Bob Wheatley (USA Today Author / Brand Builders Group) reveals the 70/30 Rule that launched his niche book to #8 National Bestseller. Learn why Sales is Fast and how to master the strategy of Uniqueness.
We explore the Pauline advantage and why singleness can be a season of strength, purpose, and undivided devotion to God. Bob Wheatley shares the 30-day challenge structure, a five-week church curriculum, and the sales-first strategy that made a niche book a USA Today bestseller.
• The Pauline advantage as a reframing of singleness
• A 30-day challenge built on heart, soul, mind, and strength
• Practical daily actions that shape prayer, food, money, and friends
• Challenging the church’s hierarchy of marriage over singleness
• Creating singles ministries that disciple rather than speed-date
• Building a five-week curriculum for groups and churches
• Why marketing is slow and sales are fast in book launches
• Turning lived experience into a focused, useful book
• How Brand Builders Group supports authors and speakers
𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐩 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧: https://youtu.be/mw84QYjonZw
- 0:00 Focus On Jesus: The Core Message
- 0:23 Welcome Back And Guest Introduction
- 1:37 Why Single-Minded Was Written
- 3:06 Discovering The Pauline Advantage
- 7:43 From Loneliness To Spiritual Advantage
- 12:30 The 30-Day Challenge Structure
- 16:40 Reframing Singleness In The Church
- 20:50 Building Resources For Singles Ministries
- 27:28 Sponsor Break And Return
- 28:22 Why Most Book Launches Miss
- 32:40 Sales Vs. Marketing In Book Launches
🎁𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐄!
𝘾𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 Strategy Call with BBG: https://coachjohngallagher.com/bbg/
𝘾𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 Wealthy and Well-Known audiobook: https://wealthyandwellknown.com/audiobook-rpp/?affiliate_code=158260
Please share this episode with someone who needs this message. Think of a friend who would benefit and gift them the book. If you appreciated our conversation, leave a review on the podcast to help us reach more people
➡️ Hit 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄 and 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖 (▶️ / @coachjohngallagher ) for more Executive Leadership strategies!
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 Bob Wheatley:👇
➡️ 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐝𝐈𝐧 (primary): https://www.linkedin.com/in/bob-wheatley/
➡️ 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐓𝐮𝐛𝐞: https://www.youtube.com/@bob_wheatley
➡️ 𝐖𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞: https://bobwheatley.com/speaking/
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝗝𝗼𝗵𝗻: 👇
➡️ 𝐖𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞: https://coachjohngallagher.com/
➡️ 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐓𝐮𝐛𝐞: https://www.youtube.com/@coachjohngallagher?sub_confirmation=1
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Three words.
Focused on Jesus.
The book titled Single Minded.
Single Minded on What?
On Jesus.
He's gonna change everything.
Completely locked in, focused onJesus, focused on God, and
really crush it as a singleperson.
SPEAKER_01 (00:23):
Hey Uncommon Leaders, welcome back.
This is the Uncommon LeaderPodcast.
I'm your host, John Gallagher,and today is going to be
awesome.
I've got a second time guest,Bob Wheatley, who's with us.
But this time he brings on anadded moniker to his uh name
author, Bob Wheatley, also aformer professional athlete,
also a brand expert with BrandBuilders Group.
(00:48):
But now we get to add USA Todaybest-selling author to his
repertoire, to his bio, and makethat happen.
Bob, I can't wait to talk aboutnot just about your book, but
about the process you wentthrough.
Congratulations on USA Todaybest-selling author status.
Great to have you back on theshow.
How are you doing today?
SPEAKER_00 (01:07):
I'm doing great.
Yeah.
Thank you for having me on.
Obviously, a second time we'regoing to run it back, but we
always tell our clients there'sno such thing as a best-selling
author.
There are only best-sellingteams.
And I had a great team to helpme accomplish it.
We had a really great summer,and now the book is out in the
world and helping people.
Ultimately, that's why you writea book.
You want to change lives, youwant to help people, you want to
(01:28):
encourage.
So yeah, thank you so much.
It was a really fun August,that's for sure.
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
And that book is kind of hanging behind your
shoulder there for thosewatching on the video.
It's called Single Minded: Finding Purpose and Strength in (01:37):
undefined
Your Season of Singleness.
It's much more than a guide,though, within kind of
singleness.
And we're going to talk aboutthat a little bit.
It's a powerful lesson inresilience and intentionality in
prayer, uh, ultimately indiscipleship, you know, as
you've been on that journey inlife.
And then we're going to get,frankly, a chance to talk about
how the process of writing abook and becoming uh a
(02:01):
bestseller.
It's funny how you say that.
I mean, it's called abestseller, not a best written.
We'll talk about that as well.
But I want to dive into yourbook.
Look, I find uh fascination.
So I'm married, I've beenmarried for 32 years, so I
wasn't the target audience foryour book.
But when I read through and geta chance to share that with
others, I love to jump into theintroduction right off the bat
because there's a story usuallybehind the writing of the book,
(02:23):
and then the acknowledgments atthe end to recognize there are
people that had a big part inputting together all that stuff
in the middle.
And I loved your story at thestart with regards to the
Pauline Advantage that youdefined.
And I want you to talk to meabout that, about how you
ultimately it led you to writingthis book.
Uh what is the PaulineAdvantage?
SPEAKER_00 (02:43):
Yeah, so the book is structured as a 30-day
challenge.
It's meant to be read inbite-sized chunks, 10 minutes a
day, day after day for 30 days.
The initial intro chapter, likemost nonfiction books, is just
four or five pages of hey,here's why I wrote the book.
So the book is called ThePauline Advantage, and or sorry,
(03:03):
the chapter is called ThePauline Advantage.
And essentially what the entirereason why this book came to be
is I started reading FirstCorinthians seven.
And I'm sure I had read thatbefore and just kind of glossed
over it and didn't really caremuch.
I was really feeling single, iffor lack of better words, I was
feeling lonely, hopeless, leftout.
(03:25):
I was feeling behind on life.
I'm now in my mid-30s,unmarried.
I've always wanted to be ahusband.
I've always wanted to be afather.
I'm neither of those thingstoday.
And I was feeling it wheneverthis was, let's say two, three
years ago.
And there's the Apostle Paul.
That's where you get the wordPauline.
The Apostle Paul in 1Corinthians 7 is writing to the
Christians in this new church inCorinth, and he's talking about
(03:48):
love and he's talking aboutrelationships and how do we
navigate these things.
When speaking to the singleChristians, this is my
paraphrase, but he says, I,Paul, wish that you singles
could remain single on accountof the spiritual benefits that
you have.
He says that the married man,his interests are divided, but
(04:09):
the single person can have awholehearted devotion to God.
That really challenged mebecause there I was sitting in
my singleness, just wallowing,like, God, this is this is a
prison sentence.
This is a death wish.
This is the worst thing ever.
Or even on a lighter note, thisis my waiting season.
I'm sure you've never heard thatbefore, John.
When singles like, this is mywaiting season.
(04:29):
Like eventually my life willstart when my husband, when my
wife shows up.
That is not a biblicalstatement.
Here's the apostle Paul in FirstCorinthians seven saying, Hey
guys, if you're single, Iactually wish you would remain
that way because it's soawesome.
On a spiritual level, if yourgoal is to pursue the Lord and
serve him, I wish you couldremain single.
(04:51):
But what really, like I said, Ihad read First Corinthians seven
before and just glossed over it.
I thought, oh, you know, Paul isthis Christian superhero.
I'm living here in 2025 inNashville, Tennessee.
I am not Paul.
I could never do that.
I'm wired differently.
Paul had unique giftings, and Ijust I did not heed that advice.
(05:11):
And then I was reading a book.
It's called Bonhoeffer.
It's by Eric Metaxis.
It's a biography on DietrichBonhoeffer, who, for those who
don't know, he was a Germanpastor.
He ended up getting martyred inWorld War II, sort of fought
against the Nazi regime, not onthe battlefield per se, but more
so in politics, in letters, inthought leadership from the
(05:32):
pulpit, essentially.
So I was reading this book byEric Metaxis called Bonhoeff,
and the book is just awesome.
I think it won the book of theyear in 2008, whenever it came
out.
For hundreds of pages, I wasreading about this martyred
German pastor named DietrichBonhoeffer, and it was like
apples to apples.
It was the same person wherepersonality types, very similar
(05:56):
to me.
The way he decorated his bedroomis very Spartan.
It was just like a bed, a desk,some books.
I saw so much of myself in him.
And of course, it's this is anational best-selling book.
You, as the reader, you alwaysassociate with the main
character.
You're like, I see myself inhim, I see myself in her.
But this was uncanny.
The level of it was just sosimilar, all the way down to our
(06:19):
birthdays.
So Dietrich Bonhoeffer was bornFebruary 4th, 1906.
I was born February 4th, 1992.
When I saw that, I was justlike, all right, this is my
long-lost twin.
We're separated by you knowdecades in a really big ocean.
But I see a lot of myself inDietrich Bonhoeffer, or that's
how I felt.
Then I came to this quote byanother pastor at the time who
(06:42):
was a mentor of Bonhoeffer.
His name is Theodore Heckel.
And it's written in the book,Theodore Heckel is praising
Bonhoeffer, this youngup-and-coming pastor.
And then I got to the quote thatchanged everything.
Heckel, speaking aboutBonhoeffer, says he has, in
addition, the special Paulineadvantage in that he is
unmarried.
And that just crushed me.
(07:03):
That was like dagger to theheart because hundreds of pages
are like, I am Dietrich.
Dietrich is me.
This is my long-lost twin.
This is awesome.
I want to be like him.
And then when I saw that, quote,not by the Apostle Paul, by a
20th century Christian and apastor, somebody who is really
doing the Christian walk well,saying, Yeah, he has the Pauline
(07:25):
advantage in that he isunmarried.
That changed everything for mebecause I have been feeling very
single, very behind, stuck in mywaiting season.
God, when is this going tochange?
And then there's another doubletap, a double stamp on Bob.
I have something for you rightnow.
You are in an advantage season.
This isn't a season to sprintout of and pray, man, can it
(07:48):
just end tomorrow?
I have something for you.
So that was really the genesisof the book.
And like I said, it's a 30-daychallenge.
I walk the reader through 30different areas of their life.
So it is not necessarily arelationship book.
We talk about money.
We talk about music.
We talk about friends.
Of course, we talk about themore relational things like
dating, marriage, sex, all that.
(08:10):
But we are human beings.
We're not just a husband, awife.
We are human beings.
And God has a lot of awesomethings for the single Christian
that I was not tapping intountil Dietrich Bonhoeffer,
Theodore Heckel, and the ApostlePaul challenged me.
That's how it started.
SPEAKER_01 (08:27):
You know, there's so much in what you said.
And first of all, I mean, thankyou for sharing that background
with the listeners of thepodcast.
And when you get the book,you'll get to hear that again
and recognize that first of all,let's use the brand builders
group analogy.
You're most powerfullypositioned to help the person
that you once were.
In this case, you still are, butthat's what makes you
authorized, in essence, to writethis book in terms of where you
(08:49):
all are on your journey.
I love the transparency in termsof recognizing that you also
just kind of skimmed over it asyou read it before.
Look, the first time you're onthe podcast, I know this about
you, Bob, you are a reader ofthe Bible.
There's a number of years, Ithink it's more than 20, that in
a row that you've read theentire Bible all the way
(09:11):
through.
And so there's some reason atthis point in time where you're
feeling down that you recognizethese words.
They jump off the page a littlebit differently.
And again, this happens in theBible as a Christian in terms of
how we're listening for thevoice of God.
It happens as readers in termsof leadership books, like, yeah,
that's me.
Who here I am right here.
(09:31):
He's talking to me.
I can hear his voice by readingthese words and letting me know
that.
So to recognize that at thatpoint in time, clearly there was
not an accident as to when youread those words.
And then lastly, to set up thestructure the way you did to
help others in terms of these,you know, to be done in 30 days,
or however you end up doing it.
You got these 30, you know,chapters that are set up, each
(09:53):
one of them start with yoursomething.
And I had written down ones thatyou mentioned, some of them,
your God, yourself, your pride,your loneliness, your money, and
all those things.
I love the construct of the bookthat you've done, and I know
it's going to help more.
I want to talk about that inmore how you're using it to help
others as well, so that you canshare that.
(10:14):
But talk to me a little bitabout the structure of how you
wrote the book as well.
So you started out with ascripture that was uh connected
to that topic, and then you kindof wrote the body of the
chapter, if you will, and thenfinished with a call to action
or a challenge.
Tell me a little bit about whatwas there as you walk through
that.
SPEAKER_00 (10:30):
Yeah, I wanted the book to be an interactive
experience.
And you just laid it outperfectly where the initial
start to every chapter, there'sgoing to be a Bible verse to
kind of set the tone, then abrief story, whether it's in my
own life or we're talking aboutthe Titanic or George
Washington.
There's something to prove apoint.
And then the book ends, orsorry, the chapter ends in a
(10:51):
challenge where every daythere's something that I'm
calling the reader into.
Some things are super easy.
It might be a prayer.
It's like you close the book,minute later, you're done with a
challenge.
Other things require a littlemore legwork.
It might be calling a friend.
It might be cooking a meal.
There's a chapter on your food.
How do we, as a single person,if we have this advantage and we
(11:12):
can really seek God in thisseason, what does how does our
food, what we're going to havefor dinner tonight, how does
that help us further connectwith God?
That's a day.
So on that day on the challenge,I encourage the reader, hey,
either cook or go out and buyyour favorite meal.
How's that for a challenge?
And use that as an opportunityto connect with your father.
(11:34):
Every good and perfect gift isfrom above.
So those, you know, burger andfries, steak and potatoes, a
massive salad if you're more ofthe health kick.
That's from him.
That is your father giving yousomething awesome to enjoy with
him.
He could just give us astronautfood, or he could make us like
plants and trees or Superman.
(11:56):
We could just get our energyfrom the sun.
No, we don't have that.
We have millions of differentfruits and vegetables and salt
and sweet and all of that stuff,different cuisines from all over
the world.
That's simply because God is aGod of variety and he wants us
to have an awesome life.
That's just a blessing from him.
So to bring it back to thestructure of things, the entire
(12:17):
purpose of the book is to helpthe single Christian who feels
behind, who feels hopeless, whofeels like I am going to be
stuck in this less than seasonforever.
The purpose of the book is topull them out of that, maybe
point them in the direction ofan apostle Paul, of a Dietrich
Bonhoeffer and say, Your God,your father loves you.
(12:39):
There, this is not a if you'rewatching this on video, marriage
is not higher and thensingleness is lower.
No, the Bible says they areequal.
It's almost like as a Christian,we cannot lose.
You can't lose.
If you're single, awesome.
The Apostle Paul says you mighteven want to stay that way
because it's, in his opinion,better.
If you do get married one day,great, you can't lose.
(13:00):
That's what you've been prayingfor the whole time, anyway.
You have companionship, you canhave kids, guilt-free sex is on
the table.
You can't lose.
But again, if you're watchingthis on video, this disconnect
of marriage is higher,singleness is lower.
That's oftentimes how peoplefeel and how the church somewhat
teaches things.
It's like we feed into thattoday.
(13:20):
Oh, like we're coming into theholiday season.
Christmas is coming up.
There are going to be people whogo home and see their parents or
their grandparents and they're34 years old and not married.
And it's kind of the, hey, whenare you going to give me some
grandkids?
Like it's the classic joke.
Oh, yeah.
Like, I'm sorry.
Sorry, guys.
That 34-year-old's singleness ortheir relationship status, it is
(13:43):
not about giving you grandkids.
It is about serving God.
And if the apostle Paul was atyour Christmas dinner, he might
have something else to say tothat 34-year-old.
So I what I really wanted to doin the book is change the
conversation in the church towhere we don't look at single
Christians as people that areless than, or that's so cute.
(14:04):
Like one day you'll level upfrom JV to the varsity.
No, I want to, I want us toencourage the single person.
We do not need to be fixed.
We need to be unleashed.
We are fully available.
We can do God's bidding.
We need to be unleashed assingle Christians.
We don't need to be fixed.
SPEAKER_01 (14:20):
Bob, man, that's so good.
That's so good.
And I love the picture.
I mean, again, those of youseeing the video of recognizing,
and as I, as I think and Ireflect just as you're talking,
I recognize that the churchdoesn't do a phenomenal job of
ministering to that community.
We're going to talk to just asecond about how, you know, what
your book is doing for thatcommunity as well to help level
(14:43):
that up, to bring them, if youwill, into recognition that they
are not less than a marriedperson.
I was smiling when you weretalking about food as well.
I just had the chance to be withmy men's group this morning, and
we had a guy bring over aplateful of Danishes and set
them in the middle of one of ourtables.
And I was at that table, and acouple of them uh partook in the
(15:04):
Danish, and a few of us did notpartake in that Danish.
And you mentioned that in termsof food, and I just love the
reference to I wrote them downas a note that every gift is a
gift from above.
And even those Danishes and uhblueberry muffins that were
there, and those that took it,hey, if that's what they want
inside of that space, it was agift from God.
And those that choose not totake it was okay as well.
(15:24):
I think that's so connected.
But I love how you've back toyou know, really the message of
your book.
I love how you've made thatvisual of we're not less than.
And so the book was just a book,and we'll talk about how you got
it to a bestseller here in aminute.
But how are you taking it evenfurther with regards to the
book?
And what other resources are youmaking available that allow you
(15:45):
to close that gap between uhmarried and the single person in
the church?
SPEAKER_00 (15:50):
Yeah, one of the biggest challenges that I see in
the church today is there'ssimply not a place for the
single person.
They, we oftentimes feel leftout in the church because if
you're not in the young adultsgroup, which is 21 to 29, what
happens if you're 34?
All right, you're not invitedhere.
You've aged out of young adults.
Now you're just an adult adult.
(16:11):
So where do you go with that?
Okay, well, I can't go to themarried group, I can't go to the
newborns group.
How do I raise my first child?
What do I do?
And I also recognize thechallenge from the church's side
as well, because are you tiredof being tired?
SPEAKER_01 (16:27):
I know I was.
That's when I was glad to findown it coaching.
Now my resting heart rate's down20%, sleep quality up 300%.
You know, I just ran my firstSpartan rage at age 56.
I feel better than I ever have.
So if you're ready to stopsettling and start owning your
own health, go tocoachjohngallagher.com forward
(16:48):
slash own it and set up a freecall with the own it coaching
team.
That's coachjohngallagher.comforward slash own it.
SPEAKER_00 (16:56):
Now, let's get back to the experience.
As I speak to more and morechurches, they're like, Yeah, we
have a ton of single people thatare asking us, can you give us
something?
Can you give us a group, acurriculum, a gathering,
something we feel really leftout?
The challenge that the church isfacing is really twofold.
Number one is you got to askyourself the question, who's
actually gonna lead it at thechurch?
(17:16):
Unless there's somebody who issprinting to the front of the
room, hey God, send me.
Who's gonna lead that group?
It's not something as obvious asa young adult's because there's
gonna be a lot of people from 21to 29 every single year.
As the 30s age out, the 20s agein.
So that's something that's gonnabe consistently there.
(17:37):
And unless it's a specificburden or group that's on your
heart, there's just not a lot ofpeople in church leadership that
will raise their hand and say,Yes, I'm gonna volunteer to lead
the singles group.
The second challenge is let'scall it like it is a lot of
people that are going to thatsingles group are not
necessarily going there becauseof the Pauline advantage.
They're going there to hopefullyfind a spouse.
SPEAKER_01 (17:59):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (18:00):
And that's okay.
There's nothing wrong with that.
And for the record, my book isnot the you should be single
forever because Paul was book.
That is not my message.
That's not even what Paul saysin First Corinthians seven.
He also says, Hey, if you wantto be married, it's not a sin.
If you're burning with passion,get married.
Again, as Christians, we can'tlose.
Single, that's a win.
(18:21):
Married, that's a win.
But the challenge for the churchis all right, we don't want to
set up a dating service.
All the most of the people thatare coming to this event would
love to be out of this group insix months anyway, versus a
young adult.
Let's say they start in thatgroup at 23 years old after they
leave college, they're going tobe in that group on purpose
happily for seven years.
(18:42):
So I understand the challenge.
What I wanted to do in this bookis I created, yes, a 30-day
challenge for the individual,but I also have a five-week
church curriculum that goesalong with it.
It's basically just guiding uhnot an individual, but a group
through the book.
So week one is everybody getstheir books.
We talk through the PaulineAdvantage.
(19:02):
It's sort of a reframing of yourseason of singleness.
Hey guys, let's crush it.
If you're here, you're probablysingle.
Let's crush it when we'resingle.
And you might be married thistime next year, but you're
single today.
How do we crush it?
That would be week one.
And then weeks two, three, four,five is basically just walking
the 30-day challenge.
And if you remember, John, thebook is broken up into those
(19:24):
four sections heart, soul, mind,strength.
That's the five-week curriculum.
I wanted to give the church anexcuse to start singles groups.
And even that name, singlesgroups, like there's gonna be
some negative undertones withthat.
Like, oh, here's the less thans,here's the people that are sad
(19:44):
and lonely and depressed, thesingles group, or here's the you
know, the speed dating group.
It's like, no, guys, we need todefine singleness as the apostle
Paul did, as your Bible does.
Singleness is awesome, it's veryunique.
There are definitely challengesto it.
I myself, I still want to bemarried.
I believe, I still praying forthat.
And there are definitedifficulties.
(20:06):
I get lonely.
I'm a human being.
And yet, those promises andthose challenges, those
exhortations in 1 Corinthians 7are still there.
So I'm doing the best I can tocrush it before marriage and
help other people to do thesame.
I think that's so cool.
SPEAKER_01 (20:21):
And again, the recognition of by naming it
something, right?
It gets an immediate stigmainside the church, especially,
frankly.
I mean, you look at thedifferent groups that are
created, they tend to be formedaround problems rather than um
opportunities.
Uh people change when they'reinspired or when they're in
desperation.
And you know, they might bearound shame or around financial
(20:42):
peace because they're in debtand they want to get out of
debt.
So by reframing that season thatyou're talking about and making
it great, making an opportunity,I think that can be really,
really powerful.
And I hope we can get thatinformation uh into the hands of
more, including, uh, I want toshare with my pastors of church
as well.
And I'm gonna share this episodewith them to start off and then
(21:03):
the book to really get them inmind.
We talked about that.
I told you the name would cometo my mind as well, because you
know, we've got, I'll tell youthat afterward.
I wrote it down just to makesure I won't uh make it known on
the podcast, but there areothers that I can see who would
benefit from this.
Because the other side of that,to your point, who's gonna run
to the front?
Uh you're not gonna get amarried person to run to the
front to teach a single-mindedcourse.
(21:23):
You got to get a single personto say, I'm up for it.
Let's go do this and make thathappen.
So important.
I love the book, Bob, in termsof what's there within the book.
Uh, with regards to ourconversation, I do want to make
it a little bit of a shift.
Uh, the other side of what we'retalking about is that
best-selling author status, thatnew ribbon that's on your book,
that sticker that says USAToday, best-selling author.
(21:47):
Look, the niche of your book,you already talked about this,
is pretty small with regards towho you're trying to reach and
recognizing who you wrote itfor.
How in the world did you turnthis into a best-selling book
then with a niche that small?
SPEAKER_00 (21:57):
Yeah, it was an amazing result.
So, the USA Today, for those whodon't know, there's 150 books on
the list.
That would be the onlineversion, 150 books.
It's saying these are the top150 books in the nation this
week.
Now, the newspaper prints 50.
So I would have loved to benumber 149.
That would still be a USA Todaybestseller, but it's kind of
(22:19):
cool to have your name, yourbook in the papers.
Like, okay, I'm kind of shootingfor the top 50.
The book was number eight, top10, number eight in the country
came out.
It was just an amazing result.
And the benefit that I had inworking, I have a full-time job
with Brand Builders Group.
John, obviously, we've metthrough BBG.
The benefit that I had is we runprobably 12 book launches a
(22:41):
month.
It's something that weconsistently do.
Some are smaller than mine, someare significantly bigger than
mine.
John Maxwell, Ed Milette, AmyPorterfield, Lewis Howes.
These are all New York Times,Wall Street Journal best-selling
authors, people that werehelping.
So I had the benefit of numberone, having a very good plan, a
very good sales strategy as faras my launch, but also seeing
(23:04):
some other failed launchesbecause I'm privy to that type
of information and seeing, I'mjust in that world.
I see a lot of book launches ona monthly basis.
So we saw some near misses, andI was able to self-diagnose and
see, okay, what happened?
What went wrong?
Why did this person miss thelist?
(23:26):
And I won't share any names justfor the sake of privacy.
It's their story, it's not mine.
We had a client, John, who didour bestseller launch plan
workshop.
And it was an awesome two-dayevent.
I was actually a part of it.
So I was there to see all thestrategy and everything that we
encouraged them to employ.
And they did none of it.
They didn't follow the plan.
Or I should say, none of it isnot completely accurate.
(23:48):
They opted for more of themarketing stuff.
It was updating the website, itwas the social media posts.
We always tell our clientsmarketing is slow, but sales is
fast.
Marketing is slow, but sales isfast.
And so this again, namelessclient that missed the list,
they had a massive platform.
We're talking hundreds ofthousands, almost almost a
(24:11):
million followers on socialmedia now.
They had a membership ofthousands of paying clients,
thousands of paying customers.
I sold three times as many booksas they did.
And I today, I'm not famous.
I have 3,500 followers onInstagram.
So you might be listening tothis, you're like, all right,
here's Bob and Brain Buddhistgroup throwing out John Maxwell.
(24:32):
He's the number one leadershipauthor of all time.
I could never be John.
Guys, I have 3,500 followers onInstagram.
I am not famous, but what I didhave is a great plan.
What I saw in that failed launchis okay, I cannot focus on
marketing.
I can't make this cutesy booklaunch website and hope that
(24:54):
people find me.
I need to old fashion thisthing.
I need to pick up the phone,smile and dial, and do some
sales.
So that was really my strategy.
And it was the perfect storm.
It was how do I still do themarketing stuff?
I did update my website.
I did post on social media, buthow do I take that and then add
(25:14):
in the speaking appearances, thepodcast appearances?
I wrote a number of guest blogsfor people.
I did a crowdfunding campaignbecause a lot of these churches,
they don't have great budgetsfor this.
Like as we're recording this, Ihave a speaking event.
I'm speaking at a university onMonday, 250 student athletes.
It's going to be an awesomestage.
(25:34):
It's going to be a great chapelservice.
Yet they did not have thebudget.
Let's say I'm selling my bookfor$15.
What's$15 times$250?
$5,000,$6,000, like in thatballpark?
They're not, they didn't have abudget for$6,000 for a chapel
speaker.
So what I had to do is get theget the stage commitment from
(25:56):
the university.
And then I did fundraising,friends, family.
It's stuff like that.
That's a sales mindset.
That is sales is fast.
I'm picking up the phone, I'mmaking things happen versus
marketing is I'm going to postthis on Instagram and hope
people care about it.
You see the difference?
SPEAKER_01 (26:13):
So it's just a very passive, absolutely.
Baseball world.
You're catching it, right?
Rather than pitching it kind ofthing and going forward.
I mean, the two the twopositions, active and passive,
are very different in terms ofwhat you're telling me.
So in uh I've not written a bookbefore, although I've had a
conversation and when last timeI was with some folks from BBG,
I probably slowed uh my roledown just a little bit in terms
(26:34):
of when I wanted to write a bookbecause of what we're talking
about right here.
The actual act of writing thebook versus the selling of the
book feels a little bit to melike a fitness plan for
yourself, where I would oftensay, if I just exercise hard
enough, I can eat whatever Iwant to.
But I know that I can'tout-exercise a bad diet and that
(26:54):
in my journey to physical healthgoing forward and where I've
been, it feels like it's about70% nutrition and 30% exercise.
What I hear you saying, it'sabout to a certain extent, it's
about 30% writing the book andabout 70% selling the book.
Is that what it felt like toyou?
And is it in terms of time, interms of energy?
SPEAKER_00 (27:14):
Well, it truly depends on your goal.
So when you break it down to the70-30, what we're assuming there
is that person's goal is to be anational bestseller, where the
goal is sales.
If that is true, 100%.
Yeah, I mean, it's the classic,it's a Robert Kiyosaki quote.
It is not New York Times bestwriting author.
It's New York Times bestsellingauthor.
(27:36):
And what's funny is 98% ofbest-selling books hit the list
in week one and then never hitit again.
Now, sometimes you'll have theperennial seller, the atomic
habits of the world that's onthe list for five years.
98% of books like mine hit it inlaunch week and then fall off
because I'm not a James Clearatomic habits.
(27:59):
So I had to, I had to have abook launch tsunami.
I need all of the vectors,everything.
It's like calling a trick playin football.
Everything just needs to pointin the same direction to hit on
one week.
And so with my first podcastappearance with you, I came up
with a book in 2023.
And my goal for that book wasnot to be a national bestseller.
I wasn't even sniffing the USAtoday.
(28:21):
I just wanted to have a bookout.
So it depends on the goals.
But if you're an activebusiness, if you're an active
personal brand and you say, youknow what, it would really
change the trajectory of mycareer to hit a list.
Yeah, 100%.
We would say that the salescomponent of it is what gets you
on the list.
The writing itself, like my 30days, my Pauline Advantage, my
(28:45):
chapter on food, that is what isgoing to take that first reader
and help them refer it to otherpeople.
That allows for the long-termsales.
Is the book actually good?
Because it's just kind of insidebaseball.
What if you think about it, 98%of books hitting the list in
launch week, those are allpre-orders, which means nobody
has actually read the book.
(29:06):
Isn't that funny?
Right.
Yeah, it is kind of interesting.
Back to the best-sellingcomponent of what's happening
there, right?
So you could see a book thathits the New York Times or hits
the USA today.
It's like, wow, they were anumber, number five New York
Times bestseller, and nobodyknows what's in the book.
That's that's pretty wild.
So that is if you're listeningto this and thinking about
writing a book, the salescomponent is so important.
(29:30):
It is the most important when itcomes to hitting a list.
Now, of course, you got to writea good book because you might be
a sales maven, but if the bookis terrible, nobody's gonna read
it a second time or refer it.
So you'll have a really goodlaunch week and then it just
falls flat.
You got to do both.
That's the moral of the story.
SPEAKER_01 (29:45):
Love that.
And we, you know, we have thatconnection together with uh this
group called Brand BuildersGroup.
I would hold your book up, butI've given my copy out to let
somebody read it, to let themborrow it to get it back.
And I still have my Kindle copythat helped me get ready for
this.
But you know, that that's Thatis the space, the organization,
brand builders group, wealthyand well known.
That's when I heard from RoryVaden, who was the author,
(30:06):
co-author of Wealthy and WellKnown, which is a New York Times
bestselling book as it camethrough.
You know, your team, yourorganization inspires,
encourages, and equips authorsto hit that list if they want
to.
Absolutely.
So talk to me a little bit abouthow you advise authors and
speakers generally.
(30:27):
And I've had the question saidturn their books into a
successful business, but I'mactually the other way in terms
of the question.
How do you encourage authors whohave a successful business to
then potentially become anauthor as well and go through
that journey?
SPEAKER_00 (30:40):
Yeah.
Well, you alluded to it earlierin our conversation today.
It's the classic, this is likethe brand builder's bumper
sticker.
This is what we tell all of ourclients.
You are most powerfullypositioned to serve the person
you once were.
We all we also say that a bookis usually your conclusion on a
matter.
It's not something that you're,I'm still considering this, I'm
(31:01):
still researching this.
No, if you're gonna put 200pages together on a subject, you
have a conclusion.
So there might be some businessowners that aren't ready to
write a book.
You're in your first couple ofyears in business, you got to
worry about cash flow andpayroll and things like that, is
totally fine.
The book is a, you know what?
I have come to my conclusion,and the past version of me would
(31:22):
have really benefited from thissubject matter.
So yeah, as far as the book,there's a lot of great
businesses, John, that don'thave books.
It's not something that's aprerequisite to serving people,
not at all.
We help hundreds of clients thatwill never be authors.
But if you want to publish abook, game on.
We're great at that.
We love helping people withthat, but it's really going back
(31:44):
to your personal brand as awhole.
You are here to make the world abetter place, to serve the
person that you once were.
In a nutshell, you know, theclassic Larry Wingitt quote, we
say this again all the time atbrand builders events live.
We need to find your uniquenessand exploit it in the service of
others.
That's the entire reason why westart a business, write a book,
(32:04):
give a TED talk.
We need to discover how is Johndifferent?
That's your uniqueness.
And then you don't hog thatuniqueness, you don't hog those
gifts and talents and passions.
No, you go out in the world andyou serve people with it.
Find your uniqueness, exploit itin the service of others.
SPEAKER_01 (32:20):
Love that.
And Bob, look, I can stillremember the conversations we
had, you know, almost four yearsago as we come up on this date
about brand builders group andthe potential value as I was
learning about them, and youwere the salesperson who was
making me aware of the benefitsthat were there.
Still today, I'm a big fan ofBrand Builders Group and also
still being coached by BrandBuilders Group in my brand
(32:43):
journey as well.
If folks want to learn moreabout Brand Builders Group and
that process, how do you suggestthey really get engaged in that
activity?
SPEAKER_00 (32:51):
Yeah, well, I am so there's a number of different
ways that we connect withclients.
If we can, I'd love to just givethe audience the audiobook for
free.
That's something that we'redoing.
The book is already out, likeyou said, it was a New York
Times bestseller in July.
Guys, we already hit the list.
We're doing great.
So we're just giving away theaudiobook for free.
So if we can, let's just let'sthrow the link in the show notes
(33:12):
to give away the book.
That's going to be a great freeresource for folks.
And I think for sure.
Yep.
Yeah.
And I think we had set up a linkfor you because you've been a
client.
You've been a client for many,many years.
And so we always we find thatour best relationships come from
people that are already in theprogram because we're not hiding
anything from you, John.
(33:33):
You've been a paying client formany years.
You know what's going on.
And so, didn't you have awebsite personally?
We do.
SPEAKER_01 (33:39):
We'll put that in there as well, the
coachjohngallagher.com forwardslash BBG.
And that gives an opportunity toreally set up uh a free
conversation with the folks atBrand Builders Group to see if
they might be able to help youon your journey, whether it's as
an author, as a speaker, as acoach, or ultimately anywhere in
your business where you'relooking to build a personal
brand.
And you know what I talk aboutwhen folks go there is that you
(34:02):
know the study that's done, youall set up the study that 74% of
people will buy from someonethey trust with a personal brand
versus buying from a company.
So I continue to see the valueand what's there for brand
builders groups.
So we'll put that link in theshow notes as well,
coachshawngallagher.com forwardslash BBG.
We'll put the link to the freeaudio book to get your copy of
(34:24):
Wealthy and Well Known.
Uh that's the New York Timesbestselling book.
And Bob, how do we get them intouch with you as well directly
about your book?
Where do you want them to go?
And also to learn more aboutyou.
SPEAKER_00 (34:35):
Best place is just bobwheatly.com.
Everything's there, both mybooks, all my speaking assets
and things like that.
If you, let's say you'relistening to this and you do
have a church and you say, Man,I believe there's a gap there.
I believe there's a lot ofsingle people that could benefit
from this.
Just again, there's a contactpage.
It'll just send you directly tobobwheatly.com.
Just shoot me an email and yeah,we'd love to serve however we
(34:57):
can.
We're doing workshops across thecountry with this.
And if there's an opportunity tohelp your community as well,
let's do this.
That's why I wrote it.
We want to help people.
So yeah, thank you for that.
SPEAKER_01 (35:05):
I'll put that link in the show notes as well,
bobwheatly.com before to be sureto go out there and connect with
him and look into some of thoseresources that are coming out.
You know, those of you uhcertainly uh that can provide
this opportunity for folks whomay be in this season.
Bob, I so appreciate how you uhtold the story.
I'm gonna give you the last wordhere and then I'll close us out
ultimately.
(35:25):
But when you think about themessage that you continuously
try to convey, I'm gonna giveyou a billboard.
You can put any message that youwant to on that billboard.
What's that message you want thelisteners to hear and why do you
want them to hear that message?
SPEAKER_00 (35:39):
Very simple.
Every morning when I sat down towrite this book, I had a sheet
of paper telling me what themessage was.
Three words.
Focus on Jesus.
The book title, Single-Minded,single-minded on what?
On Jesus.
He's going to change everything.
That's what the apostle Paul issaying in 1 Corinthians 7.
Why is the single Christian inan advantaged season?
(36:00):
Because their interests are notdivided.
They don't have to worry aboutthe husband, the wife, the kids,
the soccer practice.
They can be completely lockedin, focused on Jesus, focused on
God, and really crush it as thesingle person.
So yeah, if I had a billboard,be those three words, focus on
Jesus.
SPEAKER_01 (36:18):
Love that.
Bob, thank you so much.
I know you've added tremendousvalue to the listeners of the
Uncommon Leader podcast.
And I know you're going to addvalue to so many more with your
book and with your study thatyou're doing and having the
impact on the people that youwant to.
Thank you so much for being aguest.
Thank you for having me.
Hey, listeners, I think you knowsomeone who has to hear this
message.
(36:38):
If you know someone who does,please share this episode and
whatever platform that you can.
Let them know.
And also, I bet you know someonewho needs to get a copy of this
book.
I would ask that you really uhthink about who that is uh in
your life that needs to receivea copy of this book and look to
gift that for them.
That would be something to bereally powerful.
Certainly, if you appreciatedour conversation, we would love
(36:59):
it if you would also leave areview on the podcast and let
folks know.
That's how we get this messageinto more and more people's
hands.
Otherwise, thank you forlistening and getting to this
point in the podcast.
Until next time, go and growchampions.
Three words.
Focused on Jesus.
The book titled Single Minded.
Single Minded on What?
On Jesus.
He's gonna change everything.
Completely locked in, focused onJesus, focused on God, and
really crush it as a singleperson.
SPEAKER_01 (00:23):
Hey Uncommon Leaders, welcome back.
This is the Uncommon LeaderPodcast.
I'm your host, John Gallagher,and today is going to be
awesome.
I've got a second time guest,Bob Wheatley, who's with us.
But this time he brings on anadded moniker to his uh name
author, Bob Wheatley, also aformer professional athlete,
also a brand expert with BrandBuilders Group.
(00:48):
But now we get to add USA Todaybest-selling author to his
repertoire, to his bio, and makethat happen.
Bob, I can't wait to talk aboutnot just about your book, but
about the process you wentthrough.
Congratulations on USA Todaybest-selling author status.
Great to have you back on theshow.
How are you doing today?
SPEAKER_00 (01:07):
I'm doing great.
Yeah.
Thank you for having me on.
Obviously, a second time we'regoing to run it back, but we
always tell our clients there'sno such thing as a best-selling
author.
There are only best-sellingteams.
And I had a great team to helpme accomplish it.
We had a really great summer,and now the book is out in the
world and helping people.
Ultimately, that's why you writea book.
You want to change lives, youwant to help people, you want to
(01:28):
encourage.
So yeah, thank you so much.
It was a really fun August,that's for sure.
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
And that book is kind of hanging behind your
shoulder there for thosewatching on the video.
It's called Single Minded: Finding Purpose and Strength in (01:37):
undefined
Your Season of Singleness.
It's much more than a guide,though, within kind of
singleness.
And we're going to talk aboutthat a little bit.
It's a powerful lesson inresilience and intentionality in
prayer, uh, ultimately indiscipleship, you know, as
you've been on that journey inlife.
And then we're going to get,frankly, a chance to talk about
how the process of writing abook and becoming uh a
(02:01):
bestseller.
It's funny how you say that.
I mean, it's called abestseller, not a best written.
We'll talk about that as well.
But I want to dive into yourbook.
Look, I find uh fascination.
So I'm married, I've beenmarried for 32 years, so I
wasn't the target audience foryour book.
But when I read through and geta chance to share that with
others, I love to jump into theintroduction right off the bat
because there's a story usuallybehind the writing of the book,
(02:23):
and then the acknowledgments atthe end to recognize there are
people that had a big part inputting together all that stuff
in the middle.
And I loved your story at thestart with regards to the
Pauline Advantage that youdefined.
And I want you to talk to meabout that, about how you
ultimately it led you to writingthis book.
Uh what is the PaulineAdvantage?
SPEAKER_00 (02:43):
Yeah, so the book is structured as a 30-day
challenge.
It's meant to be read inbite-sized chunks, 10 minutes a
day, day after day for 30 days.
The initial intro chapter, likemost nonfiction books, is just
four or five pages of hey,here's why I wrote the book.
So the book is called ThePauline Advantage, and or sorry,
(03:03):
the chapter is called ThePauline Advantage.
And essentially what the entirereason why this book came to be
is I started reading FirstCorinthians seven.
And I'm sure I had read thatbefore and just kind of glossed
over it and didn't really caremuch.
I was really feeling single, iffor lack of better words, I was
feeling lonely, hopeless, leftout.
(03:25):
I was feeling behind on life.
I'm now in my mid-30s,unmarried.
I've always wanted to be ahusband.
I've always wanted to be afather.
I'm neither of those thingstoday.
And I was feeling it wheneverthis was, let's say two, three
years ago.
And there's the Apostle Paul.
That's where you get the wordPauline.
The Apostle Paul in 1Corinthians 7 is writing to the
Christians in this new church inCorinth, and he's talking about
(03:48):
love and he's talking aboutrelationships and how do we
navigate these things.
When speaking to the singleChristians, this is my
paraphrase, but he says, I,Paul, wish that you singles
could remain single on accountof the spiritual benefits that
you have.
He says that the married man,his interests are divided, but
(04:09):
the single person can have awholehearted devotion to God.
That really challenged mebecause there I was sitting in
my singleness, just wallowing,like, God, this is this is a
prison sentence.
This is a death wish.
This is the worst thing ever.
Or even on a lighter note, thisis my waiting season.
I'm sure you've never heard thatbefore, John.
When singles like, this is mywaiting season.
(04:29):
Like eventually my life willstart when my husband, when my
wife shows up.
That is not a biblicalstatement.
Here's the apostle Paul in FirstCorinthians seven saying, Hey
guys, if you're single, Iactually wish you would remain
that way because it's soawesome.
On a spiritual level, if yourgoal is to pursue the Lord and
serve him, I wish you couldremain single.
(04:51):
But what really, like I said, Ihad read First Corinthians seven
before and just glossed over it.
I thought, oh, you know, Paul isthis Christian superhero.
I'm living here in 2025 inNashville, Tennessee.
I am not Paul.
I could never do that.
I'm wired differently.
Paul had unique giftings, and Ijust I did not heed that advice.
(05:11):
And then I was reading a book.
It's called Bonhoeffer.
It's by Eric Metaxis.
It's a biography on DietrichBonhoeffer, who, for those who
don't know, he was a Germanpastor.
He ended up getting martyred inWorld War II, sort of fought
against the Nazi regime, not onthe battlefield per se, but more
so in politics, in letters, inthought leadership from the
(05:32):
pulpit, essentially.
So I was reading this book byEric Metaxis called Bonhoeff,
and the book is just awesome.
I think it won the book of theyear in 2008, whenever it came
out.
For hundreds of pages, I wasreading about this martyred
German pastor named DietrichBonhoeffer, and it was like
apples to apples.
It was the same person wherepersonality types, very similar
(05:56):
to me.
The way he decorated his bedroomis very Spartan.
It was just like a bed, a desk,some books.
I saw so much of myself in him.
And of course, it's this is anational best-selling book.
You, as the reader, you alwaysassociate with the main
character.
You're like, I see myself inhim, I see myself in her.
But this was uncanny.
The level of it was just sosimilar, all the way down to our
(06:19):
birthdays.
So Dietrich Bonhoeffer was bornFebruary 4th, 1906.
I was born February 4th, 1992.
When I saw that, I was justlike, all right, this is my
long-lost twin.
We're separated by you knowdecades in a really big ocean.
But I see a lot of myself inDietrich Bonhoeffer, or that's
how I felt.
Then I came to this quote byanother pastor at the time who
(06:42):
was a mentor of Bonhoeffer.
His name is Theodore Heckel.
And it's written in the book,Theodore Heckel is praising
Bonhoeffer, this youngup-and-coming pastor.
And then I got to the quote thatchanged everything.
Heckel, speaking aboutBonhoeffer, says he has, in
addition, the special Paulineadvantage in that he is
unmarried.
And that just crushed me.
(07:03):
That was like dagger to theheart because hundreds of pages
are like, I am Dietrich.
Dietrich is me.
This is my long-lost twin.
This is awesome.
I want to be like him.
And then when I saw that, quote,not by the Apostle Paul, by a
20th century Christian and apastor, somebody who is really
doing the Christian walk well,saying, Yeah, he has the Pauline
(07:25):
advantage in that he isunmarried.
That changed everything for mebecause I have been feeling very
single, very behind, stuck in mywaiting season.
God, when is this going tochange?
And then there's another doubletap, a double stamp on Bob.
I have something for you rightnow.
You are in an advantage season.
This isn't a season to sprintout of and pray, man, can it
(07:48):
just end tomorrow?
I have something for you.
So that was really the genesisof the book.
And like I said, it's a 30-daychallenge.
I walk the reader through 30different areas of their life.
So it is not necessarily arelationship book.
We talk about money.
We talk about music.
We talk about friends.
Of course, we talk about themore relational things like
dating, marriage, sex, all that.
(08:10):
But we are human beings.
We're not just a husband, awife.
We are human beings.
And God has a lot of awesomethings for the single Christian
that I was not tapping intountil Dietrich Bonhoeffer,
Theodore Heckel, and the ApostlePaul challenged me.
That's how it started.
SPEAKER_01 (08:27):
You know, there's so much in what you said.
And first of all, I mean, thankyou for sharing that background
with the listeners of thepodcast.
And when you get the book,you'll get to hear that again
and recognize that first of all,let's use the brand builders
group analogy.
You're most powerfullypositioned to help the person
that you once were.
In this case, you still are, butthat's what makes you
authorized, in essence, to writethis book in terms of where you
(08:49):
all are on your journey.
I love the transparency in termsof recognizing that you also
just kind of skimmed over it asyou read it before.
Look, the first time you're onthe podcast, I know this about
you, Bob, you are a reader ofthe Bible.
There's a number of years, Ithink it's more than 20, that in
a row that you've read theentire Bible all the way
(09:11):
through.
And so there's some reason atthis point in time where you're
feeling down that you recognizethese words.
They jump off the page a littlebit differently.
And again, this happens in theBible as a Christian in terms of
how we're listening for thevoice of God.
It happens as readers in termsof leadership books, like, yeah,
that's me.
Who here I am right here.
(09:31):
He's talking to me.
I can hear his voice by readingthese words and letting me know
that.
So to recognize that at thatpoint in time, clearly there was
not an accident as to when youread those words.
And then lastly, to set up thestructure the way you did to
help others in terms of these,you know, to be done in 30 days,
or however you end up doing it.
You got these 30, you know,chapters that are set up, each
(09:53):
one of them start with yoursomething.
And I had written down ones thatyou mentioned, some of them,
your God, yourself, your pride,your loneliness, your money, and
all those things.
I love the construct of the bookthat you've done, and I know
it's going to help more.
I want to talk about that inmore how you're using it to help
others as well, so that you canshare that.
(10:14):
But talk to me a little bitabout the structure of how you
wrote the book as well.
So you started out with ascripture that was uh connected
to that topic, and then you kindof wrote the body of the
chapter, if you will, and thenfinished with a call to action
or a challenge.
Tell me a little bit about whatwas there as you walk through
that.
SPEAKER_00 (10:30):
Yeah, I wanted the book to be an interactive
experience.
And you just laid it outperfectly where the initial
start to every chapter, there'sgoing to be a Bible verse to
kind of set the tone, then abrief story, whether it's in my
own life or we're talking aboutthe Titanic or George
Washington.
There's something to prove apoint.
And then the book ends, orsorry, the chapter ends in a
(10:51):
challenge where every daythere's something that I'm
calling the reader into.
Some things are super easy.
It might be a prayer.
It's like you close the book,minute later, you're done with a
challenge.
Other things require a littlemore legwork.
It might be calling a friend.
It might be cooking a meal.
There's a chapter on your food.
How do we, as a single person,if we have this advantage and we
(11:12):
can really seek God in thisseason, what does how does our
food, what we're going to havefor dinner tonight, how does
that help us further connectwith God?
That's a day.
So on that day on the challenge,I encourage the reader, hey,
either cook or go out and buyyour favorite meal.
How's that for a challenge?
And use that as an opportunityto connect with your father.
(11:34):
Every good and perfect gift isfrom above.
So those, you know, burger andfries, steak and potatoes, a
massive salad if you're more ofthe health kick.
That's from him.
That is your father giving yousomething awesome to enjoy with
him.
He could just give us astronautfood, or he could make us like
plants and trees or Superman.
(11:56):
We could just get our energyfrom the sun.
No, we don't have that.
We have millions of differentfruits and vegetables and salt
and sweet and all of that stuff,different cuisines from all over
the world.
That's simply because God is aGod of variety and he wants us
to have an awesome life.
That's just a blessing from him.
So to bring it back to thestructure of things, the entire
(12:17):
purpose of the book is to helpthe single Christian who feels
behind, who feels hopeless, whofeels like I am going to be
stuck in this less than seasonforever.
The purpose of the book is topull them out of that, maybe
point them in the direction ofan apostle Paul, of a Dietrich
Bonhoeffer and say, Your God,your father loves you.
(12:39):
There, this is not a if you'rewatching this on video, marriage
is not higher and thensingleness is lower.
No, the Bible says they areequal.
It's almost like as a Christian,we cannot lose.
You can't lose.
If you're single, awesome.
The Apostle Paul says you mighteven want to stay that way
because it's, in his opinion,better.
If you do get married one day,great, you can't lose.
(13:00):
That's what you've been prayingfor the whole time, anyway.
You have companionship, you canhave kids, guilt-free sex is on
the table.
You can't lose.
But again, if you're watchingthis on video, this disconnect
of marriage is higher,singleness is lower.
That's oftentimes how peoplefeel and how the church somewhat
teaches things.
It's like we feed into thattoday.
(13:20):
Oh, like we're coming into theholiday season.
Christmas is coming up.
There are going to be people whogo home and see their parents or
their grandparents and they're34 years old and not married.
And it's kind of the, hey, whenare you going to give me some
grandkids?
Like it's the classic joke.
Oh, yeah.
Like, I'm sorry.
Sorry, guys.
That 34-year-old's singleness ortheir relationship status, it is
(13:43):
not about giving you grandkids.
It is about serving God.
And if the apostle Paul was atyour Christmas dinner, he might
have something else to say tothat 34-year-old.
So I what I really wanted to doin the book is change the
conversation in the church towhere we don't look at single
Christians as people that areless than, or that's so cute.
(14:04):
Like one day you'll level upfrom JV to the varsity.
No, I want to, I want us toencourage the single person.
We do not need to be fixed.
We need to be unleashed.
We are fully available.
We can do God's bidding.
We need to be unleashed assingle Christians.
We don't need to be fixed.
SPEAKER_01 (14:20):
Bob, man, that's so good.
That's so good.
And I love the picture.
I mean, again, those of youseeing the video of recognizing,
and as I, as I think and Ireflect just as you're talking,
I recognize that the churchdoesn't do a phenomenal job of
ministering to that community.
We're going to talk to just asecond about how, you know, what
your book is doing for thatcommunity as well to help level
(14:43):
that up, to bring them, if youwill, into recognition that they
are not less than a marriedperson.
I was smiling when you weretalking about food as well.
I just had the chance to be withmy men's group this morning, and
we had a guy bring over aplateful of Danishes and set
them in the middle of one of ourtables.
And I was at that table, and acouple of them uh partook in the
(15:04):
Danish, and a few of us did notpartake in that Danish.
And you mentioned that in termsof food, and I just love the
reference to I wrote them downas a note that every gift is a
gift from above.
And even those Danishes and uhblueberry muffins that were
there, and those that took it,hey, if that's what they want
inside of that space, it was agift from God.
And those that choose not totake it was okay as well.
(15:24):
I think that's so connected.
But I love how you've back toyou know, really the message of
your book.
I love how you've made thatvisual of we're not less than.
And so the book was just a book,and we'll talk about how you got
it to a bestseller here in aminute.
But how are you taking it evenfurther with regards to the
book?
And what other resources are youmaking available that allow you
(15:45):
to close that gap between uhmarried and the single person in
the church?
SPEAKER_00 (15:50):
Yeah, one of the biggest challenges that I see in
the church today is there'ssimply not a place for the
single person.
They, we oftentimes feel leftout in the church because if
you're not in the young adultsgroup, which is 21 to 29, what
happens if you're 34?
All right, you're not invitedhere.
You've aged out of young adults.
Now you're just an adult adult.
(16:11):
So where do you go with that?
Okay, well, I can't go to themarried group, I can't go to the
newborns group.
How do I raise my first child?
What do I do?
And I also recognize thechallenge from the church's side
as well, because are you tiredof being tired?
SPEAKER_01 (16:27):
I know I was.
That's when I was glad to findown it coaching.
Now my resting heart rate's down20%, sleep quality up 300%.
You know, I just ran my firstSpartan rage at age 56.
I feel better than I ever have.
So if you're ready to stopsettling and start owning your
own health, go tocoachjohngallagher.com forward
(16:48):
slash own it and set up a freecall with the own it coaching
team.
That's coachjohngallagher.comforward slash own it.
SPEAKER_00 (16:56):
Now, let's get back to the experience.
As I speak to more and morechurches, they're like, Yeah, we
have a ton of single people thatare asking us, can you give us
something?
Can you give us a group, acurriculum, a gathering,
something we feel really leftout?
The challenge that the church isfacing is really twofold.
Number one is you got to askyourself the question, who's
actually gonna lead it at thechurch?
(17:16):
Unless there's somebody who issprinting to the front of the
room, hey God, send me.
Who's gonna lead that group?
It's not something as obvious asa young adult's because there's
gonna be a lot of people from 21to 29 every single year.
As the 30s age out, the 20s agein.
So that's something that's gonnabe consistently there.
(17:37):
And unless it's a specificburden or group that's on your
heart, there's just not a lot ofpeople in church leadership that
will raise their hand and say,Yes, I'm gonna volunteer to lead
the singles group.
The second challenge is let'scall it like it is a lot of
people that are going to thatsingles group are not
necessarily going there becauseof the Pauline advantage.
They're going there to hopefullyfind a spouse.
SPEAKER_01 (17:59):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (18:00):
And that's okay.
There's nothing wrong with that.
And for the record, my book isnot the you should be single
forever because Paul was book.
That is not my message.
That's not even what Paul saysin First Corinthians seven.
He also says, Hey, if you wantto be married, it's not a sin.
If you're burning with passion,get married.
Again, as Christians, we can'tlose.
Single, that's a win.
(18:21):
Married, that's a win.
But the challenge for the churchis all right, we don't want to
set up a dating service.
All the most of the people thatare coming to this event would
love to be out of this group insix months anyway, versus a
young adult.
Let's say they start in thatgroup at 23 years old after they
leave college, they're going tobe in that group on purpose
happily for seven years.
(18:42):
So I understand the challenge.
What I wanted to do in this bookis I created, yes, a 30-day
challenge for the individual,but I also have a five-week
church curriculum that goesalong with it.
It's basically just guiding uhnot an individual, but a group
through the book.
So week one is everybody getstheir books.
We talk through the PaulineAdvantage.
(19:02):
It's sort of a reframing of yourseason of singleness.
Hey guys, let's crush it.
If you're here, you're probablysingle.
Let's crush it when we'resingle.
And you might be married thistime next year, but you're
single today.
How do we crush it?
That would be week one.
And then weeks two, three, four,five is basically just walking
the 30-day challenge.
And if you remember, John, thebook is broken up into those
(19:24):
four sections heart, soul, mind,strength.
That's the five-week curriculum.
I wanted to give the church anexcuse to start singles groups.
And even that name, singlesgroups, like there's gonna be
some negative undertones withthat.
Like, oh, here's the less thans,here's the people that are sad
(19:44):
and lonely and depressed, thesingles group, or here's the you
know, the speed dating group.
It's like, no, guys, we need todefine singleness as the apostle
Paul did, as your Bible does.
Singleness is awesome, it's veryunique.
There are definitely challengesto it.
I myself, I still want to bemarried.
I believe, I still praying forthat.
And there are definitedifficulties.
(20:06):
I get lonely.
I'm a human being.
And yet, those promises andthose challenges, those
exhortations in 1 Corinthians 7are still there.
So I'm doing the best I can tocrush it before marriage and
help other people to do thesame.
I think that's so cool.
SPEAKER_01 (20:21):
And again, the recognition of by naming it
something, right?
It gets an immediate stigmainside the church, especially,
frankly.
I mean, you look at thedifferent groups that are
created, they tend to be formedaround problems rather than um
opportunities.
Uh people change when they'reinspired or when they're in
desperation.
And you know, they might bearound shame or around financial
(20:42):
peace because they're in debtand they want to get out of
debt.
So by reframing that season thatyou're talking about and making
it great, making an opportunity,I think that can be really,
really powerful.
And I hope we can get thatinformation uh into the hands of
more, including, uh, I want toshare with my pastors of church
as well.
And I'm gonna share this episodewith them to start off and then
(21:03):
the book to really get them inmind.
We talked about that.
I told you the name would cometo my mind as well, because you
know, we've got, I'll tell youthat afterward.
I wrote it down just to makesure I won't uh make it known on
the podcast, but there areothers that I can see who would
benefit from this.
Because the other side of that,to your point, who's gonna run
to the front?
Uh you're not gonna get amarried person to run to the
front to teach a single-mindedcourse.
(21:23):
You got to get a single personto say, I'm up for it.
Let's go do this and make thathappen.
So important.
I love the book, Bob, in termsof what's there within the book.
Uh, with regards to ourconversation, I do want to make
it a little bit of a shift.
Uh, the other side of what we'retalking about is that
best-selling author status, thatnew ribbon that's on your book,
that sticker that says USAToday, best-selling author.
(21:47):
Look, the niche of your book,you already talked about this,
is pretty small with regards towho you're trying to reach and
recognizing who you wrote itfor.
How in the world did you turnthis into a best-selling book
then with a niche that small?
SPEAKER_00 (21:57):
Yeah, it was an amazing result.
So, the USA Today, for those whodon't know, there's 150 books on
the list.
That would be the onlineversion, 150 books.
It's saying these are the top150 books in the nation this
week.
Now, the newspaper prints 50.
So I would have loved to benumber 149.
That would still be a USA Todaybestseller, but it's kind of
(22:19):
cool to have your name, yourbook in the papers.
Like, okay, I'm kind of shootingfor the top 50.
The book was number eight, top10, number eight in the country
came out.
It was just an amazing result.
And the benefit that I had inworking, I have a full-time job
with Brand Builders Group.
John, obviously, we've metthrough BBG.
The benefit that I had is we runprobably 12 book launches a
(22:41):
month.
It's something that weconsistently do.
Some are smaller than mine, someare significantly bigger than
mine.
John Maxwell, Ed Milette, AmyPorterfield, Lewis Howes.
These are all New York Times,Wall Street Journal best-selling
authors, people that werehelping.
So I had the benefit of numberone, having a very good plan, a
very good sales strategy as faras my launch, but also seeing
(23:04):
some other failed launchesbecause I'm privy to that type
of information and seeing, I'mjust in that world.
I see a lot of book launches ona monthly basis.
So we saw some near misses, andI was able to self-diagnose and
see, okay, what happened?
What went wrong?
Why did this person miss thelist?
(23:26):
And I won't share any names justfor the sake of privacy.
It's their story, it's not mine.
We had a client, John, who didour bestseller launch plan
workshop.
And it was an awesome two-dayevent.
I was actually a part of it.
So I was there to see all thestrategy and everything that we
encouraged them to employ.
And they did none of it.
They didn't follow the plan.
Or I should say, none of it isnot completely accurate.
(23:48):
They opted for more of themarketing stuff.
It was updating the website, itwas the social media posts.
We always tell our clientsmarketing is slow, but sales is
fast.
Marketing is slow, but sales isfast.
And so this again, namelessclient that missed the list,
they had a massive platform.
We're talking hundreds ofthousands, almost almost a
(24:11):
million followers on socialmedia now.
They had a membership ofthousands of paying clients,
thousands of paying customers.
I sold three times as many booksas they did.
And I today, I'm not famous.
I have 3,500 followers onInstagram.
So you might be listening tothis, you're like, all right,
here's Bob and Brain Buddhistgroup throwing out John Maxwell.
(24:32):
He's the number one leadershipauthor of all time.
I could never be John.
Guys, I have 3,500 followers onInstagram.
I am not famous, but what I didhave is a great plan.
What I saw in that failed launchis okay, I cannot focus on
marketing.
I can't make this cutesy booklaunch website and hope that
(24:54):
people find me.
I need to old fashion thisthing.
I need to pick up the phone,smile and dial, and do some
sales.
So that was really my strategy.
And it was the perfect storm.
It was how do I still do themarketing stuff?
I did update my website.
I did post on social media, buthow do I take that and then add
(25:14):
in the speaking appearances, thepodcast appearances?
I wrote a number of guest blogsfor people.
I did a crowdfunding campaignbecause a lot of these churches,
they don't have great budgetsfor this.
Like as we're recording this, Ihave a speaking event.
I'm speaking at a university onMonday, 250 student athletes.
It's going to be an awesomestage.
(25:34):
It's going to be a great chapelservice.
Yet they did not have thebudget.
Let's say I'm selling my bookfor$15.
What's$15 times$250?
$5,000,$6,000, like in thatballpark?
They're not, they didn't have abudget for$6,000 for a chapel
speaker.
So what I had to do is get theget the stage commitment from
(25:56):
the university.
And then I did fundraising,friends, family.
It's stuff like that.
That's a sales mindset.
That is sales is fast.
I'm picking up the phone, I'mmaking things happen versus
marketing is I'm going to postthis on Instagram and hope
people care about it.
You see the difference?
SPEAKER_01 (26:13):
So it's just a very passive, absolutely.
Baseball world.
You're catching it, right?
Rather than pitching it kind ofthing and going forward.
I mean, the two the twopositions, active and passive,
are very different in terms ofwhat you're telling me.
So in uh I've not written a bookbefore, although I've had a
conversation and when last timeI was with some folks from BBG,
I probably slowed uh my roledown just a little bit in terms
(26:34):
of when I wanted to write a bookbecause of what we're talking
about right here.
The actual act of writing thebook versus the selling of the
book feels a little bit to melike a fitness plan for
yourself, where I would oftensay, if I just exercise hard
enough, I can eat whatever Iwant to.
But I know that I can'tout-exercise a bad diet and that
(26:54):
in my journey to physical healthgoing forward and where I've
been, it feels like it's about70% nutrition and 30% exercise.
What I hear you saying, it'sabout to a certain extent, it's
about 30% writing the book andabout 70% selling the book.
Is that what it felt like toyou?
And is it in terms of time, interms of energy?
SPEAKER_00 (27:14):
Well, it truly depends on your goal.
So when you break it down to the70-30, what we're assuming there
is that person's goal is to be anational bestseller, where the
goal is sales.
If that is true, 100%.
Yeah, I mean, it's the classic,it's a Robert Kiyosaki quote.
It is not New York Times bestwriting author.
It's New York Times bestsellingauthor.
(27:36):
And what's funny is 98% ofbest-selling books hit the list
in week one and then never hitit again.
Now, sometimes you'll have theperennial seller, the atomic
habits of the world that's onthe list for five years.
98% of books like mine hit it inlaunch week and then fall off
because I'm not a James Clearatomic habits.
(27:59):
So I had to, I had to have abook launch tsunami.
I need all of the vectors,everything.
It's like calling a trick playin football.
Everything just needs to pointin the same direction to hit on
one week.
And so with my first podcastappearance with you, I came up
with a book in 2023.
And my goal for that book wasnot to be a national bestseller.
I wasn't even sniffing the USAtoday.
(28:21):
I just wanted to have a bookout.
So it depends on the goals.
But if you're an activebusiness, if you're an active
personal brand and you say, youknow what, it would really
change the trajectory of mycareer to hit a list.
Yeah, 100%.
We would say that the salescomponent of it is what gets you
on the list.
The writing itself, like my 30days, my Pauline Advantage, my
(28:45):
chapter on food, that is what isgoing to take that first reader
and help them refer it to otherpeople.
That allows for the long-termsales.
Is the book actually good?
Because it's just kind of insidebaseball.
What if you think about it, 98%of books hitting the list in
launch week, those are allpre-orders, which means nobody
has actually read the book.
(29:06):
Isn't that funny?
Right.
Yeah, it is kind of interesting.
Back to the best-sellingcomponent of what's happening
there, right?
So you could see a book thathits the New York Times or hits
the USA today.
It's like, wow, they were anumber, number five New York
Times bestseller, and nobodyknows what's in the book.
That's that's pretty wild.
So that is if you're listeningto this and thinking about
writing a book, the salescomponent is so important.
(29:30):
It is the most important when itcomes to hitting a list.
Now, of course, you got to writea good book because you might be
a sales maven, but if the bookis terrible, nobody's gonna read
it a second time or refer it.
So you'll have a really goodlaunch week and then it just
falls flat.
You got to do both.
That's the moral of the story.
SPEAKER_01 (29:45):
Love that.
And we, you know, we have thatconnection together with uh this
group called Brand BuildersGroup.
I would hold your book up, butI've given my copy out to let
somebody read it, to let themborrow it to get it back.
And I still have my Kindle copythat helped me get ready for
this.
But you know, that that's Thatis the space, the organization,
brand builders group, wealthyand well known.
That's when I heard from RoryVaden, who was the author,
(30:06):
co-author of Wealthy and WellKnown, which is a New York Times
bestselling book as it camethrough.
You know, your team, yourorganization inspires,
encourages, and equips authorsto hit that list if they want
to.
Absolutely.
So talk to me a little bit abouthow you advise authors and
speakers generally.
(30:27):
And I've had the question saidturn their books into a
successful business, but I'mactually the other way in terms
of the question.
How do you encourage authors whohave a successful business to
then potentially become anauthor as well and go through
that journey?
SPEAKER_00 (30:40):
Yeah.
Well, you alluded to it earlierin our conversation today.
It's the classic, this is likethe brand builder's bumper
sticker.
This is what we tell all of ourclients.
You are most powerfullypositioned to serve the person
you once were.
We all we also say that a bookis usually your conclusion on a
matter.
It's not something that you're,I'm still considering this, I'm
(31:01):
still researching this.
No, if you're gonna put 200pages together on a subject, you
have a conclusion.
So there might be some businessowners that aren't ready to
write a book.
You're in your first couple ofyears in business, you got to
worry about cash flow andpayroll and things like that, is
totally fine.
The book is a, you know what?
I have come to my conclusion,and the past version of me would
(31:22):
have really benefited from thissubject matter.
So yeah, as far as the book,there's a lot of great
businesses, John, that don'thave books.
It's not something that's aprerequisite to serving people,
not at all.
We help hundreds of clients thatwill never be authors.
But if you want to publish abook, game on.
We're great at that.
We love helping people withthat, but it's really going back
(31:44):
to your personal brand as awhole.
You are here to make the world abetter place, to serve the
person that you once were.
In a nutshell, you know, theclassic Larry Wingitt quote, we
say this again all the time atbrand builders events live.
We need to find your uniquenessand exploit it in the service of
others.
That's the entire reason why westart a business, write a book,
(32:04):
give a TED talk.
We need to discover how is Johndifferent?
That's your uniqueness.
And then you don't hog thatuniqueness, you don't hog those
gifts and talents and passions.
No, you go out in the world andyou serve people with it.
Find your uniqueness, exploit itin the service of others.
SPEAKER_01 (32:20):
Love that.
And Bob, look, I can stillremember the conversations we
had, you know, almost four yearsago as we come up on this date
about brand builders group andthe potential value as I was
learning about them, and youwere the salesperson who was
making me aware of the benefitsthat were there.
Still today, I'm a big fan ofBrand Builders Group and also
still being coached by BrandBuilders Group in my brand
(32:43):
journey as well.
If folks want to learn moreabout Brand Builders Group and
that process, how do you suggestthey really get engaged in that
activity?
SPEAKER_00 (32:51):
Yeah, well, I am so there's a number of different
ways that we connect withclients.
If we can, I'd love to just givethe audience the audiobook for
free.
That's something that we'redoing.
The book is already out, likeyou said, it was a New York
Times bestseller in July.
Guys, we already hit the list.
We're doing great.
So we're just giving away theaudiobook for free.
So if we can, let's just let'sthrow the link in the show notes
(33:12):
to give away the book.
That's going to be a great freeresource for folks.
And I think for sure.
Yep.
Yeah.
And I think we had set up a linkfor you because you've been a
client.
You've been a client for many,many years.
And so we always we find thatour best relationships come from
people that are already in theprogram because we're not hiding
anything from you, John.
(33:33):
You've been a paying client formany years.
You know what's going on.
And so, didn't you have awebsite personally?
We do.
SPEAKER_01 (33:39):
We'll put that in there as well, the
coachjohngallagher.com forwardslash BBG.
And that gives an opportunity toreally set up uh a free
conversation with the folks atBrand Builders Group to see if
they might be able to help youon your journey, whether it's as
an author, as a speaker, as acoach, or ultimately anywhere in
your business where you'relooking to build a personal
brand.
And you know what I talk aboutwhen folks go there is that you
(34:02):
know the study that's done, youall set up the study that 74% of
people will buy from someonethey trust with a personal brand
versus buying from a company.
So I continue to see the valueand what's there for brand
builders groups.
So we'll put that link in theshow notes as well,
coachshawngallagher.com forwardslash BBG.
We'll put the link to the freeaudio book to get your copy of
(34:24):
Wealthy and Well Known.
Uh that's the New York Timesbestselling book.
And Bob, how do we get them intouch with you as well directly
about your book?
Where do you want them to go?
And also to learn more aboutyou.
SPEAKER_00 (34:35):
Best place is just bobwheatly.com.
Everything's there, both mybooks, all my speaking assets
and things like that.
If you, let's say you'relistening to this and you do
have a church and you say, Man,I believe there's a gap there.
I believe there's a lot ofsingle people that could benefit
from this.
Just again, there's a contactpage.
It'll just send you directly tobobwheatly.com.
Just shoot me an email and yeah,we'd love to serve however we
(34:57):
can.
We're doing workshops across thecountry with this.
And if there's an opportunity tohelp your community as well,
let's do this.
That's why I wrote it.
We want to help people.
So yeah, thank you for that.
SPEAKER_01 (35:05):
I'll put that link in the show notes as well,
bobwheatly.com before to be sureto go out there and connect with
him and look into some of thoseresources that are coming out.
You know, those of you uhcertainly uh that can provide
this opportunity for folks whomay be in this season.
Bob, I so appreciate how you uhtold the story.
I'm gonna give you the last wordhere and then I'll close us out
ultimately.
(35:25):
But when you think about themessage that you continuously
try to convey, I'm gonna giveyou a billboard.
You can put any message that youwant to on that billboard.
What's that message you want thelisteners to hear and why do you
want them to hear that message?
SPEAKER_00 (35:39):
Very simple.
Every morning when I sat down towrite this book, I had a sheet
of paper telling me what themessage was.
Three words.
Focus on Jesus.
The book title, Single-Minded,single-minded on what?
On Jesus.
He's going to change everything.
That's what the apostle Paul issaying in 1 Corinthians 7.
Why is the single Christian inan advantaged season?
(36:00):
Because their interests are notdivided.
They don't have to worry aboutthe husband, the wife, the kids,
the soccer practice.
They can be completely lockedin, focused on Jesus, focused on
God, and really crush it as thesingle person.
So yeah, if I had a billboard,be those three words, focus on
Jesus.
SPEAKER_01 (36:18):
Love that.
Bob, thank you so much.
I know you've added tremendousvalue to the listeners of the
Uncommon Leader podcast.
And I know you're going to addvalue to so many more with your
book and with your study thatyou're doing and having the
impact on the people that youwant to.
Thank you so much for being aguest.
Thank you for having me.
Hey, listeners, I think you knowsomeone who has to hear this
message.
(36:38):
If you know someone who does,please share this episode and
whatever platform that you can.
Let them know.
And also, I bet you know someonewho needs to get a copy of this
book.
I would ask that you really uhthink about who that is uh in
your life that needs to receivea copy of this book and look to
gift that for them.
That would be something to bereally powerful.
Certainly, if you appreciatedour conversation, we would love
(36:59):
it if you would also leave areview on the podcast and let
folks know.
That's how we get this messageinto more and more people's
hands.
Otherwise, thank you forlistening and getting to this
point in the podcast.
Until next time, go and growchampions.
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