Three Ways to Build Your Leadership Trust Account

Trust forms the foundation of leadership, functioning like a bank account where we make deposits through positive actions and withdrawals through negative behaviors.

• Trust requires doing what you say, saying what you do, and being authentically human in all interactions
• It often takes "99 attaboys to make up for one aw crap moment" in leadership
• When trust is broken, asking for forgiveness isn't enough—behavior change is essential
• Apologizing without changing behavior is like "patching a bucket while still running water into it"
• The Platinum Rule suggests treating others how they want to be treated, not just how you want to be treated
• Building trust requires consistent deposits that accumulate interest over time

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It sometimes feels like it takes 99 attaboys to
make up for one aw crap moment.
So at its core it's simple Dowhat you say, say what you do
and be authentically human inyour interactions with others.
But simple doesn't always meaneasy Common leaders.

(00:23):
Welcome back to the after show.
This is like your weekly doseof leadership insights.
A chance for me to summarize,if you will, a great
conversation I've had recentlyon the Uncommon Leader podcast.
You can kind of treat it likeyour leadership highlights, so
to speak, that you might watchafter a football game.
It's the After Show and I wantto add some of my key points for

(00:43):
you and help you to take awaysome actionable insights from my
conversations that I have.
This week I had an incredibleconversation with the author of
Endless Customers.
His name was Marcus Sheridanand he really had a chance to
share with us some powerfulinsights on closing what he
referred to as the trust deficitwith customers, and he talked

(01:04):
about business, but I think thiscorrelates so much with
leadership as well, and he and Itouched on that just a little
bit, that I couldn't think howit perfectly lines up to the
principles of leadership.
So he gave us four key points.
He said, to say what othersaren't willing to say.
Show what others aren't willingto show.
Sell how others aren't willingto sell.

(01:25):
And his fourth point be morehuman than others are willing to
be.
So let's dig into that a littlebit.
Think of that from again, froma leadership standpoint.
My favorite leadership book ofall time, the 21 Irrefutable
Laws of Leadership, by John CMaxwell, law number six is the
law of solid ground, and in thatchapter he says that trust is
the foundation of leadership,and I don't think there's

(01:47):
anything that's more true inthat today.
You know, I really believe thatthat book, frankly, is one that
all leaders should read asrequired reading as they get
started on their leadershipjourney.
But enough about my marketingof John Maxwell's books.
He does a good enough job withthat.
But enough about my marketingof John Maxwell's books.
He does a good enough job withthat.
Ultimately, when I think of thistrust word, I think of it like

(02:09):
a bank account and we have tomake deposits and we got to make
withdrawals to that bankaccount.
That's what happens ultimately.
When you make more withdrawalsthan you make deposits, then you
lose the influence in yourleadership and it becomes very
difficult.
Now how do we make thosewithdrawals?
Some of those happen when youdon't do something that you make

(02:32):
a commitment in doing, or someof them when you act out and
yell in a situation andultimately less human than you
usually are and folks getdefensive.
In that it's like when someonesays I woke up on the wrong side
of the bed today and like it'ssupposed to justify their
behavior and justify some ofthose things.
And you know, I wish it werethat simple and even something I

(02:53):
could do as well.
But if you realize you've wokenup on the wrong side of the bed
, why don't you just get backinto bed and get back out on the
other side?
Or if you know which side isthe bad side, go ahead and push
that side up against the wall soyou can't get out of it anymore
.
The fact is we have no excusesfor making those withdrawals,
and so what's the challenge Imean ultimately, if we treat it

(03:14):
like a bank account and we tryto maintain a positive account,
more deposits than withdrawals.
It's important to understandthat those withdrawals are often
more difficult to overcome.
With deposits, it sometimesfeels like it takes 99 attaboys
to make up for one aw crapmoment.
So at its core.
It's simple Do what you say,say what you do and be

(03:36):
authentically human in yourinteractions with others.
But simple doesn't always meaneasy.
If you've got a negativebalance in your trust account
with someone that you're goingto chat with, what do you do?
We got to ask for forgivenessand I encourage you to
understand not to expectimmediate acceptance of that.
You've got to change yourbehaviors.

(03:58):
People will forgive, but theydon't forget some of those
things, especially if there'sbeen some bad withdrawals.
And you've got to change yourbehaviors as a leader.
If you ask for forgiveness oryou apologize to someone for
some activity, yet you don'tchange your behavior, frankly,
there's nothing really worsethan that, and I've heard it
referred to as trying to patch abucket while still running

(04:18):
water into the bucket.
It just doesn't work.
It doesn't make it easy.
So you've got to make sure thatwhen you apologize, that when
you ask for forgiveness, you arechanging your behavior so that
you're making more deposits backinto that trust account than
you make withdrawals One of thethings that I also believe
through this.
You can read that in scriptureas well.
Matthew 7, 12 says so whateveryou wish that others would do to

(04:40):
you, do also to them, for thisis the law.
That's about as clear as itgets and something and people
have often referred to that as agolden rule.
I even like to subscribe to theplatinum rule myself, which is
the golden rule plus, whichultimately is treating people
the way they would like to betreated not just how you want to
be treated, but how they wantto be treated.

(05:02):
If you made too manywithdrawals, no doubt about it
one of the most important thingsyou can do is ask for
forgiveness and then, moreimportantly, change your
behavior going forward and makemore deposits into that account,
treat others with the samerespect and humility that you
wish they would show you, andwatch that trust account fill
back up again, put a positiveaccount in there and start to

(05:22):
accumulate interest on that asyou go.
Well, that's the after show fortoday.
Folks, remember, trust is thefoundation of leadership.
Without it, your effectivenessas a leader is going to be
severely diminished.
Make those deposits and avoidthose withdrawals as much as you
can, and go back and listen tomy full episode with Marcus
Sheridan as he talks about someof his incredible insights on

(05:44):
his new book, endless Customers.
And if this episode hasresonated with you just a little
bit.
Please share it with someonewho needs to hear it.
We can get it in the hands ofmore uncommon listeners like you
that need to hear this message.
And if you get a chance, goahead and leave a five-star
review.
I would appreciate it.
And until next time, go andgrow champions.

(06:05):
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(06:27):
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