March 25, 2025 • 28 mins
In this exciting episode, we're revisiting my engaging conversation with state champion Head Coach Jacob Gruse. Recorded during the onset of March Madness a couple years ago, this episode quickly became one of our most downloaded episodes! Join us as Coach Gruse shares his journey, insights on leadership, and powerful stories that have impacted his life and career.
Key Highlights:
- Leadership Impact: Jacob shares an inspiring story about how his parents influenced his leadership style and his upbringing in West Virginia. He delves into the values of hard work and sacrifice that his mom and dad instilled in him.
- Coaching Journey: Gruse reflects on his experiences from high school through various coaching roles, including a challenging period at West Virginia Tech, and the many hats he wore that shaped his appreciation for his assistant coaches.
- Family Sacrifices: The episode discusses the sacrifices made by his wife, Kristen, during their time apart when he pursued his dream of college coaching. Her unwavering support played a huge role in his journey.
- Humility and Growth: Coach Gruse talks about his continuous growth as a coach, thanks in part to the feedback from his character coach, Pastor John Sharp, and the importance of building strong relationships with his players.
- Legacy and Success: For Coach Gruse, success isn't just about winning games, but about the lasting relationships he forms with his players. He cherishes when former players return to visit and share life updates.
- Mantra of Being a Good Person: Gruse emphasizes the importance of simply being a good person, looking for opportunities to help others, and how this mindset can create positive change in the world.
Resources Mentioned:
- Book: There’s No Place Like Home by Eddie Lloyd - A riveting read about Gruse's state championship journey with Cave Spring High School.
- Connect with Jacob Gruse on Instagram to stay updated on his coaching journey.
Join us as we listen to the wisdom of Coach Gruse and take away valuable lessons on leadership, sacrifice, and personal growth.
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Until next time, Go and Grow Champions!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Buckle up for the Uncommon Leader Podcast Just
friends hanging out and breakingdown leadership challenges and
unwrapping techniques that canbe applied to make a difference.
A fun look at what is possibleif we lead in an uncommon way.
An invitation to be thechampion we were created to be,
not your typical leadershippodcast.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Welcome back Uncommon Leader podcast listeners.
My guest today is Jacob Gruss,the high school basketball coach
at K Spring High School inRoanoke, virginia.
The Knights were able to winthe state championship just two
years ago and it was documentedin a book recently by Eddie
Lloyd called there's no PlaceLike Home.
I'll put a link to it in theshow notes.
I was able to consume it inabout two nights.
(00:47):
It's a fun story about how theteam went through a season and
the challenges they faced.
Coach Gruss and I talk aboutthe book and other stories about
people who have influenced hislife and who he is and wants to
be as an uncommon leader.
This was a lot of fun.
If you're sticking around tothe end, learn how you can win a
copy of the book.
Here we go.
All right, coach Gruss.
(01:12):
State championship.
Coach Cave Spring High School.
It's great to have you on theUncommon Leader podcast.
How are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Man, I'm doing fantastic, Just really
appreciate being able toreconnect with you and be on
here.
Man, it's a real honor andprivilege to be on here with you
.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
I know we had a chance a few minutes before we
started here to talk about thatconnecting and how we lived in
the same town, but one of thesedays we'll get you down to
Myrtle Beach and a place for youto stay there as well as you
come down, so I'm lookingforward to that also.
Well, let me jump right in.
I know I asked the samequestion of all of my guests on
the show for my listeners, tellme a little bit, being this a
leadership podcast, tell me alittle bit about a story of your
(01:47):
youth or even early in yourcoaching career that's impacted
you such that still impacts youtoday, and who you are.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
When I immediately think about that, I think about
my mom and dad.
I've told everybody growing upin the great state of West
Virginia and I've got one olderbrother, a lot of my family's
still in West Virginia and I'vegot one older brother, a lot of
my family's still in WestVirginia.
My grandparents, who aredeceased now, lived.
One lived probably four minutesfrom the other.
One lived probably about sixminutes from me.
But when I think aboutleadership and who's impacted me
, you know to me, I immediatelygo to my mom and dad.
(02:15):
So I'm a servant of leadership.
My mom was a stay-at-homemother.
Every person thinks, man,that'd be a great job, and how
hard do they actually work.
My mother's a saint.
She dealt with my dad, mybrother me.
And so she had three kids iswhat I tell everybody and she
was a stay-at-home mother anddid an unbelievable job of
running the household, makingsure that we were at practices
(02:35):
when we were supposed to, makingsure our lunches and our
breakfast were ready, and justbeing the total caretaker for
the three of us.
It's just amazing what she did.
My dad was, you know, just ahardworking man.
But again, like when I thinkabout my dad, like I think about
all the sacrifices he made youknow If you've ever seen that
Facebook meme about dads Iremember my dad wearing a Panama
(02:57):
City Beach, a baseball classict-shirt from like 1993.
And the man still has it today.
I've never known my dad to spenda dime on himself.
He always wanted, we never didwithout, but we weren't spoiled.
Growing up, they taught usabout hard work and my dad
exemplified that every singleday of his life and he just
(03:18):
wanted to make sure that my momwas taken care of and me and my
brother were taken care of.
So to me, I immediately look atmy mom and dad and you know
just the role that they've hadin my life and still do.
And you know my dad every yearI buy him the gear that we buy
our team and he said before heretired he's retired, now that
he would he would see people belike Joe, do you coach?
(03:39):
And he'd be like, no, why, he'slike you've got Dan River
basketball shirts on.
Then you had Averitt Westiatech cave spray said you're
always in in in basketball gearand polos and stuff that we get
him.
So to me, when I think aboutthat man, I just, I just think
about the sacrifice my parentsmade and still do to this day.
They're just incredible people.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
They were just down this past weekend I can't thank
them enough for everythingthey've done for me no, I think
that's that's cool and I can'timagine some of the gear that
he's got, some of the swag thatyou've given him.
You've had an opportunity atmany schools to do that and he
still wears it right over top ofhis Panama Jack t-shirt, which
is probably underneath, just totuck you in underneath.
So that's a good story and Imean I think that's powerful
(04:19):
when you can really talk aboutthe influence of your parents
and what they've had on you andthen, ultimately, how they've
shaped who you are as a parent,having a young son and a young
daughter, as I've met thembefore and as they come up as
well.
So it's something that's reallybig.
Well, hey, thanks for sharingthat and again, I'll probably
reference and I'm going to putthis up even though nobody will
be able to see it just an audio.
(04:49):
But I've read your book no PlaceLike Home that came out, or
Eddie Lloyd wrote it, and quitea story about the state
championship season at K-SpringHigh School that you had
recently, and I am curious, Imean, when I think about that
book, that for me there was,there were power in both the
story of the games that theteams won and the adversity they
came through.
But ultimately for me it wasabout the front end of who Jacob
Gruss is and how he was formedand really at the end about
coaching the right way.
So let's let's start at thebeginning of that book and who
(05:11):
Jacob was.
You mentioned West Virginia acouple of times in the book.
It talks about the, the hollersof West Virginia.
You've coached at a WestVirginia college in terms of an
assistant coach and then been inVirginia at a couple couple
high school coaching stints.
As you've gone through, what isthe story that you remember of
all those teams, or even in oneof your high school teams that
has impacted you and kind ofsomething that sticks with you,
(05:33):
that you were able to tell yourteams and keep them going as
well.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
You know, to me it's again.
Everything for me goes back tofamily.
I'm just so rude in our familyand our family has been such a
pivotal part of my life andagain, my parents are just
unbelievable people.
Is my high school coach, texWilliams, still talk to this day
?
My dad played for him, mybrother played for him and then
(05:57):
I played for him.
So you know he was a tough sonof a gun, still is, to this day,
hard nose when I say old school, old school to me that's the
right way.
Just just really got after kids.
Uh, we call it now.
We call it intense fellowshipin our, in our program when
coaches have to get after eachother, because it's probably not
politically correct to saywe're screaming and yelling at
(06:18):
people.
So we call it intensefellowship time.
Like to me it was.
It's one of those things thatlike growing up and playing
basketball for coach williamswas, you couldn't come home at
the dinner table and be like man.
Coach was too hard on me orcoach was unfair on me unfair to
me because my dad played forhim in the 70s, my brother
played for him in the early 90sand I graduated in high school
(06:39):
in 1997.
I was out of school.
It wasn't like, hey, oh, you'reright, coach is being too tough
.
I was like man shut up.
We had it a whole lot harderthan you did.
So don't come home and whineand complain about, oh, he's
running you too much or you'redoing this Like we promise.
Our stories are way harder thanwhat you have.
So we've had tons of laughsabout things like that.
You know my, the cheerleader atSt Al's High School cheering
(07:02):
for my dad.
So it's all ingrained, man.
They still live in our hometown.
It's all ingrained and you know, I think that's cool to be able
to.
I don't know how many peoplecan actually say that they
played for their coach, thattheir dad played for.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yeah, that's not.
There aren't many that are ableto do that and I find that kind
of fun.
Again, even, as you say, thosecoaches that I had growing up
and I even had a little bit of achance to coach basketball in
the rec league as I went throughand got a chance to coach my
son, and that's challenging, man.
It's not easy to either againbe coached by your dad or be
(07:34):
coached by your dad's coach.
I guess that could be even morechallenging and some of the
things that come along with that.
So I bet those are reallychallenging.
And you mentioned coach Williamsbeing a tough coach.
I like that.
You weren't going to get anysympathy when he came home to
the kitchen table about himbeing too tough.
And again, that probably formeda little bit about who you are
today as well.
And in the spirit of listeningto the listeners of this podcast
(07:58):
talking about continuousleadership development, I know
you're a pretty tough coach too,no doubt about it.
I've had a chance to watch youfrom the stands and some of the
coaching that you have, and Iknow that you are a tough coach
In today's world.
How have you had to adjust?
How have you had to grow as aleader and as a coach, to coach
in that space and still be toughas well.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Yeah, I tell people all the time I'm not the easiest
guy to play for and I'm okaywith that.
Everybody say that the kids havechanged these days.
I totally disagree with that.
I think parents have changed.
I think that parents allow kidsto transfer too much.
I think kids are allowed to beable to escape hard situations
(08:39):
and adversity and I thinkparents just don't allow them to
experience those tough things.
So I have a hard time.
I heard Jason G, who used to bethe head coach at Longwood
University and was the headcoach at the University of
Charleston for a long time inWest Virginia, and I heard him
talk about that.
It really resonated with meLike we got to quit blaming kids
(08:59):
.
Like kids haven't changed.
It's the parents that havechanged.
I don't know if we're becominga softer generation or what,
what that is, but like coachinghas changed dramatically.
I'm probably not the same coachthat I was when I was a damn
river.
Some of those kids have comeand seen me coach and they're
like coach, you got soft in yourown.
It's like man, there's no wayyou'd let me get away with that.
(09:21):
And the kids here are like man,like coaches, really really,
really hard on me.
But I think with that too hascome age and maturity.
Like I was probably way toohard on my kids at Dan river I
think I'll be the first to admitthat and you know, when I left
there and got to be at WestVirginia Tech with Bob Williams,
who's now the PG coach at FortUnion Military Academy, like he
(09:42):
opened up my eyes to a lot ofthings and he was he still is a
tough son of a gun as well andjust really got after kids.
But I got to see it through anassistor role a little bit
better.
When you're sitting, you knowwhat is that?
16 inches over in one seat it'sa lot easier to see a game and
you've never missed a call ormade a bad play call from there.
It just gives you a differentperspective.
I've always not to toot my ownhorn, but I really feel like my
(10:05):
rapport with kids has alwaysbeen one of my strong suits I
probably have in coaching.
I'm probably not the best exesin those guys, but really
forming those relationships hasbeen really, really important.
I got to see how Coach formedthose relationships and how he
did things.
I really got to be able to takea step back and watch that and
I think that has really evolvedme into a coach.
(10:26):
Not many coaches go from beinga head coach and running their
own program to step back and bean assistant.
They usually go from head jobto head job to head job.
And honestly, it was the bestthing that I ever did.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
There's so much to what you just said.
I mean in that you know justover a couple minutes in terms
of going through it.
I mean the fact that I dobelieve I agree with you as well
that kids can be coached tough.
Today, you build a relationshipwith them, you set expectations
and hold them to a high-levelexpectation that that toughness
is not something that needs tobe an aggressive toughness, but
(10:59):
it is when you set the rules inplace and you follow the rules
or there are going to be changes.
So I appreciate that, to hearthat relationship building is so
important to you, with yourplayers as well, and how that
goes so far.
It allows you the opportunityto then lead.
And I think that last point andmaybe not as much even about
the kids, but just aboutleadership in general is the
(11:21):
opportunity to go from a headcoach to step back not
necessarily take a step back,but to step back and then be an
assistant.
You mentioned sit 16 inchesbeside somebody and watch them
do it, and how you can grow aswell.
Having a mentor there, having ateacher there that you can
learn from even more and thencome back in and be that much
better as you come back into thehead coach's chair, is powerful
(11:44):
as well.
So I think those are greatstories and great things for us
to learn from as well.
And you think about some of thethings you learn.
I got to believe you learned atWest Virginia Tech, but the
part of the story is that therewas also a sacrifice you had to
make as well, so you were notjust the assistant coach, but
you wore a lot of hats.
And then, secondly, one of thebigger sacrifices and again,
(12:04):
sacrifices that leaders have tomake today, whether it's in
coaching or in business or inlife is that you also had to
leave family behind, if you will, for a little while in that
story, and how you had a longdistance relationship with
family, two small children.
So tell me a little bit aboutthat and how and how that was
and what that, what that meantto you from your growth and your
, your relationship with yourwife as well, and kids.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, man, we'll talk about from the coaching
standpoint.
First, which was awesome to beable to go to Western Tech.
I've never recruited a kid,I've never given a kid an offer
for a scholarship.
I jumped right into a collegejob and I was.
It was just me and coachWilliams.
There was no other assistants.
We didn't have any GAs, wedidn't have anybody.
So I mean I was checking grades,I was doing laundry, I was the
(12:48):
strength coach, I was individualworkouts.
You know I had to do it all,which in some points we all kind
of feel bad for ourselves whenwe're tired and we're doing all
these, all these things.
But like it was the greatestthing to be able to just be
thrown into it.
And I'm not saying that coachWilliams didn't do any of that.
I mean obviously he helped todo things.
But the training films, makingsure the gym was set up, it just
(13:09):
gave me that full programperspective and I think it made
me appreciate I always did.
I've always had tremendousassistance but maybe made me
appreciate I always did I'vealways had tremendous assistance
but maybe made me appreciate myassistant coaches even more so
for the amount of work that theyhad to do.
So it was cool to be able towear all those hats.
You know, 99.9% of the time itwas, but that was great.
(13:30):
And then I always say thatthere's a special place in
heaven for coaches' wives.
Harry Daniel, the guy that gaveme my first basketball job ever
the southwestern randolph highschool, as a jv coach, I
graduated college in december,had a job starting january 1
there and he walked by and hewas he's a retired coach guard
(13:51):
and he's he was about 100 yearsold.
That's what I tell everybody.
At the time he hired me, walkedby and he didn't know my name
so he just called me gus, whichhe still calls me that to this
day.
That's probably the best thinghe's ever called me.
So, Gus, I heard you wanted tocoach.
I said yes, sir.
He said I tell you what westart practice today I'm gonna
work your tail off and I'm notgonna pay you to die.
And I'm like man.
This sounds great, you know.
(14:11):
So he gave me the advice thatwhenever you get married, you
better marry a coach's wife andlike at 23 years old or however
old I was, and I'm like man,what's this old guy talking
about?
And like now I'm like man, likethat was extremely brilliant.
I still talk to him this day.
And so when I left I mean when Iwent up to westview tech to
(14:32):
interview, and I called my wifeon the way home and I'm like all
right, like you know, everybodythinks college coaches make a
ton of money I took a twentythousand dollar pay cut to be an
assistant coach at the collegelevel because I've always wanted
to coach in college.
And, again, teachers don't makea lot of money, so it's not
like I was making a killing andtaking a twenty thousand dollar
(14:54):
pay cut.
I said I'm gonna take a twentythousand dollar pay cut.
We have a three-month-oldlittle girl and a two-year-old
little boy and you don't have ajob and you're going to be five
hours away and I'm going to livein my brother's spare room with
him, his wife and their threekids.
And her response to me wasyou're an idiot if you don't
take it.
This has always been your dreamto coach in college.
(15:16):
You don't do it now, you maynot ever have the opportunity
again.
I'm like man, like I thinkabout all the time, like going
back.
It's like because she droveevery single week and she loaded
those two kids up, drove fivehours up to see me.
I'm thinking I don't know ifroles were reversed, but I've
been able to look at my wife andsay follow your dream, I've got
(15:38):
a three month old and a twoyear old and a full time job and
I've got to juggle this likeshe did, like I don't know many
women that could do what my wifedid.
And I'm not trying to getbrownie points for my wife, I'm
just being honest and I don'tknow many men who would make
that sacrifice for their wives,and for her to tell me to do
that that day was incredible.
(16:00):
It was a tough nine months.
I mean, let's not kid ourselves, it was really, really hard on
her.
I mean, it was me for missingkids, but she had to juggle
everything and so she made someunbelievable sacrifices.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
And for her to be able to put myself and my dream
and my coaching dreams beforeher and our family is something
that.
But to learn in the way you did, I think, no doubt, jacob, both
you and I have married up withregards to having wives that
will continuously be servants tous, and that's a pretty
powerful story in and of itself,and I do hope that Kristen
listens and understands thatrecognition.
(16:51):
So and I think other peoplelisten that we know.
So let me, let me shift gearshere just a little bit.
So one of the things that someof our listeners may recall,
pastor John Sharp was one of theguests on the show back on
episode six.
You can go back and listen tothat one, but he talked about a
story of a coach that he helpedout.
He used to throw his jacketsand maybe say a few things that
he wasn't supposed to and thingslike that, and I was wondering
(17:13):
if coach Bruce would get achance to listen to that and
hear that story, if he knew whothat might be about, cause he
never said a name.
So let me just turn it over toyou.
You got anything you want tosay about that episode and your
buddy.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
John, that bullseye straight on my chest.
I tell everybody I said here's.
A humbling experience for youis when your pastor that you've
known for about two weeks comesup to you and say, hey, man, I
got a great idea.
God's really speaking into me.
I want to be your charactercoach.
And I'm like, amen, yes,because you can't tell your
pastor no one anything,regardless of what they ask you
to do.
(17:44):
I'm like, yeah, tell me whatit's about.
He's like, hey, I just want tocome alongside, I want to be
there to support, I want to makesure that we're, you know,
doing everything the right wayand I'm just there to support.
And then in younger days I havebeen known to break clipboards
or misplace a jacket on thebench.
Those grease boards, those dryerase boards, they're not made
the way they used to be.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah, they're pretty slick.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
And they're slick.
My sport coat sometimes fliesoff.
Even though I haven't taken mysport coat off in two years,
nobody remembers that, they justremember when I throw it.
And so here's the experience isafter the.
After the first couple games, Istarted to get a text after the
game from from pastor john.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
It was a letter grade and I'm like he gives me the
first letter grade like c minusand I'm like man, I thought we
played pretty good tonight.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
It's my response.
Like you know, I thought we didsome good things.
Like I'm not talking about yourteam, I'm talking about you and
how you behaved on thesidelines and were you a good
example, a godly example, foryour team on the sidelines.
Like you talk about a humblingexperience and refocusing your
lenses real quick on, you knowwho you are and who you're
(18:52):
supposed to be, because whenyour pastor sends you a grade
man, that's tough Cause youcan't really argue with.
I mean, let's be honest.
So yeah, that was me, yeah, Ibroke a clipboard, but the best
story I got about John Sharp isfrom this past year.
We were playing central withstock in the state semifinal.
Or two years ago statesemifinal game, parker Hoffman
(19:12):
gets a breakaway, twohanded dunkand a big momentum change.
The best part of that is seeingJohn Sharp jump on the sideline
off of our bench.
And many of your listenersdon't know where Vinton is, but
Vinton's not a big town rightoutside of Roanoke.
I say, man, there's no way youcan get a Vinton phone book
underneath his feet.
He has zero hops.
(19:34):
I mean zero hops.
White man cannot jump, andthat's John.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
I would have loved to have seen that and I'll make
sure pastor John gets a copy ofthis when it comes out as well.
So I do appreciate you sharingthat, as well as the humility
that takes, you know, on theleadership side, to grow to
personally.
You got a long ways to go onthe coaching sideline and not
and I'll mean that from whereyou are.
I just mean just mean you're ayoung guy and you got a lot of
(20:00):
influence left to have withdifferent individuals, with
different people who, when Italk about the greatest story
ever told, I talk about it beingthe individuals who write your
name on their list when they'reasked, hey, who's made a
positive impact on your life?
And I know that your name isgoing to be there.
I want to finish with one morequestion that kind of goes along
(20:21):
with that.
In your book no Place Like Home, you talked about your
definition of success and itsaid for me at least in
basketball, it's how many guyscome back to visit us and see
the program and how they'redoing.
So tell me a little bit aboutthat and success and what that
means to you from therelationship with them and what
that means to you from a legacystandpoint as well.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yeah, I think coaches go through so many stages of
their career Like well, anybodydoes.
I think early on it's like howmany games can I win as a coach?
I've got to be able to provemyself.
How many coach of the yearawards can I get?
How many, you know?
Know, I've got to prove myself,prove myself, prove myself and I
think after time goes on, youreally figure it out, man,
what's really important in lifeand so cool when guys want to
(21:05):
come back like they want to comeback, like I just had a kid,
charlie Argo, who was on ourstate championship team just
graduating last year and he'shelped coach in our middle
school basketball team this yearbecause he wants to see it
better.
Like to me it is.
It's not coach speak is I wantto sound cliche, but like it's
all about.
Like how many guys come backand how many bring back, like
(21:27):
their wives or their girlfriends, or or eventually, when they
bring back their kids that theywant them to see, like where
they were from.
And to me, the people whoinfluence their lives, like
Coach who's my assistant, orcoach McHugh's my assistant now,
or to me that's, that's what'simportant.
You know, this past year we wentto, I think, three former
(21:47):
players weddings, which one?
I feel old going to these dudesweddings.
But I was at just now the lastone we were at and I had seven
seniors, my very first year here, and we went to his way and six
of those seniors of the sevenseniors were there.
They're all of age now.
So we sit down and and had abeer or two and and told some
stories.
As time passes those storiesget embellished and they become
(22:10):
better and better.
Just I told my wife, I said,man, it was so cool just to be
able to sit around with thoseguys and just talk about the
good old days, the glory days ofwhen they play here, and to
hear those guys talk about likeman, I'd give anything to go
back and I'm like I rememberwhen I was yelling at you guys
and telling you guys.
It's like, yeah, coach, wethought you were crazy, but man,
(22:31):
it was some of the best timesbecause those guys are so
tight-knit.
To me it's all about makinggood people and having them be
good citizens, being goodhusbands, being good fathers.
I mean, to me that's successanymore, because in today's
world it's all about how manydid you win a state championship
?
That's the only thing that'ssuccessful.
How many games did you win?
(22:53):
But again, it's not just clicheand coach speak.
We just really want to havesome really good guys and we're
so fortunate to be in theK-Spring community that our guys
are awesome kids.
Knock on wood, they have goodparents.
It takes a village to raisethese kids and we're just a
little small piece of that beingtheir coaches and a lot of
(23:13):
times we get way more out of itthan probably what they do and
help nurture and raise thesekids.
We do a small little part ascoaches.
But man, it's just very, veryrewarding to see those guys come
back.
Man, it's just loving when theycome in.
Man, coach Rolfe myself, coachMack, you know these dudes come
in, give you a big old hug.
It's a pretty cool feeling, man.
(23:34):
It really is.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Well, coach, I appreciate you sharing that as
well and that feeling that goesforward.
I appreciated our conversationtoday.
I can't believe how fast timegoes as we go through it.
But listening and I know when Iget a chance to listen back and
go through this and listen tothemes like servant leadership
and family and tough love as yougo through it and relationship
building and what's reallyimportant and not hearing
necessarily the X's and O's ofwhat basketball are and the most
(24:01):
important things but those twothings ultimately end up going
hand in hand.
You're making a positiveinfluence.
I appreciate what you've done.
I congratulate you on yourstate championship.
I appreciate.
As I pointed the finger behindme there's the one.
I don't know if you can readthat that far, but that was my
1987 team first statechampionship and only state
championship at Brooke highschool and there's a little
(24:21):
trophy of me as a wooden littletrophy of me in 1987.
So I used to play the game aswell and I I I share similar fun
with some of the stories thatyou talk about and again I've
been able to vicariously relivethat by reading your book.
So I hope many others get achance to read that again.
It's called no Place Like Home,and you can find it on Amazon.
But as I finish up, I want togive you kind of the last word
(24:42):
and the way I always finish thepodcast as well, as I'm giving
you a billboard or a big wallbehind, like the one you're
sitting at there and you get totell a million people they're
going to go buy this thing, whatyou want them to hear, what's
your mantra that you want themto hear, and going forward, and
I've given you a little prep toget there.
But what is it?
What's on that sign for you andwhat would you want to tell
everybody?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
To me it's all about just being a good person.
As simple as that sounds.
To me, it's all about being agood person.
Man, life is hard.
Life is hard.
We talk to our kids and my sonwe tried I just got done
coaching this flag football team.
It's just, you know, being agood dude, be a good person,
like look for thoseopportunities.
I coach with two guys in in aauand flag football rich maxi and
(25:24):
kevin conley, and we alwaystalk about looking for those
opportunities to help somebodyelse.
Like to me, life is hard.
My kids in middle school now Iteach in high school.
Life is so difficult now, likeit costs you nothing to be a
good person, like opportunitiesjust to help somebody else.
If you do, if we all do thatman, this world is so crazy.
(25:45):
It would become such a betterplace.
Regardless of what your faithis, what you believe in your
politics doesn't matter.
Just always look for thoseopportunities to help somebody
else.
So if I had a billboard or onmy headstone, if somebody had
one thing to say about me it'sjust be a good person.
And I'll plug one last thing.
I don't know if you saw whenErnie Johnson went in to talk to
(26:06):
Alabama football this yeartalked about being a better
human.
You haven't watched.
It's a six minute video.
On Twitter or any social media,you just put in Ernie Johnson
from TNT and Alabama football.
It's a six minute video.
I showed it.
I teach a leadership class hereat the high school but I show
it to every one of my classes.
It's a pretty powerful thingabout just being a good person,
(26:28):
just looking for opportunitiesto help somebody else, and
that's what I want to beremembering.
Man Coach was this bold, crazydude from West Virginia, but he
was a good person and if I dothat man, I'm a pretty happy
dude.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Coach Cruz, I appreciate you sharing.
Be a good person.
You're exactly right.
The world would be a differentplace.
I'll put a link to yourInstagram profile so folks can
stay in touch with you just tosee what you're up to, and I
will also put a link to thevideo, because I did watch the
Ernie Johnson video that youshared as well, which is pretty
powerful too, because it is youknow.
We learn so much from others.
(27:05):
As we go forward with it.
I've learned from you today.
In the past few years, Iappreciate our relationship that
we have and look forward tostaying in touch with you.
My listeners, I'm sure, benefitfrom it today too.
I appreciate being here, coach.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Man, thank you so much.
I just hope we cue CountryRoads as we're going off.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
There you go, buddy, so that was fun.
I wish you could have seenCoach Bruce during the interview
.
I had him on the Zoom and itwas a lot of fun.
I'm sure you heard some of theintensity and passion that he
exudes and shows on the sidelineas well.
I appreciate how he sharedabout many different things,
including the influence hisfamily has had on who he is
today, the changes he's had togo through as a coach over the
(27:44):
years, his perspective onservant leadership, including
his wife's servanthood, as wellas he's gone through his
development journey To me, thelaw of sacrifice Sometimes you
have to sacrifice to go up and,finally, the simplicity and
power of his mantra to be a goodperson.
I think if we just realizedthat, we definitely would be in
(28:05):
an uncommon place if we wouldjust be a good person more often
.
If you like this episode,please share it, and if you
share it on social media and tagme, you'll be entered into a
drawing for a copy of the book.
Until next time, let's go andgrow champions.
Buckle up for the Uncommon Leader Podcast Just
friends hanging out and breakingdown leadership challenges and
unwrapping techniques that canbe applied to make a difference.
A fun look at what is possibleif we lead in an uncommon way.
An invitation to be thechampion we were created to be,
not your typical leadershippodcast.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Welcome back Uncommon Leader podcast listeners.
My guest today is Jacob Gruss,the high school basketball coach
at K Spring High School inRoanoke, virginia.
The Knights were able to winthe state championship just two
years ago and it was documentedin a book recently by Eddie
Lloyd called there's no PlaceLike Home.
I'll put a link to it in theshow notes.
I was able to consume it inabout two nights.
(00:47):
It's a fun story about how theteam went through a season and
the challenges they faced.
Coach Gruss and I talk aboutthe book and other stories about
people who have influenced hislife and who he is and wants to
be as an uncommon leader.
This was a lot of fun.
If you're sticking around tothe end, learn how you can win a
copy of the book.
Here we go.
All right, coach Gruss.
(01:12):
State championship.
Coach Cave Spring High School.
It's great to have you on theUncommon Leader podcast.
How are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Man, I'm doing fantastic, Just really
appreciate being able toreconnect with you and be on
here.
Man, it's a real honor andprivilege to be on here with you
.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
I know we had a chance a few minutes before we
started here to talk about thatconnecting and how we lived in
the same town, but one of thesedays we'll get you down to
Myrtle Beach and a place for youto stay there as well as you
come down, so I'm lookingforward to that also.
Well, let me jump right in.
I know I asked the samequestion of all of my guests on
the show for my listeners, tellme a little bit, being this a
leadership podcast, tell me alittle bit about a story of your
(01:47):
youth or even early in yourcoaching career that's impacted
you such that still impacts youtoday, and who you are.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
When I immediately think about that, I think about
my mom and dad.
I've told everybody growing upin the great state of West
Virginia and I've got one olderbrother, a lot of my family's
still in West Virginia and I'vegot one older brother, a lot of
my family's still in WestVirginia.
My grandparents, who aredeceased now, lived.
One lived probably four minutesfrom the other.
One lived probably about sixminutes from me.
But when I think aboutleadership and who's impacted me
, you know to me, I immediatelygo to my mom and dad.
(02:15):
So I'm a servant of leadership.
My mom was a stay-at-homemother.
Every person thinks, man,that'd be a great job, and how
hard do they actually work.
My mother's a saint.
She dealt with my dad, mybrother me.
And so she had three kids iswhat I tell everybody and she
was a stay-at-home mother anddid an unbelievable job of
running the household, makingsure that we were at practices
(02:35):
when we were supposed to, makingsure our lunches and our
breakfast were ready, and justbeing the total caretaker for
the three of us.
It's just amazing what she did.
My dad was, you know, just ahardworking man.
But again, like when I thinkabout my dad, like I think about
all the sacrifices he made youknow If you've ever seen that
Facebook meme about dads Iremember my dad wearing a Panama
(02:57):
City Beach, a baseball classict-shirt from like 1993.
And the man still has it today.
I've never known my dad to spenda dime on himself.
He always wanted, we never didwithout, but we weren't spoiled.
Growing up, they taught usabout hard work and my dad
exemplified that every singleday of his life and he just
(03:18):
wanted to make sure that my momwas taken care of and me and my
brother were taken care of.
So to me, I immediately look atmy mom and dad and you know
just the role that they've hadin my life and still do.
And you know my dad every yearI buy him the gear that we buy
our team and he said before heretired he's retired, now that
he would he would see people belike Joe, do you coach?
(03:39):
And he'd be like, no, why, he'slike you've got Dan River
basketball shirts on.
Then you had Averitt Westiatech cave spray said you're
always in in in basketball gearand polos and stuff that we get
him.
So to me, when I think aboutthat man, I just, I just think
about the sacrifice my parentsmade and still do to this day.
They're just incredible people.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
They were just down this past weekend I can't thank
them enough for everythingthey've done for me no, I think
that's that's cool and I can'timagine some of the gear that
he's got, some of the swag thatyou've given him.
You've had an opportunity atmany schools to do that and he
still wears it right over top ofhis Panama Jack t-shirt, which
is probably underneath, just totuck you in underneath.
So that's a good story and Imean I think that's powerful
(04:19):
when you can really talk aboutthe influence of your parents
and what they've had on you andthen, ultimately, how they've
shaped who you are as a parent,having a young son and a young
daughter, as I've met thembefore and as they come up as
well.
So it's something that's reallybig.
Well, hey, thanks for sharingthat and again, I'll probably
reference and I'm going to putthis up even though nobody will
be able to see it just an audio.
(04:49):
But I've read your book no PlaceLike Home that came out, or
Eddie Lloyd wrote it, and quitea story about the state
championship season at K-SpringHigh School that you had
recently, and I am curious, Imean, when I think about that
book, that for me there was,there were power in both the
story of the games that theteams won and the adversity they
came through.
But ultimately for me it wasabout the front end of who Jacob
Gruss is and how he was formedand really at the end about
coaching the right way.
So let's let's start at thebeginning of that book and who
(05:11):
Jacob was.
You mentioned West Virginia acouple of times in the book.
It talks about the, the hollersof West Virginia.
You've coached at a WestVirginia college in terms of an
assistant coach and then been inVirginia at a couple couple
high school coaching stints.
As you've gone through, what isthe story that you remember of
all those teams, or even in oneof your high school teams that
has impacted you and kind ofsomething that sticks with you,
(05:33):
that you were able to tell yourteams and keep them going as
well.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
You know, to me it's again.
Everything for me goes back tofamily.
I'm just so rude in our familyand our family has been such a
pivotal part of my life andagain, my parents are just
unbelievable people.
Is my high school coach, texWilliams, still talk to this day
?
My dad played for him, mybrother played for him and then
(05:57):
I played for him.
So you know he was a tough sonof a gun, still is, to this day,
hard nose when I say old school, old school to me that's the
right way.
Just just really got after kids.
Uh, we call it now.
We call it intense fellowshipin our, in our program when
coaches have to get after eachother, because it's probably not
politically correct to saywe're screaming and yelling at
(06:18):
people.
So we call it intensefellowship time.
Like to me it was.
It's one of those things thatlike growing up and playing
basketball for coach williamswas, you couldn't come home at
the dinner table and be like man.
Coach was too hard on me orcoach was unfair on me unfair to
me because my dad played forhim in the 70s, my brother
played for him in the early 90sand I graduated in high school
(06:39):
in 1997.
I was out of school.
It wasn't like, hey, oh, you'reright, coach is being too tough
.
I was like man shut up.
We had it a whole lot harderthan you did.
So don't come home and whineand complain about, oh, he's
running you too much or you'redoing this Like we promise.
Our stories are way harder thanwhat you have.
So we've had tons of laughsabout things like that.
You know my, the cheerleader atSt Al's High School cheering
(07:02):
for my dad.
So it's all ingrained, man.
They still live in our hometown.
It's all ingrained and you know, I think that's cool to be able
to.
I don't know how many peoplecan actually say that they
played for their coach, thattheir dad played for.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yeah, that's not.
There aren't many that are ableto do that and I find that kind
of fun.
Again, even, as you say, thosecoaches that I had growing up
and I even had a little bit of achance to coach basketball in
the rec league as I went throughand got a chance to coach my
son, and that's challenging, man.
It's not easy to either againbe coached by your dad or be
(07:34):
coached by your dad's coach.
I guess that could be even morechallenging and some of the
things that come along with that.
So I bet those are reallychallenging.
And you mentioned coach Williamsbeing a tough coach.
I like that.
You weren't going to get anysympathy when he came home to
the kitchen table about himbeing too tough.
And again, that probably formeda little bit about who you are
today as well.
And in the spirit of listeningto the listeners of this podcast
(07:58):
talking about continuousleadership development, I know
you're a pretty tough coach too,no doubt about it.
I've had a chance to watch youfrom the stands and some of the
coaching that you have, and Iknow that you are a tough coach
In today's world.
How have you had to adjust?
How have you had to grow as aleader and as a coach, to coach
in that space and still be toughas well.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Yeah, I tell people all the time I'm not the easiest
guy to play for and I'm okaywith that.
Everybody say that the kids havechanged these days.
I totally disagree with that.
I think parents have changed.
I think that parents allow kidsto transfer too much.
I think kids are allowed to beable to escape hard situations
(08:39):
and adversity and I thinkparents just don't allow them to
experience those tough things.
So I have a hard time.
I heard Jason G, who used to bethe head coach at Longwood
University and was the headcoach at the University of
Charleston for a long time inWest Virginia, and I heard him
talk about that.
It really resonated with meLike we got to quit blaming kids
(08:59):
.
Like kids haven't changed.
It's the parents that havechanged.
I don't know if we're becominga softer generation or what,
what that is, but like coachinghas changed dramatically.
I'm probably not the same coachthat I was when I was a damn
river.
Some of those kids have comeand seen me coach and they're
like coach, you got soft in yourown.
It's like man, there's no wayyou'd let me get away with that.
(09:21):
And the kids here are like man,like coaches, really really,
really hard on me.
But I think with that too hascome age and maturity.
Like I was probably way toohard on my kids at Dan river I
think I'll be the first to admitthat and you know, when I left
there and got to be at WestVirginia Tech with Bob Williams,
who's now the PG coach at FortUnion Military Academy, like he
(09:42):
opened up my eyes to a lot ofthings and he was he still is a
tough son of a gun as well andjust really got after kids.
But I got to see it through anassistor role a little bit
better.
When you're sitting, you knowwhat is that?
16 inches over in one seat it'sa lot easier to see a game and
you've never missed a call ormade a bad play call from there.
It just gives you a differentperspective.
I've always not to toot my ownhorn, but I really feel like my
(10:05):
rapport with kids has alwaysbeen one of my strong suits I
probably have in coaching.
I'm probably not the best exesin those guys, but really
forming those relationships hasbeen really, really important.
I got to see how Coach formedthose relationships and how he
did things.
I really got to be able to takea step back and watch that and
I think that has really evolvedme into a coach.
(10:26):
Not many coaches go from beinga head coach and running their
own program to step back and bean assistant.
They usually go from head jobto head job to head job.
And honestly, it was the bestthing that I ever did.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
There's so much to what you just said.
I mean in that you know justover a couple minutes in terms
of going through it.
I mean the fact that I dobelieve I agree with you as well
that kids can be coached tough.
Today, you build a relationshipwith them, you set expectations
and hold them to a high-levelexpectation that that toughness
is not something that needs tobe an aggressive toughness, but
(10:59):
it is when you set the rules inplace and you follow the rules
or there are going to be changes.
So I appreciate that, to hearthat relationship building is so
important to you, with yourplayers as well, and how that
goes so far.
It allows you the opportunityto then lead.
And I think that last point andmaybe not as much even about
the kids, but just aboutleadership in general is the
(11:21):
opportunity to go from a headcoach to step back not
necessarily take a step back,but to step back and then be an
assistant.
You mentioned sit 16 inchesbeside somebody and watch them
do it, and how you can grow aswell.
Having a mentor there, having ateacher there that you can
learn from even more and thencome back in and be that much
better as you come back into thehead coach's chair, is powerful
(11:44):
as well.
So I think those are greatstories and great things for us
to learn from as well.
And you think about some of thethings you learn.
I got to believe you learned atWest Virginia Tech, but the
part of the story is that therewas also a sacrifice you had to
make as well, so you were notjust the assistant coach, but
you wore a lot of hats.
And then, secondly, one of thebigger sacrifices and again,
(12:04):
sacrifices that leaders have tomake today, whether it's in
coaching or in business or inlife is that you also had to
leave family behind, if you will, for a little while in that
story, and how you had a longdistance relationship with
family, two small children.
So tell me a little bit aboutthat and how and how that was
and what that, what that meantto you from your growth and your
, your relationship with yourwife as well, and kids.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, man, we'll talk about from the coaching
standpoint.
First, which was awesome to beable to go to Western Tech.
I've never recruited a kid,I've never given a kid an offer
for a scholarship.
I jumped right into a collegejob and I was.
It was just me and coachWilliams.
There was no other assistants.
We didn't have any GAs, wedidn't have anybody.
So I mean I was checking grades,I was doing laundry, I was the
(12:48):
strength coach, I was individualworkouts.
You know I had to do it all,which in some points we all kind
of feel bad for ourselves whenwe're tired and we're doing all
these, all these things.
But like it was the greatestthing to be able to just be
thrown into it.
And I'm not saying that coachWilliams didn't do any of that.
I mean obviously he helped todo things.
But the training films, makingsure the gym was set up, it just
(13:09):
gave me that full programperspective and I think it made
me appreciate I always did.
I've always had tremendousassistance but maybe made me
appreciate I always did I'vealways had tremendous assistance
but maybe made me appreciate myassistant coaches even more so
for the amount of work that theyhad to do.
So it was cool to be able towear all those hats.
You know, 99.9% of the time itwas, but that was great.
(13:30):
And then I always say thatthere's a special place in
heaven for coaches' wives.
Harry Daniel, the guy that gaveme my first basketball job ever
the southwestern randolph highschool, as a jv coach, I
graduated college in december,had a job starting january 1
there and he walked by and hewas he's a retired coach guard
(13:51):
and he's he was about 100 yearsold.
That's what I tell everybody.
At the time he hired me, walkedby and he didn't know my name
so he just called me gus, whichhe still calls me that to this
day.
That's probably the best thinghe's ever called me.
So, Gus, I heard you wanted tocoach.
I said yes, sir.
He said I tell you what westart practice today I'm gonna
work your tail off and I'm notgonna pay you to die.
And I'm like man.
This sounds great, you know.
(14:11):
So he gave me the advice thatwhenever you get married, you
better marry a coach's wife andlike at 23 years old or however
old I was, and I'm like man,what's this old guy talking
about?
And like now I'm like man, likethat was extremely brilliant.
I still talk to him this day.
And so when I left I mean when Iwent up to westview tech to
(14:32):
interview, and I called my wifeon the way home and I'm like all
right, like you know, everybodythinks college coaches make a
ton of money I took a twentythousand dollar pay cut to be an
assistant coach at the collegelevel because I've always wanted
to coach in college.
And, again, teachers don't makea lot of money, so it's not
like I was making a killing andtaking a twenty thousand dollar
(14:54):
pay cut.
I said I'm gonna take a twentythousand dollar pay cut.
We have a three-month-oldlittle girl and a two-year-old
little boy and you don't have ajob and you're going to be five
hours away and I'm going to livein my brother's spare room with
him, his wife and their threekids.
And her response to me wasyou're an idiot if you don't
take it.
This has always been your dreamto coach in college.
(15:16):
You don't do it now, you maynot ever have the opportunity
again.
I'm like man, like I thinkabout all the time, like going
back.
It's like because she droveevery single week and she loaded
those two kids up, drove fivehours up to see me.
I'm thinking I don't know ifroles were reversed, but I've
been able to look at my wife andsay follow your dream, I've got
(15:38):
a three month old and a twoyear old and a full time job and
I've got to juggle this likeshe did, like I don't know many
women that could do what my wifedid.
And I'm not trying to getbrownie points for my wife, I'm
just being honest and I don'tknow many men who would make
that sacrifice for their wives,and for her to tell me to do
that that day was incredible.
(16:00):
It was a tough nine months.
I mean, let's not kid ourselves, it was really, really hard on
her.
I mean, it was me for missingkids, but she had to juggle
everything and so she made someunbelievable sacrifices.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
And for her to be able to put myself and my dream
and my coaching dreams beforeher and our family is something
that.
But to learn in the way you did, I think, no doubt, jacob, both
you and I have married up withregards to having wives that
will continuously be servants tous, and that's a pretty
powerful story in and of itself,and I do hope that Kristen
listens and understands thatrecognition.
(16:51):
So and I think other peoplelisten that we know.
So let me, let me shift gearshere just a little bit.
So one of the things that someof our listeners may recall,
pastor John Sharp was one of theguests on the show back on
episode six.
You can go back and listen tothat one, but he talked about a
story of a coach that he helpedout.
He used to throw his jacketsand maybe say a few things that
he wasn't supposed to and thingslike that, and I was wondering
(17:13):
if coach Bruce would get achance to listen to that and
hear that story, if he knew whothat might be about, cause he
never said a name.
So let me just turn it over toyou.
You got anything you want tosay about that episode and your
buddy.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
John, that bullseye straight on my chest.
I tell everybody I said here's.
A humbling experience for youis when your pastor that you've
known for about two weeks comesup to you and say, hey, man, I
got a great idea.
God's really speaking into me.
I want to be your charactercoach.
And I'm like, amen, yes,because you can't tell your
pastor no one anything,regardless of what they ask you
to do.
(17:44):
I'm like, yeah, tell me whatit's about.
He's like, hey, I just want tocome alongside, I want to be
there to support, I want to makesure that we're, you know,
doing everything the right wayand I'm just there to support.
And then in younger days I havebeen known to break clipboards
or misplace a jacket on thebench.
Those grease boards, those dryerase boards, they're not made
the way they used to be.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah, they're pretty slick.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
And they're slick.
My sport coat sometimes fliesoff.
Even though I haven't taken mysport coat off in two years,
nobody remembers that, they justremember when I throw it.
And so here's the experience isafter the.
After the first couple games, Istarted to get a text after the
game from from pastor john.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
It was a letter grade and I'm like he gives me the
first letter grade like c minusand I'm like man, I thought we
played pretty good tonight.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
It's my response.
Like you know, I thought we didsome good things.
Like I'm not talking about yourteam, I'm talking about you and
how you behaved on thesidelines and were you a good
example, a godly example, foryour team on the sidelines.
Like you talk about a humblingexperience and refocusing your
lenses real quick on, you knowwho you are and who you're
(18:52):
supposed to be, because whenyour pastor sends you a grade
man, that's tough Cause youcan't really argue with.
I mean, let's be honest.
So yeah, that was me, yeah, Ibroke a clipboard, but the best
story I got about John Sharp isfrom this past year.
We were playing central withstock in the state semifinal.
Or two years ago statesemifinal game, parker Hoffman
(19:12):
gets a breakaway, twohanded dunkand a big momentum change.
The best part of that is seeingJohn Sharp jump on the sideline
off of our bench.
And many of your listenersdon't know where Vinton is, but
Vinton's not a big town rightoutside of Roanoke.
I say, man, there's no way youcan get a Vinton phone book
underneath his feet.
He has zero hops.
(19:34):
I mean zero hops.
White man cannot jump, andthat's John.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
I would have loved to have seen that and I'll make
sure pastor John gets a copy ofthis when it comes out as well.
So I do appreciate you sharingthat, as well as the humility
that takes, you know, on theleadership side, to grow to
personally.
You got a long ways to go onthe coaching sideline and not
and I'll mean that from whereyou are.
I just mean just mean you're ayoung guy and you got a lot of
(20:00):
influence left to have withdifferent individuals, with
different people who, when Italk about the greatest story
ever told, I talk about it beingthe individuals who write your
name on their list when they'reasked, hey, who's made a
positive impact on your life?
And I know that your name isgoing to be there.
I want to finish with one morequestion that kind of goes along
(20:21):
with that.
In your book no Place Like Home, you talked about your
definition of success and itsaid for me at least in
basketball, it's how many guyscome back to visit us and see
the program and how they'redoing.
So tell me a little bit aboutthat and success and what that
means to you from therelationship with them and what
that means to you from a legacystandpoint as well.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yeah, I think coaches go through so many stages of
their career Like well, anybodydoes.
I think early on it's like howmany games can I win as a coach?
I've got to be able to provemyself.
How many coach of the yearawards can I get?
How many, you know?
Know, I've got to prove myself,prove myself, prove myself and I
think after time goes on, youreally figure it out, man,
what's really important in lifeand so cool when guys want to
(21:05):
come back like they want to comeback, like I just had a kid,
charlie Argo, who was on ourstate championship team just
graduating last year and he'shelped coach in our middle
school basketball team this yearbecause he wants to see it
better.
Like to me it is.
It's not coach speak is I wantto sound cliche, but like it's
all about.
Like how many guys come backand how many bring back, like
(21:27):
their wives or their girlfriends, or or eventually, when they
bring back their kids that theywant them to see, like where
they were from.
And to me, the people whoinfluence their lives, like
Coach who's my assistant, orcoach McHugh's my assistant now,
or to me that's, that's what'simportant.
You know, this past year we wentto, I think, three former
(21:47):
players weddings, which one?
I feel old going to these dudesweddings.
But I was at just now the lastone we were at and I had seven
seniors, my very first year here, and we went to his way and six
of those seniors of the sevenseniors were there.
They're all of age now.
So we sit down and and had abeer or two and and told some
stories.
As time passes those storiesget embellished and they become
(22:10):
better and better.
Just I told my wife, I said,man, it was so cool just to be
able to sit around with thoseguys and just talk about the
good old days, the glory days ofwhen they play here, and to
hear those guys talk about likeman, I'd give anything to go
back and I'm like I rememberwhen I was yelling at you guys
and telling you guys.
It's like, yeah, coach, wethought you were crazy, but man,
(22:31):
it was some of the best timesbecause those guys are so
tight-knit.
To me it's all about makinggood people and having them be
good citizens, being goodhusbands, being good fathers.
I mean, to me that's successanymore, because in today's
world it's all about how manydid you win a state championship
?
That's the only thing that'ssuccessful.
How many games did you win?
(22:53):
But again, it's not just clicheand coach speak.
We just really want to havesome really good guys and we're
so fortunate to be in theK-Spring community that our guys
are awesome kids.
Knock on wood, they have goodparents.
It takes a village to raisethese kids and we're just a
little small piece of that beingtheir coaches and a lot of
(23:13):
times we get way more out of itthan probably what they do and
help nurture and raise thesekids.
We do a small little part ascoaches.
But man, it's just very, veryrewarding to see those guys come
back.
Man, it's just loving when theycome in.
Man, coach Rolfe myself, coachMack, you know these dudes come
in, give you a big old hug.
It's a pretty cool feeling, man.
(23:34):
It really is.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Well, coach, I appreciate you sharing that as
well and that feeling that goesforward.
I appreciated our conversationtoday.
I can't believe how fast timegoes as we go through it.
But listening and I know when Iget a chance to listen back and
go through this and listen tothemes like servant leadership
and family and tough love as yougo through it and relationship
building and what's reallyimportant and not hearing
necessarily the X's and O's ofwhat basketball are and the most
(24:01):
important things but those twothings ultimately end up going
hand in hand.
You're making a positiveinfluence.
I appreciate what you've done.
I congratulate you on yourstate championship.
I appreciate.
As I pointed the finger behindme there's the one.
I don't know if you can readthat that far, but that was my
1987 team first statechampionship and only state
championship at Brooke highschool and there's a little
(24:21):
trophy of me as a wooden littletrophy of me in 1987.
So I used to play the game aswell and I I I share similar fun
with some of the stories thatyou talk about and again I've
been able to vicariously relivethat by reading your book.
So I hope many others get achance to read that again.
It's called no Place Like Home,and you can find it on Amazon.
But as I finish up, I want togive you kind of the last word
(24:42):
and the way I always finish thepodcast as well, as I'm giving
you a billboard or a big wallbehind, like the one you're
sitting at there and you get totell a million people they're
going to go buy this thing, whatyou want them to hear, what's
your mantra that you want themto hear, and going forward, and
I've given you a little prep toget there.
But what is it?
What's on that sign for you andwhat would you want to tell
everybody?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
To me it's all about just being a good person.
As simple as that sounds.
To me, it's all about being agood person.
Man, life is hard.
Life is hard.
We talk to our kids and my sonwe tried I just got done
coaching this flag football team.
It's just, you know, being agood dude, be a good person,
like look for thoseopportunities.
I coach with two guys in in aauand flag football rich maxi and
(25:24):
kevin conley, and we alwaystalk about looking for those
opportunities to help somebodyelse.
Like to me, life is hard.
My kids in middle school now Iteach in high school.
Life is so difficult now, likeit costs you nothing to be a
good person, like opportunitiesjust to help somebody else.
If you do, if we all do thatman, this world is so crazy.
(25:45):
It would become such a betterplace.
Regardless of what your faithis, what you believe in your
politics doesn't matter.
Just always look for thoseopportunities to help somebody
else.
So if I had a billboard or onmy headstone, if somebody had
one thing to say about me it'sjust be a good person.
And I'll plug one last thing.
I don't know if you saw whenErnie Johnson went in to talk to
(26:06):
Alabama football this yeartalked about being a better
human.
You haven't watched.
It's a six minute video.
On Twitter or any social media,you just put in Ernie Johnson
from TNT and Alabama football.
It's a six minute video.
I showed it.
I teach a leadership class hereat the high school but I show
it to every one of my classes.
It's a pretty powerful thingabout just being a good person,
(26:28):
just looking for opportunitiesto help somebody else, and
that's what I want to beremembering.
Man Coach was this bold, crazydude from West Virginia, but he
was a good person and if I dothat man, I'm a pretty happy
dude.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Coach Cruz, I appreciate you sharing.
Be a good person.
You're exactly right.
The world would be a differentplace.
I'll put a link to yourInstagram profile so folks can
stay in touch with you just tosee what you're up to, and I
will also put a link to thevideo, because I did watch the
Ernie Johnson video that youshared as well, which is pretty
powerful too, because it is youknow.
We learn so much from others.
(27:05):
As we go forward with it.
I've learned from you today.
In the past few years, Iappreciate our relationship that
we have and look forward tostaying in touch with you.
My listeners, I'm sure, benefitfrom it today too.
I appreciate being here, coach.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Man, thank you so much.
I just hope we cue CountryRoads as we're going off.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
There you go, buddy, so that was fun.
I wish you could have seenCoach Bruce during the interview
.
I had him on the Zoom and itwas a lot of fun.
I'm sure you heard some of theintensity and passion that he
exudes and shows on the sidelineas well.
I appreciate how he sharedabout many different things,
including the influence hisfamily has had on who he is
today, the changes he's had togo through as a coach over the
(27:44):
years, his perspective onservant leadership, including
his wife's servanthood, as wellas he's gone through his
development journey To me, thelaw of sacrifice Sometimes you
have to sacrifice to go up and,finally, the simplicity and
power of his mantra to be a goodperson.
I think if we just realizedthat, we definitely would be in
(28:05):
an uncommon place if we wouldjust be a good person more often
.
If you like this episode,please share it, and if you
share it on social media and tagme, you'll be entered into a
drawing for a copy of the book.
Until next time, let's go andgrow champions.
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