August 30, 2024 • 66 mins
Discover the intriguing world of collegiate student-athletes versus non-athletes and hear how "NARPs" navigate their academic lives differently. We dive into the therapeutic magic of Dungeons & Dragons, exploring how this innovative approach is transforming therapy sessions and even gaining traction among faculty members.
Finally, we tackle the playful yet real struggles of parenting, from financial hurdles to the chaos of youth sports. Laugh along as we share anecdotes about coaching toddler soccer teams and preserving precious family memories through videos and pictures. We also discuss the resilience needed in both athletic and therapeutic settings and our ambitious goal to redefine and innovate therapy for a global audience. Don’t miss our light-hearted banter about podcast scheduling, personal errands, and a humorous tale involving Kofi’s knack for alerting monsters in tense situations.
If you have any questions about any counseling related topics or would like the twins to share their thoughts about a particular counseling case - reach out with the info below:
https://thetwintherapists.com/
Instagram: thetwintherapists
Contact: thetwintherapists@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
all right, man, all right, hey, man, welcome back to
the cast y'all.
So I'm a little stuffy man, alittle nasally, so if that
irritates y'all, then just dealwith it.
You know, or talk, or talk, youknow.
(00:30):
So, man, we're going to startwith a little check-in Because I
feel like it's been a whilesince we've seen y'all First off
.
First off, we're going to do alittle check-in, we're going to
do a little topic and then we'regoing to do a checkout.
It's going to be a short onetoday because juice coming in
hot, because he's a big man oncampus, I'm a busy boy dressed
and he is stressed for time, fortime is pressed.
(00:54):
I mean he has a lot of thingsand a lot of people to do with.
So you got to hurry, man, hey,but All right.
So, uh, man, you wait, wait,hold on, hold on, hold on.
So when you use that voice inyour mind, who's in your mind?
(01:15):
Love that dude man, yeah, man,love that dude God man.
So for y'all who don't know, Imean it's pretty much everybody
but Mr Farmer was our old band,our choir director.
Yeah, choir director.
He's kind of like a musicteacher, but he's our choir
director In elementary school,immaculate Heart of Mary in
(01:41):
Lafayette, louisiana.
Yeah, man, that's the school wewent to for seventh and eighth
grade, right, seventh and eighthgrade, yeah.
And then Holy Family beforethat, yeah, holy Family.
Graduates, man, yeah, man,macklehead Homer yeah, he would
maybe have to walk in the cracks.
Walk in the cracks, yeah, he,low-key, taught us about hygiene
.
Yeah, man, to be honest, yeah,he's really like.
(02:03):
That was really important tohim.
He passed away a couple yearsago, right A couple years ago,
yeah, man, a couple years ago.
Yeah, but that's what he wouldsay I can't talk, I'm pressed
for time, can't talk, pressedfor time.
Oh, man, rest in peace, mrFarman, anyway.
So, hey, we got to schedule anupdate, man.
So if you notice that thepodcast hadn't been coming out
(02:25):
on its regularly scheduledWednesday times and it's mainly
because you know, jews press fortime so I say we move it to
Fridays, man, fridays, I saywe're going to have the cast out
, at least for Friday.
I think that's a good idea.
Or do you want to do Sundays?
Sundays, at least for friday?
For friday, I think that's agood idea.
Or do you want to do sundays,sundays at least, for sunday, at
(02:49):
least, podcast.
Yeah, because it will be yetthat way.
Yeah, man, because, honestly,it's just like.
You know what it is dog like,what is it?
What is it?
What is it?
It's just life, man, it's justlife.
Yeah, hey, it's just life, hey,so hey, it's just life, it's
just life.
So, hey, speaking about life,man, do a little checking for us
.
Man, well, what's been going onfor you, dude, what you been
(03:09):
getting off into over there?
Dog, two things, two things.
One, baby Val went to meet theteacher today.
I told you about that, I toldyou about that.
That's wonderful.
Let me tell the listeners Dog,the listeners dog.
So you know, he's going topreschool in the same school
that Kian went to.
And so when we walked in, youknow, people were like you know
(03:33):
Kian's brother, you know, andyou just feel that no identity,
no identity, you know.
But that's cool.
Valen is different than Kian.
Kian's like class president,he's like.
You know what I mean.
Valen dog, wait, wait, wait,president.
He's like.
You know what I mean valentine,does keon want that like?
Does he want class presidentstatus?
No, like, is he like?
Is he like that's just who I am?
No, I don't think he thinksabout that.
I, I just think that that's hisidentity, you know.
(03:55):
It's just like he's a, he's aleader, you know.
And it's like natural.
You know what I mean.
Hey, that's a nice cup.
That's a nice cup, bro.
That's a nice cup, go Cajuns,go Cajuns.
Anyway, anyway, long story short, bro, man, man, his teacher,
man.
So Keon was in, I don't knowwhat you call it, but he was in
(04:16):
the last pre-K before you go tokindergarten, right?
So he's in kindergarten.
This year, pre-k four Keon's inkindergarten Val.
This year, pre-k four keens inkindergarten.
Valentine started in pre-k three, right, so we get there.
So valentine's class is rightacross the hall from kean's,
from where kean's class wasright.
And his teacher came out andyou know she was like it's, his
(04:36):
teachers are really nice man,yeah.
And when she's, when keanstarted, her husband, right.
So he started in the fall.
Her husband passed away in thespring.
How old is she?
She's in her 70s.
I want to say Okay, okay, okay,okay.
But anyway, man.
And so she, you know, sheteaches it with her sister.
And she came up to us and shewas like, how's Kian doing?
(05:00):
And we told him.
She was like, give him twoweeks and he's gonna be running
that school, you know, and sowe're laughing and joking.
She's like you know what he did.
And then she started, like shestarted to get teary-eyed and I
was like I was like what youknow, what did he do?
Did he punch someone?
Yeah, like what did he do?
No, but she, like she was likeevery morning, you know, class
would start.
(05:20):
Before class started, he wouldcome up to me, grab my face and
go do you know how much I loveyou?
And she was like she just man,she was losing it in there.
She was like I miss him so much.
It's like dog.
You could just tell how muchshe needed that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dog, hearingyour kids doing stuff like that
(05:40):
for other people?
Yeah, gosh, that you don't tellthem to do that, you don't.
Yeah, yeah, like I, I neverknew he did that and he never
told me he did that.
They never said he did that.
You know, hold on, man,somebody's cutting onions in
here.
Hold on, no, no, somebody cutthe ventilator on, gosh,
(06:01):
somebody's.
Somebody's cutting onions rightin the age of x system.
Gosh, uh, nah, man, but it'sjust, it was just so dope man.
And you know valent go see theteacher and you know valent is,
valent is like valent is supersharp.
He's like very quiet, you know,but like you know.
And so he's in there lookingaround, you know, just like
(06:22):
looking around, like you want tomeet your teacher.
He's like, yeah, goes up to histeacher, he knows his teacher.
His teacher is a friend of ours, you know.
I said I asked him to smile fora picture, didn't smile.
He's like.
He's like I'm here, when do Istart, you know?
But then all of the stuff inthere, man, we get in the car,
(06:42):
he completely cracks open,joking, laughing.
I'm like, man, you better bringthat personality to school.
Man Toby is sitting there likeKen was awesome darling.
I never heard him talk before.
He's more like a cat.
I don't know if he's a wolf,he's with us or against us.
(07:04):
I don't know if he's like he'sa loof, he's with us or against
us.
I don't know if he's for us oryeah.
And then the other one, realquick, but is uh, I was late.
I was late to to the uh to thecast because, um, my uh, one of
our old students and mysupervisee is doing uh, he's
doing like dnd therapy and solike there's a dragon super to
prepare for it.
(07:25):
He's like you know, the facultywas like, well, it's becoming
more and more popular in thatarea, you know, more of our
students want to do it.
So we said, hey, what you mean,do it like they want to.
They want to do like grouptherapy, doing dnd and more more
.
I was talking to one of mystudents yeah, more clinics
around our areas asking for that, you know, and allowing it to
(07:46):
happen, you know, and so hewants to base kind of his
practice on it, you know, and so, um and so, and so anyway, the
faculty was like, well, whydon't you take us through a
campaign?
And so he's going to take usthrough a campaign, I think
starting next week.
Man, yeah, yeah, and so we getthat experience of doing it, so
we can also teach other studentsand also, you know, be able to
(08:09):
to like experience what we'venever done that before, like
we've never done dnd or anythinglike that.
Yeah, because we were, uh,because we were athletes,
because we were athletes, yeah,we were athletes.
Yeah, yes, yeah, we were one ofthe narps.
Yeah, man for the, for the, forthe audience, if you don't know
this, every single collegiatestudent athlete called you a
(08:32):
narp if you weren't a collegiatestudent athlete and a narp is a
non-athletic regular person.
Just let that sink in.
Not a judgment.
It's not a judgment.
It's just a judgment.
You know why?
Because everybody was goodenough to play for their youth
soccer team and everybodyconsidered themselves an athlete
(08:54):
.
Until you get to college and ifyou ain't playing in college,
you ain't a real athlete.
You know what it was?
For me, it wasn't even aboutathletics.
It was about people who, no,you know what it was?
For me, it wasn't even aboutathletics.
It was about people who weren'tstudent athletes saying that
their college experience washard.
(09:17):
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You mean you went to class thefull week.
You weren't traveling onWednesday, thursday, friday Wait
, you didn't get in from an awaygame at 2 am and still have to
make it to your 8 am class onMonday.
I'm sorry.
What were you doing between 3and 9?
Because I was at practice andstudy hall.
You mean you had all this timeto do your homework.
(09:39):
I'm sorry, you got your timeand your days and your hours.
I'm sorry.
Oh, you weren't at the trainersat 530 in the morning.
All right, man, I'm not sayingall that, I'm just saying
there's different experiences.
(10:00):
That's what I'm saying.
All he's saying is that yourlife is easy and you have
nothing to complain about.
That saying about that's,that's not.
That's not what I'm saying.
I hear you, I, loud and clear.
Loud and clear.
Y'all can't see his face.
Y'all can't see his face, but I, I, I get them.
All of my eyes are winking.
Yeah, man, nah, for real, forreal, yeah, I would.
There's something that I wish,I wish we could have been a part
(10:22):
of.
We just never had theopportunity to.
Yeah, dog, and it's so.
Anyway, we're doing characterdevelopment.
I can't tell you anything aboutmy character, because people are
listening.
Oh, you're making your owncharacter.
Oh, yeah, I know exactly whichcharacter I'm going to be.
Oh, yeah, I know exactly whichcharacter.
What An Etton?
(10:44):
Yeah, that actually makes a lotof sense.
Yeah, yeah, that actually makesa lot of sense.
I don't know.
But no, yeah, yeah, mycharacter, jay, is a man.
Just why can't you say anythingabout the character?
No, I can't.
I can't Because there's someelements about my character that
, if revealed, revealed, wouldcomplicate the situation that we
(11:07):
have.
Cesar, this is more complicated.
See, see, see, see, yeah, I,just there's levels, you know,
and and my bad, because I.
I used the singular wordcharacter.
It should be plural.
(11:27):
Yeah, I wasn't gonna correctyou.
You know, that's all I'm gonnasay.
Nah, hey, but for real it's,it's fun, like, for real it's
fun.
And it is also like you know,because we're talking about,
like, the therapeutic benefitsof like man it's rich.
It's rich, huh, rich in thebenefits, man, rich in the
benefits, maybe maybe off air.
I need to talk to you aboutgetting my just I don't know.
(11:49):
Uh, my student was talkingabout it and it'd be cool if he,
if I, could connect him withsomebody who's in the thick of
actually doing dnd therapy.
You know, I think we have, like, maybe more of an underground
community here in Lafayette, butyou were just talking about it.
Yeah, no, my supervisor wouldgladly provide consultation
(12:11):
services for a small fee.
What's the fee?
What's the fee?
What's the fee?
Do I have to stand out in themiddle of I-35 saying UMHB is
the place to be?
Like what?
No, no, like what, no, no, no,it's unrelated, it's unrelated
to the university, no, no, it'sjust more of a personal take,
(12:32):
more personal personal take.
Yeah, yeah, what kind of?
What level of rocks you'regoing to need me to shovel to
your backyard, like what, what,nah, man, it's, it's fun, so,
anyway, that's, that's, that's,uh, that's me, man, what you,
what you up to?
Uh, man, cool, anyway, let'smove to the topic.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
(12:53):
So, uh, nah, man, I'm, uh man,I y'all.
It's like, uh, yeah, it's, it'sa, it's a mixture of things,
man.
So I started here, you startedyour little jobby job.
Yeah, hey, bro, hey man, it isthe most refreshing and
(13:17):
fulfilling start to a job thatI've ever had, not in the sense
of like, oh, this is new andthis is fresh and this is the
best ever.
You know, it's just veryinteresting to be at a place and
know that, oh, this is the lastplace that I'm going to, this
(13:39):
is the last place that I'm goingto work at.
You know, like I couldlegitimately be in this office
for the next 30 something years.
You know, hopefully not thatoffice, but well, no, I mean, I
don't know, man.
You know, I don't know, ourprogram is pretty stable in the
building that it's in and youknow, we may move buildings.
(14:00):
Yeah, blah, blah, blah.
But but it's just interesting,man, because, like you know, it
makes me say like, oh, I want,like I should probably like,
save some stuff.
You know, I may even like startsome new traditions.
You know, here, pretty soon,you know, like, every first day
of the semester, do something,you know.
Or maybe take a picture ofmyself.
(14:21):
You know like I want to take apicture of myself.
I want to take a picture ofmyself in my office, just me,
just by myself.
So when I'm gray-haired andolder and whatever, I can look
and bust it up, yeah, man.
Or actually finding some lightin the process to care for
(14:41):
myself and coming out lookingbetter than ever, actually doing
what we wrote in the books,actually doing what we wrote in
the books.
Yeah, man, not man, but likehave that.
You know, just, I don't know,man, it's yeah, it's just
interesting starting a newsemester, you know, yeah, man,
it's cool man, and you had yourfirst classes.
So you met your students andtalked to them and well, yeah, I
(15:02):
mean to call what you doteaching would be disrespectful.
It's more of like it was moreof like a guiding, it's more of
like a hurting.
It's hurting.
I was thinking more likepamphlet.
I was thinking more like Idon't teach.
Yeah, I don't teach.
Yeah, what I do is I downloadthe PowerPoints from the author
(15:28):
and just, you know, I just putthe slides on.
No, no, no, you're one of thoseteachers where you download the
book PowerPoints, give them tothe students and then you have
the students sign up for days toteach the lecture.
Yep, where they're going to bepresenting, where they present
the PowerPoint, where theypresent the PowerPoint, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ijust hang out.
(15:49):
Yeah, I hang out 16 weeks.
Yeah, that's what I do.
I hang out and you give them anice presentation grade and a
nice, you know, yep, yeah,that's cool man, yeah, yeah,
cool man, yeah, yeah, yeah,that's cool.
Yeah, I bet they love that.
Yeah, nah, man, it's good, man,it's good, it's good to be in a
place where, like, the studentsare you know, it's lively man,
(16:12):
like students, are therestudents coming to the office,
you know, like actually haveconversations with them?
It's pretty dope, man, it'spretty dope, but uh, anyway, so,
yeah, so that's like the, youknow, professional stuff, uh,
but yeah, the personal stuff.
Man, kyra got braces the otherday.
Yeah, I need to tell you, youjust sent us a picture, man, I
mean, I got the picture, but Iforgot to tell Linda that
(16:32):
yesterday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, his faceis growing and his teeth are
growing and there's too muchteeth in his face so it's like
overcrowding.
So there's like there's like aadult size teeth and baby size
teeth, just like growingtogether.
You know, like there's allkinds of all kinds of stuff, man
(16:55):
.
But, man, I was just talking toMegan about how, like you know,
we paid for braces.
You know, pay for braces, wegot insurance and stuff, but
like, we paid for our portion ofbraces and then like didn't
rock the boat on, like how arewe going to pay for our mortgage
?
And like, how are we going to?
You know, uh, yeah, like on a,on a personal level, to to be
(17:18):
because, man, if this would havehappened, if, man, if this
would have happened, if thiswould have happened back in like
2000 and you know 16, 17.
Like we wouldn't have had moneyto put gas in our cars, like we
wouldn't have had money to eat.
You know, like we, yeah, man,that's one of the things, dog, I
(17:38):
would suggest.
Like you know, I'm not sayingthis for, like, the listener,
but, like I know, for me,because I keep track.
I have an Excel spreadsheetwhere I keep track of all of the
, everything, everything I spend.
You know what I mean, yeah, andeverything I owe, all of that
stuff.
I look back to my records of,like 2016.
And I can remember Before 2016.
(18:01):
Yeah, man, remember before 2016, like, yeah, man, I remember
being in the parking lot of thegas station, uh, in in thibodeau
, louisiana, uh, thinking I canonly put this much gas because
I'm that much gas to get home,because I know, because I know
we need to get groceries.
(18:22):
Yeah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh,yeah, it just reminds you to
come up, man, and I think,honestly, it makes you like,
when you're standing in youroffice, your forever office, you
know whatever you know, like Idon't know.
I feel like it makes youappreciate the journey a little
bit more.
It does, man, it does it, itgenuinely does.
Like I'm in, I'm in a placewith a window, with enough money
(18:45):
to do what we want with youknow, to you know, live the type
of life I want to live.
Huh, excuse me, well, it's justbecause Daddy-O's double
dipping over there.
Yeah, what do you mean?
Yeah, you double dipping.
No, dog, don't do me like that.
My standard contract is morethan yours.
No, I mean, it's just the truth.
No University values me morethan you.
(19:08):
No, no, I would suggest thatyou take a look at my recent pay
stub I have.
You'd be surprised.
You'd be surprised.
I was surprised by how littleit was.
Yeah, it's like they are payinghim peanuts.
(19:30):
Wow, I don't see survival overthere.
Wow, his kids are eatingpeanuts.
Wow, peanut butter, peanuts,soap what other stuff, man?
Yeah, peanut brittle as brittleas that bank account man, hey,
jt, hey, we need some money, man, we need some money.
(19:50):
Private school is expensive,man, yeah, you made those.
You made that kid braces.
You made Kyra's braces out ofclothes.
I got some of daddy's ranchesand some of wires that he used
at the.
Yeah, my daddy be saying that.
He don't even say wire, he saysWI-WI-WI.
(20:12):
Why would you give me that?
Wi had to give me some WI.
Yeah, nah, man, but yeah, it'syeah, so just stuff like that.
You know, man, we got soccerstarting.
Man, I'm coaching Kyra's team.
We got black football starting.
Black football starting onThursday, soccer starting next
week.
We got golf finishing up.
(20:32):
I forgot about that.
Yeah, valens, start soccer nextweek.
Man, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,first soccer game, first soccer
team.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Save the jerseys, man.
Save the jerseys and put themin the shadow box.
Put them in the shadow box,save the jerseys and save the
cleats.
Yeah, that's going to be nicefor the Doug.
(20:52):
You know what's funny, dog?
I don't know if anybody elsedoes this, but I think of
everything they do and the lifeand moments, and I will say this
to myself, dog, I'll say dangthis, this gonna be nice for
that, 30 for 30.
This is gonna this, this isgonna be nice.
(21:13):
No, look, they're playingbasketball.
Let me go take a video realquick.
I submitted to hdn.
When they ask you get any home,I guess I do.
It's all categorized.
Let me see.
You did drop box link.
No, no, I'm, I'm, I do, I dothat.
I'm so legitimately do that.
I'm selfish.
What I I think about.
Oh, this will be nice to lookback on when, like you know, me
(21:35):
and megan are empty nesters andthe kids are living their life
and it's just us two and we'reyou know we'll be not leaving
that house.
Well, we're drinking some wineand we're watching some scary
movies or whatever to like.
Go through the videos, man.
I want to start this video thingwhere, like, the kids are young
enough to do it to, where, likeat the end of their first day
of school to ask them like, hey,how was school?
(21:56):
You know who are your friends?
Oh, yeah, like, what do youwant to be when you grow up?
You know, yeah, yeah, blah,blah, blah.
You know, and keep it up.
You know, I should do a KeenStar in kindergarten, I should
do like a kindergarten.
Do it, do it, do it, man Bro, Ipromise you you will not regret
it.
I started it with Cairo, likewith just pictures, you know,
(22:26):
and just to hurting him, youknow.
So I was like all right, dude,let's go get some Tylenol, right
.
So we find some Tylenol and Iwas like what's the dosage here,
you know?
So I look at the dosage and Igot like, you know, it was like
six to nine dosage.
Six to nine-year-olds, six andnine year olds was like, you
know, 10 milliliters, a millionsyringes, right, turkey base.
(22:47):
So I was like all right, cool.
But then I was like wait, kyra,how much do you weigh?
He's like 80 pounds.
I was like 80 pounds.
I was like that's like 12 to 13year old.
Uh, so should I give him a sixto seven dose?
You gave him the six and hegave him the six-year-old dosage
, that Tylenol.
Looked at that fever and waslike, yeah, we're going to need
(23:11):
another shot of that.
Jay, yeah, we're going to needanother shot.
He heard that Tylenol sizzling.
Hey, man, I had to give thatboy 15 milliliters of Tylenol.
Man, I give that boy 15milliliters of Tylenol.
Man, what do I have to take somuch of it, but it still hurts.
That's it.
You need a half gallon.
(23:32):
A half gallon of Tylenol justto soothe the toothache.
Jeez, 2% Tylenol Ridiculous,ridiculous, that's right, it's
wild man, wild man.
So, yeah, yeah, man, hey, uh.
So kofi's daycare, uh, adoptedthis like soccer program for,
(23:54):
like kids, what's it called?
Like, like tots, kick, kicksfor something like that,
something like that in batonrouge we play.
In baton rouge, cairo playedfor happy, happy feet and so.
So this one is somethingsimilar like Happy Feet or Tots
or something.
But you could start at twoyears old.
Yeah, man, this is about to bean absolute.
It's like herding cats at twoyears old.
(24:14):
Oh, yeah, for sure, I cannotwait, I know.
That's why I didn't let ourkids do any of that stuff.
I just didn't want any badhabits, you know.
So we, from the get-go, juststarted Bad habits.
Yeah, I just.
It's hard to get bad habits ifyou're watching film three days
a week and you're practicingfour days a week.
I know, I know, but you'regetting a thousand touches a day
(24:36):
.
No, you're putting me in thesethings and these volunteer
coaches.
You know how it is.
No, that's why I coach everysingle team.
I'm an actual nationallylicensed coach.
Yeah, I need to see credentials.
There was no tots for kids, nokicks for kicks or nothing, just
(25:00):
straight up training.
This is the first year whereKyra's going to be playing
soccer.
We ain't out there to have fun,nothing, hey bro, just straight
up training.
This is the first year whereKyra's going to be playing
soccer.
Oh, we ain't out there to havefun.
Yeah, the previous years it'sbeen about like everybody have a
good time, let's go have funNow.
Take his socks.
Yeah, Take his socks, hey, hey,hey, it ain't going to be no
(25:23):
helping you up, because you knowit ain't going to be no.
Oh, let's just stop the scoringbecause the guys and no
kneeling when somebody gets hurt.
Yeah, we running the score up.
If you can't handle it, get offthe field.
Get off the field.
Oh man, same thing with theparents.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,hey.
Same thing with the parents.
(25:44):
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,if you're trying to coach on the
sideline, come volunteer coach.
I'm by myself out here.
Okay, can we get in?
Can we get into the topic acouple times, because we're
already over time.
Let's make a transition intothe topic.
Thank you, thank you.
(27:41):
So, um, I think I shared alittle bit too much in class,
bro.
What do you mean, man?
I think I.
Oh no, let the people knowwhich classes you're teaching
this semester, bro Theories andInternship, theories and
Internship.
You're only teaching twocourses, three courses, two
sections of Theories, one courseof Internship, oh, two sections
(28:02):
of the one section ofinternship.
I'm teaching a freshman classtoo, and it's fun.
So who did you hurt to teachfreshmen?
Who did you hurt?
It's fun, it's fun, yeah, it'sfun.
And there's also like psychstudents, so I can kind of
pollinate.
You know what I mean For y'allwho can't see him.
(28:23):
He's blinking profusely.
He's profusely blinking.
Nah, bro, how much did they payyou?
How much did they pay you tosay it's fun, enough, enough,
enough, nah.
But anyway, yeah, man, what youshare, bro, okay, man, bro, you
know we got that dog in us,right?
Yeah, yeah, it's, it's, it'sbeen classified.
(28:46):
It's been.
It's in the library of kindness.
Here's what I mean.
Here's what I mean.
Here's what I mean.
And I think the faculty you knowmy faculty and my students who
know me, you know like I'm, I'm,I'm pretty nice, but also I can
be, yeah, man, I could.
Yeah, it's in there.
(29:07):
Yeah, the only reason why thiscast doesn't have one of those
like explicit marks on it isbecause Jude works for a private
school.
If you didn't work for aprivate school, it'd be an
explicit podcast.
No, it's not.
It's not.
It's not that it's Explicitpodcast.
No, it's not that I could beruthless.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I can be merciless.
(29:29):
Yeah, and I think that there isa part of me that part of me
has allowed us to be successfulRight To some extent.
Yeah, because it's not aboutclimbing ladders, like, it's not
about, like, climbing overpeople.
It's about having the mentality, that Kobe mentality.
(29:50):
Hey, it prickles people, itprickles people, it totally does
.
It totally does.
But I feel like it's morebecause they can sense it, you
know.
But like, oh, yeah, like,there's a, there's an absolute
part of me that is like astraight up dog.
That's like I'm going to writethis book.
You know what I mean.
Well, you know how I know thatI'm going to outlast you on this
(30:14):
treadmill.
It's because I'm willing to die, yeah, like a little bit of
that.
A little bit of that, that'show I know I don't think you're
willing to die.
But you know, that's how I knowI don't think you're willing to
die.
But but, but you know what dogthat tenacity comes in in
therapy.
You know when I'm where I'mlike if somebody comes into the
office.
You know and we've talked aboutthis somebody comes into the
office like, oh yeah, like I'm,I'm willing to go there.
(30:37):
Yeah, like I, I don't sacrifice, sacrifice, I don't care, I
don't care about, I don't careabout looking cool, I don't care
about none of that stuff.
Like we going there, if I haveto, I will drag you into
awareness, kicking and screaming, even if you hate me because of
it.
Right, like, use that, no, no,use that energy.
(30:59):
Are you trying to get me to runthrough a wall right now?
What you trying to do?
But for first year students,that doesn't sound therapeutic.
It doesn't.
It doesn't sound therapeuticand I didn't share anything.
But I definitely talked aboutmy playing soccer experience,
(31:20):
because I kind of talked abouthow I you know how I was, what
we used to do, what you used todo to people, the people's sons,
to their children, to theirlittle blessings, how we used to
be in the field Just absolutecriminals out there, man.
(31:42):
Yeah, just absolute criminalsout there, man.
I think it changed the waystudents may have seen me and
seen my approach in therapy.
Yeah, it's like you know how adog's been nice to you and then
they bite you and thenforevermore, you're like ah, I
(32:03):
don't know if I it's not justthat.
Like, ah, I don't know if it'snot just that dog.
I don't know if I trust any dog.
Yeah, but but it's the, becauseit's the, I think it.
What it does is and it's noteven about me, right?
I think it changes theperception of like counselors as
being soft and gooey.
Yeah, you know what I mean likewarm and gooey you, yeah, you
know what I mean Like warm andgooey.
You know to like to like honestand hard and resilient, and you
(32:30):
know what I mean Like.
There has to be a little bit ofthat in you to keep doing this.
What did you share with it,though?
Like, what'd you share with it?
No, I don't want to say it in acast, you know, because, well,
because you, why not?
Well, because there's stillsome investigations.
Just leave the people.
No, I just talked about some ofthe stuff we did in the field.
(32:50):
Some of the stuff we said inthe field, some of the things I
would think about otheropponents.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know whatI mean and like how, what I
would need to say to myself inorder to, like you know, get out
there and do things that, whenI think back on, I can't even
imagine how my body was able todo.
(33:12):
You know what I mean Because ofthe mentality I had and like it
and loved it, loved it from anearly age, and I feel like, in a
lot of ways, I'm like Keon.
In a lot of ways, I'm likeValen too, just like at my core,
(33:33):
like I'm doing this for us.
Yeah, you know.
And also, I don't care, like Idon't care about tiredness, I
don't care about ego, like Idon't care about, like about,
about tiredness.
I don't care about ego, I don'tcare.
You know what I mean.
There's something and I thinkthat you, I think you need to be
that way, a little bit as atherapist.
Yeah, you know, in order to dothe work you need to do, like
(33:56):
you gotta, in a lot of ways, yougotta be cold.
Yeah, you know cold, yeah, youknow okay, but in what ways,
though?
Like, like, in what ways do youneed to be cold as a therapist
man, like I mean, like you'reabout to make a reflection that
you know is gonna hurt thisperson.
You're about to make a summary,you're about to tie some things
together, you like, and it's,it's, it's things like this,
(34:20):
right, just okay, just one.
I got two things.
Yeah, this right, okay, justone thing.
I got two things.
One thing right.
A client just shared their abusestory.
Right, hard to listen to, dog,hard to listen to.
But you can also see how theyhaven't taken responsibility for
their life.
(34:40):
Watch it, watch it For theirlives, watch it After the
experience, right, and while thetraumatic experience was
traumatic, you know, and youdon't want to watch it.
Some listeners are like where'sthe abuse?
(35:01):
Was your fault?
It was no, no, that's not it.
But you not takingresponsibility and putting your
kids in a position to where theyare being hurt because of your
lack of awareness is your fault.
(35:21):
Yeah, you know.
And choosing partners, you knowthat repeat patterns.
That is your fault, you knowyou not doing something about it
is your fault.
And I think like to make thatturn in therapy.
You know, because you caneasily sit there and process and
(35:44):
empathize and talk and beintrospective and and just do
all of the listening and hearingstuff, you know, without
actually making them make theturn.
You know it takes a little bitof a coldness to go, like I'm.
You know this is going to hurtbecause I care.
(36:04):
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I wouldn't be, I wouldn'tbe saying this stuff If I
didn't care, if I didn't care,if I didn't think, if I didn't
think that it would bebeneficial to there.
But anyway, what I noticed inclass was when I shared a little
bit of the darker, you know,part of who you, yeah, if, who I
am, uh-huh, if it feels or feltlike students brushed up
(36:31):
against it and was like I don'tknow, I think they, I'm afraid I
don't want them to have thisexperience of like I couldn't do
that, oh, yeah, but dog, not alot of people could do that.
I couldn't.
One, I couldn't do that andthen two like, like, like I
(36:52):
don't want to, like I don't wantto, I don't want to become that
, you know.
If it means that and you don'thave to, I'm just saying.
I'm just saying, yeah, thatlike it's unavoidable sometimes
and the stuff I say in sessionman, yeah, yeah, man, we be
(37:12):
getting into it.
Uh, yeah, no.
So in class the other day, onestudent was like, uh, you know,
one of the one of their biggestfears is failure.
And everybody's like yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I just flippantly said, oh,huh, it's inevitable, yeah,
(37:34):
right.
And the class was like, huh,yeah.
I was like, yeah, yeah, you'regoing to.
Yeah, I wouldn't be surprisedif you failed every single day.
Yeah, and they looked at melike what?
Like yes, yeah, this isn't,this isn't like science where,
like, you have to have like, theright amount of calcium and the
(37:57):
right amount of you know, uh,we didn't have periodic tables
at emaggle heart, america.
So, just, you know, help us out, yeah, but you know it, help us
out, but you know it's notFalse right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
False right, false right, falseleft, false left, yeah, that's
it.
Nah, man, but it's art.
So, like you know, you're goingto fail and it takes a little
(38:20):
bit.
You got to have a little bit ofsomething, got to have a little
bit of something, got to have alittle bit of fire, got to have
a little bit of grit, yeah, tostep on that ledge.
To step on that ledge and fail,yeah, you know.
And then step back up and tryagain and get roasted or like,
or put the whole therapeuticrelationship in jeopardy because
(38:43):
of that failure.
Yeah, because you need to saythis and you need to be
congruent, or because like, orbecause like, maybe you didn't
need to say it and maybe yousaid it and it was truly hurtful
, yeah, and you didn't mean itto be hurtful, but it genuinely
was hurtful for the person.
And now you got to you hurtthat person, you hurt, you hurt.
There was a rift in therelationship.
(39:05):
You hurt that person, you hurt,you hurt.
There was a rift in therelationship and now you got to.
You have to own it.
You have to own it.
And if you meant it, if youmeant what you were saying and
you truly believe what you weresaying was the right thing to
say, you kind of have to livewith.
I said, I meant what I said andI said what I meant.
And if it hurts you, thenthat's kind of where we are in
(39:30):
our relationship.
We are, yeah, it doesn't meanthat we can't continue, but
that's where we are in ourrelationship.
Now you know what I really feeland how I really think.
Like, yeah, can we stillmaintain a relationship based on
that, you know, and not not dolike the, you know the peddling
back, like, oh, that hurt you.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't mean.
Let me rephrase it yeah, Ididn't, I didn't mean to hurt
you, but I still think what Isaid was was valid.
(39:51):
Yeah, you know, like, yeah, canwe live with that?
Yeah, what do we do now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And what do we do not?
Because in everyday life, likeyou leave well, so, so there's,
yeah, if you're on the elevator,somebody says something like
that, you're just like I'mgetting off on the next floor
and I'm out of here, I'm goingto take the stairs.
You know, like in therapy, youknow, I mean the clients can
(40:12):
leave anytime, sure, but hey,man, hey, hey, hey, you said
that in the first 15 minutes ofthe session.
Like we still got a good coupleminutes left.
Yeah, you know, like we stillgot 30 minutes left.
Like, are you going to leave orare we going to sit in this
discomfort.
You know, that's tough to do.
It takes a little bit of thatdog.
It's tough to do, man.
(40:32):
It's tough to do, yeah, man, ittakes a little bit of that kind
, yeah, man.
I had this one client on mycaseload who this isn't a big
thing, but we were talking aboutlike goals.
You know, this isn't a bigthing, but we were talking about
goals and the goals wererelated to being good enough or
(41:00):
to being an equivalent towhatever is good enough for that
person.
And so I just said in session,I was like huh, what made you
think you were ever good enoughto reach those goals, you know?
And he was like what do youmean?
I was like well, I mean, whatif you were never?
Like?
What if you're not?
What if you are not smartenough, strong enough?
What if you're not capable ofreaching those goals?
(41:22):
Like what if your level ofcapacity, of capacity is like
where you're at, you know, andyou're gonna like you're gonna
live, live with that, you'regonna.
That's just where you're gonnabe.
Like, I know you thought thatyou would be president of the
country, but you're not.
You don't have what it takes tobe the, you don't have the
(41:44):
moral flexibility or you can'tlive within the ambiguity to be
president Like you don't have.
You don't have that, you know,and you're realizing it and
you're running away from it.
Don't, don't run away from it.
You know just the idea of likeno, you are where you are, you
know, I know it's tough to hear,but you are where you are.
(42:07):
The idea of like, wrestling withthat, you know, yeah, like
being willing to get on the matand wrestle with that, with
clients.
You know, because it's so mucheasier to be hopeful and to be
like you can do whatever you putyour mind to.
You know, as opposed to youknow, and this is theoretically
sound like if you think aboutthe atlerian theory and how,
like, part of people's problemsis not accepting their
(42:29):
environment and accepting theirphysical body limitations, you
know what I mean.
Yeah, and like, amen, it's likethat with clinicians too,
though, man, it's like that withclinicians too, like some
clinicians, I know that theyprobably feel the pressure to
like, be this, like veryintrospective, like you know,
(42:51):
deep thinking, uh, you know,second level, second order,
change, third order it's a thirdorder man.
Nah, anyway, anyway, that's notin my books, but sometimes the
(43:13):
student, the clinician is justnot that skilled.
Yeah, bro, you can have all thetheory, you can have all the
experience you could do, but,like, you just are not skilled
enough to take someone to onelevel, to the next, to the next
level, and that's fine, it'sfine, it's fine, it's fine, man,
it's fine, it's fine.
But it's an awareness of thatideal and an acceptance of that
(43:38):
ideal.
Like, oh, okay, I'm not going tobe renowned in my city to do
this particular type of therapy.
That's so hard to accept.
I'm not saying, I'm not sayinglike I'm not going to be known.
I'm not saying like I'm doingthis because I want to be
(44:00):
renowned.
I actually don't care, I justwant to use my skills.
I am yeah, I know you are man,yeah, I am, and that's and
that's what's so hard to watchdog.
Hey, man, I'm spinning mywheels over here, I'm trying
hard, I'm trying my hardest.
It's the constant.
I need the accuracy.
I just want the people to knowno, but, but for real, but for
(44:22):
real.
It's like it's hard to.
It's hard.
I think it's hard to sit, maybe, with people when you say like
you know, hey, this is, this isyour limits, you know, but, but
anyway, look, hey, no, no, realreal quick, though.
Real quick.
What, nah, dog?
Seriously, man, like I, I'm notout here writing these books
and like working this hard tojust be sitting back on some
(44:45):
like humble high horse of, ohwell, if that's what the people
want, then the people are goingto buy the books and they don't.
Nah, man, I'm.
I'm trying to completely,completely shift the orientation
of psychotherapy, ofpsychotherapy.
I'm trying to have a particularbrand of therapy that is known
(45:10):
to be my brand, your brand, ourbrand of therapy.
When people get our books, whenpeople come to our conference
presentations, when people havethis idea of who we are, they
have a very nice, succinct ideaof, oh, this is what they are
known for.
(45:30):
Yeah, I'm not trying to hideand be some like you know, a
full professor at some likeuniversity that's like in the
shadows of you know, theprofession of the profession.
I'm not trying to be known on acity level or a region level.
I'm not trying to be thepresident of my state licensure
(45:58):
board.
I'm trying to be globally known.
But I feel like it is for like,and you tell me if I'm wrong,
but at least it feels like forme.
There's a higher purpose tothat.
It's for the money.
It's for the money, well, andalso Just the money.
It's just the money for me.
(46:20):
No, no, no, but for real,there's this higher purpose.
I feel like at least for me oflike I, I want people therapists
therapists who look like us,therapists who don't look like
us, therapists from mygeneration, new therapists
coming in to have the freedom todo therapy in a way that's
(46:42):
congruent for them.
Yeah, yes, because the way thatwe're trained is very much
unrecognized.
You can't see yourself in thetraining.
Yeah, you can't see yourself inthe faculty.
You can't see yourself in theauthors.
You know what I mean.
That's the thing that I program, and not to like big up.
(47:04):
Umhb man, because it's changed.
You guys are kind of falling offa little bit, but in the area
that we were Falling off, Ithink falling up is probably the
no, no, no, that's fine.
You know what's weird, dog,when you're so good, gravity
doesn't impact you, so whenyou're falling, it actually
feels a little like you'refalling up.
(47:26):
Yeah, you know, that's how goodyou see friends and family we
are.
This is the personification ofan echo chamber.
This is what it looks like.
That's what the facultymeetings are about Like we're
good, right, yeah, we're good,we're the best right, yeah, no,
we're the best, we're thegreatest in the world right, you
(47:52):
should see our, you should seeour agendas as who can make the
strongest thumbs up?
Whose thumbs up is the mostrigid?
Yeah, yeah, no, man, no.
But.
But seriously though, like umhbdid this man?
Our training was extreme, topnotch, notch, extreme, I would
almost say too hard in someinstances.
I felt like our professors weretrying to make powerhouse
(48:16):
clinicians.
It made the PhD a breeze, aabsolute breeze.
It made the PhD feel like isthis so, wait, hold on, this is
the caliber of clinicians we'reputting out in the country, but
these people don't even knowthat theoretical orientation.
What is happening here?
Wait, this is the norm.
But look, but not.
(48:37):
But not to not, not to say thatlike there aren't other
programs out there doing thework, you know, yeah, but I do
feel like there is this liketransition and you can feel it
happening in the field you knowof, like man.
When people say like the stigmais going down, I don't think it
(49:01):
has anything to do.
Well, I don't think it has asmuch to do with like research
and social media and stuff.
I think it has a lot to do withtherapists themselves changing
exactly, therapists themselvesbecoming and becoming more
themselves, more real, less likesynthetic.
(49:22):
Remember that.
Remember that person in the inthat person in that we were
doing the presentation and shewas like well, when I walk into
the door I check myself out ofthe door.
There's less of that happening.
There's less therapists outthere.
Therapists like that are gettingeaten alive in private practice
(49:44):
, getting eaten alive.
They're getting eaten alive inprivate practice, eating alive
man.
They're getting eaten alive bythe 2.5 single mom therapist who
had to get it how she lived fora while, who's been doing pop
culture therapy, realized thatshe needed to do some actual
hard work.
She did the work.
She brought all of that.
(50:04):
She's wearing all the scars,all the trauma, intercession,
all of that stuff, the divorces,the divorces.
Now she got a good man.
She got a good marriage.
She found a good church.
Her kids are six.
It's her second career.
(50:25):
Her second career.
She shows up in your theoriesclass.
She's from a good church.
Her kids are six.
It's her second career.
She shows up in your theoriesclass.
She shows up in private practicesmoking a Virginia Slims with a
dirty coffee cup to her right,a big, obnoxious Stanley cup to
the left.
You sit down and she go what'sup, what's up, what's up, that's
(50:50):
it.
That's there.
That's therapy now.
Okay, how can I see?
Welcome to the?
It's so clean in there.
You can hear people's shoesscuffing on the ground, the
linoleum is linoleum, theceiling is linoleum and the
(51:11):
Kleenex box is empty, empty,empty.
She got to go get a new onefrom the back somewhere.
They're not even using Kleenexanymore, they're using toilet
paper.
That's how good she is.
That is why we're writing booksto me.
(51:31):
That's why I'm writing books.
So, so that, so that isnormalized.
Yes, so that is okay.
So that's therapy.
Now, that's what it looks liketo be a therapist.
That's what it looks like.
You know, somebody, privatepractice, somebody who is not
out here, saying, hey, man, takecare of yourself.
Instead somebody's saying like,hey, take care of yourself.
Instead somebody saying like,hey, take care of yourself.
But what that really looks likeis hey, man, you got to work
two jobs.
(51:51):
Make sure you're taking care ofyour kids.
Maybe go with like four hoursof sleep, four or five hours of
sleep, you know, so you can makesure that your family is taken
care of while you're in graduateschool.
That's what Canva itself lookslike.
You got to do that for at leasttwo and a half, three years.
Then, before you can come out,keep showing up.
I'll keep showing up, you keepshowing up.
(52:11):
That's the people I'm training,that's the people I'm seeing,
that's what I'm writing for.
Are there students who's likehey, I want to get into D&D
therapy.
I don't even know where tostart.
Hey, I got you, I got you.
Now, look, it's gonna lookratchet, oh yeah.
But if we work out the kinks,you know, I don't, I don't want
somebody to come to me.
(52:32):
I don't want, I don't want astudent out there thinking, man,
it'd be really nice if I coulddo this type of therapy, and
then they come to me and I'd belike well, actually, um, a group
therapy, yeah, you really can't.
But what about confidentiality?
Hey, man, hey, this may be atopic for another time, man, but
I'm just, I'm curious aboutthat.
(52:52):
Like, do you think there's spacein this new generation of
therapy for, like you know, thenice, clean undergrad who goes
from undergrad to to master'sprogram, who maybe enters the
master's program at like, 22, 23years old, really hasn't
traveled, like hadn't really.
You know they're still withtheir like college, still with,
(53:14):
like their college sweetheart.
You know, like they, they comefrom these good homes, two
parent households.
You know all they want to do ishelp good church going family,
just want to help people pay thetaxes.
You think there's room forpeople like that in, like
today's version of therapy Forsure, dog.
For sure, for sure.
And also I don't know if yougot to get scuffed up.
(53:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, butthey'll see a particular type of
client.
They will.
They'll see a particular typeof client.
Hey, because the populationsees that from a mile away.
I'm not saying you got to go outand pick up a habit to make a
therapist.
No, you got to go get some hairin them, man, you got to run a
(54:05):
couple credit cards.
You gotta go.
You gotta go get, just touchsome hair in it, man, like you
gotta.
Yeah, you gotta run a couplecredit cards.
You gotta do some moneylaundering, man, like that's
your credit up a little bit,brush your credit up a little
bit.
Man, yeah, you gotta sell someused cars now you gotta.
You're good now.
You know when you're a goodtherapist, when, when your
credit score hits 300, that'swhen you're like, okay, I get, I
get it.
Now I can't do nothing, I getwhy someone would?
(54:26):
Nah, man, I just think thatlike, yes, there's room for
those type of clinicians, forsure, and you know, just to
bring it full circle, you know,obviously there's like students
from all over the place and alldifferent, you know.
But there's definitely timeswhere you know, when I share
(54:47):
some stuff like that, you cansee the students that's like
yeah, and some other studentsthat's like oh, oh, oh, oh, you
know, and like you know, youhave to let, you have to ease
them into that development.
And I think I steamrolled it.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, you know what I mean, butbut in an attempt, you know, to
do that aligns with our mission, you know, is what I see it.
(55:09):
It's like helping make theprofession more welcoming for
people who are little uncouth.
Yeah, yeah, people who comefrom a background that's like a
little non-traditional, you know, yeah, people who are coming
into this, who've seen somestuff.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And and and you don't feel likeyou want to talk about how to
(55:31):
get more like african-americantherapists out there.
You want to talk about how toget more therapists of color,
like out here, like, don't maketherapy white.
You know what I mean and Idon't mean.
I don't mean that in the senseof like, you know what I mean,
like white people.
(55:52):
I mean in the sense of, likethe ideal of whiteness, go on,
get whitey, go on, get out ofhere whitey.
I mean I mean this, this, this,this, this invisible culture of
whiteness.
Yeah, where, like you know whatI mean, and we talk about this
in the books all the time.
You know, but, like dog, I'mfighting for that in the books,
(56:16):
yeah, I'm fighting for that.
Well, I'm, I'm, I'm, yeah, Ican't believe, I can't believe
ACA is publishing our stuff.
Me either, man, I can't, man, Ican't.
I can't believe they let uswrite the way we write.
I can't believe they let usjoke.
I can't believe they let us.
Yeah, me, you know it, dog,carolyn baker, you know, like,
when she took us on theexecutive, you know, uh, I mean,
(56:37):
it's like dog.
And now with, like, the new crew, that they have a new crew,
yeah, there's a whole new crew.
Oh, man, it's like they get it,they get it, get it, they get
it, they get it, they get it,man, they get it, man, they get
it and obviously they'rethinking about selling books,
but they're also thinking aboutwho are readers, the culture,
the culture, yeah, I thinkcounseling, I think
(56:59):
psychotherapy.
So this is going to be a wildstatement, but I think, like
psychotherapy, golf,skateboarding and like tattooing
, like have like a veryinteresting trajectory, right,
like a very, maybe just very,interesting man.
(57:23):
You know, there's like aunderbelly culture to
psychotherapy that's starting tocome out, it's starting to
emerge.
Yeah, man, now you're gettingNavy combat veterans doing good
(57:45):
work and not having to sacrificetheir identity, not having to
sacrifice their identity.
Yeah, man, yeah, you're getting, like you know, collegiate
athletes.
You know you're getting, you'regetting.
You're getting like moms, likereal, real moms, but you're
getting, you're getting.
You know, you know those kids inhigh school that was hung out
(58:05):
by the tree.
You know them.
It's 700 degrees outside.
They're wearing a sweater.
They're wearing a sweater.
Man, it's my chemical romance.
Yeah, man, they're getting intothere and they're doing work,
dog, and still wearing black,wearing eye shadow, still
wearing those sweaters, samesweater.
(58:27):
Still wearing the smallnecklaces.
Say something about it.
Say something.
Yep, you saw me on a website.
You chose this.
You know, like, that's who I'mwriting books for, like, nah,
nah, you can do this, you can dothis.
I feel like there is a pushingout of the people who are more
(58:47):
traditional, in a sense.
Like it's like a little, and Idon't know if this is right or
wrong, but it just seems like,oh, this seems a little
inauthentic, bruh, there has tobe more.
There has to be more.
You see it at the book signingsat ACA.
You see whose books are peoplegravitating towards.
That's what the question, whatquestions about?
You know, hey, you walk up tolike a traditional therapist and
(59:10):
you're like, hey, hey, youcheating on your wife, you gotta
be cheating what you gotta.
You guys, you gotta got, yougot some kind, you got kids
running around here, right, yougot.
No, you, just, with the waythat they present themselves,
sometimes you're like somethingis going, something can't be.
Yeah, something is.
Are you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, now,look, now, look, look, look,
(59:34):
look.
I don't know what we're doingis right.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't't know what we'retrying to do.
I don't even know if anybodycares.
Wait till this next book comesout.
Wait till this next book comesout.
(59:56):
You want to talk about moneylaundering, side hustles for
clinicians?
This is the book.
Oh, man, yeah, man, yeah, yeah,yeah, you want to talk about
hiring your kids as employeeswhen you're LOC?
Alright, man, anyway, alright,let's check out.
(01:00:21):
Let's check out what you gotgoing on, man, for the rest of
the week.
Today is Thursday.
Yeah, we got a full K-Crapmeeting tomorrow.
Let's check out, let's checkout.
All right, so what you gotgoing on, man, for the rest of
the week, right, it's today,today's Thursday.
Yeah, we got a full K-Crapmeeting tomorrow.
We're matricing stuff.
I just got an email about ourcourse matrix.
It's going to be a long daymatricing that stuff, man, but
(01:00:48):
then also, like man, I got abunch of stuff to catch up on.
Man, uh, I'm trying to, um, I'mtrying to, uh, uh, hang out
with the fam this weekend.
You know, hang out with thisweekend, friends, that's that's
it.
Why are you trying to do that?
That's it because I love them.
Oh, okay, yeah, bro, oh, man,bro, bro, just real, check our
quick story where man bro valentcreated this little caterpillar
right at the workout.
You know, that just takes himto the workouts, yeah, and the
(01:01:10):
craft thing was they created acaterpillar, bruh, yeah, man,
bruh.
So he goes in the car and hetells lindsey uh, mommy, I made
a caterpillar and I made it formy best friend, daddy, daddy.
Oh man, oh, bro, bro, beingloved by valen now is that like
(01:01:31):
a acronym?
Like, is daddy an acronym forsomething or no, it's me.
Oh, he's talking about you.
Oh, yeah, couldn't be, couldn'tbe.
Not like you can imagine anyfriend donuts and L toys.
Yeah, couldn't be, couldn't be.
Nah, bro, it bro, so I'm gonnahang out with them.
(01:01:56):
Man, actually I have it.
Let me show it to you, bro.
Look at his little caterpillar.
Oh, that's cute.
Man, is that popcorn?
Is that colored popcorn orsomething?
No, it's not, it's just like afuzz or something he glued onto
it.
That's pretty nice.
(01:02:16):
Yeah, that's cool man.
Yeah, I'm trying to stay as faraway from my family as possible.
This weekend.
I might make up some meetingsor something.
No, it's not because we're sick.
I'm tired of them, jt, there'sa lot of them.
I'm tired of them.
There's a lot going on.
Man, nah, man, we just got stuffto do.
(01:02:38):
Man, we got to buy footballcleats and mouthguards.
Roby has dance starting up nextThursday, so we got to get her
some like African skirts to gowith her leotards.
Yeah, just, you know familystuff, man, just family stuff,
bro.
I got to get all changed in thecars.
You know just stuff like that,bro.
Hey, we got to finish, justreal.
(01:02:59):
You know, apart from the familystuff, we got to finish those
book proposals too, huh, finishthose book proposals too, huh.
So, yeah, I know you.
I know you don't read the email, so I don't know why I'm, why
I'm suggesting anything.
Yeah, I may not even be able tomake the meetings either
tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, if anybody would like towrite a book and can actually
(01:03:22):
help me write the book, sendyour emails to sendhelp at yahoo
, yahoo dot com.
Okay, yeah, if anybody wouldlike to help me write some of
these book posts, just send mean email at blanktwice at gmail.
(01:03:44):
I gotta go, alright.
Well, hey, we'll see y'all nextweek.
Man, again, this podcast iscoming out on sundays, all right
.
So, like, are you gonna send itout earlier?
So they get?
Are you gonna send it out onsunday?
I'm gonna send it out, if you.
If you're listening to this, youshould be listening to this on
(01:04:04):
a friday.
If you're listening to this,you should be listening to this
on a Friday.
If you're listening to this andit's Friday.
No, you ain't getting a podcaston Sunday.
You're getting a podcast nextSunday.
So the next time you're goingto hear us, the next time you
hear this voice, is going to bein September.
Okay, it's not going to be.
It's not going to be.
Don't expect it.
It's about listening on aFriday is not going to be?
(01:04:26):
Don't expect it.
It's about to glisten anotherFriday over and up on Sunday.
They said it was going to be onSunday.
No, no, jack, you ain't gettingnothing until September.
Just chill, man.
We got stuff to do.
We'll see y'all later.
Man, bye, I like how you tellhim bye, I like how you.
(01:04:48):
I like how you tell him bye.
I like how you be like, bye,you can erase it if you want.
Hey, I gotta go.
I gotta pick up game fromschool.
Man, hey, real quick.
Hey, sometimes Kofi says helloin situations, right.
So Megan was watching thismovie where it's like you gotta
stay silent or the monster'sgoing to get you.
I said Kofi's going to be theone to get us.
(01:05:08):
It's going to be dead silent,the monster's going to be
breathing down our necks and allof a sudden you're going to
hear Hello, hello, hello, hello,hello, hello.
And then you hear Kofi, andthen the monsters go brrrr,
(01:05:43):
alright, alright, later.
Oh, hi, hi, later.
all right, man, all right, hey, man, welcome back to
the cast y'all.
So I'm a little stuffy man, alittle nasally, so if that
irritates y'all, then just dealwith it.
You know, or talk, or talk, youknow.
(00:30):
So, man, we're going to startwith a little check-in Because I
feel like it's been a whilesince we've seen y'all First off
.
First off, we're going to do alittle check-in, we're going to
do a little topic and then we'regoing to do a checkout.
It's going to be a short onetoday because juice coming in
hot, because he's a big man oncampus, I'm a busy boy dressed
and he is stressed for time, fortime is pressed.
(00:54):
I mean he has a lot of thingsand a lot of people to do with.
So you got to hurry, man, hey,but All right.
So, uh, man, you wait, wait,hold on, hold on, hold on.
So when you use that voice inyour mind, who's in your mind?
(01:15):
Love that dude man, yeah, man,love that dude God man.
So for y'all who don't know, Imean it's pretty much everybody
but Mr Farmer was our old band,our choir director.
Yeah, choir director.
He's kind of like a musicteacher, but he's our choir
director In elementary school,immaculate Heart of Mary in
(01:41):
Lafayette, louisiana.
Yeah, man, that's the school wewent to for seventh and eighth
grade, right, seventh and eighthgrade, yeah.
And then Holy Family beforethat, yeah, holy Family.
Graduates, man, yeah, man,macklehead Homer yeah, he would
maybe have to walk in the cracks.
Walk in the cracks, yeah, he,low-key, taught us about hygiene
.
Yeah, man, to be honest, yeah,he's really like.
(02:03):
That was really important tohim.
He passed away a couple yearsago, right A couple years ago,
yeah, man, a couple years ago.
Yeah, but that's what he wouldsay I can't talk, I'm pressed
for time, can't talk, pressedfor time.
Oh, man, rest in peace, mrFarman, anyway.
So, hey, we got to schedule anupdate, man.
So if you notice that thepodcast hadn't been coming out
(02:25):
on its regularly scheduledWednesday times and it's mainly
because you know, jews press fortime so I say we move it to
Fridays, man, fridays, I saywe're going to have the cast out
, at least for Friday.
I think that's a good idea.
Or do you want to do Sundays?
Sundays, at least for friday?
For friday, I think that's agood idea.
Or do you want to do sundays,sundays at least, for sunday, at
(02:49):
least, podcast.
Yeah, because it will be yetthat way.
Yeah, man, because, honestly,it's just like.
You know what it is dog like,what is it?
What is it?
What is it?
It's just life, man, it's justlife.
Yeah, hey, it's just life, hey,so hey, it's just life, it's
just life.
So, hey, speaking about life,man, do a little checking for us
.
Man, well, what's been going onfor you, dude, what you been
(03:09):
getting off into over there?
Dog, two things, two things.
One, baby Val went to meet theteacher today.
I told you about that, I toldyou about that.
That's wonderful.
Let me tell the listeners Dog,the listeners dog.
So you know, he's going topreschool in the same school
that Kian went to.
And so when we walked in, youknow, people were like you know
(03:33):
Kian's brother, you know, andyou just feel that no identity,
no identity, you know.
But that's cool.
Valen is different than Kian.
Kian's like class president,he's like.
You know what I mean.
Valen dog, wait, wait, wait,president.
He's like.
You know what I mean valentine,does keon want that like?
Does he want class presidentstatus?
No, like, is he like?
Is he like that's just who I am?
No, I don't think he thinksabout that.
I, I just think that that's hisidentity, you know.
(03:55):
It's just like he's a, he's aleader, you know.
And it's like natural.
You know what I mean.
Hey, that's a nice cup.
That's a nice cup, bro.
That's a nice cup, go Cajuns,go Cajuns.
Anyway, anyway, long story short, bro, man, man, his teacher,
man.
So Keon was in, I don't knowwhat you call it, but he was in
(04:16):
the last pre-K before you go tokindergarten, right?
So he's in kindergarten.
This year, pre-k four Keon's inkindergarten Val.
This year, pre-k four keens inkindergarten.
Valentine started in pre-k three, right, so we get there.
So valentine's class is rightacross the hall from kean's,
from where kean's class wasright.
And his teacher came out andyou know she was like it's, his
(04:36):
teachers are really nice man,yeah.
And when she's, when keanstarted, her husband, right.
So he started in the fall.
Her husband passed away in thespring.
How old is she?
She's in her 70s.
I want to say Okay, okay, okay,okay.
But anyway, man.
And so she, you know, sheteaches it with her sister.
And she came up to us and shewas like, how's Kian doing?
(05:00):
And we told him.
She was like, give him twoweeks and he's gonna be running
that school, you know, and sowe're laughing and joking.
She's like you know what he did.
And then she started, like shestarted to get teary-eyed and I
was like I was like what youknow, what did he do?
Did he punch someone?
Yeah, like what did he do?
No, but she, like she was likeevery morning, you know, class
would start.
(05:20):
Before class started, he wouldcome up to me, grab my face and
go do you know how much I loveyou?
And she was like she just man,she was losing it in there.
She was like I miss him so much.
It's like dog.
You could just tell how muchshe needed that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dog, hearingyour kids doing stuff like that
(05:40):
for other people?
Yeah, gosh, that you don't tellthem to do that, you don't.
Yeah, yeah, like I, I neverknew he did that and he never
told me he did that.
They never said he did that.
You know, hold on, man,somebody's cutting onions in
here.
Hold on, no, no, somebody cutthe ventilator on, gosh,
(06:01):
somebody's.
Somebody's cutting onions rightin the age of x system.
Gosh, uh, nah, man, but it'sjust, it was just so dope man.
And you know valent go see theteacher and you know valent is,
valent is like valent is supersharp.
He's like very quiet, you know,but like you know.
And so he's in there lookingaround, you know, just like
(06:22):
looking around, like you want tomeet your teacher.
He's like, yeah, goes up to histeacher, he knows his teacher.
His teacher is a friend of ours, you know.
I said I asked him to smile fora picture, didn't smile.
He's like.
He's like I'm here, when do Istart, you know?
But then all of the stuff inthere, man, we get in the car,
(06:42):
he completely cracks open,joking, laughing.
I'm like, man, you better bringthat personality to school.
Man Toby is sitting there likeKen was awesome darling.
I never heard him talk before.
He's more like a cat.
I don't know if he's a wolf,he's with us or against us.
(07:04):
I don't know if he's like he'sa loof, he's with us or against
us.
I don't know if he's for us oryeah.
And then the other one, realquick, but is uh, I was late.
I was late to to the uh to thecast because, um, my uh, one of
our old students and mysupervisee is doing uh, he's
doing like dnd therapy and solike there's a dragon super to
prepare for it.
(07:25):
He's like you know, the facultywas like, well, it's becoming
more and more popular in thatarea, you know, more of our
students want to do it.
So we said, hey, what you mean,do it like they want to.
They want to do like grouptherapy, doing dnd and more more
.
I was talking to one of mystudents yeah, more clinics
around our areas asking for that, you know, and allowing it to
(07:46):
happen, you know, and so hewants to base kind of his
practice on it, you know, and so, um and so, and so anyway, the
faculty was like, well, whydon't you take us through a
campaign?
And so he's going to take usthrough a campaign, I think
starting next week.
Man, yeah, yeah, and so we getthat experience of doing it, so
we can also teach other studentsand also, you know, be able to
(08:09):
to like experience what we'venever done that before, like
we've never done dnd or anythinglike that.
Yeah, because we were, uh,because we were athletes,
because we were athletes, yeah,we were athletes.
Yeah, yes, yeah, we were one ofthe narps.
Yeah, man for the, for the, forthe audience, if you don't know
this, every single collegiatestudent athlete called you a
(08:32):
narp if you weren't a collegiatestudent athlete and a narp is a
non-athletic regular person.
Just let that sink in.
Not a judgment.
It's not a judgment.
It's just a judgment.
You know why?
Because everybody was goodenough to play for their youth
soccer team and everybodyconsidered themselves an athlete
(08:54):
.
Until you get to college and ifyou ain't playing in college,
you ain't a real athlete.
You know what it was?
For me, it wasn't even aboutathletics.
It was about people who, no,you know what it was?
For me, it wasn't even aboutathletics.
It was about people who weren'tstudent athletes saying that
their college experience washard.
(09:17):
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You mean you went to class thefull week.
You weren't traveling onWednesday, thursday, friday Wait
, you didn't get in from an awaygame at 2 am and still have to
make it to your 8 am class onMonday.
I'm sorry.
What were you doing between 3and 9?
Because I was at practice andstudy hall.
You mean you had all this timeto do your homework.
(09:39):
I'm sorry, you got your timeand your days and your hours.
I'm sorry.
Oh, you weren't at the trainersat 530 in the morning.
All right, man, I'm not sayingall that, I'm just saying
there's different experiences.
(10:00):
That's what I'm saying.
All he's saying is that yourlife is easy and you have
nothing to complain about.
That saying about that's,that's not.
That's not what I'm saying.
I hear you, I, loud and clear.
Loud and clear.
Y'all can't see his face.
Y'all can't see his face, but I, I, I get them.
All of my eyes are winking.
Yeah, man, nah, for real, forreal, yeah, I would.
There's something that I wish,I wish we could have been a part
(10:22):
of.
We just never had theopportunity to.
Yeah, dog, and it's so.
Anyway, we're doing characterdevelopment.
I can't tell you anything aboutmy character, because people are
listening.
Oh, you're making your owncharacter.
Oh, yeah, I know exactly whichcharacter I'm going to be.
Oh, yeah, I know exactly whichcharacter.
What An Etton?
(10:44):
Yeah, that actually makes a lotof sense.
Yeah, yeah, that actually makesa lot of sense.
I don't know.
But no, yeah, yeah, mycharacter, jay, is a man.
Just why can't you say anythingabout the character?
No, I can't.
I can't Because there's someelements about my character that
, if revealed, revealed, wouldcomplicate the situation that we
(11:07):
have.
Cesar, this is more complicated.
See, see, see, see, yeah, I,just there's levels, you know,
and and my bad, because I.
I used the singular wordcharacter.
It should be plural.
(11:27):
Yeah, I wasn't gonna correctyou.
You know, that's all I'm gonnasay.
Nah, hey, but for real it's,it's fun, like, for real it's
fun.
And it is also like you know,because we're talking about,
like, the therapeutic benefitsof like man it's rich.
It's rich, huh, rich in thebenefits, man, rich in the
benefits, maybe maybe off air.
I need to talk to you aboutgetting my just I don't know.
(11:49):
Uh, my student was talkingabout it and it'd be cool if he,
if I, could connect him withsomebody who's in the thick of
actually doing dnd therapy.
You know, I think we have, like, maybe more of an underground
community here in Lafayette, butyou were just talking about it.
Yeah, no, my supervisor wouldgladly provide consultation
(12:11):
services for a small fee.
What's the fee?
What's the fee?
What's the fee?
Do I have to stand out in themiddle of I-35 saying UMHB is
the place to be?
Like what?
No, no, like what, no, no, no,it's unrelated, it's unrelated
to the university, no, no, it'sjust more of a personal take,
(12:32):
more personal personal take.
Yeah, yeah, what kind of?
What level of rocks you'regoing to need me to shovel to
your backyard, like what, what,nah, man, it's, it's fun, so,
anyway, that's, that's, that's,uh, that's me, man, what you,
what you up to?
Uh, man, cool, anyway, let'smove to the topic.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
(12:53):
So, uh, nah, man, I'm, uh man,I y'all.
It's like, uh, yeah, it's, it'sa, it's a mixture of things,
man.
So I started here, you startedyour little jobby job.
Yeah, hey, bro, hey man, it isthe most refreshing and
(13:17):
fulfilling start to a job thatI've ever had, not in the sense
of like, oh, this is new andthis is fresh and this is the
best ever.
You know, it's just veryinteresting to be at a place and
know that, oh, this is the lastplace that I'm going to, this
(13:39):
is the last place that I'm goingto work at.
You know, like I couldlegitimately be in this office
for the next 30 something years.
You know, hopefully not thatoffice, but well, no, I mean, I
don't know, man.
You know, I don't know, ourprogram is pretty stable in the
building that it's in and youknow, we may move buildings.
(14:00):
Yeah, blah, blah, blah.
But but it's just interesting,man, because, like you know, it
makes me say like, oh, I want,like I should probably like,
save some stuff.
You know, I may even like startsome new traditions.
You know, here, pretty soon,you know, like, every first day
of the semester, do something,you know.
Or maybe take a picture ofmyself.
(14:21):
You know like I want to take apicture of myself.
I want to take a picture ofmyself in my office, just me,
just by myself.
So when I'm gray-haired andolder and whatever, I can look
and bust it up, yeah, man.
Or actually finding some lightin the process to care for
(14:41):
myself and coming out lookingbetter than ever, actually doing
what we wrote in the books,actually doing what we wrote in
the books.
Yeah, man, not man, but likehave that.
You know, just, I don't know,man, it's yeah, it's just
interesting starting a newsemester, you know, yeah, man,
it's cool man, and you had yourfirst classes.
So you met your students andtalked to them and well, yeah, I
(15:02):
mean to call what you doteaching would be disrespectful.
It's more of like it was moreof like a guiding, it's more of
like a hurting.
It's hurting.
I was thinking more likepamphlet.
I was thinking more like Idon't teach.
Yeah, I don't teach.
Yeah, what I do is I downloadthe PowerPoints from the author
(15:28):
and just, you know, I just putthe slides on.
No, no, no, you're one of thoseteachers where you download the
book PowerPoints, give them tothe students and then you have
the students sign up for days toteach the lecture.
Yep, where they're going to bepresenting, where they present
the PowerPoint, where theypresent the PowerPoint, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Ijust hang out.
(15:49):
Yeah, I hang out 16 weeks.
Yeah, that's what I do.
I hang out and you give them anice presentation grade and a
nice, you know, yep, yeah,that's cool man, yeah, yeah,
cool man, yeah, yeah, yeah,that's cool.
Yeah, I bet they love that.
Yeah, nah, man, it's good, man,it's good, it's good to be in a
place where, like, the studentsare you know, it's lively man,
(16:12):
like students, are therestudents coming to the office,
you know, like actually haveconversations with them?
It's pretty dope, man, it'spretty dope, but uh, anyway, so,
yeah, so that's like the, youknow, professional stuff, uh,
but yeah, the personal stuff.
Man, kyra got braces the otherday.
Yeah, I need to tell you, youjust sent us a picture, man, I
mean, I got the picture, but Iforgot to tell Linda that
(16:32):
yesterday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, his faceis growing and his teeth are
growing and there's too muchteeth in his face so it's like
overcrowding.
So there's like there's like aadult size teeth and baby size
teeth, just like growingtogether.
You know, like there's allkinds of all kinds of stuff, man
(16:55):
.
But, man, I was just talking toMegan about how, like you know,
we paid for braces.
You know, pay for braces, wegot insurance and stuff, but
like, we paid for our portion ofbraces and then like didn't
rock the boat on, like how arewe going to pay for our mortgage
?
And like, how are we going to?
You know, uh, yeah, like on a,on a personal level, to to be
(17:18):
because, man, if this would havehappened, if, man, if this
would have happened, if thiswould have happened back in like
2000 and you know 16, 17.
Like we wouldn't have had moneyto put gas in our cars, like we
wouldn't have had money to eat.
You know, like we, yeah, man,that's one of the things, dog, I
(17:38):
would suggest.
Like you know, I'm not sayingthis for, like, the listener,
but, like I know, for me,because I keep track.
I have an Excel spreadsheetwhere I keep track of all of the
, everything, everything I spend.
You know what I mean, yeah, andeverything I owe, all of that
stuff.
I look back to my records of,like 2016.
And I can remember Before 2016.
(18:01):
Yeah, man, remember before 2016, like, yeah, man, I remember
being in the parking lot of thegas station, uh, in in thibodeau
, louisiana, uh, thinking I canonly put this much gas because
I'm that much gas to get home,because I know, because I know
we need to get groceries.
(18:22):
Yeah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh,yeah, it just reminds you to
come up, man, and I think,honestly, it makes you like,
when you're standing in youroffice, your forever office, you
know whatever you know, like Idon't know.
I feel like it makes youappreciate the journey a little
bit more.
It does, man, it does it, itgenuinely does.
Like I'm in, I'm in a placewith a window, with enough money
(18:45):
to do what we want with youknow, to you know, live the type
of life I want to live.
Huh, excuse me, well, it's justbecause Daddy-O's double
dipping over there.
Yeah, what do you mean?
Yeah, you double dipping.
No, dog, don't do me like that.
My standard contract is morethan yours.
No, I mean, it's just the truth.
No University values me morethan you.
(19:08):
No, no, I would suggest thatyou take a look at my recent pay
stub I have.
You'd be surprised.
You'd be surprised.
I was surprised by how littleit was.
Yeah, it's like they are payinghim peanuts.
(19:30):
Wow, I don't see survival overthere.
Wow, his kids are eatingpeanuts.
Wow, peanut butter, peanuts,soap what other stuff, man?
Yeah, peanut brittle as brittleas that bank account man, hey,
jt, hey, we need some money, man, we need some money.
(19:50):
Private school is expensive,man, yeah, you made those.
You made that kid braces.
You made Kyra's braces out ofclothes.
I got some of daddy's ranchesand some of wires that he used
at the.
Yeah, my daddy be saying that.
He don't even say wire, he saysWI-WI-WI.
(20:12):
Why would you give me that?
Wi had to give me some WI.
Yeah, nah, man, but yeah, it'syeah, so just stuff like that.
You know, man, we got soccerstarting.
Man, I'm coaching Kyra's team.
We got black football starting.
Black football starting onThursday, soccer starting next
week.
We got golf finishing up.
(20:32):
I forgot about that.
Yeah, valens, start soccer nextweek.
Man, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,first soccer game, first soccer
team.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Save the jerseys, man.
Save the jerseys and put themin the shadow box.
Put them in the shadow box,save the jerseys and save the
cleats.
Yeah, that's going to be nicefor the Doug.
(20:52):
You know what's funny, dog?
I don't know if anybody elsedoes this, but I think of
everything they do and the lifeand moments, and I will say this
to myself, dog, I'll say dangthis, this gonna be nice for
that, 30 for 30.
This is gonna this, this isgonna be nice.
(21:13):
No, look, they're playingbasketball.
Let me go take a video realquick.
I submitted to hdn.
When they ask you get any home,I guess I do.
It's all categorized.
Let me see.
You did drop box link.
No, no, I'm, I'm, I do, I dothat.
I'm so legitimately do that.
I'm selfish.
What I I think about.
Oh, this will be nice to lookback on when, like you know, me
(21:35):
and megan are empty nesters andthe kids are living their life
and it's just us two and we'reyou know we'll be not leaving
that house.
Well, we're drinking some wineand we're watching some scary
movies or whatever to like.
Go through the videos, man.
I want to start this video thingwhere, like, the kids are young
enough to do it to, where, likeat the end of their first day
of school to ask them like, hey,how was school?
(21:56):
You know who are your friends?
Oh, yeah, like, what do youwant to be when you grow up?
You know, yeah, yeah, blah,blah, blah.
You know, and keep it up.
You know, I should do a KeenStar in kindergarten, I should
do like a kindergarten.
Do it, do it, do it, man Bro, Ipromise you you will not regret
it.
I started it with Cairo, likewith just pictures, you know,
(22:26):
and just to hurting him, youknow.
So I was like all right, dude,let's go get some Tylenol, right
.
So we find some Tylenol and Iwas like what's the dosage here,
you know?
So I look at the dosage and Igot like, you know, it was like
six to nine dosage.
Six to nine-year-olds, six andnine year olds was like, you
know, 10 milliliters, a millionsyringes, right, turkey base.
(22:47):
So I was like all right, cool.
But then I was like wait, kyra,how much do you weigh?
He's like 80 pounds.
I was like 80 pounds.
I was like that's like 12 to 13year old.
Uh, so should I give him a sixto seven dose?
You gave him the six and hegave him the six-year-old dosage
, that Tylenol.
Looked at that fever and waslike, yeah, we're going to need
(23:11):
another shot of that.
Jay, yeah, we're going to needanother shot.
He heard that Tylenol sizzling.
Hey, man, I had to give thatboy 15 milliliters of Tylenol.
Man, I give that boy 15milliliters of Tylenol.
Man, what do I have to take somuch of it, but it still hurts.
That's it.
You need a half gallon.
(23:32):
A half gallon of Tylenol justto soothe the toothache.
Jeez, 2% Tylenol Ridiculous,ridiculous, that's right, it's
wild man, wild man.
So, yeah, yeah, man, hey, uh.
So kofi's daycare, uh, adoptedthis like soccer program for,
(23:54):
like kids, what's it called?
Like, like tots, kick, kicksfor something like that,
something like that in batonrouge we play.
In baton rouge, cairo playedfor happy, happy feet and so.
So this one is somethingsimilar like Happy Feet or Tots
or something.
But you could start at twoyears old.
Yeah, man, this is about to bean absolute.
It's like herding cats at twoyears old.
(24:14):
Oh, yeah, for sure, I cannotwait, I know.
That's why I didn't let ourkids do any of that stuff.
I just didn't want any badhabits, you know.
So we, from the get-go, juststarted Bad habits.
Yeah, I just.
It's hard to get bad habits ifyou're watching film three days
a week and you're practicingfour days a week.
I know, I know, but you'regetting a thousand touches a day
(24:36):
.
No, you're putting me in thesethings and these volunteer
coaches.
You know how it is.
No, that's why I coach everysingle team.
I'm an actual nationallylicensed coach.
Yeah, I need to see credentials.
There was no tots for kids, nokicks for kicks or nothing, just
(25:00):
straight up training.
This is the first year whereKyra's going to be playing
soccer.
We ain't out there to have fun,nothing, hey bro, just straight
up training.
This is the first year whereKyra's going to be playing
soccer.
Oh, we ain't out there to havefun.
Yeah, the previous years it'sbeen about like everybody have a
good time, let's go have funNow.
Take his socks.
Yeah, Take his socks, hey, hey,hey, it ain't going to be no
(25:23):
helping you up, because you knowit ain't going to be no.
Oh, let's just stop the scoringbecause the guys and no
kneeling when somebody gets hurt.
Yeah, we running the score up.
If you can't handle it, get offthe field.
Get off the field.
Oh man, same thing with theparents.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,hey.
Same thing with the parents.
(25:44):
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,if you're trying to coach on the
sideline, come volunteer coach.
I'm by myself out here.
Okay, can we get in?
Can we get into the topic acouple times, because we're
already over time.
Let's make a transition intothe topic.
Thank you, thank you.
(27:41):
So, um, I think I shared alittle bit too much in class,
bro.
What do you mean, man?
I think I.
Oh no, let the people knowwhich classes you're teaching
this semester, bro Theories andInternship, theories and
Internship.
You're only teaching twocourses, three courses, two
sections of Theories, one courseof Internship, oh, two sections
(28:02):
of the one section ofinternship.
I'm teaching a freshman classtoo, and it's fun.
So who did you hurt to teachfreshmen?
Who did you hurt?
It's fun, it's fun, yeah, it'sfun.
And there's also like psychstudents, so I can kind of
pollinate.
You know what I mean For y'allwho can't see him.
(28:23):
He's blinking profusely.
He's profusely blinking.
Nah, bro, how much did they payyou?
How much did they pay you tosay it's fun, enough, enough,
enough, nah.
But anyway, yeah, man, what youshare, bro, okay, man, bro, you
know we got that dog in us,right?
Yeah, yeah, it's, it's, it'sbeen classified.
(28:46):
It's been.
It's in the library of kindness.
Here's what I mean.
Here's what I mean.
Here's what I mean.
And I think the faculty you knowmy faculty and my students who
know me, you know like I'm, I'm,I'm pretty nice, but also I can
be, yeah, man, I could.
Yeah, it's in there.
(29:07):
Yeah, the only reason why thiscast doesn't have one of those
like explicit marks on it isbecause Jude works for a private
school.
If you didn't work for aprivate school, it'd be an
explicit podcast.
No, it's not.
It's not.
It's not that it's Explicitpodcast.
No, it's not that I could beruthless.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I can be merciless.
(29:29):
Yeah, and I think that there isa part of me that part of me
has allowed us to be successfulRight To some extent.
Yeah, because it's not aboutclimbing ladders, like, it's not
about, like, climbing overpeople.
It's about having the mentality, that Kobe mentality.
(29:50):
Hey, it prickles people, itprickles people, it totally does
.
It totally does.
But I feel like it's morebecause they can sense it, you
know.
But like, oh, yeah, like,there's a, there's an absolute
part of me that is like astraight up dog.
That's like I'm going to writethis book.
You know what I mean.
Well, you know how I know thatI'm going to outlast you on this
(30:14):
treadmill.
It's because I'm willing to die, yeah, like a little bit of
that.
A little bit of that, that'show I know I don't think you're
willing to die.
But you know, that's how I knowI don't think you're willing to
die.
But but, but you know what dogthat tenacity comes in in
therapy.
You know when I'm where I'mlike if somebody comes into the
office.
You know and we've talked aboutthis somebody comes into the
office like, oh yeah, like I'm,I'm willing to go there.
(30:37):
Yeah, like I, I don't sacrifice, sacrifice, I don't care, I
don't care about, I don't careabout looking cool, I don't care
about none of that stuff.
Like we going there, if I haveto, I will drag you into
awareness, kicking and screaming, even if you hate me because of
it.
Right, like, use that, no, no,use that energy.
(30:59):
Are you trying to get me to runthrough a wall right now?
What you trying to do?
But for first year students,that doesn't sound therapeutic.
It doesn't.
It doesn't sound therapeuticand I didn't share anything.
But I definitely talked aboutmy playing soccer experience,
(31:20):
because I kind of talked abouthow I you know how I was, what
we used to do, what you used todo to people, the people's sons,
to their children, to theirlittle blessings, how we used to
be in the field Just absolutecriminals out there, man.
(31:42):
Yeah, just absolute criminalsout there, man.
I think it changed the waystudents may have seen me and
seen my approach in therapy.
Yeah, it's like you know how adog's been nice to you and then
they bite you and thenforevermore, you're like ah, I
(32:03):
don't know if I it's not justthat.
Like, ah, I don't know if it'snot just that dog.
I don't know if I trust any dog.
Yeah, but but it's the, becauseit's the, I think it.
What it does is and it's noteven about me, right?
I think it changes theperception of like counselors as
being soft and gooey.
Yeah, you know what I mean likewarm and gooey you, yeah, you
know what I mean Like warm andgooey.
You know to like to like honestand hard and resilient, and you
(32:30):
know what I mean Like.
There has to be a little bit ofthat in you to keep doing this.
What did you share with it,though?
Like, what'd you share with it?
No, I don't want to say it in acast, you know, because, well,
because you, why not?
Well, because there's stillsome investigations.
Just leave the people.
No, I just talked about some ofthe stuff we did in the field.
(32:50):
Some of the stuff we said inthe field, some of the things I
would think about otheropponents.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know whatI mean and like how, what I
would need to say to myself inorder to, like you know, get out
there and do things that, whenI think back on, I can't even
imagine how my body was able todo.
(33:12):
You know what I mean Because ofthe mentality I had and like it
and loved it, loved it from anearly age, and I feel like, in a
lot of ways, I'm like Keon.
In a lot of ways, I'm likeValen too, just like at my core,
(33:33):
like I'm doing this for us.
Yeah, you know.
And also, I don't care, like Idon't care about tiredness, I
don't care about ego, like Idon't care about, like about,
about tiredness.
I don't care about ego, I don'tcare.
You know what I mean.
There's something and I thinkthat you, I think you need to be
that way, a little bit as atherapist.
Yeah, you know, in order to dothe work you need to do, like
(33:56):
you gotta, in a lot of ways, yougotta be cold.
Yeah, you know cold, yeah, youknow okay, but in what ways,
though?
Like, like, in what ways do youneed to be cold as a therapist
man, like I mean, like you'reabout to make a reflection that
you know is gonna hurt thisperson.
You're about to make a summary,you're about to tie some things
together, you like, and it's,it's, it's things like this,
(34:20):
right, just okay, just one.
I got two things.
Yeah, this right, okay, justone thing.
I got two things.
One thing right.
A client just shared their abusestory.
Right, hard to listen to, dog,hard to listen to.
But you can also see how theyhaven't taken responsibility for
their life.
(34:40):
Watch it, watch it For theirlives, watch it After the
experience, right, and while thetraumatic experience was
traumatic, you know, and youdon't want to watch it.
Some listeners are like where'sthe abuse?
(35:01):
Was your fault?
It was no, no, that's not it.
But you not takingresponsibility and putting your
kids in a position to where theyare being hurt because of your
lack of awareness is your fault.
(35:21):
Yeah, you know.
And choosing partners, you knowthat repeat patterns.
That is your fault, you knowyou not doing something about it
is your fault.
And I think like to make thatturn in therapy.
You know, because you caneasily sit there and process and
(35:44):
empathize and talk and beintrospective and and just do
all of the listening and hearingstuff, you know, without
actually making them make theturn.
You know it takes a little bitof a coldness to go, like I'm.
You know this is going to hurtbecause I care.
(36:04):
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I wouldn't be, I wouldn'tbe saying this stuff If I
didn't care, if I didn't care,if I didn't think, if I didn't
think that it would bebeneficial to there.
But anyway, what I noticed inclass was when I shared a little
bit of the darker, you know,part of who you, yeah, if, who I
am, uh-huh, if it feels or feltlike students brushed up
(36:31):
against it and was like I don'tknow, I think they, I'm afraid I
don't want them to have thisexperience of like I couldn't do
that, oh, yeah, but dog, not alot of people could do that.
I couldn't.
One, I couldn't do that andthen two like, like, like I
(36:52):
don't want to, like I don't wantto, I don't want to become that
, you know.
If it means that and you don'thave to, I'm just saying.
I'm just saying, yeah, thatlike it's unavoidable sometimes
and the stuff I say in sessionman, yeah, yeah, man, we be
(37:12):
getting into it.
Uh, yeah, no.
So in class the other day, onestudent was like, uh, you know,
one of the one of their biggestfears is failure.
And everybody's like yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I just flippantly said, oh,huh, it's inevitable, yeah,
(37:34):
right.
And the class was like, huh,yeah.
I was like, yeah, yeah, you'regoing to.
Yeah, I wouldn't be surprisedif you failed every single day.
Yeah, and they looked at melike what?
Like yes, yeah, this isn't,this isn't like science where,
like, you have to have like, theright amount of calcium and the
(37:57):
right amount of you know, uh,we didn't have periodic tables
at emaggle heart, america.
So, just, you know, help us out, yeah, but you know it, help us
out, but you know it's notFalse right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
False right, false right, falseleft, false left, yeah, that's
it.
Nah, man, but it's art.
So, like you know, you're goingto fail and it takes a little
(38:20):
bit.
You got to have a little bit ofsomething, got to have a little
bit of something, got to have alittle bit of fire, got to have
a little bit of grit, yeah, tostep on that ledge.
To step on that ledge and fail,yeah, you know.
And then step back up and tryagain and get roasted or like,
or put the whole therapeuticrelationship in jeopardy because
(38:43):
of that failure.
Yeah, because you need to saythis and you need to be
congruent, or because like, orbecause like, maybe you didn't
need to say it and maybe yousaid it and it was truly hurtful
, yeah, and you didn't mean itto be hurtful, but it genuinely
was hurtful for the person.
And now you got to you hurtthat person, you hurt, you hurt.
There was a rift in therelationship.
(39:05):
You hurt that person, you hurt,you hurt.
There was a rift in therelationship and now you got to.
You have to own it.
You have to own it.
And if you meant it, if youmeant what you were saying and
you truly believe what you weresaying was the right thing to
say, you kind of have to livewith.
I said, I meant what I said andI said what I meant.
And if it hurts you, thenthat's kind of where we are in
(39:30):
our relationship.
We are, yeah, it doesn't meanthat we can't continue, but
that's where we are in ourrelationship.
Now you know what I really feeland how I really think.
Like, yeah, can we stillmaintain a relationship based on
that, you know, and not not dolike the, you know the peddling
back, like, oh, that hurt you.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't mean.
Let me rephrase it yeah, Ididn't, I didn't mean to hurt
you, but I still think what Isaid was was valid.
(39:51):
Yeah, you know, like, yeah, canwe live with that?
Yeah, what do we do now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And what do we do not?
Because in everyday life, likeyou leave well, so, so there's,
yeah, if you're on the elevator,somebody says something like
that, you're just like I'mgetting off on the next floor
and I'm out of here, I'm goingto take the stairs.
You know, like in therapy, youknow, I mean the clients can
(40:12):
leave anytime, sure, but hey,man, hey, hey, hey, you said
that in the first 15 minutes ofthe session.
Like we still got a good coupleminutes left.
Yeah, you know, like we stillgot 30 minutes left.
Like, are you going to leave orare we going to sit in this
discomfort.
You know, that's tough to do.
It takes a little bit of thatdog.
It's tough to do, man.
(40:32):
It's tough to do, yeah, man, ittakes a little bit of that kind
, yeah, man.
I had this one client on mycaseload who this isn't a big
thing, but we were talking aboutlike goals.
You know, this isn't a bigthing, but we were talking about
goals and the goals wererelated to being good enough or
(41:00):
to being an equivalent towhatever is good enough for that
person.
And so I just said in session,I was like huh, what made you
think you were ever good enoughto reach those goals, you know?
And he was like what do youmean?
I was like well, I mean, whatif you were never?
Like?
What if you're not?
What if you are not smartenough, strong enough?
What if you're not capable ofreaching those goals?
(41:22):
Like what if your level ofcapacity, of capacity is like
where you're at, you know, andyou're gonna like you're gonna
live, live with that, you'regonna.
That's just where you're gonnabe.
Like, I know you thought thatyou would be president of the
country, but you're not.
You don't have what it takes tobe the, you don't have the
(41:44):
moral flexibility or you can'tlive within the ambiguity to be
president Like you don't have.
You don't have that, you know,and you're realizing it and
you're running away from it.
Don't, don't run away from it.
You know just the idea of likeno, you are where you are, you
know, I know it's tough to hear,but you are where you are.
(42:07):
The idea of like, wrestling withthat, you know, yeah, like
being willing to get on the matand wrestle with that, with
clients.
You know, because it's so mucheasier to be hopeful and to be
like you can do whatever you putyour mind to.
You know, as opposed to youknow, and this is theoretically
sound like if you think aboutthe atlerian theory and how,
like, part of people's problemsis not accepting their
(42:29):
environment and accepting theirphysical body limitations, you
know what I mean.
Yeah, and like, amen, it's likethat with clinicians too,
though, man, it's like that withclinicians too, like some
clinicians, I know that theyprobably feel the pressure to
like, be this, like veryintrospective, like you know,
(42:51):
deep thinking, uh, you know,second level, second order,
change, third order it's a thirdorder man.
Nah, anyway, anyway, that's notin my books, but sometimes the
(43:13):
student, the clinician is justnot that skilled.
Yeah, bro, you can have all thetheory, you can have all the
experience you could do, but,like, you just are not skilled
enough to take someone to onelevel, to the next, to the next
level, and that's fine, it'sfine, it's fine, it's fine, man,
it's fine, it's fine.
But it's an awareness of thatideal and an acceptance of that
(43:38):
ideal.
Like, oh, okay, I'm not going tobe renowned in my city to do
this particular type of therapy.
That's so hard to accept.
I'm not saying, I'm not sayinglike I'm not going to be known.
I'm not saying like I'm doingthis because I want to be
(44:00):
renowned.
I actually don't care, I justwant to use my skills.
I am yeah, I know you are man,yeah, I am, and that's and
that's what's so hard to watchdog.
Hey, man, I'm spinning mywheels over here, I'm trying
hard, I'm trying my hardest.
It's the constant.
I need the accuracy.
I just want the people to knowno, but, but for real, but for
(44:22):
real.
It's like it's hard to.
It's hard.
I think it's hard to sit, maybe, with people when you say like
you know, hey, this is, this isyour limits, you know, but, but
anyway, look, hey, no, no, realreal quick, though.
Real quick.
What, nah, dog?
Seriously, man, like I, I'm notout here writing these books
and like working this hard tojust be sitting back on some
(44:45):
like humble high horse of, ohwell, if that's what the people
want, then the people are goingto buy the books and they don't.
Nah, man, I'm.
I'm trying to completely,completely shift the orientation
of psychotherapy, ofpsychotherapy.
I'm trying to have a particularbrand of therapy that is known
(45:10):
to be my brand, your brand, ourbrand of therapy.
When people get our books, whenpeople come to our conference
presentations, when people havethis idea of who we are, they
have a very nice, succinct ideaof, oh, this is what they are
known for.
(45:30):
Yeah, I'm not trying to hideand be some like you know, a
full professor at some likeuniversity that's like in the
shadows of you know, theprofession of the profession.
I'm not trying to be known on acity level or a region level.
I'm not trying to be thepresident of my state licensure
(45:58):
board.
I'm trying to be globally known.
But I feel like it is for like,and you tell me if I'm wrong,
but at least it feels like forme.
There's a higher purpose tothat.
It's for the money.
It's for the money, well, andalso Just the money.
It's just the money for me.
(46:20):
No, no, no, but for real,there's this higher purpose.
I feel like at least for me oflike I, I want people therapists
therapists who look like us,therapists who don't look like
us, therapists from mygeneration, new therapists
coming in to have the freedom todo therapy in a way that's
(46:42):
congruent for them.
Yeah, yes, because the way thatwe're trained is very much
unrecognized.
You can't see yourself in thetraining.
Yeah, you can't see yourself inthe faculty.
You can't see yourself in theauthors.
You know what I mean.
That's the thing that I program, and not to like big up.
(47:04):
Umhb man, because it's changed.
You guys are kind of falling offa little bit, but in the area
that we were Falling off, Ithink falling up is probably the
no, no, no, that's fine.
You know what's weird, dog,when you're so good, gravity
doesn't impact you, so whenyou're falling, it actually
feels a little like you'refalling up.
(47:26):
Yeah, you know, that's how goodyou see friends and family we
are.
This is the personification ofan echo chamber.
This is what it looks like.
That's what the facultymeetings are about Like we're
good, right, yeah, we're good,we're the best right, yeah, no,
we're the best, we're thegreatest in the world right, you
(47:52):
should see our, you should seeour agendas as who can make the
strongest thumbs up?
Whose thumbs up is the mostrigid?
Yeah, yeah, no, man, no.
But.
But seriously though, like umhbdid this man?
Our training was extreme, topnotch, notch, extreme, I would
almost say too hard in someinstances.
I felt like our professors weretrying to make powerhouse
(48:16):
clinicians.
It made the PhD a breeze, aabsolute breeze.
It made the PhD feel like isthis so, wait, hold on, this is
the caliber of clinicians we'reputting out in the country, but
these people don't even knowthat theoretical orientation.
What is happening here?
Wait, this is the norm.
But look, but not.
(48:37):
But not to not, not to say thatlike there aren't other
programs out there doing thework, you know, yeah, but I do
feel like there is this liketransition and you can feel it
happening in the field you knowof, like man.
When people say like the stigmais going down, I don't think it
(49:01):
has anything to do.
Well, I don't think it has asmuch to do with like research
and social media and stuff.
I think it has a lot to do withtherapists themselves changing
exactly, therapists themselvesbecoming and becoming more
themselves, more real, less likesynthetic.
(49:22):
Remember that.
Remember that person in the inthat person in that we were
doing the presentation and shewas like well, when I walk into
the door I check myself out ofthe door.
There's less of that happening.
There's less therapists outthere.
Therapists like that are gettingeaten alive in private practice
(49:44):
, getting eaten alive.
They're getting eaten alive inprivate practice, eating alive
man.
They're getting eaten alive bythe 2.5 single mom therapist who
had to get it how she lived fora while, who's been doing pop
culture therapy, realized thatshe needed to do some actual
hard work.
She did the work.
She brought all of that.
(50:04):
She's wearing all the scars,all the trauma, intercession,
all of that stuff, the divorces,the divorces.
Now she got a good man.
She got a good marriage.
She found a good church.
Her kids are six.
It's her second career.
(50:25):
Her second career.
She shows up in your theoriesclass.
She's from a good church.
Her kids are six.
It's her second career.
She shows up in your theoriesclass.
She shows up in private practicesmoking a Virginia Slims with a
dirty coffee cup to her right,a big, obnoxious Stanley cup to
the left.
You sit down and she go what'sup, what's up, what's up, that's
(50:50):
it.
That's there.
That's therapy now.
Okay, how can I see?
Welcome to the?
It's so clean in there.
You can hear people's shoesscuffing on the ground, the
linoleum is linoleum, theceiling is linoleum and the
(51:11):
Kleenex box is empty, empty,empty.
She got to go get a new onefrom the back somewhere.
They're not even using Kleenexanymore, they're using toilet
paper.
That's how good she is.
That is why we're writing booksto me.
(51:31):
That's why I'm writing books.
So, so that, so that isnormalized.
Yes, so that is okay.
So that's therapy.
Now, that's what it looks liketo be a therapist.
That's what it looks like.
You know, somebody, privatepractice, somebody who is not
out here, saying, hey, man, takecare of yourself.
Instead somebody's saying like,hey, take care of yourself.
Instead somebody saying like,hey, take care of yourself.
But what that really looks likeis hey, man, you got to work
two jobs.
(51:51):
Make sure you're taking care ofyour kids.
Maybe go with like four hoursof sleep, four or five hours of
sleep, you know, so you can makesure that your family is taken
care of while you're in graduateschool.
That's what Canva itself lookslike.
You got to do that for at leasttwo and a half, three years.
Then, before you can come out,keep showing up.
I'll keep showing up, you keepshowing up.
(52:11):
That's the people I'm training,that's the people I'm seeing,
that's what I'm writing for.
Are there students who's likehey, I want to get into D&D
therapy.
I don't even know where tostart.
Hey, I got you, I got you.
Now, look, it's gonna lookratchet, oh yeah.
But if we work out the kinks,you know, I don't, I don't want
somebody to come to me.
(52:32):
I don't want, I don't want astudent out there thinking, man,
it'd be really nice if I coulddo this type of therapy, and
then they come to me and I'd belike well, actually, um, a group
therapy, yeah, you really can't.
But what about confidentiality?
Hey, man, hey, this may be atopic for another time, man, but
I'm just, I'm curious aboutthat.
(52:52):
Like, do you think there's spacein this new generation of
therapy for, like you know, thenice, clean undergrad who goes
from undergrad to to master'sprogram, who maybe enters the
master's program at like, 22, 23years old, really hasn't
traveled, like hadn't really.
You know they're still withtheir like college, still with,
(53:14):
like their college sweetheart.
You know, like they, they comefrom these good homes, two
parent households.
You know all they want to do ishelp good church going family,
just want to help people pay thetaxes.
You think there's room forpeople like that in, like
today's version of therapy Forsure, dog.
For sure, for sure.
And also I don't know if yougot to get scuffed up.
(53:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, butthey'll see a particular type of
client.
They will.
They'll see a particular typeof client.
Hey, because the populationsees that from a mile away.
I'm not saying you got to go outand pick up a habit to make a
therapist.
No, you got to go get some hairin them, man, you got to run a
(54:05):
couple credit cards.
You gotta go.
You gotta go get, just touchsome hair in it, man, like you
gotta.
Yeah, you gotta run a couplecredit cards.
You gotta do some moneylaundering, man, like that's
your credit up a little bit,brush your credit up a little
bit.
Man, yeah, you gotta sell someused cars now you gotta.
You're good now.
You know when you're a goodtherapist, when, when your
credit score hits 300, that'swhen you're like, okay, I get, I
get it.
Now I can't do nothing, I getwhy someone would?
(54:26):
Nah, man, I just think thatlike, yes, there's room for
those type of clinicians, forsure, and you know, just to
bring it full circle, you know,obviously there's like students
from all over the place and alldifferent, you know.
But there's definitely timeswhere you know, when I share
(54:47):
some stuff like that, you cansee the students that's like
yeah, and some other studentsthat's like oh, oh, oh, oh, you
know, and like you know, youhave to let, you have to ease
them into that development.
And I think I steamrolled it.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, you know what I mean, butbut in an attempt, you know, to
do that aligns with our mission, you know, is what I see it.
(55:09):
It's like helping make theprofession more welcoming for
people who are little uncouth.
Yeah, yeah, people who comefrom a background that's like a
little non-traditional, you know, yeah, people who are coming
into this, who've seen somestuff.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And and and you don't feel likeyou want to talk about how to
(55:31):
get more like african-americantherapists out there.
You want to talk about how toget more therapists of color,
like out here, like, don't maketherapy white.
You know what I mean and Idon't mean.
I don't mean that in the senseof like, you know what I mean,
like white people.
(55:52):
I mean in the sense of, likethe ideal of whiteness, go on,
get whitey, go on, get out ofhere whitey.
I mean I mean this, this, this,this, this invisible culture of
whiteness.
Yeah, where, like you know whatI mean, and we talk about this
in the books all the time.
You know, but, like dog, I'mfighting for that in the books,
(56:16):
yeah, I'm fighting for that.
Well, I'm, I'm, I'm, yeah, Ican't believe, I can't believe
ACA is publishing our stuff.
Me either, man, I can't, man, Ican't.
I can't believe they let uswrite the way we write.
I can't believe they let usjoke.
I can't believe they let us.
Yeah, me, you know it, dog,carolyn baker, you know, like,
when she took us on theexecutive, you know, uh, I mean,
(56:37):
it's like dog.
And now with, like, the new crew, that they have a new crew,
yeah, there's a whole new crew.
Oh, man, it's like they get it,they get it, get it, they get
it, they get it, they get it,man, they get it, man, they get
it and obviously they'rethinking about selling books,
but they're also thinking aboutwho are readers, the culture,
the culture, yeah, I thinkcounseling, I think
(56:59):
psychotherapy.
So this is going to be a wildstatement, but I think, like
psychotherapy, golf,skateboarding and like tattooing
, like have like a veryinteresting trajectory, right,
like a very, maybe just very,interesting man.
(57:23):
You know, there's like aunderbelly culture to
psychotherapy that's starting tocome out, it's starting to
emerge.
Yeah, man, now you're gettingNavy combat veterans doing good
(57:45):
work and not having to sacrificetheir identity, not having to
sacrifice their identity.
Yeah, man, yeah, you're getting, like you know, collegiate
athletes.
You know you're getting, you'regetting.
You're getting like moms, likereal, real moms, but you're
getting, you're getting.
You know, you know those kids inhigh school that was hung out
(58:05):
by the tree.
You know them.
It's 700 degrees outside.
They're wearing a sweater.
They're wearing a sweater.
Man, it's my chemical romance.
Yeah, man, they're getting intothere and they're doing work,
dog, and still wearing black,wearing eye shadow, still
wearing those sweaters, samesweater.
(58:27):
Still wearing the smallnecklaces.
Say something about it.
Say something.
Yep, you saw me on a website.
You chose this.
You know, like, that's who I'mwriting books for, like, nah,
nah, you can do this, you can dothis.
I feel like there is a pushingout of the people who are more
(58:47):
traditional, in a sense.
Like it's like a little, and Idon't know if this is right or
wrong, but it just seems like,oh, this seems a little
inauthentic, bruh, there has tobe more.
There has to be more.
You see it at the book signingsat ACA.
You see whose books are peoplegravitating towards.
That's what the question, whatquestions about?
You know, hey, you walk up tolike a traditional therapist and
(59:10):
you're like, hey, hey, youcheating on your wife, you gotta
be cheating what you gotta.
You guys, you gotta got, yougot some kind, you got kids
running around here, right, yougot.
No, you, just, with the waythat they present themselves,
sometimes you're like somethingis going, something can't be.
Yeah, something is.
Are you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, now,look, now, look, look, look,
(59:34):
look.
I don't know what we're doingis right.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't't know what we'retrying to do.
I don't even know if anybodycares.
Wait till this next book comesout.
Wait till this next book comesout.
(59:56):
You want to talk about moneylaundering, side hustles for
clinicians?
This is the book.
Oh, man, yeah, man, yeah, yeah,yeah, you want to talk about
hiring your kids as employeeswhen you're LOC?
Alright, man, anyway, alright,let's check out.
(01:00:21):
Let's check out what you gotgoing on, man, for the rest of
the week.
Today is Thursday.
Yeah, we got a full K-Crapmeeting tomorrow.
Let's check out, let's checkout.
All right, so what you gotgoing on, man, for the rest of
the week, right, it's today,today's Thursday.
Yeah, we got a full K-Crapmeeting tomorrow.
We're matricing stuff.
I just got an email about ourcourse matrix.
It's going to be a long daymatricing that stuff, man, but
(01:00:48):
then also, like man, I got abunch of stuff to catch up on.
Man, uh, I'm trying to, um, I'mtrying to, uh, uh, hang out
with the fam this weekend.
You know, hang out with thisweekend, friends, that's that's
it.
Why are you trying to do that?
That's it because I love them.
Oh, okay, yeah, bro, oh, man,bro, bro, just real, check our
quick story where man bro valentcreated this little caterpillar
right at the workout.
You know, that just takes himto the workouts, yeah, and the
(01:01:10):
craft thing was they created acaterpillar, bruh, yeah, man,
bruh.
So he goes in the car and hetells lindsey uh, mommy, I made
a caterpillar and I made it formy best friend, daddy, daddy.
Oh man, oh, bro, bro, beingloved by valen now is that like
(01:01:31):
a acronym?
Like, is daddy an acronym forsomething or no, it's me.
Oh, he's talking about you.
Oh, yeah, couldn't be, couldn'tbe.
Not like you can imagine anyfriend donuts and L toys.
Yeah, couldn't be, couldn't be.
Nah, bro, it bro, so I'm gonnahang out with them.
(01:01:56):
Man, actually I have it.
Let me show it to you, bro.
Look at his little caterpillar.
Oh, that's cute.
Man, is that popcorn?
Is that colored popcorn orsomething?
No, it's not, it's just like afuzz or something he glued onto
it.
That's pretty nice.
(01:02:16):
Yeah, that's cool man.
Yeah, I'm trying to stay as faraway from my family as possible.
This weekend.
I might make up some meetingsor something.
No, it's not because we're sick.
I'm tired of them, jt, there'sa lot of them.
I'm tired of them.
There's a lot going on.
Man, nah, man, we just got stuffto do.
(01:02:38):
Man, we got to buy footballcleats and mouthguards.
Roby has dance starting up nextThursday, so we got to get her
some like African skirts to gowith her leotards.
Yeah, just, you know familystuff, man, just family stuff,
bro.
I got to get all changed in thecars.
You know just stuff like that,bro.
Hey, we got to finish, justreal.
(01:02:59):
You know, apart from the familystuff, we got to finish those
book proposals too, huh, finishthose book proposals too, huh.
So, yeah, I know you.
I know you don't read the email, so I don't know why I'm, why
I'm suggesting anything.
Yeah, I may not even be able tomake the meetings either
tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Yeah, if anybody would like towrite a book and can actually
(01:03:22):
help me write the book, sendyour emails to sendhelp at yahoo
, yahoo dot com.
Okay, yeah, if anybody wouldlike to help me write some of
these book posts, just send mean email at blanktwice at gmail.
(01:03:44):
I gotta go, alright.
Well, hey, we'll see y'all nextweek.
Man, again, this podcast iscoming out on sundays, all right
.
So, like, are you gonna send itout earlier?
So they get?
Are you gonna send it out onsunday?
I'm gonna send it out, if you.
If you're listening to this, youshould be listening to this on
(01:04:04):
a friday.
If you're listening to this,you should be listening to this
on a Friday.
If you're listening to this andit's Friday.
No, you ain't getting a podcaston Sunday.
You're getting a podcast nextSunday.
So the next time you're goingto hear us, the next time you
hear this voice, is going to bein September.
Okay, it's not going to be.
It's not going to be.
Don't expect it.
It's about listening on aFriday is not going to be?
(01:04:26):
Don't expect it.
It's about to glisten anotherFriday over and up on Sunday.
They said it was going to be onSunday.
No, no, jack, you ain't gettingnothing until September.
Just chill, man.
We got stuff to do.
We'll see y'all later.
Man, bye, I like how you tellhim bye, I like how you.
(01:04:48):
I like how you tell him bye.
I like how you be like, bye,you can erase it if you want.
Hey, I gotta go.
I gotta pick up game fromschool.
Man, hey, real quick.
Hey, sometimes Kofi says helloin situations, right.
So Megan was watching thismovie where it's like you gotta
stay silent or the monster'sgoing to get you.
I said Kofi's going to be theone to get us.
(01:05:08):
It's going to be dead silent,the monster's going to be
breathing down our necks and allof a sudden you're going to
hear Hello, hello, hello, hello,hello, hello.
And then you hear Kofi, andthen the monsters go brrrr,
(01:05:43):
alright, alright, later.
Oh, hi, hi, later.
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