𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐁𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐰𝐧 𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 (𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐖𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐲) 🚀

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Winning is a lifestyle that you live day in
and day out.
It's not just this one event atone given time that comes with
this particular status.
It is a daily thing, and justbecause you didn't win in your
career or your relationship thatday doesn't mean you can't win
in your finances or whateverother area you have in your life

(00:22):
whatever other area you have inyour life.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hey, uncommon Leaders , welcome back.
This is the Uncommon LeaderPodcast.
I'm your host, john Gallagher,today.
It's about time to come upclutch.
We're going to have aninterview with a friend of mine
now and we've had a chance tochat beforehand in a couple of
different ways.
I'm pretty excited.
Jr Reid he's a TEDx speaker.
He is a pro and executive coachfor those in the sports world.

(00:54):
I'm looking forward to hearingsome of about that and beyond.
Ultimately, he's going to tellus about the unwavering belief
that you're just one win awayfrom something.
Now, you're going to have towait and listen in to what the
answer to that one thing is, butI know that he's going to talk
about how we deal with pressure.

(01:14):
He's going to talk about how wedeal with life, and he's going
to do it in a way that's goingto bring a lot of energy to the
listeners of the Uncommon LeaderPodcast.
So, jr Reid, welcome to theUncommon Leader Podcast.
How are you doing today?

Speaker 1 (01:26):
John, it's great to be here, my man.
I'm doing great.
How about you?

Speaker 2 (01:31):
I'm doing well and I'm excited about our
conversation, and I'll start youoff with the question that I
always start my first timeguests.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
We have a lot of fun with this question and it can
conjure up a lot in terms ofconnecting in.
But what's a story from yourchildhood that still impacts who
you are today, as a person oras a leader man?
This is a fun question.
So here's my disclaimer.
My disclaimer is I had greatparents.
I grew up in a great home, twowonderful parents.

(02:02):
They loved me to death.
So I just I got to put thatdisclaimer on.
But one day as a kid I don'tknow something must have
happened between my dad and I.
I got him really mad and I justremember crying hysterically
and I must have been I don'tknow, been I don't know 10, 9,

(02:31):
10 years old.
But back then now I'm datingmyself I went down to my counter
in the kitchen at my childhoodhome and I opened up the phone
book that my mom had writtendown all the addresses and phone
numbers, and I found my littleleague coach.
I found his name and his numberand I went, turned to the left,
picked up the phone with thecord you know those things we

(02:51):
used to have and I called him,hysterically, crying.
I said, coach, I just got thisfight with my dad and this and
that, this and that right, andhe just listened and then he
coached me on how to handlemyself in that moment and then
how to handle my dad in thatmoment.

(03:13):
I'm so glad you asked thisquestion because I haven't gone
back to that moment in a very,very long time and that is why I
do what I do today.
It's because, you know, Ibelieve every single person
needs that one person, that onecoach that they could call when

(03:35):
life feels like it's justhitting them so hard and they
need to get out of their own wayin that moment and they need to
get in a way, that they need toget prepared in a way to move
forward so they don't stay inthat moment.
And honestly, john, I meanthat's what you do, that's what
I do Like that moment will stickwith me until I'm six feet

(03:57):
under, you know and there's somuch that I love about that
story.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
One is just thinking about nine and 10 and some of
those stories.
With my dad as well.
I did play sports also.
I can't imagine calling up thatbaseball coach if you will, but
it is that 3 am friend that weneed today that we got a problem
man.
We need someone that we cancall who's going to be there,

(04:21):
and if we said I need you tomeet me here tomorrow at my
house and we need to go throughthis because I'm really
struggling with it, that theydrive six hours to make sure
that that happens, kind of thing, or they'd get on an airplane
and be there for you.
I just had a recent situationwhere my dad's passed a couple
months ago and you find outultimately who he's impacted in

(04:46):
his life, but also those whohave been close to you.
And having two of my dearfriends surprise me at the
funeral home to come and supportme one who flew in and one who
drove hours in those are thoseindividuals, those phone numbers
in the phone book that you needto be able to count on in your
future.
Love that story and sharing itand understanding it.

(05:06):
And then there's the old cordon the telephone.
So how long was your cord?
Could you stretch into theother room to be secretive?

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Hey, that was my mom's phone man.
In this little short Italian.
That thing could stretch.
I felt like it could stretch tothe next neighbor's house.
That thing was so long, butyeah, I was just like Mom.
Why do you need this long of acord for crying?

Speaker 2 (05:30):
out loud.
Yeah, it was fun.
There's something we weretalking about Just hold it down,
so it spins and spins and spinsuntil you get it and it's not
tangled up anymore.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
People wonder why I became such a great athlete.
It's because when I camedownstairs and went into the
kitchen, the cord was stretchedfrom the wall to where she was
sitting and I had to do hurdlesall the time over the cord while
she was having her coffee andcoffee cake.
Man, it was fun times back inthe day.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
So good, it's going to be great to have a
conversation with you, but Iwant to start you off a little
bit.
What I chatted about in thekickoff, and that was this
statement that opens up your bioyou say we're one win away from
a completely different blank.
So what is it that we're onewin away from and, ultimately,
how do you use that philosophyin your coaching today?

Speaker 1 (06:17):
Well, it's really fill in your own blank.
You know, as athletes and Ifound this both when I played as
an athlete and obviously I'mfortunate to get to work with
the highest level of athletesnow and highest level executives
and we get so caught up on thebig deal that when we have a win

(06:49):
, we don't realize that it's awin and that it's fueling
forward progress and momentum,and that's just it.
I found when we're focused onthe big thing so much and then
we realize where we're at todayand we see this big gap, it's
almost like, oh shoot, I'mfailing.

(07:10):
Oh, shoot, man, I'm never goingto get there.
Do I even have enough to get?
Like it's all of those thoughtsand that's why I say hey look,
you're just one win away frommore momentum towards filling
that gap, towards, you know,closing that deal, towards
crossing that goal line.
So I it's just it's somethingI've said over and over again

(07:33):
because, john, I I feel likewe're overlooking the power of
the wind instead of this massivewin that we think we need to
feel great, to look great and tofeel like we're making progress
.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
I love that.
I think about that because whenI coach individuals now, the
first question I ask them intheir template each coaching
call is what's been your biggestwin since we last talked?
And so many times you talkabout that win since we last
talked and so many times youtalk about that.
They're looking for thatoutcome that they talk about and
they're like oh, I landed a newjob that was worth $5 million

(08:12):
for us as a company, or I wasable to complete this event in
47 minutes instead of 25 orwhatever that is.
And so when they think aboutthat big win, too many times
like I can't really think of awin over the past two weeks
exactly, and we're like no, no I, so I've I've, by the way, I've

(08:34):
eliminated that adjective andperiod like.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
So I, like you, caught myself all the time
asking, hey, what's what's beena big win this week, or what's
your top three, or whatever.
I just stopped and I was like,hey, I'm just curious what?
When you got this week, andit's, and it's, it's shifted
especially for my longtimeclients.
It's shifted from yeah, the bigthing, to like man, I got to

(08:59):
walk around the block with mydaughter this week.
Amen, that's a huge see, Ialmost said it, huge win, that's
a win, you know.
So that's what I'm saying.
That walk around the block withyour daughter, that's what I'm
talking about.
That's a win.
You're one win away.
That walk puts you that muchcloser to whatever success you

(09:23):
want to have, in whatever arena,even with your daughter in this
case.
Because you, you were there,you were present in that.
That wind fueled you, it fueledyour soul, it fueled your brain
, it fueled your body, and I'mtelling you, that's just how
momentum works.
You know, this is an athlete,john.
We got that fuel.

(09:44):
Gosh, gosh, darn it.
We're going to be more preparedto, to be a better husband,
father, leader, wherever thecase may be.
Fill in your own blank fill inyour own blank.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
I love that.
Fill in your own blank, andthat's that is so cool.
You know I just finishedreading a book and I know you
know we are readers, to say theleast and it was written by a
navy.
And he talked about hell week alittle bit within that, and he
was on one of the teams thattook care of Osama bin Laden at
the time.
But he said you know, if I hadto look at hell week and I only
looked at the win was to getthrough hell week and not quit.

(10:16):
I would have quit on day one.
And he talked about the exerciseof the when they lay down on
the beach arm and arm arm witheach other and they don't know
how long they're going to haveto take that cold water on over
and over again.
He says I just had to changethe horizon of the wind, bring
it in closer.
He said I just need to getthrough the next five waves and

(10:36):
that's the wind.
Let's celebrate that wind andunderstand what that is.
That helped me so much justbefore.
The timing of it was perfect Idon't think it was accidental
before I did my first Spartanrace and just don't worry about
getting to the end of the race.
Just get to the next obstacleand work your way to the next
obstacle and then assess that.
So cool.
I love that.

(10:56):
Fill in the blank as you talkabout it.
You mentioned and a lot oftimes we put pressure on
yourselves.
That's a big part of what youcoach is thriving under intense
pressure.
Navy SEALs are under intensepressure.
What's your take on pressureand how that impacts how we
celebrate our wins?

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, it's rare.
I mean, it's real, not rare,it's not rare, it's every day,
multiple times a day.
It's real, it's real.
Now, is it unrealistic?
Sometimes, yes, is itoverpowering?
Sometimes, yes, but again,people want to talk about

(11:37):
pressure all the time.
And I just had gotten thisconversation with one of my
Major League Baseball playersand he was talking about the P
word, as we call it, and I saidman, what is it?
And he's like yeah, man, well,you know, I got my family now
and I got my kids and I justsigned this big contract.
And he was just going on and on, and on, and on and on and on.

(11:59):
I said interesting, what aboutthe game?
And he goes what?
I said yeah, what about thegame?
You're playing baseball, right?
I said, yeah, you haven'tmentioned anything about
baseball yet and you should havesaw the look on his face.
It's almost like he had anepiphany.

(12:19):
I said do you realize you'refocused on all of these other
things that have nothing to dowith you playing the game?
He goes whoa, yeah, they do,because if I don't perform, then
I can't put food on the table,then I can't live this lifestyle
, then I can't, then I can't,then I can't.
I said, hmm, seems like wefound the root of your pressure,

(12:40):
john.
To me it's.
And again, this is not like wejust flip a switch and it's
there.
A lot of this is in the reframe, a lot of this is in our
perspective, and this is why I'mso big on focus.
I basically tell my clients, inany conversation I have around

(13:01):
just this human performanceworld, I say you know what?
Life is one big transition.
We transition between moments,we transition between roles, you
know, from entrepreneur tohusband to father, whatever
Transition between seasons.
If we start looking at lifethrough that lens, then it's all

(13:22):
about oh, I'm moving from thisto that, all right, how do I get
prepared?
Oh, I'm moving from this tothat, all right, how do I get
prepared?
Oh, I'm moving from this tothis, how do I get prepared?
We're staying in the moment andthen all the other stuff can't
get in the way because we'refocused on what we can manage in
that moment or in that role orin that season.
And then we go, okay, got tomake this transition, got to

(13:43):
make this transition.
What's happening is we're notfocused on this as a transition
and it's creating this emotionalresidue.
We're just carrying it with uswherever we go.
And next thing, you know it,all these other things are
forcing us to just hold on to it, hold on to it, hold on to it.

(14:07):
And then, all of a sudden, youknow the whole saying about
carrying baggage.
Well, that's where it comesfrom our our minds can only take
so much, and when they'reoverloaded, our brain goes into
fight or flight and then we'rejust completely off our rocker,
our nervous system's out ofcontrol.
And then guess what happenswhen our body is talking to our

(14:29):
brain and our brain's talking toour body and in it's saying
there's multiple bears in frontof you.
You better run fast.
That's pressure.
That's I better.
This is my life.
I better run hard and run fast.
That's what this is really.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
That's what's really happened, john well, the good
thing is, as a coach, you nevergo through those transitions
right, because you got it in thebag, everything I got figured
out, oh yeah I got, I gotfigured out.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
there's me and Jesus baby.
I got it figured, that's right.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, right, right there, you know, like one A on
the on the on the chart, no, butI mean so.
We all experience that and thegood part about it that, from a
vulnerability standpoint, isfirst when you can help folks
become aware of that and alsorecognize.
You even touched on this as youlook back at back to that nine
year old story-year-old storyabout not even thinking about

(15:24):
how that's impacted you today.
There are different things thatyou must use to become aware.
So what are one or two habitsyou have to chase those bears so
that you can focus and staypresent in the moment.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, I'm glad you loop back to that story of
childhood because think aboutthat moment.
So that was a moment, that wasa life moment.
I had a transition.
That coach in that moment Now Ididn't even realize it at the
time, I was fricking nine or 10years old, right he helped me
transition to my next moment, heprepared, he helped me and this

(16:01):
is what I tell guys I said,look, I don't like the term.
I mean you heard this as anathlete control the
controllables.
Sure, yeah, I heard all thetime.
Well then I did a lot morenerdy study on science and I
realized we have 37 trillionplus cells in our body all

(16:21):
running at a time.
Let's say we don't even believein God.
If you think you can controlall 37 trillion cells in your
body at one given time, call meplease.
I need to meet you and have youon the show.
If you do believe in God whichI'm assuming a lot of your
listeners do, just like you andme believe in God, which I'm
assuming a lot of your listenersdo, just like you and me we

(16:42):
know that he is in full control.
We never have full control.
He has full control.
So I don't like the controlword.
I like the manage word and Iknow it's a cheesy play on words
, but follow me for a minute.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
I say manage your manageables.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Like that, because just the word switch from
control to manage takes pressure.
Speaking of pressure, it takespressure off me.
I don't have to controleverything, I could just manage
it.
And one way I help my clientsdo it I do it all the time is I
talk about scan and respond.

(17:19):
So I have this clutch recipe.
Probably won't get into ittoday, but the first ingredient
is manage, of course, and I talkabout managing your mind, your
heart and your body.
Okay, so the first part in thatingredient is the scan piece.
So I always say scan from topto bottom, respond from bottom

(17:41):
to top.
Okay, okay, so follow me.
Mind's at the top, heart is inthe middle, body's on the bottom
.
Okay, so I go all right, whatare your primary thoughts right
now?
Scan it, what's going on inyour head?
We're creating awareness, okay,I know, and I, having had
previous discussions with youand doing a podcast episode for

(18:02):
me, I know you know howimportant awareness is.
That creates awareness.
Then I go down the heart.
What are you feeling right now?
And especially if you had amale, highly driven male leader,
let's see to your show.
We don't like the heart thingbecause it's soft.
Oh, jr, here we're going totalk about feelings.

(18:24):
Well, you know what?
If you knew human performancescience, you better know about
your feelings, because there'sthis thing called emotional
regulation that controls how werespond physically.
But we won't get into thatwormhole.
So your heart, what am Ifeeling right now?
So we just took inventory onour mind, we scanned our heart,
we took inventory on what we'refeeling.
Then it's as a result of whatI'm thinking and feeling, how is

(18:49):
my body responding?
Am I sweating?
Is my heart rate up?
Am I cramping?
Because here's the deal, if weknow our heart rate's out, well,
guess what we do when we startto respond.
We go oh shoot, my heart rate'sreally high right now.
I'm about to go in an importantmeeting or important moment or

(19:12):
a switch from entrepreneur tohusband or father mode or spouse
mode, whatever.
Maybe I should slow mybreathing down.
Maybe I should slow mybreathing down.
Maybe I should respond.
Maybe I should just go take awalk and just chill out for a
couple minutes.
Maybe I just need to sit in mycar in the driveway before I

(19:33):
open the front door and close myeyes.
So we scan our mind, heart andbody and're we're going to
respond bottom up.
I always say leverage your bodyto affect your mind.
See a lot of men and a lot andthis is how I grew up, john,
especially as an athlete talkyourself out of your situation.

(19:54):
Self-talk, self-talk, self-talk, self-talk.
And one of my mentors said saidthis to he's in the energy
psychology space.
He said JR, you can never thinkyour way out of a problem.
You have this body.
Your body knows how to regulateyour nervous system.
Use it.
So I always say respond withbody first, because you're going

(20:16):
to know if you did scanproperly, you're going to know
how your body responded.
And then move back up to theheart.
All right, in this next moment,or in this next role, how do I
want to feel?
Well, I want to feel excited, Iwant to feel alive.
I want to fill in your blank.
And then, what's my primarythought?

(20:37):
So back to the mind.
Now that I'm transitioning tothat next thing, how do I want
to think?
So, think about what we just did, john.
We managed our mind, heart andbody by scanning first.
Then we got our body in placeto go to our next thing.
We got our body under control,okay, in a better state of
management, and then we'refocused on a feeling.

(20:58):
So again our brain finds whatwe're looking for.
So if we said we want to feelmore joy, we're going on a
feeling.
So again our brain finds whatwe're looking for.
So if we're look, if we said wewant to feel more joy, we're
going to look for more joyinstead of the guy who just cut
me off on the road and then andthen we're going to have a
saying or a phrase or somethingwe want to think heading into
that thing.
If you execute on those, jerboy, that takes 10, 15 minutes.

(21:23):
Actually that takes some of myMajor League Baseball players
seconds between pitches.
So if they can do it betweenpitches, your butts can do it in
a couple of minutes.
Between long day at work to Iget to go home.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Hey Uncommon Leaders, hope you're enjoying the
episode.
So far, I believe in doingbusiness with people you like
and trust.
Between long day at work to, Iget to go home consultation call
with one of their expert brandstrategists.
They'll help you identify youruniqueness, craft a compelling
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So head on over tocoachjohngallaghercom slash BBG,

(22:09):
as in Brand Builders Group, toschedule your free call and take
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That's coachjohngallaghercomslash BBG.
Now let's get back to theepisode.
Man, you talked about this, thislike.
There's so many things goingthrough my mind as you say that
too.
There's a quote that my teachertold me.
He says it's easier to act yourway in a new way of thinking
than it is to think your way ina new way of acting.

(22:30):
Very much like what you talkedabout in terms of up and down.
I love that and I love thebottom up theory.
That's the conscious part of it.
You have to be conscious at thestart, but what you're saying
is that if we do that enough,it's hard at the start.
It's just like exercise, but weclaim to be an athlete.

(22:52):
We want to be an athlete interms of how we feel, so we must
go to the gym to turn into anathlete or a fit person, and
it's so much work at the start,but it just becomes part of who
you are.
I've had a CEO that I coachedwho said it's just a reflex.
You don't think about pickingthe water bottle up and taking a
drink.
It's just something you do.
You are thirsty, therefore youpick up your cup to take a drink

(23:13):
, or there's something in yourthroat, so you're going backward
with that.
You're not thinking about itfor two minutes to say should I
take a drink or should I not.
It moves from consciously awareto something to unconsciously
aware of it.
That's how the best athletes doit, because they don't have to
think about it.
It just becomes part of whothey are.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
But we've got to practice it first, a hundred
percent.
A hundred percent.
And, john, a lot of leaders outthere are missing this mind,
heart, body connection.
And if there's nothing, ifthere's one thing your listeners
today take away from ourconversation, it's we have to
connect these three items.

(23:58):
We have to.
That's just how God wired us.
He wired our minds, our heartsand our bodies to all work
together.
Jr, how could you say that?
All right, when you cry afteran event?
Well, think about it.
If an event happens, someonepasses away, your mind goes oh

(24:19):
my gosh, this just happened.
Well, guess what our heart?
Now?
We're feeling sad.
What happens to our body?
We start crying.
That's our body's naturalmechanism to deal with what
we're thinking and feeling.
We're crying to help actuallycalm our nervous system down.
So that's what I'm saying let'snot deny how God made us.

(24:42):
Let's leverage how God made usto help us become better people,
both in the moment, in ourroles and in key seasons of our
lives.
So good.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
Mind, heart, body.
Back up body, heart, mind,starting to feel pressure, Palms
will start to sweat.
I'm able to say well, Irecognize that I need to do
something different.
I need to take an action, dosomething different so that I'll
feel different and ultimatelybe more successful.
Love that mind, heart, body.
As you go through it, you knowyou got a story, that of a

(25:13):
person that you've worked withthat was really successful
successful at it.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, actually it's.
It's funny you ask thisquestion Just this week.
I got to be careful how much ofthe story I give away because I
don't want to give away myclient.
But he ended up becoming aplayer of the week this week in
Major League Baseball.
And you know it's not his firstyear he's been around the block

(25:39):
.
He's had a rough, rough season,had an absolute rough season
last year.
Calls me in january, we go wayback.
He's like I want to work withyou, okay, great.
And you know I'm throwing outsome of this stuff with him,
thinking he's been, he's learnedit, and he's like no, I've
never really done this like this, I've never really done this,
okay, okay.

(26:00):
So I basically shared him toshared with him the clutch
recipe.
I said, look, we're going tofocus on the managing ingredient
right now, exactly Everythingwe just talked about.
John.
And next thing, you know hestarts the season.
I mean he didn't make theopening day roster, gets sent
down to trip.
Imagine this, imagine this,imagine this you at one point

(26:24):
were one of the hottest hittersin Major League Baseball.
Don't make the opening dayroster.
Okay, most guys talk aboutpressure.
You have two kids, you have afamily, like that's pressure,
right, yeah, I'm sticking to theprocess, I'm sticking to the
process, sticking to the process.
I'm sticking to the process,I'm sticking to the process.
He goes, starts his season andAAA just blows it up, right,

(26:45):
Gets sent up for a day, faces apitcher, doesn't have his best
game, gets sent down the nextday.
You want to talk about feelingit Okay, but he's stuck with the
process.
Stuck with the process.
Hey, I'm going to do thesesteps every single day.
I'm going to do it every day.
I'm going to do it when I'mplaying.
I'm going to do it when I'mtransitioning to father mode.

(27:06):
Like he's doing it, john, andgets called up again.
And the thing is, you know, withMajor League Baseball games
they're more available.
So you're watching it, so I'mwatching this in real time.
And he gets up to the plate,backs off, grabs his bat, he
closes his eyes, he takes hisbreath Like no joke, man, you

(27:30):
don't see players doing thiscorrectly and in this order.
And he's been doing it.
He's been doing it.
He's been doing it.
He is the hottest hitter inbaseball right now doing it.
He is the hottest hitter inbaseball right now.
I'm watching it before my eyeswith a guy who's believed in it,
believed in the process, donethe work.
Like you said, it takes work.
He's done the work and now it'sbecome second nature to where

(27:54):
he just goes in that thing andhe is just smooth as can be.
Yeah, it works.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
I love that story.
Again, don't worry about who itis, leaders, when you listen to
that story.
We work so hard to get to acertain level of success and
then we forget about what got usthere to a certain point Again,
get distracted again, walk awayfrom that success oh, I got

(28:23):
that down, I don't have to worryabout that anymore.
And the ball starts to rollback downhill again and you're
like you got to get back tothose habits, those disciplines
that kept you there until theyultimately become just a reflex.
I can't imagine the pride thatyou felt in watching that and
seeing that breath and like Iknow he's going through, oh man,

(28:44):
the three steps up and I knowwe're going through it.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
It's the mic drop moment you're like I'm done I
just so proud of him because Isaw a kid who just believed in
the process.
But I I do have to mentionsomething here, john, you just
said it Like we forgot what madeus successful, we forgot what

(29:07):
got us there.
That's identity.
That is an identity play, andso much of the work I'm doing is
identity-based performance workBecause, again, whether it's
becoming adults or becoming aCEO or whatever, reaching the
highest level in sports, I don'tcare what it is we forget who

(29:30):
we are and, most importantly,who we're becoming.
And as soon as we lose thatidentity everything— do you want
to talk about pressure?
Because now pressure seeps in,because we're so worried about
what other people are saying anddoing and what have you that
our identity goes out the window.
And next thing, you know it,how could we align our actions

(29:51):
with our identity if we forgotwho we are?

Speaker 2 (29:57):
how do we forget?
Why do we?

Speaker 1 (30:00):
We get caught up in the wrong dang things, man, but
you know, honestly, distractionis there.
Go back to how we started thisconversation Again, jr.
Do you have all the research toback this up?
No, I just have a lot ofstories and I have my own story.
You get so caught up in the gapbetween where you're at today

(30:25):
and where you want to be thatwhen you're seeing things
through the lens of failure orslow pace, that's where I feel
like the identity is lost.
In a lot of times, it's becausewe're too focused on the wrong
things and, in this case, thegap there's something I love

(30:47):
using movies.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
Just you know, sound like mr miyagi here paint the
fence, paint the fence man, anddo it like this.
Don't ask why at the start,like, as a coach, we have to do
that sometimes until it becomespart of who they are, and like,
oh, that's why you were doingthat.
Again, whether it's the coachwhen we were nine years old

(31:08):
asking us to put the glove onthe ground to catch a ground
ball, even though it might hitus in the chest, there's a
reason.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
You know, I'm sure you have parents listening to
this show too.
I just had a go here with myson.
Sure you have parents listeningto this show too.
I just had a go here with myson.
So, 13 year old son lovesbaseball, wants to, you know,
play in the big league someday.
This is what he tells me backin 20,.
We went to the world series in2021 and, no joke, john, this
was crazy.
Like I did not expect it.
So my son was this same son was10.

(31:38):
Yeah, 10 years old.
And and the big screen you knowhis big screens on the right in
right, center field in houston.
And he goes dad, you're gonnasee me on that billboard someday
.
I was like what?
Okay, let's go, all right,let's go man.
So, interestingly, so he's 13and got invited to do this

(32:00):
showcase type deal, okay.
So I knew what was about tohappen.
I knew he was going to show up.
The kid hasn't hit puberty yet,playing with 14 and 15-year-old
men.
And again, you know, 13 too isa vulnerable age in terms of
identity and figuring out whothey are.
I mean, golly, I don't need togo into that age in terms of

(32:22):
identity and figuring out whothey are.
I mean, golly, I don't need togo into that but constant,
constant conversation betweenhim and I.
Hey, bud, hey, I just want tolet you know why we're here.
We're here to get your numbers.
We're here to see where you'reat.
We're here to see what we needto improve on.
We're here to see, like it wasconstantly about him and his
journey and nothing to do withwho he was playing against.

(32:44):
So my clockwork, we show up andthere's a kid.
There's a kid on his team, john, that just turned 14.
That's 6'8" throwing 90 milesan hour.
There's another kid on his team6'3", 230.
And, like he, you should havesaw his eyes.

(33:05):
His eyes went like this rightAgain.
We had all the conversations wecould have had week leading up
to it.
We got to the situation.
We got on the field of play andall of a sudden, all the
monsters were there, all thegiants were there.
And I saw it he goes in thedugout.

(33:27):
I said hey, hey, man, I justwant to just hey.
Who are you right now?
What do you mean, dad?
Who are you right now, caleb?
I said how old are you?
He goes 13.
I said why are we here todayolder than you?
He goes 13.
I said why are we here today?
To learn some things?
Okay, what's your main goaltoday?
To figure out my numbers,figure out how I get better?
Okay, all right, go play.

(33:48):
Isn't that a reminder of whatwe need to constantly do?
Every single day?
We have to bring ourselves backto who we are and who we're
becoming, because if we getsidetracked with that, we're
going to cause misalignment, andyou and I both know when a
car's alignment is off, itdoesn't go straight anymore.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
The 6'8" 90 mile an hour 13-year-old.
What a metaphor for the thingsthat we face as leaders, as
parents and all those things,and you touched on it.
I'm going to get to kind ofwhat we talked about a little
bit before we hit record.
With regards to, you know, theassessment that you have now,
that you're working on and thestudy you've been doing, you

(34:34):
talked about that player who'snot focused on the game when he
needs to be on the game, buthe's thinking about home and
being a husband and being afather all those things being
very important but the mindsethe's bringing home from the
field to the home is keeping himfrom being present inside the
home as well.
What are some of those?
You talk about this invisiblefour assessment that helps folks

(34:57):
go through that.
What is that assessment andwhat are those enemies that do
that to us?

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Oh, so you want me to give away all my secrets now,
isn't that?
Oh you?

Speaker 2 (35:05):
don't have to give, give, give me two of them and
then get the assessment from you.

Speaker 1 (35:10):
Our, our fearless leader, Rory Vaden, says give
away your best content first,and I'm a big believer in that.
So honestly, john, this is all.
But think about it that thewhole I just got done with work.
I, I, you know, you use theathlete analogy I just went, oh
for four, with four strikeouts,and I still need to go home to

(35:30):
my wife and two kids.
Guess what that's a roletransition.
So, yeah, I, so I.
I just noticed this thing bothin my own journey and then with
my athletes and then myexecutives.
The transition from work tohome is tough, it's really tough

(35:53):
.
And then you know the constantstories of gosh JR I can't turn
those four at those four at batsoff at home.
I can't turn off work at home,like I just I kept hearing this.
So I went down a rabbit holebecause I'm a I'm a nerd and did
, did some study, because I'mlike the term workaholism gets

(36:15):
thrown around and in fact my ownsister-in-law said this one day
we were at dinner.
This was years ago.
She's like you're a workaholicand I'm like wait, what?
What are you talking?
You just called me.
What, like that was momentnumber one, where I look in the
mirror and go.
Why did she say this?

(36:36):
And it wasn't necessarily areflection on me.
It was a reflection on certainattributes we have as leaders
and entrepreneurs and executives.
So I, I did some digging and,john, it was like that moment
where I'm like oh and I realizedthere's these four.

(36:59):
I call them the four invisibleopponents.
We already talked about one ofthem professional identity and
self-worth.
You want to talk about what'sdriving guys like us, highly
driven leaders, to not shut offwork and to constantly be on.
It's the fact that you knowwhat.
My role as an executive that'swho I am Kind of like, that

(37:25):
singular role as an athlete.
It's funny my last game ofcollege I came off the field I
was bawling John.
And it's funny my spicy Italianmom who, yes, wrapped the court
around to the neighbor's houseshe house Because she knows I
was ready to be done withcollege.
Chicago boy, in Iowa, it's afive-year shelf life and she

(37:46):
goes.
Why are you crying?
I thought you wanted to get outof here.
And now I know why I was cryingBecause those athletes.
I had fractured my hip twice.
I knew I was going to playprofessionally.
My days as an athlete were overand I was having a crisis
professionally.
My days as an athlete were overand I didn't know I was having
a crisis.
Right there on the field, wewrap ourselves and our

(38:07):
self-worth in our professionalidentity.
The other invisible pointperfectionism, that quest for
flawless execution.
We've been driven as athletes,to just go and hit the ball
right here and make sure we dothis and take that.
Here's the form Flawlessexecution, and when it's not
perfect, we got to stay tillit's right.

(38:27):
The fear of underperformance,oh God.
Well, if I don't answer thisemail or if I don't send this
text message, I'm going to losethe deal.
And then I'm going to right.
But then the flip side of thatis the adrenaline rush of
success.
Sure, we win and we want to winmore.

(38:48):
So we keep pushing and we keeppushing and pushing, because you
know, when we stack wins andbig wins, now everyone's going
to see us as a winner, as achampion.
I have found that those fourthings that wreaked havoc in us
as athletes are the same fourthings that are wreaking havoc
as us as professionals.
So I created the assessment tohelp you know whoever takes it,

(39:14):
figure out which one of thosefour are the biggest culprit in
their lives.
But then you know, to yourquestion, like, what do we do?
And, john, it goes back to allright, are you shutting down?
Like, are you taking a timeoutto say, all right, you know what
?
Here's where I'm at, here'swhat I'm feeling, let me get my

(39:39):
body right, let's get my mindright, my heart right, and then
start breaking down.
You know, okay, this is whathappened today, this is what
needs to happen tomorrow.
Okay, I'm good Time to go be adad or time to go be a husband.
That's the key.
If we don't transition properly, those four opponents are going

(40:04):
to keep wreaking havoc and,next thing you know it, our
health goes out the window, ourrelationships go out the window
and, yep, even our performancegoes out the window.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
Love that and I appreciate you sharing it.
You're right, roy does talkabout sharing everything.
He also says people don't payfor information.
They pay for transformation andultimately, that transformation
is when they contact youafterward and say I need help.
Going back to a story that Ioften tell about when you're not
performing at the levelrecognize you need help.
Recognize you need that coachto make that phone call to when

(40:37):
you're nine or 10 years old thatyou're not getting you know and
bringing that home.
I appreciate you sharing it andI will put a link in the show
notes for folks to get in touchwith you, which is next question
what is the best way for folksto connect with you?
Jr.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Yeah, absolutely so.
If they want to take theassessment, just go to
jamesreidcomJ-A-M-E-S-R-E-I-Dcom forward
slash assessment and it'll leadthem to the assessment.
Once they take the assessment,they'll get, obviously, the
results.
They'll get me showing whichones are wreaking havoc in their

(41:12):
lives, and then I actually givethem a copy of the white paper
that.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
I wrote.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
It's not a boring black and white, 700-page white
paper that I wrote.
It's not a boring black andwhite, 700 page white paper.
No, it, it, it.
It opens the door and puts amicroscope on what the heck is
going on.
And really it was my intention,john, just to show my audience
and readers.
It's not their fault, it reallyisn't their fault, it's just

(41:39):
things they need to be aware of.
So back to your you know, takeaction and then have impact.
So go to take the assessment.
They'll get everything there.
They'll get my white paper andthen, if they want to do some of
the other free trainings that Igot, that's, that's up to them.
Social media I'm on allchannels.
It's just James and then JRReed, so it's the same handle on

(42:00):
all, all channels.
It's just james and then jrreed, so it's the same handle on
all, all channels there tell meabout your podcast.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
You also host a podcast yourself.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
Tell me about that oh yeah, which you were a guest on
.
So it was it's grateful wait to,can't wait to publish that bad
boy.
So, yeah, have the coming upclutch with jr show.
We we release an episode everyweek.
We flip between having aninterview and then I also have a
segment, bi-weekly segment,called the five-minute drill,

(42:28):
where I basically give a drillthey can do around a certain
topic that they can implementwithin five minutes.
So five minutes.
People are like why are youcalled the five-minute drill?
It so love that five, fiveminutes.
People's like why you call itthe five minute trail?
I had a coach, another coach, sothere's two father figures.
I had my life, one I shared withyou as we started the segment,
and then the second one wascoach airs, who I was just an

(42:52):
average high school playeraverage.
He made me an elite in onesummer and one of the things he
had was this five minute trailwhere he'd set up two cones and
I had a shuffle between conesand he would hit ground balls to
each cone and it went on forfive straight minutes nonstop.

(43:13):
First time I did that, I threwup, I threw up, I hated it.
It was I hated it, john, okay.
But then he did it again and Igot better at it.
And then he did it again and Igot better at it, and then again
and then it was like wait, fiveminutes is over and it turned
me into an elite infielder.

(43:34):
So I'm like that right therestuck with me for life.
I want to pass that concept onto my listeners, so that's why I
call it the five-minute drill,so they can literally it's going
to help them become elite inwhatever area we're talking
about that particular day.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
So that's the show.
I'll put the link there.
I encourage folks to go listen.
I just love listening more thananything else.
Listen to JR's voice, but he'sgot some great tips on.
Both sides the interviews thathe does, as well as that
five-minute drill that comes outon Fridays.
It's good stuff, JR.
Thank you so much.
I know you added value to thelisteners of the Uncommon Leader
podcast.
I'm going to give you the lastword here before we jump out

(44:11):
with the question that Ifinished up with all my
first-time guests.
I'm going to give you abillboard.
You can put that thing anywhereyou want to.
What is the message you'regoing to put on that billboard
to tell folks, and why do youput it on there?

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Oh man, you know what , john?
I hope this is on a billboardsomeday.
I hope, because it's reallybecome my tagline marching order
.
Whatever you want to call it,it is, winning isn't a result,
it's a lifestyle.
That's the message.
Again, it goes back to a lot ofwhat we talked about.

(44:45):
So many people are focused onthe one result winning the Super
Bowl, winning the World Series,getting the big deal, becoming
CEO, whatever, selling thebusiness and they realize, once
that is accomplished I mean wesee this with a lot of stories
after Super Bowl champions andthey're going broke and they're

(45:06):
doing alcoholism and all thisright that they realize the rest
of their life is in shambles.
So the reason why I stand bythat and I want it on a
billboard is to remind peoplethat you know what Winning is
about.
Those wins, however big or smallthey are, in your relationships
, in your health, in yourfinances, in your personal and

(45:30):
professional development, inyour community leadership, and
on and on it goes.
Whatever areas of life that youhave, that winning is a
lifestyle that you live day inand day out.
It's not just this one event atone given time that comes with
this particular status, it is adaily thing.

(45:50):
And just because you didn't winin your career or your
relationship that day doesn'tmean you can't win in your
finances or wherever else,whatever other area you have in
your life.
So that's why I say and everysingle one of my podcast
episodes, with this too, john,it's like winning, don't forget

(46:10):
this.
Winning is a result, it's alifestyle.
So if we keep that perspective,next thing you know we are
celebrating the wins more, weare getting the momentum we need
and that when we again have aloss in one area of life, it
doesn't carry over to the otherareas of our lives.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
So cool, jr.
Thank you so much, man.
I think the folks are going tolove this and I want you to
share.
I want the folks that arelistening in to share this with
somebody else who needs to hearit.
No doubt about it, jr.
I wish you the best goingforward.
Let's stay in touch.
Our BBGers got to stayconnected and close and keep
winning, okay.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
Hey, john, you're amazing man.
This podcast, the fact thatit's called the Uncommon Leader
it says everything about you.
You are an uncommon leader, soI honor you.
It says everything about you.
You are an uncommon leader, soI honor you.
I celebrate you for just givingpeople access to this medium,
to this wisdom, to thisknowledge that you're just
projecting all over the world.
So you're the best man.

(47:11):
It was an honor to be here.
I'm just glad you could standme for this long we did it, man.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
Two hours worth, we did it.
It was really cool, jr.
Thanks so much again.
Be well, and that wraps upanother episode of the Uncommon
Leader Podcast.
Thanks for tuning in today.
If you found value in thisepisode, I encourage you to
share it with your friends,colleagues or anyone else who
could benefit from the insightsand inspiration we've shared.
Also, if you have a moment, I'dgreatly appreciate if you could

(47:40):
leave a rating and review onyour favorite podcast platform.
Your feedback not only helps usto improve, but it also helps
others discover the podcast andjoin our growing community of
uncommon leaders.
Until next time, go and growchampions.

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