#63: Chelsea Curtis: The Power of Sharing From the Heart

Chelsea is a Narcotics Unit Paralegal Specialist with the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Eastern District of Virginia, and a member of Silent No More. Addiction has rattled just about every one of her family members, ultimately claiming the lives of her two oldest brothers Steven and Scott. Steven passed away from a heroin overdose in 2009 and Scott passed away from an overdose attributed to a mixture of Fentanyl and a new synthetic opioid called Isotonitrazene. Her stepdad passed away from cirrhosis of the liver caused by his decades long alcohol addiction. Chelsea's birth mother has been an addict for years, falling victim to heroin, crack, and other drugs. 

Her youngest brother has been on opiates since he was about 13 or 14 and is now 30. She wants to share her story and have these uncomfortable conversations to end the stigma associated with addiction.   Chelsea wants to keep Steven and Scott's stories alive, and she wants to be an example that your circumstances today do not warrant your path tomorrow. She wants her story to spread hope to those personally battling addiction and those affected by watching their loved one’s battle addiction. Together, we can fight this.

Topics:

• The power of sharing from the heart and the power of stories.
• What was the turning point in your life?
• My mom’s overdose in front of me.
• Was there a significant change in the way you saw your mom in that moment?
• Growing up in foster care and the military 
• Why did you never go down the drug abuse road?
• Never felt the need to escape from addiction.
• Bobby’s brother dies from addiction.
• You have a choice to see the negative or the positive in life.
• Mental health isn’t going to get fixed overnight.

Episode Transcript

Jen (00:00):
Welcome back to the unbreakable boundaries Podcast
with your hosts, myself,Jennifer Maneely. And today's
guests, I met this person at anevent that I was doing, where I
brought some of my artwork andit was at the I'm gonna get this
wrong, but it was a prism of itwas the prism of vent out in
Raleigh and opioid Summit. Thankyou people's opioid summit I,

(00:25):
you know, I always get stucksometimes in remembering things.
And her organization came outand shared, just a lot of really
great things. And it was calledsilent, no more. And it, it was
such a powerful conversation.
And as soon as I heard herstory, I was like, I knew, I

(00:47):
know, I had to have her on mypodcast, because it was so real,
so authentic. So just everythingwas perfect. In terms of her
sharing, what it is that we needto be talking about more around
this field, and her name isChelsea Curtis. And I'm gonna
let her introduce herself just alittle bit more in in what she

(01:09):
wants to say. So thank you,Chelsea, for coming on the
podcast.

Chelsea (01:17):
Thank you. So we met at the People's opioid summit down
in North Carolina. It ourprogram is silent no more is a
program ran from the USAttorney's Office for the
Eastern District of Virginia.
And basically, we go out tomiddle and high schools, and we
give presentations about opioidsand what's out there. And we are
composed of a prosecutor whohandles narcotics and overdose

(01:38):
cases, we have a DEA agent whopresents what's out there,
what's being seized, cases andhow some sentencings have
happened. We also have familymembers who have lost family
member or other family membersto addiction and overdoses.
Primarily, it's moms who havelost their children. I believe

(02:00):
that I'm the only one that haslost siblings. And then we also
have a doctor Dr. Denise who isphenomenal. She gives a very How
do you even get her interactivepresentation who I believe
Jennifer was when I

Jen (02:20):
was I was I remember doing a bunch of push ups. And yeah, I
was thinking I was gonna get sothat it was very interesting is
one of the better presentationsthat I've seen when it comes to
like a prevention typepresentation. Dr. Denise, she

(02:41):
was amazing. She was energetic.
I was like, I could see theimportance like and what do you
go into high schools and middleschools? I went through the
first time I did this was like,not very long goes. Like maybe
October was my first time I wentinto a high school to share a
little bit about my story. Whenit was really scary to I was

(03:04):
like, how am I going to keepthese teenagers entertained? I
don't think I did a great job. Ithink Dr. Denise nails it when
she doesn't. And I think it'simportant. But it was it. It was
a great. It was a great thing.
And I think it's so importantthat we do start having these
conversations in middle and highschool. Because the earlier we

(03:27):
can kind of get get to them andhave them understand what's
happening, I think is important.
So I think that organization isso powerful. And of course that
was how I again, I met youright. So you said you had lost
two siblings?

Chelsea (03:44):
Correct. I've lost. So I have five brothers. And the
two oldest are twins. Scott andSteven and Steven passed from a
heroin overdose in 2009 August4 2009. And Scott passed from a
fentanyl and Eisah to knit azine which is a newer drug
hitting the market on August 22of this year.

Jen (04:07):
So August is not that long ago. Right now as we're
recording this, we're inDecember. So August of this year
is this is like still a reallyfresh thing for you.

Chelsea (04:21):
It is and that's actually how I got involved with
Silent No More So as a lot ofpeople are aware, August 31 is
national overdose Awareness Day.
And Scott passed on the 22nd. Ihad taken about a week and a
half off of work. It was youknow, it was sudden like, you
know, you deal with familymembers who are addicts and they
were you know, Scott wasaddicted to drugs for a long
time many years. And you knowthat one day that may come but

(04:42):
it doesn't make it any easier.
It doesn't help you prepare forit, like a lot of people say
nearly always have hope thatthey'll get clean. It's from
their life around. But on August31 My counterparts who run this
island and more program down inRichmond Kim Olivia, who you met
In North Carolina, they send anemail out to the to our entire

(05:03):
district. And, you know, withthe facts of how many people die
every year from overdoses andhow an entire college football
stadium can be filled by it,like really, like, they share
statistics in these programsthat really put it in, in
perspective, right. And sobecause you could hear 100,000,
but you don't really understand,like, how many people that
really is. And they send theemail out, you know, with the

(05:26):
statistics and you know, thefact that it's, we always do it
for like, the National Days,right? They don't do like
National Donut Day, and theydon't bring doughnuts, and
unfortunately, but when theysent this email out at the end
of the email was, you know, of,if you wanted to get involved
with the offices work, to bringrecognition to overdoses. And I
just knew at that point that Ihad to do it. It was only it was

(05:51):
like, I think nine days afterScott had passed, I don't I
wasn't even back at work, and Ihad my laptop at home, you know,
we have the option to telework.
And I saw the email on ourcontact center right away. And
it was like, Look, wherever Ican fit in, you know, I'm not an
attorney, then go to law school.
But you know, this has affectedmy life in significant ways.
Wherever I can fit in, like, I'mhappy to help I deserve. And so

(06:11):
that's where it all kind ofbegan. And the people's opioid
summit down in North Carolinawas actually my first speaking
engagement, and I was terrified.
I remember the night before theygot to the hotel, and they were
saying like, Have you thoughtabout what you're gonna say? And
I'm like, no, like, I haven'tprepared anything. I haven't
practice. But then like, theyreminded me Olivia reminded me I
think it was you know, like youlive this right? There's,

(06:33):
there's nothing you can preparefor like you lived it, you
experienced it, and nobody cantell it better than you. And I
just went with that. And so thenext morning, I remember we met
downstairs, it was like seveno'clock to get breakfast. And I
had my two year old with me and,and his dad, and I had no clue
what I was going to say. And Iremember Cory asked me like
Dave, have you? You know, haveyou thought about it? Are you

(06:53):
ready? And I was like, notreally. But you know. And then
when I got up there, though, totalk, thankfully, the pictures
of Scott and Steven were behindme. So I didn't have to, you
know, like see the pictures,because I probably wouldn't have
been able to do it. But afterthis, I knew that after the song
finished, which is the start ofour program that I was after
that included and I was justlike, I remember the song

(07:15):
getting to the end, and I waslike, Oh my gosh, I have to take
the mic now. And so I got upthere I had no clue like what
was I gonna say for my firstsentence? Oftentimes, like that
first sentence, right? is thehardest thing to say? Because
how do you lead into what youwant to say? How are you going
to be effective. And so I had noidea. But then when I got up
there, like it just came out.

(07:37):
But yeah, that's how it all kindof started.

Jen (07:39):
And it was your stories. So it's not like, you have to come
up with something. It's like,whenever we're share from the
heart. And I think that's whatreally attracted whenever we're
just sharing from the heart,what comes out is what needs to
come out in that moment. Andit's exactly perfect. The way

(07:59):
that it wasn't, there was somuch to the story. I know you
only had like 10 minutes here.
And you did share a lot aboutlike your your brothers that did
pass away. And you shared alittle bit about your own story
within that which I found to bereally powerful as your story of
what it looks like to becausewhen I hear it, I'm like, Well,

(08:25):
this is a person that could thathad two roads to go down the
road of the road of selfdestruction or the road of I
guess what I would call likerising up to the challenges. And
in you made some probably verydifficult choices to rise up

(08:46):
more to the challenges of, ofwhat you were presented in your
life. So I would love to hear alittle bit about your own, like,
upbringing and story.

Chelsea (09:00):
Yeah, sure. So, I don't know if I always rose up to
those challenges. I was youknow, well, I'll get to that in
a minute. So, growing up, we hada great life. I was in
gymnastics, my brothers, my mynext oldest brother Cody. He
played football. I mean, we, youknow, like we had a good life.

(09:21):
We had a nice pool, nice house.
Lots of woods. You know, we II'm the only girl so we would
take an old mattress out in themiddle of the woods. And that
was our trampoline, right?
Because we didn't have the moneyfor real trampoline. So we had,
you know, a relatively goodupbringing. My birth mother and
Tracy was married to the twinsdad. So I mean, the twins do

(09:41):
have different moms. But she wasmarried to their dad, Rick. And
you know, Rick was the best thatI could have ever asked where
you came in my life when I waseight months old. And that was
the only dad that I knew. When Iwas eight, and we have a
neighbor and we used to alwaysdo stuff with this neighbor he
lived at the end of the streetname was Walter. And what One
day, he was like, Hey, do youwant to go fishing? And so me

(10:02):
and a few other kids from theneighborhood we went, we had
this canal back in the back ofour neighborhood. And there
wasn't many houses in ourneighborhood like it wasn't, you
know, as as congested asneighborhoods are nowadays. And
so we went fishing, and after acouple hours, I'm very fair
skinned, as you can see. So hesaid that I was starting to get
a sunburn, and that he wouldtake me home. And I had rode my

(10:24):
bike down there, because wewere, you know, neighborhood
kids, we ride our bikeseverywhere. So I was like, No, I
can ride my bike home. And hewas like, No, I said, I'll take
you home. And so he ended upactually picking me up and
throwing me into his vehicle,and then locking the door. So I
couldn't get out. And he hadalready put the child locks on
the doors. And he put, he threwmy bike in the trunk. And he's

(10:46):
driving away. And I rememberlike, I was, like, really
scared, right? Because yeah, Iknow this guy. But like, I just
got thrown into a vehicle andlike, my parents have never been
abusive to me at this point. Andso he was driving around the
back roads and kept going aroundin circles. And the canal was
maybe a two minute drive to myhouse. And then eventually, he

(11:08):
was like, Do you want to drive?
And so I'm like, do I want todrive like, I'm eight years old,
of course, I want to drive. So Igot on his lap. And you know, I
was driving around and I wouldturn to go to my house and he
would take his hand and fix thesteering wheel to make me keep
going around. Well, he ended upmolesting me. And when this went
on for probably about 30 or 45minutes, then finally we don't
know what happened. But hedecided, okay, well, it's time

(11:32):
to take her to her house. So wewent home and I remember getting
out and I was holding backtears. He had told me that if I
told my parents, he would killmy entire family. And I believed
him, right? Because I'manything. Yeah, right. And I
can't think of anything. Butthis monster that just did this
to me. And I have this flood ofemotions. And it's, it's crazy
to me how vivid it still feels.

(11:57):
It's what 24 years later, and itstill feels like it was
yesterday. And so I rememberwreck was outside my stepdad and
he knew something was wrongright away. He's like, what's
wrong, and I was like, nothing.
And then and then my birth momTracy came out. And if you hear
me call her Tracee I don't callher mom because she's been out
of my life for so long. But sheis my mother. But she came out
and then she knew something waswrong. So she took me out. We

(12:21):
had this bonfire pit in thebackyard. And there was a swing
by and she took me out there.
And I told her what happened.
Rick was getting my bike fromWalter out in the front by the
driveway. And so I told her whathappened. And as soon as Walter
pulled off, she screamed outRick's name like it was just
like this heartfelt pain thatyou could hear. And he came
running through the through theyard in we told him we call the

(12:43):
police right away. They took meto the hospital to the exams,
everything like that. He wasarrested. Even my oldest
brother, one of the twins was myright hand like he was my best
friend. He was my protector. Hewas I mean everything that a
girl could want. Right? And andI remember when he found out he

(13:06):
had went to the house and it wasa White House and he spray
painted child molester liveshere and black spray paint. And
Walters house, the side that hespray painted face the main
road. So anybody who cameanywhere near our house or was
just driving through would seethis. And then later that night,
him and him and Scott would getinto. They were mischievous. So
and they were twins. So they dideverything together. And they

(13:32):
tried to set this house on firealso. Thankfully, they were
unsuccessful. But, um, so thenwe went through the court
process and everything. And Iremember after I had to testify
in the judge's chambers, and Iremember coming out of the
courtroom, and the first personI saw was Steven. And then Rick
was beside him. And I rememberStephen just kneeling down with

(13:53):
his arms open. And I ran rightinto him. I didn't go to my mom,
I didn't go to my dad. I went toSteven. And so that was that was
really the turning point, Ithink for when I started
noticing, like everything goingwrong. I remember Scott and
Stephen like noticing that theywere smoking marijuana. We have
this big red barn on the side ofyour house. And I remember, Rick

(14:17):
would go out there all the time,and twins would go out there and
they would smoke this stuff thatto me, I mean, it it smelled. It
smelled great, right. It was avery unique smell. So when I
first noticed them started doingit, and then I started noticing
Tracy, I didn't know at thetime, but looking back and you
know, once I started learningwhat everything was. That's

(14:38):
where I started noticing herdrinking more and taking pills
and she would just be out of it.
She ran an assisted livingfacility inside our home. So we
had patients that lived with usand then allowed her to be home
with us more and, and and stuff.
So that was kind of the turningpoint. And the next couple years
were just really raw They wereabusive to each other. Scott and

(15:00):
Steven were in and out of thehouse. They're 12 years older
than me. So they were adults atthis point. But they were they
would come and stay with ussometimes. And, you know, be in
family events and family photosand stuff like that. But they
didn't live with us constantly.

Jen (15:17):
Right? So, I have a question real quick, because I
want to ask this before we keepgoing. So you say that kind of
this time, because at first itwas it's like, okay, we, I live
in a good home, I live stable,all of this stuff, something
happens. And now there's aturning point when you look back

(15:38):
on it, because an eight yearold, like an eight year old
brain, right, like this is justnorm. Like, rather, these things
are just norm. So my question, Ithink, to you is, when you look
even back further, was was itthe turning point? Or was it the

(15:58):
turning point in which you juststarted noticing? Like, no, I
don't see happening before.

Chelsea (16:05):
So I don't even think that I noticed that, then in the
moment, I think now being olderand like really reflecting on my
life, because when every personin your family has an alcohol or
drug addiction, and you make itout. And like I also have
another brother who you know,made it out, and we've never
been addicted to anything, youstart to wonder why like, how

(16:26):
did we escape it? Why didn't wefollow the same path. And so you
start reflecting on everythingthat happened. And so now
looking back, I see that as kindof where the chains became
broken. Then when I was eight,or when I was 10, or 11, or 12,
or going through my teenageyears, I never really reflected
on it, right? Make it day byday, right?

Jen (16:47):
It was just normal. Right?

Chelsea (16:49):
Before lunch. You know, Tracy, you know, I've heard
stories that like she useddrugs, you know, before I was
born, you know, before my olderbrother was born. So it could
have been and I just nevernoticed it. But after the sexual
abuse happened, that's when itwas like now I can really notice
that that's really where thingsstarted going south, Rick and
Tracy started becoming abusivetowards each other. They

(17:13):
separated. So witnessing, youknow, them fighting and arguing.
And you know, like, in themoment, you're just like, Oh,
they're just having an argumentor oh, you know, they're getting
into a fight like you think thatthat's normal, right? Until you
get older and you realize like,that's not a healthy situation.
That's not what's supposed tohappen. And so they had
separated in I think it wasaround 2000 2000, maybe. So I

(17:38):
was 10 when they officially likethey they began dating. And oh,

Jen (17:45):
so it's kind of like all of a sudden, your stable home? Or
what used to be a stable homestarted kind of becoming a
little less stable. Absolutely.
Yeah.

Chelsea (17:56):
Yep. And then so Rick had moved out and he got his own
place. And Tracy began datinganother guy. And so fast forward
to 2001. We went to Orlando tovisit the twins were living in
Orlando at this point. And wewent to visit that Steven at his
apartment. And we knew, like Iknew at this point that

(18:18):
something like they I didn'tknow that they were using drugs,
but I knew that sometimes when Isaw my brother's like, they were
just acting a little different,or, you know, something had was
altering the way that they wereacting. I don't think that I
knew really about drugs at thatpoint. Um, so we went to
Stephens apartment. Tracy'sboyfriend had went with us, it

(18:40):
was supposed to be like anOrlando vacation. And Tracy and
I were alone at Stephensapartment, Stephen. I don't
remember where he went. I don'tknow if he went to see a friend
or went to work or what but faceand I were alone. And I remember
being in the living roomwatching TV, I think. I don't
know. It was some cartoon thatwas on like Ren and Stimpy or
something back in the day,right. And, um, and I had called

(19:04):
out to her because I was hungry,and she didn't respond. And so I
was like, oh, maybe she's in thebathroom. So I remember waiting
a little bit and then when thenext commercial break came on,
and she still didn't respond tome, I went to look for and she
was laid out on her back onStephens bed. Her arms were
stretched out, and she had aprick in her right hand on the

(19:26):
ring finger. And it was reallylike bizarre, but she had like
blood coming out from rightthere. And she was her face was
turning blue and she was foamingat the mouth. I was 11 I had no
clue like you know, they alwaysteach one. But in the moment
like you're not thinking wellwhat was I trained or what was I
taught to do? So I called herboyfriend first and I was like,

(19:48):
hey, Mom's not like answeringme. Her skin is turning blue and
he was like you need to hang upand call them. So I did. The
medics came they were able torevive her took her to the
hospital at this point Mybrother's had come to the
hospital. And then they releasedher. And that night she
overdosed again. And that was onFebruary 25 of 2001. And it was

(20:12):
either February 25, or like twoweeks before, but anyways, it
was sometime in February andthen we go back to we grew up in
North port Florida. And so we goback to Northport A few days
later. And I would say maybe twoor three weeks later, DCF was at
our door to take us away. AndI'll never forget, my first
caseworker who came in removedus her name was Samantha

(20:34):
Erickson. She's, I still keep incontact with her too, with her
to this day. And she, to me islike an angel on Earth. Right?
Because had it not been for her?
I don't know that I'd bespeaking with you on this
podcast.

Jen (20:46):
Well, yeah, because well, and so I just want to point just
a couple of things out becausethis is this is something that's
like really frustrating, right?
So you have this person that hasyoung kids, who just overdose in
front of their daughter, right?
Daughter's 11 years old, hascalled 911. Bring her back to

(21:08):
life in, take her to thehospital, and then release her
on the same day. Is that andthen? And then she overdoses
again, within the same 24 withinthe same 24 hours. And it took
and I'm so glad that you hadyour angel. And it took two to

(21:31):
three weeks for some.

Chelsea (21:34):
So I couldn't be I couldn't. Because yeah, but it
did. I remember going home and Iremember. Like, I just remember,
it was just very different. Inthe house, right? I didn't feel
like I could go talk to her. Ididn't feel like I could count
on her for anything. I had mybest friend since I was three

(21:54):
years old lived right around thecorner. And I remember spending
a lot of time her name is Ariel,I remember spending a lot of
time at her house. And her momalso was another angel on earth.
God rest her soul. But I spent alot of my a lot of my childhood
there, especially after thesexual abuse happened. Like it
was just not good in my house.
So

Jen (22:14):
when would you say was this? And it made me back
further. So I'm just gonna askquestion, but when did you start
kind of losing faith and trustin your mom?

Chelsea (22:28):
Um, well, I can't really say like, I don't feel
like I ever had the connectionthat a lot of people have with
their mothers. I was always adaddy's girl. And my brothers
were my world. The twins, I willsay that my my other brothers
like we would fight like normalkids. But like, I don't know if
it's because Scott and Stevenwere 12 years older. But they

(22:51):
didn't play by me. They kept mewith them. They always looked
out for me whenever I wanted, Igot

Jen (22:56):
they were kind of like your your caretakers,

Chelsea (23:00):
in a sense, when when they were around, for sure.
Stephen would make me browniesand sweet tea every time. Or
pasta salad, which was like oneof my favorite things as a kid.
But they just weren't around allthe time. So it would be like
when they when they came around.
But I was always extremely closewith their dad, who was my
stepdad, Rick. And I mean thatto brush my hair every night

(23:22):
when I got out of the mountains,and he'd put it in a braid while
we watch Judge Judy. So I'dnever really had that with
Tracy, though. I'm sorry. Inever had that with Tracy. So I
don't, I don't know if I everreally. Like would say that I
lost the faith or trust in herbecause I she wasn't the person
that I would go to if I needed

Jen (23:44):
just right. You just never really had it. But I'm at the
point in which, like, you foundher in an overdose. And you had
to deal with all of that. Itmaybe maybe not. I don't know,
that's why I'm asking thequestion. But was there like a
significant change? Just eventhe way that you saw her in that

(24:08):
moment?

Chelsea (24:09):
I think so. Um, I think that you know, felt a lot of
emotions that I think any familymember goes through when they
you know, especially witnesssomebody overdosing you know,
you feel angry, feel confusion,you feel betrayal, you feel like
sadness, you feel frustration,you feel, you know, like, you
start to question yourself andat 11 years old, it's a lot to

(24:30):
process. Right? Because you likeyou don't understand what an
overdose is. And back then, youknow, there wasn't as much out
there on it. You know, we didn'thave Google at our fingertips we
didn't have you know, theInternet was still on dial up at
this point. So it's not like wehad you know, flip phones were
thing but we didn't have phonesI didn't have my first one was
Howard 17. So

Jen (24:51):
why didn't talk about this stuff, then much right. You
know, like we have a hard timetalking about it now. But let's
have a hard time talking aboutit. Now. But even then it was
like rehabs and resources forthis stuff weren't as available.
And there was so much morestigma and shame around it, you

(25:12):
know, right then. And therestill a lot now. Right? But even
just a few years ago,it was we don't talk about that
stuff.
This was this isn't what you do.
There's, there's obviously somemoral failing character,

Chelsea (25:29):
right, like parents failed their kids or, and I know
my grandma's still feels thatway about my birth mom. You
know, she feels like, maybe shefailed. But, um,

Jen (25:40):
yeah. So. So you got to eventually you did get taken out
of the house, though. And

Chelsea (25:48):
it did so. Yep. So I was first placed with my aunt,
who, she's my aunt by marriage.
Her mom had married my, mymother's dad. And I went to live
with her. And I lived with herfor only a few months until she
began failing drug tests becauseshe would get high with Tracy.
And then I was taken from her Iwas placed with my older

(26:10):
brother's dad. And I lived therefor a little bit until they
tried reunification with Tracy.
And so my older brother, Codywent and lived with his dad,
which is the dad that I'mreferring to now. And he said
that he wanted to stay with him,he just didn't want to go back.
And then my little brother alsowas with him at this point. And

(26:33):
so they tried to reunify me andmy little brother, Bobby, with
Tracy. And so it didn't work.
She had told the state that shedidn't want me, but that she
would keep Bobby and so thestate was like, well, that's not
how this works, you know, likeyou don't pick and choose. So
they left me with her. And itwas very turbulent for a little

(26:54):
bit. And then they ended uptaking me away because it
clearly wasn't working. I wasrunning away from from school I
was running away from you know,I wouldn't go home. And so she
would have to report that to thecaseworker. The caseworker would
come to do home studies. Iwasn't there, but they knew
where to find me because I wouldalways be at Ariel's house or in
school. So they put me in fostercare. And they had continued to

(27:17):
try reunification over a coupleyears. And it got pretty bad.
And there were times when Iwould run away from foster
homes, you know, like fosterhomes aren't always the
greatest. I'm not saying thatthey're all bad. But there are
some who I truly andwholeheartedly feel like do it
for the check. And so I wouldrun away and go to Tracy's

(27:38):
house, right because that'ssomebody that I knew it's not a
stranger. And I knew that Icould just easily run away from
there if I wanted to, or, youknow, I would have more control
over the situation than I dowith these strangers. So there
was a few times that I went toTracy's and she became
physically abusive to me. Therewas a few times when she

(27:58):
actually offered a smoke crackwith me when I was 13. It was
just it was a bad situation allaround. And I just I had a hard
time dealing with the fact whywould she always put me back
with the state, but she kept mylittle brother. And like I said
in North Carolina, like now Ireally understand why and maybe
she didn't understand whyeither. But like now, I'm huge

(28:21):
in my faith and religion. So Ialways believe like God puts you
where you need to be when youneed to be there. And again,
something I didn't understand,you know, in my younger years,
but I appreciate now. And so wetried reunification for a while
up probably up until 2015 2005.

(28:45):
And then there was a point intime where she had me arrested
and said that I had stolen hervehicle and her cell phone. So
the cops and I was driving it,but I was driving it to pick her
up from a bar at night and Itook too long and I guess her
dealer was waiting on her. Andso she called the cops and I was
arrested. Actually, I think thatwas when I was 13. Then because

(29:11):
I was technically a ward of thestate. The state picked up the
charges even Tracy and went thenext day and said look this I've
completely made up the story.
It's not true. Like I don't wantto press charges, because that
was a ward of the state. Thestate had picked them up. And so
I ended up playing out I pled nocontest one charge and they
dismissed the other one. And soI was on juvenile probation. So
I was in and out of juveniledetention halls because again

(29:35):
with these foster homes, I wouldrun away. I remember one in
particular they had like 26horses, 10 Goats 10 cats, which
I'm highly allergic to cats,five dogs to pot bellied pigs
like it was just it wasn'tsaying like and they would feed
their dogs in the same dishesthey gave us right. So I'm like
I'm gonna stay in here. So Iwould call up a friend and be

(29:55):
like, hey, come pick me up. Andso you know every time over went
away. That was a probationviolation. And so I was in and
out of juvenile detentionfacilities. And, you know, I was
always told that I would neveramount to anything. And I would
be, I would probably end up justlike Tracy hooked on drugs, a
young mom, multiple babydaddies. You know, in my life, I
would just never amount toanything. And so, yeah,

(30:18):
whatever, you know, you go with,uh, okay. You don't know me. So
I keep running away. Finally, in2000. I think it was December of
2005. We were able to locate. Soearlier in 2005, I had to take a
DNA test with a man who theythought was my biological dad.

(30:39):
And so in December of 2005, wefound out he was my dad, he came
to meet me the first time weever met, I was in a juvenile
detention center. And they Iwent, they took me to the to the
kitchen or the dining area. Andthat's where I met my my real
dad for the first time. And thenupon my release. Him and his
wife, Kate, who also is anotherangel on Earth. They came and

(31:04):
picked me up and there was nomore foster care for me. So I
went to live with him. And Ithink that that is a turning
point for my life at that point.

Jen (31:18):
Right. So before we I have a question, how many you said
there was no more Foster? Itsounds like you ran away? Quite
often. How many foster placesdid you end up going into?

Chelsea (31:33):
Well, so that's a complicated question, because I
don't I stopped counting afterlike, 25.

Jen (31:39):
But you stopped counting after 25 different placements?

Chelsea (31:43):
Yes. And I was in multiple counties. I was in
youth shelters. I was in grouphomes. I was actually in one
group home where I got jumped inmy sleep. And then they tried to
make me stay there. So what didI do? I ran away. I was in
foster homes, group homes, youthshelters. And it was all over

(32:08):
Florida. I mean, it was theydidn't keep me where I grew up.
And everything I knew, like Iwas in Tampa, I was in Orlando,
I was in West Palm Beach. It wasin, you know, for Myers,
wherever they picked me up fromrunning away, then they would
just move me somewhere else.

Jen (32:24):
Did you even know half the time where you even were?

Chelsea (32:28):
Um, I was resourceful.
I figure it out.

Jen (32:32):
Yeah, this is where I am right now. And I feel like

Chelsea (32:35):
I grew up. I feel like I grew up really fast. Because I
had to, especially after Tracyoverdose. I just felt like, I
had to learn how to take care ofmyself, because I couldn't count
on her. And let's, I mean, Idon't think it's a secret to
anybody that, you know, a younggirl can go out and find
somebody to take her pick herup, take her somewhere, you

(32:56):
know, and thankfully, I wasnever a victim of like sex
trafficking or any of thehorrific events you hear about,
you know, when people run awayfrom foster care and stuff. But,
um, yeah,

Jen (33:06):
yeah. Okay. So your dad takes you in. And there was more
foster care from that point.

Chelsea (33:14):
Correct. And so I was, I was behind on my high school
credits because of the runningaway. But we were able to get
all that caught up. I caught upmost of my credits while I was
in the juvenile detentionfacility the last time. And so I
went to live with John and hegot me in high school, I joined
the track team. You know, wewent and did bowling together

(33:37):
like things that families shouldbe doing right that I never got
a chance to do growing up. Andso I guess, I owe a lot of
credit to him and his wife fortaking me in. Because again, at
that point in my life, who knowswhat were what I would have
taken had I stayed in fostercare. And then I ended up

(33:57):
graduating high school in 2007.
And then I joined the militaryin 2008.

Jen (34:07):
So you had so you joined the military, and how long did
you stay in service?

Chelsea (34:12):
So I was I only served for 10 months, I got discharged
for a knee injury. And then Igot out and I was like, Okay,
what do I do now? Because Idon't have that, you know, like
me and John, we were, you know,we're close. But we're not like,
we're not close, like most kidsare with their dads who have
grown up with their dads, right.
So like, he met me when I was15. I was I was a Hellion I was
rude. I was argumentative. Iwould cut you out in a

(34:36):
heartbeat. I just didn't care,right? My mom doesn't want me.
You know, like, I I was takenaway from my brothers. I was
taken away from the only familyand I knew I just I didn't care
about losing anybody else. So Iwas very problematic around
those years. And so I ended uphe will before I joined the
military, he tried to get me togo to Community Care.

(34:59):
allegiance, I took a couple ofcourses, but then I was like,
I'm not following your rules.
I'm out of here. And so themilitary was the best option for
me at that point. When I got outof the military, I kind of came
home and just, you know, like,lived life day to day, like, I
didn't really have any plan oranything like in force, I would.

(35:20):
I had my own apartment, like, Iwasn't scared to work that, you
know, I've always, like I said,I grew up young. So I feel like
I'm a little bit of an old soul.
And so I live day to day, but Ihad no real plan for my wife. So
then 2009 came. And it was a fewmonths after I got out of the

(35:41):
military. And I got the callthat Stephen had passed away.

Jen (35:48):
And that really, were you at the time, like when you got
that call? I know you said whenyou were younger, you just
didn't really kind of know whatwas happening. You just knew
that there was something thatwas changing the personality.
When I knew about the drugs,right is Yeah, so when did you

(36:08):
start kind of starting tounderstand what was really
happening? And like, maybe on ascale of one to 10? How
surprised were you when you gotthat call?

Chelsea (36:20):
Um, well, as far as being surprised. Like I said,
even dealing with addicts, youknow, most of my life. I don't
think anything prepares you forgetting that call. Yeah. I don't
think it's ever something likeand I say it a lot. You know, my
little brother and my birth mom.
Well, my little brother is inrecovery now. But my birth mom
is still on drugs, right? And soI always say like, she's gonna

(36:44):
kill herself like, but I stillthink that if I were to get the
call tomorrow, or today, itwould be just as surprising as
if I never knew she did drugs.
And she and I got an overdosecall. Yeah. I don't think
there's anything that reallyprepares you or lowers that
level of surprise. Yeah.

(37:07):
I remember being in denial for awhile about that one. So I
didn't go to his funeral. Icouldn't, I just,
I knew he was cremated. And Iknew it was gonna be a
celebration of life versus like,you know, your normal funeral.
But I just couldn't go becauseA, may have been just a mental

(37:33):
block, but like, I, I did notprocess for years, the fact that
Stephen was gone. And still tothis day, like, I struggle with
it a lot, because my son, youknow, reminds me so much of him.
You know, it's, it's, they'renot blood related. But like, my
son has the brown eye, you know,the big brown eyes and the dark

(37:54):
hair, and, you know, has a lotof his personality. And so it's
still really hard to this day,to really grapple with the fact
that he's gone and it's been 13years. It doesn't get any
easier. So whoever came up withthat phrase was full of it. You
just learned to live lifewithout them. Right? And you

(38:17):
learn to hold on to the memoriesin a different way than what you
would have appreciated before.
So yeah, I didn't go to hisfuneral. Now looking back, do I
have regret on that sometimes.
But I knew the relationship thatI had with him, and I didn't
feel like I owe that to anybodyelse.

Jen (38:35):
Right. Um, so here's, we talked a little bit about you
know, you've said that you justdidn't really ever go down the
drug world, even though it wasall around you, your whole
famous like you were taughtthis. And sometimes it's like,

(38:56):
the expectations I think is likeyou have all the classic what I
would call, I don't know if thisis the right word, but all the
like the classic symptoms ofwhat someone with a drug abuse
would have. And yet you justnever went down that road.

Chelsea (39:12):
So I did smoke marijuana. And I would drink but
it never I never took a hold ofyou. Right? It never took a
hold. It never controlled mylife. I never really liked the
taste of alcohol. It was morelike if my friends were taking a
shot, I would take a shot. Ienjoyed smoking weed for a
little while. Again, it wasn'tsomething that I had to do every
day I had to do all day. It wasjust like, here and there. It's

(39:35):
like I went to a party and itwas there. It was fine, but that
was the extent of it. But I justI'm not sure I don't know
whatever. I don't know if maybeit's just I didn't I hated the
way alcohol made me feelespecially the next day you wake
up with a hangover and you feellike why did I do that? So I
just never I don't know if itwas seeing like how Tracy acted

(39:57):
when she was on drugs or Onething that twins when they would
be nodding out, I don't knowwhat exactly it was that didn't.
Like wasn't appealing to me.

Jen (40:09):
It so yeah, I know. So it's it's so interesting. So this is
what I like to remind like,because like your story would be
like the quote unquote typicalbecause I've met people from all
sorts of backgrounds in terms ofgrowing up. And I think the
parents that I talked to a lotare the ones that that really

(40:34):
struggle with, like, I don'tunderstand what went, quote
unquote, wrong, right? Becausethey had a good upbringing. I
didn't teach them this, I didn'tdo. Like this was not I don't
know how they even found drugs,and all those things, right. So
those are the ones that I feellike really struggle, because it

(40:55):
doesn't make sense to them howsomeone can go down that road
that wasn't taught. And this iswhat I like to remind them is
it's not always about like theupbringing, right? It's
something much deeper going oninternally, it's not even
external factors that createsomeone, although it can

(41:17):
contribute, like external thingscan contribute to the internal
world that we have going on. Butit's not a perfect checklist of,
of what, quote unquote, wentwrong. Right. So there's
something that just didn't graba hold of you internally. And if

(41:38):
you could have your likesuspicions, because I'm always
playing with this. And I'm notsaying that I have the answer.
Anybody else has the right. ButI like to play with this
question a little bit of whatwhat do you think contributed a
lot to you not kind of lettingthat that external impact your

(42:02):
internal to the point ofsubstance abuse?

Chelsea (42:06):
I have no clue. I really, I really don't know. I
don't know. Because I definitelyhad like the means where I could
have easily accessed it. Youknow, I dated the drug dealers.
I just never wanted to, I neverand like I said, I don't know if

(42:27):
it's because I saw Tracy, Idon't know, I just I wish I had
an answer for you. But Iliterally have the recipe for
going down that road. And Ijust, I will say the grace of
God, you know, saved me from it.
So I'm not sure.

Jen (42:46):
I think no, I think that's a perfect answer. Because like,
I've been playing with thisquestion for forever now, but I
still don't know. Right? Like, Idon't know, exactly. The only
thing that I can kind of grab ahold on to, is it something that
happens internally? Maybe it'sgenetics. But it's like, you

(43:09):
know, I think about likegenetics is like okay, but if it
was genetics with your wholefamily? Wouldn't that play a
part in it? So it can't just becontributed solely on? It's like
a whole storm of things. That I

Chelsea (43:24):
think Dr. Denise does a good job of explaining it as how
there is, you know, the geneticwire for it. Right. Yeah. But
then you have to also, like,decide that time to take it. And
that one time may be the hookthat gets you. I just never got
to that one time.

Jen (43:43):
Right. Right. So yeah, there may have been a drug,
there may have been a drug outthere that you could have
potentially tried that wouldhave hooked you. You just never
tried that thing. Because it waslike you never really even want
it to even though it was aroundyou all the time. Right? Like
all the various differentthings. You're like, I just

(44:04):
don't really want this isn'tright. And was it? It was just
more of I don't want to or wasit like, I'm scared of what
could happen.

Chelsea (44:15):
I don't think I thought about either one of those in the
time. I think I just don't thinkit was ever appealing to me.
Like, yeah, I didn't and theI've always been like, you know,
I know growing up like I wasalways like the life of the
party. And so I just never feltlike I needed anything to alter
how I felt.

Jen (44:32):
So you were never really trying to even though so, and I
find this so interesting, right?
So even though you had so muchlike emotional pain and all of
these struggles, it sounds likeyou just never felt the need to
escape from all of that. Is thatright? You're like right I don't
need to go hide from this isjust what happened. It was

(44:53):
painful. This is why this iswhat I feel about it. I don't
feel like I need to hide it.
From it, is that accurate?

Chelsea (45:02):
I think so I think that that's a fair statement. Yeah,

Jen (45:05):
that's, and I think it's so because it's like, again, most
of us who goes through somethinglike that would probably not
want to feel the things that wewould feel through that like,
and I don't want to, you know,harp on this, but it's like
having having a mom, I can'timagine what it would do to me
to have a mom that would keepone of the kids and not the

(45:30):
other for whatever reason thatshe had, right? Our little kid
brains are going to take rightin as maybe she had valid
reasons. Maybe she was justlike, I'm just not a good, good
enough mother for whatever isn'thow much

Chelsea (45:46):
of a superstar was, and she couldn't.

Jen (45:50):
She was like, You know what, I can not deal with my
daughter who was too freakingawesome. I cannot have the
awesomeness in my house. Right?
So that's a great way I like tothink. Yeah, and you know, what,
that's probably something alongthose lines. But I just like to
play with that kind of, kind of,I guess, questionings or

(46:14):
thoughts of experimenting,because I think, you know, we
have sometimes I think insociety, we have an assumption
of what an addicts upbringingmust have been like. And you
what I have come to find formyself, and what I hear, what I
like to bring to this is, isthat it's not as clear or as

(46:37):
clear cut, as sometimes peoplemake it out. This is a
complicated,

Chelsea (46:48):
right. And I think that, you know, a lot of times
when when you're addressingaddiction, or those who are
going through, you know, thesubstance use disorder. They're
always referred to as thosepeople, you know, like, Oh,
that'll never be me. I'll never,you know, and you can't say
that, right. And so one thingabout addiction is it does not
discriminate. It doesn't justyou could have had a perfect

(47:10):
million dollar, you know,upbringing, you know,
millionaire billionaireupbringing, you could have, you
know, been raised in the slumpsand had a bad upbringing and not
fallen down that road or wentdown that road, you could be
white, black, you could beHispanic, you could be you know,
tall, short, fat, skinny, youknow, like, it does not
discriminate, no matter whatsocial background, you come from
no matter like what, you know,class of society, you come, it

(47:33):
just does not discriminate atall.

Jen (47:35):
Right. And this is, this is what I remind, you know, the
parents have talks that talk toa lot of a lot more of the
parents that lean on, but theyhad such a great upbringing. I
don't write it right. Like, and,and, you know, I have to come
back to them often, and remindthem that this is not a

(47:56):
parenting problem, right? Itdoesn't mean that parents can't
do certain things to supportthem, once they get of age and
How to Act Like, we're no longerand this one I remind parents,
you're no longer trying to fixthe quote unquote, mistakes that
you think that you made, that'sactually making things so much

(48:17):
worse, right?

Chelsea (48:18):
Yeah. So and so after Stephen passed, I had a really
rough time, I didn't know what Iwanted to do in life. I didn't
know like, I just felt like apart of me was gone. Because I
turned to him, even through hisdeepest days of addiction, like,
we still had conversations, westill talk to each other on a
regular basis, I still gotadvice from him. And so for

(48:39):
years, I really struggled withwhat do I want to do? What do I
you know, he always wanted me togo to college. And so I didn't
know what I wanted to go tocollege for. I never saw myself
going to college. And so I thinkI struggled a lot with that.
Like, why was he so in so muchpain, that because at this time,
you know, I'm you know, 20 yearsold, I, I know a little bit more

(49:03):
about drugs. I knew that theyboth had an addiction. And so
I'm like, what, you know, wasthere something that I could
have done differently? Thatwould have spared his life? And
I think that's another thingthat family members or friends
of addicts, always question is,did I do enough? Was I there
enough for them? Was itsomething that I did that ever

(49:25):
made them feel less worthy thanwhat they actually were? What if
I'm right, right. Yeah. And you,you you struggle with that,
like, Stephens been gone 13years, right. And I still
struggle with that. Like, I'mlike, What could I have done? To
save his life? And the answer isnothing. Right? Right. You're
always told, like people alwaystell you like, you know, when

(49:47):
you're dealing with an addict,you know, eventually you're, you
know, for so long, you'reenabling them. And so you need
to draw that line and put themoff, cut all the resources off,
bla bla bla bla, and love themwhere they're at right? And then
the hardest part for me is nowwith, I never cut Steven off. I

(50:07):
talked to him up until hispassing. But Scott earlier this
year, we had gotten into anargument because he was getting
high with our younger brother.
And it's no secret like mylittle brother, Bobby has been
addicted to drugs since he waslike, 14. He's take that road,
he did take that road. And so Igot really, really pissed at
Scott, because, you know, he washanging out with Bobby and his

(50:30):
friends and getting high withthem. And, you know, I wanted
more not only for Scott, but forBobby also. And so but back up a
little bit in 2019, Bobby andScott have the same dad, Bobby
and the twins have the same dad.
But they have different moms,Bobby as my mom. So Rick passed

(50:51):
away. And he died from cirrhosisof the liver secondary to his
alcohol addiction. And he wouldput vodka and water bottles to
try to hide it from us. And sothat was a huge blow. And when
that happened, I just kepttelling myself, Bob is going to
kill himself. And so by thegrace of God, he did not. And so

(51:15):
when, earlier this year, whenScott and I had gotten into it,
I'm like, You know, Bobby hasnobody, Tracy still strung out.
And so that's not a good rolemodel. I had moved up to
Maryland, four years ago, fourand a half years ago now. And so
I wasn't there. And our olderbrother Cody had joined the
military. And so he's, you know,not there. He's off in the
military. And so I felt likeScott was that one person that

(51:38):
Bobby did have, and instead of,you know, being what he should
have been to Bobby, he wassuffering in his own addiction.
And I did not appreciate that. Ididn't even think about what he
was struggling with. I just sawthe fact that he was getting
high with our little brother,who has overdosed before. And I

(52:02):
was angry about it. And so Itold him, I didn't want to speak
to him anymore. And then, andthen Tracy called me on August
22. And I was driving down theroad, my best friend, my son's
godmother was actually up here.
And I was driving on thehighway. And she didn't say, you
know, most people would be like,Hey, what are you doing? Can you
sit down for a minute, like, Ineed to tell you something, she

(52:25):
just went straight into it. Isaid, Hello. And she said Scott
died. And it hit me like a tonof bricks. Like I felt the
impact. It took me like maybe 10seconds. And at first I was just
when she first said it, I thinkthat I don't even remember like,
I just remember seeing blank.

(52:47):
And then it really hit and Ijust broke down in the middle of
a highway while I'm driving. Andmy friend Stephanie had to pull
the car over. And then my cousinMarla called, or wrote me on
Instagram right after that andwas like, hey, I need to talk to
you please call me. And so withScott, I have a lot of regret,
because I felt like I was doingeverything right, because I

(53:09):
follow that direction of, youknow, love them where they're
at, cut your ties and let themfigure it out. But then the day
never came for him to figure itout. And now he's no longer
here. And at the time of hispassing, we weren't on the best
of terms. So I have a lot ofregret about that. But I've

(53:30):
also, you know, I say familymembers, but it includes
friends. Like I feel like thecries of those who suffer from
watching somebody in addiction.
The cries never stopped. Youknow, they never stopped,
whether they're here whetherthey've overdosed, whether
they're just using every day, orwhether they've overdosed and
passed, it just it doesn't stop.

(53:52):
Thankfully, for me, my workfamily truly got me through this
because I don't have any familyup here. And with the support of
my office, you know, I feellike, throughout, you know, all
the tears that I've cried, thepeople are probably like
Chelsea, you're not allowed inmy office anymore, right?
Because you're just gonna comein here and you're gonna cry,
it's gonna become a therapysession. But I really feel like

(54:14):
my voice has been found. And soI've been able to become
involved with the advocacy workand not only share my story in
hopes of bringing, you know,motivation to people and
inspiration, but you know, to Ijust want to have those
uncomfortable conversations thatpeople are scared to talk about,
right? When I first of all, Inever thought that I'd be

(54:34):
working for the federalgovernment. Never thought that
I'd be working for you know,working with the DEA and FBI
every day. You know, because Iwas I was always the kid who
wasn't going to make it. I wasalways the kid that would end up
having kids young dropping outof high school. I graduated high
school a year early. I got myassociates degree. I was the
first in my family to hold anykind of college degree and then

(54:56):
on the twins birthday this yearNovember 6, was my last day of
my undergrad degree. And so Ifinished my bachelor's degree
CUSUM, Laude. And really, I wasreally struggling after Scott
passed, and I wanted to quitschool so bad. But Steven always
pushed the fact that they neverwent to college. And then they

(55:18):
wanted to make sure that we wentto college. And so I use that,
and you have two choices inlife, right? So when you go
through something, you caneither sit and dwell on it,
which is often the easiest thingto do, right? Or you can really
like reflect on it, and reallyuse that as like a purpose
pusher, right? And so for me,that's what I chose to do with

(55:39):
it. And so when I wanted to quitschool, I literally had a
picture of scones, even at mydesk, I have it on my background
of my work computer. And anytimethat I have my son's picture,
right here, oh, you can't seeit, because

Jen (55:56):
it right in front of your face.

Chelsea (55:58):
Oh, and so, you know, like you, you have a choice,
either see the negative or theor the positive. And sometimes,
like when you're going throughthe Grid of Things, it's easier
to just avoid things or not talkabout things. And when I first
started this job, I've been herefor three and a half years. And
I've had the privilege ofworking with some of the best
not even best attorneys I'veever known, but like, truly the

(56:20):
most compassionate people. AndI'm so grateful for my work
family and at VA. And I don'teven know where I was going with
this, I just lost my train ofthought,

Jen (56:30):
Well, so here's one of the questions that I you know, I
want to bring in because it'sfor all of his personal I'm just
say it like this is that itsounds like at some point, you
made a decision to get your shittogether, for lack of better
turn at the moment, get yourshit together and do something

(56:52):
with your life to the pointwhere you are working in the
government. And like, you know,you're doing so many amazing
things. And you're working withso many interesting people that
are in this in this field, someof them that have been touched,
or on the legal side of justlike how can we I guess maybe

(57:18):
better support a system that wasnever designed. Because this is
a lot of times we talk about,quote unquote, the broken
system, right? I look at it aswe're working within a system
that wasn't designed to do whatwe're asking it to do. And so
there are some holes that weneed to start looking at maybe

(57:39):
filling and it sounds like likeyour office, and like some of
the organizations are startingto look at the system and go,
How can we design a system thatbetter supports what we need and
what we're asking it to do notnecessarily that it's quote,
unquote, a broken system,

Chelsea (57:58):
just because you could say it's broken on many levels.
But now I remember my thoughtthat I was in. Yeah, so when I
first started working here,almost four years ago, I never
in a million years probablywould have disclosing
information about my family,right? Because as I was telling
you earlier, I'm working withlike these great attorneys,
right, that went to like Harvardand Yale and like, you know,

(58:19):
other law schools also, butlike, they're going to like
these Ivy League schools, theycome from like, the super
strong, foundational offamilies. And so you don't want
to be that one that's like, oh,well, I'm a loner, you know,
everybody in my family, everyonein my bloodline, you know,
suffers from addiction ordepression, because it can be
depressing, because for so long,they're labeled as those people,
right. But now, I cannot tellyou how many times like I've

(58:45):
shared my story, just one on onewith people. And they either
break down and start crying withme. And for one of many reasons
could be they find, they tell melike, Oh, your story is so
inspirational. You're socourageous, you're so brave.
Okay, got it. They could alsodisclose the fact that they
themselves have have experiencedsomebody, you know, suffering

(59:09):
from substance use disorder orlost somebody to addiction. They
themselves may have at onepoint, suffered from addiction
and overcome it. So it's like,sometimes, it's, we don't want
to have these conversationsbecause we fear what others may
think of us. Right? And sothat's a big thing of people.
Like in life, you care what Idon't care what nobody says you

(59:31):
care what other people thinkabout you. And so, a lot of
times we don't want to havethose conversations, but that's
what I want to do. I want tohave those conversations. I want
that foster kid in the audienceto be like, it's not that my
family doesn't want me it's thatI'm destined for more. I want to
serve as a liaison for those whoare no longer here with us to
continue sharing their stories.
Just recently, I guess aboutthree weeks ago now I was

(59:55):
afforded the opportunity to goto the DEA is family. summit in
DC, and I got to meet the theadministrator and the Deputy
Administrator of the DEA, I gotto sit and have a talk like a 20
minute conversation with theAttorney General for the United
States. And I got to present mystory in front of people, you
know, and every day, I justremind myself, you know, working
overdose cases is hard onanybody, but when you've lost

(01:00:17):
somebody, this close to you. Youknow, when I see some of the
pictures from the from thescenes, you know, I can't help
but to think was my brotherfound in this position? Were
these measures taken on mybrother? Is this what he looked
like with the with the IO needlein his way, you know, like,
there's things that you just andit's self torture it is. But as

(01:00:37):
humans, that's what we do,right? But a bigger part of me
find so much more purpose in mywork. And it just makes me
continuously think about wherecan I step in to try to
implement change? It's a crisisthat we're dealing with right
now. The Fentanyl crisis is, isit's insane. Right. But in a lot
of people feel like no matterhow hard you fight, you can't

(01:01:00):
get them on, which is probablycorrect. I can't say that. I
don't disagree with thatstatement. But even if we're
just getting one off of thestreets, that's one less person
that's dispensing it, that'scirculating it. Yeah. I mean,

Jen (01:01:13):
it kind of goes back to the, the classic like starfish
story, where, you know, you mayhave 1000s, and 1000s of
starfish, you're throwing backin the sea, and you can't get
them all. But to that one thatyou did get it matters, right.
You know, so that's

Chelsea (01:01:30):
just, that's just where I'm at with it. And since since
joining the silent Amour group,through our job, I've also been
able to get my younger brotherBobby into recovery, he actually
reached out that he was justgonna go to detox. Again, he
didn't have anywhere else to go.
And he had been through detox somany times, because let's think

(01:01:51):
about our detox systems, you gothrough seven days, and then
they release you when you're onyour own again, well, guess
what? The releasing you backinto the environment where all
you know, is the drugs,everybody you know, is the
drugs. Yeah. So support there.
Right. And so I was able toactually get him into the
Journey House Foundation. And hehas, he should be picking up his

(01:02:12):
60 Day chip in just a couple ofweeks. So like I said, God works
in I won't say funny ways,because sometimes I don't think
it's funny at all. But hedefinitely works in mysterious
ways. And I truly believe that.
Sometimes it's not, you're notgoing through things for you.
Because I was angry, I was angryfor a long time in my

(01:02:33):
upbringing, like, Why do I haveto be the one go into foster
care, but now like, I'm sothankful I went through it not
only because I feel like that'swhat kept me from going down the
same path. But because now I canshare my story and maybe find
other foster kids who may wantto go down that path, but show
them that, you know, yourcurrent situation doesn't
determine your future outcome oryour future path. You know,

(01:02:55):
like, you can always overcomeit, whether I didn't I had no
support. So I was a lone ranger.
Now, you know, I'm with my son'sfather, who is, I don't know
what I'd be doing without him. Idefinitely wouldn't have my son,
obviously. But, you know, onceyou get older, and you can make
those decisions, you have fullcontrol of your life. And the

(01:03:20):
decisions that you make today,you may not think, you know, may
matter tomorrow, but they do andthe decisions that other people
make for you can suck today. Butthen tomorrow can be you know,
your saving grace that youdidn't realize. So that's just
the that's just what I want tospread and sharing my story.

Jen (01:03:38):
Yeah. And, you know, I think you're hitting on
something really important. Andsomething that has to absolutely
do with addiction, as well, is,you know, a lot of people, it's,
there's definitely going to bethat mental health component
that we don't have control over.
Yeah, but the choices on how tomanage that is where it's like,
we're still making choices. Youknow, we're still we don't have

(01:04:01):
to live this way, it doesn'tmean that, you know, we can just
either just stop and thinkeverything's going to be better.
But there are things that we cando to make and help us work
through some differentdecisions, and deal with our
mental health in a way that'sactually mentally healthy.

Chelsea (01:04:26):
And I think another really important thing that I
don't think people think about,and I didn't until recently is,
all of your problems didn'thappen overnight, right? So
they're not gonna get fixedovernight, you know, like,
something that took like, ifyou've been in addiction for 10
years, guess what it may takeyou 25 years of sobriety to
actually feel like you've gottena hold of it. And I think that

(01:04:48):
that's important, because everyday every moment, every step
really matters, right? And itmay be hard to see that when
you're at the bottom of thestaircase. But then once you get
up you're like, look, the past25 years of my life, I've
actually gone Pretty. I don'twant to say pretty high, because
I don't think that's appropriateterm to use in this context. But
you know, you've you've come faraway. Yeah. Right. And so that's

(01:05:10):
important to keep in mind is, itdidn't all happen overnight.
It's not it's like I tell myselfevery day as I'm trying to lose
weight, I didn't pack on allthis weight overnight, it's not
going to go away overnight. So Ijust always try to keep that in
mind as well. Yeah.

Jen (01:05:25):
Well, I will, I want to thank you one for just being on
your podcast and sharing that,like, we got to talk about it.
Because I'm, I'm a big believerof like, no matter how
uncomfortable, sad or whatever,like, we really want to talk
about it. Because like you said,earlier, it's, when we start
talking about it, we give otherpeople space to start talking

(01:05:47):
about it, right. And we need totalk and it just is, it's, it's
like, if we're dealing with theshame around it, like, that's
our journey, we need to work onthe shame that we have around
it, that prevents us fromtalking about it. But our life
is it just is things that happendoesn't mean that's who we are,
right? And who we are is what weget to decide who we are and how

(01:06:09):
much we're worth is what we getto decide of how much we're
worth and all those things. So Iwant to thank you. One last
question. Before we wrap up isfor those families out there,
what would be like the one thingthat you would tell the families
listening? Just anything? Iknow, that's a really broad
question, but what would youwant the families out there to

(01:06:29):
know?

Chelsea (01:06:31):
This, keep loving your family? If they're even if
they're in addiction, just lovethem? Because they may not be
here tomorrow.

Jen (01:06:40):
That is so just powerful.
And what a great message of justkeep loving them. Well, thank
you. And thank you for comingon. And one just sharing about
your brothers. I know this isreally hard is was really raw.
So I just appreciate that veryquickly, when your second

(01:07:01):
brother died of like, you'relike, Okay, time to take action,
I want to do something. Let's,let's do this. And it's
uncomfortable, and we're goingto do it anyway. And I think
that's really powerful. So thankyou.

Chelsea (01:07:16):
Yeah, and I don't think it happened. Like when he
passed, I don't think that wasthe first thing that came to
mind, or second, or third orfourth or fifth. And I don't
think that had my coworkers fromRichmond sent the email out, I'm
not sure how or when I wouldhave gotten involved in, like I
said, you know, support comes inmany different ways. It doesn't
just come and family, you canhave a broken family and still

(01:07:36):
have the support, you need tomake a difference. And I think
that that is key. And that iswhat I'm most grateful for is
you know, I have the family thatI've created now with with
Korean I'd say in the girls and,but also my work family. And you
know, it's easy to say, Hey, I'mgonna work my eight to five and
go home. But when you have afamily at work, it helps so much
because it doesn't make it feellike work. But then in

(01:07:59):
situations like mine, you know,I found a new purpose in my life
and my voice and for that I willbe forever indebted to EDA and
the family that fear. Right,

Jen (01:08:08):
thank you. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was
a really powerful conversationto have it really appreciate
your your time. And thank youfor listening to this podcast.
If you want to listen to more orfind more information out about
this podcast, and more of what Ido to help families you can go
check out my page at unbreakableboundaries podcast.com. It's

(01:08:29):
full of other great podcastsjust like this one and other
great resources to look through.
And please remember to sharethis podcast with others you
never know who may need to hearthis. People are often hiding
their battles in this arena andsharing is a great way to
provide this valuable resourceto a person you may not even
know who needs it. And don'tforget there is always hope even

(01:08:50):
when things seem the mosthelpless.