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August 22, 2025 9 mins

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Have you ever felt trapped in the cycle of favors, debts, and obligations? Today's episode of The Trust Factor tackles the often-overlooked spiritual dimensions of a seemingly mundane interaction: responding when someone asks you for a favor.

We dive deep into the proper mindset for handling requests from others, beginning with honest self-assessment. If you lack the means or ability to help, the most respectful response is simply acknowledging your limitations. False promises help no one. But when you do have the capacity to assist, giving your wholehearted effort becomes essential—not because you owe it to the person, but because it aligns with divine attributes of generosity.

The countercultural heart of this teaching emerges when we explore the aftermath of helping others. Society has conditioned us to expect reciprocity, to remind others of their "debt" to us, sometimes indefinitely. We've been taught that helping others without compensation makes us fools. This episode challenges that fundamentally selfish paradigm, presenting instead an approach where we see ourselves merely as conduits for goodness. When our efforts succeed, we should thank the divine for working through us rather than congratulating ourselves or creating a sense of obligation in those we've helped.

What makes this teaching truly transformative is its liberation from outcome-dependency. By focusing on our sincere effort rather than guaranteed results, we free ourselves from the disappointment of unmet expectations. While we cannot control how others receive our help or whether they appreciate it, we can control our intentions and actions. This approach ensures that regardless of external outcomes, when we help others without expectation, "we will always win."

Ready to transform how you navigate requests for help? Listen now and discover why true giving comes with no strings attached. How might your relationships change if you approached every opportunity to help others as a privilege rather than a burden?

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Morning everybody, and welcome to the Trust Factor.
This is the podcast that'sgoing to guarantee success when
you implement its divineteachings.
My friends, it's Friday.
Thank God it's Friday.
We are now talking about whathappens when somebody asks you
for a favor.
Whether it's a friend, whetherit's a community or family
member, somebody comes and asksyou for a favor, it doesn't

(00:24):
matter what it is.
Now, obviously, like we've saidbefore, if they've chosen you,
hopefully they've deduced thatyou have the means to be able to
fulfill this for them, or theresources.
Like we said before, noteverybody has the resources.
You can't ask somebody whodoesn't own a car to give you a
lift.
So they've come to you to askyou for a favor, presuming that

(00:45):
you have the ability.
If you don't have the abilityto do this, this is just common
sense, guys.
If you cannot fulfill it, forwhatever reason, don't even
bother trying.
If you know you can't do it,explain to them that you're the
wrong agent.
You're not the guy to fulfillthis task and that's it.
Leave it at that.

(01:06):
There are other people bettersuited to be able to fulfill a
task, because what's going tohappen is, if you take on a task
that you know you cannot do,you are going to come up
empty-handed and then you'regoing to blame yourself.
It doesn't make any sense.
Why put a stumbling block infront of yourself?
Very simply bow outrespectfully I'm not capable.
I doesn't make any sense.
Why put a stumbling block infront of yourself?
Very simply bow outrespectfully I'm not capable, I

(01:29):
don't have the resources.
But, on the other hand, if youdo, you have the ability to go
and do something for a friendThen you should give an effort.
You have to give 100%, justlike everything else in life.
You have to give a real,reasonable effort.
And he says let's read Likewise, if someone asks him, makes a
request of him, he should goabout doing it wholeheartedly,

(01:52):
like I just mentioned, andshould put forth sincere effort,
a reasonable effort, to fulfillthe request, provided that he
has the opportunity to put forththat effort and that the
requesting party is someone forwhom it is proper to apply
effort.
In other words, not just what Isaid, that you have to be able
to have the resources to be ableto do this, but you have to

(02:15):
make sure that you're doing itfor somebody who's worthy of it,
because if you're trying to dogood for somebody who's not
deserving.
We've said before, it doesn'tmatter that you're meritorious.
If they're not, it's not goingto happen.
And you're.
He should rely on Hashem insofaras the fulfillment of this
request If God indeed fulfillsit through him and makes him a

(02:39):
conduit for someone else's good,he should thank God for this.
Thank you, hashem, that youmade me this person's agent and
that it worked out well and Iwas able to be successful for
this individual.
And he says if he is preventedfrom fulfilling his fellow's
request and does not meet withsuccess in carrying it out, he

(02:59):
should not blame himself.
This individual wantedsomething.
It's not proper for you to saythank you, hashem, for not
fulfilling this person's desirethrough me as an agent, because
this person still is looking forwhatever it is that they need.
But what you need to do is notblame yourself.
You know that it has nothing todo with you.

(03:20):
Ultimately, this individual wasnot supposed to receive that
which he asked you to get forhim.
Rather, after exerting himselfand personally putting forth his
best effort, he should informhis fellow that he was not
successful and he did not fallshort in his effort on the

(03:41):
fellow's behalf.
That's always the risk thatyou're going to put forward an
effort and that the individualis going.
You're going to come up in theempty-handed, which means the
individual is going to come upempty-handed and then they may
blame you or they may not, butyou may come to think that they
might think you haven't putforward a proper effort.
So you have to explain to themand, even if it means

(04:04):
quantifying it, to say this iswhat I've done, this is the
length to which I went.
I tried to give you my best andit didn't work.
I came up empty-handed.
I tried with everything I had,but it simply did not work out
and that's it.
Now, unfortunately, sometimesyou're going to have individuals
in this world who simply aren'thappy with that.

(04:25):
They're not happy with the factthat God didn't give it to them
, and they may use you as atarget to say, no, it was your
fault, you didn't give a valianteffort, and you know what
that's out of your hands, out ofyour control entirely, what
other people think and feel.
If you put forward that realeffort and you've substantiated

(04:45):
it, that is all that you need todo.
At the end of the day, you owehim nothing, you owe these
individuals nothing.
That's the reality.
But at the same time, you haveto emulate your creator, which
we've said multiple times.
And God is here to give us.
He owes us nothing, yet heserves us, he does everything

(05:07):
for us, and our job is toemulate him.
So, while I owe my friendnothing, I owe it to myself to
be like God, which means that Ihave to be a provider.
I have to make sure that thisworld is taken care of and the
people within it are taken careof.
That's my job.
If everybody lived that way, myfriends again, it would be a

(05:27):
utopia.
Let's finish off thisexplanation with a note over
here that says that in theArabic translation, it was
translated to say that if therequest was fulfilled through
this individual, through you,you were asked to do something
and the request was fulfilledthrough you as an agent for
another individual, you shouldnot congratulate yourself and

(05:50):
you should not seekreciprocation or thanks from his
fellow.
Wow, can you imagine?
Think about this today, in ourday and age.
Rather, he should thank Hashemthat he fulfilled his fellow's
request through him and made hima conduit for someone else's
good.
What an outlook in life, myfriends.
It's entirely altruistic.

(06:11):
It's entirely about the otherperson.
We are being taught throughsecular societies the exact
opposite of what we're beingtaught over here.
Some people have been taughtthat if you do for somebody else
, it needs to come at a cost.
There is no free lunch.
If you're doing for somebodyand you're not receiving in

(06:34):
return, then you are a fool.
That's what they've beenteaching us that if you're
taking from your most preciousresource to give to somebody
else and you're doing it free ofcharge, then you, my friend,
are a fool.
It is exactly the opposite ofthe way that we should conduct
ourselves in this life.
Not only should we do it if wehave the ability You're not

(06:55):
supposed to put yourself out andcome out at a loss but if
you're able to put yourself in asituation where you can help
another individual and it costsyou very little, then you should
make that effort A hundredpercent.
You should try and do good byyour friend.
Now.
If it works out, then you don'tpat yourself on the back, you

(07:15):
don't flex your muscles and sayagain it was my strength, it was
my wisdom.
You know you should be reallyglad that you asked me to do
this for you, because if you hadasked somebody else, you
probably would have come upempty handed.
But because I know how to tradein stocks, or because I know
the owner of that car dealership, I got you the best deal

(07:36):
possible.
I got you the approval on thefinancing.
Nobody else would have gottenit for you.
Can you imagine?
That's what people think, andyou should not seek
reciprocation.
So now you owe me.
That's a big one.
That's a big one I for you.
Not only do you owe me, but I'mgoing to remind you, and
oftentimes even worse than that.

(07:57):
Not only do you owe me and notonly am I going to remind you on
a regular basis, but I'm goingto continue to remind you even
after you think you've repaid me, because I think that me going
out of my way for you, what Idid for you, is worth so much
more than you could have everdone for me.
So, even though you've done forme in return, because I've made

(08:19):
you feel obligated to, I'mgoing to continue to remind you
that you still owe me.
There are people like that.
Be very careful, my friends,because you can end up feeling
indebted to this individualforever because you asked them
for one thing in your life.
So, my friend, incorporate thisUltimately you can't control
the way people think or feel.

(08:40):
But you know, what you cancontrol is the way you think and
the way you behave.
So if you incorporate theseideas and these behaviors into
the way that you conductyourself, and these behaviors
into the way that you conductyourself when somebody asks you
for a favor, you will always win.
You will never ever lose.
You cannot control theiractions, but you can certainly

(09:03):
control your thoughts andactions.
My friends, that wraps it upfor the week.
I want to wish you an amazingShabbat and, god willing, we
will pick up again on Sunday.
Shabbat Shalom.
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