Episode 127 - Trust and Gratitude: Navigating Life's Requests and Relationships

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Who truly deserves credit when someone helps you out? Episode 127 of the Trust Factor podcast challenges conventional thinking about relationships, favors, and the divine plan behind every human interaction.

At the heart of this episode lies a transformative perspective: when we need something from anyone—be it a friend, colleague, or stranger—we should view them merely as intermediaries through whom God fulfills our needs. This shift in perspective places God at the center of every exchange while acknowledging the human vessels who serve as channels for divine provision.

A compelling story illustrates this principle perfectly: a woman preparing for surgery tells her doctor that neither failure nor success should be attributed to him—both outcomes rest in God's hands. While not recommending this exact approach in medical settings, the story captures the essence of seeing beyond human agency to divine orchestration. Whether asking someone tall to reach a high shelf, requesting a ride, or seeking financial assistance, the person helping us is simply the conduit between us and the Creator.

This understanding revolutionizes our approach to gratitude. When requests are fulfilled, our primary thanks belongs to God, though we certainly express appreciation to those who assisted us. Regardless of outcome, we honor the precious gift of time that others invest on our behalf. The episode reveals how fulfillment becomes a "team effort"—both we and our chosen intermediary must be "meritorious" for the request to succeed, making careful selection important while accepting that outcomes ultimately reflect God's perfect will.

Like farmers who plant seeds without controlling the harvest, we make reasonable efforts in our requests and then accept results with gratitude, recognizing that God provides what's truly best—even when that means not fulfilling our desires as envisioned. The highest spiritual achievement? Thanking God with equal sincerity for both "yes" and "no" answers to our requests.

Ready to transform how you view every interaction and request in your life? Listen now and discover the freedom that comes from seeing divine purpose behind every outcome.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning everybody and welcome to the
Trust Factor, the podcast thatguarantees your success when you
implement its divine, age-oldteachings.
Today, we're talking abouttrust when dealing with friends,
acquaintances, communitymembers, people who you ask or
you rely on for favors.
How does somebody who trusts inGod conduct himself in a

(00:24):
relationship when he findshimself asking for something
from anyone?
And the answer will notsurprise you.
If you've been listening.
We're 126 episodes in and thisis number 127.
So if you haven't figured itout by now, my friends, you got
to play catch up.
He says that the properapproach when the need arises to

(00:45):
request something from someoneis that he should rely on God
regarding his needs and shouldconsider these people only as a
means of fulfilling that need.
They are an intermediary.
Remember the story I shared along time ago?
It fits here perfectly.
It's a true story, though Idon't know the name of the

(01:05):
individual of a woman who wasgoing in for a very delicate,
very important surgery andbefore the surgery, she looked
at the doctor.
Now, I don't recommend doingthis, but what she did was she
looked at the doctor and said tohim Doc, if this goes really
badly, god forbid.
I want you to know that it'snot your fault, it was not in

(01:26):
your hands.
And so the doctor looked alittle bit relieved, but then
she continued and she said Ialso want you to know, doc, that
if it goes successfully whichGod willing it will it had
nothing to do with you.
It's not in your hands.
You understand, again, I don'trecommend taking that approach.
You understand Again, I don'trecommend taking that approach.
But that should be the approachto absolutely everything that

(01:48):
we deal with.
With every individual who werely on, whether it's a doctor,
whether it's somebody who'sgiving you a ride, whether it's
the guy in the grocery storewho's six foot five and can
reach the top shelf and can getyou something from it Doesn't
matter who it is.
The guy we've asked for a loanfrom.
You have to recognize that thatindividual is simply the

(02:12):
intermediary.
They are the person between youand God, and God will utilize
them or not to be able to getyou what you want.
Therefore, what does it mean?
It means that when you ask forsomething from somebody and it
doesn't matter who and itdoesn't matter what if that
comes through for you, then youhave only one to thank and that

(02:37):
is not the individual who did itfor you.
It is the Creator.
Does that mean that you don'tthank the individual that did it
for you, the creator?
Does that mean that you don'tthank the individual that did it
for you?
Obviously not.
Obviously not.
Again.
We've said the way of the worldcame before the Torah.
In other words, we understandthat there's a concept of
respect and being polite andknowing your manners, and so

(02:58):
when somebody goes out of theirway to do something for you,
whether or not they'resuccessful, you still thank them
.
If they went to raise money foryou, and Whether or not they're
successful, you still thankthem.
If they went to raise money foryou and they came back with
millions of dollars, thank youvery much.
If they came back with nothing,what do you say?
Thank you very much, you stilltried, you still made an effort
and, just like us and just likewe've been saying since the

(03:19):
beginning, we are not in controlof outcomes.
The only thing we are incontrol of is our effort.
That's it.
The same goes for the people whowe ask favors of.
We need to know that if thoseindividuals Chovot HaLevavot
says if they are meritorious,then it will work out.

(03:39):
So now you have to understandthat you have to be careful.
Right, you've got to be carefulwho you ask for favors from,
because if you ask the wrongperson and he's not meritorious,
then it can't fail.
You might have been worthy ofit, but he's the wrong emissary.
You ask the wrong person.
Now it becomes a team effort.
You both have to be meritorious.

(03:59):
If it's good and the individualis meritorious, it will come
through that individual.
So really you have to becareful with who you ask.
Practically and really there'salso sometimes no way to know
Practically I can know that ifI'm in the grocery store and I
can't reach the top shelf,there's a guy who's 6'5".
I can ask him and my odds areI'm going to come out successful

(04:21):
.
Whether or not the guy'smeritorious right, whether I'm
meritorious or not is adifferent story.
He could easily say no to me.
But if I am, I choose the rightperson.
I chose a tall guy to get methe thing that I need from the
top shelf.
I need a ride somewhere.
I ask somebody who has a car.
You'd be a fool to ask somebodywho doesn't have a car for a

(04:42):
ride, you understand.
So you got to know who to askfor what you want.
You got to make sure that youincrease your odds of success by
making sure that you're askingthe right person, but then you
don't know if they themselvesare meritorious.
Because what do we know?
We don't even know where westand.
We don't even know our ownaccounting when it comes to
things in the spiritual realm,so we don't know how other

(05:05):
people are holding.
So at the end of the day we askthe person goes out and they
made an effort on your behalf,and it doesn't matter what that
effort is.
They went out and they tooktime out of their day and they
gave it to you.
Remember, we said the mostprecious commodity that you have
in this lifetime is time.
That's it.
You will never get any of itback.

(05:26):
And so when somebody decides totake their most precious asset
and dedicate it to you, it doesnot matter what the outcome is.
You still give them thanks.
Now Chavot HaLevovot gives anexample over here to illustrate
it beautifully.
Look at farmers.
What do they do?
They go and they work theirfield and they take their seeds
and they plant their seeds.

(05:47):
Whether or not they get abumper crop, whether or not they
really get an amazing yieldfrom their planting, is out of
their hands.
They make their effort.
If it's an amazing year, thenwonderful.
They look up to the heavens andthey say thank you.
And if not, if there's somekind of a disease in the crop
and the whole thing goes towaste, you know what he needs to

(06:10):
do.
He needs to look up to theheavens and and say thanks,
because that was the perfectthing for him.
It doesn't matter, my friends,whether or not the end result
seems good in your eyes or seemsbad, because at the end of the
day it's all seemingly.
We don't know what's happeningbehind the scenes.

(06:30):
We don't know what we're worthyof and what we're not.
We don't know what's good forus and what isn't.
We think we do, and we'd liketo think that we do, but in
reality we do not.
So you make your effort andthen you wait and you see what
happens.
And two things have to happen.
Number one you have to beworthy of it, and the individual
who you've chosen as yourintermediary, they too have to

(06:54):
be meritorious, otherwise it'ssimply not going to work out.
And he says it over here verysimply.
He says it's also the samething with the individual.
When it doesn't work out, heshould thank Hashem, who chose
the best outcome for him in thismatter by not fulfilling the
desire.
You know, all of us pray everyday and many of us ask for the

(07:16):
same things, right?
The number one inclination inthis world, we said, is money,
and I'm sure everybody talksabout it in their prayers.
Please provide me with money,please provide me with my means
right.
Thank you for what you've givenme up until now.
We said the best way to getmore is to thank for what you've
got.
So thank you, god, for givingme and supporting me and
allowing me to earn all of thismoney to be able to support

(07:38):
myself and my family and, godwilling, you'll continue to do
that right?
Everybody does it.
But when he doesn't give you thelottery that you've been asking
for, when you say, god, I'mready and I'm primed, I need the
lottery right now, I need thewinning ticket, I'm ready to do
what I need to do with it, andhe doesn't come through for you,

(08:00):
it's exactly this.
He is doing something for youby not fulfilling your desire.
He is doing the best for youand you should praise him for
doing the best for you.
When you get to that level, myfriends, when you get to the
level where you can look up tothe heavens and honestly
honestly, with the same passionand fervor that you would look
up and say thank you for winningthe lottery.

(08:22):
When you can look up and saythank you for not winning it,
then you know you've reachedgreatness, then you know you've
reached a really high level inthis world.
My friends, there are not a lotof people who operate on that
level.
I know a lot of people.
I've met a lot of people in my50 years and I can tell you
there are not a lot of peopleThey'd like to think that they

(08:46):
can be like that and they striveto be like that, which is
wonderful, it's fantastic, it'shalf the battle, but really it
is a very high level ofoperation, but really it is a
very high level of operation.
Let's continue and see what hesays.
He says that he should praisethose whom he has asked for help
to the full extent that heknows of their efforts to do his

(09:08):
request, even though it was notcompleted as he and they had
wanted for him, had wanted forhim.
He should act this way with hiscolleagues, his friends, people
with whom he has businessdealings, as well as his
attendants and his partners.
In all cases, he should bear inmind that whether they succeed

(09:28):
or fail when acting on hisbehalf is merely a reflection of
God's will.
If you're in business, if you'rein sales, boy does this apply
to you and boy is this difficult.
Try going into a shareholdermeeting, try going into a sales
meeting at a large corporation,multinational corporation, and

(09:48):
try giving this idea over andtelling them guys, it's okay,
you made your effort, it didn'twork out, it wasn't supposed to
be, let's move on.
Most people who aren't familiarwith these concepts which is
most people would throw you outof that room faster than you can
imagine.
But the reality is nothing ismore accurate than that.

(10:09):
If you've made your effort andwe've said you need to make a
valiant effort it needs to be areasonable effort.
That is expected by everybodyin the world Not that you're an
exception A reasonable approachand a reasonable effort.
If you've made it and it hasn'tworked out, then you should know
that it was absolutely for thebest.

(10:31):
Take that time and take theenergy that you would otherwise
expend trying to keep beating adead horse and apply it
somewhere else, because there issomebody out there waiting to
give you that business and more,my friends.
When you've got that outlook,nothing can touch you, my
friends.
You're on top of the world 24hours a day, seven days a week.

(10:52):
Have an amazing day, my friends.
Continue tomorrow.