October 18, 2024 • 56 mins
What happens when your little soccer star decides to hang up their cleats, but the family legacy of sports beckons with open arms? Join us as we navigate the twists and turns of parenting with a smile, sharing the tale of Valen's candid farewell to soccer and our amusing exploration of new athletic avenues like tennis or golf. Amidst the laughter, we find time to chat about our academic pursuits and the epic battles of our Dungeons & Dragons campaign, where reaching level three has brought a new wave of excitement and adventure.
In a delightful shift, we explore the world of youth sports through Cairo's lens, as he faces the thrill and pressure of trying out for a development program. With a mix of humor and sentiment, we discuss the balance between fostering a competitive edge and ensuring the joy of the game remains intact. Celebrate with us as we cherish these pivotal moments, witnessing young athletes like Cairo embrace their potential and savor the journey of growth and resilience on the field.
Ever wondered what it feels like to captivate an audience at a prestigious conference? Picture this: delivering a keynote at the Louisiana Counseling Association and the blend of nerves and excitement it brings. We recount the highlights of our talk, the quirky moments, and the warm atmosphere that made it all feel like a home game. From the challenges introverts face in the spotlight to the unexpected energy that comes from audience engagement, we reflect on the importance of mentorship in navigating the professional world and balancing personal comfort with public visibility.
If you have any questions about any counseling related topics or would like the twins to share their thoughts about a particular counseling case - reach out with the info below:
https://thetwintherapists.com/
Instagram: thetwintherapists
Contact: thetwintherapists@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Welcome back to the cast.
It feels like it's been acouple days, but really it's
been like what?
A week and a half since we didthis.
Man, who knows anymore?
Who knows anymore?
Man, who knows?
Yeah, man, yeah, we got alittle check-in.
Then we're going to do a littletopic and then we're going to
do a little check-out.
All of our children are sleepingright now.
(00:33):
Everyone in our houses aresleeping, so at any point a baby
could wake up and ruin thiswhole podcast, yeah, man.
So you know, uh, just bear withus.
You may only get just a coupleof seconds from us tonight.
You know, just a couple ofseconds from this man, that's,
that's, that's all you may getfrom us, you know?
All right, man, let's do somecheck-ins.
(00:55):
Man, what, uh, what was goingon over there?
Do want to share with thepeople?
Man, we quit.
Man, oh, you quit.
Okay, we quit.
Nah, nah, nah, man, this is thelast cast.
Nah, nah, I'm talking aboutsoccer.
Man, I'm talking about soccer.
Yeah, I mean, if the listenerswere listening, a couple weeks
(01:20):
ago you heard that Valen, he wonthe medal, played, played his
little butt off, you know, andthen he just didn't want to do
it anymore.
Man and dog, dog, right, I'mtrying to and you know it was it
was.
I'm trying my best, you know,right, try my best.
(01:40):
I think in the last guys Italked about it, you know, yeah,
but he looked at me, man, andhe was like for real, like,
daddy, I don't want to play, Inever want to play.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't like the crowds, youknow.
And I think back to when wewere singing them happy birthday
, you know, for his thirdbirthday and everybody's there,
all of his friends and lovedones are there.
(02:01):
You know, I think we were therefor that third birthday and I
remember him being like I don'tlike this.
Yeah, it was.
It was like, all right, valent,happy birth.
And then he quieted the car.
I remember that, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so he had like 30, 45.
We had the same whisper in theliving room going happy birthday
, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh-huh.
(02:25):
And the thing is is that he'snot shy, you know, like he's not
, he's not scared, he justdoesn't like it, yeah.
So, yeah, we had a tough choice, man, I just hey, look, I said,
look, man, me, and you can, andyou can go.
Are you going to give him awayto a family that needs a more
(02:47):
quiet child or a child that'sless athletic.
Yeah, we gave him away that day.
Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, we lovehim, though, because, as for us
, in this house, in this house,in this house, oh, no, we play.
Yeah, yeah, oh no, we play,yeah, yeah, no man, no, no, I
(03:09):
think he might be a tennisplayer, I think he may be a golf
player.
I think he may be, I think hemay be.
For those who don't know, jude'sa lovely bride.
Yeah, almost had like a dualscholarship in soccer and tennis
.
Yeah, man, in college, that shein college, so she did.
But let's just say, let's justsay with that, let's just say
(03:37):
what the old is doing something,let's just say with the oldest
skin, oh, the circle is closed.
Oh yeah, I'm gonna dog get him,I'm gonna dog it's, I'm gonna
make a name for myself today.
Hey, man, for real, though, forreal, it was, it was, it was
nice man, it was nice, it wasnice man.
(03:59):
Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah, um,that's it, that's it, man,
that's it.
Semester's gone good, um,theories, class wrapping up,
everything's going pretty smooth, man.
Uh, d and D is uh happening.
We moved up to level three.
And so, you know, castingspells went to Bard college.
I'm playing the Bard.
For those of you in the know,you know, yeah, I fought a demon
(04:23):
, baby, I fought a vampire today.
Yeah, wow, dog, it's fun.
Man, yeah, it's fun.
Yeah, I know it's fun.
We were too busy, I don't know,being athletes and going to
parties in high school to betrapped in somebody's basement
playing the loser game.
(04:45):
As far as I'm concerned, that'show bad.
To each his own.
To each his own In the gym.
Listening to in the gym pumpingiron, listening to Brandon
Sanderson yeah, the nerd wasalways in there.
He was in there.
I wish it was something that alot of people I wish it was
(05:05):
something that we would havegotten into earlier.
It seems like a huge wave incounseling of D&D being more a
part of the lexicon.
It was in Times Square.
Man, what is happening overthere?
Wake up, jt, come on, man, it'slate, it's late.
Wake up, jt, come on, man.
The people came here.
(05:28):
No, this is what you wanted.
No, this is what you wanted.
No, what I want is a consistenttime throughout the week that
we can count on, with areassurance that you will be
present for the cast.
But no, I got to get the scrapsof a 10, 30 cent.
What am I, jude?
Some backdoor Jezebel that youonly call at night time?
(05:53):
What is this?
What am I to you?
What are we?
Do I even have anything?
You know what's funny, man?
Do your friends know about me?
So you know we lost a facultyanything.
You know it's funny, man.
Do your friends know about me?
So you know we lost a facultymember.
You know moment of silence.
You know he's a listener.
If all the cast members, if allthe cast listeners can just send
(06:18):
some mental energy ofreconnection to this person, you
know if y'all could lift him upback towards home yeah, you
know if and send a subliminalmessage that if it doesn't work
out at the university that he'scurrently at the university of
louisiana is also looking for anassociate.
(06:39):
Oh, don't do that.
Come on, bro.
Yeah, yeah, we'll treat younice over here, yeah, nah, if
y'all could just all one, comeon, come on, come on down
further south.
Get some of this gumbo andetouffee man.
Hey, hey, come on.
We got Crunella.
Don't do it like that.
Come on to feel it in hisspinal cord.
(07:02):
You know the, the, the tug.
You know the naval tug backhome.
You know, um, yeah, that wouldbe nice, but it's funny because
he, you know he's a part of ittoo, and so you know it's like
he never left.
You know, yeah, but, uh, it'sdefinitely, it's definitely fun.
(07:22):
You know, just, just just justbeing treated like the side
chick.
You know, wow, okay, that's it,and you know whether he wants
to acknowledge it or not.
Yeah, it's how I feel.
You know, wow, wow, so okay,yeah, all right, okay, all right
, it's fine.
It's fine, though.
No, it's fine.
(07:43):
No, I see the tears in youreyes.
Yeah, no, his faculty isprobably probably fits him
better.
You know, yeah, yeah, it's forthe best, it's for the best.
He has an OK faculty.
Why don't you check in?
Come on, man, tell us, tell us,tell us the news, man, tell,
(08:06):
tell us the news.
Man, tell us the news, the news.
What is it?
The Rush Fury?
Yeah, we got the call today.
Man, got the call.
We got the call today, man,yeah, man, we do this thing
called practice after practice.
(08:26):
Know, so, like after after, wepractice with the team me and
carol kind of stays out a littlelater, and we do, you know,
like man, touching drills,passing drills.
You know, we do a little bit offitness, we do, just like all
around game stuff, you know, andman has been, has been, paying
off, yeah, you know, and so itpays off.
So much to where, like, heplays in a recreational league
(08:46):
and um, and you know, uh, therecreational league kind of has
like, a bunch of players who,you know, this is their first
time playing soccer.
You know, no shade, it's justthat's what the league is for.
This is exactly what the leagueis for, you know.
And uh, cairo is just likeoutgrowing the league, you know,
in a sense of like it happens.
You know, it's not about havingfun for him, it's not about
(09:07):
learning for him, it's about,like you know, competition and
winning, and having a kid likethat on a rec team can sometimes
make it unfun for the otherkids.
That's what's happening rightnow.
That's what's happening, youknow, because he's like yelling
at other kids.
You know he's like yelling atother kids.
(09:31):
You know he's like angry afterthe games.
You know he's like crying andlike he wants to like stay on
the field and practice after thegame.
You know he, like, you knowit's just getting to a point to
where it's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that, uh, yeah, that
it's, it's getting out of hand,you know.
So what happened?
Yeah, man, well, no, we just,we just got a call from from one
of the directors, you know it.
It was like, you know, hey, uh,we know we're looking for good
players for the youthdevelopment program, you know.
And uh, he was like, if, if youknow, if your kid's interested,
(09:54):
you know, we'd love to have himtry out.
You know, um, and he was like,if he's anything like you and
your brother, uh, you know, know, then I'm pretty sure he'd be a
good fit, you know.
So the youth development programis like, uh, it's like the
competitive version, it's liketravel ball, essentially, you
know, for soccer.
You know.
So the trial is november 16th,you know.
(10:16):
And tryouts, man, when was thelast time you tried out first?
Well, they don't really makelike cuts or anything at like
the?
U, because carol's seven rightnow, but he plays at the U9
level.
So they don't really make cutsat that age, not until around
U11, u12.
But essentially it's like, hey,we're going to place you on a
(10:42):
team if you're good enough toplay at this level.
So, yeah, man, yeah, yeah, wehad the call and so we got a
month to train.
We went out and played today anddoes he know?
Did you tell him?
Yeah, I told him, yeah, whatdid he say?
Yeah, he was a little nervous,you know, uh, because the way I
coached it was like, hey, if youdon't make this team, I'm going
to disown you.
Yeah, so there may be a, theremay be a little bit of jitters.
(11:03):
You know, yeah, because the wayI coached it was like hey, if
you don't make this team, I'mgonna disown you.
Yeah, so there may be a, theremay be a little bit of jitters,
you know, yeah, but the pressure, the, the pressure makes
diamonds, you know.
You know what he really said,though, what he said.
So we went out there and I waslike, uh, I was like, hey, you
may feel a little pressure.
This is what he said, verbatimha, that's funny, because I
(11:24):
don't feel any pressure.
That's what he said.
No, I just snickered, you know,and I was like yes, yes, yes,
(11:46):
yes.
Let the aggression wash overyou.
I feel like the listeners.
I feel like the listeners don'tknow we're joking.
I feel like we gotta tell thelisteners we're joking, cause
they gonna think I ain't joking.
I ain't joking dog, I'm notjoking one single bit, man.
(12:10):
I, I want cairo to go in andlike, be his confident self
backflips, telling kids they'relosers.
I mean bullying, bullyingpeople off the ball, you know.
Like I want his feet to talkfor himself, you know.
But like, yeah, I want it to beone of those things where it's
just like hey, man, if y'allboys want to play here in South
(12:32):
Louisiana and they got anotherAustin on the field, yeah, yeah,
I want their parents to be likethere's another one out here.
I thought they move.
I thought they move.
Why is it?
Why are they?
(12:52):
Yeah, man, yeah, man, yeah,yeah, yeah, I want his picture
to be in the office just likemine is, you know, right next to
daddy-o.
No, man, no, I just, you know,you know I wanted to have fun
and I want him to fall in lovewith the game.
But anyway, winning is fun.
No, genuinely, genuinely.
Like I really love how.
(13:13):
Like you know, like he doesn'tfeel pressure to like, be or do
anything, you know, and he andhe loves training.
You know, one of the thingsthat's like a really important
dog that I do in golf too, islike hey, man, let me know when
you're ready.
Let me know when you're readyto go.
Let me know when you're ready.
Let me know when you're readyto go.
(13:34):
That dog, he told me that wetrained for, let's see, we
dropped robie to dance at fiveo'clock.
We made it to the field forlike five, 25.
And like we got going in aroundfive, 30.
My alarm rang at six, 15.
We did like maybe 15 moreminutes of like drills and stuff
(13:54):
.
And then he was like, okay, I'mready, can we stop to the store
and get a snack?
I was like, dude, let's go,let's go.
Like I'm not arguing, I'm notlike, come on, 15, 20 more
minutes, come on, let's go, comeon, you know like, nah, man,
like let's go, like you did, youdid.
Well, you know, you did thesame thing.
I mean same thing.
Like we talked about this.
Like when we play golf, you know, like when I take the kids to
play golf, but I get it, I getit candy.
(14:17):
You sit in the golf course two,three, four holes, two holes, 4
, 5, 6 holes.
My kids can get through 9 justbecause we've been doing it for
a while.
But sometimes they do only 4,sometimes they do 6, sometimes
they want to hit balls and theydon't eat any snacks.
We don't watch any tablets outthere.
(14:40):
Sometimes they don't run thecart cart, sometimes they just
want to run.
You know, yeah, but we get,they get tired.
After four holes they want togo home.
All right, let's go.
Yeah, yeah, like carol, come on, stop into the clubhouse, say
hey to people, go get yourself agatorade if you want one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, yeah,this on the, on the, and then so
(15:01):
, and on the golf, the golfcourse, just like on the soccer
field.
When we're out there playing,it's like, dude, ask me anything
, you want to ask me.
So we talk about life, we talkabout the universe, we talk
about God, we talk about girls.
He was doing backflips todayand they had girls looking at
him, you know, and just like,about that stuff, you know.
(15:22):
We talk about, you know,cleaning your room.
We talk about whatever,whatever, you know, whatever he
wants to talk about, you know.
So, yeah, it's not just about,like you know, training and
running and kicking, and it'sreally, like, you know, valuing
the time that we spend together.
Yeah, you don't care how hedoes the drill, you don don't
care.
No, I don't care.
I mean, there's sometimes,sometimes, sometimes it's like,
(15:45):
you know, like sometimes it's alittle sloppy, you know so, and
I'm only on him because I knowhe's better than that.
You know, like he was, he senta sloppy pass and he goes Daddy,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I waslike dude need some water or
something.
He's like, yeah, I'm just tired.
I was like, okay, go get somewater and like regroup dude,
like it's fine, I'll go and I'llchange the drill up and we'll
(16:06):
do another drill.
You know it was just a sloppypass.
You know, yeah, see, my kids areat the age, like he is, at the
age where I could tell him, youknow, because he doesn't, oh, he
doesn't, he doesn't get it.
Yet he doesn't get it.
I mean, he gets it but hedoesn't get it, you know.
And so what I tell him is like,hey, man, you having fun.
And he's like, yeah, I'm havingso much fun.
(16:27):
I'm like, hey, when you'reready, I got some secrets that I
think will help you play better.
Oh's how we.
And then they do well.
And it's like, oh, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
(16:48):
That's not that's how Iintroduce it to Cairo too, like
I got some secrets, man, if you,yeah, you know, he's like
really at this field, has everheard of.
There's no other coaches.
I was trained by Kirk Talley.
I got them.
I got them Whoppers themastermind himself.
(17:15):
Not only was that a collegiateathlete, a professional athlete,
that's also got a coachinglicense.
Dad's also did a dissertationon collegiate athletics.
Yeah, dad's, not some old,regular old, let's get out here
and play boys.
Nah, son, yeah, man.
(17:36):
And another thing is that withRoby, like so just a real quick
check-in, man, she's been doingthis thing where she starts to
cry, you know, to go to dance.
Like she starts to cry whenshe's at dance, you know, like
she's like I don't want to go todance, I don't want to go to
dance, even though she loves it,you know.
So megan's megan's been doingthis thing with her and, like me
(17:56):
, I usually drop her off todance.
But we've been doing this thingwhere it's like you know you're
strong, you're brave and youcan do anything.
You know just like, yeah, thoselike affirmations to her man
and like I can tell she's likesuper nervous.
You know, man, she think, shethink I can.
I saw her today mouthing thoseaffirmations to herself, you
know, as she was like walkinginto dance.
(18:17):
But man, it's just like, yeah,it's just cool to see him kind
of like blossom and be confident.
You know, yeah, bro, yeah, man,it was nice to see him
yesterday, man, yesterday, oh,yeah, yeah, brennan, yeah, them
babies were there.
No, it was Tuesday.
Oh, wow, it was Tuesday, yeah,but them babies were there,
boo-hooed.
If they didn't see you beforeyou got on the plane, bro, boo
(18:39):
boo.
See, I guess we should probablywelcome the new listeners.
Huh, hey, man, welcome the newlisteners.
Yeah, yeah.
So we did a thing, man, tuesdayTuesday morning.
Tuesday morning we went to LakeCharles.
Let's just jump, let's just jumpright into the topic.
Man, that wasn't going to be.
(19:00):
My topic was to be like the LCAexperience.
I have another topic.
Yeah, that's cool.
What topic do you want to talkabout?
Oh, marriage and family class.
Oh, marriage and family therapyclass, class, yeah, okay, well,
let's briefly touch on LCA andthen transition to the class man
, yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you,yeah, so, uh, yeah, so, uh,
(20:18):
jesus and I got invited to do a,a keynote speech, uh, by vicky,
um, the lca president, right,current president, she's rolling
off, yeah, um, but yeah, man, akeynote speech, um, for two
hours, right, two hours, yeah, Imean like hour and a half, hour
and a half, yeah, somewhere, um, but uh, yeah, lake charles,
louisiana, for the louisianacounseling association, louing
(20:40):
Association.
And boy, they paid us money inhand after that.
The second we got off the stage, vicky slipped us a little
check, put it in our pocket.
What kind of Louisiana stuff isthis, with a hot check just in
my pocket?
Come on, man, it was nicethough.
(21:02):
It was nice to get get it.
But yeah, man, it was fun, dog,it was fun.
You know, like we, the way we,the way we do keynote speeches,
you know it's kind of like thisman, like me and you talking to
each other and then the crowdgets to be a part of the
conversation.
You know, like we have astructure and we want it to be
practical.
You know what I mean.
(21:23):
But more than anything, we wantto keep the audience engaged.
And yeah, it felt like we didthat.
Man, people were engaged.
People stayed in there laughingman, some people talked about
crying in there, dog, like, yeah, man, touch people's hearts,
man, yeah, more than anything,it felt like people just had a
good time.
Yeah, yeah, it felt like peoplejust had a good time.
Yeah, yeah, man, people justhad a good time.
(21:44):
There were so many people thatcame up to me and said, like,
man, this is the best keynotethat they've ever been a part of
.
Yeah, man, it says a lot, man,because you know, like man, we
really put some energy andeffort into this, for sure.
You know, like, sure, yeah, man, yeah, we really put some
energy and effort into this.
You know like, uh, sure, yeah,man, yeah, we really put some
(22:05):
energy and effort into it.
So, uh, yeah, it's humbling,like it's.
It's, it's genuinely humbling.
Yeah, man, you know, but it wasalso, it was also dope man to
see, to see a faculty.
Try to get me to work over there, man, try to wow, yeah, man,
yeah, it's probably about the,probably about the third or
fourth time.
I don't know if I told you, man, but they said that they would
fire you if I would go there.
It's getting a little hurtfulnow.
(22:27):
Yeah, I don't know, but youknow what dog?
It's getting a little hurtful,my bad dog, because your rank is
assistant professor.
Wow, mine is associate, so itwouldn't have worked anyway.
That's what I.
Mine is an associate, so itwouldn't have worked anyway.
Well, we got an associateprofessor position open right
now.
Yeah, yeah, I had to pass, Ijust couldn't.
(22:49):
Yeah, that's fine.
The load to carry you would beso heavy with the proximity the
closer I am to you, the heavierthe load.
Yeah, yes, it's how it is theload.
Yeah, yes, it's how it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know howyou are.
Yeah, but you know, honestly,man, if they would have said
(23:11):
they would have knocked down thewall and gave us a joint office
, I would have did it.
I don't want a joint office, man.
Come on, man, come on, bro.
What if you get like a big?
What if you get like asectional?
You know why.
The main reason why I don'twant to join office is because
you don't know how to close yourmouth when you eat.
That's why.
That's why you be up in theresmacking, like you be up in
(23:39):
there smacking.
That's why.
That's why you don't want me towork with you, bro.
Yeah, you can't keep your mouthclosed.
Yeah, you get all your nose,get all stuffy, you start
blowing your nose.
I cannot tell you the amount oflozenges and nasal spray and
Kleenex that we went through ina 24-hour period while this man
(24:01):
was in Louisiana was ridiculous,ridiculous.
We could have made a papermache LCA sign.
That's what the LCA was madeout of.
Ridiculous man.
My God, you know I have sinusissues, man, you know it's a
documented thing.
(24:21):
I got them right, man, you know, you know it's a documented.
It's a documented thing, I gotthem right now.
See, seriously, though, likethis is one of the first
conferences that I've ever beena part of where I felt like, uh,
it was a home game, bro.
That's what I was telling.
My fact, I felt like it was ahome game.
That's what I said.
It was a home game.
That's what I said, man.
I was like look.
I was like, look, g is likehe's in a good spot.
(24:43):
I've never seen him.
This chuffed Ball was chuffed.
Look at my students.
I was like look at my students.
Man, let me introduce you to mylittle students, g.
They're all here.
Did you see the smile on myface at the poster presentation?
Hey Jude, this is one of ourstar pupils, this is Sabrina and
(25:10):
this is Regina and this isGabby and this is, oh, man bro.
Nah, man, yeah, it felt like ahome game bro.
(25:46):
It wasn't just the faculty andstudents from UL, it was also
the alumni from UL too.
Man, I don't know, man, it justfelt like a warm welcoming, so
many people.
It's like I'm so glad that wehave you here on faculty, like
I'm, you know, and not just that, it was private practitioners
who graduated from ul and, likeyou know, you saw how many
private practitioners that wasat lca, man, like real, real
people doing the real work inthe community, something that we
don't, we don't really get atlike a aca.
You know, like I'm pretty surethat they're at aca.
Yeah, they're there at ACA.
Well, yeah, they're there, butACA is different.
Aca, yeah, aca feels a littledifferent.
Lca is like real hometowncooking.
(26:08):
All of those state conferences,man, like North Dakota State we
did the keynote speech there.
Louisiana, we did the keynotespeech there.
You know, man, we could travelaround the country doing keynote
speeches for these guys.
Seriously, man, man, that'd befun, it's great, isn't that bad?
Yeah, for the man, that wouldbe, that would be dope for the
state conferences.
Just kind of go around thecountry and like, do some of
(26:29):
these keynotes, man, yeah, man,hey, but can I, can I take, can
I, can I say something realquick, man?
Um, and it's a pet peeve ofmine, dog, and you trigger me,
you trigger me, man, I triggeryou, you trigger me.
You trigger me, man, I triggeryou, you trigger me.
Yeah, okay, what I do, boy, yousuck at introducing people to
me.
Boy, you suck at it.
(26:51):
I don't know what it is, I don'tknow what it is, jesus, but
there's something inside of youthat I feel like you.
Just.
This is my brother in Jude,that is Austin.
He has been looking forward tomeeting with you.
He has brown eyes, he likes hotham sandwiches.
(27:15):
Don't be irrelevant, don't takethat communication style.
No, man, what you want me to do, this is what I want you to do.
I want you to be like hey manstyle.
Nah, man, what you want me todo, this is what I want you to
do.
I want you to be like hey man,hey, hey man, hey, hey man, so
cool to see you here.
Hey, listen, hey man, that's mybrother.
Hey, you know what this is, so,and so you know what this is
(27:36):
what a faculty said to me.
I figured it was like you know,like I feel like I, like I know
your brother, but that's whatI'm saying, dog.
It felt like people knew me butdidn't know how to talk to me,
and I felt like I felt like theyknew you and for the first time
in my life, first time in mylife, somebody knew you who
(27:59):
didn't know me.
Yeah, and you know that's weirddog, because ain't no
particular.
You know that.
Come on juice.
You know I'm everybody'sfavorite, but I stay in hiding.
I stay in hiding.
Yeah, I, I was telling myfaculty that, like, when I came
home from that conference, dog Itook like a 17 hour nap baby
(28:19):
was like I can't dog, I can'tdog dog my battery.
Hey, remember when that?
This is.
This is the difference betweenthe two of us.
But, like we walked in theconference.
What I'm looking for is a darkhole to envelop myself into.
I'm trying to find the corner,the nearest corner of the
(28:42):
furthest stage, away fromeverybody, and I'm trying to
slink into this corner Eventhough, even though you're the
keynote speaker, even though I'mthe keynote speaker, give me
the hell out of this space withall these people that's saying
thank you so much for everythingyou do for the field.
Leave me alone, man.
I don't.
(29:04):
I don't need your appreciation,I don't't want it.
I'm starting to sweat, my bootyis sweating, my lower back is
tight, my hamstrings are tight.
Nah, man, nah.
But you, you're like, ah, let'swalk around and get some water
and talk to people.
(29:25):
And I'm sitting there like getme behind the closest locked
door.
I only want it locked from theinside, I don't want anyone to
have access to it.
Let me hurry up and eat thiskey, bruh, bruh.
(29:46):
And the meet and greetsafterwards.
Know, man, like it's man, it'sso tough for me, man, it's so
tough, I know it is, I don't, Idon't watching you in the corner
of my eye, like I don't likethe attention, I don't like
people like then, you know, likethe appreciation and the.
(30:06):
You know, like I can I take apicture with you.
It's cool, man, it's cool, Iget it.
I understand that, like, at thispoint in our careers, we're
like known people and like it'shard for us to go to conferences
and, like you know, it'simpossible and not and not not.
And I know, like you know,jerry and Yalom and Bob Wobeding
and all these people have likekind of coached us into like you
(30:30):
know what it's going to be like.
You remember ACA 2016 and theywere like you know, this is you
guys is coming out party andthere's so many of like the
older, the older.
Yeah, that was dope.
Yeah, man, they kind of likebrought us in and was like, hey,
this is how you guys handle,this is how you guys handle,
(30:50):
yeah, this is how you handlethis type of connection with
people.
You can't just not go to thesethings because people really
want to see People will bedisappointed.
If you don't go, people will bedisappointed and, like you know
, I didn't believe it.
But you remember that I did notbelieve it, you know, until we
went to Canada and people werelike I flew from, like, nova
(31:13):
Scotia just to get my booksigned.
Or I flew from Taiwan, yeah,from Taiwan.
You know, like, yeah, that kindof stuff makes you and like 12
of my students, but that's why.
That's why Because, like, I'mintroverted too, you know what I
mean.
Yeah, but you love it though.
(31:35):
Yeah, you love to be on thepedestal.
Yeah, yeah, you love it.
Look at his face y'all Look athis face.
He can't hide the grin.
Oh, he loves it.
He likes to bathe in it.
If he can bottle it, he wouldtake a shot.
Every day he gets drunk off ofit.
Look at him.
(31:55):
It's like a little hit for him.
That's why he was the main onesaying, oh, I would love to go
to every single state conference.
How can I soak up more of this?
This is the only way I'm goingto.
This is how I stay young.
His dreadlocks are starting toglow.
(32:19):
Look at him.
His locks are starting to glow.
That's where he harnesses allthe power he does.
Yeah, I'm an introvert too.
Yeah, I'm an introvert too.
Yeah, I'm an introvert.
You bust down the door talkingabout love me, acknowledge me,
laugh.
Meanwhile I'm skedaddling inthe shadows.
(32:51):
I really love you, I reallylove your book.
Oh, get going, get back.
Nah man, nah man.
I just feel like I'mintroverted too, man, but I
(33:14):
don't get and you get exhausted,you get exhausted.
I don't get tired by it, but Idon't get charged up by it.
You know what I mean.
As opposed to Angela likeAngela, angela would be buzzing,
friend of the cast.
As opposed to Angela LikeAngela, angela would be buzzing.
Angela Weingarten, friend ofthe cast.
Angela would be vibrating, andnot because of any insecurity.
(33:39):
Angela's one of the most securepeople I know.
She's always been like this man, but the social butterfly in
her, yeah, man, she, jerry,jerry, jerry loves it.
Jerry Cole will fly across thecountry just for that hit.
(34:01):
You know he loves it.
Man, he's social, you know,he's just social.
But you know what I think it is, dog, dog is.
I know and we talked about thisbefore, man, we talked about
this before I know that thereare people who look forward to
seeing us and have a differentrelationship to us than we have
(34:23):
to ourselves.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Like they have a differentrelationship to the things that
we say you know, then we have,then we have to the things that
we say you know.
Yeah, I mean there's times, dog, in that conference, there's
times that, like you know where,like you know the crowd popped
at areas.
Yeah, like I wasn't expectingyou know what I mean.
(34:43):
I'm not saying it to be likebecause none of that stuff is
rehearsed for us.
Like we have like notes, likebrief, yeah, like plot points of
kind of what we might want totalk about, but we don't have
like defined.
You know there's no power point, there's no, you know there's
(35:05):
none of that stuff.
There's like barely handwrittennotes of our direction that we
may want to go in.
Yeah, but, but, but I do so.
So that's why, that's why, whenI'm there, I'm like look man,
we only here for a couple ofhours, I'm going to go walk
around, drink some water, sayhey to people if they want to.
You know, and I know, and Iknow cause.
(35:25):
You see him, dog, you see him.
And I know because you see them, dog, you see them.
Remember that there were somany people that came up to us
when there wasn't a crowd aroundus, because they're introverted
, yeah, and so I know thatthere's people at the conference
who want to say something butdon't want to be around a big
crowd, and it does feel likethere's a crowd around us all
the time.
(35:45):
You know what I mean, yeah, andso I try to walk around and be
isolated so somebody could comeup and be like, hey, yeah, you
know, just like you know whatthat girl said, or what that guy
said, dave, you know, I forgetwhere he was from, who, uh, who
wanted the shout out?
Remember, we told him he was soexcited.
Yeah, he was like really, youdo that.
(36:05):
Yeah, man, david, if you'relistening, man, this is your
shout out.
We saw you at the golden nuggetin lake charles.
Yeah, you know, you came up andtalked to us for a little bit,
you know, but he did like hecame up when the crowd was low.
You know what I mean when youknow, and so, um, and so that's,
that's, that's why I do it.
But but I can feel you, I canremember when we remember, when
(36:27):
we were in florida, dog, yeah,that first time it felt like
overwhelming.
Yeah, you know, yeah, peoplewere videoing us with yeah, just
videoing us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, andthat person put their phone in
your face.
I think they were doing likeface, face, they were doing like
a face, or I think they weredoing like face, face, facebook
(36:49):
live or something, or they weredoing FaceTime or FaceTime and a
friend or something.
Yeah, boy, you snatched thatphone and chucked that thing.
So far, bro, I was like, oh,it's time to go man messing up
people's property.
But the way she jammed thephone in your face, I was like
Whoa property.
But the way she jammed thephone in your face, I was like
(37:09):
yeah, whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah,that was.
That was one of the times whereI was like, oh man, oh, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, like back up,like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's why we started to record.
That's why we were like, hey,we need like a table with like
uh, with like rope with like, uh, you know, preferably with the
back to our wall, with the, yeah, with the wall on our back, you
(37:33):
know, because, because peoplewill come behind and I don't
like, I'm not scared or anything, you know, yeah, it's just,
it's hard, it's right, pleaselike, but it's um, it's uh, you,
you miss people when they come.
Yeah, you know, like, rememberwhen the ac, when the ceo of ac8
wanted to talk to us and he wasstanding behind us and we
couldn't see we were, you know.
(37:53):
So it's like stuff like that,that's like yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, I mean it was fun, it wasa good conference man, great
people, it was such a goodconference man, like, I mean my
students showed out.
Man, like, there's so manyawards for like ul students for,
for, uh, for the, for theposter presentation, man, for uh
(38:16):
, there's uh some some studentsfrom uh, some students that did
a poster presentation that'sgraduating.
Uh, gabby sonye uh got uh likepersonally asked to transition
or post a presentation into likean educational session, you
know, for the next uh, for thenext conference, you know.
So, just like, you know, just,man, I think when you're a
(38:37):
master's student, you feel likeyou can't be a part of the state
or national conferences.
You know, and I think ourfaculty here at UL does a really
good job of like, um,supporting, right, all right,
I'm just saying, man, we do areally good job of supporting
students and you work with you.
(38:58):
Well, I'm just saying, you know, and I go cages anyway.
Uh, yeah, man, I was, it was a,it was a great conference.
Man, I love those statements,those statements, bro, I love
the state conferences, man, yeah, so if there's anybody out
there that's listening thatwants to hire us for a keynote,
just shoot us an email, reachout to us.
(39:20):
We'd love to jump into one man.
So, anyway, anything else fromthe conference.
Well, I was just thinking, man,I don't know, we probably
running out of time to talkabout the marriage and family
stuff.
Maybe we'll do it in the nextcast, maybe we're doing it again
a couple more minutes, man, youthink so, yeah, yeah, I mean, I
don't think my, my kids are,are, uh, and I just got there
(39:44):
about to wake up, but I just gotother, I just got other work to
do, you know, yeah, you know,some of us, some of us, you know
, yeah, well, just touch on it alittle bit, bro, just give it a
little, a little slap andtickle, man.
Just, I don't even know what Ireally want to say, man, other
than like amen, fix your face.
If you're a student, fix yourface.
(40:05):
Nah, I can see you, I can seeyou.
And when you look disgruntled,you look like you're
uninterested, you look like youdon't want to be there, and then
I don't hear your voice and youtry to transition from like a
student to to like a, apotential graduate, and you look
at me like remember me, and I'mlike I don't remember you
because you didn't say two wordsin class.
(40:25):
I don't even know who you are.
Yeah, yeah, that's not what youwere trying to say.
No, no, I mean, you know.
I mean, you know it related.
But we did have a student whoyou know I met with, and it's
one of those students, man,that's like, uh, you know, they
got stuff going Makes them notfeel like they can be a part of
(40:48):
the community, you know.
But you know that, man, theywould be a cornerstone, a pillar
in the counseling program ifonly.
But they had the courage, youknow, yeah, after the
conversation, the student didshow the courage and got
involved and it was like itchanged the dynamic.
(41:10):
It changed the dynamic.
It changed the dynamic.
Man, yeah, change the dynamic,but no, I guess what I really
want to say is like, hey, man,marriage and family is hard bro,
hard, hard.
It's complicated man.
Uh, yeah, and I think I mayhave messed up a little bit in
(41:33):
maybe not providing the fullinformed consent that maybe I
should have, you mean, to aclient or to a student, to a
student.
Long story short, I taughttheories and then there we
covered the systems class.
Man Right, systems theories,systems theory, yeah, and just
general systems theory, not any.
You know one specific one, butuh, yeah it it impacted people,
(41:58):
you know, because it's funny,because I can see all of them.
They can't see each other often, you know, because they're just
sitting around, you know.
But there was, there was a lotof, there was a lot of emotional
reactions and I felt like Icovered the surface of it, you
know.
You know the emotionalreactions to what?
To?
To just like talking aboutdifferent patterns and processes
(42:18):
and family dynamics and okay,and dysfunction, you know,
within systems and I and I and Ithink I went into it a little
naive or are not giving it thefull respect that I maybe should
have that.
You could thrust somebody intoawareness by just talking and
(42:43):
doing the lecture, and I knowother council educators have
experienced that too.
Council educators probablyother council educators have
experienced that too.
You know, like you're teachinga particularly tough subject and
then, yeah, you realize it'shaving more of an emotional
impact on the students.
Oh yeah, and oh yeah, this wassometimes.
Sometimes your share is like Ishared a story about a previous
client, right, and the story waslike really harsh, yeah, yeah,
(43:06):
you know, and like yeah, and youknow it had some really like
trigger warning stuff involvedin it.
But to me it was just like aregular client case that
happened 10 years ago, that youdon't think about it.
It fit for what we were talkingabout in lifespan, you know.
And so like I, you know, I'mjust kind of like sharing it and
afterwards there's this likedead space and I'm like whoa,
(43:28):
was that like?
What was that like for y'all tohear?
Yeah, you know, and thestudents are you're not gonna
tell the students likeprocessing their own stuff, you
know, and like that look of likewhat did I get myself into?
Like what kind of field is this?
Yeah, I don't want to.
I don't want to hear about that, yeah, but I was like you
thought I wanted to hear aboutthat.
No, it's just something thathappens to us, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(43:51):
you, just, you just hear aboutthat on a tuesday, yeah, you
know.
Yeah, man, I don't know.
I mean, there's not really muchto talk about, there's not much
to say, just just, just, likethat was, that was part of that
experience, man and and, uh, youknow, I guess, if there's a
list not there, who, who youknow, who maybe have you know,
(44:13):
gone through things, especiallyif you haven't been to therapy,
you know, and then you're goingto go to a program like us, you
know, like you know, like myprogram, university of Maryland,
baylor, the kind of programthat we, you don't have that
depth, that deep growth.
You know what I mean.
Some would even say that we'rea crucible.
(44:36):
You know we hold and fortifyand change and strengthen and
sharpen.
You know, test and make, remake, mold, shape.
You know.
Yeah, anything else you gotanything else.
(44:58):
You know.
I was wondering if you had timeto add some more to it.
No, I think that's it.
I think you get the picture.
Okay, yeah, I think you get thepicture.
Okay.
Yeah, I think you get thepicture.
Yeah, speaking of pictures,we're like a frame.
You know we sit there and no,but if you go, if you go to a
program with some depth in it,you know like, hey, man, you
(45:22):
know, like you cannot escape it.
You know, yeah, and all I wantto do is check in with all of
the students, you know, but Iwon't because, because I,
because I know they got that dogin them.
Yeah, I know, I know, I knowthey do, I know they do.
But it's one of those thingswhere, uh, where you are
(45:44):
teaching, and while you'reteaching, you're looking at the
students and the students arelike they're listening to what
you're saying, but they're alsolike applying it to their own
process, their own life.
You know, and they'reprocessing it because, like,
they're trying to make sense ofit.
So the only way to make senseof it is to it's still through
(46:05):
their own filter, through theirown experience.
Yeah, so, so, because of that,they have their own new
awarenesses, you know, and, likeyou can, you can see that in
real time in, yeah, but you know.
So sometimes I'll ask a studentlike, whoa, what was that
facial expression about?
Or like, what was that about.
It seems like you were thinkingabout something or whatever you
know, and it'll take it on acompletely different tangent
(46:26):
sometimes, you know, that makesme think.
I guess what I really want tosay is you're not alone, you
know, like you're not alone,well, I mean existentially you
are, and you will die alone andthe world will keep spinning and
you will eventually beforgotten.
But yeah, you're not alone inclass.
(46:48):
Yeah, I mean alone in class.
Yeah, I mean yeah, but yeah no.
But I mean, yep, theoreticallysure, but no, it's not, not
theoretically, it's pretty, it'sa surefire thing.
You will be forgotten.
All of the things you careabout will also be forgotten.
(47:10):
I guess what I really want tosay is that, like, other people
felt those feelings too.
You know, like that's that'swhat I mean.
You know that, like it's, ifyou, if you leave, if you leave
those classes, and you feel like, well, I'm weird.
Nah, you just couldn't see theother person crying.
(47:31):
You didn't see the person getup and go to the bathroom and
cry.
You know, one of the one of thebest thing, one of the my most
favorite things that happens inclass is when, when you get
students, feel, wow, okay, letme start that over again.
One of my favorite things inclass that happens is when
students feel comfortable enoughto start sharing personally
(47:54):
some of their experiences andhow that relates, because, man,
it's such a teachable momentit's always a teachable moment.
It's such a teachable.
It's so frustrating whenstudents are like, oh, I'm
feeling something but I'm notgoing to share it because I
don't think it's going to applyto the class.
Yeah, you know.
Or like I don't, I don't want,I don't want, my, I don't want
(48:16):
these students at this cohort toknow me in that way.
You know, I guess that's theirright, you know, but like it's,
it's such a frustrating part oflike students Just the
developmental process, yeah,frustrating part of like
students Just the developmentalprocess.
Yeah, yeah, it's such afrustrating part of that, you
know.
And like they, just you know,they leave the rest of their
classmates with this like, likewanting, yeah, with this
(48:39):
emptiness, oh, like you couldhave shared something that could
have been enriching for thewhole class, but like you're not
going to share anything, youknow, because you just don't
feel like you want to share.
Come on, what are you doing inthis program?
Why are you here?
Anyway, man, that's all Iwanted to say hey, listen man,
(49:02):
listen, listen, hey bro.
Hey, man, we got to get someguests on.
I got like five people who wantto come on, man, like five
people who want to come on, man,five people want to come on.
Uh, I got some supervisees, Igot some some friends.
I got some colleagues.
I got you know, I know, uh, youdon't have anybody because
you're not close to anybody.
Really, actually, actually, Igot some.
(49:24):
I got, I think I want tointroduce some of my faculty
members on there.
There's one faculty member thatI would love to have on.
When is it going to stop?
But I know that if Booj comeson, bro, if Booj comes on here,
there will be nothing.
That's going to get done.
There's nothing.
There is no.
We only got room for two coolyawns.
(49:46):
It's just going to be straightbuffoonery on the microphone.
Yeah, it's not.
Yeah, this is going to get done, man.
So I don't know, I don't know.
But yeah, bro, I'd love to havesome more guests on man.
Yeah, line them up, bro, andmaybe, hopefully, if you can
find some regularity in yourschedule, then you know, maybe
we can invite people on andstart putting out this cast
(50:08):
consistently, hey, man, becauseyou don't see the numbers and I
do.
There's been a massive influxof listeners.
I think people are actuallylistening to this.
Nice, yeah, yeah.
So we can't go two weeks, youknow, without putting a cast out
man.
You think I like this.
(50:33):
You think this is what I wantfor myself?
I think so.
You think I'm choosing this.
I think you love having theinterim associate dean tagline
on your email because you lovethe power that it gives you.
Yeah, you love it.
You love it.
Again.
If they would have told you youcan be the interim associate
dean but you can't tell anyone,you'd have been like oh no, I
(50:54):
can't take that position.
I can't do that.
I need to get out in thecommunity and let people know
I'm associate dean.
Yeah, I couldn't wait to put iton a mug.
I need new business cards.
What's that?
I just I mug.
I need new business cards.
I just IAD.
I need new business cards rightnow and I love the interim
because it makes it longer.
(51:15):
So people will think that it'slike better.
Yeah, yeah, you love it.
You love it.
You love an indented line orlike a second line Separation.
Yeah, hyphen, uh-huh.
Yeah, it's like the boy tookthe NCE and the CPCE and he put
all the acronyms on his tagline,all of them.
The CPC didn't do nothing forhis career.
(51:38):
It did Not a single thing forhis career.
Remember when we were trying towrite that book for Springer?
Yeah, remember when we weretrying to write that book for
Springer and testing, remember,yeah, yeah, somebody, somebody
has to take the CPC.
You took, you took the test towrite the book and you still put
the acronyms on your tag.
So we can get the.
So, so we can get the, so wecan get the notoriety for the
(52:01):
book.
Yeah, see, that's what it's allabout.
You see, you heard it here.
First, the notoriety, that'sall he's after.
That's all he's after, ladiesand gentlemen.
Yep, that's it.
I'm too tired, I'm too tired tofight, I'm too tired to fight
anymore, jarius, I can't fightit anymore.
Well, just let it happen.
Yeah, let it happen, man.
Anyway, what's some checkoutstuff for you?
(52:23):
But real quick, be brief,because I'm tired and I want to
go eat the kids' snacks whilethey're sleeping.
Go camping this weekend, that'sit.
Take the kids camping, man, goto the park camping, some kind
of city thing.
It should be fun.
It's food.
Hey, how many mosquito bites doyou think you're going to come
(52:44):
out with?
It's going to be bad.
Okay, for real, I got all kindsof stuff Thermosel, deep Fog,
I'm about to.
Yeah, I heard, if you rubyourself in bacon grease it
keeps the mosquitoes away, butyou may have to fight coyotes
(53:06):
all night.
The mosquitoes just slide onoff.
You know, we got that sweetblood.
If you put baking grease allover yourself, the mosquito's
cholesterol will be so high themosquito's going to be like I
(53:29):
don't even know how it works.
I don't even think that's howcholesterol works.
Blood's going to be so viscous,some thick blood.
Why is his blood yellow?
He's got a smokiness.
(53:50):
A smokiness to his blood.
What is that?
Must taste hints of apple.
What is this?
Why does his blood taste likerub?
What is this?
He got a marinated one y'all.
He's just stupid, bro.
Let's end this cast before weboth get fired.
(54:12):
Dog, let me check out.
Man.
I got nothing.
Man, it's getting a little coolhere.
Man, we got a movie nighttomorrow, some hot cocoa.
We're doing some paintedpumpkins.
You know, I'm looking forwardto trick-or-treating man.
Our neighborhood goes forwardto trick-or-treating man.
Our neighborhood goes hard fortrick-or-treating man.
Yeah, man, looking forward toit.
(54:35):
Anyway, this has been the TwinTherapist Podcast.
Welcome to the new listeners.
If you're new to this cast,we're going to try to be a
little bit more consistent.
If you're old, you know we'relying.
We're going to try to be alittle bit more consistent.
If you're old, you know we'relying.
We ain't about to make us think.
You did say try, hey, but let'slet the new listeners think
(55:01):
when you get it, you get it.
You know, when you're upsetabout it, you make a podcast.
Man, you make a podcast, youupset about it, you make a
podcast, you make a podcast.
We trying our best over here.
Man, hey, man, yeah, come on,man, yeah, come on, man.
Look, from month to month wechange from weekly to bi-weekly,
(55:24):
to tri-weekly, to tri-left totri-farter.
I like that.
The date now is like oh,november 30th I mean September
30th man, maybe we're in themiddle of October right now.
Man, ooh, we're in the middleof October.
Middle of October, man, yeah,yeah, semester's flying by.
I still have assignments that Ineed to grade from two weeks
(55:46):
ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If we, if, if, if we make itthrough this semester alive, you
know, uh, yeah, man, I justcan't wait for, uh, for cooler
weather, you know, for it to notbe 98 degrees outside, you know
(56:09):
.
Anyway, all right, man, allright.
Well, we'll see y'all next week, maybe, I don't know.
Bye y'all, thank you.
Welcome back to the cast.
It feels like it's been acouple days, but really it's
been like what?
A week and a half since we didthis.
Man, who knows anymore?
Who knows anymore?
Man, who knows?
Yeah, man, yeah, we got alittle check-in.
Then we're going to do a littletopic and then we're going to
do a little check-out.
All of our children are sleepingright now.
(00:33):
Everyone in our houses aresleeping, so at any point a baby
could wake up and ruin thiswhole podcast, yeah, man.
So you know, uh, just bear withus.
You may only get just a coupleof seconds from us tonight.
You know, just a couple ofseconds from this man, that's,
that's, that's all you may getfrom us, you know?
All right, man, let's do somecheck-ins.
(00:55):
Man, what, uh, what was goingon over there?
Do want to share with thepeople?
Man, we quit.
Man, oh, you quit.
Okay, we quit.
Nah, nah, nah, man, this is thelast cast.
Nah, nah, I'm talking aboutsoccer.
Man, I'm talking about soccer.
Yeah, I mean, if the listenerswere listening, a couple weeks
(01:20):
ago you heard that Valen, he wonthe medal, played, played his
little butt off, you know, andthen he just didn't want to do
it anymore.
Man and dog, dog, right, I'mtrying to and you know it was it
was.
I'm trying my best, you know,right, try my best.
(01:40):
I think in the last guys Italked about it, you know, yeah,
but he looked at me, man, andhe was like for real, like,
daddy, I don't want to play, Inever want to play.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't like the crowds, youknow.
And I think back to when wewere singing them happy birthday
, you know, for his thirdbirthday and everybody's there,
all of his friends and lovedones are there.
(02:01):
You know, I think we were therefor that third birthday and I
remember him being like I don'tlike this.
Yeah, it was.
It was like, all right, valent,happy birth.
And then he quieted the car.
I remember that, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so he had like 30, 45.
We had the same whisper in theliving room going happy birthday
, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh-huh.
(02:25):
And the thing is is that he'snot shy, you know, like he's not
, he's not scared, he justdoesn't like it, yeah.
So, yeah, we had a tough choice, man, I just hey, look, I said,
look, man, me, and you can, andyou can go.
Are you going to give him awayto a family that needs a more
(02:47):
quiet child or a child that'sless athletic.
Yeah, we gave him away that day.
Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, we lovehim, though, because, as for us
, in this house, in this house,in this house, oh, no, we play.
Yeah, yeah, oh no, we play,yeah, yeah, no man, no, no, I
(03:09):
think he might be a tennisplayer, I think he may be a golf
player.
I think he may be, I think hemay be.
For those who don't know, jude'sa lovely bride.
Yeah, almost had like a dualscholarship in soccer and tennis
.
Yeah, man, in college, that shein college, so she did.
But let's just say, let's justsay with that, let's just say
(03:37):
what the old is doing something,let's just say with the oldest
skin, oh, the circle is closed.
Oh yeah, I'm gonna dog get him,I'm gonna dog it's, I'm gonna
make a name for myself today.
Hey, man, for real, though, forreal, it was, it was, it was
nice man, it was nice, it wasnice man.
(03:59):
Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah, um,that's it, that's it, man,
that's it.
Semester's gone good, um,theories, class wrapping up,
everything's going pretty smooth, man.
Uh, d and D is uh happening.
We moved up to level three.
And so, you know, castingspells went to Bard college.
I'm playing the Bard.
For those of you in the know,you know, yeah, I fought a demon
(04:23):
, baby, I fought a vampire today.
Yeah, wow, dog, it's fun.
Man, yeah, it's fun.
Yeah, I know it's fun.
We were too busy, I don't know,being athletes and going to
parties in high school to betrapped in somebody's basement
playing the loser game.
(04:45):
As far as I'm concerned, that'show bad.
To each his own.
To each his own In the gym.
Listening to in the gym pumpingiron, listening to Brandon
Sanderson yeah, the nerd wasalways in there.
He was in there.
I wish it was something that alot of people I wish it was
(05:05):
something that we would havegotten into earlier.
It seems like a huge wave incounseling of D&D being more a
part of the lexicon.
It was in Times Square.
Man, what is happening overthere?
Wake up, jt, come on, man, it'slate, it's late.
Wake up, jt, come on, man.
The people came here.
(05:28):
No, this is what you wanted.
No, this is what you wanted.
No, what I want is a consistenttime throughout the week that
we can count on, with areassurance that you will be
present for the cast.
But no, I got to get the scrapsof a 10, 30 cent.
What am I, jude?
Some backdoor Jezebel that youonly call at night time?
(05:53):
What is this?
What am I to you?
What are we?
Do I even have anything?
You know what's funny, man?
Do your friends know about me?
So you know we lost a facultyanything.
You know it's funny, man.
Do your friends know about me?
So you know we lost a facultymember.
You know moment of silence.
You know he's a listener.
If all the cast members, if allthe cast listeners can just send
(06:18):
some mental energy ofreconnection to this person, you
know if y'all could lift him upback towards home yeah, you
know if and send a subliminalmessage that if it doesn't work
out at the university that he'scurrently at the university of
louisiana is also looking for anassociate.
(06:39):
Oh, don't do that.
Come on, bro.
Yeah, yeah, we'll treat younice over here, yeah, nah, if
y'all could just all one, comeon, come on, come on down
further south.
Get some of this gumbo andetouffee man.
Hey, hey, come on.
We got Crunella.
Don't do it like that.
Come on to feel it in hisspinal cord.
(07:02):
You know the, the, the tug.
You know the naval tug backhome.
You know, um, yeah, that wouldbe nice, but it's funny because
he, you know he's a part of ittoo, and so you know it's like
he never left.
You know, yeah, but, uh, it'sdefinitely, it's definitely fun.
(07:22):
You know, just, just just justbeing treated like the side
chick.
You know, wow, okay, that's it,and you know whether he wants
to acknowledge it or not.
Yeah, it's how I feel.
You know, wow, wow, so okay,yeah, all right, okay, all right
, it's fine.
It's fine, though.
No, it's fine.
(07:43):
No, I see the tears in youreyes.
Yeah, no, his faculty isprobably probably fits him
better.
You know, yeah, yeah, it's forthe best, it's for the best.
He has an OK faculty.
Why don't you check in?
Come on, man, tell us, tell us,tell us the news, man, tell,
(08:06):
tell us the news.
Man, tell us the news, the news.
What is it?
The Rush Fury?
Yeah, we got the call today.
Man, got the call.
We got the call today, man,yeah, man, we do this thing
called practice after practice.
(08:26):
Know, so, like after after, wepractice with the team me and
carol kind of stays out a littlelater, and we do, you know,
like man, touching drills,passing drills.
You know, we do a little bit offitness, we do, just like all
around game stuff, you know, andman has been, has been, paying
off, yeah, you know, and so itpays off.
So much to where, like, heplays in a recreational league
(08:46):
and um, and you know, uh, therecreational league kind of has
like, a bunch of players who,you know, this is their first
time playing soccer.
You know, no shade, it's justthat's what the league is for.
This is exactly what the leagueis for, you know.
And uh, cairo is just likeoutgrowing the league, you know,
in a sense of like it happens.
You know, it's not about havingfun for him, it's not about
(09:07):
learning for him, it's about,like you know, competition and
winning, and having a kid likethat on a rec team can sometimes
make it unfun for the otherkids.
That's what's happening rightnow.
That's what's happening, youknow, because he's like yelling
at other kids.
You know he's like yelling atother kids.
(09:31):
You know he's like angry afterthe games.
You know he's like crying andlike he wants to like stay on
the field and practice after thegame.
You know he, like, you knowit's just getting to a point to
where it's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that, uh, yeah, that
it's, it's getting out of hand,you know.
So what happened?
Yeah, man, well, no, we just,we just got a call from from one
of the directors, you know it.
It was like, you know, hey, uh,we know we're looking for good
players for the youthdevelopment program, you know.
And uh, he was like, if, if youknow, if your kid's interested,
(09:54):
you know, we'd love to have himtry out.
You know, um, and he was like,if he's anything like you and
your brother, uh, you know, know, then I'm pretty sure he'd be a
good fit, you know.
So the youth development programis like, uh, it's like the
competitive version, it's liketravel ball, essentially, you
know, for soccer.
You know.
So the trial is november 16th,you know.
(10:16):
And tryouts, man, when was thelast time you tried out first?
Well, they don't really makelike cuts or anything at like
the?
U, because carol's seven rightnow, but he plays at the U9
level.
So they don't really make cutsat that age, not until around
U11, u12.
But essentially it's like, hey,we're going to place you on a
(10:42):
team if you're good enough toplay at this level.
So, yeah, man, yeah, yeah, wehad the call and so we got a
month to train.
We went out and played today anddoes he know?
Did you tell him?
Yeah, I told him, yeah, whatdid he say?
Yeah, he was a little nervous,you know, uh, because the way I
coached it was like, hey, if youdon't make this team, I'm going
to disown you.
Yeah, so there may be a, theremay be a little bit of jitters.
(11:03):
You know, yeah, because the wayI coached it was like hey, if
you don't make this team, I'mgonna disown you.
Yeah, so there may be a, theremay be a little bit of jitters,
you know, yeah, but the pressure, the, the pressure makes
diamonds, you know.
You know what he really said,though, what he said.
So we went out there and I waslike, uh, I was like, hey, you
may feel a little pressure.
This is what he said, verbatimha, that's funny, because I
(11:24):
don't feel any pressure.
That's what he said.
No, I just snickered, you know,and I was like yes, yes, yes,
(11:46):
yes.
Let the aggression wash overyou.
I feel like the listeners.
I feel like the listeners don'tknow we're joking.
I feel like we gotta tell thelisteners we're joking, cause
they gonna think I ain't joking.
I ain't joking dog, I'm notjoking one single bit, man.
(12:10):
I, I want cairo to go in andlike, be his confident self
backflips, telling kids they'relosers.
I mean bullying, bullyingpeople off the ball, you know.
Like I want his feet to talkfor himself, you know.
But like, yeah, I want it to beone of those things where it's
just like hey, man, if y'allboys want to play here in South
(12:32):
Louisiana and they got anotherAustin on the field, yeah, yeah,
I want their parents to be likethere's another one out here.
I thought they move.
I thought they move.
Why is it?
Why are they?
(12:52):
Yeah, man, yeah, man, yeah,yeah, yeah, I want his picture
to be in the office just likemine is, you know, right next to
daddy-o.
No, man, no, I just, you know,you know I wanted to have fun
and I want him to fall in lovewith the game.
But anyway, winning is fun.
No, genuinely, genuinely.
Like I really love how.
(13:13):
Like you know, like he doesn'tfeel pressure to like, be or do
anything, you know, and he andhe loves training.
You know, one of the thingsthat's like a really important
dog that I do in golf too, islike hey, man, let me know when
you're ready.
Let me know when you're readyto go.
Let me know when you're ready.
Let me know when you're readyto go.
(13:34):
That dog, he told me that wetrained for, let's see, we
dropped robie to dance at fiveo'clock.
We made it to the field forlike five, 25.
And like we got going in aroundfive, 30.
My alarm rang at six, 15.
We did like maybe 15 moreminutes of like drills and stuff
(13:54):
.
And then he was like, okay, I'mready, can we stop to the store
and get a snack?
I was like, dude, let's go,let's go.
Like I'm not arguing, I'm notlike, come on, 15, 20 more
minutes, come on, let's go, comeon, you know like, nah, man,
like let's go, like you did, youdid.
Well, you know, you did thesame thing.
I mean same thing.
Like we talked about this.
Like when we play golf, you know, like when I take the kids to
play golf, but I get it, I getit candy.
(14:17):
You sit in the golf course two,three, four holes, two holes, 4
, 5, 6 holes.
My kids can get through 9 justbecause we've been doing it for
a while.
But sometimes they do only 4,sometimes they do 6, sometimes
they want to hit balls and theydon't eat any snacks.
We don't watch any tablets outthere.
(14:40):
Sometimes they don't run thecart cart, sometimes they just
want to run.
You know, yeah, but we get,they get tired.
After four holes they want togo home.
All right, let's go.
Yeah, yeah, like carol, come on, stop into the clubhouse, say
hey to people, go get yourself agatorade if you want one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, yeah,this on the, on the, and then so
(15:01):
, and on the golf, the golfcourse, just like on the soccer
field.
When we're out there playing,it's like, dude, ask me anything
, you want to ask me.
So we talk about life, we talkabout the universe, we talk
about God, we talk about girls.
He was doing backflips todayand they had girls looking at
him, you know, and just like,about that stuff, you know.
(15:22):
We talk about, you know,cleaning your room.
We talk about whatever,whatever, you know, whatever he
wants to talk about, you know.
So, yeah, it's not just about,like you know, training and
running and kicking, and it'sreally, like, you know, valuing
the time that we spend together.
Yeah, you don't care how hedoes the drill, you don don't
care.
No, I don't care.
I mean, there's sometimes,sometimes, sometimes it's like,
(15:45):
you know, like sometimes it's alittle sloppy, you know so, and
I'm only on him because I knowhe's better than that.
You know, like he was, he senta sloppy pass and he goes Daddy,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I waslike dude need some water or
something.
He's like, yeah, I'm just tired.
I was like, okay, go get somewater and like regroup dude,
like it's fine, I'll go and I'llchange the drill up and we'll
(16:06):
do another drill.
You know it was just a sloppypass.
You know, yeah, see, my kids areat the age, like he is, at the
age where I could tell him, youknow, because he doesn't, oh, he
doesn't, he doesn't get it.
Yet he doesn't get it.
I mean, he gets it but hedoesn't get it, you know.
And so what I tell him is like,hey, man, you having fun.
And he's like, yeah, I'm havingso much fun.
(16:27):
I'm like, hey, when you'reready, I got some secrets that I
think will help you play better.
Oh's how we.
And then they do well.
And it's like, oh, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
(16:48):
That's not that's how Iintroduce it to Cairo too, like
I got some secrets, man, if you,yeah, you know, he's like
really at this field, has everheard of.
There's no other coaches.
I was trained by Kirk Talley.
I got them.
I got them Whoppers themastermind himself.
(17:15):
Not only was that a collegiateathlete, a professional athlete,
that's also got a coachinglicense.
Dad's also did a dissertationon collegiate athletics.
Yeah, dad's, not some old,regular old, let's get out here
and play boys.
Nah, son, yeah, man.
(17:36):
And another thing is that withRoby, like so just a real quick
check-in, man, she's been doingthis thing where she starts to
cry, you know, to go to dance.
Like she starts to cry whenshe's at dance, you know, like
she's like I don't want to go todance, I don't want to go to
dance, even though she loves it,you know.
So megan's megan's been doingthis thing with her and, like me
(17:56):
, I usually drop her off todance.
But we've been doing this thingwhere it's like you know you're
strong, you're brave and youcan do anything.
You know just like, yeah, thoselike affirmations to her man
and like I can tell she's likesuper nervous.
You know, man, she think, shethink I can.
I saw her today mouthing thoseaffirmations to herself, you
know, as she was like walkinginto dance.
(18:17):
But man, it's just like, yeah,it's just cool to see him kind
of like blossom and be confident.
You know, yeah, bro, yeah, man,it was nice to see him
yesterday, man, yesterday, oh,yeah, yeah, brennan, yeah, them
babies were there.
No, it was Tuesday.
Oh, wow, it was Tuesday, yeah,but them babies were there,
boo-hooed.
If they didn't see you beforeyou got on the plane, bro, boo
(18:39):
boo.
See, I guess we should probablywelcome the new listeners.
Huh, hey, man, welcome the newlisteners.
Yeah, yeah.
So we did a thing, man, tuesdayTuesday morning.
Tuesday morning we went to LakeCharles.
Let's just jump, let's just jumpright into the topic.
Man, that wasn't going to be.
(19:00):
My topic was to be like the LCAexperience.
I have another topic.
Yeah, that's cool.
What topic do you want to talkabout?
Oh, marriage and family class.
Oh, marriage and family therapyclass, class, yeah, okay, well,
let's briefly touch on LCA andthen transition to the class man
, yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you,yeah, so, uh, yeah, so, uh,
(20:18):
jesus and I got invited to do a,a keynote speech, uh, by vicky,
um, the lca president, right,current president, she's rolling
off, yeah, um, but yeah, man, akeynote speech, um, for two
hours, right, two hours, yeah, Imean like hour and a half, hour
and a half, yeah, somewhere, um, but uh, yeah, lake charles,
louisiana, for the louisianacounseling association, louing
(20:40):
Association.
And boy, they paid us money inhand after that.
The second we got off the stage, vicky slipped us a little
check, put it in our pocket.
What kind of Louisiana stuff isthis, with a hot check just in
my pocket?
Come on, man, it was nicethough.
(21:02):
It was nice to get get it.
But yeah, man, it was fun, dog,it was fun.
You know, like we, the way we,the way we do keynote speeches,
you know it's kind of like thisman, like me and you talking to
each other and then the crowdgets to be a part of the
conversation.
You know, like we have astructure and we want it to be
practical.
You know what I mean.
(21:23):
But more than anything, we wantto keep the audience engaged.
And yeah, it felt like we didthat.
Man, people were engaged.
People stayed in there laughingman, some people talked about
crying in there, dog, like, yeah, man, touch people's hearts,
man, yeah, more than anything,it felt like people just had a
good time.
Yeah, yeah, it felt like peoplejust had a good time.
Yeah, yeah, man, people justhad a good time.
(21:44):
There were so many people thatcame up to me and said, like,
man, this is the best keynotethat they've ever been a part of
.
Yeah, man, it says a lot, man,because you know, like man, we
really put some energy andeffort into this, for sure.
You know, like, sure, yeah, man, yeah, we really put some
energy and effort into this.
You know like, uh, sure, yeah,man, yeah, we really put some
(22:05):
energy and effort into it.
So, uh, yeah, it's humbling,like it's.
It's, it's genuinely humbling.
Yeah, man, you know, but it wasalso, it was also dope man to
see, to see a faculty.
Try to get me to work over there, man, try to wow, yeah, man,
yeah, it's probably about the,probably about the third or
fourth time.
I don't know if I told you, man, but they said that they would
fire you if I would go there.
It's getting a little hurtfulnow.
(22:27):
Yeah, I don't know, but youknow what dog?
It's getting a little hurtful,my bad dog, because your rank is
assistant professor.
Wow, mine is associate, so itwouldn't have worked anyway.
That's what I.
Mine is an associate, so itwouldn't have worked anyway.
Well, we got an associateprofessor position open right
now.
Yeah, yeah, I had to pass, Ijust couldn't.
(22:49):
Yeah, that's fine.
The load to carry you would beso heavy with the proximity the
closer I am to you, the heavierthe load.
Yeah, yes, it's how it is theload.
Yeah, yes, it's how it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know howyou are.
Yeah, but you know, honestly,man, if they would have said
(23:11):
they would have knocked down thewall and gave us a joint office
, I would have did it.
I don't want a joint office, man.
Come on, man, come on, bro.
What if you get like a big?
What if you get like asectional?
You know why.
The main reason why I don'twant to join office is because
you don't know how to close yourmouth when you eat.
That's why.
That's why you be up in theresmacking, like you be up in
(23:39):
there smacking.
That's why.
That's why you don't want me towork with you, bro.
Yeah, you can't keep your mouthclosed.
Yeah, you get all your nose,get all stuffy, you start
blowing your nose.
I cannot tell you the amount oflozenges and nasal spray and
Kleenex that we went through ina 24-hour period while this man
(24:01):
was in Louisiana was ridiculous,ridiculous.
We could have made a papermache LCA sign.
That's what the LCA was madeout of.
Ridiculous man.
My God, you know I have sinusissues, man, you know it's a
documented thing.
(24:21):
I got them right, man, you know, you know it's a documented.
It's a documented thing, I gotthem right now.
See, seriously, though, likethis is one of the first
conferences that I've ever beena part of where I felt like, uh,
it was a home game, bro.
That's what I was telling.
My fact, I felt like it was ahome game.
That's what I said.
It was a home game.
That's what I said, man.
I was like look.
I was like, look, g is likehe's in a good spot.
(24:43):
I've never seen him.
This chuffed Ball was chuffed.
Look at my students.
I was like look at my students.
Man, let me introduce you to mylittle students, g.
They're all here.
Did you see the smile on myface at the poster presentation?
Hey Jude, this is one of ourstar pupils, this is Sabrina and
(25:10):
this is Regina and this isGabby and this is, oh, man bro.
Nah, man, yeah, it felt like ahome game bro.
(25:46):
It wasn't just the faculty andstudents from UL, it was also
the alumni from UL too.
Man, I don't know, man, it justfelt like a warm welcoming, so
many people.
It's like I'm so glad that wehave you here on faculty, like
I'm, you know, and not just that, it was private practitioners
who graduated from ul and, likeyou know, you saw how many
private practitioners that wasat lca, man, like real, real
people doing the real work inthe community, something that we
don't, we don't really get atlike a aca.
You know, like I'm pretty surethat they're at aca.
Yeah, they're there at ACA.
Well, yeah, they're there, butACA is different.
Aca, yeah, aca feels a littledifferent.
Lca is like real hometowncooking.
(26:08):
All of those state conferences,man, like North Dakota State we
did the keynote speech there.
Louisiana, we did the keynotespeech there.
You know, man, we could travelaround the country doing keynote
speeches for these guys.
Seriously, man, man, that'd befun, it's great, isn't that bad?
Yeah, for the man, that wouldbe, that would be dope for the
state conferences.
Just kind of go around thecountry and like, do some of
(26:29):
these keynotes, man, yeah, man,hey, but can I, can I take, can
I, can I say something realquick, man?
Um, and it's a pet peeve ofmine, dog, and you trigger me,
you trigger me, man, I triggeryou, you trigger me.
You trigger me, man, I triggeryou, you trigger me.
Yeah, okay, what I do, boy, yousuck at introducing people to
me.
Boy, you suck at it.
(26:51):
I don't know what it is, I don'tknow what it is, jesus, but
there's something inside of youthat I feel like you.
Just.
This is my brother in Jude,that is Austin.
He has been looking forward tomeeting with you.
He has brown eyes, he likes hotham sandwiches.
(27:15):
Don't be irrelevant, don't takethat communication style.
No, man, what you want me to do, this is what I want you to do.
I want you to be like hey manstyle.
Nah, man, what you want me todo, this is what I want you to
do.
I want you to be like hey man,hey, hey man, hey, hey man, so
cool to see you here.
Hey, listen, hey man, that's mybrother.
Hey, you know what this is, so,and so you know what this is
(27:36):
what a faculty said to me.
I figured it was like you know,like I feel like I, like I know
your brother, but that's whatI'm saying, dog.
It felt like people knew me butdidn't know how to talk to me,
and I felt like I felt like theyknew you and for the first time
in my life, first time in mylife, somebody knew you who
(27:59):
didn't know me.
Yeah, and you know that's weirddog, because ain't no
particular.
You know that.
Come on juice.
You know I'm everybody'sfavorite, but I stay in hiding.
I stay in hiding.
Yeah, I, I was telling myfaculty that, like, when I came
home from that conference, dog Itook like a 17 hour nap baby
(28:19):
was like I can't dog, I can'tdog dog my battery.
Hey, remember when that?
This is.
This is the difference betweenthe two of us.
But, like we walked in theconference.
What I'm looking for is a darkhole to envelop myself into.
I'm trying to find the corner,the nearest corner of the
(28:42):
furthest stage, away fromeverybody, and I'm trying to
slink into this corner Eventhough, even though you're the
keynote speaker, even though I'mthe keynote speaker, give me
the hell out of this space withall these people that's saying
thank you so much for everythingyou do for the field.
Leave me alone, man.
I don't.
(29:04):
I don't need your appreciation,I don't't want it.
I'm starting to sweat, my bootyis sweating, my lower back is
tight, my hamstrings are tight.
Nah, man, nah.
But you, you're like, ah, let'swalk around and get some water
and talk to people.
(29:25):
And I'm sitting there like getme behind the closest locked
door.
I only want it locked from theinside, I don't want anyone to
have access to it.
Let me hurry up and eat thiskey, bruh, bruh.
(29:46):
And the meet and greetsafterwards.
Know, man, like it's man, it'sso tough for me, man, it's so
tough, I know it is, I don't, Idon't watching you in the corner
of my eye, like I don't likethe attention, I don't like
people like then, you know, likethe appreciation and the.
(30:06):
You know, like I can I take apicture with you.
It's cool, man, it's cool, Iget it.
I understand that, like, at thispoint in our careers, we're
like known people and like it'shard for us to go to conferences
and, like you know, it'simpossible and not and not not.
And I know, like you know,jerry and Yalom and Bob Wobeding
and all these people have likekind of coached us into like you
(30:30):
know what it's going to be like.
You remember ACA 2016 and theywere like you know, this is you
guys is coming out party andthere's so many of like the
older, the older.
Yeah, that was dope.
Yeah, man, they kind of likebrought us in and was like, hey,
this is how you guys handle,this is how you guys handle,
(30:50):
yeah, this is how you handlethis type of connection with
people.
You can't just not go to thesethings because people really
want to see People will bedisappointed.
If you don't go, people will bedisappointed and, like you know
, I didn't believe it.
But you remember that I did notbelieve it, you know, until we
went to Canada and people werelike I flew from, like, nova
(31:13):
Scotia just to get my booksigned.
Or I flew from Taiwan, yeah,from Taiwan.
You know, like, yeah, that kindof stuff makes you and like 12
of my students, but that's why.
That's why Because, like, I'mintroverted too, you know what I
mean.
Yeah, but you love it though.
(31:35):
Yeah, you love to be on thepedestal.
Yeah, yeah, you love it.
Look at his face y'all Look athis face.
He can't hide the grin.
Oh, he loves it.
He likes to bathe in it.
If he can bottle it, he wouldtake a shot.
Every day he gets drunk off ofit.
Look at him.
(31:55):
It's like a little hit for him.
That's why he was the main onesaying, oh, I would love to go
to every single state conference.
How can I soak up more of this?
This is the only way I'm goingto.
This is how I stay young.
His dreadlocks are starting toglow.
(32:19):
Look at him.
His locks are starting to glow.
That's where he harnesses allthe power he does.
Yeah, I'm an introvert too.
Yeah, I'm an introvert too.
Yeah, I'm an introvert.
You bust down the door talkingabout love me, acknowledge me,
laugh.
Meanwhile I'm skedaddling inthe shadows.
(32:51):
I really love you, I reallylove your book.
Oh, get going, get back.
Nah man, nah man.
I just feel like I'mintroverted too, man, but I
(33:14):
don't get and you get exhausted,you get exhausted.
I don't get tired by it, but Idon't get charged up by it.
You know what I mean.
As opposed to Angela likeAngela, angela would be buzzing,
friend of the cast.
As opposed to Angela LikeAngela, angela would be buzzing.
Angela Weingarten, friend ofthe cast.
Angela would be vibrating, andnot because of any insecurity.
(33:39):
Angela's one of the most securepeople I know.
She's always been like this man, but the social butterfly in
her, yeah, man, she, jerry,jerry, jerry loves it.
Jerry Cole will fly across thecountry just for that hit.
(34:01):
You know he loves it.
Man, he's social, you know,he's just social.
But you know what I think it is, dog, dog is.
I know and we talked about thisbefore, man, we talked about
this before I know that thereare people who look forward to
seeing us and have a differentrelationship to us than we have
(34:23):
to ourselves.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Like they have a differentrelationship to the things that
we say you know, then we have,then we have to the things that
we say you know.
Yeah, I mean there's times, dog, in that conference, there's
times that, like you know where,like you know the crowd popped
at areas.
Yeah, like I wasn't expectingyou know what I mean.
(34:43):
I'm not saying it to be likebecause none of that stuff is
rehearsed for us.
Like we have like notes, likebrief, yeah, like plot points of
kind of what we might want totalk about, but we don't have
like defined.
You know there's no power point, there's no, you know there's
(35:05):
none of that stuff.
There's like barely handwrittennotes of our direction that we
may want to go in.
Yeah, but, but, but I do so.
So that's why, that's why, whenI'm there, I'm like look man,
we only here for a couple ofhours, I'm going to go walk
around, drink some water, sayhey to people if they want to.
You know, and I know, and Iknow cause.
(35:25):
You see him, dog, you see him.
And I know because you see them, dog, you see them.
Remember that there were somany people that came up to us
when there wasn't a crowd aroundus, because they're introverted
, yeah, and so I know thatthere's people at the conference
who want to say something butdon't want to be around a big
crowd, and it does feel likethere's a crowd around us all
the time.
(35:45):
You know what I mean, yeah, andso I try to walk around and be
isolated so somebody could comeup and be like, hey, yeah, you
know, just like you know whatthat girl said, or what that guy
said, dave, you know, I forgetwhere he was from, who, uh, who
wanted the shout out?
Remember, we told him he was soexcited.
Yeah, he was like really, youdo that.
(36:05):
Yeah, man, david, if you'relistening, man, this is your
shout out.
We saw you at the golden nuggetin lake charles.
Yeah, you know, you came up andtalked to us for a little bit,
you know, but he did like hecame up when the crowd was low.
You know what I mean when youknow, and so, um, and so that's,
that's, that's why I do it.
But but I can feel you, I canremember when we remember, when
(36:27):
we were in florida, dog, yeah,that first time it felt like
overwhelming.
Yeah, you know, yeah, peoplewere videoing us with yeah, just
videoing us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, andthat person put their phone in
your face.
I think they were doing likeface, face, they were doing like
a face, or I think they weredoing like face, face, facebook
(36:49):
live or something, or they weredoing FaceTime or FaceTime and a
friend or something.
Yeah, boy, you snatched thatphone and chucked that thing.
So far, bro, I was like, oh,it's time to go man messing up
people's property.
But the way she jammed thephone in your face, I was like
Whoa property.
But the way she jammed thephone in your face, I was like
(37:09):
yeah, whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah,that was.
That was one of the times whereI was like, oh man, oh, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, like back up,like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's why we started to record.
That's why we were like, hey,we need like a table with like
uh, with like rope with like, uh, you know, preferably with the
back to our wall, with the, yeah, with the wall on our back, you
(37:33):
know, because, because peoplewill come behind and I don't
like, I'm not scared or anything, you know, yeah, it's just,
it's hard, it's right, pleaselike, but it's um, it's uh, you,
you miss people when they come.
Yeah, you know, like, rememberwhen the ac, when the ceo of ac8
wanted to talk to us and he wasstanding behind us and we
couldn't see we were, you know.
(37:53):
So it's like stuff like that,that's like yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, I mean it was fun, it wasa good conference man, great
people, it was such a goodconference man, like, I mean my
students showed out.
Man, like, there's so manyawards for like ul students for,
for, uh, for the, for theposter presentation, man, for uh
(38:16):
, there's uh some some studentsfrom uh, some students that did
a poster presentation that'sgraduating.
Uh, gabby sonye uh got uh likepersonally asked to transition
or post a presentation into likean educational session, you
know, for the next uh, for thenext conference, you know.
So, just like, you know, just,man, I think when you're a
(38:37):
master's student, you feel likeyou can't be a part of the state
or national conferences.
You know, and I think ourfaculty here at UL does a really
good job of like, um,supporting, right, all right,
I'm just saying, man, we do areally good job of supporting
students and you work with you.
(38:58):
Well, I'm just saying, you know, and I go cages anyway.
Uh, yeah, man, I was, it was a,it was a great conference.
Man, I love those statements,those statements, bro, I love
the state conferences, man, yeah, so if there's anybody out
there that's listening thatwants to hire us for a keynote,
just shoot us an email, reachout to us.
(39:20):
We'd love to jump into one man.
So, anyway, anything else fromthe conference.
Well, I was just thinking, man,I don't know, we probably
running out of time to talkabout the marriage and family
stuff.
Maybe we'll do it in the nextcast, maybe we're doing it again
a couple more minutes, man, youthink so, yeah, yeah, I mean, I
don't think my, my kids are,are, uh, and I just got there
(39:44):
about to wake up, but I just gotother, I just got other work to
do, you know, yeah, you know,some of us, some of us, you know
, yeah, well, just touch on it alittle bit, bro, just give it a
little, a little slap andtickle, man.
Just, I don't even know what Ireally want to say, man, other
than like amen, fix your face.
If you're a student, fix yourface.
(40:05):
Nah, I can see you, I can seeyou.
And when you look disgruntled,you look like you're
uninterested, you look like youdon't want to be there, and then
I don't hear your voice and youtry to transition from like a
student to to like a, apotential graduate, and you look
at me like remember me, and I'mlike I don't remember you
because you didn't say two wordsin class.
(40:25):
I don't even know who you are.
Yeah, yeah, that's not what youwere trying to say.
No, no, I mean, you know.
I mean, you know it related.
But we did have a student whoyou know I met with, and it's
one of those students, man,that's like, uh, you know, they
got stuff going Makes them notfeel like they can be a part of
(40:48):
the community, you know.
But you know that, man, theywould be a cornerstone, a pillar
in the counseling program ifonly.
But they had the courage, youknow, yeah, after the
conversation, the student didshow the courage and got
involved and it was like itchanged the dynamic.
(41:10):
It changed the dynamic.
It changed the dynamic.
Man, yeah, change the dynamic,but no, I guess what I really
want to say is like, hey, man,marriage and family is hard bro,
hard, hard.
It's complicated man.
Uh, yeah, and I think I mayhave messed up a little bit in
(41:33):
maybe not providing the fullinformed consent that maybe I
should have, you mean, to aclient or to a student, to a
student.
Long story short, I taughttheories and then there we
covered the systems class.
Man Right, systems theories,systems theory, yeah, and just
general systems theory, not any.
You know one specific one, butuh, yeah it it impacted people,
(41:58):
you know, because it's funny,because I can see all of them.
They can't see each other often, you know, because they're just
sitting around, you know.
But there was, there was a lotof, there was a lot of emotional
reactions and I felt like Icovered the surface of it, you
know.
You know the emotionalreactions to what?
To?
To just like talking aboutdifferent patterns and processes
(42:18):
and family dynamics and okay,and dysfunction, you know,
within systems and I and I and Ithink I went into it a little
naive or are not giving it thefull respect that I maybe should
have that.
You could thrust somebody intoawareness by just talking and
(42:43):
doing the lecture, and I knowother council educators have
experienced that too.
Council educators probablyother council educators have
experienced that too.
You know, like you're teachinga particularly tough subject and
then, yeah, you realize it'shaving more of an emotional
impact on the students.
Oh yeah, and oh yeah, this wassometimes.
Sometimes your share is like Ishared a story about a previous
client, right, and the story waslike really harsh, yeah, yeah,
(43:06):
you know, and like yeah, and youknow it had some really like
trigger warning stuff involvedin it.
But to me it was just like aregular client case that
happened 10 years ago, that youdon't think about it.
It fit for what we were talkingabout in lifespan, you know.
And so like I, you know, I'mjust kind of like sharing it and
afterwards there's this likedead space and I'm like whoa,
(43:28):
was that like?
What was that like for y'all tohear?
Yeah, you know, and thestudents are you're not gonna
tell the students likeprocessing their own stuff, you
know, and like that look of likewhat did I get myself into?
Like what kind of field is this?
Yeah, I don't want to.
I don't want to hear about that, yeah, but I was like you
thought I wanted to hear aboutthat.
No, it's just something thathappens to us, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(43:51):
you, just, you just hear aboutthat on a tuesday, yeah, you
know.
Yeah, man, I don't know.
I mean, there's not really muchto talk about, there's not much
to say, just just, just, likethat was, that was part of that
experience, man and and, uh, youknow, I guess, if there's a
list not there, who, who youknow, who maybe have you know,
(44:13):
gone through things, especiallyif you haven't been to therapy,
you know, and then you're goingto go to a program like us, you
know, like you know, like myprogram, university of Maryland,
baylor, the kind of programthat we, you don't have that
depth, that deep growth.
You know what I mean.
Some would even say that we'rea crucible.
(44:36):
You know we hold and fortifyand change and strengthen and
sharpen.
You know, test and make, remake, mold, shape.
You know.
Yeah, anything else you gotanything else.
(44:58):
You know.
I was wondering if you had timeto add some more to it.
No, I think that's it.
I think you get the picture.
Okay, yeah, I think you get thepicture.
Okay.
Yeah, I think you get thepicture.
Yeah, speaking of pictures,we're like a frame.
You know we sit there and no,but if you go, if you go to a
program with some depth in it,you know like, hey, man, you
(45:22):
know, like you cannot escape it.
You know, yeah, and all I wantto do is check in with all of
the students, you know, but Iwon't because, because I,
because I know they got that dogin them.
Yeah, I know, I know, I knowthey do, I know they do.
But it's one of those thingswhere, uh, where you are
(45:44):
teaching, and while you'reteaching, you're looking at the
students and the students arelike they're listening to what
you're saying, but they're alsolike applying it to their own
process, their own life.
You know, and they'reprocessing it because, like,
they're trying to make sense ofit.
So the only way to make senseof it is to it's still through
(46:05):
their own filter, through theirown experience.
Yeah, so, so, because of that,they have their own new
awarenesses, you know, and, likeyou can, you can see that in
real time in, yeah, but you know.
So sometimes I'll ask a studentlike, whoa, what was that
facial expression about?
Or like, what was that about.
It seems like you were thinkingabout something or whatever you
know, and it'll take it on acompletely different tangent
(46:26):
sometimes, you know, that makesme think.
I guess what I really want tosay is you're not alone, you
know, like you're not alone,well, I mean existentially you
are, and you will die alone andthe world will keep spinning and
you will eventually beforgotten.
But yeah, you're not alone inclass.
(46:48):
Yeah, I mean alone in class.
Yeah, I mean yeah, but yeah no.
But I mean, yep, theoreticallysure, but no, it's not, not
theoretically, it's pretty, it'sa surefire thing.
You will be forgotten.
All of the things you careabout will also be forgotten.
(47:10):
I guess what I really want tosay is that, like, other people
felt those feelings too.
You know, like that's that'swhat I mean.
You know that, like it's, ifyou, if you leave, if you leave
those classes, and you feel like, well, I'm weird.
Nah, you just couldn't see theother person crying.
(47:31):
You didn't see the person getup and go to the bathroom and
cry.
You know, one of the one of thebest thing, one of the my most
favorite things that happens inclass is when, when you get
students, feel, wow, okay, letme start that over again.
One of my favorite things inclass that happens is when
students feel comfortable enoughto start sharing personally
(47:54):
some of their experiences andhow that relates, because, man,
it's such a teachable momentit's always a teachable moment.
It's such a teachable.
It's so frustrating whenstudents are like, oh, I'm
feeling something but I'm notgoing to share it because I
don't think it's going to applyto the class.
Yeah, you know.
Or like I don't, I don't want,I don't want, my, I don't want
(48:16):
these students at this cohort toknow me in that way.
You know, I guess that's theirright, you know, but like it's,
it's such a frustrating part oflike students Just the
developmental process, yeah,frustrating part of like
students Just the developmentalprocess.
Yeah, yeah, it's such afrustrating part of that, you
know.
And like they, just you know,they leave the rest of their
classmates with this like, likewanting, yeah, with this
(48:39):
emptiness, oh, like you couldhave shared something that could
have been enriching for thewhole class, but like you're not
going to share anything, youknow, because you just don't
feel like you want to share.
Come on, what are you doing inthis program?
Why are you here?
Anyway, man, that's all Iwanted to say hey, listen man,
(49:02):
listen, listen, hey bro.
Hey, man, we got to get someguests on.
I got like five people who wantto come on, man, like five
people who want to come on, man,five people want to come on.
Uh, I got some supervisees, Igot some some friends.
I got some colleagues.
I got you know, I know, uh, youdon't have anybody because
you're not close to anybody.
Really, actually, actually, Igot some.
(49:24):
I got, I think I want tointroduce some of my faculty
members on there.
There's one faculty member thatI would love to have on.
When is it going to stop?
But I know that if Booj comeson, bro, if Booj comes on here,
there will be nothing.
That's going to get done.
There's nothing.
There is no.
We only got room for two coolyawns.
(49:46):
It's just going to be straightbuffoonery on the microphone.
Yeah, it's not.
Yeah, this is going to get done, man.
So I don't know, I don't know.
But yeah, bro, I'd love to havesome more guests on man.
Yeah, line them up, bro, andmaybe, hopefully, if you can
find some regularity in yourschedule, then you know, maybe
we can invite people on andstart putting out this cast
(50:08):
consistently, hey, man, becauseyou don't see the numbers and I
do.
There's been a massive influxof listeners.
I think people are actuallylistening to this.
Nice, yeah, yeah.
So we can't go two weeks, youknow, without putting a cast out
man.
You think I like this.
(50:33):
You think this is what I wantfor myself?
I think so.
You think I'm choosing this.
I think you love having theinterim associate dean tagline
on your email because you lovethe power that it gives you.
Yeah, you love it.
You love it.
Again.
If they would have told you youcan be the interim associate
dean but you can't tell anyone,you'd have been like oh no, I
(50:54):
can't take that position.
I can't do that.
I need to get out in thecommunity and let people know
I'm associate dean.
Yeah, I couldn't wait to put iton a mug.
I need new business cards.
What's that?
I just I mug.
I need new business cards.
I just IAD.
I need new business cards rightnow and I love the interim
because it makes it longer.
(51:15):
So people will think that it'slike better.
Yeah, yeah, you love it.
You love it.
You love an indented line orlike a second line Separation.
Yeah, hyphen, uh-huh.
Yeah, it's like the boy tookthe NCE and the CPCE and he put
all the acronyms on his tagline,all of them.
The CPC didn't do nothing forhis career.
(51:38):
It did Not a single thing forhis career.
Remember when we were trying towrite that book for Springer?
Yeah, remember when we weretrying to write that book for
Springer and testing, remember,yeah, yeah, somebody, somebody
has to take the CPC.
You took, you took the test towrite the book and you still put
the acronyms on your tag.
So we can get the.
So, so we can get the, so wecan get the notoriety for the
(52:01):
book.
Yeah, see, that's what it's allabout.
You see, you heard it here.
First, the notoriety, that'sall he's after.
That's all he's after, ladiesand gentlemen.
Yep, that's it.
I'm too tired, I'm too tired tofight, I'm too tired to fight
anymore, jarius, I can't fightit anymore.
Well, just let it happen.
Yeah, let it happen, man.
Anyway, what's some checkoutstuff for you?
(52:23):
But real quick, be brief,because I'm tired and I want to
go eat the kids' snacks whilethey're sleeping.
Go camping this weekend, that'sit.
Take the kids camping, man, goto the park camping, some kind
of city thing.
It should be fun.
It's food.
Hey, how many mosquito bites doyou think you're going to come
(52:44):
out with?
It's going to be bad.
Okay, for real, I got all kindsof stuff Thermosel, deep Fog,
I'm about to.
Yeah, I heard, if you rubyourself in bacon grease it
keeps the mosquitoes away, butyou may have to fight coyotes
(53:06):
all night.
The mosquitoes just slide onoff.
You know, we got that sweetblood.
If you put baking grease allover yourself, the mosquito's
cholesterol will be so high themosquito's going to be like I
(53:29):
don't even know how it works.
I don't even think that's howcholesterol works.
Blood's going to be so viscous,some thick blood.
Why is his blood yellow?
He's got a smokiness.
(53:50):
A smokiness to his blood.
What is that?
Must taste hints of apple.
What is this?
Why does his blood taste likerub?
What is this?
He got a marinated one y'all.
He's just stupid, bro.
Let's end this cast before weboth get fired.
(54:12):
Dog, let me check out.
Man.
I got nothing.
Man, it's getting a little coolhere.
Man, we got a movie nighttomorrow, some hot cocoa.
We're doing some paintedpumpkins.
You know, I'm looking forwardto trick-or-treating man.
Our neighborhood goes forwardto trick-or-treating man.
Our neighborhood goes hard fortrick-or-treating man.
Yeah, man, looking forward toit.
(54:35):
Anyway, this has been the TwinTherapist Podcast.
Welcome to the new listeners.
If you're new to this cast,we're going to try to be a
little bit more consistent.
If you're old, you know we'relying.
We're going to try to be alittle bit more consistent.
If you're old, you know we'relying.
We ain't about to make us think.
You did say try, hey, but let'slet the new listeners think
(55:01):
when you get it, you get it.
You know, when you're upsetabout it, you make a podcast.
Man, you make a podcast, youupset about it, you make a
podcast, you make a podcast.
We trying our best over here.
Man, hey, man, yeah, come on,man, yeah, come on, man.
Look, from month to month wechange from weekly to bi-weekly,
(55:24):
to tri-weekly, to tri-left totri-farter.
I like that.
The date now is like oh,november 30th I mean September
30th man, maybe we're in themiddle of October right now.
Man, ooh, we're in the middleof October.
Middle of October, man, yeah,yeah, semester's flying by.
I still have assignments that Ineed to grade from two weeks
(55:46):
ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If we, if, if, if we make itthrough this semester alive, you
know, uh, yeah, man, I justcan't wait for, uh, for cooler
weather, you know, for it to notbe 98 degrees outside, you know
(56:09):
.
Anyway, all right, man, allright.
Well, we'll see y'all next week, maybe, I don't know.
Bye y'all, thank you.
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