September 6, 2024 • 28 mins
Ever pondered the deeper meaning of life through the lens of teaching? This episode takes you on a journey through existential reflections and the importance of authentic relationships. We discuss the energy it takes to keep long classes engaging and the crucial role of genuine connections in both teaching and therapy. Plus, a touching story from a multicultural class reveals the intricate dance of personal beliefs and client relationships, stressing that authenticity and honesty are key to meaningful connections.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
all right.
Well, let's, let's, let's,check in, man, let me, let me,
let me go first, man, let me gofirst.
I just want this to be like afive minute check--in, bro.
Hey, man, I've been taking careof myself more than ever before
.
I'm drinking a blueberry andbanana smoothie with beets in it
.
I like the beets.
Yeah, I like the beets, man,because it helps with blood flow
(00:38):
and blood pressure and all thatgood stuff.
Man, I've been takingmultivitamins every day, just
the stuff that normal people do.
That I haven't been doingbecause I've been trying to kill
myself on this book treadmill.
You know, book treadmill morelike trying to find the most
(01:00):
healthiest faculty to be a partof no, seriously, the healthiest
program to be a part of, yes,the healthiest job to be a part
of, no, seriously, thehealthiest program to be a part
of.
Yes, the healthiest job to be apart of man.
Yeah, yeah, I don't.
I don't think people realize howlike, how like lucky they are
when they find that place.
Yeah, if, yeah, if you can, ifyou can find a place, whether
you're a faculty or a clinicianin a group practice, and like
(01:20):
people.
There's no competition, there's, you know, everybody's just
like uplifting.
You know, nobody's like, wherewere you?
The meeting started at 8 29.
Why weren't you here?
You know, well, because mywife's car didn't start.
And well, no, no, no, no, no,see, it's not even that, because
, see, that, that's just, that'sfine, like check, checking,
it's the, it's the.
(01:42):
I know you're not here becauseyou don't prioritize what we're
doing here.
I know you're not here becauseyou're doing something else.
It's the malicious intent.
Yeah, man, that just makes it.
Man, man, yeah, well, that's apart of the topic that I kind of
(02:04):
wanted to talk about today too.
But, yeah, man, that's it forme.
Man Kyra had his first footballpractice yesterday and he
played well, he played to beexpected.
You know, the son of an athletejust out there, yeah, lineage,
just being an athlete man,lineage, I mean, sometimes it's
shocking.
Sometimes I see him and he'slike having fun, and I'm like,
(02:26):
bro, you have no idea how luckyyou are to have gotten these
jeans from me.
Yeah, you should tell him that.
You should remind him every day.
You have no idea, you shouldremind him every day.
Man, yeah, yeah, yeah, you haveno idea.
Yeah, I was wondering what yourtattoo said and, yeah, I
figured it out On my forehead,Jeans like me.
Yeah, nah, man, it was fun.
(02:52):
Yeah, we're always startingdance.
Next week she's doing two danceclasses, so she's going to be
at dance from like 5 to 7 pmNext week.
Bro, our extracurriculars withthe kids are like ramping up.
There's one weekend where Kyrahas a soccer game and a football
game.
It's wild.
I don't know how we're going tofit in golf, but we fit it in.
(03:13):
Yeah, you're just going to haveto.
You know you have to.
You're just going to have to.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, you know what you do.
You're just playing your lifearound your tea time.
Yeah, man, how can he be thenext professional in everything
if we're not prioritizing thatstuff?
Yeah, I knew I had a problemwhen I called the clubhouse and
(03:40):
set up my tea time and the guygoes another one, excuse me,
we're going to have to cut youoff.
No, because I thought you werea public servant.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Why are you giving me this lip?
I'm trying to pay you to comeplay again.
Why are you giving me this sass?
I don't like to judge me.
(04:00):
I'm taking my businesselsewhere.
Yeah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's, that's us man,that's us bro.
I don't really have much in thejacket, bro.
Everything's just rollingsmoothly, man, classes I was.
How was valent's first day at uhat preschool?
Oh, bro, it was dope.
Yeah, it was dope.
I mean he was a little nervous,like a little nervous, you know
(04:21):
, to go in, but uh-huh, you know, he settled in his.
Uh, his teacher is a friend ofours and so she had some
play-doh ready, you know to goin, but uh-huh, you know, he
settled in his.
Uh, his teacher is a friend ofours and so she had some
play-doh ready for him to go.
Man, it was.
It was nice man.
He settled in, they tookpictures and it seems like he
had a lot of fun that day.
But then today, today, when Idropped him off, uh, he just ran
in, didn't even give me a hug.
I had to call him back to giveme a hug, man, um, but yeah, but
(04:43):
it's nice, seems like he'sadjusting well and it's crazy
just having one kid.
I don't know if you can hearyeah, I can hear him cooling in
the background.
Hey y'all.
So for the listeners, babyViolin is our special guest
today.
Team Baby Shiloh, baby Shiloh.
God, you don't know my kids'names, man.
(05:05):
I'm sorry, man, why don't youlove my kids?
I'm sorry, geez, why don't?
Why don't this?
Why don't there's so much ofthese Little rugrats running
around?
Man, I, I even call my kids bythe wrong name.
I do the same thing.
I do the same thing.
I be like Uh, uh, I'd be likewhatever your name is, and the
(05:25):
kids look back at you like youdon't love me.
You don't know that, doesn'teven know my name, it doesn't
even.
Oh man, anyway, amen, hey bro,oh man, we getting into
existential this week, ma Intheories.
Yeah, man, bro, it's adifferent vibe.
(05:46):
Vibe, man, it's a differentvibe.
I don't think.
I don't think people like, whenpeople hear existentialism, I
feel like they hear and I don'twant it to be a.
You know, I could pull up mypowerpoint and go through the
lecture again.
Yeah, please do.
Yeah, I got time to do that.
Yeah, okay, yeah, because it'sit's just about, it's, it's
about 75 slides.
Yeah, I think the listenerswill love that and there's some
(06:08):
activities.
Can you read every single wordfrom your PowerPoint?
Please, don't skip a beat atall.
Yeah, absolutely, I can't wait,thank you, thank you, yeah,
chapter six existentialism.
What is the meaning of life?
Nah, man, it was cool.
It was just like a heavy class,man, until I taught last night,
for, you know, from 2, 2.30 to8.50, 9 o'clock, 9.30.
(06:32):
But it was just heavy, it washeavy.
I got done with class and I waslike man, I am tired.
Yeah, and it's not even aboutlike bringing the energy because
the students are great, likethe corporate we have now, bro,
great man, they like facilitateconversations really well, all
of that stuff.
But man, it's just, it's justheavy and it you know talks
about like we spent a lot oftime last night talking about
(06:55):
the I-Thou relationship.
Sure, yeah, man, you know, andhow to like develop a genuine
relationship and then how tohold your clients accountable
once they show you who they are,you know, but then how do you
get them, how do you facilitatea process where they show you
who they are?
Yeah, it's just, it was a wehad, we had a, we had a.
(07:17):
We had a similar discussion,man, in, uh, in my multicultural
class where we, we, we, wetalked about that.
Like you know this, this Ican't, I can't really, I can't
really see facilitating a a asimilar discussion.
I don't know why.
Why are you being so hurtful?
I'm not being hurtful.
These are just facts.
I don't understand why you meanthese are just facts.
(07:39):
I don't know.
If you look, if you look atyour teaching award, if you look
at your teaching award fromlast year, because we won the
teaching award in the same yearwhat is your teaching award?
Say the, the provost award forexcellence?
No, no, oh, I'm sorry, thatwasn't the teaching award, that
(08:00):
was just the excellence award.
I'm sorry, that was the.
That was the generalconsolation right to give to
most, to most first facultymembers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, g, what isit gonna?
You were, you were one of 12.
What is it gonna take?
What is it gonna take for youto get all this hate out your
heart?
Huh, it's not, it's not.
What is it going to take, man,I don't understand.
(08:20):
It's not hate, this is actuallycoming from a place of love.
Yeah, if this is what lovefeels like, I don't want it.
Jt, I don't want it.
Nah, man, I don't want it.
Jude Thaddeus, I don't want.
Oh, you think you have a choice.
(08:42):
No, you're stuck in here withme.
No, no, that's what you saidwhen we were in the womb.
I got you for nine months.
Oh, yeah, brother, I got you.
For nine months I've been tothe top.
I've been to the top, I've beento the top.
(09:02):
I've got you for nine months.
This is the bottom for you.
I've got you for nine months.
In here, brother, oh man, nah,man, nah.
We had that discussion inmulticultural class, in
diversity, mainly because, likeyou know, this one student was
sharing how this one client waslike hey, you know, do you
(09:22):
believe in our Lord and Savior,jesus Christ?
You know, and the student doesnot, you know, and the student,
instead of saying like no, Idon't know, the student was like
well, I'm interested in whatmakes you so interested in the
answer to that, like, what wouldit do for our relationship if I
had to answer that?
(09:42):
You know, that's a great, it'sa great reflection.
That's what I said.
I was like it's a greatreflection, but but the
interesting discussion happenedwhen I was like, why didn't you
just say the real answer, youknow?
And the student said somethinglike you know, I didn't want
there to be a relational riff if, if, you know, because of my
(10:03):
beliefs, you know, the clientdoesn't feel like I can, the
client doesn't feel connected tome, you know.
And and I was like man, what,if, what, but that's, that's the
reality of life, right, like,the reality of life is that the
reality of relationships is thatyou don't, you don't fit for
everyone.
Sometimes you're in arelationship with someone.
(10:24):
You think they are who they are, and then they reveal who they
actually are and you're like, oh, I don't think I want to be in
a relationship with you, youknow, yeah.
Or or in some cases, like,especially in this situation,
it's like can you be in arelationship, can you have an
intimate, close relationshipwith somebody who doesn't have
the same beliefs as you?
(10:44):
Exactly, exactly, that's thechallenge.
Exactly, I think that's thechallenge.
I think that's what, like, thediversity class is all about, at
least for me, you know, becauseI think what happens is
students think that they have tobe this beacon of acceptance.
Yeah, and in order to be thisbeacon of acceptance, sometimes
(11:05):
they feel like they have toblanket themselves or great
slate themselves or transforminto something that's ambiguous
Every man themselves.
Yeah, and they have to be likeambiguous, you know, like you
don't know what I believe in, orwho I believe in, or who I'm
voting for, or what I'm doing,or where I come from.
(11:26):
You know, and it's like man,you're doing that, but also
asking your clients in return tobe genuine, you know, and it's
like ah man, you know, but I'mgenuine, you know, and it's like
ah man, you know.
But I'm finding that a lot thatI'm when I'm finding,
especially with, like, mystudents now, is that they, you
know, there there is this ideaof what therapy is like, you
(11:48):
know, and then they get into,like some of these classes and
they're like, oh, I thought Ithought therapy was, was this
way, you know and I had astudent say the same thing last
night to me Well, a lot of whatthey're finding is that, like,
especially therapy school, liketherapy school is more about
(12:08):
finding out who you actually are, like finding out like your own
voice and like how you sound inthe room and how you sound in
the classroom and how you soundwhen you're writing and like all
this stuff.
So, you know, I had a studentwho reached out to me about like
hey, because there I didn't dothis, I don't do this Right, but
one of the other professors inour program assigned one of the
(12:31):
books that we wrote as atextbook, like you and me, you
and me, yeah, one of the booksthat me and you wrote as a
textbook in the course, right,so it's weird.
Just one of them.
Yeah, it's weird.
Side note here.
Side note here I had a lot ofstudents the other day ask me to
sign their books for them.
You know, oh, I forgot, this isyour first time.
(12:53):
Well, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, jesus, I remember my first
time when I see an actor andsign that book.
Oh man, yeah, it's just likehey, man, my office is right
there.
I'm like I'm actually teachingyou in this course, like why do
you want my autograph?
Signing people books, signingpeople books for him.
Bro, I know, I sign it, I signit, I sign it and also stretch.
(13:23):
Well, this is another thing,since I'm on this little tangent
here, man, they're in a classwith you.
Well, man, a lot of.
So I heard, I overheard astudent say well, you know, I
just I didn't want it Cause astudent asked me if I had a copy
of my book right Of a survivingand thriving, and I was like,
yeah, I think I got like maybetwo more copies left, you know.
(13:51):
So I gave him copies left, youknow.
So I gave me two more copies.
And one of the students is likeI just kind of want to buy just
to support him, you know, and Iwas like I'm not struggling, I
don't, I don't need your support, I don't, it's shit.
Do I look like I'm strugglingme?
Pay me?
Do I look like?
Do I look like I need, I need,I need the 33?
What do you think's happeningover here?
Like, are you like, did you?
Oh yeah, I took a look at thefirst chapter and ain't nobody
buying this book.
So you know I, you know I, I'mpretty sure they're signing
(14:11):
because it's charity, it's a taxwrite-off.
Yeah, I had, yeah, yeah, I had,a student who, yeah, said the
same thing to me last night like, man, this isn't, this isn't
what I thought it was going tobe like, and not in a bad way,
just in like a man.
Every time we leave class I havesomething else to like think,
(14:33):
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you knowwhat I mean.
And, um, I think that's howit's supposed to be, man, that's
how it's supposed to be.
No, do you remember?
Well, I don't know, man, I feltlike in the beginning of our
academic career in graduateschool it was.
It was more or less like let'sget, let's just get through this
.
You know like, let's just getthrough it.
And I think once you get intolike, maybe, like practice,
(14:54):
pre-practicum, practicum, maybeyour second year, so when you
start to really question stuff,you know like, who am I?
(15:52):
You know like, what am I doing?
Like, what is my view of humannature and how does that, how
does that play a role in youknow like, how I create
relationships with people, thankyou.
So, hey, man, real quick, realquick, and I don't want to get,
(16:13):
I don't want to say anythingthat's going to get us fired,
but like, how are you navigatinglike politics in your classroom
?
Like, is that the subject ofpolitics, yeah, or just politics
in general?
You know, like, like, is it?
Is it obvious in your class,like, where people stand
(16:33):
politically?
Yeah, it's pretty obvious.
Yeah, it's pretty obvious whatpeople say politically, uh, I
think people would be surprisedat where I stand politically.
You know, yeah, who you votingfor real quick, who you voting
for like that real quick, nah,nah, it is like like I don't
(16:58):
know like more and more of anissue.
You know like, at least we findit like, you know, at my
university, where it's just likemore and more sensitive to like
talk about, you know, but Iuniversity, where it's just like
more and more sensitive to liketalk about, you know, but I,
but I do feel like socialsciences, you know, like
counseling and psychology andall this stuff.
We're like way more vulnerablein.
You know, like I can't seesports science or like
(17:20):
kinesiology no, no, no, being indanger of like offending a
student or yeah, but it feelslike social science is like
that's kind of what we do.
Yeah, it was like you don't,you don't go, you don't set a
curriculum, like, oh, this isgonna get them.
You know what I mean.
But you said it and you thinklike, hey, if you're gonna work
in this field, you need tounderstand racial dynamics and
(17:42):
privilege and just all of thestuff that we talk about.
Yeah, yeah, you need tounderstand.
You need to be able to create arelationship with somebody who
is on a completely differentpolitical spectrum than you.
Yeah, bro, you know, and stillmaintain genuineness and, you
know, acceptance, you know.
And yeah, yeah, bro, but realquick, because I know I gotta
run to a meeting, but, um, itcomes out when we're doing cases
(18:06):
dog, oh, yeah, yeah, the casesare wild because because I teach
my class, my dog, the way Iteach is like half stand up,
half lecture, have half themagic show.
Yeah, like you know what I meanand where the audience is
participating the whole time.
You know like I want.
(18:27):
You know like I want to getthem sharing, I want to get them
processing stuff.
I want to get them to the pointto where you know, to where
it's like they they don'tnecessarily remember the lecture
, but they remember the conceptsbecause of the stories we're
all telling.
Yeah, yeah, you know.
And so, anyway, man, so at theend of each class in theories, I
get up on the board and we justgo through a couple cases.
(18:48):
Go through a couple cases, yeah, you know, like name, sex,
location, gender, ethnicity,race, sex, all of this stuff.
You know what I mean.
And when they do that, I'malways like here we go.
Yeah, you know, here we go.
I'm always like here we go.
Yeah, you know, here we go.
Because it's like sometimesstudents and not just in that
(19:09):
first cohort, but in everycohort, you know what I mean and
in every cohort that will cometo be, there's always this like
tension.
Yeah, man, you know what I meanand I don't feel the tension.
I don't like to me, it doesn'tbother me, it's all teaching
moments.
Well, you feel it, but it's notwithin you.
It's like an external tension.
(19:29):
Yeah, it's an external tension,but I feel like it's been
mounting ever for the past sixyears.
It feels like each time I teach.
You want to say something aboutthat in class.
You want to say, hey, man, Ifeel like this is, I'm not
saying you should do this, likeno, no, you ever get the urge to
, to, to no, because no, becauseI wanted to have, I want
(19:51):
something to happen.
If it's gonna happen, you knowwhat I mean.
I don't want them to be somindful of it that they're
polite.
You know like I want, you knowI want it to happen because I
feel like you know it'll be likea great and I can handle
anything that happens in theclass.
You know I'm just saying like,as it would a bird's eye view.
It just seems like the classroomand students are becoming more
(20:14):
sensitive to things, that thatthat they don't like, or things
that makes them uncomfortable.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure,for sure, which just makes it
really hard to do my job.
No, man, it's the best part ofthe job.
I think it is.
It is.
It's the best part of the job,especially when you see students
(20:36):
break through that barrier ofdiscomfort.
You know, yeah, yeah, I knowyou got to go, but I think I use
or somebody pops off, yeah.
Or somebody pops off, yeah,yeah, and says some stuff that
makes everybody Because theydon't see each other in class,
like I see them.
Yeah, I see the whole room.
Yeah, you know, so I see whensomebody says something and
somebody in the back of them isjust like, oh, my goodness, well
(20:59):
, so I'm thinking so in mymulticultural class it's only 12
people in the room.
So we teach in this boardroomwhere everybody's facing each
other.
You know, and I think I want todo that for all of my classes
Make them face each other so Ican walk in between them.
You know, especially if youhave a baby program, like y'all,
or you have that much people ina class Our program's been
(21:23):
around yeah, yeah, yeah, no,when you have that adolescent
program, you know that pre-teenprogram your program's all
pimply now your program's pimplyvoices dropping.
It's awkward.
Your program still has thatspotlight syndrome.
How old does your program haveto be before they come out of
(21:46):
puberty?
I mean, I'm not Just.
If I was just to throwsomething out there.
I feel like our program ispretty mature.
How old is your program?
15 years, let's just say ourprogram is diversified.
Let's just say that.
(22:06):
Let's just say that.
Let's just say that isdiversified.
Let's just say that.
Let's just say that.
Let's just say that it's a it's.
It's matched, it's a.
No, it's invested, it's a.
It's a known issue in ourprogram, known, it's a known.
Well, our program is 30something years old.
Man, and uh, oh, let's say man,yeah, hey, yeah, we got a good
program.
Man, we got a good program overthere.
(22:26):
Man, hey, but real quick,before you go, before you go,
man, I use one of your slides,that slide with the linear
timeline of american slavery anddiversity.
I just, I just popped it up onthe screen, man, it was.
Every time it was, it wasshocking, like the class was
shook.
You know, I was like man, y'alldon't spend time thinking of
(22:46):
this, but all the time I thinkabout that, I don't matter of
fact, listeners, listeners, ifyou can find, I wish there was a
way we could, we could post it.
I wish we had social media.
Yeah, I wish we had socialmedia.
Yeah, man, I guess we'll justnever know.
Uh, anyway, now listen, if youcan find there's this.
There's this graphic of this,like like kind of rainbow, and
(23:09):
it has like red, red, yellow andgreen sections of it and it
talks about like slavery, youknow, and integration and
segregation, and it's a timeline.
It's a timeline and you get tosee just how, like, how long
slavery was and how short, youknow, like the civil rights
period, because we think thatthis, this has been around
(23:31):
forever, like it hasn't.
Yeah, oh well, you, you, youwould think that it's.
It happened so long ago, solong ago.
Yeah, yeah, people saw the, theline, the timeline.
They were like oh man, my, myparents were born, parents were
born in this yellow.
My grandparents were born inthis yellow.
My grandparents were bornslaves.
(23:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ipointed out so we were all born
right around this green area,so for us, everything is good.
Man Shiloh's looking at yourcoffee, like, can I have some
please?
Definitely not, oh, man, anyway, anyway, yeah, man, yeah, so,
(24:16):
all right, let's do somecheckouts.
Man, I really it's raining overhere, man, it's like pouring,
ironing over here, which makesit extremely hard to like be in,
to be in my office, especiallywhen especially when no students
come, you know, like when it'sjust me hanging out in the
office getting some work done.
I look outside, man, I see therain.
I'm like, yeah, I would just goahead on taking that right here
(24:38):
, man, I wish I could take a nap.
Man, I gotta run to thisfucking meeting, um, but, uh,
yeah, maybe good weekend.
Hopefully kian does well and wecan go to the arcade this
weekend.
We've been trying to get intoWhat'd you say, bud?
What'd you say to me?
Tell us, shiloh, give us yourwisdom.
(25:00):
Yeah, hopefully he does well sowe can go to the arcade.
He does well in school.
Well, we just wanted to listenbetter, man, listen better and
be more respectful and be morehonest.
(25:21):
You know what you have to do.
You have to beat him, beat him.
Yeah, you have to beat him.
I know, I know you have to beathim.
You have to beat him, beat him.
Yeah, you have to beat him.
Yeah, I know, I know you haveto beat him.
Yes, I know, I know.
I just got to look him dead inthe eye.
Yeah, yep, this is for your owngood.
It's because I love you.
Yeah, it's because I love you.
(25:43):
Casually talking about beatingkids Casually triggering,
casually talking about beatingkids at a party, casually
triggering.
Man, I was in a meeting oncewhere it was a bunch of brown
people in a meeting and you know, somebody who wasn't brown, you
know got preheated aboutwhoopings and how abusive it was
(26:05):
, you know.
And let's just say, the meetingtook a turn.
It took a turn and I was firstyear faculty member, so I was
like I'm not tenured enough forthis, for this risk.
And charlotte was looking at melike daddy no, not daddy, not
daddy, that's not daddy.
Though when did he get theblonde hair from?
(26:27):
Did your other boys have blondehair?
I don't remember them havingblonde hair, definitely not.
He just came out platinum.
Alright, well, let me finish mybeet juice.
Man, you make it to yourmeeting.
Your poop about to be so red.
(26:48):
Hey, man, you ever fed yourkids beets?
Uh, yeah, it's horrifying.
Lindsay would make these, likeyou know, it's horrifying.
Oh my gosh, bro, it'shorrifying.
Oh, okay, alright, it'sshocking.
It's shocking.
It shocks the system.
Uh huh, he's like oh okay, allright, this is his insides.
(27:09):
It's shocking, it's shocking,it shocks the system.
Hey, last night Kyra woke upand said daddy, my ear is
hurting.
And I looked him bold face inthe eye and said okay, dude, go
back and lay down.
And he looked at me and saiddaddy, that's not going to solve
the problem.
It was like two o'clock in themorning.
Yeah, he's too old for that.
He's like.
I was like, oh, you're right, Ineed medicine.
(27:31):
I need medicine.
What is wrong with me?
You ever blood this with yourkids and they be like daddy,
help me find it.
And you be like all right, I'mgoing to look for it.
You don't need that, bro, I'mnot looking.
(27:54):
Dad, can you help me?
Can you help me find my gate?
Dad, can you help me find myweapon for my power rangers?
Yeah, man, I'm gonna look forit real quick.
Yeah, hold on, hold on, youlook, you look, you look and
I'll look in the other room,yeah, yeah, because they have.
They have no concept of time oranything.
A guy was waking up.
He's waking up.
He looked at me like, how isthat going to solve the problem?
My mind went to man, if he cando that type of thinking at 2.30
(28:19):
in the morning, I was like, ohyeah, trouble.
Yeah, something's really wrong.
Anyway, all right, y'all, we'llsee y'all next week.
You.
all right.
Well, let's, let's, let's,check in, man, let me, let me,
let me go first, man, let me gofirst.
I just want this to be like afive minute check--in, bro.
Hey, man, I've been taking careof myself more than ever before
.
I'm drinking a blueberry andbanana smoothie with beets in it
.
I like the beets.
Yeah, I like the beets, man,because it helps with blood flow
(00:38):
and blood pressure and all thatgood stuff.
Man, I've been takingmultivitamins every day, just
the stuff that normal people do.
That I haven't been doingbecause I've been trying to kill
myself on this book treadmill.
You know, book treadmill morelike trying to find the most
(01:00):
healthiest faculty to be a partof no, seriously, the healthiest
program to be a part of, yes,the healthiest job to be a part
of, no, seriously, thehealthiest program to be a part
of.
Yes, the healthiest job to be apart of man.
Yeah, yeah, I don't.
I don't think people realize howlike, how like lucky they are
when they find that place.
Yeah, if, yeah, if you can, ifyou can find a place, whether
you're a faculty or a clinicianin a group practice, and like
(01:20):
people.
There's no competition, there's, you know, everybody's just
like uplifting.
You know, nobody's like, wherewere you?
The meeting started at 8 29.
Why weren't you here?
You know, well, because mywife's car didn't start.
And well, no, no, no, no, no,see, it's not even that, because
, see, that, that's just, that'sfine, like check, checking,
it's the, it's the.
(01:42):
I know you're not here becauseyou don't prioritize what we're
doing here.
I know you're not here becauseyou're doing something else.
It's the malicious intent.
Yeah, man, that just makes it.
Man, man, yeah, well, that's apart of the topic that I kind of
(02:04):
wanted to talk about today too.
But, yeah, man, that's it forme.
Man Kyra had his first footballpractice yesterday and he
played well, he played to beexpected.
You know, the son of an athletejust out there, yeah, lineage,
just being an athlete man,lineage, I mean, sometimes it's
shocking.
Sometimes I see him and he'slike having fun, and I'm like,
(02:26):
bro, you have no idea how luckyyou are to have gotten these
jeans from me.
Yeah, you should tell him that.
You should remind him every day.
You have no idea, you shouldremind him every day.
Man, yeah, yeah, yeah, you haveno idea.
Yeah, I was wondering what yourtattoo said and, yeah, I
figured it out On my forehead,Jeans like me.
Yeah, nah, man, it was fun.
(02:52):
Yeah, we're always startingdance.
Next week she's doing two danceclasses, so she's going to be
at dance from like 5 to 7 pmNext week.
Bro, our extracurriculars withthe kids are like ramping up.
There's one weekend where Kyrahas a soccer game and a football
game.
It's wild.
I don't know how we're going tofit in golf, but we fit it in.
(03:13):
Yeah, you're just going to haveto.
You know you have to.
You're just going to have to.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, you know what you do.
You're just playing your lifearound your tea time.
Yeah, man, how can he be thenext professional in everything
if we're not prioritizing thatstuff?
Yeah, I knew I had a problemwhen I called the clubhouse and
(03:40):
set up my tea time and the guygoes another one, excuse me,
we're going to have to cut youoff.
No, because I thought you werea public servant.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Why are you giving me this lip?
I'm trying to pay you to comeplay again.
Why are you giving me this sass?
I don't like to judge me.
(04:00):
I'm taking my businesselsewhere.
Yeah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's, that's us man,that's us bro.
I don't really have much in thejacket, bro.
Everything's just rollingsmoothly, man, classes I was.
How was valent's first day at uhat preschool?
Oh, bro, it was dope.
Yeah, it was dope.
I mean he was a little nervous,like a little nervous, you know
(04:21):
, to go in, but uh-huh, you know, he settled in his.
Uh, his teacher is a friend ofours and so she had some
play-doh ready, you know to goin, but uh-huh, you know, he
settled in his.
Uh, his teacher is a friend ofours and so she had some
play-doh ready for him to go.
Man, it was.
It was nice man.
He settled in, they tookpictures and it seems like he
had a lot of fun that day.
But then today, today, when Idropped him off, uh, he just ran
in, didn't even give me a hug.
I had to call him back to giveme a hug, man, um, but yeah, but
(04:43):
it's nice, seems like he'sadjusting well and it's crazy
just having one kid.
I don't know if you can hearyeah, I can hear him cooling in
the background.
Hey y'all.
So for the listeners, babyViolin is our special guest
today.
Team Baby Shiloh, baby Shiloh.
God, you don't know my kids'names, man.
(05:05):
I'm sorry, man, why don't youlove my kids?
I'm sorry, geez, why don't?
Why don't this?
Why don't there's so much ofthese Little rugrats running
around?
Man, I, I even call my kids bythe wrong name.
I do the same thing.
I do the same thing.
I be like Uh, uh, I'd be likewhatever your name is, and the
(05:25):
kids look back at you like youdon't love me.
You don't know that, doesn'teven know my name, it doesn't
even.
Oh man, anyway, amen, hey bro,oh man, we getting into
existential this week, ma Intheories.
Yeah, man, bro, it's adifferent vibe.
(05:46):
Vibe, man, it's a differentvibe.
I don't think.
I don't think people like, whenpeople hear existentialism, I
feel like they hear and I don'twant it to be a.
You know, I could pull up mypowerpoint and go through the
lecture again.
Yeah, please do.
Yeah, I got time to do that.
Yeah, okay, yeah, because it'sit's just about, it's, it's
about 75 slides.
Yeah, I think the listenerswill love that and there's some
(06:08):
activities.
Can you read every single wordfrom your PowerPoint?
Please, don't skip a beat atall.
Yeah, absolutely, I can't wait,thank you, thank you, yeah,
chapter six existentialism.
What is the meaning of life?
Nah, man, it was cool.
It was just like a heavy class,man, until I taught last night,
for, you know, from 2, 2.30 to8.50, 9 o'clock, 9.30.
(06:32):
But it was just heavy, it washeavy.
I got done with class and I waslike man, I am tired.
Yeah, and it's not even aboutlike bringing the energy because
the students are great, likethe corporate we have now, bro,
great man, they like facilitateconversations really well, all
of that stuff.
But man, it's just, it's justheavy and it you know talks
about like we spent a lot oftime last night talking about
(06:55):
the I-Thou relationship.
Sure, yeah, man, you know, andhow to like develop a genuine
relationship and then how tohold your clients accountable
once they show you who they are,you know, but then how do you
get them, how do you facilitatea process where they show you
who they are?
Yeah, it's just, it was a wehad, we had a, we had a.
(07:17):
We had a similar discussion,man, in, uh, in my multicultural
class where we, we, we, wetalked about that.
Like you know this, this Ican't, I can't really, I can't
really see facilitating a a asimilar discussion.
I don't know why.
Why are you being so hurtful?
I'm not being hurtful.
These are just facts.
I don't understand why you meanthese are just facts.
(07:39):
I don't know.
If you look, if you look atyour teaching award, if you look
at your teaching award fromlast year, because we won the
teaching award in the same yearwhat is your teaching award?
Say the, the provost award forexcellence?
No, no, oh, I'm sorry, thatwasn't the teaching award, that
(08:00):
was just the excellence award.
I'm sorry, that was the.
That was the generalconsolation right to give to
most, to most first facultymembers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, g, what isit gonna?
You were, you were one of 12.
What is it gonna take?
What is it gonna take for youto get all this hate out your
heart?
Huh, it's not, it's not.
What is it going to take, man,I don't understand.
(08:20):
It's not hate, this is actuallycoming from a place of love.
Yeah, if this is what lovefeels like, I don't want it.
Jt, I don't want it.
Nah, man, I don't want it.
Jude Thaddeus, I don't want.
Oh, you think you have a choice.
(08:42):
No, you're stuck in here withme.
No, no, that's what you saidwhen we were in the womb.
I got you for nine months.
Oh, yeah, brother, I got you.
For nine months I've been tothe top.
I've been to the top, I've beento the top.
(09:02):
I've got you for nine months.
This is the bottom for you.
I've got you for nine months.
In here, brother, oh man, nah,man, nah.
We had that discussion inmulticultural class, in
diversity, mainly because, likeyou know, this one student was
sharing how this one client waslike hey, you know, do you
(09:22):
believe in our Lord and Savior,jesus Christ?
You know, and the student doesnot, you know, and the student,
instead of saying like no, Idon't know, the student was like
well, I'm interested in whatmakes you so interested in the
answer to that, like, what wouldit do for our relationship if I
had to answer that?
(09:42):
You know, that's a great, it'sa great reflection.
That's what I said.
I was like it's a greatreflection, but but the
interesting discussion happenedwhen I was like, why didn't you
just say the real answer, youknow?
And the student said somethinglike you know, I didn't want
there to be a relational riff if, if, you know, because of my
(10:03):
beliefs, you know, the clientdoesn't feel like I can, the
client doesn't feel connected tome, you know.
And and I was like man, what,if, what, but that's, that's the
reality of life, right, like,the reality of life is that the
reality of relationships is thatyou don't, you don't fit for
everyone.
Sometimes you're in arelationship with someone.
(10:24):
You think they are who they are, and then they reveal who they
actually are and you're like, oh, I don't think I want to be in
a relationship with you, youknow, yeah.
Or or in some cases, like,especially in this situation,
it's like can you be in arelationship, can you have an
intimate, close relationshipwith somebody who doesn't have
the same beliefs as you?
(10:44):
Exactly, exactly, that's thechallenge.
Exactly, I think that's thechallenge.
I think that's what, like, thediversity class is all about, at
least for me, you know, becauseI think what happens is
students think that they have tobe this beacon of acceptance.
Yeah, and in order to be thisbeacon of acceptance, sometimes
(11:05):
they feel like they have toblanket themselves or great
slate themselves or transforminto something that's ambiguous
Every man themselves.
Yeah, and they have to be likeambiguous, you know, like you
don't know what I believe in, orwho I believe in, or who I'm
voting for, or what I'm doing,or where I come from.
(11:26):
You know, and it's like man,you're doing that, but also
asking your clients in return tobe genuine, you know, and it's
like ah man, you know, but I'mgenuine, you know, and it's like
ah man, you know.
But I'm finding that a lot thatI'm when I'm finding,
especially with, like, mystudents now, is that they, you
know, there there is this ideaof what therapy is like, you
(11:48):
know, and then they get into,like some of these classes and
they're like, oh, I thought Ithought therapy was, was this
way, you know and I had astudent say the same thing last
night to me Well, a lot of whatthey're finding is that, like,
especially therapy school, liketherapy school is more about
(12:08):
finding out who you actually are, like finding out like your own
voice and like how you sound inthe room and how you sound in
the classroom and how you soundwhen you're writing and like all
this stuff.
So, you know, I had a studentwho reached out to me about like
hey, because there I didn't dothis, I don't do this Right, but
one of the other professors inour program assigned one of the
(12:31):
books that we wrote as atextbook, like you and me, you
and me, yeah, one of the booksthat me and you wrote as a
textbook in the course, right,so it's weird.
Just one of them.
Yeah, it's weird.
Side note here.
Side note here I had a lot ofstudents the other day ask me to
sign their books for them.
You know, oh, I forgot, this isyour first time.
(12:53):
Well, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, jesus, I remember my first
time when I see an actor andsign that book.
Oh man, yeah, it's just likehey, man, my office is right
there.
I'm like I'm actually teachingyou in this course, like why do
you want my autograph?
Signing people books, signingpeople books for him.
Bro, I know, I sign it, I signit, I sign it and also stretch.
(13:23):
Well, this is another thing,since I'm on this little tangent
here, man, they're in a classwith you.
Well, man, a lot of.
So I heard, I overheard astudent say well, you know, I
just I didn't want it Cause astudent asked me if I had a copy
of my book right Of a survivingand thriving, and I was like,
yeah, I think I got like maybetwo more copies left, you know.
(13:51):
So I gave him copies left, youknow.
So I gave me two more copies.
And one of the students is likeI just kind of want to buy just
to support him, you know, and Iwas like I'm not struggling, I
don't, I don't need your support, I don't, it's shit.
Do I look like I'm strugglingme?
Pay me?
Do I look like?
Do I look like I need, I need,I need the 33?
What do you think's happeningover here?
Like, are you like, did you?
Oh yeah, I took a look at thefirst chapter and ain't nobody
buying this book.
So you know I, you know I, I'mpretty sure they're signing
(14:11):
because it's charity, it's a taxwrite-off.
Yeah, I had, yeah, yeah, I had,a student who, yeah, said the
same thing to me last night like, man, this isn't, this isn't
what I thought it was going tobe like, and not in a bad way,
just in like a man.
Every time we leave class I havesomething else to like think,
(14:33):
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you knowwhat I mean.
And, um, I think that's howit's supposed to be, man, that's
how it's supposed to be.
No, do you remember?
Well, I don't know, man, I feltlike in the beginning of our
academic career in graduateschool it was.
It was more or less like let'sget, let's just get through this
.
You know like, let's just getthrough it.
And I think once you get intolike, maybe, like practice,
(14:54):
pre-practicum, practicum, maybeyour second year, so when you
start to really question stuff,you know like, who am I?
(15:52):
You know like, what am I doing?
Like, what is my view of humannature and how does that, how
does that play a role in youknow like, how I create
relationships with people, thankyou.
So, hey, man, real quick, realquick, and I don't want to get,
(16:13):
I don't want to say anythingthat's going to get us fired,
but like, how are you navigatinglike politics in your classroom
?
Like, is that the subject ofpolitics, yeah, or just politics
in general?
You know, like, like, is it?
Is it obvious in your class,like, where people stand
(16:33):
politically?
Yeah, it's pretty obvious.
Yeah, it's pretty obvious whatpeople say politically, uh, I
think people would be surprisedat where I stand politically.
You know, yeah, who you votingfor real quick, who you voting
for like that real quick, nah,nah, it is like like I don't
(16:58):
know like more and more of anissue.
You know like, at least we findit like, you know, at my
university, where it's just likemore and more sensitive to like
talk about, you know, but Iuniversity, where it's just like
more and more sensitive to liketalk about, you know, but I,
but I do feel like socialsciences, you know, like
counseling and psychology andall this stuff.
We're like way more vulnerablein.
You know, like I can't seesports science or like
(17:20):
kinesiology no, no, no, being indanger of like offending a
student or yeah, but it feelslike social science is like
that's kind of what we do.
Yeah, it was like you don't,you don't go, you don't set a
curriculum, like, oh, this isgonna get them.
You know what I mean.
But you said it and you thinklike, hey, if you're gonna work
in this field, you need tounderstand racial dynamics and
(17:42):
privilege and just all of thestuff that we talk about.
Yeah, yeah, you need tounderstand.
You need to be able to create arelationship with somebody who
is on a completely differentpolitical spectrum than you.
Yeah, bro, you know, and stillmaintain genuineness and, you
know, acceptance, you know.
And yeah, yeah, bro, but realquick, because I know I gotta
run to a meeting, but, um, itcomes out when we're doing cases
(18:06):
dog, oh, yeah, yeah, the casesare wild because because I teach
my class, my dog, the way Iteach is like half stand up,
half lecture, have half themagic show.
Yeah, like you know what I meanand where the audience is
participating the whole time.
You know like I want.
(18:27):
You know like I want to getthem sharing, I want to get them
processing stuff.
I want to get them to the pointto where you know, to where
it's like they they don'tnecessarily remember the lecture
, but they remember the conceptsbecause of the stories we're
all telling.
Yeah, yeah, you know.
And so, anyway, man, so at theend of each class in theories, I
get up on the board and we justgo through a couple cases.
(18:48):
Go through a couple cases, yeah, you know, like name, sex,
location, gender, ethnicity,race, sex, all of this stuff.
You know what I mean.
And when they do that, I'malways like here we go.
Yeah, you know, here we go.
I'm always like here we go.
Yeah, you know, here we go.
Because it's like sometimesstudents and not just in that
(19:09):
first cohort, but in everycohort, you know what I mean and
in every cohort that will cometo be, there's always this like
tension.
Yeah, man, you know what I meanand I don't feel the tension.
I don't like to me, it doesn'tbother me, it's all teaching
moments.
Well, you feel it, but it's notwithin you.
It's like an external tension.
(19:29):
Yeah, it's an external tension,but I feel like it's been
mounting ever for the past sixyears.
It feels like each time I teach.
You want to say something aboutthat in class.
You want to say, hey, man, Ifeel like this is, I'm not
saying you should do this, likeno, no, you ever get the urge to
, to, to no, because no, becauseI wanted to have, I want
(19:51):
something to happen.
If it's gonna happen, you knowwhat I mean.
I don't want them to be somindful of it that they're
polite.
You know like I want, you knowI want it to happen because I
feel like you know it'll be likea great and I can handle
anything that happens in theclass.
You know I'm just saying like,as it would a bird's eye view.
It just seems like the classroomand students are becoming more
(20:14):
sensitive to things, that thatthat they don't like, or things
that makes them uncomfortable.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure,for sure, which just makes it
really hard to do my job.
No, man, it's the best part ofthe job.
I think it is.
It is.
It's the best part of the job,especially when you see students
(20:36):
break through that barrier ofdiscomfort.
You know, yeah, yeah, I knowyou got to go, but I think I use
or somebody pops off, yeah.
Or somebody pops off, yeah,yeah, and says some stuff that
makes everybody Because theydon't see each other in class,
like I see them.
Yeah, I see the whole room.
Yeah, you know, so I see whensomebody says something and
somebody in the back of them isjust like, oh, my goodness, well
(20:59):
, so I'm thinking so in mymulticultural class it's only 12
people in the room.
So we teach in this boardroomwhere everybody's facing each
other.
You know, and I think I want todo that for all of my classes
Make them face each other so Ican walk in between them.
You know, especially if youhave a baby program, like y'all,
or you have that much people ina class Our program's been
(21:23):
around yeah, yeah, yeah, no,when you have that adolescent
program, you know that pre-teenprogram your program's all
pimply now your program's pimplyvoices dropping.
It's awkward.
Your program still has thatspotlight syndrome.
How old does your program haveto be before they come out of
(21:46):
puberty?
I mean, I'm not Just.
If I was just to throwsomething out there.
I feel like our program ispretty mature.
How old is your program?
15 years, let's just say ourprogram is diversified.
Let's just say that.
(22:06):
Let's just say that.
Let's just say that isdiversified.
Let's just say that.
Let's just say that.
Let's just say that it's a it's.
It's matched, it's a.
No, it's invested, it's a.
It's a known issue in ourprogram, known, it's a known.
Well, our program is 30something years old.
Man, and uh, oh, let's say man,yeah, hey, yeah, we got a good
program.
Man, we got a good program overthere.
(22:26):
Man, hey, but real quick,before you go, before you go,
man, I use one of your slides,that slide with the linear
timeline of american slavery anddiversity.
I just, I just popped it up onthe screen, man, it was.
Every time it was, it wasshocking, like the class was
shook.
You know, I was like man, y'alldon't spend time thinking of
(22:46):
this, but all the time I thinkabout that, I don't matter of
fact, listeners, listeners, ifyou can find, I wish there was a
way we could, we could post it.
I wish we had social media.
Yeah, I wish we had socialmedia.
Yeah, man, I guess we'll justnever know.
Uh, anyway, now listen, if youcan find there's this.
There's this graphic of this,like like kind of rainbow, and
(23:09):
it has like red, red, yellow andgreen sections of it and it
talks about like slavery, youknow, and integration and
segregation, and it's a timeline.
It's a timeline and you get tosee just how, like, how long
slavery was and how short, youknow, like the civil rights
period, because we think thatthis, this has been around
(23:31):
forever, like it hasn't.
Yeah, oh well, you, you, youwould think that it's.
It happened so long ago, solong ago.
Yeah, yeah, people saw the, theline, the timeline.
They were like oh man, my, myparents were born, parents were
born in this yellow.
My grandparents were born inthis yellow.
My grandparents were bornslaves.
(23:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ipointed out so we were all born
right around this green area,so for us, everything is good.
Man Shiloh's looking at yourcoffee, like, can I have some
please?
Definitely not, oh, man, anyway, anyway, yeah, man, yeah, so,
(24:16):
all right, let's do somecheckouts.
Man, I really it's raining overhere, man, it's like pouring,
ironing over here, which makesit extremely hard to like be in,
to be in my office, especiallywhen especially when no students
come, you know, like when it'sjust me hanging out in the
office getting some work done.
I look outside, man, I see therain.
I'm like, yeah, I would just goahead on taking that right here
(24:38):
, man, I wish I could take a nap.
Man, I gotta run to thisfucking meeting, um, but, uh,
yeah, maybe good weekend.
Hopefully kian does well and wecan go to the arcade this
weekend.
We've been trying to get intoWhat'd you say, bud?
What'd you say to me?
Tell us, shiloh, give us yourwisdom.
(25:00):
Yeah, hopefully he does well sowe can go to the arcade.
He does well in school.
Well, we just wanted to listenbetter, man, listen better and
be more respectful and be morehonest.
(25:21):
You know what you have to do.
You have to beat him, beat him.
Yeah, you have to beat him.
I know, I know you have to beathim.
You have to beat him, beat him.
Yeah, you have to beat him.
Yeah, I know, I know you haveto beat him.
Yes, I know, I know.
I just got to look him dead inthe eye.
Yeah, yep, this is for your owngood.
It's because I love you.
Yeah, it's because I love you.
(25:43):
Casually talking about beatingkids Casually triggering,
casually talking about beatingkids at a party, casually
triggering.
Man, I was in a meeting oncewhere it was a bunch of brown
people in a meeting and you know, somebody who wasn't brown, you
know got preheated aboutwhoopings and how abusive it was
(26:05):
, you know.
And let's just say, the meetingtook a turn.
It took a turn and I was firstyear faculty member, so I was
like I'm not tenured enough forthis, for this risk.
And charlotte was looking at melike daddy no, not daddy, not
daddy, that's not daddy.
Though when did he get theblonde hair from?
(26:27):
Did your other boys have blondehair?
I don't remember them havingblonde hair, definitely not.
He just came out platinum.
Alright, well, let me finish mybeet juice.
Man, you make it to yourmeeting.
Your poop about to be so red.
(26:48):
Hey, man, you ever fed yourkids beets?
Uh, yeah, it's horrifying.
Lindsay would make these, likeyou know, it's horrifying.
Oh my gosh, bro, it'shorrifying.
Oh, okay, alright, it'sshocking.
It's shocking.
It shocks the system.
Uh huh, he's like oh okay, allright, this is his insides.
(27:09):
It's shocking, it's shocking,it shocks the system.
Hey, last night Kyra woke upand said daddy, my ear is
hurting.
And I looked him bold face inthe eye and said okay, dude, go
back and lay down.
And he looked at me and saiddaddy, that's not going to solve
the problem.
It was like two o'clock in themorning.
Yeah, he's too old for that.
He's like.
I was like, oh, you're right, Ineed medicine.
(27:31):
I need medicine.
What is wrong with me?
You ever blood this with yourkids and they be like daddy,
help me find it.
And you be like all right, I'mgoing to look for it.
You don't need that, bro, I'mnot looking.
(27:54):
Dad, can you help me?
Can you help me find my gate?
Dad, can you help me find myweapon for my power rangers?
Yeah, man, I'm gonna look forit real quick.
Yeah, hold on, hold on, youlook, you look, you look and
I'll look in the other room,yeah, yeah, because they have.
They have no concept of time oranything.
A guy was waking up.
He's waking up.
He looked at me like, how isthat going to solve the problem?
My mind went to man, if he cando that type of thinking at 2.30
(28:19):
in the morning, I was like, ohyeah, trouble.
Yeah, something's really wrong.
Anyway, all right, y'all, we'llsee y'all next week.
You.
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