September 1, 2025 • 67 mins
Inglewood legend & one of the best music artists in the game, D Smoke, joined us and opened up about the highs & lows of marriage, vulnerability, therapy, and of course he talked about his hot new album “Wake Up Supa” that drops Tuesday August 25th! West coast family and everybody around the globe, tune in to another dope episode of Truth After Dark!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I like to tell people Inglewood is a hood. It
is not a ghetto. There are some elements of Inglewood
that's like paradise. You sometimes you walk outside of Inglewood
breathe in the air, you'd be like, oh, you know,
it's like it got a little bit of that Rancho
Kuckamonga to it in the sense that it's more green grass.
It's more you know, it's million dollar houses and has
(00:21):
been for a long time, but it's still that element,
whereas the wild wild West. So on one hand, you're
so proud to be from this section of la and
on the other hand, it's still matures you and tests
you in ways that make you a different breed. So competitively,
like you know, it's better than anything you could come
(00:41):
to Inglewood. If you rise to the top within the city,
you can make it anywhere. And that's what jay Z
said about Brooklyn. If you the top, the top guy
in Inglewood, you got it because they they there. The
talent is there. You know what I'm saying. It's some
of everything, but it will test you and it'll bless you.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Taking over the game, all.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Right, everybody, welcome to Truth after Dark do.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
You think that men or women are more toxic?
Speaker 5 (01:39):
Hello, beautiful people, Welcome to another episode of the Truth
After Dark.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
I'm your host, Zar Faraday.
Speaker 5 (01:46):
Of course, we have Paul Pierce, and tonight we have
a man who embodies more than just music. He's an educator,
a lyricist, a husband, and a voice for the culture
from Inglewood to the Grammys. You know him from his
raw truth and unmatched pen game. His brand new single
Frequency with Lucky Davis out right now. His album Wake
(02:08):
Up Super drops on August twenty six, and come October
he's hitting the road on tour. You'll also catch him
this fall on season three of Mayor of Kingstown. He's
doing it all. Please welcome d Smoke in the building going.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Now I'm tripping. I'm tripping. I'm tripping. It why.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
You don't But it's perfect time, you know what I'm saying.
This is the time for me to thank you for
having me. This is sometimes I'm you know, secluded in
my space being creative, and now that I'm back outside,
I get to hang with the Hammie. Know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I love that. So before we get started, question.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, all black with white and I got to scuffed one,
so you know it's real love.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
That I love it.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
So before we get into it, I have a question
for you. If God sent you a text message right now,
what would it say, say?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Wake up super okay?
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Why would say that?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Because only God knows the ways that I can like
do better. I know God knows, and he knows I
want to do better From a lot of people's standpoint,
I told somebody like fame is like everybody judging you
based on your last stuff and your best stuff, unless
(03:46):
unless your last thing was like, uh, a pr nightmare
or something messed up, you know. But for me famous,
like you know, I mean, I ain't gonna even ask famous,
Like it's like the last time they saw you on television,
they forget that life has happened since then, you know
what I'm saying. So I like to show up hoping
(04:08):
that I'm not a shell of myself, Like if I
hope my yesterday was good enough to show up feeling
like the d smoke that people are used to seeing
on their screen, you know what I'm saying. Sometimes it
be bad days and they'd be like, oh my God,
Like I don't know if I got the energy for it.
So but but yeah, God would say, you know, wake
Up Super put things back in perspective.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
You know, So that's kind of the name of your album.
So is your album tying into that at all? Like,
what is that album name representing for you?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yes, wake Up Super is me narrating an experience of
enlightenment for myself. And it's it's enlightenment for lovers and gangsters.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
I love that lovers and gangs, lovers.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
And gangsters, and not not love in a narrow sense
like romance love. It's just people who are passionate and
honest and genuine.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
And so.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Wake Up Super has multiple kind of phases and that
you know, you can't wake up unless you was one sleep.
So the early part is the unconscious walking through Inglewood,
talking your shit, like, dealing with your nightmares and your
dark side and having fun and just like. And then
as it progresses it becomes more of a thoughtful body
of work with like and all throughout it is live instruments, instrumentation,
(05:29):
it's lyricism, it's uh just dope beats, you know what
I'm saying, Moments where you could move to two step
two backyard music. And so I'm super proud of this
body of work. Bro like on the project. Some of
the features we got, we got we got Lucky Day,
of course, one of my favorite songs. Frequency, we got
(05:50):
uh you know, we got Snoop Dogg and Na nine
on the same song. That's song it's called Biscuits. You know.
We got bj the Chicago Kid, my brother, great p
J Morton, Tiffany, and we got the Russell you know
from the Bay, and we got Miles Minnick. You know.
So it's it's just one of those one of those
(06:11):
bodies of work that to me, if if I had
to compare this to another project, this is my Equimini.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Equimini. So Outcast you got, you got, I mean out cast.
You you got Southern Playlistic Cadillac Music for Outcasts. Then
you got at Aliens for Outcasts, and you got Aquimini,
which is their third album.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Which he knows about it.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Just Equimini is the one that has uh Rosa Parks
on there.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I was in Kansas when I learned about uh Outcast.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
You know, I was a West Coast when I went
to Kansas. Then, you know, I have some teammates from
the South all that that's what I started getting on
like all the South.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
So that's okay.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Oh I got I got a quick question like.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Damn you you were spending so much game, but like,
what what does the like.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Like just coming from the city of Inglewood.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
You know what I'm saying, because when I watched the
it was a Netflix show you did with Snoop.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
He was like, you know where you're from, Homie? It
was like Inglewood? Like how you how do you like?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Because I'm gonna say for me when I leave. When
I first left LA and I went to Kansas and
then went to Boston and it was like, oh, you're
from Cali.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
From LA, I was like, I'm.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
From Inglewood period period.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Tell people how it's just different being from the Wood
and how you hold that on your chest like moving
around like for real, Like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
People don't understand.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
It's almost like a it's on world, it's own thing,
like like talk about.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
That Inglewood would I like to tell people Inglewood is
a hood. It is not a ghetto. There are some
elements of Inglewood that's like paradise. You sometimes you walk
outside of Inglewood breathe in the air. You be like, oh,
you know, it's like it got a little bit of
that Rancho Kuckamonga to it in the sense that it's
more green grass, it's more you know, it's million dollar
(08:20):
houses and has been for a long time, but it's
still that element where it's the wild, wild West. So
on one hand, you're so proud to be from this
section of la And on the other hand.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
It's still matures you and tests you in ways that
make you a different breed, so competitively, like you know,
it's better than anything you could come to Inglewood.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
If you rise to the top within the city, you
can make it anywhere. And that's what jay Z said
about Brooklyn. If you the top, the top guy in Inglewood,
you got it because they they there. The talent is there.
You know what I'm saying, it's some of everything. But
it will test you and it'll bless you. You know
I'm saying, you.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Know, because I see you you proud of it. Oh
for sure, I'm proud of it. Sure like im you
made us.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That just made us proud and we had to be like,
all right, he on Boston. But that's hard dog, right,
you know.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I just I just came back from the reunion. You know,
I stepped in there. I was by myself, Like I
could go to the Wood, I could go to Cela Park.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
What you was in the park doing with the Inglewood reunion?
Because I saw the Mine Side one.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, that was that Saturday. So the Inglewood reunion was
that the week before.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
It's a thirty year yeah, but it was all the classes.
When it was all the classes that right, I was like,
let me step up in here. Already know I caught
these buses. I was down Manchester Chrishaw.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I was walking.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I was on Working Street. Come on, now, you can't
tell me I can't walk through the wood, right, you
know what I'm saying, no security when I'm over.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Like twenty None of that to you, because to you,
it's like, man, I just want to feel Inglewood again.
That's where I come from. To them, it's like, oh,
he showed up. You know what I'm saying forgiving people that,
because when we show up, they like that. They already
proud whether we there or not. But it was like, yeah,
(10:20):
we are Inglewood is us because ultimately they had something
to do with us rising to the top in a
real way. The gangsters would step in and not let
me catch them face that I was ready to catch.
People would be like, no, you not that, and I'm
sure you know that. They was like, no, bro, you
got a future in that. Let us do this. You
(10:43):
do that? Like Inglewood is special, bro right right, And
I'm sure like other hoods have that element too, But
I don't think everybody can speak to that same thing
where it's like even if not the lowest, but the
most gangster, the darkest people with the darkest experience know
something no especial one when they see it in it
(11:04):
and will help push them to the top, like that's
the truth. Nobody handed me a gun. It's like, nah,
we got this.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
So And I think it's a certain level of like
humbleness that people have that come from Inglewood or even
Snoop come from Long Beach.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
I'm from Long Beach.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
You know, it's a certain Yeah, it's a certain level
of humbleness that I see from Paul and even you.
So I think that's super dope that you guys can
still show up for your community in that way and
still represent for sure. So I'm gonna switch gears a
little bit because we are a Relationship podcast is the
Truth After Dark.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Let's go.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
So you are a married man, which I commend you for.
So how does it feel, especially being in a generation
and an industry that is so against commitment at this time?
You know, everyone has this gender war going on. It
seems like men and women just can't get it right.
Where do you stand and what does that? What has
(12:02):
this taught you about love?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Just being married?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Well, I'm gonna start from knocking myself off any pedestal
that anybody could put me on. Like me and my wife,
we have a beautiful relationship, but we have to go
through counseling and learn how to do it all the time.
And part of something that we learned in counseling was
it's this continuous cycle of connection, break and repair. Like
(12:31):
it's a it's NonStop expected. Don't don't get to one
stage and be like, don't get to one stage and
be like, be mad that that's happening. No expected. So
if you expect each stage, then it's like you can
choose in the same way that you expect somebody to
play defense when you on offense. So you choose to
(12:51):
be bothered by they little checks and if they reach football,
like I've seen it like a little push on the posts.
You ain't even worried about it even wow, you ignore it,
you know, So that that was something that put it
in perspective recently because we've seen each stage multiple times.
And then when they said that, it's like duh, right,
but before you have the before you have the vocabulary
(13:14):
to navigate it like calmly. Right, once you put give
a title to it and a name to it, then
you could be like, I know what this is, all right,
let me approach it from this perspective rather than being like, man,
what's happening? No, we know what's happening. This is a
repair stage. And because I've identified it as such, I
(13:35):
know how to address it with calmly you know what
I'm saying. Because you could it can shorten that gap
between break and repair. The better you are at repairing,
you know what tools to you know your tool bag
is big, you know which one applies to what problem.
Then you could be like connection, you know what I'm saying.
(13:56):
We want to stay in connection like, and niggas don't
want to be in like connection break bright a pair
of repair repair connection break. No, you want to be
a connection. Okay, repair connection, you know what I'm saying.
You want it to be like a longer part of
the wheel, you know, but that's a cycle, and you know,
(14:20):
you know, perhaps later we could talk about all the
stuff we've been through, because it's like it's break. Sometimes
feels like a break unto death. It feels like it
feels fatal and final, you know what I'm saying, Because
you know, when you talk about commitment, you're talking about
all of a person and their worst. Like you got
(14:42):
to see their worst and accept that, and their worst
is big, flawed And the cold part is they will
do stuff that you will wrongfully take personally wrongfully. People
don't do stuff because of you. It's what's happening in
them that they gotta still navigate why they wish you.
(15:02):
I've made major mistakes, you know what I'm saying, major
mistakes and so so and she's had to deal with that,
and she's had to choose me after that and vice versa.
You know. So that's the part where uh where people
kind of have and me included. I chose this, but
(15:24):
I didn't know what I was getting into. It's like
they said, a marriages like jumping into uh, Whitewater rapids,
and I know where that thing is going and you
gotta navigate it, you know so. But better than the
initial feeling that got you wined is re earning that
connection time, you know what I'm saying, and knowing that
(15:46):
you have the tools to do that again, you know so,
And we still we still navigating. It's like ongoing. It's
a conversation. It's a NonStop conversation.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Now, I was in a relationship, married for thirteen years,
and I got some advice for you that I didn't
take and so, and this goes along with any thing
that lasted a long time. So I just feel like
in rap or basketball, you gotta do the history and
(16:21):
see like damn, let me look at the cats who
lasted long and hoops, let me see why he was great,
you know what I'm saying. So like in a marriage,
let me talk to my grandma or something like, how
was y'all together for forty years? Like and when they
start telling you, oh, it wasn't smooth, but we don't
go back and talk to them.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And it has two parts to that conversation. How did
y'all make it that you want? You want to ask
two specific questions like what did you do to make it?
What have you gone through? So I'm not as up
with exactly. They'd be like, baby, he left for three
years and I had to wait for the other dads
to go back. And you'd be like, oh dad, grandma, Yeah,
(17:03):
you'd be like, you know, I got a family who
got uh got children younger than their uh wife's youngest
child if you do the math, you know what I'm saying.
And so but they're together, you know what I'm saying,
she's like that stuff. Wouldn't do it.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Like you know, no, I never said would Yeah I'm kidding, yeah, no, no, no,
I know.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
But so, like this is what I learned that one
of the barbecues. UH just talked to my uncle, Like
my grandma had like seven kids, like seven eight kids.
It was like four boys for her. But I learned like,
so I'm looking at my uncles. You know, a couple
of uncles don't look like the rest of the family.
But they in the middle of you know what I'm saying,
(17:52):
like they okay, you got the one, the two, but
the third one don't look like then the fourth look
like then.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
It was like Puerto Ricans in the middle. So then I.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Asked my uncle. He was like, yeah, you know, we
ain't got the same fathers. But then there was another
one that happened after them, but with the same father
as the other one that I was in front of them.
I was like, damn, So they really went through something,
but they stayed together. That was real love back then,
like you have a whole other kid, and y'all stay together,
(18:22):
and y'all stayl in the same house. And that I
was like, damn, when you really learn from the old
school and you really have conversations, and this is in
any field work, sports career, like you know, for me
to be great and hoop, I had to go back
and look at the tapes I talked to the greats.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
What made you great? You know, you go through some stuff.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
So I have a question though, and this is me
like being completely biased.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
I just I just have a question.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Do you believe that they stayed together because it was
real love or did they stay together because women didn't
have the same opportunities that they have now. Because I
feel like a lot of women stayed with their man
because they couldn't work, They didn't have jobs, they didn't
have the same access to resources, money, opportunity. So I
feel like a lot of women were like, I have
to stay with this, maith. He takes care of my
(19:10):
whole entire life. There's not much I can do here,
and I can't have much of a voice. Where we
created a society now where women feel like they can
be more vocal, they can have a voice, even me,
a woman on a platform with Paul Pierce, you know,
I'm able to talk and have a voice, which is
very different from back in the day.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Oh, I mean, for sure, there are cases where you know,
they stay together out of an arrangement that their lives
depended on. Right if one is working and the other
one is completely dependent, then it's like, look, I can't
necessarily just leave. But you have the reverse of that
as well, two people. It's like this is a two
(19:50):
income household, and one income don't cut it in today's
where like, yeah, you know, we're fortunate to be like okay,
we live and where we want to live and have
luxuries and stuff. But the reality, like I try not
to be too disconnected from other people's reality. The reality
is that in a lot of places, and this happened
started happening early, that it started being harder, especially for
(20:13):
black people, for a black man to get an income
than his woman, you know. And that's that's something that
can be traced back to, like it was like a
tactic to combat the civil rights movement, like Okay, let's
start employing the women more to take this man figure
or at least the respect for him out of the
(20:35):
house in the same way, you know what I'm saying.
You know, we black women can get employed. Now when
you talk about equal pay and all that stuff, that's
a whole different conversation that's not always fair, but in
just terms of creating an income, so they can start
to feel justified in the like, oh, I can do
this by myself feeling right, which completely negates what it
(20:57):
means to have a male presence in a young child life. Yeah,
that was that was something that came into play and
and you know, so it's from it happened on both
in both ways. You got a man that's like might
be leaving because he no longer feels like a man,
or you got them staying together because he kind of
(21:17):
relies on her too. Like and uh, Tabitha what's her
last name.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Mac Brown or Tabitha Brown Brown?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yes, incredible, beautiful soul. Her has a model marriage, and
her family is like in so many ways of inspiration
to so many, But I love her degree of honesty.
Tabitha Brown and her husband sat up and I watched
him with live audience. Chance yes, and they were like,
they were like, look, bro, there was a time where
(21:49):
us relying on each other and each other's income and
and just our circumstances kept us together. If we could have.
There was a time where where both of them say, like,
if we could have or to split, we was cool
on each other. You know what I'm saying, Thank God,
we're good. We made it.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
And they're such a great couple too.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yeah, I say that it's actually liberating. Yeah, okay, cool.
So sometimes we just hard on ourselves, you know, but
what what how do you? Somebody said, youse, somebody that
suffer as well? How do you? How do you suffer?
You know what I'm saying. Do you pacify? You know
what I'm saying. Do you need somebody else? You know
(22:28):
what I'm saying, give me chills?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Do you need somebody?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
You need somebody? Wow?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
So do you smoke weed?
Speaker 4 (22:37):
You smoke weed? Are you high right now?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I have a question too, going into everything you said
in your spitting cars. By the way, do you feel
like today in this generation is this something Paul and
I spoke on before that a lot of people have
a false idea of like options because of social media
the days the wife left the swife, right, And does
that make it harder do you think in your opinion
(23:05):
to have a commitment in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
It's interesting because I try to put myself in the
mindset back when I was a teacher, right, I was
a school teacher. Then I tat that I taught at
Westchester for a year, I taught at View Park across
the street from Nipsey's shop, and then I taught at
Hawkins and then this school called High School for Recording Arts.
(23:32):
But I try to put myself back there because even
though I was confident then everything required a certain degree
of work. You had to earn somebody's respect admiration. And
even if I'm out and I got my best fit on,
they still got to see who I am and what
I'm about to give me a shot. And so the
reason I got to put myself back there is because
(23:54):
with fame that's not the case and not that not
that any option is necessarily an eye for something sustainable
or something that something that could really be compatible. But
it's a it's for certainly an option for distraction. It's
certainly an option for pacification, if nothing else, if nothing else,
(24:18):
if a nigga don't want to feel bad, and this
is this is something I don't mind my wife hearing,
because it's the reality.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Fame.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Fame puts a nigga in unrealistic circumstances. It's nothing. A
man is a hunter. We're naturally like, I am built
to pursue. I like the chase. Actually, so for somebody
built to chase, how awkward and how out of line
withal principles or natural laws? Is it that the chase
(24:48):
is happening in reverse to somebody who's naturally offensive. I'm
being pursued based on some shit I did years ago
that got me fame. And I'm a na true aggressor,
like you know, So the discipline, the need for discipline
becomes ridiculous. And you can exercise discipline for ten days
(25:11):
straight be weak, one hundred days straight and be weak,
and then the devil throw at you. Your favorite is
you know what I'm saying like.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
It's the devil that's your best ice cream?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Right, you know what I'm saying. This is with butter
put can top, you know what I'm saying, and so
and and for for me personally and this these are
things that my wife knows about me, like I'm not
big on like uh, I'm not. I'm not an over
(25:48):
sexual person, right. Me and my wife have a very
healthy relationship. Baby, baby, how you do all right? All right?
We know how to do our stuff. Baby, Good to
see you. I'm gonna see you later. But when it
comes to energy and encouragement and words of affirmation and
(26:10):
and connection, when people see see when people are observant
enough to see read between the lines and be like hey,
I notice boom, then the flattery is more than just flattery.
It's like damn, you know, those are the parts of
me that people I've often miss, you know. And so
(26:31):
it's the exchange of energy that for me is like
the guilty pleasure. It's not even like, oh, I'm trying
to be caught somewhere doing something like it ain't that's
that's booth, you know. But it's just like I gotta
be careful when somebody's like Dan he's speaking my language
because I just want to talk. I want to talk
that because not everybody speaks the same language. When there's
(26:53):
a disconnect at home, sometimes the repair stage is a
whole different work than action, you know what I'm saying.
So so it's it's a it's a work of discipline,
it's you know, sometimes it's just yeah, it's just discipline
is the best tool for giving yourself a fighting chance
(27:13):
at protecting something.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
You sounded like you were like, that sounded like mental stimulation. Yes,
that that that that that's the.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Connection mental stimulation more than when you got posativity to
you know what I'm saying. My thing is when somebody
is extremely present and observant, then it's there's one thing
to be like I need this, and somebody like, okay,
I'll do that. There's a whole other thing to be like,
I see this need in you and you be like,
(27:43):
oh my god, I didn't know I had that, you
know what I'm saying, and be like a matter of fact,
let me do this before I even see this needed,
let me do this. That That's what I often anticipating
The needs is something that can only be accomplished by
presence and connection and observation. The connection is a is
(28:05):
a result of anticipattion. You know, you gotta.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Because y'all need to hear this right here.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
So yeah, because that's real. And someone asked me, he
thinks he did, like what do I bring to the table?
And my exact response was, I will anticipate your needs.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Gangster response. I can't think of it. I can't think
of a better quality because you cannot do that without
being present, you know what I'm saying. And Paul says
some off camera the board moments, the quiet moments, they're
the best one. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Because
and so I think in addition to like the cycle
(28:49):
we talked about repair, I mean connection break and repair
men have their own like cycle that they go through.
Of ex like, we're built to strive to go pursue something,
whether it be you pursuing your woman or you're pursuing
this dream that pushes you to your limits. Right Like
(29:12):
Paul has shot more jump shots than some people have
eaten meals in their life. You know, I mean certainly,
because certainly you can only eat three meals a day.
My man can put up a doubt, you know what,
I'm saying thousand shots today, you know what I'm saying.
So so in that cycle of trying to better yourself
(29:34):
to that extent, not just better yourself, surpass the competition,
both that cycle and the cycle of you know, trying
to be a good person at the same time or
pursuing love, there comes this need for like recuperation, and
women are super drawn to the guys who have that
drive because I think it's I think it's instinctive. Like
(29:57):
a dude who has that drive typically amounts to a
certain degree of safety, amounts to the possibility of a
happier life for a woman, and options and all that stuff. However,
you know, that question of what do you bring to
the table is one that reminds us that there are
(30:19):
needs for that particular type of man that are very
different from the dude who's playing video games, you know
what I'm saying, and all day not to not video games,
but the man who's out there putting it on the
line is a different level. He might show up a
different level of exhausted mentally in his soul. And this
(30:39):
is from experience. I've been like I'm depleted, you know,
I have disciplined I'm super disciplined. How the hell did
I get here? You know what I'm saying, I got
mad discipline. But discipline is one of those qualities that's
super easy to exercise when you when you charged up
(31:00):
and you deplete it. Sometimes it be the moments the
devil know what he's doing. You know what I'm saying.
So that's why you want somebody that's that's president and
observing to be like because that crashing board, there's nothing
like that connection where it's like, come here, I got
you boy, nigga, just let it all go. And then
you know what I'm saying, You get, you get in love,
you getting a meal, you're getting words and and just
(31:22):
times quiet. I saw I saw a woman on a
podcast that was just honest that was like, look, man,
my first marriage failed because X, Y and Z and
sometimes I didn't know when to shut the fuck up.
And I would never tell a woman that, right, But
if she says it, and it's saying it to other women,
it's more of it's not so much to you not
(31:44):
having a voice. It's more so like knowing and having
a discernment to create a space where somebody could just
like let that off. At a at A at a
realistic pace, she space where silence there's nothing more attractive
than than comfortability and silence, you know what I'm saying.
(32:04):
My wife, we didn't have a hard past. Y'all lost
my mom. We had disagreements on how to deal with that.
Like imagine, it's like I'm trying to navigate this and
you see it us going about it a different way,
like that's that's difficult, you know. And so even recently,
you know, she she woke up in the morning, it
was like, I remember you like kissing me on my
(32:25):
cheek through you know, through during the night, you know,
you kiss me multiple times. Like she was like, I
was super sleepy, but I remember it and you know,
made me happy. Then she was like, like was she
trying to get it popping? I said no, and that
and me saying NA made her feel even sweeter about
like you just wanted to love and it was even laughed.
(32:46):
I told her, like, you just, you know, look so peaceful,
you know what I said. I like that, you know,
and so let's try to achieve that while you woke too,
you know, And that was my joke because it's like
it's like sometimes like you really connected. When when it
don't take nothing, and help me make it not to
(33:08):
take nothing, then I'll be creative on all to something.
But as soon as somebody's like, what can we like?
And you know, sometimes it'd be like we need whole
seasons or nothing because it is in that much. Imagine
being broke, like we not broke. Imagine being broke, and
even when we broke, we not broke. You know what
(33:30):
I'm saying. It's just like okay, okay, lick, it might
be love. If we come off something we up. I
don't want to come off nothing, you know what I'm saying. So,
but imagine imagine being broke together people don't. Sometimes they
make hard decisions and in doing so they get closer
and closer and closer becaus like, oh, we can't afford
(33:50):
to go to my wife just went to a family reunion. Right, Well,
what if we both as teachers and the bills were
just boo boo and we couldn't afford to go, we
would actually be creative on how to connect with the people. Oh,
I need somebody to FaceTime me when it's doing this.
I want to send messages listen this. You know, the
creativity comes out of necessity, you know what I'm saying.
(34:12):
And a lot of times we forget that we living
outside of the norm, you know what I'm saying. More
there are more people below the middle class line, far
more people below the middle class line than our social
circles we're used to. I'm used to hanging with Paul
Pierce's you know what I'm saying. Now, you know, now
(34:33):
this ain't I ain't. It ain't NBA money yet we
on the way, you know, but it's still socially, we
just got to remember that that that necessity, like people
making it out of necessity, like we referred to earlier
as real.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
Oh that's real, man, be a good one. Yeah, you
spoke a lot of bars and I knew you.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
This is what love looks like.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
Yeah, sure what it sounds like. There's hope there for
sure is.
Speaker 5 (34:59):
And I have a question because you seem extremely vulnerable
and open, and especially for a black man, that's tough,
you know what I mean? And how do you balance
being like a protector and a provider and a man
because man, like you mentioned earlier, animalistic by nature, you
guys are chasers, but also being vulnerable, like how do
(35:21):
you find that balance in your relationship.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Top of that, we taught as black men to grow
up tough.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
Yeah, like what you're looking at, Like.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
You know what I'm saying. So like now we're in
the world to where it's like damn, you know. Like
with my son, I'm like, man, it's cool to cry, Broye,
you know what I'm saying. Whereas me when I was
a kid, if I'm crying, I'm gonna get socked in
the chest.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Like toughing up. And so it's interesting because my wife
told me recently, like I feel like you. I feel
like you just going through the motions and it's racing,
you know, just to be transparent, like we're not out
of the thick albums. She just didn't one got a
(36:01):
new single on the way. There's plenty room for break
or disconnect. Where we got to repair, repair, repair, and
if I had to add them to that cycle, it's
endure like disconnect, break, endure, repair because the real work
(36:21):
takes you pausing stuff. Niggas don't have time to pause
all the time, so to endure is like like it's
almost like we don't mean to intentionally test our partner,
but we all do. Like where it's like like, no,
I'm I'm tired of being luxury husband. Like if I
(36:42):
wasn't me, like, would you still stick it through that?
I know what I had to go through to get here.
Me and my wife we met post fame too, So
there's a and I'm just being honest, there's a part
of me that's just like, man, I wish I wish
we had the lock in of you haven't helped the
nigga build this, But that's not the case. So if ever,
(37:05):
if ever, the way in which I'm trying to protect
the marriage requires too much energy to where I feel
like the balance is tilted against me having to do
what I got to do to maintain his life. I'm
gonna expect you to endure. And so the reason she
said that to me is because I've been in that
mold with an album coming out and then roll out mode.
(37:25):
And it's like I told her earlier this year, like
my goal is to show up for myself more. And
that's usually women saying and like I've been lost in
wifehood and I just want to do some things me No,
like when I come from a father who super present
for us, for my mom but never and He's an
(37:46):
incredible father, but never built his own empire. Who's had
great jobs, He's shown up for people, he supported in
ways that people forever appreciate him. But my dad used
to make barbecue sauce. Part of his dream was toll.
He wanted to be sweet baby Ray. Like he had
(38:06):
an limousine company. He had one car. He wanted to
build his clientele, put another one on the road, pit
a third, and then have a fleet. Stay one car,
you know what I'm saying. But he also would pick
us up. He would do whatever it took, you know.
But but so I had to get mentors to teach
me how to build my empire. I had to feel
(38:29):
those voice like my father couldn't help me achieve my goals.
He can help me be a brilliant person, you know,
he can help me be a loving, caring, honest, humble person.
But when it gets to the stage where it's like, oh,
I'm doing all this husband stuff, but the bar keeps raising,
Like the better I am, the more luxuries, more creative
(38:52):
my partner gets and being like oh can we do this? Now?
Can we do this? And it's like so then it's like, oh, now,
how about our reintroduce us to a phase where it's
like like, no, let's let's be more resourceful and creative. Also,
let's fast damn there, Let's act like we wasn't in
(39:14):
the position we was so that we could stay in
the position we in. You know what I'm saying, And
that's that could be both in terms of excessive affection.
It could be too much sex, like like, it's good
we're walking all the time, but it's my drive to bleeding.
Am I not stepping up in places like a dog?
I want to be you know what I'm saying, Like
(39:34):
especially stuff like this week I did, I did sway
in the morning, I did up Rocks, I did just
incredible last week. I dropped a couple videos in the
past month and and wrapped in front of other stuff
Like So when you're showing up and it's one thing
to put out a song where it's like this is
my music, it's another thing to be like we're seeing
(39:57):
if niggas still rap And I'm like, do you.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (40:01):
That's like catching phades, bro. It's like walking to the
back of the the back of the football field at Inglewood,
the railroad tracks exactly it's like, I ain't nobody even
gonna pull over here. It's just us circle of people.
And nowadays its phones out like it's documented. You get dropped,
(40:21):
it's viral, you know so. But but that's so the
energy you want to show up with, it's like it's different.
So they endure. It's not even necessarily a break. It's
just you got to endure phase where it's like it's
not even about very, it's not about it. That's about partnership.
(40:42):
Partnership is you have to have a partner going in
the war, like hold my hold my armored, come on bro.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Sometimes you need to put the battery.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
And then it'd be like, so my wife has this
thing and this is her growing to understand memore. It's like,
how can I help? What do you need? And once
you ask, you've already done a little bit of it,
like oh, showing up right. Then then it might be nothing.
But nothing doesn't mean go elsewhere. Nothing might just be
like just be right there right or this for this
(41:15):
phase like I got you like, and it could be
it could be finding when a nigga often is my
finest silent moments to handle some things so that things
are buttoned up and sealed. So then when they show up,
people is fully present with somebody that's like they're like, no,
let's do this. You know what I'm saying. So, but
(41:35):
that's that's the phase where she had to tell me
like like you ain't and I'm like, I know, And
I had to take them to be like and I
see everything you do. Let me let me scale back,
humble myself and be like, it hasn't gone unnoticed that
you've cooked a gang of meals and this and that
shit matters. You know, it hasn't gone to notice that
(41:57):
you've cleaned, that you've hopped up and been like, go
to the gym. I got the dogs, got two dogs,
no kids who taught us to do that. We got
a dog per person in the house that ain't cool,
like but but we love them their family members now,
you know. So I had to be like, you know,
I see you so so in the moment where you
(42:20):
saying like I feel like you you know I do
see you that you know that being said, you know,
it's season. It's a season, you know what I'm saying,
and still being willing to be like, look, I'll do
some of the work sometimes, like I think it's healthy
even mid mid season, mid pushed and grind season, to
(42:43):
wash some dishes like man let me. I even got
a line in the song like he delights in washing
dishes because my hand's getting cleaned in the process. Is
it for our fish to fathom this is in a
contest or like a journey when the Louise keep it
all within context. Even the broken clock is right twice
between the sunset to see the sunset. You know, it's
just like like perspective, like like so being willing to
(43:07):
be like, look, i might be in dog mode, but
you go rest I'm gonna handle this like different ways
to communicate, so that although they like because you know,
women are gonna be women. Yeah, And I had to
tell myself, I'm not gonna wait till my wife acts
like one of the homies to love her. She could
be a whole woman, be very different from me. And
(43:28):
I got to be like, all right, I still got
to show up.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
That's the part.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Because my assistant part of you, when you used to
having people around that share the same mind, you got
to remember like they also they don't have the responsibility
to love you romantic, so their feelings are so they
can be fully excuse me, they can be fully attentive
in different ways and their feelings ain't in it the
same way, so you know, whereas when they do it,
(43:53):
it's still like I need love, bro, you know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
I'm waiting.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
I want to I wanted to up for you. But
will you notice early enough to be like I see
you and it like cool? You know? So that's that's
our challenge, Like.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Oh yeah, that's tough because she had.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
To advocate for herself this time around, because it's like,
I'm a woman. Money trees is the perfect place for
shade like and that's just you help us get there.
We could do. It's not even measured in the good times.
I want them. I want more good times. I just
want safe, sustainable good times. There's an amount of good times.
There's no amount of money that can't be spent. Mm hmmm.
(44:32):
At my lion.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Sometimes we get lost in our work.
Speaker 5 (44:37):
But remembering you said something so key that a lot
of man lose sight of. Is that remembering that a
woman is a woman, Like I'm just a girl, so
I'm going to have emotions. I'm not going to be
as strong as you mentally, I'm not going to show up.
How you can show up. Just remember that because if
you want to be with a woman, I'm a woman,
and if I want to start acting masculine in this,
(44:57):
you're not gonna like that. So just love me for
me being a woman. I'm gonna love you for you
being you know what I mean. So that's really important.
I love that you said that because people lose sight
of that a lot.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
And mind you, I earned these insights. Yeah, dough mistakes,
you know. So if Nigga's like, man, I wish I
knew that, Hey, it takes time. It takes time, and
it takes being with somebody that's gonna give you another shot.
Because I gave my wife reason to leave before you
know what I'm saying, vice versa. We both had an
option to be like fuck this ship and to keep
(45:33):
it a buck. We've even probably said that at one
boy this ship. You know, fuck this ship and leaving
are two very different things. Like this shit like you
could just be like, I'm not working on this for
a couple of days. I'm going to leave it on
the table until we come back to we got the
energy to address.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Or the endure comes door comes in wheat.
Speaker 4 (45:55):
That's that real.
Speaker 5 (45:56):
And I appreciate you saying that because I love how
you started speaking. You said, first of all, take me
off any pedestal that you had me on, because I'm married.
Like you, being real and honest and transparent is so
important because.
Speaker 4 (46:10):
Yeah, I mean, you know, you keep things for.
Speaker 5 (46:12):
Yourself, but at the same time, you know you you
The fact that you can be real like that is
so important for so many people because a lot of
people live in a fairy tale world, especially with Instagram,
where we show only the bags and the trips and
the flowers, and you forget to hear these real conversations.
You know, I come from a mother and father who's
still married fifty plus years, a sister twenty plus years,
(46:34):
so you know I've seen it and I know that
it's not a fairy tale.
Speaker 4 (46:37):
You have to do the work. So I appreciate you
saying that. That means a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Parents got divorced three times and remarried three times.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
Wow, that's crazy wild.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
That's why out of it it was. It was to
the point where the last time they got divorced or no,
the last time I got remarried, I was like, what
are y'all doing like you guys are obviously friends, you've
accomplished somebody being that y'all had the kids already. Just
stay friends, hang out. Like why do y'all both feel
(47:12):
the need to trap it? You know what I'm saying?
Like you did that? But they was like, I want
my husband back, I want my wife back.
Speaker 4 (47:20):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah, get in the house and be like, oh, I
can't live with you.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
What would you say?
Speaker 5 (47:27):
That's one thing your wife has taught you about, like
being a better man.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
I mean that what I just said was probably the
most like, yeah, don't wait until she thinks like a
man to love her. And you can't wait until she
think like a man. Even that book think like a man.
It's just giving women tools to be like, try to
jump outside of that, like the way you see things
(47:53):
that understand us. Right men, I do not believe and
correct me if I'm wrong. I don't believe eve that
women are taught how to treat men right I think,
and I don't think men. I don't think men are
I don't think all men are good at treating women
how they should be treated. But we're still more aware
(48:14):
of how women are supposed to be treated, whether we
program whether we sign on to that or not. You're
supposed to treat a woman with respect. You to talk
to it this way to like some niggas be like
man look at it like but we're still more aware.
I think men are taught how to treat women and
women are taught how to be treated. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:32):
I said this on my last episode.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
You know what I hold up. We are men are
a specific thing. We are a creature. You know what
I'm saying, Like and so's it's worth putting more of
that into the conversation because it just raises awareness on
the part of the women, like like on how to
(48:55):
create balance?
Speaker 4 (48:57):
That's real? What do you think?
Speaker 5 (48:59):
And I'm coming with you back to back? But you
have so much knowledge? What is something that you feel
like you had to unlearn about love in order to
fully step into your marriage because we all are programmed
to learn something or see something.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
You I have to constantly unlearn that love is not
a feeling.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
We expand on that constantly.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
There's okay, one of my favorite books, you know, and
I was about to refer to the book Will by
Will Smith when he talks about Jada hating the pageantry
of love, not even wanting a merit a wedding, Like
I remember that. He was like Jada had the belief
back then that two people should be forced to run
a marathon together before they could even consider, you know,
(49:45):
choosing a lifetime together, you know. And so I was
going to refer to that early. But then the next
thing that I'm thinking of the book Seven Habits of
highly Affective to People. It just deals with tools in life.
And there was a chapter where where the the author,
Stephen Covey is Uh is talking to his friend and
(50:08):
his friend is like, bro, I don't know what to do.
I don't. I don't. I just don't feel like I
love my wife no more. Is the feeling is not there,
like like it's it's just I don't, I don't know
if I want this. And he's like, then love her.
He's like, but that's what I'm telling you, I just
don't feel like I love her no more. He's like, no,
then love her. Like earn the feeling with the action.
(50:31):
You know what I'm saying. It's like, choose to love her,
start to do for her, to express it, until she
gives you that feeling back. Because there's something in her
that can be revived to ignite you in the way
that y'all had been at one point. And and the
beauty of it is when you earn it back, it's
better than the the innocence because the initial is it's
(50:52):
all innocence, newness, freshness, you know, sparkle. You know what
I'm saying. Boy, it's more at the beginning, man, And
that too, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (51:02):
Like that love right there you're talking about when you
respark it, that's the real for sure.
Speaker 1 (51:06):
You've earned it like d and then you kind of
got to retrace the steps like, Okay, this is what happened,
is how we got Okay, cool, let's learn that process.
But but yeah, it's not a feeling. Love is not
a feeling. My mom said, love is a choice. Yeah,
you gotta do it all the time, choose them all
the time.
Speaker 5 (51:26):
That's a popular debate if love is a choice. And
you know my sister who's married, she's been married for
twenty something years and she always tells me, like, the
only difference between my husband and I and everybody else
is that we wake up and choose each other every day,
no matter the circumstances. We've made a choice, and her
husband always says, I will never leave her.
Speaker 4 (51:47):
It's a choice.
Speaker 5 (51:48):
No matter who I see women i'm around, I choose
her and she chooses me. And that's that's deep. So
I love that, I really do. So go ahead, you
have a question.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
I think we can.
Speaker 4 (52:04):
Oh you want to go into that? Okay? So okay, okay, Okay,
what time is it?
Speaker 2 (52:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (52:11):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (52:12):
So Paul has had so many viral clips and I
actually saw you comment on one of his clips yesterday
or something, and you was like, that's real nigga ship right, No, no, No,
what is RNs there for? Okay, that's what I interpreted,
But he has he has a few moments. So I
(52:34):
just want to get your perspective on some of the
things he said. I'm gonna I'm gonna hit you with
the first one because we've been talking about marriage this
whole time. He said that marriage is for This is
a long time ago. I don't know if he still
feels this way, but he did say that marriage is
for poor people and for old people.
Speaker 2 (52:49):
No, so let me try.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Like, because I didn't expand on it like I should
have when I said it, I think I said that
in a way, that's saying the longevity of it for
them lasts longer for those people. Maybe, so I think.
Speaker 5 (53:05):
Maybe so you're saying basically like they will last longer
if they're either old or poor.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
Yeah, because I feel like, oh, they gonna they're gonna
go pull it out to the end because I meet
each other and then, like we talked about earlier, out
of necessity, they stayed together lasted longer, you know what
I'm saying, than they do today. So that's kind of like,
in a way, it's kind of true.
Speaker 1 (53:26):
But like, and my thing is, you don't need to
qualify no statement with me, you know what I'm saying,
because my truth ain't everybody else's right for sure. What
I'm saying, like, and the reality of that statement is that, yeah,
a lot of people stay together, you know, out of necessity,
(53:47):
out of survival. My uncle was like, hey, cheating is
a rich man's game. I just can't afford to do it.
You don't have no different feelings from any other, you
know what I'm saying, Like, but I ain't in that
text breaking like, all right, I'm gonna deal with her,
you know, and so and so, But but yeah, I
(54:12):
mean there's I don't know, some old people be like,
oh baby, I'm cool by myself. I don't need it.
My grandmother is like, I don't want nobody in my space.
Speaker 4 (54:20):
Yeah they used to, law, Yeah, you're so used to.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
But but I get the I get the part that
some people have that fear of not having companionship later
in life, and then the other people just kind of
need somebody to make it through life, you know, Whereas
when you're rich, stuff changes.
Speaker 4 (54:41):
Yeah, plastic, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1 (54:44):
So but but if if you're a person that's like
aware of the effects that that has on you, then
you still admire partnership in a way that's like I
still want to build something sustainable. I don't want to
be everywhere. And that's a big part of why even
meeting somebody after being famous, I chose marriage, you know
(55:04):
what I'm saying. You know, fame happened fast for me.
So it's like all of the adjustments that people make
if they kind of climb to fame, I had to
make it right away, and it was like I don't
So it wasn't out of fear, but I was very
aware that It's like even Tasha Smith is my big sis.
(55:25):
You know, she's amazing. But she said, now, just know
that whatever can destroy you is going to be immediately
available to you. Anything that can destroy you with fame
is going to be immediately available to you. If you
have a tendency to do drugs, Rold, drugs ain't never
going to be so available if you love women, right,
(55:48):
And I say women, but I wanted to say a
different word, because when you take away the character from
a woman, in some people opinion, they become something derogatory.
And I believe in the existence of a type of
woman that's extremely dangerous, to the point where the Bible
talks about if the Bible was written in if the
Bible was written in rap language, it'll be like these holes,
(56:10):
you know what I'm saying, Like literally, if Proverbs would
say these holes four five, twenty times, if it's written
in rap language, right, it will be warning you, and
it specifically as it relates to men of a certain status,
same public, you know. But if whatever your vice is
(56:31):
is immediately available to you. And so I chose this
life partially because I wanted to be the best version
of myself, you know, not even knowing all that it
didn't tell and all the work I would have to do,
and super not knowing what we go through. Like we've
been through stuff that I would rather not but hey
(56:52):
we made it.
Speaker 4 (56:53):
Wow. How long have you and your wife been together?
Speaker 1 (56:57):
Together? For five years and.
Speaker 5 (57:00):
Married for Okay, you got married quick. So let me
ask you this question. Do you feel like a lot
of there's like a this is on the airnet all
the time they say that men know very quickly if
this woman would be their wife or not. Is that
was that true for you? I know you can't speak
for the majority of men, but was that truth for you?
Speaker 1 (57:20):
Let's start here. I wouldn't. I would recommend to anybody
to spend time. Yeah, more than I did. You know
what I'm saying. There are things that I went through
as a married man that I would much rather go
through in boyfriend girlfriend stamm So Pierce, it's a bar.
Speaker 3 (57:36):
Well, well, maybe some of those things would have separated
you too.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (57:41):
Maybe you know what I'm saying. That's real.
Speaker 3 (57:44):
If you go through them and a boyfriend girlfriend stage,
you're more likely to in some cases to split then
when you go through them, because like when you married,
you more likely to stay together because like you like,
because once you get married, that's a different type of commitment.
Speaker 1 (57:58):
Bro, It's a contrace. Yeah, and that's why the whole
separate conversation. That's kind of what I wanted to talk
about when you said it's for poor people and old people.
It's like we don't talk about marriage is not just
a commitment in the sense that you look at somebody
in and decide this is the contract. It's legal. Anything
that you sign, the courts can get involved with and
(58:21):
tell you how to live a portion of your life.
That's why rich niggas should I would have said, should
be more careful than you know what I'm saying, because
it's there are real implications on what it is.
Speaker 2 (58:37):
Look like my thing is too, this is the thing.
Speaker 3 (58:41):
I've been there, Like you step to an altar in
front of whoever, and who's gonna give you your vals?
Like when you utter the words for better or for worse,
like you uttered those words like, let's see what they
really mean.
Speaker 2 (58:56):
That's the reason.
Speaker 3 (58:57):
Those words are said because they know that when you
do this, that's gonna get tested for sure. You know
what I'm saying in the boyfriend girlfriend's stage, that's not
those words ain't been said. Yeah, so now when these
words get said, you gonna And I did say for
this right right, you know what I'm saying. But I
got for richer, you know. So it's a different meaning.
(59:20):
So you would have to put up more when you
cross that line.
Speaker 5 (59:23):
But I do think that a lot of people's problems
is they look for marriage as commitment and instead of
having that bond and that commitment without the paperwork. To me,
marriage is a governmental contract. These people are now in
my business, and now you know, if anything happens to you,
I have a say, I can do certain things, I
can move in a certain way, like I'm not even
against a prenup. But what I would say is we
(59:45):
look for a lot of women, not men, look for
marriage as now we're committed. But I'm not going to
go to an alter in front of a bunch of
people and sign governmental paperwork to be committed to you.
I'm already committed to you without that. The thing to
get married is just so that if I need to
handle something with you or you need to handle something
with me, people know what's up, right, And that's how
(01:00:06):
I look at that portion of marriage where a lot
of people don't.
Speaker 4 (01:00:10):
And Paul said the other day that.
Speaker 5 (01:00:11):
People do women specifically, they married for a status because
it makes you seem like you're more important as a
woman now that you're married.
Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
My ex told me, I thought you was gonna make
an honest woman out of me, And it was this
is somebody who I respected, who I felt like, who
did years with me with no contract, you know what
I'm saying, but at a time where I was nowhere
near mature enough to do the job. Yeah, nowhere near Yeah,
and so and so you're right that there's there's a
(01:00:43):
different like it's a huge gift that you can give
a woman. Yeah, as it relates to like what it
does to her womanhood for sure, And so yeah, because
it's it does into a great women who still you know,
don't know what it's like to be in that position
(01:01:06):
or know, and it didn't work and then still want
to get back to that set.
Speaker 4 (01:01:09):
So for sure, it's the status for a woman.
Speaker 5 (01:01:12):
But you have to find a woman or a man
that doesn't just want to have a husband, but they
want to be.
Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
A wife and to you, yeah, to you specifically, And
so I would still, yeah, I would go I would
recommend that people. Yeah, I feel like they already got
those muscles exercised before they jump into it, because you know,
the title ain't gonna save you.
Speaker 4 (01:01:37):
I always say.
Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
That title won't save you from the world.
Speaker 4 (01:01:39):
Want marriage won't save you, and a baby won't save you.
It'll make it worse.
Speaker 5 (01:01:45):
You gotta be fit for war once you go into
any of those realms.
Speaker 4 (01:01:49):
So I think a lot of women to learn that.
Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
But that's been great.
Speaker 4 (01:01:53):
Yeah, you drop channels today.
Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
I really, I really learned something that I hope that
you know, the more and more people that watch our podcasts.
You know, like women got some gems today, for sure,
Like the fellas. I always give them gyms, but today
because it's too lopsided, but the women's got.
Speaker 4 (01:02:13):
Some real men did too, though.
Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
Men definitely got some game.
Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
Yeah, men, I feel like women got something to appreciate
with a lot of the words you spent today. Yeah,
and so, man, this has been an honor and the
blessing to just hear your your words of wisdom, your relationship,
being in the rap game, doing what you're doing, uh,
being from Englewood.
Speaker 5 (01:02:34):
Exactly, it's only right, exactly. And you've always given such
a wise energy, like for sure. You you come off
as a very wise man, and I always appreciate the
vulnerability when a black man could come on our platform
and be vulnerable, because you won't understand the impact that
that has on other both men and women, you know,
to hear that, to hear your honesty and your words, like,
(01:02:58):
I'll always commend you for that.
Speaker 4 (01:02:59):
So thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
So again, what tell the people going?
Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
Yeah, my my album Wake Up Souper comes out August
twenty sixth. I'm on tour October twenty eighth. My first
date is in Vancouver. I'm in LA.
Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
Definitely pulling up and we.
Speaker 1 (01:03:24):
Hit in eighteen cities in the States. Mayor of Kingstown
comes out November twenty sixth. I played Rafayel on that.
Incredible actors like Jeremy rennerd Toby baumb Tefa Patrick k Patrick,
Dinny Love my brothers and so the car. You know,
(01:03:46):
it's just it's a lot of things happening. You know,
I might try out, you know, to play for the Lakers.
You know, I love it, you know now. But it's
a lot of beautiful things going on. We dropping the music,
it's some of the best music you're gonna.
Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
Hear this year.
Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
I guarantee it, So y'all be on the lookout. And
you know, I just did a deal with with dea
Ro so big shout out to Uncle Snoop. You know
we did a partnership. You know, it's a No. Three
sixty deal. Ain't nothing crazy. Snoop did legitimate business with
the with the kid and and it's it's super behind
what we're doing. So I'm excited about that. So a
(01:04:27):
lot of lovely things you ll man.
Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
Make sure y'all check out my man from the Wood.
He smoked smoke my brother.
Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
Oh yeah. Looking forward to the big things with you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:39):
And you know we're gonna be at the Wood High
School games like we was.
Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (01:04:46):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
Sorry, thank you for having me.
Speaker 5 (01:04:48):
Of course, a good thing you as well. I really
appreciate you coming through and it's only right. And you
dropped so many jazz. Yeah, so like I'm learning, I'm
taking it all in and I'm still just absorbing.
Speaker 4 (01:05:00):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
And these are these are insights from the field. Yeah,
it's like a boxer with his hand raised. He got
the bruises and all that. You know what I'm saying.
So It's like it's like it's so fresh on my
mind that it's getting that. You know what I'm saying, authentic,
no pet like, like I said, ain't no pedestal that
I'm preaching from. It's this is like how I'm navigating.
(01:05:22):
That's why I can articulate it so well because I
got to say it to myself.
Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
That's just to take the pressure off of people feeling
like they got to know everything I don't. But this
is what I'm using now.
Speaker 5 (01:05:34):
But thank you for that, because so many people, especially
podcasts these days, men come on there like you should
be doing if you're not, like you come with such
a humble like vibe and energy and you're a successful
man like and you're coming with that and you're still
learning and that I really respect, like from a deep place,
and I expect nothing less from you because I know
(01:05:55):
you're an incredible person.
Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
So thank you again.
Speaker 5 (01:05:58):
Make sure you guys are following him tapped in frequency.
Speaker 4 (01:06:01):
You know what I mean. Check that out. I love
Lucky Dave. I love your music. So that song is.
Speaker 5 (01:06:06):
Cracking and featuring Larussell and Sari oh yeah yeah, and
I love both of them. So yeah, make sure you
guys are following d Smoke will put all the information
that he mentioned below. Thank you guys for tuning in
to another episode of the Truth after Dark.
Speaker 4 (01:06:23):
We love y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
Y'all is taking over the game, all right, everybody, welcome
(01:06:52):
to Truth after Dark.
Speaker 4 (01:06:54):
Do you think that men or women are more toxic
I like to tell people Inglewood is a hood. It
is not a ghetto. There are some elements of Inglewood
that's like paradise. You sometimes you walk outside of Inglewood
breathe in the air, you'd be like, oh, you know,
it's like it got a little bit of that Rancho
Kuckamonga to it in the sense that it's more green grass.
It's more you know, it's million dollar houses and has
(00:21):
been for a long time, but it's still that element,
whereas the wild wild West. So on one hand, you're
so proud to be from this section of la and
on the other hand, it's still matures you and tests
you in ways that make you a different breed. So competitively,
like you know, it's better than anything you could come
(00:41):
to Inglewood. If you rise to the top within the city,
you can make it anywhere. And that's what jay Z
said about Brooklyn. If you the top, the top guy
in Inglewood, you got it because they they there. The
talent is there. You know what I'm saying. It's some
of everything, but it will test you and it'll bless you.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Taking over the game, all.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Right, everybody, welcome to Truth after Dark do.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
You think that men or women are more toxic?
Speaker 5 (01:39):
Hello, beautiful people, Welcome to another episode of the Truth
After Dark.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
I'm your host, Zar Faraday.
Speaker 5 (01:46):
Of course, we have Paul Pierce, and tonight we have
a man who embodies more than just music. He's an educator,
a lyricist, a husband, and a voice for the culture
from Inglewood to the Grammys. You know him from his
raw truth and unmatched pen game. His brand new single
Frequency with Lucky Davis out right now. His album Wake
(02:08):
Up Super drops on August twenty six, and come October
he's hitting the road on tour. You'll also catch him
this fall on season three of Mayor of Kingstown. He's
doing it all. Please welcome d Smoke in the building going.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Now I'm tripping. I'm tripping. I'm tripping. It why.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
You don't But it's perfect time, you know what I'm saying.
This is the time for me to thank you for
having me. This is sometimes I'm you know, secluded in
my space being creative, and now that I'm back outside,
I get to hang with the Hammie. Know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I love that. So before we get started, question.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, all black with white and I got to scuffed one,
so you know it's real love.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
That I love it.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
So before we get into it, I have a question
for you. If God sent you a text message right now,
what would it say, say?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Wake up super okay?
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Why would say that?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Because only God knows the ways that I can like
do better. I know God knows, and he knows I
want to do better From a lot of people's standpoint,
I told somebody like fame is like everybody judging you
based on your last stuff and your best stuff, unless
(03:46):
unless your last thing was like, uh, a pr nightmare
or something messed up, you know. But for me famous,
like you know, I mean, I ain't gonna even ask famous,
Like it's like the last time they saw you on television,
they forget that life has happened since then, you know
what I'm saying. So I like to show up hoping
(04:08):
that I'm not a shell of myself, Like if I
hope my yesterday was good enough to show up feeling
like the d smoke that people are used to seeing
on their screen, you know what I'm saying. Sometimes it
be bad days and they'd be like, oh my God,
Like I don't know if I got the energy for it.
So but but yeah, God would say, you know, wake
Up Super put things back in perspective.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
You know, So that's kind of the name of your album.
So is your album tying into that at all? Like,
what is that album name representing for you?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yes, wake Up Super is me narrating an experience of
enlightenment for myself. And it's it's enlightenment for lovers and gangsters.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
I love that lovers and gangs, lovers.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
And gangsters, and not not love in a narrow sense
like romance love. It's just people who are passionate and
honest and genuine.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
And so.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Wake Up Super has multiple kind of phases and that
you know, you can't wake up unless you was one sleep.
So the early part is the unconscious walking through Inglewood,
talking your shit, like, dealing with your nightmares and your
dark side and having fun and just like. And then
as it progresses it becomes more of a thoughtful body
of work with like and all throughout it is live instruments, instrumentation,
(05:29):
it's lyricism, it's uh just dope beats, you know what
I'm saying, Moments where you could move to two step
two backyard music. And so I'm super proud of this
body of work. Bro like on the project. Some of
the features we got, we got we got Lucky Day,
of course, one of my favorite songs. Frequency, we got
(05:50):
uh you know, we got Snoop Dogg and Na nine
on the same song. That's song it's called Biscuits. You know.
We got bj the Chicago Kid, my brother, great p
J Morton, Tiffany, and we got the Russell you know
from the Bay, and we got Miles Minnick. You know.
So it's it's just one of those one of those
(06:11):
bodies of work that to me, if if I had
to compare this to another project, this is my Equimini.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Equimini. So Outcast you got, you got, I mean out cast.
You you got Southern Playlistic Cadillac Music for Outcasts. Then
you got at Aliens for Outcasts, and you got Aquimini,
which is their third album.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Which he knows about it.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Just Equimini is the one that has uh Rosa Parks
on there.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I was in Kansas when I learned about uh Outcast.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
You know, I was a West Coast when I went
to Kansas. Then, you know, I have some teammates from
the South all that that's what I started getting on
like all the South.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
So that's okay.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Oh I got I got a quick question like.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Damn you you were spending so much game, but like,
what what does the like.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Like just coming from the city of Inglewood.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
You know what I'm saying, because when I watched the
it was a Netflix show you did with Snoop.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
He was like, you know where you're from, Homie? It
was like Inglewood? Like how you how do you like?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Because I'm gonna say for me when I leave. When
I first left LA and I went to Kansas and
then went to Boston and it was like, oh, you're
from Cali.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
From LA, I was like, I'm.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
From Inglewood period period.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
Tell people how it's just different being from the Wood
and how you hold that on your chest like moving
around like for real, Like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
People don't understand.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
It's almost like a it's on world, it's own thing,
like like talk about.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
That Inglewood would I like to tell people Inglewood is
a hood. It is not a ghetto. There are some
elements of Inglewood that's like paradise. You sometimes you walk
outside of Inglewood breathe in the air. You be like, oh,
you know, it's like it got a little bit of
that Rancho Kuckamonga to it in the sense that it's
more green grass, it's more you know, it's million dollar
(08:20):
houses and has been for a long time, but it's
still that element where it's the wild, wild West. So
on one hand, you're so proud to be from this
section of la And on the other hand.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
It's still matures you and tests you in ways that
make you a different breed, so competitively, like you know,
it's better than anything you could come to Inglewood.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
If you rise to the top within the city, you
can make it anywhere. And that's what jay Z said
about Brooklyn. If you the top, the top guy in Inglewood,
you got it because they they there. The talent is there.
You know what I'm saying, it's some of everything. But
it will test you and it'll bless you. You know
I'm saying, you.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Know, because I see you you proud of it. Oh
for sure, I'm proud of it. Sure like im you
made us.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That just made us proud and we had to be like,
all right, he on Boston. But that's hard dog, right,
you know.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I just I just came back from the reunion. You know,
I stepped in there. I was by myself, Like I
could go to the Wood, I could go to Cela Park.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
What you was in the park doing with the Inglewood reunion?
Because I saw the Mine Side one.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, that was that Saturday. So the Inglewood reunion was
that the week before.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
It's a thirty year yeah, but it was all the classes.
When it was all the classes that right, I was like,
let me step up in here. Already know I caught
these buses. I was down Manchester Chrishaw.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I was walking.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I was on Working Street. Come on, now, you can't
tell me I can't walk through the wood, right, you
know what I'm saying, no security when I'm over.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Like twenty None of that to you, because to you,
it's like, man, I just want to feel Inglewood again.
That's where I come from. To them, it's like, oh,
he showed up. You know what I'm saying forgiving people that,
because when we show up, they like that. They already
proud whether we there or not. But it was like, yeah,
(10:20):
we are Inglewood is us because ultimately they had something
to do with us rising to the top in a
real way. The gangsters would step in and not let
me catch them face that I was ready to catch.
People would be like, no, you not that, and I'm
sure you know that. They was like, no, bro, you
got a future in that. Let us do this. You
(10:43):
do that? Like Inglewood is special, bro right right, And
I'm sure like other hoods have that element too, But
I don't think everybody can speak to that same thing
where it's like even if not the lowest, but the
most gangster, the darkest people with the darkest experience know
something no especial one when they see it in it
(11:04):
and will help push them to the top, like that's
the truth. Nobody handed me a gun. It's like, nah,
we got this.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
So And I think it's a certain level of like
humbleness that people have that come from Inglewood or even
Snoop come from Long Beach.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
I'm from Long Beach.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
You know, it's a certain Yeah, it's a certain level
of humbleness that I see from Paul and even you.
So I think that's super dope that you guys can
still show up for your community in that way and
still represent for sure. So I'm gonna switch gears a
little bit because we are a Relationship podcast is the
Truth After Dark.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Let's go.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
So you are a married man, which I commend you for.
So how does it feel, especially being in a generation
and an industry that is so against commitment at this time?
You know, everyone has this gender war going on. It
seems like men and women just can't get it right.
Where do you stand and what does that? What has
(12:02):
this taught you about love?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Just being married?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Well, I'm gonna start from knocking myself off any pedestal
that anybody could put me on. Like me and my wife,
we have a beautiful relationship, but we have to go
through counseling and learn how to do it all the time.
And part of something that we learned in counseling was
it's this continuous cycle of connection, break and repair. Like
(12:31):
it's a it's NonStop expected. Don't don't get to one
stage and be like, don't get to one stage and
be like, be mad that that's happening. No expected. So
if you expect each stage, then it's like you can
choose in the same way that you expect somebody to
play defense when you on offense. So you choose to
(12:51):
be bothered by they little checks and if they reach football,
like I've seen it like a little push on the posts.
You ain't even worried about it even wow, you ignore it,
you know, So that that was something that put it
in perspective recently because we've seen each stage multiple times.
And then when they said that, it's like duh, right,
but before you have the before you have the vocabulary
(13:14):
to navigate it like calmly. Right, once you put give
a title to it and a name to it, then
you could be like, I know what this is, all right,
let me approach it from this perspective rather than being like, man,
what's happening? No, we know what's happening. This is a
repair stage. And because I've identified it as such, I
(13:35):
know how to address it with calmly you know what
I'm saying. Because you could it can shorten that gap
between break and repair. The better you are at repairing,
you know what tools to you know your tool bag
is big, you know which one applies to what problem.
Then you could be like connection, you know what I'm saying.
(13:56):
We want to stay in connection like, and niggas don't
want to be in like connection break bright a pair
of repair repair connection break. No, you want to be
a connection. Okay, repair connection, you know what I'm saying.
You want it to be like a longer part of
the wheel, you know, but that's a cycle, and you know,
(14:20):
you know, perhaps later we could talk about all the
stuff we've been through, because it's like it's break. Sometimes
feels like a break unto death. It feels like it
feels fatal and final, you know what I'm saying, Because
you know, when you talk about commitment, you're talking about
all of a person and their worst. Like you got
(14:42):
to see their worst and accept that, and their worst
is big, flawed And the cold part is they will
do stuff that you will wrongfully take personally wrongfully. People
don't do stuff because of you. It's what's happening in
them that they gotta still navigate why they wish you.
(15:02):
I've made major mistakes, you know what I'm saying, major
mistakes and so so and she's had to deal with that,
and she's had to choose me after that and vice versa.
You know. So that's the part where uh where people
kind of have and me included. I chose this, but
(15:24):
I didn't know what I was getting into. It's like
they said, a marriages like jumping into uh, Whitewater rapids,
and I know where that thing is going and you
gotta navigate it, you know so. But better than the
initial feeling that got you wined is re earning that
connection time, you know what I'm saying, and knowing that
(15:46):
you have the tools to do that again, you know so,
And we still we still navigating. It's like ongoing. It's
a conversation. It's a NonStop conversation.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Now, I was in a relationship, married for thirteen years,
and I got some advice for you that I didn't
take and so, and this goes along with any thing
that lasted a long time. So I just feel like
in rap or basketball, you gotta do the history and
(16:21):
see like damn, let me look at the cats who
lasted long and hoops, let me see why he was great,
you know what I'm saying. So like in a marriage,
let me talk to my grandma or something like, how
was y'all together for forty years? Like and when they
start telling you, oh, it wasn't smooth, but we don't
go back and talk to them.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And it has two parts to that conversation. How did
y'all make it that you want? You want to ask
two specific questions like what did you do to make it?
What have you gone through? So I'm not as up
with exactly. They'd be like, baby, he left for three
years and I had to wait for the other dads
to go back. And you'd be like, oh dad, grandma, Yeah,
(17:03):
you'd be like, you know, I got a family who
got uh got children younger than their uh wife's youngest
child if you do the math, you know what I'm saying.
And so but they're together, you know what I'm saying,
she's like that stuff. Wouldn't do it.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Like you know, no, I never said would Yeah I'm kidding, yeah, no, no, no,
I know.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
But so, like this is what I learned that one
of the barbecues. UH just talked to my uncle, Like
my grandma had like seven kids, like seven eight kids.
It was like four boys for her. But I learned like,
so I'm looking at my uncles. You know, a couple
of uncles don't look like the rest of the family.
But they in the middle of you know what I'm saying,
(17:52):
like they okay, you got the one, the two, but
the third one don't look like then the fourth look
like then.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
It was like Puerto Ricans in the middle. So then I.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Asked my uncle. He was like, yeah, you know, we
ain't got the same fathers. But then there was another
one that happened after them, but with the same father
as the other one that I was in front of them.
I was like, damn, So they really went through something,
but they stayed together. That was real love back then,
like you have a whole other kid, and y'all stay together,
(18:22):
and y'all stayl in the same house. And that I
was like, damn, when you really learn from the old
school and you really have conversations, and this is in
any field work, sports career, like you know, for me
to be great and hoop, I had to go back
and look at the tapes I talked to the greats.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
What made you great? You know, you go through some stuff.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
So I have a question though, and this is me
like being completely biased.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
I just I just have a question.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Do you believe that they stayed together because it was
real love or did they stay together because women didn't
have the same opportunities that they have now. Because I
feel like a lot of women stayed with their man
because they couldn't work, They didn't have jobs, they didn't
have the same access to resources, money, opportunity. So I
feel like a lot of women were like, I have
to stay with this, maith. He takes care of my
(19:10):
whole entire life. There's not much I can do here,
and I can't have much of a voice. Where we
created a society now where women feel like they can
be more vocal, they can have a voice, even me,
a woman on a platform with Paul Pierce, you know,
I'm able to talk and have a voice, which is
very different from back in the day.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Oh, I mean, for sure, there are cases where you know,
they stay together out of an arrangement that their lives
depended on. Right if one is working and the other
one is completely dependent, then it's like, look, I can't
necessarily just leave. But you have the reverse of that
as well, two people. It's like this is a two
(19:50):
income household, and one income don't cut it in today's
where like, yeah, you know, we're fortunate to be like okay,
we live and where we want to live and have
luxuries and stuff. But the reality, like I try not
to be too disconnected from other people's reality. The reality
is that in a lot of places, and this happened
started happening early, that it started being harder, especially for
(20:13):
black people, for a black man to get an income
than his woman, you know. And that's that's something that
can be traced back to, like it was like a
tactic to combat the civil rights movement, like Okay, let's
start employing the women more to take this man figure
or at least the respect for him out of the
(20:35):
house in the same way, you know what I'm saying.
You know, we black women can get employed. Now when
you talk about equal pay and all that stuff, that's
a whole different conversation that's not always fair, but in
just terms of creating an income, so they can start
to feel justified in the like, oh, I can do
this by myself feeling right, which completely negates what it
(20:57):
means to have a male presence in a young child life. Yeah,
that was that was something that came into play and
and you know, so it's from it happened on both
in both ways. You got a man that's like might
be leaving because he no longer feels like a man,
or you got them staying together because he kind of
(21:17):
relies on her too. Like and uh, Tabitha what's her
last name.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Mac Brown or Tabitha Brown Brown?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yes, incredible, beautiful soul. Her has a model marriage, and
her family is like in so many ways of inspiration
to so many, But I love her degree of honesty.
Tabitha Brown and her husband sat up and I watched
him with live audience. Chance yes, and they were like,
they were like, look, bro, there was a time where
(21:49):
us relying on each other and each other's income and
and just our circumstances kept us together. If we could have.
There was a time where where both of them say, like,
if we could have or to split, we was cool
on each other. You know what I'm saying, Thank God,
we're good. We made it.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
And they're such a great couple too.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yeah, I say that it's actually liberating. Yeah, okay, cool.
So sometimes we just hard on ourselves, you know, but
what what how do you? Somebody said, youse, somebody that
suffer as well? How do you? How do you suffer?
You know what I'm saying. Do you pacify? You know
what I'm saying. Do you need somebody else? You know
(22:28):
what I'm saying, give me chills?
Speaker 4 (22:30):
Do you need somebody?
Speaker 1 (22:31):
You need somebody? Wow?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
So do you smoke weed?
Speaker 4 (22:37):
You smoke weed? Are you high right now?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I have a question too, going into everything you said
in your spitting cars. By the way, do you feel
like today in this generation is this something Paul and
I spoke on before that a lot of people have
a false idea of like options because of social media
the days the wife left the swife, right, And does
that make it harder do you think in your opinion
(23:05):
to have a commitment in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
It's interesting because I try to put myself in the
mindset back when I was a teacher, right, I was
a school teacher. Then I tat that I taught at
Westchester for a year, I taught at View Park across
the street from Nipsey's shop, and then I taught at
Hawkins and then this school called High School for Recording Arts.
(23:32):
But I try to put myself back there because even
though I was confident then everything required a certain degree
of work. You had to earn somebody's respect admiration. And
even if I'm out and I got my best fit on,
they still got to see who I am and what
I'm about to give me a shot. And so the
reason I got to put myself back there is because
(23:54):
with fame that's not the case and not that not
that any option is necessarily an eye for something sustainable
or something that something that could really be compatible. But
it's a it's for certainly an option for distraction. It's
certainly an option for pacification, if nothing else, if nothing else,
(24:18):
if a nigga don't want to feel bad, and this
is this is something I don't mind my wife hearing,
because it's the reality.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Fame.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Fame puts a nigga in unrealistic circumstances. It's nothing. A
man is a hunter. We're naturally like, I am built
to pursue. I like the chase. Actually, so for somebody
built to chase, how awkward and how out of line
withal principles or natural laws? Is it that the chase
(24:48):
is happening in reverse to somebody who's naturally offensive. I'm
being pursued based on some shit I did years ago
that got me fame. And I'm a na true aggressor,
like you know, So the discipline, the need for discipline
becomes ridiculous. And you can exercise discipline for ten days
(25:11):
straight be weak, one hundred days straight and be weak,
and then the devil throw at you. Your favorite is
you know what I'm saying like.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
It's the devil that's your best ice cream?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Right, you know what I'm saying. This is with butter
put can top, you know what I'm saying, and so
and and for for me personally and this these are
things that my wife knows about me, like I'm not
big on like uh, I'm not. I'm not an over
(25:48):
sexual person, right. Me and my wife have a very
healthy relationship. Baby, baby, how you do all right? All right?
We know how to do our stuff. Baby, Good to
see you. I'm gonna see you later. But when it
comes to energy and encouragement and words of affirmation and
(26:10):
and connection, when people see see when people are observant
enough to see read between the lines and be like hey,
I notice boom, then the flattery is more than just flattery.
It's like damn, you know, those are the parts of
me that people I've often miss, you know. And so
(26:31):
it's the exchange of energy that for me is like
the guilty pleasure. It's not even like, oh, I'm trying
to be caught somewhere doing something like it ain't that's
that's booth, you know. But it's just like I gotta
be careful when somebody's like Dan he's speaking my language
because I just want to talk. I want to talk
that because not everybody speaks the same language. When there's
(26:53):
a disconnect at home, sometimes the repair stage is a
whole different work than action, you know what I'm saying.
So so it's it's a it's a work of discipline,
it's you know, sometimes it's just yeah, it's just discipline
is the best tool for giving yourself a fighting chance
(27:13):
at protecting something.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
You sounded like you were like, that sounded like mental stimulation. Yes,
that that that that that's the.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Connection mental stimulation more than when you got posativity to
you know what I'm saying. My thing is when somebody
is extremely present and observant, then it's there's one thing
to be like I need this, and somebody like, okay,
I'll do that. There's a whole other thing to be like,
I see this need in you and you be like,
(27:43):
oh my god, I didn't know I had that, you
know what I'm saying, and be like a matter of fact,
let me do this before I even see this needed,
let me do this. That That's what I often anticipating
The needs is something that can only be accomplished by
presence and connection and observation. The connection is a is
(28:05):
a result of anticipattion. You know, you gotta.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Because y'all need to hear this right here.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
So yeah, because that's real. And someone asked me, he
thinks he did, like what do I bring to the table?
And my exact response was, I will anticipate your needs.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Gangster response. I can't think of it. I can't think
of a better quality because you cannot do that without
being present, you know what I'm saying. And Paul says
some off camera the board moments, the quiet moments, they're
the best one. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Because
and so I think in addition to like the cycle
(28:49):
we talked about repair, I mean connection break and repair
men have their own like cycle that they go through.
Of ex like, we're built to strive to go pursue something,
whether it be you pursuing your woman or you're pursuing
this dream that pushes you to your limits. Right Like
(29:12):
Paul has shot more jump shots than some people have
eaten meals in their life. You know, I mean certainly,
because certainly you can only eat three meals a day.
My man can put up a doubt, you know what,
I'm saying thousand shots today, you know what I'm saying.
So so in that cycle of trying to better yourself
(29:34):
to that extent, not just better yourself, surpass the competition,
both that cycle and the cycle of you know, trying
to be a good person at the same time or
pursuing love, there comes this need for like recuperation, and
women are super drawn to the guys who have that
drive because I think it's I think it's instinctive. Like
(29:57):
a dude who has that drive typically amounts to a
certain degree of safety, amounts to the possibility of a
happier life for a woman, and options and all that stuff. However,
you know, that question of what do you bring to
the table is one that reminds us that there are
(30:19):
needs for that particular type of man that are very
different from the dude who's playing video games, you know
what I'm saying, and all day not to not video games,
but the man who's out there putting it on the
line is a different level. He might show up a
different level of exhausted mentally in his soul. And this
(30:39):
is from experience. I've been like I'm depleted, you know,
I have disciplined I'm super disciplined. How the hell did
I get here? You know what I'm saying, I got
mad discipline. But discipline is one of those qualities that's
super easy to exercise when you when you charged up
(31:00):
and you deplete it. Sometimes it be the moments the
devil know what he's doing. You know what I'm saying.
So that's why you want somebody that's that's president and
observing to be like because that crashing board, there's nothing
like that connection where it's like, come here, I got
you boy, nigga, just let it all go. And then
you know what I'm saying, You get, you get in love,
you getting a meal, you're getting words and and just
(31:22):
times quiet. I saw I saw a woman on a
podcast that was just honest that was like, look, man,
my first marriage failed because X, Y and Z and
sometimes I didn't know when to shut the fuck up.
And I would never tell a woman that, right, But
if she says it, and it's saying it to other women,
it's more of it's not so much to you not
(31:44):
having a voice. It's more so like knowing and having
a discernment to create a space where somebody could just
like let that off. At a at A at a
realistic pace, she space where silence there's nothing more attractive
than than comfortability and silence, you know what I'm saying.
(32:04):
My wife, we didn't have a hard past. Y'all lost
my mom. We had disagreements on how to deal with that.
Like imagine, it's like I'm trying to navigate this and
you see it us going about it a different way,
like that's that's difficult, you know. And so even recently,
you know, she she woke up in the morning, it
was like, I remember you like kissing me on my
(32:25):
cheek through you know, through during the night, you know,
you kiss me multiple times. Like she was like, I
was super sleepy, but I remember it and you know,
made me happy. Then she was like, like was she
trying to get it popping? I said no, and that
and me saying NA made her feel even sweeter about
like you just wanted to love and it was even laughed.
(32:46):
I told her, like, you just, you know, look so peaceful,
you know what I said. I like that, you know,
and so let's try to achieve that while you woke too,
you know, And that was my joke because it's like
it's like sometimes like you really connected. When when it
don't take nothing, and help me make it not to
(33:08):
take nothing, then I'll be creative on all to something.
But as soon as somebody's like, what can we like?
And you know, sometimes it'd be like we need whole
seasons or nothing because it is in that much. Imagine
being broke, like we not broke. Imagine being broke, and
even when we broke, we not broke. You know what
(33:30):
I'm saying. It's just like okay, okay, lick, it might
be love. If we come off something we up. I
don't want to come off nothing, you know what I'm saying. So,
but imagine imagine being broke together people don't. Sometimes they
make hard decisions and in doing so they get closer
and closer and closer becaus like, oh, we can't afford
(33:50):
to go to my wife just went to a family reunion. Right, Well,
what if we both as teachers and the bills were
just boo boo and we couldn't afford to go, we
would actually be creative on how to connect with the people. Oh,
I need somebody to FaceTime me when it's doing this.
I want to send messages listen this. You know, the
creativity comes out of necessity, you know what I'm saying.
(34:12):
And a lot of times we forget that we living
outside of the norm, you know what I'm saying. More
there are more people below the middle class line, far
more people below the middle class line than our social
circles we're used to. I'm used to hanging with Paul
Pierce's you know what I'm saying. Now, you know, now
(34:33):
this ain't I ain't. It ain't NBA money yet we
on the way, you know, but it's still socially, we
just got to remember that that that necessity, like people
making it out of necessity, like we referred to earlier
as real.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
Oh that's real, man, be a good one. Yeah, you
spoke a lot of bars and I knew you.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
This is what love looks like.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
Yeah, sure what it sounds like. There's hope there for
sure is.
Speaker 5 (34:59):
And I have a question because you seem extremely vulnerable
and open, and especially for a black man, that's tough,
you know what I mean? And how do you balance
being like a protector and a provider and a man
because man, like you mentioned earlier, animalistic by nature, you
guys are chasers, but also being vulnerable, like how do
(35:21):
you find that balance in your relationship.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Top of that, we taught as black men to grow
up tough.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
Yeah, like what you're looking at, Like.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
You know what I'm saying. So like now we're in
the world to where it's like damn, you know. Like
with my son, I'm like, man, it's cool to cry, Broye,
you know what I'm saying. Whereas me when I was
a kid, if I'm crying, I'm gonna get socked in
the chest.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Like toughing up. And so it's interesting because my wife
told me recently, like I feel like you. I feel
like you just going through the motions and it's racing,
you know, just to be transparent, like we're not out
of the thick albums. She just didn't one got a
(36:01):
new single on the way. There's plenty room for break
or disconnect. Where we got to repair, repair, repair, and
if I had to add them to that cycle, it's
endure like disconnect, break, endure, repair because the real work
(36:21):
takes you pausing stuff. Niggas don't have time to pause
all the time, so to endure is like like it's
almost like we don't mean to intentionally test our partner,
but we all do. Like where it's like like, no,
I'm I'm tired of being luxury husband. Like if I
(36:42):
wasn't me, like, would you still stick it through that?
I know what I had to go through to get here.
Me and my wife we met post fame too, So
there's a and I'm just being honest, there's a part
of me that's just like, man, I wish I wish
we had the lock in of you haven't helped the
nigga build this, But that's not the case. So if ever,
(37:05):
if ever, the way in which I'm trying to protect
the marriage requires too much energy to where I feel
like the balance is tilted against me having to do
what I got to do to maintain his life. I'm
gonna expect you to endure. And so the reason she
said that to me is because I've been in that
mold with an album coming out and then roll out mode.
(37:25):
And it's like I told her earlier this year, like
my goal is to show up for myself more. And
that's usually women saying and like I've been lost in
wifehood and I just want to do some things me No,
like when I come from a father who super present
for us, for my mom but never and He's an
(37:46):
incredible father, but never built his own empire. Who's had
great jobs, He's shown up for people, he supported in
ways that people forever appreciate him. But my dad used
to make barbecue sauce. Part of his dream was toll.
He wanted to be sweet baby Ray. Like he had
(38:06):
an limousine company. He had one car. He wanted to
build his clientele, put another one on the road, pit
a third, and then have a fleet. Stay one car,
you know what I'm saying. But he also would pick
us up. He would do whatever it took, you know.
But but so I had to get mentors to teach
me how to build my empire. I had to feel
(38:29):
those voice like my father couldn't help me achieve my goals.
He can help me be a brilliant person, you know,
he can help me be a loving, caring, honest, humble person.
But when it gets to the stage where it's like, oh,
I'm doing all this husband stuff, but the bar keeps raising,
Like the better I am, the more luxuries, more creative
(38:52):
my partner gets and being like oh can we do this? Now?
Can we do this? And it's like so then it's like, oh, now,
how about our reintroduce us to a phase where it's
like like, no, let's let's be more resourceful and creative. Also,
let's fast damn there, Let's act like we wasn't in
(39:14):
the position we was so that we could stay in
the position we in. You know what I'm saying, And
that's that could be both in terms of excessive affection.
It could be too much sex, like like, it's good
we're walking all the time, but it's my drive to bleeding.
Am I not stepping up in places like a dog?
I want to be you know what I'm saying, Like
(39:34):
especially stuff like this week I did, I did sway
in the morning, I did up Rocks, I did just
incredible last week. I dropped a couple videos in the
past month and and wrapped in front of other stuff
Like So when you're showing up and it's one thing
to put out a song where it's like this is
my music, it's another thing to be like we're seeing
(39:57):
if niggas still rap And I'm like, do you.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (40:01):
That's like catching phades, bro. It's like walking to the
back of the the back of the football field at Inglewood,
the railroad tracks exactly it's like, I ain't nobody even
gonna pull over here. It's just us circle of people.
And nowadays its phones out like it's documented. You get dropped,
(40:21):
it's viral, you know so. But but that's so the
energy you want to show up with, it's like it's different.
So they endure. It's not even necessarily a break. It's
just you got to endure phase where it's like it's
not even about very, it's not about it. That's about partnership.
(40:42):
Partnership is you have to have a partner going in
the war, like hold my hold my armored, come on bro.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Sometimes you need to put the battery.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
And then it'd be like, so my wife has this
thing and this is her growing to understand memore. It's like,
how can I help? What do you need? And once
you ask, you've already done a little bit of it,
like oh, showing up right. Then then it might be nothing.
But nothing doesn't mean go elsewhere. Nothing might just be
like just be right there right or this for this
(41:15):
phase like I got you like, and it could be
it could be finding when a nigga often is my
finest silent moments to handle some things so that things
are buttoned up and sealed. So then when they show up,
people is fully present with somebody that's like they're like, no,
let's do this. You know what I'm saying. So, but
(41:35):
that's that's the phase where she had to tell me
like like you ain't and I'm like, I know, And
I had to take them to be like and I
see everything you do. Let me let me scale back,
humble myself and be like, it hasn't gone unnoticed that
you've cooked a gang of meals and this and that
shit matters. You know, it hasn't gone to notice that
(41:57):
you've cleaned, that you've hopped up and been like, go
to the gym. I got the dogs, got two dogs,
no kids who taught us to do that. We got
a dog per person in the house that ain't cool,
like but but we love them their family members now,
you know. So I had to be like, you know,
I see you so so in the moment where you
(42:20):
saying like I feel like you you know I do
see you that you know that being said, you know,
it's season. It's a season, you know what I'm saying,
and still being willing to be like, look, I'll do
some of the work sometimes, like I think it's healthy
even mid mid season, mid pushed and grind season, to
(42:43):
wash some dishes like man let me. I even got
a line in the song like he delights in washing
dishes because my hand's getting cleaned in the process. Is
it for our fish to fathom this is in a
contest or like a journey when the Louise keep it
all within context. Even the broken clock is right twice
between the sunset to see the sunset. You know, it's
just like like perspective, like like so being willing to
(43:07):
be like, look, i might be in dog mode, but
you go rest I'm gonna handle this like different ways
to communicate, so that although they like because you know,
women are gonna be women. Yeah, And I had to
tell myself, I'm not gonna wait till my wife acts
like one of the homies to love her. She could
be a whole woman, be very different from me. And
(43:28):
I got to be like, all right, I still got
to show up.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
That's the part.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Because my assistant part of you, when you used to
having people around that share the same mind, you got
to remember like they also they don't have the responsibility
to love you romantic, so their feelings are so they
can be fully excuse me, they can be fully attentive
in different ways and their feelings ain't in it the
same way, so you know, whereas when they do it,
(43:53):
it's still like I need love, bro, you know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
I'm waiting.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
I want to I wanted to up for you. But
will you notice early enough to be like I see
you and it like cool? You know? So that's that's
our challenge, Like.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Oh yeah, that's tough because she had.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
To advocate for herself this time around, because it's like,
I'm a woman. Money trees is the perfect place for
shade like and that's just you help us get there.
We could do. It's not even measured in the good times.
I want them. I want more good times. I just
want safe, sustainable good times. There's an amount of good times.
There's no amount of money that can't be spent. Mm hmmm.
(44:32):
At my lion.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Sometimes we get lost in our work.
Speaker 5 (44:37):
But remembering you said something so key that a lot
of man lose sight of. Is that remembering that a
woman is a woman, Like I'm just a girl, so
I'm going to have emotions. I'm not going to be
as strong as you mentally, I'm not going to show up.
How you can show up. Just remember that because if
you want to be with a woman, I'm a woman,
and if I want to start acting masculine in this,
(44:57):
you're not gonna like that. So just love me for
me being a woman. I'm gonna love you for you
being you know what I mean. So that's really important.
I love that you said that because people lose sight
of that a lot.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
And mind you, I earned these insights. Yeah, dough mistakes,
you know. So if Nigga's like, man, I wish I
knew that, Hey, it takes time. It takes time, and
it takes being with somebody that's gonna give you another shot.
Because I gave my wife reason to leave before you
know what I'm saying, vice versa. We both had an
option to be like fuck this ship and to keep
(45:33):
it a buck. We've even probably said that at one
boy this ship. You know, fuck this ship and leaving
are two very different things. Like this shit like you
could just be like, I'm not working on this for
a couple of days. I'm going to leave it on
the table until we come back to we got the
energy to address.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
Or the endure comes door comes in wheat.
Speaker 4 (45:55):
That's that real.
Speaker 5 (45:56):
And I appreciate you saying that because I love how
you started speaking. You said, first of all, take me
off any pedestal that you had me on, because I'm married.
Like you, being real and honest and transparent is so
important because.
Speaker 4 (46:10):
Yeah, I mean, you know, you keep things for.
Speaker 5 (46:12):
Yourself, but at the same time, you know you you
The fact that you can be real like that is
so important for so many people because a lot of
people live in a fairy tale world, especially with Instagram,
where we show only the bags and the trips and
the flowers, and you forget to hear these real conversations.
You know, I come from a mother and father who's
still married fifty plus years, a sister twenty plus years,
(46:34):
so you know I've seen it and I know that
it's not a fairy tale.
Speaker 4 (46:37):
You have to do the work. So I appreciate you
saying that. That means a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Parents got divorced three times and remarried three times.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
Wow, that's crazy wild.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
That's why out of it it was. It was to
the point where the last time they got divorced or no,
the last time I got remarried, I was like, what
are y'all doing like you guys are obviously friends, you've
accomplished somebody being that y'all had the kids already. Just
stay friends, hang out. Like why do y'all both feel
(47:12):
the need to trap it? You know what I'm saying?
Like you did that? But they was like, I want
my husband back, I want my wife back.
Speaker 4 (47:20):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Yeah, get in the house and be like, oh, I
can't live with you.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
What would you say?
Speaker 5 (47:27):
That's one thing your wife has taught you about, like
being a better man.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
I mean that what I just said was probably the
most like, yeah, don't wait until she thinks like a
man to love her. And you can't wait until she
think like a man. Even that book think like a man.
It's just giving women tools to be like, try to
jump outside of that, like the way you see things
(47:53):
that understand us. Right men, I do not believe and
correct me if I'm wrong. I don't believe eve that
women are taught how to treat men right I think,
and I don't think men. I don't think men are
I don't think all men are good at treating women
how they should be treated. But we're still more aware
(48:14):
of how women are supposed to be treated, whether we
program whether we sign on to that or not. You're
supposed to treat a woman with respect. You to talk
to it this way to like some niggas be like
man look at it like but we're still more aware.
I think men are taught how to treat women and
women are taught how to be treated. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:32):
I said this on my last episode.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
You know what I hold up. We are men are
a specific thing. We are a creature. You know what
I'm saying, Like and so's it's worth putting more of
that into the conversation because it just raises awareness on
the part of the women, like like on how to
(48:55):
create balance?
Speaker 4 (48:57):
That's real? What do you think?
Speaker 5 (48:59):
And I'm coming with you back to back? But you
have so much knowledge? What is something that you feel
like you had to unlearn about love in order to
fully step into your marriage because we all are programmed
to learn something or see something.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
You I have to constantly unlearn that love is not
a feeling.
Speaker 4 (49:18):
We expand on that constantly.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
There's okay, one of my favorite books, you know, and
I was about to refer to the book Will by
Will Smith when he talks about Jada hating the pageantry
of love, not even wanting a merit a wedding, Like
I remember that. He was like Jada had the belief
back then that two people should be forced to run
a marathon together before they could even consider, you know,
(49:45):
choosing a lifetime together, you know. And so I was
going to refer to that early. But then the next
thing that I'm thinking of the book Seven Habits of
highly Affective to People. It just deals with tools in life.
And there was a chapter where where the the author,
Stephen Covey is Uh is talking to his friend and
(50:08):
his friend is like, bro, I don't know what to do.
I don't. I don't. I just don't feel like I
love my wife no more. Is the feeling is not there,
like like it's it's just I don't, I don't know
if I want this. And he's like, then love her.
He's like, but that's what I'm telling you, I just
don't feel like I love her no more. He's like, no,
then love her. Like earn the feeling with the action.
(50:31):
You know what I'm saying. It's like, choose to love her,
start to do for her, to express it, until she
gives you that feeling back. Because there's something in her
that can be revived to ignite you in the way
that y'all had been at one point. And and the
beauty of it is when you earn it back, it's
better than the the innocence because the initial is it's
(50:52):
all innocence, newness, freshness, you know, sparkle. You know what
I'm saying. Boy, it's more at the beginning, man, And
that too, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (51:02):
Like that love right there you're talking about when you
respark it, that's the real for sure.
Speaker 1 (51:06):
You've earned it like d and then you kind of
got to retrace the steps like, Okay, this is what happened,
is how we got Okay, cool, let's learn that process.
But but yeah, it's not a feeling. Love is not
a feeling. My mom said, love is a choice. Yeah,
you gotta do it all the time, choose them all
the time.
Speaker 5 (51:26):
That's a popular debate if love is a choice. And
you know my sister who's married, she's been married for
twenty something years and she always tells me, like, the
only difference between my husband and I and everybody else
is that we wake up and choose each other every day,
no matter the circumstances. We've made a choice, and her
husband always says, I will never leave her.
Speaker 4 (51:47):
It's a choice.
Speaker 5 (51:48):
No matter who I see women i'm around, I choose
her and she chooses me. And that's that's deep. So
I love that, I really do. So go ahead, you
have a question.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
I think we can.
Speaker 4 (52:04):
Oh you want to go into that? Okay? So okay, okay, Okay,
what time is it?
Speaker 2 (52:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (52:11):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (52:12):
So Paul has had so many viral clips and I
actually saw you comment on one of his clips yesterday
or something, and you was like, that's real nigga ship right, No, no, No,
what is RNs there for? Okay, that's what I interpreted,
But he has he has a few moments. So I
(52:34):
just want to get your perspective on some of the
things he said. I'm gonna I'm gonna hit you with
the first one because we've been talking about marriage this
whole time. He said that marriage is for This is
a long time ago. I don't know if he still
feels this way, but he did say that marriage is
for poor people and for old people.
Speaker 2 (52:49):
No, so let me try.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Like, because I didn't expand on it like I should
have when I said it, I think I said that
in a way, that's saying the longevity of it for
them lasts longer for those people. Maybe, so I think.
Speaker 5 (53:05):
Maybe so you're saying basically like they will last longer
if they're either old or poor.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
Yeah, because I feel like, oh, they gonna they're gonna
go pull it out to the end because I meet
each other and then, like we talked about earlier, out
of necessity, they stayed together lasted longer, you know what
I'm saying, than they do today. So that's kind of like,
in a way, it's kind of true.
Speaker 1 (53:26):
But like, and my thing is, you don't need to
qualify no statement with me, you know what I'm saying,
because my truth ain't everybody else's right for sure. What
I'm saying, like, and the reality of that statement is that, yeah,
a lot of people stay together, you know, out of necessity,
(53:47):
out of survival. My uncle was like, hey, cheating is
a rich man's game. I just can't afford to do it.
You don't have no different feelings from any other, you
know what I'm saying, Like, but I ain't in that
text breaking like, all right, I'm gonna deal with her,
you know, and so and so, But but yeah, I
(54:12):
mean there's I don't know, some old people be like,
oh baby, I'm cool by myself. I don't need it.
My grandmother is like, I don't want nobody in my space.
Speaker 4 (54:20):
Yeah they used to, law, Yeah, you're so used to.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
But but I get the I get the part that
some people have that fear of not having companionship later
in life, and then the other people just kind of
need somebody to make it through life, you know, Whereas
when you're rich, stuff changes.
Speaker 4 (54:41):
Yeah, plastic, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1 (54:44):
So but but if if you're a person that's like
aware of the effects that that has on you, then
you still admire partnership in a way that's like I
still want to build something sustainable. I don't want to
be everywhere. And that's a big part of why even
meeting somebody after being famous, I chose marriage, you know
(55:04):
what I'm saying. You know, fame happened fast for me.
So it's like all of the adjustments that people make
if they kind of climb to fame, I had to
make it right away, and it was like I don't
So it wasn't out of fear, but I was very
aware that It's like even Tasha Smith is my big sis.
(55:25):
You know, she's amazing. But she said, now, just know
that whatever can destroy you is going to be immediately
available to you. Anything that can destroy you with fame
is going to be immediately available to you. If you
have a tendency to do drugs, Rold, drugs ain't never
going to be so available if you love women, right,
(55:48):
And I say women, but I wanted to say a
different word, because when you take away the character from
a woman, in some people opinion, they become something derogatory.
And I believe in the existence of a type of
woman that's extremely dangerous, to the point where the Bible
talks about if the Bible was written in if the
Bible was written in rap language, it'll be like these holes,
(56:10):
you know what I'm saying, Like literally, if Proverbs would
say these holes four five, twenty times, if it's written
in rap language, right, it will be warning you, and
it specifically as it relates to men of a certain status,
same public, you know. But if whatever your vice is
(56:31):
is immediately available to you. And so I chose this
life partially because I wanted to be the best version
of myself, you know, not even knowing all that it
didn't tell and all the work I would have to do,
and super not knowing what we go through. Like we've
been through stuff that I would rather not but hey
(56:52):
we made it.
Speaker 4 (56:53):
Wow. How long have you and your wife been together?
Speaker 1 (56:57):
Together? For five years and.
Speaker 5 (57:00):
Married for Okay, you got married quick. So let me
ask you this question. Do you feel like a lot
of there's like a this is on the airnet all
the time they say that men know very quickly if
this woman would be their wife or not. Is that
was that true for you? I know you can't speak
for the majority of men, but was that truth for you?
Speaker 1 (57:20):
Let's start here. I wouldn't. I would recommend to anybody
to spend time. Yeah, more than I did. You know
what I'm saying. There are things that I went through
as a married man that I would much rather go
through in boyfriend girlfriend stamm So Pierce, it's a bar.
Speaker 3 (57:36):
Well, well, maybe some of those things would have separated
you too.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (57:41):
Maybe you know what I'm saying. That's real.
Speaker 3 (57:44):
If you go through them and a boyfriend girlfriend stage,
you're more likely to in some cases to split then
when you go through them, because like when you married,
you more likely to stay together because like you like,
because once you get married, that's a different type of commitment.
Speaker 1 (57:58):
Bro, It's a contrace. Yeah, and that's why the whole
separate conversation. That's kind of what I wanted to talk
about when you said it's for poor people and old people.
It's like we don't talk about marriage is not just
a commitment in the sense that you look at somebody
in and decide this is the contract. It's legal. Anything
that you sign, the courts can get involved with and
(58:21):
tell you how to live a portion of your life.
That's why rich niggas should I would have said, should
be more careful than you know what I'm saying, because
it's there are real implications on what it is.
Speaker 2 (58:37):
Look like my thing is too, this is the thing.
Speaker 3 (58:41):
I've been there, Like you step to an altar in
front of whoever, and who's gonna give you your vals?
Like when you utter the words for better or for worse,
like you uttered those words like, let's see what they
really mean.
Speaker 2 (58:56):
That's the reason.
Speaker 3 (58:57):
Those words are said because they know that when you
do this, that's gonna get tested for sure. You know
what I'm saying in the boyfriend girlfriend's stage, that's not
those words ain't been said. Yeah, so now when these
words get said, you gonna And I did say for
this right right, you know what I'm saying. But I
got for richer, you know. So it's a different meaning.
(59:20):
So you would have to put up more when you
cross that line.
Speaker 5 (59:23):
But I do think that a lot of people's problems
is they look for marriage as commitment and instead of
having that bond and that commitment without the paperwork. To me,
marriage is a governmental contract. These people are now in
my business, and now you know, if anything happens to you,
I have a say, I can do certain things, I
can move in a certain way, like I'm not even
against a prenup. But what I would say is we
(59:45):
look for a lot of women, not men, look for
marriage as now we're committed. But I'm not going to
go to an alter in front of a bunch of
people and sign governmental paperwork to be committed to you.
I'm already committed to you without that. The thing to
get married is just so that if I need to
handle something with you or you need to handle something
with me, people know what's up, right, And that's how
(01:00:06):
I look at that portion of marriage where a lot
of people don't.
Speaker 4 (01:00:10):
And Paul said the other day that.
Speaker 5 (01:00:11):
People do women specifically, they married for a status because
it makes you seem like you're more important as a
woman now that you're married.
Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
My ex told me, I thought you was gonna make
an honest woman out of me, And it was this
is somebody who I respected, who I felt like, who
did years with me with no contract, you know what
I'm saying, but at a time where I was nowhere
near mature enough to do the job. Yeah, nowhere near Yeah,
and so and so you're right that there's there's a
(01:00:43):
different like it's a huge gift that you can give
a woman. Yeah, as it relates to like what it
does to her womanhood for sure, And so yeah, because
it's it does into a great women who still you know,
don't know what it's like to be in that position
(01:01:06):
or know, and it didn't work and then still want
to get back to that set.
Speaker 4 (01:01:09):
So for sure, it's the status for a woman.
Speaker 5 (01:01:12):
But you have to find a woman or a man
that doesn't just want to have a husband, but they
want to be.
Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
A wife and to you, yeah, to you specifically, And
so I would still, yeah, I would go I would
recommend that people. Yeah, I feel like they already got
those muscles exercised before they jump into it, because you know,
the title ain't gonna save you.
Speaker 4 (01:01:37):
I always say.
Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
That title won't save you from the world.
Speaker 4 (01:01:39):
Want marriage won't save you, and a baby won't save you.
It'll make it worse.
Speaker 5 (01:01:45):
You gotta be fit for war once you go into
any of those realms.
Speaker 4 (01:01:49):
So I think a lot of women to learn that.
Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
But that's been great.
Speaker 4 (01:01:53):
Yeah, you drop channels today.
Speaker 3 (01:01:55):
I really, I really learned something that I hope that
you know, the more and more people that watch our podcasts.
You know, like women got some gems today, for sure,
Like the fellas. I always give them gyms, but today
because it's too lopsided, but the women's got.
Speaker 4 (01:02:13):
Some real men did too, though.
Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
Men definitely got some game.
Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
Yeah, men, I feel like women got something to appreciate
with a lot of the words you spent today. Yeah,
and so, man, this has been an honor and the
blessing to just hear your your words of wisdom, your relationship,
being in the rap game, doing what you're doing, uh,
being from Englewood.
Speaker 5 (01:02:34):
Exactly, it's only right, exactly. And you've always given such
a wise energy, like for sure. You you come off
as a very wise man, and I always appreciate the
vulnerability when a black man could come on our platform
and be vulnerable, because you won't understand the impact that
that has on other both men and women, you know,
to hear that, to hear your honesty and your words, like,
(01:02:58):
I'll always commend you for that.
Speaker 4 (01:02:59):
So thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
So again, what tell the people going?
Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
Yeah, my my album Wake Up Souper comes out August
twenty sixth. I'm on tour October twenty eighth. My first
date is in Vancouver. I'm in LA.
Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
Definitely pulling up and we.
Speaker 1 (01:03:24):
Hit in eighteen cities in the States. Mayor of Kingstown
comes out November twenty sixth. I played Rafayel on that.
Incredible actors like Jeremy rennerd Toby baumb Tefa Patrick k Patrick,
Dinny Love my brothers and so the car. You know,
(01:03:46):
it's just it's a lot of things happening. You know,
I might try out, you know, to play for the Lakers.
You know, I love it, you know now. But it's
a lot of beautiful things going on. We dropping the music,
it's some of the best music you're gonna.
Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
Hear this year.
Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
I guarantee it, So y'all be on the lookout. And
you know, I just did a deal with with dea
Ro so big shout out to Uncle Snoop. You know
we did a partnership. You know, it's a No. Three
sixty deal. Ain't nothing crazy. Snoop did legitimate business with
the with the kid and and it's it's super behind
what we're doing. So I'm excited about that. So a
(01:04:27):
lot of lovely things you ll man.
Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
Make sure y'all check out my man from the Wood.
He smoked smoke my brother.
Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
Oh yeah. Looking forward to the big things with you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:39):
And you know we're gonna be at the Wood High
School games like we was.
Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (01:04:46):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
Sorry, thank you for having me.
Speaker 5 (01:04:48):
Of course, a good thing you as well. I really
appreciate you coming through and it's only right. And you
dropped so many jazz. Yeah, so like I'm learning, I'm
taking it all in and I'm still just absorbing.
Speaker 4 (01:05:00):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
And these are these are insights from the field. Yeah,
it's like a boxer with his hand raised. He got
the bruises and all that. You know what I'm saying.
So It's like it's like it's so fresh on my
mind that it's getting that. You know what I'm saying, authentic,
no pet like, like I said, ain't no pedestal that
I'm preaching from. It's this is like how I'm navigating.
(01:05:22):
That's why I can articulate it so well because I
got to say it to myself.
Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
That's just to take the pressure off of people feeling
like they got to know everything I don't. But this
is what I'm using now.
Speaker 5 (01:05:34):
But thank you for that, because so many people, especially
podcasts these days, men come on there like you should
be doing if you're not, like you come with such
a humble like vibe and energy and you're a successful
man like and you're coming with that and you're still
learning and that I really respect, like from a deep place,
and I expect nothing less from you because I know
(01:05:55):
you're an incredible person.
Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
So thank you again.
Speaker 5 (01:05:58):
Make sure you guys are following him tapped in frequency.
Speaker 4 (01:06:01):
You know what I mean. Check that out. I love
Lucky Dave. I love your music. So that song is.
Speaker 5 (01:06:06):
Cracking and featuring Larussell and Sari oh yeah yeah, and
I love both of them. So yeah, make sure you
guys are following d Smoke will put all the information
that he mentioned below. Thank you guys for tuning in
to another episode of the Truth after Dark.
Speaker 4 (01:06:23):
We love y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
Y'all is taking over the game, all right, everybody, welcome
(01:06:52):
to Truth after Dark.
Speaker 4 (01:06:54):
Do you think that men or women are more toxic
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