What does that mean?
That means that it would nothave to struggle to find a meal,

(07:37):
that anything and everythingthat it came into contact with
it could eat and be satiated.
Now you say to yourself wait asecond, that does not sound like
a punishment to me.
I could eat dust, I could eatanything, and it would satiate
me, it would be tasty to me, itwould all taste the same.
And you might think to yourselfwell then, I no longer have to

(07:59):
really work.
At the end of the day,everything is at my disposal.
But the truth is that that isthe worst punishment of the
group.
Why?
And the answer is because Godis effectively saying to the
snake I am done with you.
I want nothing to do with you.
You are on your own in thisworld.
Good luck, my friend.

(08:20):
You and I no longer have arelationship.
And that's effectively what Godis saying by saying I'm giving
you everything you need.
So that means you will never gohungry, which means you will
never have to cry out to me toprovide you with your means to
provide you with your food.
You will never have to cry outto me to provide you with your
means to provide you with yourfood.
You will never have to cry outto me.
God is saying I'm done with you.

(08:40):
What's that?
The equivalent of a parent whohas made so much money and is so
consumed with their businessthat all they do is give their
child a blank check to say look,I can't be here for you
physically, I can't be here foryou emotionally.
And so instead, here here's theconsolation prize you have
unlimited access to my funds.

(09:02):
Buy whatever you want, buyfriends, buy relationships, try
and do your best to replace me,which will never happen, but at
the end of the day, that childwould get into so much trouble
that they would end updestroying themselves.
That's what happens when youovergive.
So clearly, my friends, that'snot what we're talking about
here.
We're talking about a healthyway of giving people what they

(09:23):
need and many of the things thatthey desire, as long as those
things are conducive to theirlifestyle, to helping them to
grow as individuals andachieving higher levels of
success.
Just like the Creator does withyou, so you should do with your
family.
That's it for today, my friends.
Have an amazing rest of yourweekend and we will chat
tomorrow.