July 17, 2024 • 60 mins
Balancing self-care and professional demands can be overwhelming, especially when personal growth is on the line. We reflect on meaningful conversations with mentors, the evolution of our motivations, and the resilience required to juggle life's many responsibilities. Drawing from nostalgic college memories and the journey of self-reflection, we emphasize the importance of internal motivation, genuine aspirations, and the rich, multidimensional lives we've built over the years. As we navigate the balance between family, work, and self-care, join us for a heartfelt discussion on how to maintain a healthy, holistic approach to life's pressures.
If you have any questions about any counseling related topics or would like the twins to share their thoughts about a particular counseling case - reach out with the info below:
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Contact: thetwintherapists@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Welcome back, welcome to the cast.
You know we've had like what,two of these episodes where we
have like a structured thing toit, you know, and it feels right
.
I don't know something in mybones that makes me feel
organized, you know, yeah.
I'm not saying, just for thelistener's sake.
(00:37):
I've been wanting to do thisfor man, listen, all right,
since the beginning.
I'm not saying you were alllike no, I just wanted to be
like an open conversation andlook at us, look at us, yeah.
But I want to go on record tosay that I did try to start this
thing last week and the veryfirst thing out of your mouth is
I got something to say and Iwas like does it fit in which
(00:57):
portion?
And you said I don't know.
Nah, but that's how it is, dog,like you know, like you do
anything, at least for me, right?
Like I need structure so that Ican fly.
So that I can fly Like.
I just want to know where theboundaries are.
I'll stay within them, uh-huh,just tell me where they are.
(01:18):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yeah, you know, all right.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Like.
So once you say like here'swhat we're doing, then great,
you know, I know what we'redoing.
Let me cook.
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yeah, I don't know the way you said, cook, you seem
a little maniacal anddiabolical.
But you know, whatever We'll gowith it.
You know we'll go with it.
Anyway, take, you got how it is.
Anyway, man, hey, we're goingto do a little bit of check-in,
we're going to have a little bitof top-peak and then we're
going to do a little check-out.
All right, you, man, what'sgoing on in your life?
(01:51):
Give the listener a littlecheck-in to what's happening, a
little window into yourexperiences.
Big dog, what's going on overthere?
I don't know, man.
I I just immediately got a textsaying that my dog pooped in
the house.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, it's a dumpster fire over there.
Dumpster fire, hey man.
And another thing, doc, likewhy are kids' footsteps so loud,
doc, so loud?
I just don't think that kidscare.
You know what I've done?
I've taken to wearing AirPodswith the noise canceling on in
(02:30):
the house, just to have a dateNothing's playing.
Just to have a date, nothing'splaying, no, not even to have a
date.
To survive, jt, to survive.
Like Roby's voice, it's'salmost like I don't know man
it's something.
It's something uh, it'ssomething uh biological where,
(02:50):
like you know that that, likenature has seen fit to see her
as, like a vulnerable creatureat this age, you know so they
give her this like eardrumpiercing screech where, like if
she's in danger you know, andshe has two brothers, so she's
in constant danger, constantdanger, you know yeah, and
(03:12):
sometimes she is the danger, sheis the one who knocks he is the
one who knocks when she's notknocking on doors, dog, she is
climbing over.
So for us to get away from bothof them, you know yeah, and
there's just like screech thatshe has.
That's like you know what.
Instead of like fussing to saythat, hey, keep it down, let me
put some noise cancellingheadphones on and everybody's
(03:32):
happy.
She's screaming.
You really do that, yeah, manwow, yeah, she's, she'll be
listening at all I mean, youknow ambient sound comes through
the airpods, but like I don't,I don't have to sit here and
like, like well that's, that'sborderline, neglectful man, I
mean, I don't call it what youwant.
Our parents used to leave us inthe van and go to go inside the
(03:56):
store in louisiana heat.
Man, I remember, I, I saw thisthing.
You remember waking up in apuddle of your own sweat
wondering where's mommy?
Yeah, no, I was, I was Okay.
So my neighborhood, you know,like you know the neighborhood
we live in, we have thiscommitment to have like a 90
summer, right, right, free range.
(04:16):
Yeah, you know, free range dog.
And and you remember, like whenwe were kids, like summertime,
like our parents didn't care,they didn't change their plans
for summer.
No, you know, it's not likethey worked around it, it's like
you just win.
You know, yeah, and that's how,that's how the summer is, man,
that's how the summer is, andit's hard.
(04:37):
I can see now why, like youknow, because my kids are
starting school in the fall.
Yeah, so I can see now whyparents are like, man, I can't
wait for school to start.
You know, I mean, I understoodit, you know, but it didn't like
touch my heart until, like youknow, and I love, I'd spend
every single day with my kids,but it's more like they need it.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah, you know, like I see it in his face.
I see it in his face.
I see it in his face.
No, no, no, you don't need it.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
They need it.
Yep, listen, man you havenothing to prove, man, you're a
good father.
To our eyes, to the listeners'eyes, you're a good father.
Man.
You can go ahead and let it fly, dude.
Let the listeners know you'retired of them.
Baby-ass kids, you're tired ofthem, you tired man.
I, I see in kian's face howhe's tired of us.
(05:27):
Oh yeah, oh no, no, no yeahlike yeah, you know I would I?
I would say that cairo is, orthe borderline of actually
saying it out loud like I'mtired of y'all.
Tired of y'all, I'm tired ofy'all.
I'm tired of y'all.
Tired of y'all, I'm tired ofy'all.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I'm tired of y'all fussing.
I'm tired of y'all.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I get it, I get it, dog, I get it.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
I absolutely get it.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Anyway, I'm doing good, man.
Yeah, other than that, clientsare doing good.
You know, I'm starting mysupervision practice up.
Got a couple of supervise youto the board about, yeah, I
can't wait.
Yeah, a new level ofvulnerability.
I'll be watching.
Hey, man, we got some goodprojects coming up.
(06:11):
You know, like some good dopeprojects.
We got a couple meetings.
You know we got that meeting.
We got two meetings tomorrow.
Yeah, man, you know, with ACAwere booked I need to cancel
some clients.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yeah, oh, you're not gonna be able to make it.
No, never make those, no, manyou always leave me in there.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Where's your brother?
I don't know, I don't know.
No, I feel him.
I come around, yeah, I comearound when the project's almost
done.
Yeah, yeah, put my name on thatthing.
I didn't say it, nah, but butuh, but yeah, I'm doing good.
What about you, man?
I don't really care.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
I don't really care.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Let's move on to the topics man, that's cool, I'm
used to it.
I'm used to nobody caring asthe official middle child of
this podcast, yeah.
I'm used to nobody caring,nobody gives any cares about my
failing ct.
You know, I'm, I'm over hereemoting in solitude, anyway,
(07:12):
anyway, you doing, you doing.
Okay, man, you ate today, I'm?
Hey, man, listen, I started anew workout plan, you know,
because you know what you like.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
I'm, I'm, I'm that is time I'm tired of going to
these gyms.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I'm tired of paying the gym fee.
Man.
I tried crossfit.
It was cool, but I ended upalways hurting like I'm I just
told.
I just told lindsey that I'mlike, I'm thinking about taking
a break every time I do everytime I do these crossfit
workouts, man, I am hurtingbecause, like man, everybody in
crossfit just everybody incrossfit is new to this.
(07:46):
They're new to it.
Man, like like new, new tobeing an athlete, new to being
an athlete, they're new to it.
Yeah, it feels that way.
It feels that way.
You get into the gym and it'slike you know people and when I
say athlete, I mean real athlete.
I don't know about to alienatea bunch of our audiences, but if
you ain't playing in college,you, you ain't a real athlete
man, you just not, oh my goshhey.
(08:07):
Hey, hate me if you want to.
Why you always be saying theseincendiary?
Things man Hate me if you wantto, I feel like you trying to,
but if you play for yourintramural college softball team
, you ain't an athlete.
I'm talking real athletes,softball team, you ain't an
(08:28):
athlete.
I'm talking real athletes.
Nah, man, I know I do.
Man like my hips hurt man, I'mlike, yeah and it's not like, oh
, I'm tired and I'm out of shape.
That those two things are true.
They are very much so true, butalso that isn't pain yeah, yeah
, like, yeah, I'm tired, I'mweird stuff I'm tired of
recuperating.
Yeah yeah, man, I hate that, Ihate that.
So anyway, I tried to do PlanetFitness.
That is a stratosphere beyondwhat.
(08:53):
I'm actually prepared for yougot people walking upside down.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You got people in Planet playing fitness.
It's another planet people froma.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
If you a man, I know I'm getting a bunch I know I'm
gonna get a bunch of hate, man,I know it.
Man, I'm just like.
I walked in there I was like,hey, hey, big fella.
Hey, where's the free weights?
Oh, we don't have free weightsin there.
Okay, y'all have any plateslike above, I don't know 45.
(09:33):
Do you have like any free likebarbells?
No, no, we got the smithmachine.
I know, I see the smith machine.
You got any like like barbells,like olympic barbells?
No, we don't.
We don't do that here.
I was like okay, I thought youdid okay, so this is not for me
it's not a good fit, but I gotso much weights in like the shed
(09:55):
, you know, like legitimateweights man, so I'm like all
right cool, let me, let me, letme get uh, I think it's like I
don't like to say the name ofthe app because they're not
paying us, but it's an app,right, and it structures your
workout and you put all yourcategories in there your weight,
your height, all this stuff,man, and then I ticked the box.
They gave you four options.
Like you know, never done itbefore beginner, intermediate or
(10:18):
expert.
You know, I'm like, I'm anathlete, so let me click expert,
expert.
I'm an athlete, so let me clickexpert, expert.
You know what the workout wastoday?
What, like turning your bodyinside out.
Are you a superhero?
But this is a workout for you.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Flip your skin do you have undying?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
endurance.
Well, this is a workout for you.
Flip that skin, do some-upswith your liver.
It gave me a workout where Ihad to do six sets of eight reps
on a bench press of 270.
I said 270 to what Light weightit's hard to lift 270.
(11:05):
Every time I got to go to thebathroom.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I can't lift it off my chest.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Who is asking me to do this?
Who runs this app?
Who runs it?
I got 270 pounds worth of grief.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
That's the regret I carry every day 270.
This SSRI can't even lift 270.
I got 270 pounds of missedopportunities.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
This is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
That barb I felt like stood alone.
I was like, get me fromunderneath this.
I do not want this much weight.
So I said 270, lightweight, andthey put it on the rack.
Then we just lift it up.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
No spider, no spider.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I am alone.
I have a neighbor who is 70years old.
I had to yell for help Underthat thing like yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But as soon as I was about tostart working out, man Megan
came with the kids.
The kids jumped out, kyrajumped out.
He's like Thank you, thank youno, no, no no no, he's like
(12:29):
thank you, no, no, no, no, he'slike groby daddy's about to do
work.
I'ma sit right here and watchhim, watch him ask that work.
So I'm looking at him like, oh,I got to lift this weight.
Yeah, man, I lift, I lifted it.
Uh, there are no words, jt, yousaw your life?
(12:50):
Yeah, there are no words, man,it was heavy.
Yeah, yeah, it was heavy.
Yeah, what started all this?
What made you say like today isthe day?
today is the day, man, I wasjust like I'm like uh, there was
this thing, maybe I know youknow what.
No, so this is what started it.
(13:13):
I talked to my, to a supervisor,so I'll just like you, I'm
trying to get the, thesupervision, like like they,
convinced me to get thesupervision thing you told me
this yeah, man, and like I don'tknow if I mentioned this to the
cast and I won't say her nameout loud, but like I had a
supervisor and in louisiana yougot to get like, uh, your old
supervisor to like sign up forthe paper, right?
So I talked with her and it andI left.
(13:34):
Uh, she didn't pick up and thevoicemail was basically like hey
, I gotta, I gotta quote, I gotto close my practice down.
But if you need to contact me,here's the, the so-and-so and
so-and-so.
I was like whoa, she has toclose her practice down.
So I called her cell phonenumber.
She picked up and we had like along talk.
She had some like medicalissues, like just from like
(13:55):
compiled stress over time, yeah,you know, with like trying to
build a business, trying toraise a family.
Yeah, man, and so she.
We just had a long talk, youknow, and she was like you're
probably overworked, you know.
She's like how often are yousleeping?
I was like I may get like fourhours of sleep.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
You know I may get four hours of sleep you know
she's like what time did you goto sleep last night?
I?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
was like four o'clock , you know yeah, that's crazy,
yeah, man.
Yeah, it's crazy, yeah, dog,because like just doing an
inventory of my life you know,yeah, that that send now button,
oh, that send later button onemail, yeah, it's a, it's a
godsend, but like you shouldn'thave to use it, you know like
(14:40):
you shouldn't.
Like when it like I was talkingto like we have an executive
dean you know who's like overour college, you know, and uh, I
was talking to him and I waslike how do you answer all the
emails?
yeah yeah, like, how do you?
You know what I mean, how doyou attend to all of the stuff?
All of the stuff?
You know what I mean, like youknow it's, it's.
There's so much stuff and I'mnot saying like I'm a busy boy,
(15:04):
like I you know, yeah, it'simplied no, and I'm not even
saying that.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I'm that important, you know no, it's just all of
this, it's just attending, it'sjust like things, attending to
all of these things.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You know like so many different levels.
Yeah, man, you know dog, it'slike, yep, it really is like
like dog.
If you're not gonna stay uptill 4 am, then like how can you
possibly stay ahead?
How can you?
Yeah, and then, and then peoplestart to feel like you're not
paying attention to them, you'renot attentive exactly you know
like stuff starts to slip downinto the back burner.
(15:37):
You know it's hard to keep upwith with all this stuff, so
anyway, anyway.
So like, yeah, I just you knowI'm not on this whole like I'm
putting me first thing, you know, but like, yeah, man, part of
it is like, all right, man, Ineed to like, really pay
attention to, like you know, Ineed to pay attention to like
what makes me feel, uh, likewhole, you know, and like
(15:59):
working out by myself doing aworkout that, like I know what
I'm doing, like the progressionof, like man, of a, of a push
pull day, you know, or like of aleg day, or like you know, like
I know what I'm doing when itcomes to like bench pressing, I
know what I'm doing.
When it comes to like you know,like ink liper, whatever all
those things, like I know whatI'm doing.
(16:20):
I don't need somebody to like,I don't need to pay somebody to
say, hey, you're doing it thisway, you're doing it that way.
You know it's years and yearsand years and years and years of
working out.
You know, man, I just had ayeah, I just I've never felt
more connected to myself thanyou know when my left air pod
died, uh, and I can hear myheartbeat and breathing, you
(16:43):
know, and I'm like working outby myself under the garage.
You know, yeah, and yourheartbeat is just like no, yeah,
my heartbeat was oh, jesus,cossip, yes, why are you doing
this to us?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
What did I do to you?
I have just been beating.
I'm supposed to be the onebeating the blood.
Why are you beating me?
I hate it in here.
Please, Mr.
When did it get so hot?
I want to get out.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
He hates us.
He hates us yeah.
My lungs were like he hates usyeah.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
He hates us.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It's cool, but it's easy.
And we do this, doc.
You know, like, like, if thelistener of you followed our
career, like, you know that wedo keynote speeches on self-care
.
You've probably heard it.
Yeah, yeah and uh, you know, wewrote the book, literally wrote
the book on council ofself-care.
Yeah, hey, man, it's hard, man,it's hard, it's hard man
because, you, you do you like,you have these seasons of your
(17:53):
life where you lose focus, youlose focus, man yeah, you do.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
It's not that you lose yourself, you know it's
that like.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
It's that like things get out of hand.
Yeah, you know things get outof hand, yeah, yeah, you know
it's like.
It's like the and then thecurrent starts yeah, and you
know what I mean.
But hey, man, not just that man, carl's getting older and that
car was seven years old, turningeight years old this year.
He's into like sports and stuff.
So like man, I'm out there.
(18:22):
He's like he has a legitimatequestion.
Daddy, how do you do theseplyometric ladders?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
like I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Let me show you, let me rip my Achilles.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah, man.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
And there's a real part of me that's like I don't
know if I could do it or shouldI do it.
I could do it or should I do it.
I could do it, but it's notgoing to be the way that I, you
know.
So, like man before when wewere like 20, 21, 22, 23, while
I'm working out for like thegames I mean the games and now
(18:56):
I'm working out for like dogbalance, I don't want to fall
down.
Yeah, a one fall.
(19:23):
I don't want to fall down, man,at one fall at this.
Man, I'm trying to.
I just want to be able to likeshuffle.
I want to play basketball, man,like I want to.
You know, like I can do yardwork, play basketball, all that
stuff.
You know.
Amen, to give me your hardestcrossfit workout now.
I'll finish it and ain't gonnabe on time and it's gonna be
scaled, but I'll finish it.
So I'm not saying I'm not anathlete, it's just sometimes it
(19:44):
doesn't feel like it's harder tobe an athlete.
It's harder to be an athlete.
It's harder to be an athleteman, especially the athlete that
I want to be.
Yeah, Because we have a uniqueperspective where we had an
opportunity to see and to feelour bodies at its
tippity-top-ish shape,tippity-top, tippity-top-ish
shape, doing unhuman stuff,unhuman stuff.
(20:07):
Yeah, where you want me to runthe Congo?
Where you want me to run theCongo, when you want me to start
Kuwait?
Like I got a meeting at 530.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Can I?
I'll be back.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
When do I need to be back?
Yeah, I'll run Wherever.
Yeah, yeah, man, but that, butthat stuff, like you know,
obviously you know the reader, Imean the listeners don't know
this, but Jesus and I stumbledupon or Jesus stumbled upon some
old pictures.
Yeah, man, let's get into thetopic.
Let's get into the topic, man,let's get into the topic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(20:48):
So so, all right, all right.
(21:15):
So I stumbled upon somepictures, man, I listen.
I was in the group, I was doinggroup therapy and we were
talking about some random stuffand somebody said, yeah, I
wonder if you, like, have, hasanybody googled themselves?
You know, I lied and I said, no, I didn't.
But you know, your boy's vain,you google.
Yeah, your boy's vain, you do,I'm not even every day.
Yeah, your boy's vain.
So, yeah, I googled just tocheck.
(21:36):
Do I have google alerts likeyou do?
no, I don't, you know I don'tyeah yeah, but you know, so I I
googled myself and I found thislike this athletic picture, this
picture, like this uh, this, uhplayer picture, like this
player picture and like theroster picture from the
university that they wereplaying for.
I was like whoa, what is thisdoing here?
(21:57):
Somebody must have beentinkering around with the
website.
Man, I was like whoa, it wasfrom 2008?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
2008,.
I'm senior year.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
If you see the history it'll go like 2005.
I know, I saw, I know, I saw,so I so I collect, like I click
history and they gave me, uhlike four pictures of freshman
year college, sophomore yearcollege, junior college, senior
college.
You know, and like I can justsee the shift in, like my
(22:28):
attitude, my confidence like mybody, my hair, all of that stuff
, and it just I was spinningdown memory lane, man Spinning,
and like for the listeners, likeyou can for sure go online like
google us and look at you.
(22:49):
Gotta go down a little bit butyou'll see like you see a
picture of us like in, in, likea uniform soccer uniform, yeah
soccer uniform yeah and you cansee the progression.
Yeah, you know, but yeah, man,yeah, man, yeah, yeah, so so it
made me think of, like you know,some of the things that
personally led us to where weare now, just as fathers, but,
(23:16):
more importantly, as clinicians,as authors and speakers.
You know what I think, doug,when I first saw that I was in
class, right.
Yeah, I know speakers.
You know what I think, likewhen I first saw that I was in
class, right.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah, I figured you were.
I figured you were.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yeah, we were taking a break, and when I'm in class
and I'm teaching that big long,you know stretch, I don't know
what's going on in the world.
And so when we take a break, Ilook down.
I saw the pictures and I waslike wow, you know what.
(24:03):
The first thing I thought aboutwas man, like um, you know,
like the hustle changed.
You know what you mean.
The focus, the focus of thehustle changed.
When you know, like dog when wewere in college, you know, like
you know, freshman, sophomore,junior, especially junior that
summer.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Yeah, you remember that summer, dog, I do that was.
Yeah, that summer.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Summer, before summer , after junior year, going into
senior year, going into senioryear.
Yeah, man, we ate barbells yeah.
That's it.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
That's all we did yeah, protein and All we did
yeah, protein and I mean it?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
was.
It was intense, dog.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
You know it was the hardest.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I've ever worked out in my life.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, and honestly, dog, it wasn't even because we
wanted to be in shape for soccer.
No, oh, it wasn't.
No, huh, not for me.
Oh, what was it for you?
Um, I just wanted a six-pack.
Nah, it was.
Uh, it was, it was because Ididn't talk hey, real, quick,
(24:57):
real quick.
You know.
No, you know that scene in uh,like avengers, when, uh, I don't
want to like butcher the namesof the people, but like you know
when, like you work really hardfor something and you know you
get to the end goal and you'relike, was it, was it worth it?
You know, would you have torisk to get there?
Like that's what, that's whathaving a six pack is like.
Like was it, was it worth it?
(25:19):
You're at like eight percentbody fat and you have nobody
around.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Remember that.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
It was like what two weeks, two weeks?
We had that six pack.
No you.
Like what?
Two weeks, two weeks?
We had that six pack, no youknow, no, no I I was fleeting, I
was, I was in, and out.
Yeah, man I I remember youcouldn't tell me nothing.
I was dehydrated you know Icouldn't um like remember a lot
it was disoriented I don't thinkI did do too good in school,
(25:44):
yeah, you know, but hey, yeahmegan almost broke up with me
clothes yeah, I almost lost therelationship, yeah, but uh, but
anyway, anyway, um, yeah, Ithought my first thought was
like was like man, I wish Icould go back to you, know, but
oh, really, yeah.
but then the more I thoughtabout it, the more I was like,
(26:04):
nah, hell, we, we didn't, wedidn't have anything.
I feel like my life is so muchmore fuller now.
Sure, you know what I mean.
Yeah, like back then it feltlike one dimensional, but I
didn't know that back then.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Right, you know what I mean I didn't know that back
then and obviously, like I don'tthink I'm smarter, I just think
I know more stuff.
Yeah well, yeah, no, you knowwhat I mean.
No, but I think that's through,like you know.
Obviously that's through thatlife experience you know like
you're going to get.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
And I don't have as much like hang-ups.
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
I think, that's it.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
That's the thing.
There's so much less things.
That's the thing In the way of,like my psychological
experience and reality.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
(27:05):
Oh, yeah, you know, like Ithink at that age, like you know
, even like junior, senior year,you know it's like I'm living
life, but there's this screen inbetween, like me and the world.
You know, like we're like, asI'm moving through the world,
things are coming through thatscreen and then into my
(27:26):
existence.
Yeah, you know, and now thescreen doesn't feel so cloudy
yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, oh yeah, things.
Things just happen and I'm andI'm able to experience them
emotionally in real time.
So, dog, do you think that,like I don't know the screen
(27:50):
that you were talking about,right?
Like, do you think that's dueto like I don't know, man
anything that you intentionallydid, or was it something that
was like you experienced?
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Does that?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
make sense.
What do you mean?
Like, so, like, like I did.
I wasn't using drugs oranything.
No, man, no, I'm saying youknow, no, I'm saying like all
right, all right, you don't haveto try to convince us, man, you
don't?
I'm just saying I said no Okay,okay, okay, yeah, I dare to say
Okay, all right, okay, yeah, Idare to say no, right, we
believe you.
Yes, yeah, we believe you.
(28:32):
Uh-huh, I did Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
We all did no.
No, you're saying it like I'veused.
Yeah, don't say it like that.
We all said no.
Yeah, I put we did.
Say no, we did what.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
What did you say?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah, we all said no G Yep.
Nah man, like all right.
So like all right, sure, sure.
When I looked at those picturesright, it's like all right, so
like all right, Sure, sure.
When I looked at those pictures, right, it's like all right.
2005,.
The picture from 2005 to 2006.
In that time, between 2005 and2006, I broke up with what I
(29:21):
thought at the time was the loveof my life, the person that I
had been dating for six monthsand two days and thought they
was going to be my forever wife,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Forever.
Why wouldn't we get married?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I know for sure.
Listen, I've lived 18 years oflife and I know this is the
person for me.
How many people have you tried?
None.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
This is it.
This is the first girl thattalked to me.
This is it, and she's the one.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
This is it for me, I'm done.
I found her, yeah One and doneyeah man Batting a thousand.
Oh yeah, man, yeah, I'm savingup for the engagement right now,
Right now, right now.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
You got a job?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
No, but I'm collecting all kinds of coins
and cans.
I think I'm going to use mystipend from my scholarship from
my scholarship.
I think I may use that too.
I don't need books.
I'm going to get cans.
I'm going to get pecans, Idon't need books.
Yeah, man, there was noOnlyFans back then, man, we had
to get it how we had to live.
Anyway, man, also, we went frombeing top dogs in high school
(30:26):
to being like oh, this is agrown man.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Oh, this senior is 28 years old ex-military.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
But what did you mean ?
What did you mean when you saidlike so, like there was
something I did?
Those things were like yeah, weexperienced, we experienced a
breakup.
We experienced what it was liketo like be an athlete and be a
and go back down to being afreshman again.
You know, we experienced it.
But then there was some otherthings that we did that was like
really intentional, you know,like uh, like make friends with
(30:54):
joe, you know, and like reallylike shout out to joe, we need
to, we need to bring joe I'vebeen joining the cast man, yeah,
but like, really like, reallylike, stoked that friendship,
you know, and like it reallyclicked and like it was, it was
dope man and without Joe wewouldn't have had the college
experience that we had.
We wouldn't be the same people,we wouldn't even be the same
people.
We wouldn't be the same people.
(31:15):
Exactly, that's 100% true, 100%, 100% true.
So that's what I mean.
I guess it's a combination ofboth, but like.
But.
At the time I wasn't thinking.
I wasn't thinking oh yeah,these are the things that I'm
going to need in the future tobe able to, like, wipe that
(31:36):
glass clean or to where I cansee through the glass or
whatever, right?
No, but there were signs, whatyou mean?
There were signs, like you know, like, like there were signs
that the glass, there were signsthat the screen was getting
clearer.
Like there were signs.
You mean like in the picturesor you mean like in life in
general, in the pictures,because in the pictures, for
(31:57):
sure, in the pictures, like look, if you go through and look at
our faces.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you look at June's- junior year
face.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Junior year face the transition from junior year face
to senior year face.
I was an absolute men's senioryear.
Yeah yeah, there was less hard,done by-ness.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
You have to prove yourself.
Yeah, less of that.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Less of this feeling of like, um, they have to get me
yeah but you know what?
though you know what.
You know, what came up for me,like through the pictures, was
that like, how much of a uh,like a wave.
It was like in the sense oflike up and down.
You know, like you go, you'redown, you're a freshman, then,
(32:50):
like you get to junior year andthen you're a senior and you're
like, oh, I don't have anythingto prove like that.
You know, I'm trying to buildthis team, I'm trying to create
this leadership dynamic to whereI like the next generation of
athletes can come through andwhatever, whatever, whatever,
right, I'm moving on to likegraduate school, whatever.
And then you get to graduateschool and you don't know
nothing, like you think you knowstuff, but then you really you
(33:12):
quickly find out when you're inyour first therapy session your
first mock therapy session it'sthe process all over again.
And then there, here comes thesneaking suspicion of like I
don't know what I'm doing, am Igood enough?
Well, I, you know.
I have to prove myself to myprofessors that I'm good enough.
You know, yeah, dog, but youknow what that summer was?
In between junior and senioryear, I was lifting way too much
(33:37):
weight and taking way too muchpre-workout supplements.
Nah, but you know what it was,dog?
It was like our therapy.
What do you mean?
It was like Like it was therapyfor us, or it was foundational
to who we are as therapists.
I think it was therapy for usand also foundational, okay, you
know.
Yeah, like dog this goes backto what you said last week you
(34:00):
know, like, like, how, like youknow, sometimes you just gotta
be uncomfortable.
Yep, yeah, bro, you know what Imean.
Like some, like doc, sometimesyou gotta go find the solution
in the dirt.
Yeah, you know, like you can't,you're not gonna find it in the
therapy office, you're notgonna find it in.
(34:20):
You know a group, you're notgonna find it in.
You know what I mean.
Like sometimes you know thosethings can help and they're
supportive and yada, yada, yada.
But, sometimes, dog, you justgot to go put yourself in a
place that tests your mettle.
You know, yeah, and I think,honestly, like you know, and
this goes back to like, thisgoes back to like, you know, our
(34:42):
coach, you know which one?
I'm probably going to Google itCoach Bankhead, oh, bankhead,
yeah, who probably gonna googlein?
Of course, bankhead.
Oh, you know, dog, who's aabsolute amazing coach.
Uh, I mean, I didn't reallylike the arkansas.
I didn't make this run.
I'm a little bit cross that wehad to run for 45 minutes
because of the freshman, butyeah but you know what dog, like
part of the screen, was like,making him a symbolic object.
(35:06):
You know, like sophomore andjunior year, you know of like he
symbolizes what you don't like?
Oh yeah, you know, but there's,there are dark.
If you think about it, thereare several symbols like that.
Right, absolutely several.
So that's the screen.
Uh-huh, that's the screen.
So it's like it's like that.
It's like I mean, I don't knowif we had that screen.
Well, I think there was like,uh, maybe maybe there was that
(35:31):
in our master's program.
Not so much, our master'sprogram was really healthy, you
know.
But wait, but hold on, hold on,hold on, let me, let me, let me
finish.
Yeah, go ahead.
So like so, like that, that'sthat junior senior year, like
that, that summer, yep dog, thatwas like like because we didn't
talk about stuff in the gym, wedidn't, we weren't processing
(35:53):
stuff, didn't?
We have our own headphones on.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
We had our own headphones on.
It was just me, and you YepLike healing.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Yeah.
Oh my God man.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
This is the first time I actually recognized that
as like oh, that was healingyeah.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Yeah, we broke down so much muscle fibers and that.
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Myosins are myosins.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I didn't realize how.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
We came back, ran two miles in another 12 minutes
without batting an eye.
But not just that, it was like,yeah, it was noticeable, it was
noticeable, yeah, it wasnoticeable, and it wasn't like
we were trying to do it.
That was the healthiest, Ithink, mentally.
You could see it.
I look at that picture and Ilook at my face and I'm like,
(36:39):
yeah, yeah, yeah, you could seeit that this no longer matters
to me in the same way it did.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you know what Imean.
Like this has become a crucibleand that's all this is yeah
yeah, you know it's.
It's a place that shapes me andholds me, yeah, and I can change
(37:00):
and grow in it, but it's not mylife.
Well, I wish that.
I wish that any.
I wish that everyone could viewlife through that lens.
It's hard to.
It's hard to when you're notgetting the playing time.
You think you should get whereyou feel like you're old,
(37:21):
something that you're notgetting.
You know and you don'tunderstand.
You're working hard.
You don't understand what'sgoing on.
You know and like you don't, youdon't get it, you know, and
like, yeah, man, to sit back andbe like, oh, this isn't even
really about soccer, yeah, likethis really isn't even about
being a starter on the team.
(37:42):
You know, like this is aboutlike self-definition, yeah, and
even beyond that, or not beyondthat, like adjacent to it, is
the idea that, like you know,this is the process that I'll
(38:02):
need to replicate whenever I'mstruggling.
You know, you know, wheneverI'm hurting and I'm not saying
like, I'm not saying like every,every experience you have, now
you need to hit the mattressesand you know the weight, right,
right I'm saying like it won'thelp.
I mean it won't hurt.
It won't hurt for sure, forsure, but anyway, I think that's
(38:32):
what I'm trying to.
That's what I'm trying to,that's what I'm trying to get
clients to see.
You know, I think it.
I think that was like afoundational piece of our
experience when it comes to,like, the shaping of myself as a
therapist, you know, is thatlike dog, it don't matter how
much pretty therapy cycle?
Yeah, you know, language doc,sometimes, sometimes you gotta
sit in front of the pain andsquat it.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Yeah, man, you know what I mean.
And clean it, yeah, and tripleextend, yeah, you know what I
mean.
Dog, yeah, like you got tosnatch that thing.
Yeah, you know, and I'm nottrying to be like dismissive or
run through it or run through itor walk through it.
Yeah, run through it Like doc.
Sometimes you got to push yourbody to the absolute brink and
(39:14):
then take one more step.
That's what we've been doing,though Just to know that you
came.
Hey, you know what I mean.
Now, does that mean at the riskof your own health?
Well, here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
It's not right, but it's fair.
Thank you, no, here it is.
(40:41):
Here's what it is, doc.
Here's what it is okay.
2000, 2005, healthy yeah, it'snot the same as 2006 healthy,
it's not.
You know.
2007, not the same.
2008, not the same.
But, dog, like I could, I, Ididn't know what was on the
other side of what I thoughthealthy was until I ran through
(41:05):
it.
I think, yeah, do you know whatI?
mean like, do you feel likeyou're at that place now in your
life, or do you feel likeyou're on the other side, like
we do you?
Feel like in some, in some ways, in some ways, yeah, you know,
yeah, like, in some ways, like,like, like getting, like getting
tenure was like you know, itwas like symbolized, like, okay,
(41:32):
you know, like this is, this isI don't know like evidence of
you know, evidence of what Idon't know, I don't really know,
man Like evidence I've been,I've been watching've been
watching dog and and on this, ona serious tip like you ain't
(41:52):
posted that you got tenure, likeyou ain't I didn't tell you
ain't telling nobody, you didn'tmake it, but that's what I'm
saying that's what I'm saying.
It wasn't.
It wasn't like that, it wasn'teven for other people, I think
it was more for me.
Yeah, yeah, you know that, likeyou know, and this gets into
some you know, like kind ofcultural things as well, you
(42:12):
know, but like this idea thatlike um, I don't know that, like
that, it's um, it's like, notthat you can't take it away from
me, you know, but I think forme it was like, oh yeah, like
(42:33):
I've, I can play this game.
Yeah, you know, cause it's agame.
Well, well, you know, and notjust the game of academia.
I mean, it's like the game.
I talked to somebody today aboutthat, you know, and they were
kind of, they were talking aboutlike their experience in a doc
program and feelingdiscriminated against, and I
don't want to make the castabout that, but you know, you
(42:55):
know and and how they're likeconfronting the person here and
I'm checking out and I'misolating, you know, and that's
just all I have to do to get youknow.
I'm like that's not, that's notit I have to do to get you know
and I'm like doc, that's not,that's not it.
Yeah, that's not it, you know,and I think, like in that that
junior senior summer we had thatoption.
We did have that option.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
We had that option to just go.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
I'm going to capitulate.
Yeah, I'm going to take care ofmyself.
I'm going to do such and such,or I'm going to transfer schools
and I'm gonna I'm gonnatransfer schools.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yeah, I'm gonna go where I know they want me.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
I don't even think coach knows, every single summer
, every summer we were beingrecruited, every summer, yeah,
you know, so, duck, so manywhispers are like you know he
ain't gonna play y'all.
Yeah, you know he's not gonnaplay y'all.
Come over here, man, like wegive you a full ride scholarship
.
Yeah, you know, like just allof the, all of the stuff that
now, yeah, you know, is okay todo from schools that were
(43:50):
winning championships, that werewinning championships, yeah,
uh-huh, you know, but we stayedthere.
Yeah, you know, you know what Imean.
And, yeah, and you know, noregrets or anything, but I, oh,
I definitely don't do not regretthat.
Yeah, you know, you know, butbut anyway, yeah, that's the
(44:13):
stuff.
I feel like that mentality iswhat I try to tell clients.
Yeah, but I think I think it's.
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
If you want to translate it tolike you know therapy and like
what you do in the therapy room,yeah, you know, like.
(44:35):
Sure, it can translate to to um, to clients, you know.
But I also think that, like,more personally, you know to
like have that idea of like whatI need, you know, like, what do
I need, like when I'm feelinguh like off center.
Usually in my life it's alwaysbeen because of an entity
external.
For myself, it's usually beenbecause like, oh, a soccer coach
or a team I didn't make, aprofessional team I didn't make.
(44:58):
Or oh, I made a professionalteam and oh, we got traded, or
like a breakup or whatever, aclass or something, yeah, but I
think I think nowadays, justlike you were saying, with like
the whole tenure thing, a lot ofthis stuff is like self-driven,
you know so, like the idea oflike, the idea of like, no, I
(45:22):
I'm not trying to publish thesebooks because, you know, I'm
trying to compete with you know,uh, gerald Corey, or you know
that's so true.
You know, now I'm publishingthese books because, like, I
need to prove it to myself that,like I can like build a name
for myself in the field and alsoI can like carve out my own
(45:44):
existence within this field.
Like my voice matters not tothe reader, not to the listener,
but to myself.
I am 100%, genuinely myselfwhen we're writing these books,
and I did that at the detrimentof my own health, because it was
worth it to me.
It was worth it me, like it wasworth it now now, like now,
(46:15):
working that hard makes no senseto me, not because, not because
it was idiotic or it was, youknow I shouldn't have done it.
It makes no sense to me nowbecause of the state that my
life is in.
You know, yeah, I don't want todo that, you know.
So, like, all right if I'm goingto enter into this next phase
of life, then, like what, whathas always been present every
time I've like, entered into thelike a next phase of life, you
know, and it's always been likethis crucible that you talked
(46:38):
about Weights, weights, weights.
I need to feel something heavyon my chest, and I'm not talking
about burpees and box jumpswith a coach like, oh yeah, good
job in the background.
No, I mean isolation alone,headphones by myself, only my
(47:00):
thoughts, only my breathing.
The reflective grind Exactlyman, oh my God.
Reflective grind exactly man,oh my god.
But dog, dog, you hit.
You hit the nail in the in thehair when you said like, like,
you know, and I think that's thedifference, dog, in the
pictures.
Now that you say, that's thedifference.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
It's like yeah, it was this like?
Speaker 2 (47:18):
there was like this, this like building drive.
Yeah, this like externallymotivated?
I can see it in my face, yeah,like dog.
If I look at that picture and Ihope the listeners I go on
Google it, because if you see mysenior, my senior picture, yeah
, there's a little smirk on yourface.
That's like dog, that, that isa.
That is a look of like.
(47:39):
I'll show.
Yep, yep, please doubt me.
Yeah, and I think that smirkcarried me through my PhD.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, man, yeah yeah yeah, yeah,yeah, phd, yeah.
And then you know like, itbecomes a more genuine smile.
(48:00):
You know what, like it's alwaysbeen there for me, because if
you look at the pictures, dog,I'm not not a single picture,
not a single one, not a singlepicture.
Man, yeah, but I think thatlike that, like my freshman
picture was like naive, you know, the bambi, bambi, man bambi
you could snap my legs with withlike a like a strong, a strong
(48:24):
embrace, you know, yeah.
And then, like sophomore year,I look confused, I was like it
ain't working.
These are men's out here.
It ain't working.
That's what coach becky came,yeah.
And in junior year, I was like,okay, I like I got, I like I
(48:45):
figured the formula out.
Yeah, I know what's going on, Ifigured it out, I know what's
going on, I figured it out, dog,I know what's going on, yeah.
And then senior year, man, yeah, it was that phase of like it
felt more distant.
Yeah, you know what it feltmore distant.
You know what it does feel moredistant, yeah, yeah, like
detached, detached, detached,exactly.
And so, like man, you know,detached exactly.
(49:08):
And so, like man, there's thishealthy balance, and don't we
got to wrap it up, man, but likethere's, there was this healthy
balance and I and I try to, Itry to have that balance, like
with my family.
It's like healthy balance ofdetachment, you know, like the
detachment of like.
Maybe I don't know ifdetachment is the word, maybe,
maybe it's presence, maybe it'spresence, but like this I do say
did you say presence?
(49:29):
Yeah, I say presence, yeah.
So did you say therapeutic?
How much do I owe you?
Is it a nickel?
Every time somebody sayspresence, 25 cents, 25 cents,
playboy.
Anytime somebody says they'repretty present, me and sherry
geller, yeah, all right man, uh,anyway, uh, yeah man.
So, yeah, all right man, anyway, yeah man.
So you know, you just yeah, it'sjust this like, this ideal of
(49:50):
like I want to be present withmy family right, and present
with my job and present with mystudents, and then present with
myself towards the tail end.
You know Well, yeah, it'sdifferent, man, because it's
like you know, and I thinkthat's what tenure meant, you
(50:12):
know.
It's like you know, I havetenure so I can say what I want.
Yeah, right, about the process,I knew I was going to get
tenure.
Sure, you know, absolutely, Iknew I was going to get tenure.
You write a book a year since2016 and you get tenure, but but
it's a real thing for people ofcolor?
Yeah, you know, I mean you, youknow, but especially at a PWI.
(50:34):
Yeah, but when you, when you Issomebody going to be a barrier
when you pay know, under thetable deals you know, come on
man yeah promising people parkplace.
(50:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not, butfor real.
Yeah, it's like, am I gonna?
And I was legitimately, eventhough you know I feel like I
just waiting back, just waitingfor I was waiting for the hey,
not this year.
Hey, you know, like I genuinelywas.
Hey, you know we got too muchapplicants for tenure this year,
so we're genuinely waiting forthat call.
And when I didn't, when Ididn't get it, I wasn't like I
(51:19):
don't know if I really likecelebrated it was.
It was more like if I, if Iwould have seen that senior
picture again, I would havetipped my cap.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Yeah, yeah, we made it.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, almost like a payment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like ahey, thank you.
Hey, that smirk, thank you.
Yeah, hey, that smirk, thankyou.
Yeah, all of that, all of thatwork that you put in, that smirk
that you have, I've repaid youby following through yeah
(51:55):
exactly, I repaid you byfollowing exactly, yeah, and,
and that's that's what it does,I think the external motivation,
I think turn inward and I wasjust trying to make like that
dude Right, like I was trying tomake him go, make this worth it
.
Yep, yep, you know, like, look,I got your body here, yeah, I
(52:15):
got your body here.
You 2% body fat.
You know, Yep, yeah, I mean with1145, you know, two milers
running a 530.
Yeah, I was my fastest miletime was 530.
Yeah, 535 after.
Yeah, like you know, body was,body was body.
(52:36):
Yeah, uh-huh, you know body wasglistening, you know, like baby
all right, calm down, you know,like yep, yep, yeah, it was, it
was, it was, yeah, boy, boy,you know, and it's almost like I
knew what I would have to do toget here.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
But I would have to put that body through.
Man.
Sometimes I ask my clients that, like if I told you what you
had to do to get where you wantto go, I don't know if you want
to do the things you need to doExactly.
I don't know if you want to cutthe people out that you need to
cut out.
I don't know if you'd want tostop doing the things that you
need to stop doing.
(53:13):
I don't think you want this.
Yeah, what you want is more ofwhat you're doing.
Yeah, yeah, obviously.
Or maybe you want permission.
Maybe you want me to say, like,abandon all hope.
All hope is lost.
Go ahead, and you know, keepdoing.
You're too far beyond myexpertise to help.
Like, keep keep acting this way.
(53:34):
You know, whatever, but, but.
But now the shift is different,right, well, because you know
why.
This is why I think this iswhat I think.
I think because when you werein that picture your senior year
, you weren't.
You weren't self-aware, likeyou weren't aware of the type of
person that you were in thatmoment.
Speaker 1 (53:56):
You you weren't aware of it right?
Speaker 2 (53:59):
I mean, you weren't either.
No, I'm just saying we weren'taware of it Now right now,
you're aware that, like this isa flagpole, this is like a
stopper, this is like a cone ina drill of your life.
The next time you're going tosee a picture of yourself in
(54:22):
that way is going to be whenyou're 52.
It's going to be when you're 52.
You're going to look back atyour 37-year-old self.
You're going to be like hey,man, you remember when you
didn't have your retirement setup and you were fighting for
your life financially and thekids were small and you were
changing diapers every day.
I got you here.
(54:42):
Yeah, I got you here, man,everybody's taken care of You're
taken care of.
You're healthy.
Wives have healthy Kids aregrown.
Kids are good, they're thriving.
They're in healthyrelationships with people.
Speaker 1 (54:56):
Yeah, man You're good .
Speaker 2 (54:59):
But I think that's the growth, you know, is, you
know that's not an externalmotivation, it's not, it's not
and it's also.
It also is like you can'tafford to have hangups and be
able to have that globalperspective.
You can't, man, you can't Likeone one, just clinically.
You can't afford to able tohave that global perspective.
You can't, man, you can't likeone one, just clinically.
(55:20):
You can't afford to havehang-ups clinically, right, yeah
, I mean sure, you can havehang-ups, as long as you're like
working through them.
You know, I'm talking about thehang ups that stop you from
that stuff.
Yeah, that, the hang-ups thatstop you from relating to people
, you know, yeah, that's that'sthe stuff you can't afford, you
know clinically.
But also like in yourrelationship with your kids and
(55:43):
your wife, you know, and theycan't afford to have those stuck
in the same ups, you know.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
So, yeah, Anyway, I didn't know that at the time you
know, and there's no way Icould know that.
Speaker 2 (55:53):
You know, yeah, but but yeah, it is, it's, it's
telling, I thought.
I think, just like in closing,I think every listener should do
that.
I may even do that this weekwith my clients.
Well, I don't go like, go andget a, you know, a, a 20 some
year old picture of yourselfyeah, man, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
Go get like a 15 year old picture of yourself.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
Yep, you know yeah, check it out, just see what, see
what you feel when you see it.
Yeah, you know I was that smirkon my face and maybe, maybe,
make it even, maybe, make iteven more poignant and say that
get a picture of yourself thatyou feel like represents who you
were in that moment.
You know, because, like dog,when I look at myself, it's not
(56:39):
anger that I see, it's not, it'slike pure determination.
You know, what I saw when Ilooked at your picture dog.
Speaker 1 (56:47):
What.
Speaker 2 (56:48):
Like enough's enough already, enough's enough, like
you know what I mean.
What does that have enough ofto you?
Just like?
Hey, man, like tell me how youfeel about me.
Yeah, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'mtired of trying to figure it
out because, guess what, I don'tlike you either.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was thatwas one of the.
(57:11):
I think you don't want me tostand where you don't want me to
stand.
I think in that okay, you don'thave the sun in my eye in that
in that moment I was like, oh, Idon't have to make people happy
.
Yeah, like I don't.
I don't have to like follow therules and you know of society,
and like make people happy, likeI don't have to do any of that
stuff.
Yeah, you know, yeah, bro, ohman, anyway, all right, man,
(57:34):
check out.
Check out real quick, like twominutes man, two minutes, what
you got up for the rest of theweek.
It's Monday.
I'm excited about thosemeetings with the publishers.
We got two publishing meetingstomorrow, semester's wrapping up
.
I got a great papers, but alsobaby Keon's starting school.
Speaker 1 (57:54):
When is he?
Speaker 2 (57:54):
starting In a couple weeks, I think sometime in
August.
Beginning of August.
Speaker 1 (58:00):
August 7th or something.
Speaker 2 (58:02):
I don't know Our school district.
They don't really haveannouncements like that.
The only reason why I knowwe're close to PTA members,
megan is on the advisory councilfor our kids' school, so like
that's the only reason why Iknow I wouldn't know either.
Yeah, yeah, but anyway, what amI looking for?
(58:26):
You got a Wednesday, wednesday.
You got that PGA tournament.
Yeah, but to be honest, man,like I just want to work out
tomorrow, that's it.
Yeah, work out tomorrow.
That's it.
Yeah, I just want to work outtomorrow like I don't want to
come up with any excuses or like, you know, a client getting in
the way, or like a kid gettingaway, or like, uh, you know, let
me answer this email.
(58:47):
Whatever, I just want to workout tomorrow, get a good workout
by myself and listen to themost thug, ratchet-ish hood
music ever.
I'm talking.
People probably look at me andthink I'm listening to classical
.
Speaker 1 (59:05):
Yeah, man.
Speaker 2 (59:06):
But I'm listening to that gutta grimy Because that's
where we was born and that's howI feel in the end.
That's where we was born,that's where we came out of.
Yeah, don't let the doctor foolyou yeah, just google earth.
(59:28):
opeluxes, louisiana, just googleit.
Anyway, man.
Alright, it's been the 20thElvis podcast.
We'll be back again next week,same time, same place.
Yeah, man, it was fun.
Anything to add you any finalcomments?
No, have a good weekend.
Hopefully the audio is not tootrashed where we can like.
Yeah, I know, man, I got a newmic.
(59:50):
I got everything.
Oh man, my internet flaked outand working.
Oh yeah, we'll see.
We may have to run this back.
All right, thank you.
Welcome back, welcome to the cast.
You know we've had like what,two of these episodes where we
have like a structured thing toit, you know, and it feels right
.
I don't know something in mybones that makes me feel
organized, you know, yeah.
I'm not saying, just for thelistener's sake.
(00:37):
I've been wanting to do thisfor man, listen, all right,
since the beginning.
I'm not saying you were alllike no, I just wanted to be
like an open conversation andlook at us, look at us, yeah.
But I want to go on record tosay that I did try to start this
thing last week and the veryfirst thing out of your mouth is
I got something to say and Iwas like does it fit in which
(00:57):
portion?
And you said I don't know.
Nah, but that's how it is, dog,like you know, like you do
anything, at least for me, right?
Like I need structure so that Ican fly.
So that I can fly Like.
I just want to know where theboundaries are.
I'll stay within them, uh-huh,just tell me where they are.
(01:18):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yeah, you know, all right.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Like.
So once you say like here'swhat we're doing, then great,
you know, I know what we'redoing.
Let me cook.
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yeah, I don't know the way you said, cook, you seem
a little maniacal anddiabolical.
But you know, whatever We'll gowith it.
You know we'll go with it.
Anyway, take, you got how it is.
Anyway, man, hey, we're goingto do a little bit of check-in,
we're going to have a little bitof top-peak and then we're
going to do a little check-out.
All right, you, man, what'sgoing on in your life?
(01:51):
Give the listener a littlecheck-in to what's happening, a
little window into yourexperiences.
Big dog, what's going on overthere?
I don't know, man.
I I just immediately got a textsaying that my dog pooped in
the house.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, it's a dumpster fire over there.
Dumpster fire, hey man.
And another thing, doc, likewhy are kids' footsteps so loud,
doc, so loud?
I just don't think that kidscare.
You know what I've done?
I've taken to wearing AirPodswith the noise canceling on in
(02:30):
the house, just to have a dateNothing's playing.
Just to have a date, nothing'splaying, no, not even to have a
date.
To survive, jt, to survive.
Like Roby's voice, it's'salmost like I don't know man
it's something.
It's something uh, it'ssomething uh biological where,
(02:50):
like you know that that, likenature has seen fit to see her
as, like a vulnerable creatureat this age, you know so they
give her this like eardrumpiercing screech where, like if
she's in danger you know, andshe has two brothers, so she's
in constant danger, constantdanger, you know yeah, and
(03:12):
sometimes she is the danger, sheis the one who knocks he is the
one who knocks when she's notknocking on doors, dog, she is
climbing over.
So for us to get away from bothof them, you know yeah, and
there's just like screech thatshe has.
That's like you know what.
Instead of like fussing to saythat, hey, keep it down, let me
put some noise cancellingheadphones on and everybody's
(03:32):
happy.
She's screaming.
You really do that, yeah, manwow, yeah, she's, she'll be
listening at all I mean, youknow ambient sound comes through
the airpods, but like I don't,I don't have to sit here and
like, like well that's, that'sborderline, neglectful man, I
mean, I don't call it what youwant.
Our parents used to leave us inthe van and go to go inside the
(03:56):
store in louisiana heat.
Man, I remember, I, I saw thisthing.
You remember waking up in apuddle of your own sweat
wondering where's mommy?
Yeah, no, I was, I was Okay.
So my neighborhood, you know,like you know the neighborhood
we live in, we have thiscommitment to have like a 90
summer, right, right, free range.
(04:16):
Yeah, you know, free range dog.
And and you remember, like whenwe were kids, like summertime,
like our parents didn't care,they didn't change their plans
for summer.
No, you know, it's not likethey worked around it, it's like
you just win.
You know, yeah, and that's how,that's how the summer is, man,
that's how the summer is, andit's hard.
(04:37):
I can see now why, like youknow, because my kids are
starting school in the fall.
Yeah, so I can see now whyparents are like, man, I can't
wait for school to start.
You know, I mean, I understoodit, you know, but it didn't like
touch my heart until, like youknow, and I love, I'd spend
every single day with my kids,but it's more like they need it.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah, you know, like I see it in his face.
I see it in his face.
I see it in his face.
No, no, no, you don't need it.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
They need it.
Yep, listen, man you havenothing to prove, man, you're a
good father.
To our eyes, to the listeners'eyes, you're a good father.
Man.
You can go ahead and let it fly, dude.
Let the listeners know you'retired of them.
Baby-ass kids, you're tired ofthem, you tired man.
I, I see in kian's face howhe's tired of us.
(05:27):
Oh yeah, oh no, no, no yeahlike yeah, you know I would I?
I would say that cairo is, orthe borderline of actually
saying it out loud like I'mtired of y'all.
Tired of y'all, I'm tired ofy'all.
I'm tired of y'all.
Tired of y'all, I'm tired ofy'all.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I'm tired of y'all fussing.
I'm tired of y'all.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I get it, I get it, dog, I get it.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
I absolutely get it.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Anyway, I'm doing good, man.
Yeah, other than that, clientsare doing good.
You know, I'm starting mysupervision practice up.
Got a couple of supervise youto the board about, yeah, I
can't wait.
Yeah, a new level ofvulnerability.
I'll be watching.
Hey, man, we got some goodprojects coming up.
(06:11):
You know, like some good dopeprojects.
We got a couple meetings.
You know we got that meeting.
We got two meetings tomorrow.
Yeah, man, you know, with ACAwere booked I need to cancel
some clients.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yeah, oh, you're not gonna be able to make it.
No, never make those, no, manyou always leave me in there.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Where's your brother?
I don't know, I don't know.
No, I feel him.
I come around, yeah, I comearound when the project's almost
done.
Yeah, yeah, put my name on thatthing.
I didn't say it, nah, but butuh, but yeah, I'm doing good.
What about you, man?
I don't really care.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
I don't really care.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Let's move on to the topics man, that's cool, I'm
used to it.
I'm used to nobody caring asthe official middle child of
this podcast, yeah.
I'm used to nobody caring,nobody gives any cares about my
failing ct.
You know, I'm, I'm over hereemoting in solitude, anyway,
(07:12):
anyway, you doing, you doing.
Okay, man, you ate today, I'm?
Hey, man, listen, I started anew workout plan, you know,
because you know what you like.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
I'm, I'm, I'm that is time I'm tired of going to
these gyms.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I'm tired of paying the gym fee.
Man.
I tried crossfit.
It was cool, but I ended upalways hurting like I'm I just
told.
I just told lindsey that I'mlike, I'm thinking about taking
a break every time I do everytime I do these crossfit
workouts, man, I am hurtingbecause, like man, everybody in
crossfit just everybody incrossfit is new to this.
(07:46):
They're new to it.
Man, like like new, new tobeing an athlete, new to being
an athlete, they're new to it.
Yeah, it feels that way.
It feels that way.
You get into the gym and it'slike you know people and when I
say athlete, I mean real athlete.
I don't know about to alienatea bunch of our audiences, but if
you ain't playing in college,you, you ain't a real athlete
man, you just not, oh my goshhey.
(08:07):
Hey, hate me if you want to.
Why you always be saying theseincendiary?
Things man Hate me if you wantto, I feel like you trying to,
but if you play for yourintramural college softball team
, you ain't an athlete.
I'm talking real athletes,softball team, you ain't an
(08:28):
athlete.
I'm talking real athletes.
Nah, man, I know I do.
Man like my hips hurt man, I'mlike, yeah and it's not like, oh
, I'm tired and I'm out of shape.
That those two things are true.
They are very much so true, butalso that isn't pain yeah, yeah
, like, yeah, I'm tired, I'mweird stuff I'm tired of
recuperating.
Yeah yeah, man, I hate that, Ihate that.
So anyway, I tried to do PlanetFitness.
That is a stratosphere beyondwhat.
(08:53):
I'm actually prepared for yougot people walking upside down.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
You got people in Planet playing fitness.
It's another planet people froma.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
If you a man, I know I'm getting a bunch I know I'm
gonna get a bunch of hate, man,I know it.
Man, I'm just like.
I walked in there I was like,hey, hey, big fella.
Hey, where's the free weights?
Oh, we don't have free weightsin there.
Okay, y'all have any plateslike above, I don't know 45.
(09:33):
Do you have like any free likebarbells?
No, no, we got the smithmachine.
I know, I see the smith machine.
You got any like like barbells,like olympic barbells?
No, we don't.
We don't do that here.
I was like okay, I thought youdid okay, so this is not for me
it's not a good fit, but I gotso much weights in like the shed
(09:55):
, you know, like legitimateweights man, so I'm like all
right cool, let me, let me, letme get uh, I think it's like I
don't like to say the name ofthe app because they're not
paying us, but it's an app,right, and it structures your
workout and you put all yourcategories in there your weight,
your height, all this stuff,man, and then I ticked the box.
They gave you four options.
Like you know, never done itbefore beginner, intermediate or
(10:18):
expert.
You know, I'm like, I'm anathlete, so let me click expert,
expert.
I'm an athlete, so let me clickexpert, expert.
You know what the workout wastoday?
What, like turning your bodyinside out.
Are you a superhero?
But this is a workout for you.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Flip your skin do you have undying?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
endurance.
Well, this is a workout for you.
Flip that skin, do some-upswith your liver.
It gave me a workout where Ihad to do six sets of eight reps
on a bench press of 270.
I said 270 to what Light weightit's hard to lift 270.
(11:05):
Every time I got to go to thebathroom.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I can't lift it off my chest.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Who is asking me to do this?
Who runs this app?
Who runs it?
I got 270 pounds worth of grief.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
That's the regret I carry every day 270.
This SSRI can't even lift 270.
I got 270 pounds of missedopportunities.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
This is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
That barb I felt like stood alone.
I was like, get me fromunderneath this.
I do not want this much weight.
So I said 270, lightweight, andthey put it on the rack.
Then we just lift it up.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
No spider, no spider.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I am alone.
I have a neighbor who is 70years old.
I had to yell for help Underthat thing like yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But as soon as I was about tostart working out, man Megan
came with the kids.
The kids jumped out, kyrajumped out.
He's like Thank you, thank youno, no, no no no, he's like
(12:29):
thank you, no, no, no, no, he'slike groby daddy's about to do
work.
I'ma sit right here and watchhim, watch him ask that work.
So I'm looking at him like, oh,I got to lift this weight.
Yeah, man, I lift, I lifted it.
Uh, there are no words, jt, yousaw your life?
(12:50):
Yeah, there are no words, man,it was heavy.
Yeah, yeah, it was heavy.
Yeah, what started all this?
What made you say like today isthe day?
today is the day, man, I wasjust like I'm like uh, there was
this thing, maybe I know youknow what.
No, so this is what started it.
(13:13):
I talked to my, to a supervisor,so I'll just like you, I'm
trying to get the, thesupervision, like like they,
convinced me to get thesupervision thing you told me
this yeah, man, and like I don'tknow if I mentioned this to the
cast and I won't say her nameout loud, but like I had a
supervisor and in louisiana yougot to get like, uh, your old
supervisor to like sign up forthe paper, right?
So I talked with her and it andI left.
(13:34):
Uh, she didn't pick up and thevoicemail was basically like hey
, I gotta, I gotta quote, I gotto close my practice down.
But if you need to contact me,here's the, the so-and-so and
so-and-so.
I was like whoa, she has toclose her practice down.
So I called her cell phonenumber.
She picked up and we had like along talk.
She had some like medicalissues, like just from like
(13:55):
compiled stress over time, yeah,you know, with like trying to
build a business, trying toraise a family.
Yeah, man, and so she.
We just had a long talk, youknow, and she was like you're
probably overworked, you know.
She's like how often are yousleeping?
I was like I may get like fourhours of sleep.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
You know I may get four hours of sleep you know
she's like what time did you goto sleep last night?
I?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
was like four o'clock , you know yeah, that's crazy,
yeah, man.
Yeah, it's crazy, yeah, dog,because like just doing an
inventory of my life you know,yeah, that that send now button,
oh, that send later button onemail, yeah, it's a, it's a
godsend, but like you shouldn'thave to use it, you know like
(14:40):
you shouldn't.
Like when it like I was talkingto like we have an executive
dean you know who's like overour college, you know, and uh, I
was talking to him and I waslike how do you answer all the
emails?
yeah yeah, like, how do you?
You know what I mean, how doyou attend to all of the stuff?
All of the stuff?
You know what I mean, like youknow it's, it's.
There's so much stuff and I'mnot saying like I'm a busy boy,
(15:04):
like I you know, yeah, it'simplied no, and I'm not even
saying that.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I'm that important, you know no, it's just all of
this, it's just attending, it'sjust like things, attending to
all of these things.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You know like so many different levels.
Yeah, man, you know dog, it'slike, yep, it really is like
like dog.
If you're not gonna stay uptill 4 am, then like how can you
possibly stay ahead?
How can you?
Yeah, and then, and then peoplestart to feel like you're not
paying attention to them, you'renot attentive exactly you know
like stuff starts to slip downinto the back burner.
(15:37):
You know it's hard to keep upwith with all this stuff, so
anyway, anyway.
So like, yeah, I just you knowI'm not on this whole like I'm
putting me first thing, you know, but like, yeah, man, part of
it is like, all right, man, Ineed to like, really pay
attention to, like you know, Ineed to pay attention to like
what makes me feel, uh, likewhole, you know, and like
(15:59):
working out by myself doing aworkout that, like I know what
I'm doing, like the progressionof, like man, of a, of a push
pull day, you know, or like of aleg day, or like you know, like
I know what I'm doing when itcomes to like bench pressing, I
know what I'm doing.
When it comes to like you know,like ink liper, whatever all
those things, like I know whatI'm doing.
(16:20):
I don't need somebody to like,I don't need to pay somebody to
say, hey, you're doing it thisway, you're doing it that way.
You know it's years and yearsand years and years and years of
working out.
You know, man, I just had ayeah, I just I've never felt
more connected to myself thanyou know when my left air pod
died, uh, and I can hear myheartbeat and breathing, you
(16:43):
know, and I'm like working outby myself under the garage.
You know, yeah, and yourheartbeat is just like no, yeah,
my heartbeat was oh, jesus,cossip, yes, why are you doing
this to us?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
What did I do to you?
I have just been beating.
I'm supposed to be the onebeating the blood.
Why are you beating me?
I hate it in here.
Please, Mr.
When did it get so hot?
I want to get out.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
He hates us.
He hates us yeah.
My lungs were like he hates usyeah.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
He hates us.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It's cool, but it's easy.
And we do this, doc.
You know, like, like, if thelistener of you followed our
career, like, you know that wedo keynote speeches on self-care
.
You've probably heard it.
Yeah, yeah and uh, you know, wewrote the book, literally wrote
the book on council ofself-care.
Yeah, hey, man, it's hard, man,it's hard, it's hard man
because, you, you do you like,you have these seasons of your
(17:53):
life where you lose focus, youlose focus, man yeah, you do.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
It's not that you lose yourself, you know it's
that like.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
It's that like things get out of hand.
Yeah, you know things get outof hand, yeah, yeah, you know
it's like.
It's like the and then thecurrent starts yeah, and you
know what I mean.
But hey, man, not just that man, carl's getting older and that
car was seven years old, turningeight years old this year.
He's into like sports and stuff.
So like man, I'm out there.
(18:22):
He's like he has a legitimatequestion.
Daddy, how do you do theseplyometric ladders?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
like I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Let me show you, let me rip my Achilles.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah, man.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
And there's a real part of me that's like I don't
know if I could do it or shouldI do it.
I could do it or should I do it.
I could do it, but it's notgoing to be the way that I, you
know.
So, like man before when wewere like 20, 21, 22, 23, while
I'm working out for like thegames I mean the games and now
(18:56):
I'm working out for like dogbalance, I don't want to fall
down.
Yeah, a one fall.
(19:23):
I don't want to fall down, man,at one fall at this.
Man, I'm trying to.
I just want to be able to likeshuffle.
I want to play basketball, man,like I want to.
You know, like I can do yardwork, play basketball, all that
stuff.
You know.
Amen, to give me your hardestcrossfit workout now.
I'll finish it and ain't gonnabe on time and it's gonna be
scaled, but I'll finish it.
So I'm not saying I'm not anathlete, it's just sometimes it
(19:44):
doesn't feel like it's harder tobe an athlete.
It's harder to be an athlete.
It's harder to be an athleteman, especially the athlete that
I want to be.
Yeah, Because we have a uniqueperspective where we had an
opportunity to see and to feelour bodies at its
tippity-top-ish shape,tippity-top, tippity-top-ish
shape, doing unhuman stuff,unhuman stuff.
(20:07):
Yeah, where you want me to runthe Congo?
Where you want me to run theCongo, when you want me to start
Kuwait?
Like I got a meeting at 530.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Can I?
I'll be back.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
When do I need to be back?
Yeah, I'll run Wherever.
Yeah, yeah, man, but that, butthat stuff, like you know,
obviously you know the reader, Imean the listeners don't know
this, but Jesus and I stumbledupon or Jesus stumbled upon some
old pictures.
Yeah, man, let's get into thetopic.
Let's get into the topic, man,let's get into the topic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(20:48):
So so, all right, all right.
(21:15):
So I stumbled upon somepictures, man, I listen.
I was in the group, I was doinggroup therapy and we were
talking about some random stuffand somebody said, yeah, I
wonder if you, like, have, hasanybody googled themselves?
You know, I lied and I said, no, I didn't.
But you know, your boy's vain,you google.
Yeah, your boy's vain, you do,I'm not even every day.
Yeah, your boy's vain.
So, yeah, I googled just tocheck.
(21:36):
Do I have google alerts likeyou do?
no, I don't, you know I don'tyeah yeah, but you know, so I I
googled myself and I found thislike this athletic picture, this
picture, like this uh, this, uhplayer picture, like this
player picture and like theroster picture from the
university that they wereplaying for.
I was like whoa, what is thisdoing here?
(21:57):
Somebody must have beentinkering around with the
website.
Man, I was like whoa, it wasfrom 2008?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
2008,.
I'm senior year.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
If you see the history it'll go like 2005.
I know, I saw, I know, I saw,so I so I collect, like I click
history and they gave me, uhlike four pictures of freshman
year college, sophomore yearcollege, junior college, senior
college.
You know, and like I can justsee the shift in, like my
(22:28):
attitude, my confidence like mybody, my hair, all of that stuff
, and it just I was spinningdown memory lane, man Spinning,
and like for the listeners, likeyou can for sure go online like
google us and look at you.
(22:49):
Gotta go down a little bit butyou'll see like you see a
picture of us like in, in, likea uniform soccer uniform, yeah
soccer uniform yeah and you cansee the progression.
Yeah, you know, but yeah, man,yeah, man, yeah, yeah, so so it
made me think of, like you know,some of the things that
personally led us to where weare now, just as fathers, but,
(23:16):
more importantly, as clinicians,as authors and speakers.
You know what I think, doug,when I first saw that I was in
class, right.
Yeah, I know speakers.
You know what I think, likewhen I first saw that I was in
class, right.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah, I figured you were.
I figured you were.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Yeah, we were taking a break, and when I'm in class
and I'm teaching that big long,you know stretch, I don't know
what's going on in the world.
And so when we take a break, Ilook down.
I saw the pictures and I waslike wow, you know what.
(24:03):
The first thing I thought aboutwas man, like um, you know,
like the hustle changed.
You know what you mean.
The focus, the focus of thehustle changed.
When you know, like dog when wewere in college, you know, like
you know, freshman, sophomore,junior, especially junior that
summer.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Yeah, you remember that summer, dog, I do that was.
Yeah, that summer.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Summer, before summer , after junior year, going into
senior year, going into senioryear.
Yeah, man, we ate barbells yeah.
That's it.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
That's all we did yeah, protein and All we did
yeah, protein and I mean it?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
was.
It was intense, dog.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
You know it was the hardest.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I've ever worked out in my life.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, and honestly, dog, it wasn't even because we
wanted to be in shape for soccer.
No, oh, it wasn't.
No, huh, not for me.
Oh, what was it for you?
Um, I just wanted a six-pack.
Nah, it was.
Uh, it was, it was because Ididn't talk hey, real, quick,
(24:57):
real quick.
You know.
No, you know that scene in uh,like avengers, when, uh, I don't
want to like butcher the namesof the people, but like you know
when, like you work really hardfor something and you know you
get to the end goal and you'relike, was it, was it worth it?
You know, would you have torisk to get there?
Like that's what, that's whathaving a six pack is like.
Like was it, was it worth it?
(25:19):
You're at like eight percentbody fat and you have nobody
around.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Remember that.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
It was like what two weeks, two weeks?
We had that six pack.
No you.
Like what?
Two weeks, two weeks?
We had that six pack, no youknow, no, no I I was fleeting, I
was, I was in, and out.
Yeah, man I I remember youcouldn't tell me nothing.
I was dehydrated you know Icouldn't um like remember a lot
it was disoriented I don't thinkI did do too good in school,
(25:44):
yeah, you know, but hey, yeahmegan almost broke up with me
clothes yeah, I almost lost therelationship, yeah, but uh, but
anyway, anyway, um, yeah, Ithought my first thought was
like was like man, I wish Icould go back to you, know, but
oh, really, yeah.
but then the more I thoughtabout it, the more I was like,
(26:04):
nah, hell, we, we didn't, wedidn't have anything.
I feel like my life is so muchmore fuller now.
Sure, you know what I mean.
Yeah, like back then it feltlike one dimensional, but I
didn't know that back then.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Right, you know what I mean I didn't know that back
then and obviously, like I don'tthink I'm smarter, I just think
I know more stuff.
Yeah well, yeah, no, you knowwhat I mean.
No, but I think that's through,like you know.
Obviously that's through thatlife experience you know like
you're going to get.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
And I don't have as much like hang-ups.
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
I think, that's it.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
That's the thing.
There's so much less things.
That's the thing In the way of,like my psychological
experience and reality.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
(27:05):
Oh, yeah, you know, like Ithink at that age, like you know
, even like junior, senior year,you know it's like I'm living
life, but there's this screen inbetween, like me and the world.
You know, like we're like, asI'm moving through the world,
things are coming through thatscreen and then into my
(27:26):
existence.
Yeah, you know, and now thescreen doesn't feel so cloudy
yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, oh yeah, things.
Things just happen and I'm andI'm able to experience them
emotionally in real time.
So, dog, do you think that,like I don't know the screen
(27:50):
that you were talking about,right?
Like, do you think that's dueto like I don't know, man
anything that you intentionallydid, or was it something that
was like you experienced?
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Does that?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
make sense.
What do you mean?
Like, so, like, like I did.
I wasn't using drugs oranything.
No, man, no, I'm saying youknow, no, I'm saying like all
right, all right, you don't haveto try to convince us, man, you
don't?
I'm just saying I said no Okay,okay, okay, yeah, I dare to say
Okay, all right, okay, yeah, Idare to say no, right, we
believe you.
Yes, yeah, we believe you.
(28:32):
Uh-huh, I did Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
We all did no.
No, you're saying it like I'veused.
Yeah, don't say it like that.
We all said no.
Yeah, I put we did.
Say no, we did what.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
What did you say?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yeah, we all said no G Yep.
Nah man, like all right.
So like all right, sure, sure.
When I looked at those picturesright, it's like all right, so
like all right, Sure, sure.
When I looked at those pictures, right, it's like all right.
2005,.
The picture from 2005 to 2006.
In that time, between 2005 and2006, I broke up with what I
(29:21):
thought at the time was the loveof my life, the person that I
had been dating for six monthsand two days and thought they
was going to be my forever wife,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Forever.
Why wouldn't we get married?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I know for sure.
Listen, I've lived 18 years oflife and I know this is the
person for me.
How many people have you tried?
None.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
This is it.
This is the first girl thattalked to me.
This is it, and she's the one.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
This is it for me, I'm done.
I found her, yeah One and doneyeah man Batting a thousand.
Oh yeah, man, yeah, I'm savingup for the engagement right now,
Right now, right now.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
You got a job?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
No, but I'm collecting all kinds of coins
and cans.
I think I'm going to use mystipend from my scholarship from
my scholarship.
I think I may use that too.
I don't need books.
I'm going to get cans.
I'm going to get pecans, Idon't need books.
Yeah, man, there was noOnlyFans back then, man, we had
to get it how we had to live.
Anyway, man, also, we went frombeing top dogs in high school
(30:26):
to being like oh, this is agrown man.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Oh, this senior is 28 years old ex-military.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
But what did you mean ?
What did you mean when you saidlike so, like there was
something I did?
Those things were like yeah, weexperienced, we experienced a
breakup.
We experienced what it was liketo like be an athlete and be a
and go back down to being afreshman again.
You know, we experienced it.
But then there was some otherthings that we did that was like
really intentional, you know,like uh, like make friends with
(30:54):
joe, you know, and like reallylike shout out to joe, we need
to, we need to bring joe I'vebeen joining the cast man, yeah,
but like, really like, reallylike, stoked that friendship,
you know, and like it reallyclicked and like it was, it was
dope man and without Joe wewouldn't have had the college
experience that we had.
We wouldn't be the same people,we wouldn't even be the same
people.
We wouldn't be the same people.
(31:15):
Exactly, that's 100% true, 100%, 100% true.
So that's what I mean.
I guess it's a combination ofboth, but like.
But.
At the time I wasn't thinking.
I wasn't thinking oh yeah,these are the things that I'm
going to need in the future tobe able to, like, wipe that
(31:36):
glass clean or to where I cansee through the glass or
whatever, right?
No, but there were signs, whatyou mean?
There were signs, like you know, like, like there were signs
that the glass, there were signsthat the screen was getting
clearer.
Like there were signs.
You mean like in the picturesor you mean like in life in
general, in the pictures,because in the pictures, for
(31:57):
sure, in the pictures, like look, if you go through and look at
our faces.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you look at June's- junior year
face.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Junior year face the transition from junior year face
to senior year face.
I was an absolute men's senioryear.
Yeah yeah, there was less hard,done by-ness.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
You have to prove yourself.
Yeah, less of that.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Less of this feeling of like, um, they have to get me
yeah but you know what?
though you know what.
You know, what came up for me,like through the pictures, was
that like, how much of a uh,like a wave.
It was like in the sense oflike up and down.
You know, like you go, you'redown, you're a freshman, then,
(32:50):
like you get to junior year andthen you're a senior and you're
like, oh, I don't have anythingto prove like that.
You know, I'm trying to buildthis team, I'm trying to create
this leadership dynamic to whereI like the next generation of
athletes can come through andwhatever, whatever, whatever,
right, I'm moving on to likegraduate school, whatever.
And then you get to graduateschool and you don't know
nothing, like you think you knowstuff, but then you really you
(33:12):
quickly find out when you're inyour first therapy session your
first mock therapy session it'sthe process all over again.
And then there, here comes thesneaking suspicion of like I
don't know what I'm doing, am Igood enough?
Well, I, you know.
I have to prove myself to myprofessors that I'm good enough.
You know, yeah, dog, but youknow what that summer was?
In between junior and senioryear, I was lifting way too much
(33:37):
weight and taking way too muchpre-workout supplements.
Nah, but you know what it was,dog?
It was like our therapy.
What do you mean?
It was like Like it was therapyfor us, or it was foundational
to who we are as therapists.
I think it was therapy for usand also foundational, okay, you
know.
Yeah, like dog this goes backto what you said last week you
(34:00):
know, like, like, how, like youknow, sometimes you just gotta
be uncomfortable.
Yep, yeah, bro, you know what Imean.
Like some, like doc, sometimesyou gotta go find the solution
in the dirt.
Yeah, you know, like you can't,you're not gonna find it in the
therapy office, you're notgonna find it in.
(34:20):
You know a group, you're notgonna find it in.
You know what I mean.
Like sometimes you know thosethings can help and they're
supportive and yada, yada, yada.
But, sometimes, dog, you justgot to go put yourself in a
place that tests your mettle.
You know, yeah, and I think,honestly, like you know, and
this goes back to like, thisgoes back to like, you know, our
(34:42):
coach, you know which one?
I'm probably going to Google itCoach Bankhead, oh, bankhead,
yeah, who probably gonna googlein?
Of course, bankhead.
Oh, you know, dog, who's aabsolute amazing coach.
Uh, I mean, I didn't reallylike the arkansas.
I didn't make this run.
I'm a little bit cross that wehad to run for 45 minutes
because of the freshman, butyeah but you know what dog, like
part of the screen, was like,making him a symbolic object.
(35:06):
You know, like sophomore andjunior year, you know of like he
symbolizes what you don't like?
Oh yeah, you know, but there's,there are dark.
If you think about it, thereare several symbols like that.
Right, absolutely several.
So that's the screen.
Uh-huh, that's the screen.
So it's like it's like that.
It's like I mean, I don't knowif we had that screen.
Well, I think there was like,uh, maybe maybe there was that
(35:31):
in our master's program.
Not so much, our master'sprogram was really healthy, you
know.
But wait, but hold on, hold on,hold on, let me, let me, let me
finish.
Yeah, go ahead.
So like so, like that, that'sthat junior senior year, like
that, that summer, yep dog, thatwas like like because we didn't
talk about stuff in the gym, wedidn't, we weren't processing
(35:53):
stuff, didn't?
We have our own headphones on.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
We had our own headphones on.
It was just me, and you YepLike healing.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Yeah.
Oh my God man.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
This is the first time I actually recognized that
as like oh, that was healingyeah.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Yeah, we broke down so much muscle fibers and that.
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Myosins are myosins.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I didn't realize how.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
We came back, ran two miles in another 12 minutes
without batting an eye.
But not just that, it was like,yeah, it was noticeable, it was
noticeable, yeah, it wasnoticeable, and it wasn't like
we were trying to do it.
That was the healthiest, Ithink, mentally.
You could see it.
I look at that picture and Ilook at my face and I'm like,
(36:39):
yeah, yeah, yeah, you could seeit that this no longer matters
to me in the same way it did.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you know what Imean.
Like this has become a crucibleand that's all this is yeah
yeah, you know it's.
It's a place that shapes me andholds me, yeah, and I can change
(37:00):
and grow in it, but it's not mylife.
Well, I wish that.
I wish that any.
I wish that everyone could viewlife through that lens.
It's hard to.
It's hard to when you're notgetting the playing time.
You think you should get whereyou feel like you're old,
(37:21):
something that you're notgetting.
You know and you don'tunderstand.
You're working hard.
You don't understand what'sgoing on.
You know and like you don't, youdon't get it, you know, and
like, yeah, man, to sit back andbe like, oh, this isn't even
really about soccer, yeah, likethis really isn't even about
being a starter on the team.
(37:42):
You know, like this is aboutlike self-definition, yeah, and
even beyond that, or not beyondthat, like adjacent to it, is
the idea that, like you know,this is the process that I'll
(38:02):
need to replicate whenever I'mstruggling.
You know, you know, wheneverI'm hurting and I'm not saying
like, I'm not saying like every,every experience you have, now
you need to hit the mattressesand you know the weight, right,
right I'm saying like it won'thelp.
I mean it won't hurt.
It won't hurt for sure, forsure, but anyway, I think that's
(38:32):
what I'm trying to.
That's what I'm trying to,that's what I'm trying to get
clients to see.
You know, I think it.
I think that was like afoundational piece of our
experience when it comes to,like, the shaping of myself as a
therapist, you know, is thatlike dog, it don't matter how
much pretty therapy cycle?
Yeah, you know, language doc,sometimes, sometimes you gotta
sit in front of the pain andsquat it.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Yeah, man, you know what I mean.
And clean it, yeah, and tripleextend, yeah, you know what I
mean.
Dog, yeah, like you got tosnatch that thing.
Yeah, you know, and I'm nottrying to be like dismissive or
run through it or run through itor walk through it.
Yeah, run through it Like doc.
Sometimes you got to push yourbody to the absolute brink and
(39:14):
then take one more step.
That's what we've been doing,though Just to know that you
came.
Hey, you know what I mean.
Now, does that mean at the riskof your own health?
Well, here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
It's not right, but it's fair.
Thank you, no, here it is.
(40:41):
Here's what it is, doc.
Here's what it is okay.
2000, 2005, healthy yeah, it'snot the same as 2006 healthy,
it's not.
You know.
2007, not the same.
2008, not the same.
But, dog, like I could, I, Ididn't know what was on the
other side of what I thoughthealthy was until I ran through
(41:05):
it.
I think, yeah, do you know whatI?
mean like, do you feel likeyou're at that place now in your
life, or do you feel likeyou're on the other side, like
we do you?
Feel like in some, in some ways, in some ways, yeah, you know,
yeah, like, in some ways, like,like, like getting, like getting
tenure was like you know, itwas like symbolized, like, okay,
(41:32):
you know, like this is, this isI don't know like evidence of
you know, evidence of what Idon't know, I don't really know,
man Like evidence I've been,I've been watching've been
watching dog and and on this, ona serious tip like you ain't
(41:52):
posted that you got tenure, likeyou ain't I didn't tell you
ain't telling nobody, you didn'tmake it, but that's what I'm
saying that's what I'm saying.
It wasn't.
It wasn't like that, it wasn'teven for other people, I think
it was more for me.
Yeah, yeah, you know that, likeyou know, and this gets into
some you know, like kind ofcultural things as well, you
(42:12):
know, but like this idea thatlike um, I don't know that, like
that, it's um, it's like, notthat you can't take it away from
me, you know, but I think forme it was like, oh yeah, like
(42:33):
I've, I can play this game.
Yeah, you know, cause it's agame.
Well, well, you know, and notjust the game of academia.
I mean, it's like the game.
I talked to somebody today aboutthat, you know, and they were
kind of, they were talking aboutlike their experience in a doc
program and feelingdiscriminated against, and I
don't want to make the castabout that, but you know, you
(42:55):
know and and how they're likeconfronting the person here and
I'm checking out and I'misolating, you know, and that's
just all I have to do to get youknow.
I'm like that's not, that's notit I have to do to get you know
and I'm like doc, that's not,that's not it.
Yeah, that's not it, you know,and I think, like in that that
junior senior summer we had thatoption.
We did have that option.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
We had that option to just go.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
I'm going to capitulate.
Yeah, I'm going to take care ofmyself.
I'm going to do such and such,or I'm going to transfer schools
and I'm gonna I'm gonnatransfer schools.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
Yeah, I'm gonna go where I know they want me.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
I don't even think coach knows, every single summer
, every summer we were beingrecruited, every summer, yeah,
you know, so, duck, so manywhispers are like you know he
ain't gonna play y'all.
Yeah, you know he's not gonnaplay y'all.
Come over here, man, like wegive you a full ride scholarship
.
Yeah, you know, like just allof the, all of the stuff that
now, yeah, you know, is okay todo from schools that were
(43:50):
winning championships, that werewinning championships, yeah,
uh-huh, you know, but we stayedthere.
Yeah, you know, you know what Imean.
And, yeah, and you know, noregrets or anything, but I, oh,
I definitely don't do not regretthat.
Yeah, you know, you know, butbut anyway, yeah, that's the
(44:13):
stuff.
I feel like that mentality iswhat I try to tell clients.
Yeah, but I think I think it's.
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
If you want to translate it tolike you know therapy and like
what you do in the therapy room,yeah, you know, like.
(44:35):
Sure, it can translate to to um, to clients, you know.
But I also think that, like,more personally, you know to
like have that idea of like whatI need, you know, like, what do
I need, like when I'm feelinguh like off center.
Usually in my life it's alwaysbeen because of an entity
external.
For myself, it's usually beenbecause like, oh, a soccer coach
or a team I didn't make, aprofessional team I didn't make.
(44:58):
Or oh, I made a professionalteam and oh, we got traded, or
like a breakup or whatever, aclass or something, yeah, but I
think I think nowadays, justlike you were saying, with like
the whole tenure thing, a lot ofthis stuff is like self-driven,
you know so, like the idea oflike, the idea of like, no, I
(45:22):
I'm not trying to publish thesebooks because, you know, I'm
trying to compete with you know,uh, gerald Corey, or you know
that's so true.
You know, now I'm publishingthese books because, like, I
need to prove it to myself that,like I can like build a name
for myself in the field and alsoI can like carve out my own
(45:44):
existence within this field.
Like my voice matters not tothe reader, not to the listener,
but to myself.
I am 100%, genuinely myselfwhen we're writing these books,
and I did that at the detrimentof my own health, because it was
worth it to me.
It was worth it me, like it wasworth it now now, like now,
(46:15):
working that hard makes no senseto me, not because, not because
it was idiotic or it was, youknow I shouldn't have done it.
It makes no sense to me nowbecause of the state that my
life is in.
You know, yeah, I don't want todo that, you know.
So, like, all right if I'm goingto enter into this next phase
of life, then, like what, whathas always been present every
time I've like, entered into thelike a next phase of life, you
know, and it's always been likethis crucible that you talked
(46:38):
about Weights, weights, weights.
I need to feel something heavyon my chest, and I'm not talking
about burpees and box jumpswith a coach like, oh yeah, good
job in the background.
No, I mean isolation alone,headphones by myself, only my
(47:00):
thoughts, only my breathing.
The reflective grind Exactlyman, oh my God.
Reflective grind exactly man,oh my god.
But dog, dog, you hit.
You hit the nail in the in thehair when you said like, like,
you know, and I think that's thedifference, dog, in the
pictures.
Now that you say, that's thedifference.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
It's like yeah, it was this like?
Speaker 2 (47:18):
there was like this, this like building drive.
Yeah, this like externallymotivated?
I can see it in my face, yeah,like dog.
If I look at that picture and Ihope the listeners I go on
Google it, because if you see mysenior, my senior picture, yeah
, there's a little smirk on yourface.
That's like dog, that, that isa.
That is a look of like.
(47:39):
I'll show.
Yep, yep, please doubt me.
Yeah, and I think that smirkcarried me through my PhD.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, man, yeah yeah yeah, yeah,yeah, phd, yeah.
And then you know like, itbecomes a more genuine smile.
(48:00):
You know what, like it's alwaysbeen there for me, because if
you look at the pictures, dog,I'm not not a single picture,
not a single one, not a singlepicture.
Man, yeah, but I think thatlike that, like my freshman
picture was like naive, you know, the bambi, bambi, man bambi
you could snap my legs with withlike a like a strong, a strong
(48:24):
embrace, you know, yeah.
And then, like sophomore year,I look confused, I was like it
ain't working.
These are men's out here.
It ain't working.
That's what coach becky came,yeah.
And in junior year, I was like,okay, I like I got, I like I
(48:45):
figured the formula out.
Yeah, I know what's going on, Ifigured it out, I know what's
going on, I figured it out, dog,I know what's going on, yeah.
And then senior year, man, yeah, it was that phase of like it
felt more distant.
Yeah, you know what it feltmore distant.
You know what it does feel moredistant, yeah, yeah, like
detached, detached, detached,exactly.
And so, like man, you know,detached exactly.
(49:08):
And so, like man, there's thishealthy balance, and don't we
got to wrap it up, man, but likethere's, there was this healthy
balance and I and I try to, Itry to have that balance, like
with my family.
It's like healthy balance ofdetachment, you know, like the
detachment of like.
Maybe I don't know ifdetachment is the word, maybe,
maybe it's presence, maybe it'spresence, but like this I do say
did you say presence?
(49:29):
Yeah, I say presence, yeah.
So did you say therapeutic?
How much do I owe you?
Is it a nickel?
Every time somebody sayspresence, 25 cents, 25 cents,
playboy.
Anytime somebody says they'repretty present, me and sherry
geller, yeah, all right man, uh,anyway, uh, yeah man.
So, yeah, all right man, anyway, yeah man.
So you know, you just yeah, it'sjust this like, this ideal of
(49:50):
like I want to be present withmy family right, and present
with my job and present with mystudents, and then present with
myself towards the tail end.
You know Well, yeah, it'sdifferent, man, because it's
like you know, and I thinkthat's what tenure meant, you
(50:12):
know.
It's like you know, I havetenure so I can say what I want.
Yeah, right, about the process,I knew I was going to get
tenure.
Sure, you know, absolutely, Iknew I was going to get tenure.
You write a book a year since2016 and you get tenure, but but
it's a real thing for people ofcolor?
Yeah, you know, I mean you, youknow, but especially at a PWI.
(50:34):
Yeah, but when you, when you Issomebody going to be a barrier
when you pay know, under thetable deals you know, come on
man yeah promising people parkplace.
(50:55):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but not, butfor real.
Yeah, it's like, am I gonna?
And I was legitimately, eventhough you know I feel like I
just waiting back, just waitingfor I was waiting for the hey,
not this year.
Hey, you know, like I genuinelywas.
Hey, you know we got too muchapplicants for tenure this year,
so we're genuinely waiting forthat call.
And when I didn't, when Ididn't get it, I wasn't like I
(51:19):
don't know if I really likecelebrated it was.
It was more like if I, if Iwould have seen that senior
picture again, I would havetipped my cap.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
Yeah, yeah, we made it.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, almost like a payment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like ahey, thank you.
Hey, that smirk, thank you.
Yeah, hey, that smirk, thankyou.
Yeah, all of that, all of thatwork that you put in, that smirk
that you have, I've repaid youby following through yeah
(51:55):
exactly, I repaid you byfollowing exactly, yeah, and,
and that's that's what it does,I think the external motivation,
I think turn inward and I wasjust trying to make like that
dude Right, like I was trying tomake him go, make this worth it
.
Yep, yep, you know, like, look,I got your body here, yeah, I
(52:15):
got your body here.
You 2% body fat.
You know, Yep, yeah, I mean with1145, you know, two milers
running a 530.
Yeah, I was my fastest miletime was 530.
Yeah, 535 after.
Yeah, like you know, body was,body was body.
(52:36):
Yeah, uh-huh, you know body wasglistening, you know, like baby
all right, calm down, you know,like yep, yep, yeah, it was, it
was, it was, yeah, boy, boy,you know, and it's almost like I
knew what I would have to do toget here.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
But I would have to put that body through.
Man.
Sometimes I ask my clients that, like if I told you what you
had to do to get where you wantto go, I don't know if you want
to do the things you need to doExactly.
I don't know if you want to cutthe people out that you need to
cut out.
I don't know if you'd want tostop doing the things that you
need to stop doing.
(53:13):
I don't think you want this.
Yeah, what you want is more ofwhat you're doing.
Yeah, yeah, obviously.
Or maybe you want permission.
Maybe you want me to say, like,abandon all hope.
All hope is lost.
Go ahead, and you know, keepdoing.
You're too far beyond myexpertise to help.
Like, keep keep acting this way.
(53:34):
You know, whatever, but, but.
But now the shift is different,right, well, because you know
why.
This is why I think this iswhat I think.
I think because when you werein that picture your senior year
, you weren't.
You weren't self-aware, likeyou weren't aware of the type of
person that you were in thatmoment.
Speaker 1 (53:56):
You you weren't aware of it right?
Speaker 2 (53:59):
I mean, you weren't either.
No, I'm just saying we weren'taware of it Now right now,
you're aware that, like this isa flagpole, this is like a
stopper, this is like a cone ina drill of your life.
The next time you're going tosee a picture of yourself in
(54:22):
that way is going to be whenyou're 52.
It's going to be when you're 52.
You're going to look back atyour 37-year-old self.
You're going to be like hey,man, you remember when you
didn't have your retirement setup and you were fighting for
your life financially and thekids were small and you were
changing diapers every day.
I got you here.
(54:42):
Yeah, I got you here, man,everybody's taken care of You're
taken care of.
You're healthy.
Wives have healthy Kids aregrown.
Kids are good, they're thriving.
They're in healthyrelationships with people.
Speaker 1 (54:56):
Yeah, man You're good .
Speaker 2 (54:59):
But I think that's the growth, you know, is, you
know that's not an externalmotivation, it's not, it's not
and it's also.
It also is like you can'tafford to have hangups and be
able to have that globalperspective.
You can't, man, you can't Likeone one, just clinically.
You can't afford to able tohave that global perspective.
You can't, man, you can't likeone one, just clinically.
(55:20):
You can't afford to havehang-ups clinically, right, yeah
, I mean sure, you can havehang-ups, as long as you're like
working through them.
You know, I'm talking about thehang ups that stop you from
that stuff.
Yeah, that, the hang-ups thatstop you from relating to people
, you know, yeah, that's that'sthe stuff you can't afford, you
know clinically.
But also like in yourrelationship with your kids and
(55:43):
your wife, you know, and theycan't afford to have those stuck
in the same ups, you know.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
So, yeah, Anyway, I didn't know that at the time you
know, and there's no way Icould know that.
Speaker 2 (55:53):
You know, yeah, but but yeah, it is, it's, it's
telling, I thought.
I think, just like in closing,I think every listener should do
that.
I may even do that this weekwith my clients.
Well, I don't go like, go andget a, you know, a, a 20 some
year old picture of yourselfyeah, man, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (56:16):
Go get like a 15 year old picture of yourself.
Speaker 2 (56:18):
Yep, you know yeah, check it out, just see what, see
what you feel when you see it.
Yeah, you know I was that smirkon my face and maybe, maybe,
make it even, maybe, make iteven more poignant and say that
get a picture of yourself thatyou feel like represents who you
were in that moment.
You know, because, like dog,when I look at myself, it's not
(56:39):
anger that I see, it's not, it'slike pure determination.
You know, what I saw when Ilooked at your picture dog.
Speaker 1 (56:47):
What.
Speaker 2 (56:48):
Like enough's enough already, enough's enough, like
you know what I mean.
What does that have enough ofto you?
Just like?
Hey, man, like tell me how youfeel about me.
Yeah, I'm tired, I'm tired, I'mtired of trying to figure it
out because, guess what, I don'tlike you either.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was thatwas one of the.
(57:11):
I think you don't want me tostand where you don't want me to
stand.
I think in that okay, you don'thave the sun in my eye in that
in that moment I was like, oh, Idon't have to make people happy
.
Yeah, like I don't.
I don't have to like follow therules and you know of society,
and like make people happy, likeI don't have to do any of that
stuff.
Yeah, you know, yeah, bro, ohman, anyway, all right, man,
(57:34):
check out.
Check out real quick, like twominutes man, two minutes, what
you got up for the rest of theweek.
It's Monday.
I'm excited about thosemeetings with the publishers.
We got two publishing meetingstomorrow, semester's wrapping up
.
I got a great papers, but alsobaby Keon's starting school.
Speaker 1 (57:54):
When is he?
Speaker 2 (57:54):
starting In a couple weeks, I think sometime in
August.
Beginning of August.
Speaker 1 (58:00):
August 7th or something.
Speaker 2 (58:02):
I don't know Our school district.
They don't really haveannouncements like that.
The only reason why I knowwe're close to PTA members,
megan is on the advisory councilfor our kids' school, so like
that's the only reason why Iknow I wouldn't know either.
Yeah, yeah, but anyway, what amI looking for?
(58:26):
You got a Wednesday, wednesday.
You got that PGA tournament.
Yeah, but to be honest, man,like I just want to work out
tomorrow, that's it.
Yeah, work out tomorrow.
That's it.
Yeah, I just want to work outtomorrow like I don't want to
come up with any excuses or like, you know, a client getting in
the way, or like a kid gettingaway, or like, uh, you know, let
me answer this email.
(58:47):
Whatever, I just want to workout tomorrow, get a good workout
by myself and listen to themost thug, ratchet-ish hood
music ever.
I'm talking.
People probably look at me andthink I'm listening to classical
.
Speaker 1 (59:05):
Yeah, man.
Speaker 2 (59:06):
But I'm listening to that gutta grimy Because that's
where we was born and that's howI feel in the end.
That's where we was born,that's where we came out of.
Yeah, don't let the doctor foolyou yeah, just google earth.
(59:28):
opeluxes, louisiana, just googleit.
Anyway, man.
Alright, it's been the 20thElvis podcast.
We'll be back again next week,same time, same place.
Yeah, man, it was fun.
Anything to add you any finalcomments?
No, have a good weekend.
Hopefully the audio is not tootrashed where we can like.
Yeah, I know, man, I got a newmic.
(59:50):
I got everything.
Oh man, my internet flaked outand working.
Oh yeah, we'll see.
We may have to run this back.
All right, thank you.
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