August 22, 2024 • 45 mins
Have you ever wondered how much of yourself you bring to your professional life? Join us as we explore the liberating experience of embracing one's identity, from accents to career choices. We delve into the nuances of self-care, discussing practical tips like meal prepping and food supplements to maintain a balanced diet amidst hectic schedules. Our conversation also highlights the importance of finding a workplace that fits your life stage and the intricate balance between personal well-being and its impact on others. It's a thoughtful dialogue packed with valuable insights for anyone navigating the complexities of modern life.
Ever felt frustrated with a client or struggled to balance empathy with validation in a therapeutic setting? In the latter part of our episode, we tackle these tough questions, addressing the challenges therapists face with resistant clients and the difficulty of digging deeper into core issues. We share the emotional rollercoaster of managing difficult therapeutic relationships and the ethical considerations that come with it. To wrap things up, we reflect on personal growth, effective time management, and the joy of pursuing new hobbies and fitness goals. This episode is a blend of professional wisdom and personal insights, perfect for anyone looking to grow both personally and professionally.
If you have any questions about any counseling related topics or would like the twins to share their thoughts about a particular counseling case - reach out with the info below:
https://thetwintherapists.com/
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Contact: thetwintherapists@gmail.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
hey, hey, welcome back to the cast man.
We're back again.
Back again for another week,all right, barely barely making
it, but we're back again, allBack again for another week,
barely Barely making it, butwe're back again, all right
Again.
We're going to start with alittle check in, we're going to
do a little topic and we'regoing to check out.
This is going to be a shotgunone, because it's like 10
o'clock at night.
(00:37):
We're both hot, hot off ofputting kids to sleep Tuckered,
tuckered out, tuckered, tuckeredout, tuckered out.
Man, let's check in.
G man, what's been going on foryou, bro, how you been feeling?
Real quick, ken startedkindergarten.
It's been fun Boy.
(00:57):
He's been thriving, thriving.
Honestly, it feels like he'sdeveloped so much since he
started the school.
Oh, wow, it's dope.
Okay, little small neighborhoodschool good people, has he?
Has he, uh, has he?
Has he started his firststartup?
Yet?
His startup?
Yeah, no, I think that's comingokay, yeah, but you get, you
(01:19):
get like a little bit offeedback from you know, from you
know, like you pick up and it'slike he's so sweet, like he's
so kind, you know.
So, yeah, it's dope man, it'sdope.
But how's he doing in pe though?
Oh, yeah, he's sweet, kind.
Yeah, cuckoo spart.
Yeah, but I don't know what'swhich hand does he throw with
what's his dominant foot?
I saw a ucla jacket.
(01:41):
Oh, yeah, clipboard, okay, youknow walking Uh-huh, and so I
don't know what that means.
Scouts are watching.
Yeah, scouts are watching.
Yeah, I picked him up and hesaid you don't got anything to
worry about, okay.
I said, okay, all right, soUCLA it is.
Huh, yeah, okay.
Nah, man, yeah, our semesterstarted Teaching the classes.
(02:03):
I love to teach, man, it's dope.
What classes are you teachingthis semester?
I love I teach theories.
I teach theories in internship.
One man, it's the best.
And I know they're listeningright now.
So you only teach in twoclasses.
Oh, yeah, I forgot, I teachthree.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then plusa freshman seminar, okay, yeah,
but I love teaching internship.
One, bro, it's like.
Bro, I be pushing them so hard.
(02:25):
Yeah, man, you know like andyou know what.
You know how they messed up.
It's because they showed me howmuch potential they got In
practical.
In practical, yeah, not even inpractical.
You know like, that firstsupervision session is like a
test.
Yeah, you know where you'relike.
Okay, where are you?
You know where you're like,okay, where are you?
(02:46):
You know, like, are we talkinglike you can actually do some
depth work?
Or are we talking like, okay, Ineed to get you to like You're
going to be somebody soundingboard, somebody sounding board,
exactly Like, where am I tryingto take you, you know?
But when everybody has thatlike potential to like rise
above it, yeah, that's when I'mlike, oh yeah, nah, we're gonna
(03:08):
have fun.
Yeah, you know, because, likewe talked about last time man,
it's a competition within thecompetition.
Yeah, yeah, you know, like Iwant people to look at my group
and go, oh gosh, yeah, I want, Iwanted to be like his students'
retention numbers are oddlyhigh, wow, you know.
(03:28):
Yeah, his students come out ofinternship charging $150 a
session.
It's madness, I'm trying to gethim there.
It's madness, you know, I'mtrying to get him there.
If only they but submit.
You know, if only they butsubmit, I command you to grow.
Now you have no choice.
(03:52):
It's super fun, bro, I got likea good group, like for real,
for real, yeah, you know I'm notjust saying that, because I
know they listen like it's areally good group.
You know, you can tell like youcould just feel Like, oh yeah,
everybody's committed Becausethey pay their tuition on time,
because I know that's what y'allthat does help.
No refund Above all else.
(04:13):
No refund, no, take back.
But Don't they call y'all thediploma mill of the Bible Belt.
Get out of here, get out ofhere.
Don't they call you theprinting press?
(04:34):
Yeah, but they do have some.
They do have some printingpresses, you know, around
unaccredited.
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, youknow, two year provisionally
recruit.
I'm not saying but, um, anyway,man, yeah, all that stuff is
good, all that stuff is good.
(04:55):
Man, um, what was I about tosay?
Oh, but I gotta tell you thisfunny story dog, real quick,
real quick.
So, so, burman keen goes toschool.
Man violent gets up, burr, hecomes out.
He comes out.
He's like oh, good morning day.
I was like good morning, bub,did you sleep good?
He's like, yeah, I'm like didyou, did you, did you have some
(05:17):
good dreams?
He was like, yeah, I got somegood dreams.
Do you want something to eat?
He's like, yeah, can I get some?
Uh, I want a waffle, uh, figbar, uh, apple juice and milk
and a bowl of cereal.
Oh, wow, okay, bowl of drycereal.
I was like all right, man, yeah, I'll get you that stuff,
because they'd be eating, they,you know, they'd really be
(05:38):
eating breakfast where they'd beeating breakfast, man, and so,
anyway, so, anyway, so I'm aboutto leave, you know, because I
had worked out that morning.
So I'm about to leave to go gethim some food and he goes.
Wait, daddy, wait one second.
You know he gets up, walks tome and I go, you know, to give
him a hug.
And he turned around, put hisbutt on my kneecap and farted
(06:01):
Wow, I felt the wind, wow it.
And farting, wow, I felt thewind.
Wow, hit my kneecap, I felt thewind.
And then he turned and lookedat me and he goes, and then sat
down and I was like, dog, areyou serious?
It's unbelievable.
Oh, he's this now.
Now, your kneecap gotconjunctivitis, bro, diabolical,
(06:23):
your kneecap is infected.
It felt like he had been settingthat up since the moment he
came around.
It's been baking, yeah, it'sbeen baking.
Yeah, that's that boy, dad,stuff, man.
And I was like, oh man, he'sprobably sad because Ken's at
school, and you know, and that'sprobably why he's a little
sensitive this morning.
Maybe he wants a hug, maybe hewants a hug, maybe he wants a
hug, maybe he wants a hug, andthat's exactly what I thought.
(06:44):
I was like oh man, that's whatdad's here for.
Man, I got you, I got you, bro,I got you, I got you.
Oh, wow, okay, okay, all right,okay, all right, wow, is that
moisture?
Wow, ew, ill, yeah, bro, it wasyuck, yuck, man.
(07:05):
I was like you know, it's likeI try not to laugh at that stuff
because I don't want them tothink it's funny, you know, but
you got me.
I was like how could you not?
How could you not?
Yeah, anyway, man, that's mebro.
Oh man, all right, well, let me, let me, let me, let me check
in.
Oh, I didn't ask, I didn't ask,I thought we'd just get in,
(07:28):
because I know you don't got noreal update.
Okay, yeah, all right.
Well, all right, well, I'm fineover here anyway.
So, moving on to the topic,moving moving, number eight you
got your little job burn.
You walked on campus, got a lotof D cards.
Yeah, man, yeah, bro, yeah, I'mhome, I'm home, jt, yeah, I'm
(07:48):
home.
Yeah, y'all got a saying orsomething Like raging Cajuns,
yay, it's raging Cajuns, man, Idon't know, we too drunk to have
a saying, bro, see, that's thestuff we was talking about for
the cast.
Yeah, I can say it.
I work at a public university,man, I do not need to condone or
(08:12):
encourage.
Nah, man, nah, you know what,though?
This is the first place thatI've ever worked at where I
didn't have to mask my accent.
You know when I did not have tomask my accent, bro, don't do
you feel?
Do you feel like you mask it?
Oh, hell, yeah, code switch.
No, I think it's a little bitof both, but I think, yeah, I
(08:34):
think it's a little bit.
I don't feel, I think I don'tfeel like I'm hiding it.
I know people wouldn'tunderstand, people wouldn't
understand.
That's what I'm saying.
That's my point.
Like I'm not, I'm not.
I think people, they hear mespeak, they hear a faint like ah
, that's huh, there's somethingthere.
Yeah, he's not from around here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but now, now,I let the whole character out.
(08:58):
Yeah, I let, I let it out, man.
Yeah, I let it out.
I went cowboy out, man, yeah, Ilet it out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots toclass.
You know, I let the countryboys sing.
Yeah, man, country boys sing.
I'm high-stepping,high-stepping, high-stepping in
the boots, man, yeah, man, Ithink you ain't got bad knees.
(09:19):
You know you got no cartilageto be wearing.
Hey, man, I might ride a horseto class, man, I don't know.
You know I might, but you knowyou can't get up on that horse.
Man, the horse is going to be.
I was just talking about justbasic mobility.
Just kill me, I don't want tobe here.
(09:56):
Get this person, what is that?
God, get it off of me.
Ouch, mr, ouch, ouch, just init quickly, oh man, yeah, yeah,
(10:42):
yeah.
Oh man, that's you Country bar.
Tread right into his office.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, you knowyou still got to get a parking
tag.
I got to get a parking tag, man.
Man, my office is off campus.
We got our own little buildingman off campus.
But it's nice, is like, and no,wish you luck, man, wish bro,
(11:06):
bro, bro, bro, no disrespect toany university that I've ever
worked at, man, but this, this,just no disrespect.
No, it was interesting man.
No, seriously, what'sinteresting is that, like this
university is the perfect fitfor like where I'm at in life
right now.
You know, it's a perfect fit.
I want to go to football gameswith the kids.
I want to be a citizen ofcampus.
(11:29):
It's a good opportunity.
It's just a really good fit,man.
So, yeah, bro, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But so, yeah, the job thing iscool man, but dog, man, I've
really been taking care ofmyself, man, I've been taking
care of myself more than I'veever taken care of myself before
.
Like ever, ever.
(11:51):
Man, like working out,consistently eating healthier
man, yeah, just avoiding, like,the pitfalls, you know, you know
, like not being too hard onmyself.
You know, yeah, man, like notnot working on the weekends,
(12:11):
like not working on the weekends, dog, just like, I know, I, I
feel that I feel that from youman, I'm trying to be positive
and you know you always gotta,you always gotta put me through,
and you know you always gotta,you always gotta put me through
this.
No, no, you always gotta put methrough this self-pity rig on
my row.
No, dude, you always have to dothis.
I would just, I would justencourage you to consider those
(12:32):
who suffer because of yourself-care.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
You see, yeah, yeah, there isno self-care.
Yeah, okay.
You see, yeah, yeah, there isno self-care without other hurt.
So you know, just when you yeah, when you it's in the second
edition yeah when you thinkabout caring for yourself, just
also be cognizant of the onesyou have to deal with the fact
(12:54):
that you can't pray.
Yeah, you know it's the otherside of the coin.
Yeah, you can't pray, so youknow it's the other side of the
coin.
Yeah, man, yeah, self-care,careless, yeah Amen.
Hey, this is the most I've evercared for myself, man, so in a
really long time.
So that's cool, bro.
Yeah, man, yeah, that's coolman.
Kids are good man.
(13:20):
You got to try to keep it up.
When the semester starts,that's always the thing that's
gonna be the biggest thing, man,it's gonna be the biggest thing
, man.
It's so easy to like like, ohman, I'm in between meetings, I
gotta let me just run and getyou know whatever you know.
Uh, which is why, which is whyI got this food supplement.
I got these sup.
I got this, um, these, uh,multivitamins.
I'm not, I'm not putting, I'mnot putting on there, man, I'm
just, I'm just telling you, man,I got multivitamins.
(13:40):
I'm not, I'm not putting, I'mnot putting no names out there,
man, I'm just, I'm just tellingyou, man, I got multivitamins.
I got this food supplement towhere, like, if I need to eat a
meal in a, in a rush, like it'sa meal that I can eat in a rush,
and I'm also like a mealprepping, not like the tiktok
instagram stuff.
You see where I'm like cooking15 chicken thighs, you know, on
(14:01):
a sunday, you know, like, nah,man, just like you know, one,
two, three meals a week, youknow up to where, like you know,
no, not a sandwich.
We got too much sugar in breadanyway.
Uh, wow, yeah, I'm telling you,man, what about the sugar-free
bread?
The sugar-free, you mean air?
Oh, the sugar-free, you meanair.
Huh, the sugar-free bread?
Oh, you mean croutons, you meancroutons?
(14:25):
No, I don't.
It's not a wrap where you putcheese and turkey meat in the
palm of your hand and you juststuff it.
You stuff it, you put the otherhand on top of it, uh-huh,
there you go.
It's a sandwich.
No, I'm pretty sure there's,like somebody, a sugarless
sandwich.
I'm pretty sure there'ssomebody listening to this gas
thing.
You're like, oh, these idiots,man, just use the Ezekiel
(14:48):
Chabata Spanish bread from theCaucasus Mountains and you put
the.
You know you air fry it, thenyou freeze dry it.
Probably some dietician, somedietician, you know.
You air fry it, then you freezedry it.
Probably some dietitian, somedietitian somewhere.
Listen, we don't know what we'redoing.
I'm just trying to take care ofmyself, man, yeah, trying to
care myself anyway, anyway.
(15:09):
So, all right, it's that stuffwhat you want to, what you want
to talk about.
So, all right.
So, man bro, I want some stufftoo, but oh, okay, well, maybe,
maybe, maybe we can touch on abunch of things for man, all
right.
So this is.
This is kind of what's beenhappening in my practice lately,
right so, man.
(15:30):
So Thank you.
So what I've been finding isthat, like I'm in a transition
(16:47):
where I'm transitioning a lot ofclients out of my practice
right, because I'm starting thisnew job, like a lot of clients
are being transitioned out.
That's what you're calling it.
Yeah, that's what I call it.
That's what's happening.
Okay, what it actually is islike pure and utter sure, no,
call pure and utter abandonmenton my part.
Yes, pure and utter abandonment.
Nah, man, nah.
But yeah, for real, you gottalike thin, thin the caseload,
(17:11):
right, just thin out thecaseload, right.
Well, like you're having toughconversations, but like, what
are we?
What are we doing?
You know, like, what are wedoing?
Like, do you need this weekly?
You know, like, is thissomething that you know?
And I've been getting a lot ofpeople saying like yo, actually
I was trying to figure out a wayto talk to you about it, like
(17:31):
this has been extremely helpfuland, yeah, I don't really need
to see you once a week, like Ineed to see you like once a
month, you know, yeah.
So we have, we have see youlike once a month, you know,
yeah.
So we have those conversationsabout like right, why, man, you
know, and like what's been sogood and what are you taking
from this and how are you goingto care for yourself, right,
yeah?
But then I have other clientsright who I don't know how else
(17:57):
to say this, but it's almostlike they refuse.
They refuse the idea that theydon't need weekly therapy, that
(18:17):
they don't need it for them.
It's like, no, I need weeklytherapy.
Oh, I need, yeah, there's noway I cannot have weekly therapy
, you know.
And it's like, yeah, it's.
I mean it's.
Does it sound like dependence?
I don't know if it's dependentor is it, um, delusional, that's
(18:39):
what I think.
That think, that's kind of whatit is.
It's like I think that sometimes, because, you know, I have this
vantage point of seeing youknow, like, what people's lives
look like on an hourly basis,right?
So because of that, I get thisidea of like you know you can't
really compare people's issuesright For sure.
(19:00):
Like you know the you can'treally compare people's issues
right for sure, but like you dohave this barometer, you do have
this like measuring stick, youknow we'll come in with some hey
and then yeah, man, yeah, andthen your next hour.
It's like you know they gotlike test anxiety, not saying,
not slagging, that's exactly,it's not a real thing.
But it's also like there's somequalitative differences between
(19:21):
like losing a child exactlylike being worried about getting
to be on the test, exactly dog,so so and I don't want to be
disrespectful to the client'sprocess, of course, right, but
there is a part of it that'slike I don't think.
I don't.
I, I know you think that whatyou're experiencing is really
(19:44):
hard and harsh and the world isbenignly indifferent to your
suffering, but it's not that bad, it's not.
I just I think like, how much,how much of the, how much of
(20:06):
this do you feel?
Like is like, yeah, man, thissounds terrible, but like a
romanticization of struggle,yeah, of like labels.
You know struggle, yeah, oflike labels, you know, you know
what I mean.
Oh, yeah, man, and this need tolike hold on, let me finish.
(20:31):
Let me finish this need to like, this need to like have
something that makes things makesense in life.
You know what I mean.
Like situations like you know.
Like you know like people, likeyou got social anxiety.
You know like, do you gotsocial anxiety or do you just
(20:51):
not have the skills to talk topeople?
Well, what?
What happens if?
What happens if the therapistsays, hey, this is not really
that like bad of an issue, likethis is not really that, this is
not really that intense, youknow, like it's, it's, it's not,
it's not as intense as youthink it is and it's definitely
(21:15):
not so intense that it warrantsweekly therapy.
Dog, I've had that conversation, you know, I've had that
conversation, like recently.
You know, with, like a client,where and the way, the way that
they like describe theirexperience.
You know it's like.
You know they'll say thingslike I'm crazy.
You know, yeah, this is theworst.
(21:35):
Yeah, I bet you, I bet you'venever seen this before.
Like I told you yeah, or like,or like.
Nah, it's me, like I'm theproblem.
Yeah, you know, yeah and like,and when they say stuff like
that, it's almost like they wantyour reaction to be like oh man
, I, just what are we gonna dolike?
This is complicated, you know,like, I don't.
(21:55):
You know, as opposed to like,and this is what I.
This is why I love teaching.
Internship one is because ininternship one, you can like,
push the students to explainanything under the sun from a
theoretical perspective.
You know, you can explain theway the earth rotates around the
sun using systemic theory.
(22:17):
Yeah, son, using systemictheory.
Yeah, that I want you to thinkabout attachment injuries
whenever the like.
You know what I mean.
Like, that's how much I wantyou to be able to think
theoretically.
Yeah, you know what I mean andso you can.
And I think that's why theycall the shrinks is because we
can shrink down any big,horrible problem into a
(22:40):
theoretical construct that willmake that thing make sense.
Yeah, yeah, you know what Imean.
But clients don't want that.
It feels like no, it's almostlike they want validation that
their issue is as bad as theythink it is, yeah, and that it
(23:04):
really warrants their prolongedsuffering.
Yeah, you know, because youcan't just tell them.
Actually it's a matter ofchoice.
Yeah, you could choose not tothink that way.
You know, I completely get it.
(23:30):
Impairment that prevented youfrom even rationalizing an ideal
that the world can look adifferent way than it is, that
it looks now.
But you don't have that type of.
That's not your reality.
If you wanted to, you coulddecide not to engage with your
(23:50):
mom.
You can make that choice like,yeah, man, like you don't, you
don't necessarily needmotivation to do things.
Like you could just do it evenif you're not motivated.
Yeah.
Or you can start workingtowards like acceptance of self,
exactly, acceptance otherpeople, acceptance of the world.
(24:12):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
It's, it's your choice,whatever, whatever direction you
want to go on.
But you know that sounds likecallous, though you know, to
some extent it sounds a littlebit like yes, flip it, like flip
over, yep, you know what I mean?
Um, but but that's not whatwe're saying, that's not what it
is, especially if the personhas like, especially if the
(24:37):
person's problem is the problem,right, and not if that person's
solution, solution to theproblem, becomes the problem
Exactly.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes, you know what I mean yesBecause, like when you're
sitting down in a room withsomebody and they're sharing
their story and stuff, and Istart to get a feeling that like
(25:00):
it feels like we're talkingabout your solution and not the
problem Uh-huh and yourdysfunctional solution, so that
we can actually start doing thedepth of work it takes.
(25:20):
But but it feels like sometimesclients don't want you to touch
the deep work.
I mean, obviously they wouldn't, because hurts, you know, but
they want you to treat thesurface level issue as if it's
the bottom of the barrel issue.
The frustrating part is whenyou, as a therapist, and the
(25:42):
client are both aware of thedeeper issue.
You're both aware of it, youboth know it, and you, as a
therapist, you name it right,yeah, like you say, like, hey, I
don't think, I don't thinkthere is, there's nothing that's
going to change this dynamicbetween you and your mom.
(26:05):
I'm just using that as anexample because, yeah, because,
because you love that dynamicLike you, you love, you need
that dynamic, like you need itcreates definition and we talked
about this in the past.
It's like needing that toxicity,Right, right, right, right,
whatever, whatever it is, youknow like you need that dynamic,
because that dynamic, like itdefines life.
(26:26):
You know, yeah, and if you madea choice not to let it define
your life, your life wouldbecome almost like meaningless,
meaningless.
Made a choice not to let itdefine your life, your life
would become almost likemeaningless, meaningless.
You know, like you, at leastyou you definitely be spiraling
in some like undefined territory, yeah, you know, and and that
is not worth going through.
Yeah, it's not worth goingthrough.
So then what happens is when Isay, yo, I don't think we need
(26:50):
therapy once a week, it's like,well, what do you mean?
I think that this thingwarrants, you know, I need a
two-hour session.
You know, like the worst isthat the.
I think sometimes, like thething that, like you know,
frustrating is not really theword, it's more just like it
(27:11):
makes me sad.
You know, it's that that, like,when people are so stuck in
their own stuff, sometimes theyexperience you trying to support
their independence, as yousaying, like what they hear is I
don't want to be around you.
Yeah, I don't like you.
You know what I mean.
And, like you know, as atherapist, you can sense like,
(27:33):
oh, yeah, this is coming from aplace of like rejection, uh-huh,
and like fear of rejection.
You know what I mean, but thetruth is still there.
That, like, I don't think weneed to continue in this way.
Like, let's meet once a month,yeah, or let's meet once every
other month, yeah, let's meetonce a month.
Or let's meet once every othermonth, yeah, you know, yeah,
yeah, but it's just, it's justhard.
(27:54):
No, but there is I don'tremember when this happened, but
there is a client on mycaseload now that I genuinely, I
genuinely don't like Like, Idon't like, I don't like the
sessions, I don't like, yeah, Idon't like the work we're doing.
I find the work that we'redoing kind of like meaningless
(28:16):
and pointless.
You know, I oftentimes get likevery frustrated with just like
the very idea that we like thestuff that we talk about.
You know, it's like we talkedabout this already, we talked
about this already.
Like, yes, I know exactly whatstory you're talking about.
I know exactly where we'regoing, because you've said this
(28:38):
story thousands of times.
Why do we keep going back here?
Like, what am I doing?
Why are we here?
You know, yeah, and then youturn away from the mirror and
turn the lights off Yep, yeah,and I walk out of the bathroom.
And then it goes from themirror and turn the lights off
and I walk out of the bathroomYep, and I leave my wife to
clean up the clown makeup fromthe bowl as I go and supervise
(29:08):
students.
Nah, man, nah.
But yeah, there's a real clientout there, man, and and every,
every time I see this person,every time I see this person
talk, I'm always like, yep, okay, like yeah, yeah, like what do
we?
And it and it's, and it's notthe client, it's the process.
(29:28):
Kind of wow, kind of wow, youknow why is we're not, we're not
supposed to, we're not supposedto be, you're not supposed to
have feelings towards otherhumans, we're just supposed to
be these clinical robots.
You know, that's just, yeah,this non-judgmental.
(29:49):
You know, if you have feelingstowards your clients in this way
, man, that's probably a hugesign of kind of transference.
I'm telling you, man, thisperson would not be somebody
that I would gravitate towardsin life, would not be somebody I
would gravitate towards in life.
You know, and it's becomingevident in the way that I treat
(30:12):
this person in session.
Oh, yeah, I try not to.
I try not to, but you know what?
I am becoming very cognizant ofhow much session time is spent
me trying not to.
Yeah, you know, and it's a lotof time in session.
(30:32):
It's a lot of time in session.
It's a lot of time, more timethan productive, more time I'm
pretty sure they perceive it too.
I'm pretty sure they're likesomething's up, something's up,
yeah, something's up.
I don't even know how to like.
(30:53):
You know, what I want to say ishey, I don't like you, like, uh
, you know, I don't mean.
I've heard you say that before,it's true, yeah, yeah.
And then again you turn awayfrom the mirror, turn the light
off.
And, uh, you turn away from themirror, turn the light off.
(31:14):
Hey, man, I don't like you and,quite frankly, I'm tired of
being in this relationship.
Yeah, man, tired of being inthis relationship.
Yeah, yeah, man, I just don'tknow if there's anything to like
(31:35):
.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, like, I think I think you, I think you can have, like,
you know, just like honestconversations with clients.
But but it kind of depends, man,if they're, if you're, in
private practice and you'retaking private pay yeah, you
know right and that client sayslike, no, I because I've had
this happen to where clientswill go like, nah, I hear you,
(31:57):
like, doc, I hear you and also Iwant to keep working with you,
right, same like, even if, evenif there's some weeks we don't
miss, or even if there's a weekwe go and there's not much for
us to talk about.
You know I, just, you know, Ineed you in my life.
Same, same, same.
This person, I need you.
(32:18):
This person man, is a client whowill say can we just have two
hours?
Like, can we just have a twohour session?
You know, it's like I can't,like my schedule will not allow
me to have two hours.
You know I said well, fine,when is your next opening?
Like 8 am on monday?
(32:40):
That's the only time I haveavailable this week.
Well, fine, put me down.
You know, and that's it's eighto'clock on monday, and like
they don't show up.
You know, it's like what?
It's tough, like mind games,yeah, like, hey, yeah, yeah, hey
.
Like first off, you know I'mgonna have to charge you right,
(33:01):
and then second off, why'd you,why'd you make me schedule you
when somebody else who needs myhelp could be in that time slot?
Help, I don't know, help, Idon't know to be helping.
Well, I, you know I use thatword loosely when it comes to
like mosquitoes, for sure.
So, wait, wait.
So, jim, real quick, I get intothe next session when they get
(33:22):
on the schedule and I'm alreadylike, do you really upset?
Yeah, can we talk about lastweek, you know, but I don't get
a chance to talk about last weekbecause my imaginary dog, you
know, like, like, I don't likethis rigamarole that we're a
part of right now.
(33:42):
You know, and no, even secondtime you've used rigamarole.
If you use it one more time youget a stamp.
Listen, man, every time, everytime I go around this
merry-go-round, right, you'renot going to get your stamp.
This total world, yeah, but forreal, it is like you see it
(34:09):
coming a mile away.
You know what I mean, but youknow, and you can be as
confrontational as you want toman, like you see it coming a
mile away.
Yep, you know what I mean, butbut the you know, you, and you
can be as confrontational as youwant At some clients, some
clients, this stuff just doesnot work on.
You know some clients you justgot to sit there and and and and
and meet them where they are,yep, or sometimes you lie to
(34:34):
them.
You say, hey, I'm closing mypractice down, it's been a
catastrophic family incident.
I'm never doing therapy again.
You change your practice name,get a new website, tell all the
other clients, take newheadshots, dye your hair, dye
your eyebrows, yep.
And then tell your client hey,it's just me, I was just joking.
Real quick, set up a time.
Go to my website and click theplease subscribe.
(34:58):
And then that's what yourclient is called like.
I'm tired of this rigmarole.
This is the last time you dyedyour hair purple.
This is getting out of hand.
This is the third time in thismonth.
Every time I see you, you got adifferent hairstyle.
He's asking me to paint cash.
He's asking me to meet him atyou know different.
It's the third time this month.
Third time this month.
Every time I see you, you got adifferent hairstyle.
He's asking me to paint cash.
He's asking me to meet him atyou know different locations.
(35:19):
And why are we doing therapy inthe back of the IHOP?
This is wild.
This is bananas.
I have never Bananas.
(36:17):
Yeah, thank you.
Let's check out, bro.
Quick check out, man.
Quick check out what youlooking forward to this week,
bro, how's the like?
How's the no sugar stuff going?
Like how you taking care ofyourself?
It's hard, I mean, you know,like I said, um, you know, um,
it's tough.
It's tough, jay, it's hard, Imean, you know, like I said, um,
you know, um, it's tough, it'stough, jay, it's tough, it's
(36:37):
tough.
It's just hard because it'severywhere.
It's everywhere, yeah, it'severywhere, you know, but I'm
doing good, I feel like I'mdoing good.
Yeah, I had some brownies theother day.
You sound like you're doinggood.
You sound like an addict.
Right now I'm good.
I just had some black tar.
I just had a little bit.
(37:01):
I ate it more out of respect.
Out of respect, people come andthey bring it to the house.
What are you going to do?
You throw it away, throw itaway, throw it away.
That's disrespectful, but thesepeople are hard on work.
This is money.
Hey, I told me, if I see it,I'm tossing it.
Wow, tossing I do.
(37:24):
I, I have, I have been doinggood, but I'm I mean, I'm
looking, I'm teaching class,yeah, looking forward to, um,
and you do it and you're doinganything, cause you usually do
like, uh, like something new orwhatever, like you're doing
anything different this semester.
Okay, okay, but I was, I couldprobably still sign up for it.
Um, I wanted to learn how toplay the piano.
(37:46):
Okay, okay, I want to.
I want to learn how to sing.
I want to learn how to sing.
Okay, I thought about doingthat.
Our university has a I forgetwhat you call it where they
teach you instruments and youcan pay about $300 and they'll
do private lessons for 14 weeks.
What I know, I know, I know,bro, I know, I know.
(38:11):
30-minute lessons for 14 weeksFor just faculty or for like
faculty no, no, faculty andstaff, I think.
But for families Faculty staffstudents and for families, what?
Yeah, man, $300 and they'llteach you how to play any
instrument for 14 weeks.
Yeah, not any instrument, but Ithink there's like 10 to choose
(38:33):
from.
Yeah, like piano, drums, likedrums, uh, uh, you know flute,
clarinet, guitar, bass guitar.
You know, like you gotta getthe kids in on this dog.
Well, well, they don't.
They don't do that because mykid, you know, it's like you
know six and up, you know, okay,okay, okay, yeah, yeah, six is
like the golden age.
Yeah, yeah, that's what's great.
(38:54):
Yeah, yeah, you know, and so,but they have like tiny, tight,
tight stuff.
But he has, he has music inkindergarten.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, music,kindergarten and so, um, yeah,
so I'm, I'm thinking about I'mstill like just on the fence,
whether or not I want to sign upfor that.
Yeah, yeah, you know, huh, thison the on the I really should.
I've been wanting to learn howto play piano for a while.
(39:16):
So, you know, I'm still, I'mstill learning spanish and I
love learning.
I feel like I'm getting so muchbetter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know,like I'm able to like, I'm able
to, like, talk wholeconversations.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I had aconversation with uh one of the
one of the uh one of the staffat UL, just walking in the
hallway, you know, walking inthe hallway man.
(39:38):
I heard him speaking Spanish.
I went up, spoke to him, askedhim where the cashier's office
was.
Yeah, you know, and he told me,and I was like all right, you
know, thanks, you know, and thatwas it, yeah, great, but anyway
, right, you know, yeah, thanks,you know, and that was it, yeah
great.
But anyway, you know, I'd saw,anyway, I think I'm, I think I'm
gonna, I think I think I may doit, do it, they may do it.
(39:59):
Man, just it's just like I'm, Idon't know how to play piano, I
don't know the.
I don't know the first thingabout playing, but you know how
to read music, though I used to,I mean, I used to be able to
sight read, you know, and now I,you know it's like, but that,
but that's like, uh, you knowthat's when I played bass.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so Idon't know.
(40:21):
Yeah, anyway, uh, yeah, man, uh, saints or same man.
I'm just trying to, I am uhtrying to be more consistent
with working out.
I started this thing called theConqueror Challenge.
You know where you get likemedals, yeah, yeah, yeah, bruh,
(40:42):
yeah, so they included rowing.
They included all kinds ofdifferent exercises that you
could supplement for walking orrunning.
For walking, yeah, so I'm doingrowing, uh, so I row, you know,
maybe, like I don't know, anhour, hour and a half a day, you
know, uh, you know.
So, just, yeah, man, just doingthose like little marathons.
You know, I think I'm doinglike a 40 miler, you know, which
(41:05):
is like 46 000 meters orsomething.
You get a nice metal, nice, oh,yeah, okay, I never got a metal
from that yet.
Yeah, it's super nice man.
Yeah, okay, I never got a metalfrom that yet.
Yeah, it's super nice man.
Yeah, I mean, you gotta, youwant you, that's what you're
paying for.
You're paying for, like, themetal, yeah, the metal, yeah,
and to be on the platform, yeah,yeah, but then you can get a
t-shirt too, okay, that, like,has the the race that you ran,
(41:25):
oh, dang, okay, you know, yeah,I'm a road.
Yeah, I might do that then, yeah, so I'm just, I'm just doing
that, man, I'm just trying tofind ways to not get like, to
not plateau word, yeah, to notplateau, you know.
So, yeah, yeah, just trying tomanage that with the kids too.
Man, hey, uh, you wake up earlywith your kids, huh, yeah, yeah
, I think I'm gonna start doingthat.
(41:47):
Yeah, I think I'm.
I think I need to start goingto sleep earlier.
Oh, yeah, man, yeah, yeah, I'dbe up late working, yeah, yeah,
and it's mainly because I don'tget any work done during the day
, because I'm mostly meetingwith people all day.
So what if you just said like,oh well, I'm just going to get
the work that I can get done andnot worry about the rest?
(42:09):
I don't know what would happen,you know like.
I mean genuinely, honestly,genuinely.
I think what would happen,especially in the role that I'm
in now.
It's like people wouldn't getcontracts, yeah, you know.
Like students wouldn't miss,like, getting into class on time
(42:32):
, yeah, yeah, you know likefinance their financial aid
would be messed up.
Financial aid would be impacted.
Yeah, like families wouldn't beable to get the money that they
need to like eat.
Yeah, and I'm not likesensationalizing it like this
city needs me, no, likelegitimately, but in in the role
that, yeah, you gotta like likean adjunct.
An adjunct is banking on beingable to have this, this much
(42:53):
money, so that way they can likeprovide for their family.
And if you're slipping on thecontracts, then you know, or
like somebody shoot you an emailand say like hey, we have a
student in our class who youknow they, for whatever reason,
can't walk up the stairs.
You know we need to accommodatethem, so we need to move the
class downstairs.
(43:13):
You, and it's like, yeah, youknow, they found that out on
monday.
The next class is on wednesdayand I'm just like I'll get to
the email on thursday.
Yeah, that's poor student, youknow.
Yeah, yeah, you know, and so itreally is like I need to like
go through and see, like what dowe need to answer right now?
You know, but the more and moreI'm doing it, the more and more
it feels like there are so manymore of those emails.
(43:35):
You know, and I don't know.
I just like meeting withstudents, yeah, you know.
So, like I don't want to saylike, nah, we can't meet and
talk, you know, because I got toanswer these emails, man, man,
man, they don't talk about this,they don't tell you about this.
Yeah, yeah, but but anyway,alright, man, hey, we'll be back
(43:59):
.
We'll be back next week.
Hey, man, we may have to pushthe cast release date till a
different time or switch outwhen we're actually recording
the cast, just because of youknow, both of our schedules, you
know.
So we'll let, we'll let y'allknow on the next cast when we're
going to shift.
That you know.
(44:19):
But we're going.
We're trying to get this stuffconsistently every week on
wednesdays, but it's gettingincreasingly difficult,
especially with me teaching onmonday and tuesdays.
Hey, hey, hey, y'all.
Hey, we got kids.
Yeah, y'all can get this.
Y'all gonna get, hey, y'all.
Hey, we got kids.
Yeah, y'all gonna get this castwhenever y'all get this cast.
All right, it's gonna be outsometime this week, all right,
hey, y'all, just chill.
(44:40):
We don't have, we're notbeholden to y'all's needs and
wants, you know.
Hey, pay us.
Yeah, let's start a Patreon,dude, you know, $150 a person.
Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yeah.
(45:01):
This last time I checked, thisthing was out in like 50
countries or something.
Yeah, yeah, $150.
We take euros too.
Yeah, and gold and chocolatechip cookies, whatever you got.
(45:23):
We barter too, breaking all therules.
Alright man, we're going to seeyou all next week Later.
Alright man, we're going to seeyou all next week Later.
hey, hey, welcome back to the cast man.
We're back again.
Back again for another week,all right, barely barely making
it, but we're back again, allBack again for another week,
barely Barely making it, butwe're back again, all right
Again.
We're going to start with alittle check in, we're going to
do a little topic and we'regoing to check out.
This is going to be a shotgunone, because it's like 10
o'clock at night.
(00:37):
We're both hot, hot off ofputting kids to sleep Tuckered,
tuckered out, tuckered, tuckeredout, tuckered out.
Man, let's check in.
G man, what's been going on foryou, bro, how you been feeling?
Real quick, ken startedkindergarten.
It's been fun Boy.
(00:57):
He's been thriving, thriving.
Honestly, it feels like he'sdeveloped so much since he
started the school.
Oh, wow, it's dope.
Okay, little small neighborhoodschool good people, has he?
Has he, uh, has he?
Has he started his firststartup?
Yet?
His startup?
Yeah, no, I think that's comingokay, yeah, but you get, you
(01:19):
get like a little bit offeedback from you know, from you
know, like you pick up and it'slike he's so sweet, like he's
so kind, you know.
So, yeah, it's dope man, it'sdope.
But how's he doing in pe though?
Oh, yeah, he's sweet, kind.
Yeah, cuckoo spart.
Yeah, but I don't know what'swhich hand does he throw with
what's his dominant foot?
I saw a ucla jacket.
(01:41):
Oh, yeah, clipboard, okay, youknow walking Uh-huh, and so I
don't know what that means.
Scouts are watching.
Yeah, scouts are watching.
Yeah, I picked him up and hesaid you don't got anything to
worry about, okay.
I said, okay, all right, soUCLA it is.
Huh, yeah, okay.
Nah, man, yeah, our semesterstarted Teaching the classes.
(02:03):
I love to teach, man, it's dope.
What classes are you teachingthis semester?
I love I teach theories.
I teach theories in internship.
One man, it's the best.
And I know they're listeningright now.
So you only teach in twoclasses.
Oh, yeah, I forgot, I teachthree.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then plusa freshman seminar, okay, yeah,
but I love teaching internship.
One, bro, it's like.
Bro, I be pushing them so hard.
(02:25):
Yeah, man, you know like andyou know what.
You know how they messed up.
It's because they showed me howmuch potential they got In
practical.
In practical, yeah, not even inpractical.
You know like, that firstsupervision session is like a
test.
Yeah, you know where you'relike.
Okay, where are you?
You know where you're like,okay, where are you?
(02:46):
You know, like, are we talkinglike you can actually do some
depth work?
Or are we talking like, okay, Ineed to get you to like You're
going to be somebody soundingboard, somebody sounding board,
exactly Like, where am I tryingto take you, you know?
But when everybody has thatlike potential to like rise
above it, yeah, that's when I'mlike, oh yeah, nah, we're gonna
(03:08):
have fun.
Yeah, you know, because, likewe talked about last time man,
it's a competition within thecompetition.
Yeah, yeah, you know, like Iwant people to look at my group
and go, oh gosh, yeah, I want, Iwanted to be like his students'
retention numbers are oddlyhigh, wow, you know.
(03:28):
Yeah, his students come out ofinternship charging $150 a
session.
It's madness, I'm trying to gethim there.
It's madness, you know, I'mtrying to get him there.
If only they but submit.
You know, if only they butsubmit, I command you to grow.
Now you have no choice.
(03:52):
It's super fun, bro, I got likea good group, like for real,
for real, yeah, you know I'm notjust saying that, because I
know they listen like it's areally good group.
You know, you can tell like youcould just feel Like, oh yeah,
everybody's committed Becausethey pay their tuition on time,
because I know that's what y'allthat does help.
No refund Above all else.
(04:13):
No refund, no, take back.
But Don't they call y'all thediploma mill of the Bible Belt.
Get out of here, get out ofhere.
Don't they call you theprinting press?
(04:34):
Yeah, but they do have some.
They do have some printingpresses, you know, around
unaccredited.
You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, youknow, two year provisionally
recruit.
I'm not saying but, um, anyway,man, yeah, all that stuff is
good, all that stuff is good.
(04:55):
Man, um, what was I about tosay?
Oh, but I gotta tell you thisfunny story dog, real quick,
real quick.
So, so, burman keen goes toschool.
Man violent gets up, burr, hecomes out.
He comes out.
He's like oh, good morning day.
I was like good morning, bub,did you sleep good?
He's like, yeah, I'm like didyou, did you, did you have some
(05:17):
good dreams?
He was like, yeah, I got somegood dreams.
Do you want something to eat?
He's like, yeah, can I get some?
Uh, I want a waffle, uh, figbar, uh, apple juice and milk
and a bowl of cereal.
Oh, wow, okay, bowl of drycereal.
I was like all right, man, yeah, I'll get you that stuff,
because they'd be eating, they,you know, they'd really be
(05:38):
eating breakfast where they'd beeating breakfast, man, and so,
anyway, so, anyway, so I'm aboutto leave, you know, because I
had worked out that morning.
So I'm about to leave to go gethim some food and he goes.
Wait, daddy, wait one second.
You know he gets up, walks tome and I go, you know, to give
him a hug.
And he turned around, put hisbutt on my kneecap and farted
(06:01):
Wow, I felt the wind, wow it.
And farting, wow, I felt thewind.
Wow, hit my kneecap, I felt thewind.
And then he turned and lookedat me and he goes, and then sat
down and I was like, dog, areyou serious?
It's unbelievable.
Oh, he's this now.
Now, your kneecap gotconjunctivitis, bro, diabolical,
(06:23):
your kneecap is infected.
It felt like he had been settingthat up since the moment he
came around.
It's been baking, yeah, it'sbeen baking.
Yeah, that's that boy, dad,stuff, man.
And I was like, oh man, he'sprobably sad because Ken's at
school, and you know, and that'sprobably why he's a little
sensitive this morning.
Maybe he wants a hug, maybe hewants a hug, maybe he wants a
hug, maybe he wants a hug, andthat's exactly what I thought.
(06:44):
I was like oh man, that's whatdad's here for.
Man, I got you, I got you, bro,I got you, I got you.
Oh, wow, okay, okay, all right,okay, all right, wow, is that
moisture?
Wow, ew, ill, yeah, bro, it wasyuck, yuck, man.
(07:05):
I was like you know, it's likeI try not to laugh at that stuff
because I don't want them tothink it's funny, you know, but
you got me.
I was like how could you not?
How could you not?
Yeah, anyway, man, that's mebro.
Oh man, all right, well, let me, let me, let me, let me check
in.
Oh, I didn't ask, I didn't ask,I thought we'd just get in,
(07:28):
because I know you don't got noreal update.
Okay, yeah, all right.
Well, all right, well, I'm fineover here anyway.
So, moving on to the topic,moving moving, number eight you
got your little job burn.
You walked on campus, got a lotof D cards.
Yeah, man, yeah, bro, yeah, I'mhome, I'm home, jt, yeah, I'm
(07:48):
home.
Yeah, y'all got a saying orsomething Like raging Cajuns,
yay, it's raging Cajuns, man, Idon't know, we too drunk to have
a saying, bro, see, that's thestuff we was talking about for
the cast.
Yeah, I can say it.
I work at a public university,man, I do not need to condone or
(08:12):
encourage.
Nah, man, nah, you know what,though?
This is the first place thatI've ever worked at where I
didn't have to mask my accent.
You know when I did not have tomask my accent, bro, don't do
you feel?
Do you feel like you mask it?
Oh, hell, yeah, code switch.
No, I think it's a little bitof both, but I think, yeah, I
(08:34):
think it's a little bit.
I don't feel, I think I don'tfeel like I'm hiding it.
I know people wouldn'tunderstand, people wouldn't
understand.
That's what I'm saying.
That's my point.
Like I'm not, I'm not.
I think people, they hear mespeak, they hear a faint like ah
, that's huh, there's somethingthere.
Yeah, he's not from around here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but now, now,I let the whole character out.
(08:58):
Yeah, I let, I let it out, man.
Yeah, I let it out.
I went cowboy out, man, yeah, Ilet it out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots toclass.
You know, I let the countryboys sing.
Yeah, man, country boys sing.
I'm high-stepping,high-stepping, high-stepping in
the boots, man, yeah, man, Ithink you ain't got bad knees.
(09:19):
You know you got no cartilageto be wearing.
Hey, man, I might ride a horseto class, man, I don't know.
You know I might, but you knowyou can't get up on that horse.
Man, the horse is going to be.
I was just talking about justbasic mobility.
Just kill me, I don't want tobe here.
(09:56):
Get this person, what is that?
God, get it off of me.
Ouch, mr, ouch, ouch, just init quickly, oh man, yeah, yeah,
(10:42):
yeah.
Oh man, that's you Country bar.
Tread right into his office.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, you knowyou still got to get a parking
tag.
I got to get a parking tag, man.
Man, my office is off campus.
We got our own little buildingman off campus.
But it's nice, is like, and no,wish you luck, man, wish bro,
(11:06):
bro, bro, bro, no disrespect toany university that I've ever
worked at, man, but this, this,just no disrespect.
No, it was interesting man.
No, seriously, what'sinteresting is that, like this
university is the perfect fitfor like where I'm at in life
right now.
You know, it's a perfect fit.
I want to go to football gameswith the kids.
I want to be a citizen ofcampus.
(11:29):
It's a good opportunity.
It's just a really good fit,man.
So, yeah, bro, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But so, yeah, the job thing iscool man, but dog, man, I've
really been taking care ofmyself, man, I've been taking
care of myself more than I'veever taken care of myself before
.
Like ever, ever.
(11:51):
Man, like working out,consistently eating healthier
man, yeah, just avoiding, like,the pitfalls, you know, you know
, like not being too hard onmyself.
You know, yeah, man, like notnot working on the weekends,
(12:11):
like not working on the weekends, dog, just like, I know, I, I
feel that I feel that from youman, I'm trying to be positive
and you know you always gotta,you always gotta put me through,
and you know you always gotta,you always gotta put me through
this.
No, no, you always gotta put methrough this self-pity rig on
my row.
No, dude, you always have to dothis.
I would just, I would justencourage you to consider those
(12:32):
who suffer because of yourself-care.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
You see, yeah, yeah, there isno self-care.
Yeah, okay.
You see, yeah, yeah, there isno self-care without other hurt.
So you know, just when you yeah, when you it's in the second
edition yeah when you thinkabout caring for yourself, just
also be cognizant of the onesyou have to deal with the fact
(12:54):
that you can't pray.
Yeah, you know it's the otherside of the coin.
Yeah, you can't pray, so youknow it's the other side of the
coin.
Yeah, man, yeah, self-care,careless, yeah Amen.
Hey, this is the most I've evercared for myself, man, so in a
really long time.
So that's cool, bro.
Yeah, man, yeah, that's coolman.
Kids are good man.
(13:20):
You got to try to keep it up.
When the semester starts,that's always the thing that's
gonna be the biggest thing, man,it's gonna be the biggest thing
, man.
It's so easy to like like, ohman, I'm in between meetings, I
gotta let me just run and getyou know whatever you know.
Uh, which is why, which is whyI got this food supplement.
I got these sup.
I got this, um, these, uh,multivitamins.
I'm not, I'm not putting, I'mnot putting on there, man, I'm
just, I'm just telling you, man,I got multivitamins.
(13:40):
I'm not, I'm not putting, I'mnot putting no names out there,
man, I'm just, I'm just tellingyou, man, I got multivitamins.
I got this food supplement towhere, like, if I need to eat a
meal in a, in a rush, like it'sa meal that I can eat in a rush,
and I'm also like a mealprepping, not like the tiktok
instagram stuff.
You see where I'm like cooking15 chicken thighs, you know, on
(14:01):
a sunday, you know, like, nah,man, just like you know, one,
two, three meals a week, youknow up to where, like you know,
no, not a sandwich.
We got too much sugar in breadanyway.
Uh, wow, yeah, I'm telling you,man, what about the sugar-free
bread?
The sugar-free, you mean air?
Oh, the sugar-free, you meanair.
Huh, the sugar-free bread?
Oh, you mean croutons, you meancroutons?
(14:25):
No, I don't.
It's not a wrap where you putcheese and turkey meat in the
palm of your hand and you juststuff it.
You stuff it, you put the otherhand on top of it, uh-huh,
there you go.
It's a sandwich.
No, I'm pretty sure there's,like somebody, a sugarless
sandwich.
I'm pretty sure there'ssomebody listening to this gas
thing.
You're like, oh, these idiots,man, just use the Ezekiel
(14:48):
Chabata Spanish bread from theCaucasus Mountains and you put
the.
You know you air fry it, thenyou freeze dry it.
Probably some dietician, somedietician, you know.
You air fry it, then you freezedry it.
Probably some dietitian, somedietitian somewhere.
Listen, we don't know what we'redoing.
I'm just trying to take care ofmyself, man, yeah, trying to
care myself anyway, anyway.
(15:09):
So, all right, it's that stuffwhat you want to, what you want
to talk about.
So, all right.
So, man bro, I want some stufftoo, but oh, okay, well, maybe,
maybe, maybe we can touch on abunch of things for man, all
right.
So this is.
This is kind of what's beenhappening in my practice lately,
right so, man.
(15:30):
So Thank you.
So what I've been finding isthat, like I'm in a transition
(16:47):
where I'm transitioning a lot ofclients out of my practice
right, because I'm starting thisnew job, like a lot of clients
are being transitioned out.
That's what you're calling it.
Yeah, that's what I call it.
That's what's happening.
Okay, what it actually is islike pure and utter sure, no,
call pure and utter abandonmenton my part.
Yes, pure and utter abandonment.
Nah, man, nah.
But yeah, for real, you gottalike thin, thin the caseload,
(17:11):
right, just thin out thecaseload, right.
Well, like you're having toughconversations, but like, what
are we?
What are we doing?
You know, like, what are wedoing?
Like, do you need this weekly?
You know, like, is thissomething that you know?
And I've been getting a lot ofpeople saying like yo, actually
I was trying to figure out a wayto talk to you about it, like
(17:31):
this has been extremely helpfuland, yeah, I don't really need
to see you once a week, like Ineed to see you like once a
month, you know, yeah.
So we have, we have see youlike once a month, you know,
yeah.
So we have those conversationsabout like right, why, man, you
know, and like what's been sogood and what are you taking
from this and how are you goingto care for yourself, right,
yeah?
But then I have other clientsright who I don't know how else
(17:57):
to say this, but it's almostlike they refuse.
They refuse the idea that theydon't need weekly therapy, that
(18:17):
they don't need it for them.
It's like, no, I need weeklytherapy.
Oh, I need, yeah, there's noway I cannot have weekly therapy
, you know.
And it's like, yeah, it's.
I mean it's.
Does it sound like dependence?
I don't know if it's dependentor is it, um, delusional, that's
(18:39):
what I think.
That think, that's kind of whatit is.
It's like I think that sometimes, because, you know, I have this
vantage point of seeing youknow, like, what people's lives
look like on an hourly basis,right?
So because of that, I get thisidea of like you know you can't
really compare people's issuesright For sure.
(19:00):
Like you know the you can'treally compare people's issues
right for sure, but like you dohave this barometer, you do have
this like measuring stick, youknow we'll come in with some hey
and then yeah, man, yeah, andthen your next hour.
It's like you know they gotlike test anxiety, not saying,
not slagging, that's exactly,it's not a real thing.
But it's also like there's somequalitative differences between
(19:21):
like losing a child exactlylike being worried about getting
to be on the test, exactly dog,so so and I don't want to be
disrespectful to the client'sprocess, of course, right, but
there is a part of it that'slike I don't think.
I don't.
I, I know you think that whatyou're experiencing is really
(19:44):
hard and harsh and the world isbenignly indifferent to your
suffering, but it's not that bad, it's not.
I just I think like, how much,how much of the, how much of
(20:06):
this do you feel?
Like is like, yeah, man, thissounds terrible, but like a
romanticization of struggle,yeah, of like labels.
You know struggle, yeah, oflike labels, you know, you know
what I mean.
Oh, yeah, man, and this need tolike hold on, let me finish.
(20:31):
Let me finish this need to like, this need to like have
something that makes things makesense in life.
You know what I mean.
Like situations like you know.
Like you know like people, likeyou got social anxiety.
You know like, do you gotsocial anxiety or do you just
(20:51):
not have the skills to talk topeople?
Well, what?
What happens if?
What happens if the therapistsays, hey, this is not really
that like bad of an issue, likethis is not really that, this is
not really that intense, youknow, like it's, it's, it's not,
it's not as intense as youthink it is and it's definitely
(21:15):
not so intense that it warrantsweekly therapy.
Dog, I've had that conversation, you know, I've had that
conversation, like recently.
You know, with, like a client,where and the way, the way that
they like describe theirexperience.
You know it's like.
You know they'll say thingslike I'm crazy.
You know, yeah, this is theworst.
(21:35):
Yeah, I bet you, I bet you'venever seen this before.
Like I told you yeah, or like,or like.
Nah, it's me, like I'm theproblem.
Yeah, you know, yeah and like,and when they say stuff like
that, it's almost like they wantyour reaction to be like oh man
, I, just what are we gonna dolike?
This is complicated, you know,like, I don't.
(21:55):
You know, as opposed to like,and this is what I.
This is why I love teaching.
Internship one is because ininternship one, you can like,
push the students to explainanything under the sun from a
theoretical perspective.
You know, you can explain theway the earth rotates around the
sun using systemic theory.
(22:17):
Yeah, son, using systemictheory.
Yeah, that I want you to thinkabout attachment injuries
whenever the like.
You know what I mean.
Like, that's how much I wantyou to be able to think
theoretically.
Yeah, you know what I mean andso you can.
And I think that's why theycall the shrinks is because we
can shrink down any big,horrible problem into a
(22:40):
theoretical construct that willmake that thing make sense.
Yeah, yeah, you know what Imean.
But clients don't want that.
It feels like no, it's almostlike they want validation that
their issue is as bad as theythink it is, yeah, and that it
(23:04):
really warrants their prolongedsuffering.
Yeah, you know, because youcan't just tell them.
Actually it's a matter ofchoice.
Yeah, you could choose not tothink that way.
You know, I completely get it.
(23:30):
Impairment that prevented youfrom even rationalizing an ideal
that the world can look adifferent way than it is, that
it looks now.
But you don't have that type of.
That's not your reality.
If you wanted to, you coulddecide not to engage with your
(23:50):
mom.
You can make that choice like,yeah, man, like you don't, you
don't necessarily needmotivation to do things.
Like you could just do it evenif you're not motivated.
Yeah.
Or you can start workingtowards like acceptance of self,
exactly, acceptance otherpeople, acceptance of the world.
(24:12):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
It's, it's your choice,whatever, whatever direction you
want to go on.
But you know that sounds likecallous, though you know, to
some extent it sounds a littlebit like yes, flip it, like flip
over, yep, you know what I mean?
Um, but but that's not whatwe're saying, that's not what it
is, especially if the personhas like, especially if the
(24:37):
person's problem is the problem,right, and not if that person's
solution, solution to theproblem, becomes the problem
Exactly.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes, you know what I mean yesBecause, like when you're
sitting down in a room withsomebody and they're sharing
their story and stuff, and Istart to get a feeling that like
(25:00):
it feels like we're talkingabout your solution and not the
problem Uh-huh and yourdysfunctional solution, so that
we can actually start doing thedepth of work it takes.
(25:20):
But but it feels like sometimesclients don't want you to touch
the deep work.
I mean, obviously they wouldn't, because hurts, you know, but
they want you to treat thesurface level issue as if it's
the bottom of the barrel issue.
The frustrating part is whenyou, as a therapist, and the
(25:42):
client are both aware of thedeeper issue.
You're both aware of it, youboth know it, and you, as a
therapist, you name it right,yeah, like you say, like, hey, I
don't think, I don't thinkthere is, there's nothing that's
going to change this dynamicbetween you and your mom.
(26:05):
I'm just using that as anexample because, yeah, because,
because you love that dynamicLike you, you love, you need
that dynamic, like you need itcreates definition and we talked
about this in the past.
It's like needing that toxicity,Right, right, right, right,
whatever, whatever it is, youknow like you need that dynamic,
because that dynamic, like itdefines life.
(26:26):
You know, yeah, and if you madea choice not to let it define
your life, your life wouldbecome almost like meaningless,
meaningless.
Made a choice not to let itdefine your life, your life
would become almost likemeaningless, meaningless.
You know, like you, at leastyou you definitely be spiraling
in some like undefined territory, yeah, you know, and and that
is not worth going through.
Yeah, it's not worth goingthrough.
So then what happens is when Isay, yo, I don't think we need
(26:50):
therapy once a week, it's like,well, what do you mean?
I think that this thingwarrants, you know, I need a
two-hour session.
You know, like the worst isthat the.
I think sometimes, like thething that, like you know,
frustrating is not really theword, it's more just like it
(27:11):
makes me sad.
You know, it's that that, like,when people are so stuck in
their own stuff, sometimes theyexperience you trying to support
their independence, as yousaying, like what they hear is I
don't want to be around you.
Yeah, I don't like you.
You know what I mean.
And, like you know, as atherapist, you can sense like,
(27:33):
oh, yeah, this is coming from aplace of like rejection, uh-huh,
and like fear of rejection.
You know what I mean, but thetruth is still there.
That, like, I don't think weneed to continue in this way.
Like, let's meet once a month,yeah, or let's meet once every
other month, yeah, let's meetonce a month.
Or let's meet once every othermonth, yeah, you know, yeah,
yeah, but it's just, it's justhard.
(27:54):
No, but there is I don'tremember when this happened, but
there is a client on mycaseload now that I genuinely, I
genuinely don't like Like, Idon't like, I don't like the
sessions, I don't like, yeah, Idon't like the work we're doing.
I find the work that we'redoing kind of like meaningless
(28:16):
and pointless.
You know, I oftentimes get likevery frustrated with just like
the very idea that we like thestuff that we talk about.
You know, it's like we talkedabout this already, we talked
about this already.
Like, yes, I know exactly whatstory you're talking about.
I know exactly where we'regoing, because you've said this
(28:38):
story thousands of times.
Why do we keep going back here?
Like, what am I doing?
Why are we here?
You know, yeah, and then youturn away from the mirror and
turn the lights off Yep, yeah,and I walk out of the bathroom.
And then it goes from themirror and turn the lights off
and I walk out of the bathroomYep, and I leave my wife to
clean up the clown makeup fromthe bowl as I go and supervise
(29:08):
students.
Nah, man, nah.
But yeah, there's a real clientout there, man, and and every,
every time I see this person,every time I see this person
talk, I'm always like, yep, okay, like yeah, yeah, like what do
we?
And it and it's, and it's notthe client, it's the process.
(29:28):
Kind of wow, kind of wow, youknow why is we're not, we're not
supposed to, we're not supposedto be, you're not supposed to
have feelings towards otherhumans, we're just supposed to
be these clinical robots.
You know, that's just, yeah,this non-judgmental.
(29:49):
You know, if you have feelingstowards your clients in this way
, man, that's probably a hugesign of kind of transference.
I'm telling you, man, thisperson would not be somebody
that I would gravitate towardsin life, would not be somebody I
would gravitate towards in life.
You know, and it's becomingevident in the way that I treat
(30:12):
this person in session.
Oh, yeah, I try not to.
I try not to, but you know what?
I am becoming very cognizant ofhow much session time is spent
me trying not to.
Yeah, you know, and it's a lotof time in session.
(30:32):
It's a lot of time in session.
It's a lot of time, more timethan productive, more time I'm
pretty sure they perceive it too.
I'm pretty sure they're likesomething's up, something's up,
yeah, something's up.
I don't even know how to like.
(30:53):
You know, what I want to say ishey, I don't like you, like, uh
, you know, I don't mean.
I've heard you say that before,it's true, yeah, yeah.
And then again you turn awayfrom the mirror, turn the light
off.
And, uh, you turn away from themirror, turn the light off.
(31:14):
Hey, man, I don't like you and,quite frankly, I'm tired of
being in this relationship.
Yeah, man, tired of being inthis relationship.
Yeah, yeah, man, I just don'tknow if there's anything to like
(31:35):
.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, like, I think I think you, I think you can have, like,
you know, just like honestconversations with clients.
But but it kind of depends, man,if they're, if you're, in
private practice and you'retaking private pay yeah, you
know right and that client sayslike, no, I because I've had
this happen to where clientswill go like, nah, I hear you,
(31:57):
like, doc, I hear you and also Iwant to keep working with you,
right, same like, even if, evenif there's some weeks we don't
miss, or even if there's a weekwe go and there's not much for
us to talk about.
You know I, just, you know, Ineed you in my life.
Same, same, same.
This person, I need you.
(32:18):
This person man, is a client whowill say can we just have two
hours?
Like, can we just have a twohour session?
You know, it's like I can't,like my schedule will not allow
me to have two hours.
You know I said well, fine,when is your next opening?
Like 8 am on monday?
(32:40):
That's the only time I haveavailable this week.
Well, fine, put me down.
You know, and that's it's eighto'clock on monday, and like
they don't show up.
You know, it's like what?
It's tough, like mind games,yeah, like, hey, yeah, yeah, hey
.
Like first off, you know I'mgonna have to charge you right,
(33:01):
and then second off, why'd you,why'd you make me schedule you
when somebody else who needs myhelp could be in that time slot?
Help, I don't know, help, Idon't know to be helping.
Well, I, you know I use thatword loosely when it comes to
like mosquitoes, for sure.
So, wait, wait.
So, jim, real quick, I get intothe next session when they get
(33:22):
on the schedule and I'm alreadylike, do you really upset?
Yeah, can we talk about lastweek, you know, but I don't get
a chance to talk about last weekbecause my imaginary dog, you
know, like, like, I don't likethis rigamarole that we're a
part of right now.
(33:42):
You know, and no, even secondtime you've used rigamarole.
If you use it one more time youget a stamp.
Listen, man, every time, everytime I go around this
merry-go-round, right, you'renot going to get your stamp.
This total world, yeah, but forreal, it is like you see it
(34:09):
coming a mile away.
You know what I mean, but youknow, and you can be as
confrontational as you want toman, like you see it coming a
mile away.
Yep, you know what I mean, butbut the you know, you, and you
can be as confrontational as youwant At some clients, some
clients, this stuff just doesnot work on.
You know some clients you justgot to sit there and and and and
and meet them where they are,yep, or sometimes you lie to
(34:34):
them.
You say, hey, I'm closing mypractice down, it's been a
catastrophic family incident.
I'm never doing therapy again.
You change your practice name,get a new website, tell all the
other clients, take newheadshots, dye your hair, dye
your eyebrows, yep.
And then tell your client hey,it's just me, I was just joking.
Real quick, set up a time.
Go to my website and click theplease subscribe.
(34:58):
And then that's what yourclient is called like.
I'm tired of this rigmarole.
This is the last time you dyedyour hair purple.
This is getting out of hand.
This is the third time in thismonth.
Every time I see you, you got adifferent hairstyle.
He's asking me to paint cash.
He's asking me to meet him atyou know different.
It's the third time this month.
Third time this month.
Every time I see you, you got adifferent hairstyle.
He's asking me to paint cash.
He's asking me to meet him atyou know different locations.
(35:19):
And why are we doing therapy inthe back of the IHOP?
This is wild.
This is bananas.
I have never Bananas.
(36:17):
Yeah, thank you.
Let's check out, bro.
Quick check out, man.
Quick check out what youlooking forward to this week,
bro, how's the like?
How's the no sugar stuff going?
Like how you taking care ofyourself?
It's hard, I mean, you know,like I said, um, you know, um,
it's tough.
It's tough, jay, it's hard, Imean, you know, like I said, um,
you know, um, it's tough, it'stough, jay, it's tough, it's
(36:37):
tough.
It's just hard because it'severywhere.
It's everywhere, yeah, it'severywhere, you know, but I'm
doing good, I feel like I'mdoing good.
Yeah, I had some brownies theother day.
You sound like you're doinggood.
You sound like an addict.
Right now I'm good.
I just had some black tar.
I just had a little bit.
(37:01):
I ate it more out of respect.
Out of respect, people come andthey bring it to the house.
What are you going to do?
You throw it away, throw itaway, throw it away.
That's disrespectful, but thesepeople are hard on work.
This is money.
Hey, I told me, if I see it,I'm tossing it.
Wow, tossing I do.
(37:24):
I, I have, I have been doinggood, but I'm I mean, I'm
looking, I'm teaching class,yeah, looking forward to, um,
and you do it and you're doinganything, cause you usually do
like, uh, like something new orwhatever, like you're doing
anything different this semester.
Okay, okay, but I was, I couldprobably still sign up for it.
Um, I wanted to learn how toplay the piano.
(37:46):
Okay, okay, I want to.
I want to learn how to sing.
I want to learn how to sing.
Okay, I thought about doingthat.
Our university has a I forgetwhat you call it where they
teach you instruments and youcan pay about $300 and they'll
do private lessons for 14 weeks.
What I know, I know, I know,bro, I know, I know.
(38:11):
30-minute lessons for 14 weeksFor just faculty or for like
faculty no, no, faculty andstaff, I think.
But for families Faculty staffstudents and for families, what?
Yeah, man, $300 and they'llteach you how to play any
instrument for 14 weeks.
Yeah, not any instrument, but Ithink there's like 10 to choose
(38:33):
from.
Yeah, like piano, drums, likedrums, uh, uh, you know flute,
clarinet, guitar, bass guitar.
You know, like you gotta getthe kids in on this dog.
Well, well, they don't.
They don't do that because mykid, you know, it's like you
know six and up, you know, okay,okay, okay, yeah, yeah, six is
like the golden age.
Yeah, yeah, that's what's great.
(38:54):
Yeah, yeah, you know, and so,but they have like tiny, tight,
tight stuff.
But he has, he has music inkindergarten.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, music,kindergarten and so, um, yeah,
so I'm, I'm thinking about I'mstill like just on the fence,
whether or not I want to sign upfor that.
Yeah, yeah, you know, huh, thison the on the I really should.
I've been wanting to learn howto play piano for a while.
(39:16):
So, you know, I'm still, I'mstill learning spanish and I
love learning.
I feel like I'm getting so muchbetter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know,like I'm able to like, I'm able
to, like, talk wholeconversations.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I had aconversation with uh one of the
one of the uh one of the staffat UL, just walking in the
hallway, you know, walking inthe hallway man.
(39:38):
I heard him speaking Spanish.
I went up, spoke to him, askedhim where the cashier's office
was.
Yeah, you know, and he told me,and I was like all right, you
know, thanks, you know, and thatwas it, yeah, great, but anyway
, right, you know, yeah, thanks,you know, and that was it, yeah
great.
But anyway, you know, I'd saw,anyway, I think I'm, I think I'm
gonna, I think I think I may doit, do it, they may do it.
(39:59):
Man, just it's just like I'm, Idon't know how to play piano, I
don't know the.
I don't know the first thingabout playing, but you know how
to read music, though I used to,I mean, I used to be able to
sight read, you know, and now I,you know it's like, but that,
but that's like, uh, you knowthat's when I played bass.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so Idon't know.
(40:21):
Yeah, anyway, uh, yeah, man, uh, saints or same man.
I'm just trying to, I am uhtrying to be more consistent
with working out.
I started this thing called theConqueror Challenge.
You know where you get likemedals, yeah, yeah, yeah, bruh,
(40:42):
yeah, so they included rowing.
They included all kinds ofdifferent exercises that you
could supplement for walking orrunning.
For walking, yeah, so I'm doingrowing, uh, so I row, you know,
maybe, like I don't know, anhour, hour and a half a day, you
know, uh, you know.
So, just, yeah, man, just doingthose like little marathons.
You know, I think I'm doinglike a 40 miler, you know, which
(41:05):
is like 46 000 meters orsomething.
You get a nice metal, nice, oh,yeah, okay, I never got a metal
from that yet.
Yeah, it's super nice man.
Yeah, okay, I never got a metalfrom that yet.
Yeah, it's super nice man.
Yeah, I mean, you gotta, youwant you, that's what you're
paying for.
You're paying for, like, themetal, yeah, the metal, yeah,
and to be on the platform, yeah,yeah, but then you can get a
t-shirt too, okay, that, like,has the the race that you ran,
(41:25):
oh, dang, okay, you know, yeah,I'm a road.
Yeah, I might do that then, yeah, so I'm just, I'm just doing
that, man, I'm just trying tofind ways to not get like, to
not plateau word, yeah, to notplateau, you know.
So, yeah, yeah, just trying tomanage that with the kids too.
Man, hey, uh, you wake up earlywith your kids, huh, yeah, yeah
, I think I'm gonna start doingthat.
(41:47):
Yeah, I think I'm.
I think I need to start goingto sleep earlier.
Oh, yeah, man, yeah, yeah, I'dbe up late working, yeah, yeah,
and it's mainly because I don'tget any work done during the day
, because I'm mostly meetingwith people all day.
So what if you just said like,oh well, I'm just going to get
the work that I can get done andnot worry about the rest?
(42:09):
I don't know what would happen,you know like.
I mean genuinely, honestly,genuinely.
I think what would happen,especially in the role that I'm
in now.
It's like people wouldn't getcontracts, yeah, you know.
Like students wouldn't miss,like, getting into class on time
(42:32):
, yeah, yeah, you know likefinance their financial aid
would be messed up.
Financial aid would be impacted.
Yeah, like families wouldn't beable to get the money that they
need to like eat.
Yeah, and I'm not likesensationalizing it like this
city needs me, no, likelegitimately, but in in the role
that, yeah, you gotta like likean adjunct.
An adjunct is banking on beingable to have this, this much
(42:53):
money, so that way they can likeprovide for their family.
And if you're slipping on thecontracts, then you know, or
like somebody shoot you an emailand say like hey, we have a
student in our class who youknow they, for whatever reason,
can't walk up the stairs.
You know we need to accommodatethem, so we need to move the
class downstairs.
(43:13):
You, and it's like, yeah, youknow, they found that out on
monday.
The next class is on wednesdayand I'm just like I'll get to
the email on thursday.
Yeah, that's poor student, youknow.
Yeah, yeah, you know, and so itreally is like I need to like
go through and see, like what dowe need to answer right now?
You know, but the more and moreI'm doing it, the more and more
it feels like there are so manymore of those emails.
(43:35):
You know, and I don't know.
I just like meeting withstudents, yeah, you know.
So, like I don't want to saylike, nah, we can't meet and
talk, you know, because I got toanswer these emails, man, man,
man, they don't talk about this,they don't tell you about this.
Yeah, yeah, but but anyway,alright, man, hey, we'll be back
(43:59):
.
We'll be back next week.
Hey, man, we may have to pushthe cast release date till a
different time or switch outwhen we're actually recording
the cast, just because of youknow, both of our schedules, you
know.
So we'll let, we'll let y'allknow on the next cast when we're
going to shift.
That you know.
(44:19):
But we're going.
We're trying to get this stuffconsistently every week on
wednesdays, but it's gettingincreasingly difficult,
especially with me teaching onmonday and tuesdays.
Hey, hey, hey, y'all.
Hey, we got kids.
Yeah, y'all can get this.
Y'all gonna get, hey, y'all.
Hey, we got kids.
Yeah, y'all gonna get this castwhenever y'all get this cast.
All right, it's gonna be outsometime this week, all right,
hey, y'all, just chill.
(44:40):
We don't have, we're notbeholden to y'all's needs and
wants, you know.
Hey, pay us.
Yeah, let's start a Patreon,dude, you know, $150 a person.
Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yeah.
(45:01):
This last time I checked, thisthing was out in like 50
countries or something.
Yeah, yeah, $150.
We take euros too.
Yeah, and gold and chocolatechip cookies, whatever you got.
(45:23):
We barter too, breaking all therules.
Alright man, we're going to seeyou all next week Later.
Alright man, we're going to seeyou all next week Later.
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