February 4, 2025 • 33 mins
What if the story you've been telling yourself is holding you back? Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Lior Arussy, a dynamic author and speaker, as he shares how rewriting the narrative of your life can unlock doors you never imagined. Lior takes us through his personal journey, from being underestimated by his teachers to becoming an influential author. He provides insights on transforming past struggles into stepping stones for growth and highlights the pivotal switch from a problem-solving mindset to one that seeks out opportunities. Discover how embracing your own story can empower you to overcome self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
Ever wondered how vulnerability can be your greatest ally? Lior discusses his shift from business-centric writing to the more personal and vulnerable realm of sharing his own stories. He unpacks the barriers of self-doubt and the fear of being perceived as a fraud, showing how confronting these challenges can lead to personal and professional breakthroughs. This episode is an invitation to shift your perspective, to see beyond current problems and focus on the potential for future opportunities. We explore the power of internalizing positive feedback and using it to fuel resilience and strength, moving beyond a victim mentality to one of victory.
Gratitude is more than just a buzzword—it's a tool for transformation. Lior shares practical strategies to internalize positive feedback, such as maintaining a "thank you" folder filled with uplifting comments and emails. These reminders serve as a beacon of strength during difficult times. We explore the concept of personal superpowers, those unique gifts that can lead to positive impacts on others. Lior encourages us to focus on serving others, suggesting a path to happiness through a selfless approach. With his empowering mantra, "Living a life of victory over victimhood is a choice," Lior leaves us inspired to take charge of our narratives and rise to our best selves.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm looking for?
What is the skill that can helpme move forward?
What is the things I'm doingvery well?
What are the things that canhelp me face the new unknown,
but not from a position ofvictimhood, but from a position
of I'm ready, I've got tools,I've done things in my life, I'm
not empty-handed, I can handleit.
That's really the essence ofauthoring your life story is not
(00:22):
drawing, it's converting lifeexperiences to future toolkit.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hey, uncommon Leaders , welcome back.
This is the Uncommon Leaderpodcast.
I'm your host, john Gallagher.
Today I'm pleased to bring youa conversation I had recently
that will deeply inspire you totake charge of your personal and
professional narrative.
My guest for the episode isLior Arusi, an accomplished
author, speaker and businessconsultant who's worked with
top-notch organizations likeDelta, walmart, fedex and
(00:53):
Johnson Johnson, just to name afew of them.
He recently released his 10thbook, dare to Author, which
focuses on the idea of authoringyour own life story.
So throughout the episode, weexplore concepts such as
overcoming the imposter syndrome, shifting from a mindset of
merely fixing problems to one ofcreating opportunities, and the
essential practice of receivingand internalizing positive
(01:15):
feedback.
So get ready to be inspired andto start authoring the story
you want to live.
Let's get started.
You want to live let's getstarted.
Lior Abusi, welcome to theUncommon Leader podcast.
Great to have you on the show.
How are you doing today?
Doing well.
Thank you very much for havingme on the show.
(01:36):
You're welcome and I am lookingforward to the conversation and
I know that the listeners aregoing to find tremendous value.
We are here today really to talkabout your newest book that's
come out.
Become the Author and we'll getinto that here real soon.
But I got to tell you.
I mean folks have got to beexcited right off the bat.
I mean you've got 10 differentbooks that you've authored.
(02:00):
You have spoken fororganizations including Delta,
walmart, fedex, johnson, johnsonPizza Hut that's just to name a
few.
Pizza Hut's one of my favoriteplaces, by the way just pizza.
You've had articles that havebeen published in the Harvard
Business Review and ChiefExecutive and Fast Company
magazines Phenomenal brand thatyou've built and I look forward
(02:21):
to hearing many of those stories.
But you're not just a businessguru.
I mean, in your latest book youtalk about how to write your
story and that's really one ofmy first questions that I ask my
first-time guests is to tell mea story from your childhood
that still impacts who you aretoday, as a person or as a
leader.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
The story is actually pretty painful and I think we
are all going through a processof elimination, if you may, or
processing or converting thatinto a positive.
But you know, I went to anelementary school in which our
teachers didn't believe that wedeserved to even go to high
school.
You know, they pretty much toldus to go and either get to an
(03:05):
occupational school or get somejob, but they just didn't
believe in us.
We lived in a certainneighborhood that was not
exactly great.
Many of our parents were notexactly you know, definitely not
college educated.
Many of them were cleaningfloors in the local stores or in
the local you know other places.
So you lived in an environmentin which you went to school but
(03:28):
the attitude was there's notmuch there for you.
You know, the sky is not thelimit.
You know the limit is what yousee around you and that left a
lot of.
You know, I remember at onetime I was, I developed a
crosswords puzzle and my teacherkind of like you copied it from
(03:48):
somewhere.
You can't be that smart and I'mlike, no, I developed it, I sat
down and I created thedefinition and made sure that
everything and they were justlike they dismissed us
completely, and that was not aone-day experience.
It was several years of goingthrough this and they thought,
by the way, that they were doinga good thing for us, because
(04:10):
they were like we're just tryingto keep you very realistic so
you don't get disappointed inlife and you don't dare to do
things that you cannot do, andthen you'll fail.
And they thought they weredoing good by us.
And that story is still with me.
I have no interest in goingback to that school to prove
(04:32):
them wrong, but every daythere's a little child in me
that's like, hey, teacher, youknow I'm not where you thought I
would be.
I am far, far away from thatplace.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I think that's a great story.
You touched on it right off thebat.
That can be a painful story,but when we can turn some of
that pain into our purpose, thatcan be pretty powerful.
One of the gentlemen that Ifollow talks about this, and
folks that have listened to thispodcast probably hear me say
this too often.
But you tend to be mostpowerfully positioned or ready
(05:02):
to help the person that you usedto be Okay, and those stories
help to define us and thosestories, as we turn our pain
into purpose, help those otherchildren that are in those
places right now.
Uh, that can, that can overcomethose things and be successful
and be more fulfilled and bemore happy in the place that
they work.
So thank you for sharing that.
I know those painful storiesare not easy ones to share, but
(05:25):
when you can hear aboutovercoming them, that's pretty
powerful and, frankly, I get.
If you wanted to go back andtalk to that teacher again about
that crossword puzzle, I've gota few of those little stories
myself.
With regards to stories withteachers who told those things
and just you know whether it wasintentional or not can
absolutely be damaging to thegrowth of someone, as they, you
(05:48):
know, are very young and can beinfluenced, so thank you for
sharing that With pleasure and Ihave to tell you I haven't
spoken about this for years.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
It's just with the book with Dare to Author that I
started to kind of engage inthose.
But I have to tell you, Idebated if to go back to that
teacher and I decided not tobecause I didn't want to give
him agency.
I didn't want to give themagency that they actually are
responsible for my success orfor my journey in life.
I mean, the scar that they leftis just that and I'm the one
who converted that lifeexperience into future
(06:19):
resilience, not them.
So by going and settling scoreswith them, it's like giving
them agency over my life, andDare to Author is all about not
allowing those people to getagency over our life.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Well, let's jump right into that, because your
book Dare to Author, talks aboutthat.
I went back and looked at someof it Again.
This is your 10-time author andmost of the books that you've
written have been on customerservice and or excellence or
business transformation andthings like that, and this one
gets more personal, I can tellwith that.
So where did the idea for Dareto Author come from and who did
(06:55):
you write it for?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
So this is another phenomenal story.
I was preparing to make apresentation at one of my
clients.
30 days before the presentationI was supposed to review the
slides at one of my clients 30days before the presentation.
I was supposed to review theslides with the CEO and I know
him.
I've known him for years and hegoes on the call.
And instead of letting mereview the slides, he said to me
Lior, we're going to change thetopic.
(07:17):
You're going to talk about yournext book.
And I'm like Ben, there is nonext book.
And he's like there is, thereis Lior, there is, it's there.
I want you to come in and talkabout your next book.
And half-jokingly, I threatenedhim.
I said Ben, I have 30 days.
I don't have time to create anew book for you.
I'm going to bring Winnie thePooh and I'm going to read and
(07:42):
read Winnie the Pooh.
I'm sure I'm going to learnsomething from it.
And he told me I'm counting onyou, you're going to come up
with something.
And at that time I justpublished an article at Chief
Executive Magazine.
It was not a book, it was justan article with a nucleus of a
question of who is authoringyour life story and the origin
of that was I've been in thebusiness transformation for
(08:04):
three decades.
I'm not just a speaker.
Most of the work that I do isactually doing it.
I'm there with the employees, Isee their struggles and
everything else, and I alwaysfind that the real obstacle is
the story.
They're stuck in an old storyand they don't know how to move,
close the chapter and move tothe next chapter.
So in many ways, whenever theyface change, they become victim,
(08:29):
they respond with victimhood,they become very passive and
they cannot really emerge fromthat victimhood into the next
chapter that they need to do.
So it was from a lot of thoselearnings that I said maybe it's
time to go to the root cause ofthem all, which is we don't
know, as human beings, how toauthor our story and, as a
(08:49):
result of it, we let externalfactors beliefs, fears, biases,
other people's statements toreally author our story, and
that story is not a story we areproud of.
So you know, in many ways itcame from decades of working
through transformations andthrough employees struggling,
through converting lifeexperiences into future stories.
(09:12):
And then I layered on top of itthe personal part, because
ultimately what I learned is,when I open myself up, they can
open themselves up as well.
If you want to lead someone,learn how to lead with your
stories.
Don't come with invincibleleadership story because nobody
can connect to that anymore.
If you're so invincible, thenwhy should I follow you?
And I allowed myself for thepurpose of connecting with
(09:34):
people and giving thempermission to open those topics,
to touch those scars.
I mean, I just had, just acouple of hours ago, somebody
called me.
He just read the book from backto back, sent me a picture with
all the notes that he made andsaid I'm going to be reading it
again and again and againbecause you allowed me to touch
(09:54):
places in my heart that I didnot believe I will ever touch it
and it's because youexperienced it I'm willing to
touch them and I'm feeling moresafe, and so on and so forth.
So I wrote it for everyone whowants to lead life with victory
over victimhood, who wants toconvert their scars into stars
(10:15):
and embrace the future, becausewhenever we are victims, we are
giving agency to others and weshould not, and we're not future
ready and we're not able todeal with the future the way it
should be.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Love that.
We'll talk about a couple ofconcepts in the book here pretty
soon that are in that when youfinished so you started this
book at the urging of a CEO whosaid basically, write your next
book.
He wasn't telling you to writeyour story, but this came out of
that when you were finishedwith it, what was going through
your mind when you finished it?
(10:48):
What was there for you in termsof writing a book like this?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
First, it was a big journey because during the
writing of the book I lostseveral people that are very
important to me.
So that was painful there and Ineeded to learn how to convert
those emotions.
It was written in differentparts of the world.
I mean, a portion of it waswritten in Paris, a portion of
it was written in New Jersey, aportion of it was written in
Dubai.
I was traveling, I was doingwork and, as a result so there
(11:14):
are a lot of factors that camein and I have to tell you it was
a journey for me as well.
I wasn't sure if the book iseven worth publishing.
I wasn't sure because it's thefirst time that I'm opening with
my own stories.
I didn't know that my storieswere worth it.
My previous books were allabout business examples,
business case studies,measurable successes, case
studies from here until the endof the book, and this was very
(11:39):
personal.
In fact, I sent it to severalof my friends and said do you
think it's worth it?
Is it even worth doing it?
And their responses were justso personal that I said okay,
lior, it's a different book, butlet's jump in.
And that's what I did.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Lior, I love that.
I think there's something again, something there.
Maybe in the next one, Maybewe'll talk about the 11th book
that you're going to come outwith.
You touched on this.
You said that folks are not incontrol of their own life's
narrative, or they may thinkthey're not in control of their
own life's narrative.
What are some of the thingsthat they have to overcome to be
(12:18):
able to write that story in aneffective way?
What are some of the barriersthey have to overcome?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
So I'm going to go into two or three classic
examples.
Okay, let's start with theimposter syndrome.
I tell a personal story aboutthe imposter syndrome where I
was about to meet the CEO ofNokia at that time the largest
cell phone manufacturer in theworld and I froze.
I was like what do I have tosay to this guy?
(12:43):
He's controlling 43% of themarket share of cell phones.
At the time there was no iPhone.
At the time we were all usingNokia.
And the imposter syndrome isbasically your deepest fear of
being caught up as a fake takingover and coloring all your
successes and telling you thatall your successes are fake and
(13:04):
you don't believe your own, yourown capabilities.
That's an example of if youdon't overcome the imposter
syndrome.
It's defining your success.
It's defining your choices ifto apply to the next job, if to
apply for a promotion or to doanything.
It it's not just the fear, itdefines your next steps.
Another one which I talk aboutin the book, which is one of my
(13:27):
favorites, is good news, badnews.
What do you like first?
And everybody's saying bad newsfirst.
And I'm exposing the fact thatwhen you are looking for bad
news first, you're looking tofix the present, you're not
looking at opportunities in thefuture.
The same situation can eitherpresent to you a fixing
opportunity or leveraging andcreating opportunity.
And from there I extrapolatethe conversation Are you a fixer
(13:51):
or are you a creator?
Are you looking for the past orare you looking for the future?
And I have to tell you, a lotof people kind of argued with me
that specific area, includingmy own wife, by the way and I
insist that if you're bad newsfirst, you're a fixer and you're
all about reinforcing thecurrent and you're not future
ready, and you need to startlooking and asking for the good
(14:12):
news first, because you'rewearing the mindset of
opportunity, not the mindset ofthe world is broken.
I need to be the firefighter tofix it.
And the last one, which I thinkwe all need to re-examine our
position, is what I call thegratitude denial syndrome.
We've all been there.
You get feedback it's all goodstuff and you start getting
(14:32):
anxious what's wrong?
Why are they telling me thesegood things?
We're downplaying the goodthings and we're like OK, tell
me what's wrong.
It's like, whoa, stop.
Why do you think the good news?
Why do you think, think thegratitude is fake?
Why do you amplify and givemore weight to the feedback that
is negative over the one thatis positive, and my argument is
(14:56):
that when we don't listen to thepositive feedback, we don't
recharge our capabilities.
We all have good things and badthings within us, but by not
listening, by denying thegratitude, by asking for okay,
tell me what's wrong again,we're not refueling, we're not
generating energy that can helpus face the next challenges from
a position of strength, notfrom a position of victimhood.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Hey listeners, I want to take a quick moment to share
something special with you.
Many of the topics anddiscussions we have on this
podcast are areas where Iprovide coaching and consulting
services for individuals andorganizations.
If you've been inspired by ourconversation and are seeking a
catalyst for change in your ownlife or within your team, I
invite you to visitcoachjohngallaghercom forward
(15:41):
slash free call to sign up for afree coaching call with me.
It's an opportunity for us toconnect, discuss your unique
challenges and explore howcoaching or consulting can
benefit you and your team.
Okay, let's get back to theshow.
Lior, I love that.
Two of those last two,especially as you touched on
(16:02):
them.
Why do we struggle so much toreceive compliments?
I make up a little bit aboutthat that some folks like to put
a facade up, that it's in theposition of humility, that they
don't want to lift themselves upwhen they hear that, but the
fact is it absolutely dishonorsthe person that's giving that
(16:22):
feedback as well and not havingan attitude of gratitude to
receiving that feedback, andthey start to walk away from
that.
So I do think I don't know whywe tend to be a society of not
accepting compliments.
(16:43):
Somebody tells us that ourhouse is nice and we're like,
yeah, yeah, I got to do a lot ofwork to it, though I mean
there's, there's things that wejust don't accept.
In that, in that spirit ofgratitude, I think it's really
powerful that you talk about andwe'll get.
I'm coming back.
The other one was like youpointed the finger in the book
as I read through it, and I'mglad you brought it up.
I had as a question this areyou a good news first person or
(17:04):
a bad news first person?
There's no doubt I'm a fixer.
I had been.
The question is do you want thegood news or you want the bad
news?
Well, give me the bad newsfirst, because I can fix it.
Even that part, I can take itas the bad news first, and then
I'll feel better when I get thegood news at the end.
But you're absolutely right interms of that bad news puts you
(17:24):
in the present tense of what'shappening, and that good news
really gives you opportunity tolook forward in the future.
So back to that.
Compliments, though, and notaccepting compliments Again.
What's a discipline that we canuse to recognize when we're not
using gratitude to acceptcompliments?
(17:45):
How do we overcome that?
Speaker 1 (17:47):
So first, if I may build up on what you said before
, which is we're kind of likesaying, oh, we don't want to be
arrogant.
Listening to gratitude isdifferent than bragging about
gratitude.
So let's again, let's clarifywhat we're talking about.
I want you to accept it, I wantyou to listen to it, I want you
to be able to reference it foryourself.
(18:08):
I didn't ask you to go and puta poster out there that brags
about.
These are two different things.
And another analogy is, with allthe humility, your car needs
fuel, otherwise it can't moveforward.
We need that feedback in orderto move forward.
So that's the first thing.
Now let's talk about thediscipline.
I'm going to share with yousomething that I do.
I get a nice comment fromsomeone, I get a nice email.
(18:30):
I have a special file calledthank yous.
In my worst moments, when I'mfeeling down and we all have
them, ups and downs and so on soI'm going back there just to
remind myself the places and thetimes where I did good, where I
impacted other people, and I goback and said, okay, what have
(18:51):
you done there?
Can you activate that skill?
Can you activate?
The purpose of listening togratitude is not just in order
to feel good.
It's also in order to hone yourskills and understand what is
your superpower.
So when I go to those positivefeedback, I'm looking for what
is the skill that can help memove forward, what is the things
I'm doing very well, what arethe things that can help me face
(19:14):
the new unknown, but not from aposition of victimhood, but
from a position of I'm ready,I've got tools, I've done things
in my life.
I'm not empty-handed, I canhandle it.
That's really the essence ofauthoring your life story is not
journaling, it's convertinglife experiences to future
toolkits.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
So good, so good.
Lior, thank you so much forthat.
I mean absolutely, and I lovethe idea of the thank you folder
, whether it's via emails oreven note cards that you receive
.
I mean, if we, as the giver ofthose note cards, truly
understood the value in thereceiving of a handwritten note
card and where it ends up in adrawer somewhere, that has an
(19:54):
impact on somebody.
And, frankly, that even leadsme into, kind of one of the
other points that you talk about.
With regards to a good storyrequires three things it
requires a hero, it requires avictim and a villain.
And then you have a plus whereyou add in and it says and it
requires a moment, which I love,that it reminds me of popular
(20:18):
movies.
They got to have the momentright when the victim needs the
hero, or whatever that is.
So tell me about that in termsof developing your story and how
we become more effective inthat model, if you will, that
framework.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
So, with your permission, I use in the book
one example that I think is souniversal that it's worth
repeating, and that is COVID.
At COVID, we all started asvictims.
None of our institutions knewwhat to do with it.
The health system, the academia, the government, the UN nobody
knew.
We all started as victims, andmy challenge to the readers,
(20:58):
through the prompts that Iprovide, the questions and the
prompts in the book is let'swrite that chapter in which you
emerged from a victim to avictor and we go step by step.
What happened?
How did you feel?
And then, all of a sudden,restrictions you have to stay
home.
What have you done?
What things that you used to doyou no longer can do.
(21:19):
And you learn to survive that.
And then there was that momentwhere you move from survival to
I can do that, I can dosomething with that.
Now I have more time at home,maybe I can spend it with family
, maybe I will do a project athome, and all of a sudden we
discover, through a verypersonal strength, what our true
values are, what our truecapabilities are, and we emerge
(21:43):
victorious.
We all have that moment whereour values are being tested,
where victimhood seemed to bethe default but we refuse to do
it and it takes a choice to sayit's very easy to say I'm a
victim, say it's very easy tosay I'm a victim.
But when you discover thatpower and you convert yourself
into a vector of the situation,that's when you discover the
(22:04):
next layer of yourself, the nextcapabilities of yourself, and
so on and so forth.
So that is the moment wheresomething in us is seeing
capabilities that we have notleveraged in a moment of threat
or in a moment of distress, orin a moment of difficulty.
And that's of distress or in amoment of difficulty.
And that's when we convert them.
So, if I may give you an example, a lot of clients called me
(22:25):
during COVID and they said Lior,it's a disaster, it's darkness,
we don't know what to do.
And I said what is the firstword that comes to mind?
And they all said darkness,helplessness.
And they use the wordunprecedented and I said that's
great, that's correct.
Factually, you're right.
But you know what alsounprecedented means?
It also means I'm helpless andI have no tools, so we cannot
(22:46):
get out of there.
First question I asked them whatdo you want to do, survive or
thrive?
And they look at me it's likethrive.
I mean, we're trying to survive.
I said no, no guys, here arethe good news.
You had a strategy.
Then you got a punch in theface and you're on the floor.
Good news is, your competitionare also Now.
The question is not who's onthe floor, because you're all on
the floor.
The question is who's going toget up and for what purpose.
(23:09):
If you're going to try tosurvive, you may survive.
If you're going to try tothrive, you may actually get to
a much better place than whereyou are.
And he said we still don't knowhow to do it, we don't have the
tools.
And I said great, let's thinkabout the last time you felt
unprecedented event.
You know helplessness, and formany of the business people, it
was 2008, 2009,.
You know the financial crisis.
(23:31):
And I said so you were heretoday, so you survived it right,
and maybe even more than that.
Let's go back to that chapterand let's analyze it the same
way.
You were a victim.
What was the moment?
What values, what emotions, howdid you emerge?
What was your superpower?
The same set of questions thatI provide in the book.
And by the end of that maybe anhour to 90 minutes conversation
(23:53):
, we had a chapter written fromA to Z like a case study, and
the end of it was not wesurvived.
The end of it was these are thethings we are good at.
These are the values that helpus survive.
This is the superpower.
Now, all of a sudden, they lookat COVID and they said I'm not
helpless, I've done things in mylife.
(24:14):
I'm not a victim, I have tools.
I live through unprecedentedevents, and that's really the
essence of the book.
The book is not about to makeyou feel good.
It's about it's making theargument that when you do not
author your own life story, youare helpless every time that
there is an unprecedented event.
But if you are being proactiveabout authoring your life story,
(24:38):
you will convert those lifeexperiences into future toolkit,
toolbox and resilience andfuture readiness.
You'll enjoy the future better.
You'll enjoy change morebecause you're not coming to it
frightened and victim, as youused to before.
Those experiences are convertedinto future energy.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Well, leroy, you do such a great job explaining that
.
I think that if folks realizethat and you used the word a
couple times in interviews sofar superpower If folks can
learn how to find theirsuperpower or recognize it, what
they have, and be able toovercome some of those things,
how do you determine what yoursuperpower is?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
So let me start with my belief.
I believe that we are here fora purpose in life and we each
have a unique purpose, and weare also being placed exactly
where we are needed, where theworld needs something from us,
and we're the only one that canprovide it.
That's why we are different.
We are unique.
We have our own fingerprintsthat are very, very unique.
Through the gratitude, throughthe analysis of previous
(25:44):
experiences, you will eventuallysee what makes you special.
Some people, for example, usehumor.
Humor is their superpower.
They'll diffuse the hardest,difficult situation with humor.
They'll make other people laughwhen no one else can laugh.
That's their superpower, andhumor is their unique way of
doing that.
Other people are analytics.
(26:07):
In times of distress, they cankeep their head cool and they
can think through whatever.
Others are compassionate.
Their superpower is compassion.
They can see any person, see ontheir face a certain type of
distress and they can give themthe best hugs.
They're the biggest huggers outthere and that's their
(26:27):
superpower.
Other people know how to singand they inspire the world with
their singing and their words.
So we each have a gift that weneed to uncover.
How are you going to uncover it?
You need to open it.
How do you open it?
Through life experiences.
But if you're not going toanalyze your life experiences,
you're keeping those skillshidden.
So that's our process ofunpacking that superpower,
(26:51):
testing it in real life andrefining it for the future.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Love that it's so simple, right?
I mean that purposeful act ofreflection to understand how we
overcame some of those thingsand identifying what that
through line is in each of thosescenarios can be really
powerful.
Let me run something by here,another one of your chapters.
So I would say that if someonewere asked a question of an
(27:18):
individual who's had a positiveimpact on their life and they
wrote your name, my name, yourname, down on that list, that
that's one of the greateststories ever told in terms of
how those stories are, becauseyou must be intentional with
that person to make that happen.
You must be very relationalwith that person.
You must have had, again, animpact on their life, whether
(27:39):
it's in their faith, theirfinances, in their work or the
relationships that they have.
You have chapters that who isyour hero and can you become one
.
Is that kind of lined up withthat in terms of can you become
a hero, how do you become a hero?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
So in the book I talk about the center of gravity.
There can be two centers ofgravity for each and every one
of us either ourselves or others.
I cite certain studies thatdemonstrate that people who are
placing the center of gravity inothers, in the impact that they
create on others, are actuallyhappier, healthier, live longer,
(28:18):
because they tap into the partof themselves that can give, as
opposed to the part ofthemselves that constantly feel
need and emptiness anddeficiency, and so on and so
forth.
Heroes don't call themselvesheroes.
They don't wake up and say, oh,today I'm a hero, let me put
the cape on, and so on and soforth.
(28:38):
It doesn't happen that way.
Heroes react instinctively tothe needs of others because
their center of gravity isothers and the impact that they
can give on other people, asopposed to non-heroes who are
(29:04):
acting in their ownself-interest and don't see
anybody else.
And there will never be a hero,because the act of heroism, the
courage to overcome fear, isusually in service of others and
a greater purpose than justthemselves.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Love that so cool.
Thank you for sharing that,lior.
I want to run the book test byyou.
Folks are going to read yourbook.
They're going to set it up on abookshelf and, just like the
one behind me, and they're goingto see the backing of the book
or however it is.
It's been there sitting on thebookshelf for a year.
What do you want them to thinkwhen they look back at that
binding and see your book thatthey read a year ago?
What do you want them to think?
(29:31):
What do you want them to havethought or want them to have
done in a year since they readthe book?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
I want them to associate the book with two
elements inspiration and courage.
And I want them, when they feeldown, to open the book and read
one chapter.
It can be the chapter aboutcynicism.
It can be the chapter aboutleading other people.
It can be the chapter that isabsolutely telling them at the
end we have no guarantees thatlife is going to be great, but
(30:00):
you still have a unique storythat only you can tell.
I want them to know that,despite all the challenges in
this book, they will be remindedthat there are unique
individuals with a story thatthe world needs and they need to
tell.
But it's a choice to make tostop the victimhood, to stop the
blaming and start taking chargeof the narrative.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Leo Arusi.
I have enjoyed thisconversation tremendously.
How do folks learn more aboutyou and or where do you want
them to get your book?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
So the book is available on Amazon or other
book channels Barnes, nobleBooks, a Million, and so on and
so forth.
Other book channels Bonds andNobles Books, a Million, and so
on and so forth.
More about my work, and I posta lot of my articles free of
charge liorarussicom,l-i-o-r-a-r-u-s-s-ycom.
You'll see some of my videosthere, some of my articles.
Please share, please use them,please challenge yourself when
(30:55):
you read them.
My style is the same as you seein the book.
I'm firm but loving, but firmAt the end of the day.
It's about moving up.
It's about rising up to thebetter version of ourselves.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Lior, I'll be sure to put those links in the show
notes so that folks can sharethat, and I will encourage them
to do so.
Lior, again I appreciate youproviding us the time.
I'm going to give you the lastword here with the question that
I always finish off with.
I'm going to give you abillboard.
You can put it anywhere youwant to.
What's the story you put onthat billboard and why do you
(31:29):
put that story on there?
Speaker 1 (31:33):
The story will be a slogan, if you may.
That says will be a slogan, ifyou may.
That says leading life ofvictory over victimhood it's a
choice.
That's my statement Living lifeof victory over victimhood it's
a choice.
And the reason why I put itthere is because I want to
(31:57):
remind people that, no matterhow life is challenging, no
matter how life is unplanned, wealways have a choice, and the
choice is to lead it and torefuse to be a victim.
The default is victim, and welive in a society when it's very
easy to feel entitled to blameother people.
But you know what, when youblame other people, you don't
move forward, you just get stuckand at the end of the day, all
(32:19):
you've got is a whole bunch ofexcuses but no real achievements
.
And when you look at the mirror, the question you ask yourself
is are you proud of that?
And I want you to be proud ofthat person you see out there.
The only way you will be iswhen you'll decide to live life
with victory over victimhood andmake the choice and this is not
a one-time choice, it's aneveryday choice.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Amen, inspiration and courage.
You have provided that to ustoday, lior I appreciate you
sharing with the listeners ofthe Uncommon Leader podcast, and
I wish you the best goingforward.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Thank you very much, John, for having me on the show.
It was wonderful.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
And that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon
Leader Podcast.
Thanks for tuning in today.
If you found value in thisepisode, I encourage you to
share it with your friends,colleagues or anyone else who
could benefit from the insightsand inspiration we've shared.
Also, if you have a moment, I'dgreatly appreciate if you could
leave a rating and review onyour favorite podcast platform.
Your feedback not only helps usto improve, but it also helps
(33:18):
others discover the podcast andjoin our growing community of
uncommon leaders.
Until next time, go and growchampions.
I'm looking for?
What is the skill that can helpme move forward?
What is the things I'm doingvery well?
What are the things that canhelp me face the new unknown,
but not from a position ofvictimhood, but from a position
of I'm ready, I've got tools,I've done things in my life, I'm
not empty-handed, I can handleit.
That's really the essence ofauthoring your life story is not
(00:22):
drawing, it's converting lifeexperiences to future toolkit.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hey, uncommon Leaders , welcome back.
This is the Uncommon Leaderpodcast.
I'm your host, john Gallagher.
Today I'm pleased to bring youa conversation I had recently
that will deeply inspire you totake charge of your personal and
professional narrative.
My guest for the episode isLior Arusi, an accomplished
author, speaker and businessconsultant who's worked with
top-notch organizations likeDelta, walmart, fedex and
(00:53):
Johnson Johnson, just to name afew of them.
He recently released his 10thbook, dare to Author, which
focuses on the idea of authoringyour own life story.
So throughout the episode, weexplore concepts such as
overcoming the imposter syndrome, shifting from a mindset of
merely fixing problems to one ofcreating opportunities, and the
essential practice of receivingand internalizing positive
(01:15):
feedback.
So get ready to be inspired andto start authoring the story
you want to live.
Let's get started.
You want to live let's getstarted.
Lior Abusi, welcome to theUncommon Leader podcast.
Great to have you on the show.
How are you doing today?
Doing well.
Thank you very much for havingme on the show.
(01:36):
You're welcome and I am lookingforward to the conversation and
I know that the listeners aregoing to find tremendous value.
We are here today really to talkabout your newest book that's
come out.
Become the Author and we'll getinto that here real soon.
But I got to tell you.
I mean folks have got to beexcited right off the bat.
I mean you've got 10 differentbooks that you've authored.
(02:00):
You have spoken fororganizations including Delta,
walmart, fedex, johnson, johnsonPizza Hut that's just to name a
few.
Pizza Hut's one of my favoriteplaces, by the way just pizza.
You've had articles that havebeen published in the Harvard
Business Review and ChiefExecutive and Fast Company
magazines Phenomenal brand thatyou've built and I look forward
(02:21):
to hearing many of those stories.
But you're not just a businessguru.
I mean, in your latest book youtalk about how to write your
story and that's really one ofmy first questions that I ask my
first-time guests is to tell mea story from your childhood
that still impacts who you aretoday, as a person or as a
leader.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
The story is actually pretty painful and I think we
are all going through a processof elimination, if you may, or
processing or converting thatinto a positive.
But you know, I went to anelementary school in which our
teachers didn't believe that wedeserved to even go to high
school.
You know, they pretty much toldus to go and either get to an
(03:05):
occupational school or get somejob, but they just didn't
believe in us.
We lived in a certainneighborhood that was not
exactly great.
Many of our parents were notexactly you know, definitely not
college educated.
Many of them were cleaningfloors in the local stores or in
the local you know other places.
So you lived in an environmentin which you went to school but
(03:28):
the attitude was there's notmuch there for you.
You know, the sky is not thelimit.
You know the limit is what yousee around you and that left a
lot of.
You know, I remember at onetime I was, I developed a
crosswords puzzle and my teacherkind of like you copied it from
(03:48):
somewhere.
You can't be that smart and I'mlike, no, I developed it, I sat
down and I created thedefinition and made sure that
everything and they were justlike they dismissed us
completely, and that was not aone-day experience.
It was several years of goingthrough this and they thought,
by the way, that they were doinga good thing for us, because
(04:10):
they were like we're just tryingto keep you very realistic so
you don't get disappointed inlife and you don't dare to do
things that you cannot do, andthen you'll fail.
And they thought they weredoing good by us.
And that story is still with me.
I have no interest in goingback to that school to prove
(04:32):
them wrong, but every daythere's a little child in me
that's like, hey, teacher, youknow I'm not where you thought I
would be.
I am far, far away from thatplace.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I think that's a great story.
You touched on it right off thebat.
That can be a painful story,but when we can turn some of
that pain into our purpose, thatcan be pretty powerful.
One of the gentlemen that Ifollow talks about this, and
folks that have listened to thispodcast probably hear me say
this too often.
But you tend to be mostpowerfully positioned or ready
(05:02):
to help the person that you usedto be Okay, and those stories
help to define us and thosestories, as we turn our pain
into purpose, help those otherchildren that are in those
places right now.
Uh, that can, that can overcomethose things and be successful
and be more fulfilled and bemore happy in the place that
they work.
So thank you for sharing that.
I know those painful storiesare not easy ones to share, but
(05:25):
when you can hear aboutovercoming them, that's pretty
powerful and, frankly, I get.
If you wanted to go back andtalk to that teacher again about
that crossword puzzle, I've gota few of those little stories
myself.
With regards to stories withteachers who told those things
and just you know whether it wasintentional or not can
absolutely be damaging to thegrowth of someone, as they, you
(05:48):
know, are very young and can beinfluenced, so thank you for
sharing that With pleasure and Ihave to tell you I haven't
spoken about this for years.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
It's just with the book with Dare to Author that I
started to kind of engage inthose.
But I have to tell you, Idebated if to go back to that
teacher and I decided not tobecause I didn't want to give
him agency.
I didn't want to give themagency that they actually are
responsible for my success orfor my journey in life.
I mean, the scar that they leftis just that and I'm the one
who converted that lifeexperience into future
(06:19):
resilience, not them.
So by going and settling scoreswith them, it's like giving
them agency over my life, andDare to Author is all about not
allowing those people to getagency over our life.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Well, let's jump right into that, because your
book Dare to Author, talks aboutthat.
I went back and looked at someof it Again.
This is your 10-time author andmost of the books that you've
written have been on customerservice and or excellence or
business transformation andthings like that, and this one
gets more personal, I can tellwith that.
So where did the idea for Dareto Author come from and who did
(06:55):
you write it for?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
So this is another phenomenal story.
I was preparing to make apresentation at one of my
clients.
30 days before the presentationI was supposed to review the
slides at one of my clients 30days before the presentation.
I was supposed to review theslides with the CEO and I know
him.
I've known him for years and hegoes on the call.
And instead of letting mereview the slides, he said to me
Lior, we're going to change thetopic.
(07:17):
You're going to talk about yournext book.
And I'm like Ben, there is nonext book.
And he's like there is, thereis Lior, there is, it's there.
I want you to come in and talkabout your next book.
And half-jokingly, I threatenedhim.
I said Ben, I have 30 days.
I don't have time to create anew book for you.
I'm going to bring Winnie thePooh and I'm going to read and
(07:42):
read Winnie the Pooh.
I'm sure I'm going to learnsomething from it.
And he told me I'm counting onyou, you're going to come up
with something.
And at that time I justpublished an article at Chief
Executive Magazine.
It was not a book, it was justan article with a nucleus of a
question of who is authoringyour life story and the origin
of that was I've been in thebusiness transformation for
(08:04):
three decades.
I'm not just a speaker.
Most of the work that I do isactually doing it.
I'm there with the employees, Isee their struggles and
everything else, and I alwaysfind that the real obstacle is
the story.
They're stuck in an old storyand they don't know how to move,
close the chapter and move tothe next chapter.
So in many ways, whenever theyface change, they become victim,
(08:29):
they respond with victimhood,they become very passive and
they cannot really emerge fromthat victimhood into the next
chapter that they need to do.
So it was from a lot of thoselearnings that I said maybe it's
time to go to the root cause ofthem all, which is we don't
know, as human beings, how toauthor our story and, as a
(08:49):
result of it, we let externalfactors beliefs, fears, biases,
other people's statements toreally author our story, and
that story is not a story we areproud of.
So you know, in many ways itcame from decades of working
through transformations andthrough employees struggling,
through converting lifeexperiences into future stories.
(09:12):
And then I layered on top of itthe personal part, because
ultimately what I learned is,when I open myself up, they can
open themselves up as well.
If you want to lead someone,learn how to lead with your
stories.
Don't come with invincibleleadership story because nobody
can connect to that anymore.
If you're so invincible, thenwhy should I follow you?
And I allowed myself for thepurpose of connecting with
(09:34):
people and giving thempermission to open those topics,
to touch those scars.
I mean, I just had, just acouple of hours ago, somebody
called me.
He just read the book from backto back, sent me a picture with
all the notes that he made andsaid I'm going to be reading it
again and again and againbecause you allowed me to touch
(09:54):
places in my heart that I didnot believe I will ever touch it
and it's because youexperienced it I'm willing to
touch them and I'm feeling moresafe, and so on and so forth.
So I wrote it for everyone whowants to lead life with victory
over victimhood, who wants toconvert their scars into stars
(10:15):
and embrace the future, becausewhenever we are victims, we are
giving agency to others and weshould not, and we're not future
ready and we're not able todeal with the future the way it
should be.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Love that.
We'll talk about a couple ofconcepts in the book here pretty
soon that are in that when youfinished so you started this
book at the urging of a CEO whosaid basically, write your next
book.
He wasn't telling you to writeyour story, but this came out of
that when you were finishedwith it, what was going through
your mind when you finished it?
(10:48):
What was there for you in termsof writing a book like this?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
First, it was a big journey because during the
writing of the book I lostseveral people that are very
important to me.
So that was painful there and Ineeded to learn how to convert
those emotions.
It was written in differentparts of the world.
I mean, a portion of it waswritten in Paris, a portion of
it was written in New Jersey, aportion of it was written in
Dubai.
I was traveling, I was doingwork and, as a result so there
(11:14):
are a lot of factors that camein and I have to tell you it was
a journey for me as well.
I wasn't sure if the book iseven worth publishing.
I wasn't sure because it's thefirst time that I'm opening with
my own stories.
I didn't know that my storieswere worth it.
My previous books were allabout business examples,
business case studies,measurable successes, case
studies from here until the endof the book, and this was very
(11:39):
personal.
In fact, I sent it to severalof my friends and said do you
think it's worth it?
Is it even worth doing it?
And their responses were justso personal that I said okay,
lior, it's a different book, butlet's jump in.
And that's what I did.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Lior, I love that.
I think there's something again, something there.
Maybe in the next one, Maybewe'll talk about the 11th book
that you're going to come outwith.
You touched on this.
You said that folks are not incontrol of their own life's
narrative, or they may thinkthey're not in control of their
own life's narrative.
What are some of the thingsthat they have to overcome to be
(12:18):
able to write that story in aneffective way?
What are some of the barriersthey have to overcome?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
So I'm going to go into two or three classic
examples.
Okay, let's start with theimposter syndrome.
I tell a personal story aboutthe imposter syndrome where I
was about to meet the CEO ofNokia at that time the largest
cell phone manufacturer in theworld and I froze.
I was like what do I have tosay to this guy?
(12:43):
He's controlling 43% of themarket share of cell phones.
At the time there was no iPhone.
At the time we were all usingNokia.
And the imposter syndrome isbasically your deepest fear of
being caught up as a fake takingover and coloring all your
successes and telling you thatall your successes are fake and
(13:04):
you don't believe your own, yourown capabilities.
That's an example of if youdon't overcome the imposter
syndrome.
It's defining your success.
It's defining your choices ifto apply to the next job, if to
apply for a promotion or to doanything.
It it's not just the fear, itdefines your next steps.
Another one which I talk aboutin the book, which is one of my
(13:27):
favorites, is good news, badnews.
What do you like first?
And everybody's saying bad newsfirst.
And I'm exposing the fact thatwhen you are looking for bad
news first, you're looking tofix the present, you're not
looking at opportunities in thefuture.
The same situation can eitherpresent to you a fixing
opportunity or leveraging andcreating opportunity.
And from there I extrapolatethe conversation Are you a fixer
(13:51):
or are you a creator?
Are you looking for the past orare you looking for the future?
And I have to tell you, a lotof people kind of argued with me
that specific area, includingmy own wife, by the way and I
insist that if you're bad newsfirst, you're a fixer and you're
all about reinforcing thecurrent and you're not future
ready, and you need to startlooking and asking for the good
(14:12):
news first, because you'rewearing the mindset of
opportunity, not the mindset ofthe world is broken.
I need to be the firefighter tofix it.
And the last one, which I thinkwe all need to re-examine our
position, is what I call thegratitude denial syndrome.
We've all been there.
You get feedback it's all goodstuff and you start getting
(14:32):
anxious what's wrong?
Why are they telling me thesegood things?
We're downplaying the goodthings and we're like OK, tell
me what's wrong.
It's like, whoa, stop.
Why do you think the good news?
Why do you think, think thegratitude is fake?
Why do you amplify and givemore weight to the feedback that
is negative over the one thatis positive, and my argument is
(14:56):
that when we don't listen to thepositive feedback, we don't
recharge our capabilities.
We all have good things and badthings within us, but by not
listening, by denying thegratitude, by asking for okay,
tell me what's wrong again,we're not refueling, we're not
generating energy that can helpus face the next challenges from
a position of strength, notfrom a position of victimhood.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Hey listeners, I want to take a quick moment to share
something special with you.
Many of the topics anddiscussions we have on this
podcast are areas where Iprovide coaching and consulting
services for individuals andorganizations.
If you've been inspired by ourconversation and are seeking a
catalyst for change in your ownlife or within your team, I
invite you to visitcoachjohngallaghercom forward
(15:41):
slash free call to sign up for afree coaching call with me.
It's an opportunity for us toconnect, discuss your unique
challenges and explore howcoaching or consulting can
benefit you and your team.
Okay, let's get back to theshow.
Lior, I love that.
Two of those last two,especially as you touched on
(16:02):
them.
Why do we struggle so much toreceive compliments?
I make up a little bit aboutthat that some folks like to put
a facade up, that it's in theposition of humility, that they
don't want to lift themselves upwhen they hear that, but the
fact is it absolutely dishonorsthe person that's giving that
(16:22):
feedback as well and not havingan attitude of gratitude to
receiving that feedback, andthey start to walk away from
that.
So I do think I don't know whywe tend to be a society of not
accepting compliments.
(16:43):
Somebody tells us that ourhouse is nice and we're like,
yeah, yeah, I got to do a lot ofwork to it, though I mean
there's, there's things that wejust don't accept.
In that, in that spirit ofgratitude, I think it's really
powerful that you talk about andwe'll get.
I'm coming back.
The other one was like youpointed the finger in the book
as I read through it, and I'mglad you brought it up.
I had as a question this areyou a good news first person or
(17:04):
a bad news first person?
There's no doubt I'm a fixer.
I had been.
The question is do you want thegood news or you want the bad
news?
Well, give me the bad newsfirst, because I can fix it.
Even that part, I can take itas the bad news first, and then
I'll feel better when I get thegood news at the end.
But you're absolutely right interms of that bad news puts you
(17:24):
in the present tense of what'shappening, and that good news
really gives you opportunity tolook forward in the future.
So back to that.
Compliments, though, and notaccepting compliments Again.
What's a discipline that we canuse to recognize when we're not
using gratitude to acceptcompliments?
(17:45):
How do we overcome that?
Speaker 1 (17:47):
So first, if I may build up on what you said before
, which is we're kind of likesaying, oh, we don't want to be
arrogant.
Listening to gratitude isdifferent than bragging about
gratitude.
So let's again, let's clarifywhat we're talking about.
I want you to accept it, I wantyou to listen to it, I want you
to be able to reference it foryourself.
(18:08):
I didn't ask you to go and puta poster out there that brags
about.
These are two different things.
And another analogy is, with allthe humility, your car needs
fuel, otherwise it can't moveforward.
We need that feedback in orderto move forward.
So that's the first thing.
Now let's talk about thediscipline.
I'm going to share with yousomething that I do.
I get a nice comment fromsomeone, I get a nice email.
(18:30):
I have a special file calledthank yous.
In my worst moments, when I'mfeeling down and we all have
them, ups and downs and so on soI'm going back there just to
remind myself the places and thetimes where I did good, where I
impacted other people, and I goback and said, okay, what have
(18:51):
you done there?
Can you activate that skill?
Can you activate?
The purpose of listening togratitude is not just in order
to feel good.
It's also in order to hone yourskills and understand what is
your superpower.
So when I go to those positivefeedback, I'm looking for what
is the skill that can help memove forward, what is the things
I'm doing very well, what arethe things that can help me face
(19:14):
the new unknown, but not from aposition of victimhood, but
from a position of I'm ready,I've got tools, I've done things
in my life.
I'm not empty-handed, I canhandle it.
That's really the essence ofauthoring your life story is not
journaling, it's convertinglife experiences to future
toolkits.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
So good, so good.
Lior, thank you so much forthat.
I mean absolutely, and I lovethe idea of the thank you folder
, whether it's via emails oreven note cards that you receive
.
I mean, if we, as the giver ofthose note cards, truly
understood the value in thereceiving of a handwritten note
card and where it ends up in adrawer somewhere, that has an
(19:54):
impact on somebody.
And, frankly, that even leadsme into, kind of one of the
other points that you talk about.
With regards to a good storyrequires three things it
requires a hero, it requires avictim and a villain.
And then you have a plus whereyou add in and it says and it
requires a moment, which I love,that it reminds me of popular
(20:18):
movies.
They got to have the momentright when the victim needs the
hero, or whatever that is.
So tell me about that in termsof developing your story and how
we become more effective inthat model, if you will, that
framework.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
So, with your permission, I use in the book
one example that I think is souniversal that it's worth
repeating, and that is COVID.
At COVID, we all started asvictims.
None of our institutions knewwhat to do with it.
The health system, the academia, the government, the UN nobody
knew.
We all started as victims, andmy challenge to the readers,
(20:58):
through the prompts that Iprovide, the questions and the
prompts in the book is let'swrite that chapter in which you
emerged from a victim to avictor and we go step by step.
What happened?
How did you feel?
And then, all of a sudden,restrictions you have to stay
home.
What have you done?
What things that you used to doyou no longer can do.
(21:19):
And you learn to survive that.
And then there was that momentwhere you move from survival to
I can do that, I can dosomething with that.
Now I have more time at home,maybe I can spend it with family
, maybe I will do a project athome, and all of a sudden we
discover, through a verypersonal strength, what our true
values are, what our truecapabilities are, and we emerge
(21:43):
victorious.
We all have that moment whereour values are being tested,
where victimhood seemed to bethe default but we refuse to do
it and it takes a choice to sayit's very easy to say I'm a
victim, say it's very easy tosay I'm a victim.
But when you discover thatpower and you convert yourself
into a vector of the situation,that's when you discover the
(22:04):
next layer of yourself, the nextcapabilities of yourself, and
so on and so forth.
So that is the moment wheresomething in us is seeing
capabilities that we have notleveraged in a moment of threat
or in a moment of distress, orin a moment of difficulty.
And that's of distress or in amoment of difficulty.
And that's when we convert them.
So, if I may give you an example, a lot of clients called me
(22:25):
during COVID and they said Lior,it's a disaster, it's darkness,
we don't know what to do.
And I said what is the firstword that comes to mind?
And they all said darkness,helplessness.
And they use the wordunprecedented and I said that's
great, that's correct.
Factually, you're right.
But you know what alsounprecedented means?
It also means I'm helpless andI have no tools, so we cannot
(22:46):
get out of there.
First question I asked them whatdo you want to do, survive or
thrive?
And they look at me it's likethrive.
I mean, we're trying to survive.
I said no, no guys, here arethe good news.
You had a strategy.
Then you got a punch in theface and you're on the floor.
Good news is, your competitionare also Now.
The question is not who's onthe floor, because you're all on
the floor.
The question is who's going toget up and for what purpose.
(23:09):
If you're going to try tosurvive, you may survive.
If you're going to try tothrive, you may actually get to
a much better place than whereyou are.
And he said we still don't knowhow to do it, we don't have the
tools.
And I said great, let's thinkabout the last time you felt
unprecedented event.
You know helplessness, and formany of the business people, it
was 2008, 2009,.
You know the financial crisis.
(23:31):
And I said so you were heretoday, so you survived it right,
and maybe even more than that.
Let's go back to that chapterand let's analyze it the same
way.
You were a victim.
What was the moment?
What values, what emotions, howdid you emerge?
What was your superpower?
The same set of questions thatI provide in the book.
And by the end of that maybe anhour to 90 minutes conversation
(23:53):
, we had a chapter written fromA to Z like a case study, and
the end of it was not wesurvived.
The end of it was these are thethings we are good at.
These are the values that helpus survive.
This is the superpower.
Now, all of a sudden, they lookat COVID and they said I'm not
helpless, I've done things in mylife.
(24:14):
I'm not a victim, I have tools.
I live through unprecedentedevents, and that's really the
essence of the book.
The book is not about to makeyou feel good.
It's about it's making theargument that when you do not
author your own life story, youare helpless every time that
there is an unprecedented event.
But if you are being proactiveabout authoring your life story,
(24:38):
you will convert those lifeexperiences into future toolkit,
toolbox and resilience andfuture readiness.
You'll enjoy the future better.
You'll enjoy change morebecause you're not coming to it
frightened and victim, as youused to before.
Those experiences are convertedinto future energy.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Well, leroy, you do such a great job explaining that
.
I think that if folks realizethat and you used the word a
couple times in interviews sofar superpower If folks can
learn how to find theirsuperpower or recognize it, what
they have, and be able toovercome some of those things,
how do you determine what yoursuperpower is?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
So let me start with my belief.
I believe that we are here fora purpose in life and we each
have a unique purpose, and weare also being placed exactly
where we are needed, where theworld needs something from us,
and we're the only one that canprovide it.
That's why we are different.
We are unique.
We have our own fingerprintsthat are very, very unique.
Through the gratitude, throughthe analysis of previous
(25:44):
experiences, you will eventuallysee what makes you special.
Some people, for example, usehumor.
Humor is their superpower.
They'll diffuse the hardest,difficult situation with humor.
They'll make other people laughwhen no one else can laugh.
That's their superpower, andhumor is their unique way of
doing that.
Other people are analytics.
(26:07):
In times of distress, they cankeep their head cool and they
can think through whatever.
Others are compassionate.
Their superpower is compassion.
They can see any person, see ontheir face a certain type of
distress and they can give themthe best hugs.
They're the biggest huggers outthere and that's their
(26:27):
superpower.
Other people know how to singand they inspire the world with
their singing and their words.
So we each have a gift that weneed to uncover.
How are you going to uncover it?
You need to open it.
How do you open it?
Through life experiences.
But if you're not going toanalyze your life experiences,
you're keeping those skillshidden.
So that's our process ofunpacking that superpower,
(26:51):
testing it in real life andrefining it for the future.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Love that it's so simple, right?
I mean that purposeful act ofreflection to understand how we
overcame some of those thingsand identifying what that
through line is in each of thosescenarios can be really
powerful.
Let me run something by here,another one of your chapters.
So I would say that if someonewere asked a question of an
(27:18):
individual who's had a positiveimpact on their life and they
wrote your name, my name, yourname, down on that list, that
that's one of the greateststories ever told in terms of
how those stories are, becauseyou must be intentional with
that person to make that happen.
You must be very relationalwith that person.
You must have had, again, animpact on their life, whether
(27:39):
it's in their faith, theirfinances, in their work or the
relationships that they have.
You have chapters that who isyour hero and can you become one
.
Is that kind of lined up withthat in terms of can you become
a hero, how do you become a hero?
Speaker 1 (27:57):
So in the book I talk about the center of gravity.
There can be two centers ofgravity for each and every one
of us either ourselves or others.
I cite certain studies thatdemonstrate that people who are
placing the center of gravity inothers, in the impact that they
create on others, are actuallyhappier, healthier, live longer,
(28:18):
because they tap into the partof themselves that can give, as
opposed to the part ofthemselves that constantly feel
need and emptiness anddeficiency, and so on and so
forth.
Heroes don't call themselvesheroes.
They don't wake up and say, oh,today I'm a hero, let me put
the cape on, and so on and soforth.
(28:38):
It doesn't happen that way.
Heroes react instinctively tothe needs of others because
their center of gravity isothers and the impact that they
can give on other people, asopposed to non-heroes who are
(29:04):
acting in their ownself-interest and don't see
anybody else.
And there will never be a hero,because the act of heroism, the
courage to overcome fear, isusually in service of others and
a greater purpose than justthemselves.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Love that so cool.
Thank you for sharing that,lior.
I want to run the book test byyou.
Folks are going to read yourbook.
They're going to set it up on abookshelf and, just like the
one behind me, and they're goingto see the backing of the book
or however it is.
It's been there sitting on thebookshelf for a year.
What do you want them to thinkwhen they look back at that
binding and see your book thatthey read a year ago?
What do you want them to think?
(29:31):
What do you want them to havethought or want them to have
done in a year since they readthe book?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
I want them to associate the book with two
elements inspiration and courage.
And I want them, when they feeldown, to open the book and read
one chapter.
It can be the chapter aboutcynicism.
It can be the chapter aboutleading other people.
It can be the chapter that isabsolutely telling them at the
end we have no guarantees thatlife is going to be great, but
(30:00):
you still have a unique storythat only you can tell.
I want them to know that,despite all the challenges in
this book, they will be remindedthat there are unique
individuals with a story thatthe world needs and they need to
tell.
But it's a choice to make tostop the victimhood, to stop the
blaming and start taking chargeof the narrative.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Leo Arusi.
I have enjoyed thisconversation tremendously.
How do folks learn more aboutyou and or where do you want
them to get your book?
Speaker 1 (30:31):
So the book is available on Amazon or other
book channels Barnes, nobleBooks, a Million, and so on and
so forth.
Other book channels Bonds andNobles Books, a Million, and so
on and so forth.
More about my work, and I posta lot of my articles free of
charge liorarussicom,l-i-o-r-a-r-u-s-s-ycom.
You'll see some of my videosthere, some of my articles.
Please share, please use them,please challenge yourself when
(30:55):
you read them.
My style is the same as you seein the book.
I'm firm but loving, but firmAt the end of the day.
It's about moving up.
It's about rising up to thebetter version of ourselves.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Lior, I'll be sure to put those links in the show
notes so that folks can sharethat, and I will encourage them
to do so.
Lior, again I appreciate youproviding us the time.
I'm going to give you the lastword here with the question that
I always finish off with.
I'm going to give you abillboard.
You can put it anywhere youwant to.
What's the story you put onthat billboard and why do you
(31:29):
put that story on there?
Speaker 1 (31:33):
The story will be a slogan, if you may.
That says will be a slogan, ifyou may.
That says leading life ofvictory over victimhood it's a
choice.
That's my statement Living lifeof victory over victimhood it's
a choice.
And the reason why I put itthere is because I want to
(31:57):
remind people that, no matterhow life is challenging, no
matter how life is unplanned, wealways have a choice, and the
choice is to lead it and torefuse to be a victim.
The default is victim, and welive in a society when it's very
easy to feel entitled to blameother people.
But you know what, when youblame other people, you don't
move forward, you just get stuckand at the end of the day, all
(32:19):
you've got is a whole bunch ofexcuses but no real achievements
.
And when you look at the mirror, the question you ask yourself
is are you proud of that?
And I want you to be proud ofthat person you see out there.
The only way you will be iswhen you'll decide to live life
with victory over victimhood andmake the choice and this is not
a one-time choice, it's aneveryday choice.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Amen, inspiration and courage.
You have provided that to ustoday, lior I appreciate you
sharing with the listeners ofthe Uncommon Leader podcast, and
I wish you the best goingforward.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Thank you very much, John, for having me on the show.
It was wonderful.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
And that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon
Leader Podcast.
Thanks for tuning in today.
If you found value in thisepisode, I encourage you to
share it with your friends,colleagues or anyone else who
could benefit from the insightsand inspiration we've shared.
Also, if you have a moment, I'dgreatly appreciate if you could
leave a rating and review onyour favorite podcast platform.
Your feedback not only helps usto improve, but it also helps
(33:18):
others discover the podcast andjoin our growing community of
uncommon leaders.
Until next time, go and growchampions.
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