February 12, 2025 • 19 mins
In this episode of The Unhinged Father, we dive deep into the lasting effects of the COVID-19 lockdowns and how they shaped modern parenting, social interactions, and mental well-being. As a new dad in March 2020, I found myself navigating not just fatherhood but also a world shutting down around me. Now, years later, I question—have I (or any of us) truly recovered?
From the rise of remote work and social distancing to the struggle of rebuilding community and in-person connections, this episode unpacks the unintended consequences of the pandemic. We discuss how fear-driven messaging, isolation, and a shift toward a more digital society have changed the way we interact, parent, and view the world.
Are we more disconnected than ever? Has social anxiety become the new norm? And how do we break free from the comfort zone of isolation to reclaim real human interaction?
Tune in for an honest, unfiltered take on how the pandemic reshaped our lives—and what we can do to move forward.
#Fatherhood #ParentingPodcast #MillennialDad #PandemicEffects #MentalHealth #SocialAnxiety #COVID19 #PersonalGrowth
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the show everyone.
Hope everyone's having afantastic day, having a good
February so far, that youryear's off to a good start and
hopefully you're sticking toyour New Year's resolutions a
little bit better than I've been.
I said when I started doingthese episodes again back in the
beginning of January that Iwould be planning them out and
really digging in and makingsure that I have a cohesive
(00:21):
episode episode.
Basically, that I'd have a plan, go along that plan, get my
ideas out, and I have not donethat whatsoever.
Today is even worse Because Ididn't have water for most of
the day.
They are doing construction onmy street, so no water, no
showers, no using the restroom,all that good stuff.
So and I've also got to pick upmy son today A little
(00:46):
miscommunication with thegrandparents.
So I think I've got a goodepisode planned for you.
Hopefully y'all can bear withme and hopefully we go in a
relatively straight line downthis one.
But something that's kind ofpopped up as we were about to
hit March and I can remember inMarch of 2020, I had been a dad
for roughly six months or so.
(01:06):
Six, seven months wasdefinitely in the thick of it,
learning what I needed to do.
We had gone through a couple oftransitions, some big
transitions in our life, and Ibasically had to get my shit
together.
I wasn't the dad that I wantedto be when I first started the
fatherhood journey.
I wasn't the husband that mywife needed or that she deserved
, and there were a lot of thingsabout me that I needed to kind
(01:29):
of look within and make changeson.
And March 2020 rolls around,and if you are over the age of
what 15, 16, 17 years old youknow what happened.
Then, right, covid-19 comesaround.
The pandemic shut down for twoweeks to stop the spread was the
(01:50):
verbiage that we were given.
That's what we were told by thegovernment.
And a couple of years later, wewere still in lockdown.
People had masks on their face.
All this stuff and this episodeisn't to dive into the politics
of it episode isn't to diveinto the politics of it.
I will say that when it firststarted, I was not a big fan of
the lockdowns.
I wasn't a fan of giving thegovernment more power and the
(02:12):
ability to lock down us, lockdown businesses, to do basically
carte blanche, whatever thefuck they wanted to do.
That was something that I wascompletely against and also I
didn't like the fact that fearwas what was driving everyone.
It was like you should beafraid.
Be afraid of this.
This is going to kill you, it'sgoing to kill your grandparents
, and if you're not fearful,then you are essentially killing
(02:35):
other people as well.
It was a real weird, sick andtwisted time and I think that
most people have moved on fromthat right.
We're now a couple years out ofthe pandemic, out of the
lockdowns.
I don't really see masksanymore.
I don't see people living infear or hiding or cowering,
which is a good thing, but Idon't think that I've truly
(02:57):
recovered from the effects ofthe lockdowns and I don't think
I've truly recovered from whatthat pandemic, what it was.
I was at a transitional periodin my life of becoming a new dad
and having this new life that Iwas responsible for caring
about, but also thinking aboutthings for for him, what I
(03:17):
needed to do for him, what wasbest for my son, not just like
what's going to keep me alive orwhat's going to be best for me
or my wife.
I had a new, brand new lifeform that I was completely
responsible for, the help of mywife, for keeping alive, and
this is typically a time inparents' lives or in people's
lives, where they don'tnecessarily go within right.
(03:39):
They don't necessarily closeeveryone off.
This is a time in your lifewhen you need the most support
and the most help, when you'renot getting any fucking sleep
and when you don't know what thehell is going on.
You don't know what the fuckyou're doing.
This is a time that you shouldbe relying on grandparents,
friends, aunts, uncles, familymembers, anyone, anyone that can
(04:00):
help you.
You should be relying on themfor help, for advice, for
knowledge, so that way you canbe the best parent that you can
possibly be, and also make surethat you're taking care of
yourself as well.
Well, for me it was like thecomplete opposite.
We all shut down Everything,shut down, don't go see people,
don't go to restaurants.
And then once we started likeopening things back up, it was
(04:23):
like make sure that you'rewearing a mask, make sure your
kids are wearing masks.
I remember when my kid was twoand he went to daycare, they
wanted him to wear a mask.
I'm like dude, there's no waythat's going to fucking happen.
The kid's going to rip it off.
And also, you know, there were alot of unintended consequences
that came along with the factthat everyone was wearing masks,
that we were not being social.
(04:44):
It's the rise of the Zoomgeneration, and I really do
think you know social media wasgoing to be this huge thing in
the future anyway.
But the COVID lockdowns reallypropelled technology to the
forefront of everyone's life.
You had distance learning, zoom, microsoft Teams, like
(05:04):
everything really came into playduring this time and there were
some benefits to that.
Right, I think that a lot ofcompanies realized that you
could have people work more oflike a hybrid basis and have a
little bit more of a work-lifebalance.
But also you had this fuzzyline now that exists for people
who work fully, remote or evenhybrid, of trying to separate
(05:25):
their personal life from theirwork life.
Right, if you're working fromhome constantly, where do you
draw that line between being atwork and being at home?
And there's a lot of differentthings, a lot of feelings that I
have about this, a lot ofthoughts that I have about it.
But for me personally, I justdon't think that I've truly
recovered fully from it, becauseI used to be a very outgoing
(05:46):
person.
I was, I've always had restingbitch face, and people say that
when they meet me they're alittle intimidated, or I can be
intimidating because I'm reallyintense.
But once you get to know mesuper nice person, very
welcoming, enjoy other people'scompany.
I am a little bit of someonewho says whatever the hell's on
his mind and I can get onpeople's nerves and say stuff
(06:10):
that's abrasive and brash andnot always people's favorite.
But in general even people whodisagree with me get along with
me well, because it's never in ahateful way that I have these
conversations.
But since the pandemic and sinceI've gone through these
lockdowns I've become much morecautious and skeptical of other
(06:35):
people and haven't really gottenback out into being a personal
person of going out and talkingto neighbors or having random
conversations or inviting peopleinto our home and having people
over for barbecues.
There's a lot of things that Idon't do, that I used to do
quite a bit of that I used to.
(06:55):
I used to be someone who wouldhost.
I'd want to have, if you know,now my kid's older, have
families come over, have themcome over for a barbecue, drink
beer with them, drink wine withthem, have fun, let the kids
have fun.
That's all stuff.
That's kind of fell by thewayside and I think part of it
is that, like I said, I justhaven't truly recovered from the
(07:15):
mental I don't know if you wantto call it lowercase T trauma
or just the mental block that'scame up, and I'm definitely
still struggling with this and Ithink there are a lot of people
who are struggling with it.
It and now that we've becomemore of like a distant society
with Zoom, I think there are alot of hurdles in the way of
(07:35):
having actual human interactionwith other people and a lot of
people or maybe not a lot ofpeople, I don't know.
This is like I said.
This is all from the context ofsocial media and seeing what
people are posting, and just myown experience as well, but I do
think that it's harder forpeople to be more social.
It's almost more sociallyacceptable to be antisocial,
(07:57):
which is fine in certain aspects, but we are social creatures.
We should be interacting witheach other outside of Zoom,
outside of Microsoft team,outside of social media.
Social media is not real.
Instagram is not real.
This podcast is, you know, it'sstill a virtual communication
that I'm having with all of you.
It's not an in-person, anin-person thing.
(08:18):
We're not sitting down breakingbread, having fun, being able
to interact with each other andreally get to know each other on
a personal level, and it'ssomething that I think that we
need to get back to as a society, especially parents.
This is it's been reallydifficult on everyone, don't get
me wrong.
The lockdowns were brutal foreveryone.
I feel so bad for the kids thathad the school shut down.
(08:39):
They missed their senior yearof football.
They didn't get to go to prom,they didn't get to do any of the
sports or any of thoseextracurriculars or anything
they could have done, but theydidn't get a chance to do.
They didn't get to walk attheir college graduation.
There's so many things thatpeople missed out on because we
were locked down for so long andwe were so within our own
(09:00):
little worlds that I think a lotof us have gotten used to that
and it's almost like a comfortzone now.
It's like a safety zone for us,but, as a lot of us know, we
don't grow within safety.
Safety is not always the bestthing for us.
It's not.
It's just a place that we cansit, think that we're safe, be
in our little cocoon, our littlecomfort bubble, not grow, not
(09:22):
become better people and, in allhonesty, develop weird fucking
mental illnesses and mentaldisorders and things like that.
There's a lot of stuff thathappens when you become isolated
.
I mean there's.
There's a reason why in prison,you know, putting someone in
isolation is seen as apunishment, because it can have
a really messed up effect on thebrain.
(09:42):
And that's not to say that thelockdowns were that extreme, you
know total lockdown for 24,seven, not having any human
interaction whatsoever, justfour walls to look at.
At least it wasn't for me, butthere might be people who did
have that in their lives, whowere in that type of situation,
and I think that it had a bigimpact on everyone but parents.
(10:04):
A huge impact Because we werebeing told to be afraid, be
afraid for our kids, be afraidfor our grandparents, and to
follow all these rules andrestrictions and not get help
from grandparents, not go seesick grandparents, not go see
friends or family, not have anyof that help.
(10:25):
Right, you were basically justrelying on yourself.
For me and my wife, it was us,us against the world, which I
like for certain things, but notfor everything.
And maybe I say I like it nowbecause that's just my pride
coming through and I really dowish that I was able to rely on
more people, that I had a biggernetwork, and this isn't to say
that everyone falls into thisbucket.
(10:46):
This could be just certainthings that I struggle with, and
if that's the case, let me know.
Maybe it's just me being me andI fell into this trap and I'm
not necessarily pulling myselfout of it, but I would venture
to guess that there are otherpeople who are struggling just
like me in a lot of these sameareas of their lives, in a time
when parents should be teachingtheir kids how to socialize and
(11:11):
getting out, making friends,making connections, getting help
.
We weren't able to do that andI think that we're moving down a
path that, hopefully, is better.
But even as we move out ofCOVID, it's almost like the
lockdowns are ending, thepandemic is over.
All this stuff right.
There's a lot of things comingout about how it wasn't
(11:33):
necessarily the best for us.
There's a lot of unintendedconsequences.
Your kids weren't beingsocialized appropriately
Teachers wearing masks, theycouldn't see people speaking
when they were actually beingtaught, and so that has an
impact on how your kids arebeing.
You know are actually learningthe material.
There are a lot of differentthings that happened.
We were teaching kids to befearful of other people.
(11:55):
That's one of the sick thingsabout this.
Is that?
What should I be afraid of?
It's like other people, otherpeople that are sick.
They're going to get you sickand you're going to die.
We were teaching people ourkids to be fearful and to live
in fear and to lock themselvesinside their house.
And I mean I went along with it.
I went along with a lot of it.
I did complain, I bitched andmoaned quite a bit to my wife.
(12:16):
She was really tired.
Part of the reason I startedthis podcast is because my wife
was sick and tired of hearing mebitch and moan about stuff like
this all the time and she saidstart a podcast.
And other people said start apodcast so we don't have to
listen to your shit.
But even though we've gottenpast it, like I was saying,
we've moved out of the pandemic.
It's almost like we've taken ona new pandemic in the
galvanization of thepolarization of our society with
(12:38):
politics.
It's almost like you chose aside.
Were you the go-getter pandemic, save everyone.
Like yeah, let's lock this shitdown.
Were you the I don't give ashit.
If anyone dies, it's my body,my choice or I'm not getting the
vaccine, or big farm is out toget everyone, or were you
someone more in the middle whereit's like, yeah, now people are
(13:01):
dying and this is a disease andthere are certain steps we
should be taking to helpmitigate that?
But at the same time, I don'twant to live my life in fear of
essentially everything.
I can't stop everything in thisworld, and so I shouldn't try
to stop everything in this world, only the things that I can
control and have an impact on.
So now we've gotten past it.
We're now in this polarizedworld left right, trump, kamala,
(13:27):
republican, democrat, couple ofyou, green party and wigs out
there.
We're now in this polarizedsociety that is really kind of
still separating and dividingand keeping everyone apart, just
like the pandemic did.
We've traded that in and wetrade the lockdowns in for, oh,
you voted for Trump.
(13:48):
I don't want to talk to yourfamily.
You suck, or you voted forKamala.
You must be an idiot.
I don't want to talk to you.
It seems like it's a perpetualdivision that's constantly
coming up in my life and youknow, I don't know where I
really wanted to go with thisepisode besides just venting out
a little bit that, the thingsthat I'm feeling as a dad, as a
(14:08):
man, as a just a human being wholived through the pandemic like
you all.
You know we all survived thepandemic or at least, if you're
listening to this, you survivedthe pandemic.
I'm just venting about how Ithink it had a long lasting
impact on me, how it's stillaffecting me right now, and part
of that is because I'm lettingit do that.
But I do think that there arecertain parts of my brain that
(14:28):
were really twisted and turn andbroken that I haven't been able
to fix yet.
Maybe it's because I haven'treflected on it, haven't thought
about it and tried to find waysto fix it.
But I do think that I'm a muchdifferent person now.
Some of them are good ways,some of the reflection I did,
some of that looking internally,some of that being relying on
myself.
That was a good thing.
(14:48):
But I do think I'm much moreskeptical of other people, much
more keeping people at distance,not wanting to rely on anyone
else, not really trusting anyoneelse, not wanting to rely on
anyone else, not really trustinganyone else and that's had a
negative impact on me, because Iam a very social person who
likes to be around other people.
I like to host, I like to behospitable, I like to do nice
(15:10):
things for people I like to.
I want to be the one who hasall the kids in the neighborhood
.
Come to our house and, you know, play with our kids at our
house and, you know, do funthings like.
That's what I envision kids inthe neighborhood come to our
house and play with our kids atour house and do fun things.
That's what I envision myselfin the future.
And I do think that there are alot of things that have changed
about me, that have taken meaway from that type of person,
(15:30):
and I can reflect, I can lookforward and I can try to make
those changes.
But yeah, I think there were alot of unintended consequences
that happened, or maybe intendedconsequences that happened from
locking people down, from beingin a state of constant fear.
Yeah, there are a lot of things, a lot of things that happened
and I guess I'm just saying howI feel, saying how it's affected
(15:53):
me and I'm sure that it'saffected other people and, like
I said, if I'm wrong, if you'relike, no, it hasn't had an
impact on me, didn't affect methat way, like that's great.
I'm glad that it didn't.
I do think there are peoplethat this had a big impact on.
I think it's time to kind ofcome to that realization, air it
out, vent about it, process itand then move forward and get
(16:16):
back to the people that we wantto be.
And I'm talking to myself,because I'm the one who needs to
do that.
I need to process it, I need tofigure out what changed in my
mind that made me more of like areclusive hermit and not going
out there, not being the socialperson that I was made to be,
not being the leader that I wasmade to be, not being
interacting with other peopleand caring as much as I used to.
(16:37):
So that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to go ahead and focuson me, try to move past it and
try and be the person that Iwant to be.
Try and be the person that Godmade me to be.
Try and work on my strengths,acknowledge my weaknesses and be
(16:57):
someone who actually makes animpact in the world Not just
with my kids, but make an impactin the world.
I think that's ultimately whatall of us want.
We all want meaning, and I thinkI'm at a point in my life where
I'm kind of struggling with.
I knew who I was and I stillknow who I am, but what's my
meaning, what's my purpose?
Where should I be going next?
And I'm not 100% sure.
(17:19):
Hopefully I'll figure it out.
Maybe by talking on thispodcast I'll figure out where
I'm meant to be, where I canmake the biggest difference in
the world.
But that's going to really doit for this episode.
Really, all over the placeDon't know what the point was.
I think this was more of justevent session.
Some of them have been likethat lately.
You know, if you feel the sameway, send me a message, let me
(17:44):
know your thoughts and otherthan that, I hope everyone has a
good rest of the day.
Have a great weekend and I willsee y'all next week.
Welcome to the show everyone.
Hope everyone's having afantastic day, having a good
February so far, that youryear's off to a good start and
hopefully you're sticking toyour New Year's resolutions a
little bit better than I've been.
I said when I started doingthese episodes again back in the
beginning of January that Iwould be planning them out and
really digging in and makingsure that I have a cohesive
(00:21):
episode episode.
Basically, that I'd have a plan, go along that plan, get my
ideas out, and I have not donethat whatsoever.
Today is even worse Because Ididn't have water for most of
the day.
They are doing construction onmy street, so no water, no
showers, no using the restroom,all that good stuff.
So and I've also got to pick upmy son today A little
(00:46):
miscommunication with thegrandparents.
So I think I've got a goodepisode planned for you.
Hopefully y'all can bear withme and hopefully we go in a
relatively straight line downthis one.
But something that's kind ofpopped up as we were about to
hit March and I can remember inMarch of 2020, I had been a dad
for roughly six months or so.
(01:06):
Six, seven months wasdefinitely in the thick of it,
learning what I needed to do.
We had gone through a couple oftransitions, some big
transitions in our life, and Ibasically had to get my shit
together.
I wasn't the dad that I wantedto be when I first started the
fatherhood journey.
I wasn't the husband that mywife needed or that she deserved
, and there were a lot of thingsabout me that I needed to kind
(01:29):
of look within and make changeson.
And March 2020 rolls around,and if you are over the age of
what 15, 16, 17 years old youknow what happened.
Then, right, covid-19 comesaround.
The pandemic shut down for twoweeks to stop the spread was the
(01:50):
verbiage that we were given.
That's what we were told by thegovernment.
And a couple of years later, wewere still in lockdown.
People had masks on their face.
All this stuff and this episodeisn't to dive into the politics
of it episode isn't to diveinto the politics of it.
I will say that when it firststarted, I was not a big fan of
the lockdowns.
I wasn't a fan of giving thegovernment more power and the
(02:12):
ability to lock down us, lockdown businesses, to do basically
carte blanche, whatever thefuck they wanted to do.
That was something that I wascompletely against and also I
didn't like the fact that fearwas what was driving everyone.
It was like you should beafraid.
Be afraid of this.
This is going to kill you, it'sgoing to kill your grandparents
, and if you're not fearful,then you are essentially killing
(02:35):
other people as well.
It was a real weird, sick andtwisted time and I think that
most people have moved on fromthat right.
We're now a couple years out ofthe pandemic, out of the
lockdowns.
I don't really see masksanymore.
I don't see people living infear or hiding or cowering,
which is a good thing, but Idon't think that I've truly
(02:57):
recovered from the effects ofthe lockdowns and I don't think
I've truly recovered from whatthat pandemic, what it was.
I was at a transitional periodin my life of becoming a new dad
and having this new life that Iwas responsible for caring
about, but also thinking aboutthings for for him, what I
(03:17):
needed to do for him, what wasbest for my son, not just like
what's going to keep me alive orwhat's going to be best for me
or my wife.
I had a new, brand new lifeform that I was completely
responsible for, the help of mywife, for keeping alive, and
this is typically a time inparents' lives or in people's
lives, where they don'tnecessarily go within right.
(03:39):
They don't necessarily closeeveryone off.
This is a time in your lifewhen you need the most support
and the most help, when you'renot getting any fucking sleep
and when you don't know what thehell is going on.
You don't know what the fuckyou're doing.
This is a time that you shouldbe relying on grandparents,
friends, aunts, uncles, familymembers, anyone, anyone that can
(04:00):
help you.
You should be relying on themfor help, for advice, for
knowledge, so that way you canbe the best parent that you can
possibly be, and also make surethat you're taking care of
yourself as well.
Well, for me it was like thecomplete opposite.
We all shut down Everything,shut down, don't go see people,
don't go to restaurants.
And then once we started likeopening things back up, it was
(04:23):
like make sure that you'rewearing a mask, make sure your
kids are wearing masks.
I remember when my kid was twoand he went to daycare, they
wanted him to wear a mask.
I'm like dude, there's no waythat's going to fucking happen.
The kid's going to rip it off.
And also, you know, there were alot of unintended consequences
that came along with the factthat everyone was wearing masks,
that we were not being social.
(04:44):
It's the rise of the Zoomgeneration, and I really do
think you know social media wasgoing to be this huge thing in
the future anyway.
But the COVID lockdowns reallypropelled technology to the
forefront of everyone's life.
You had distance learning, zoom, microsoft Teams, like
(05:04):
everything really came into playduring this time and there were
some benefits to that.
Right, I think that a lot ofcompanies realized that you
could have people work more oflike a hybrid basis and have a
little bit more of a work-lifebalance.
But also you had this fuzzyline now that exists for people
who work fully, remote or evenhybrid, of trying to separate
(05:25):
their personal life from theirwork life.
Right, if you're working fromhome constantly, where do you
draw that line between being atwork and being at home?
And there's a lot of differentthings, a lot of feelings that I
have about this, a lot ofthoughts that I have about it.
But for me personally, I justdon't think that I've truly
recovered fully from it, becauseI used to be a very outgoing
(05:46):
person.
I was, I've always had restingbitch face, and people say that
when they meet me they're alittle intimidated, or I can be
intimidating because I'm reallyintense.
But once you get to know mesuper nice person, very
welcoming, enjoy other people'scompany.
I am a little bit of someonewho says whatever the hell's on
his mind and I can get onpeople's nerves and say stuff
(06:10):
that's abrasive and brash andnot always people's favorite.
But in general even people whodisagree with me get along with
me well, because it's never in ahateful way that I have these
conversations.
But since the pandemic and sinceI've gone through these
lockdowns I've become much morecautious and skeptical of other
(06:35):
people and haven't really gottenback out into being a personal
person of going out and talkingto neighbors or having random
conversations or inviting peopleinto our home and having people
over for barbecues.
There's a lot of things that Idon't do, that I used to do
quite a bit of that I used to.
(06:55):
I used to be someone who wouldhost.
I'd want to have, if you know,now my kid's older, have
families come over, have themcome over for a barbecue, drink
beer with them, drink wine withthem, have fun, let the kids
have fun.
That's all stuff.
That's kind of fell by thewayside and I think part of it
is that, like I said, I justhaven't truly recovered from the
(07:15):
mental I don't know if you wantto call it lowercase T trauma
or just the mental block that'scame up, and I'm definitely
still struggling with this and Ithink there are a lot of people
who are struggling with it.
It and now that we've becomemore of like a distant society
with Zoom, I think there are alot of hurdles in the way of
(07:35):
having actual human interactionwith other people and a lot of
people or maybe not a lot ofpeople, I don't know.
This is like I said.
This is all from the context ofsocial media and seeing what
people are posting, and just myown experience as well, but I do
think that it's harder forpeople to be more social.
It's almost more sociallyacceptable to be antisocial,
(07:57):
which is fine in certain aspects, but we are social creatures.
We should be interacting witheach other outside of Zoom,
outside of Microsoft team,outside of social media.
Social media is not real.
Instagram is not real.
This podcast is, you know, it'sstill a virtual communication
that I'm having with all of you.
It's not an in-person, anin-person thing.
(08:18):
We're not sitting down breakingbread, having fun, being able
to interact with each other andreally get to know each other on
a personal level, and it'ssomething that I think that we
need to get back to as a society, especially parents.
This is it's been reallydifficult on everyone, don't get
me wrong.
The lockdowns were brutal foreveryone.
I feel so bad for the kids thathad the school shut down.
(08:39):
They missed their senior yearof football.
They didn't get to go to prom,they didn't get to do any of the
sports or any of thoseextracurriculars or anything
they could have done, but theydidn't get a chance to do.
They didn't get to walk attheir college graduation.
There's so many things thatpeople missed out on because we
were locked down for so long andwe were so within our own
(09:00):
little worlds that I think a lotof us have gotten used to that
and it's almost like a comfortzone now.
It's like a safety zone for us,but, as a lot of us know, we
don't grow within safety.
Safety is not always the bestthing for us.
It's not.
It's just a place that we cansit, think that we're safe, be
in our little cocoon, our littlecomfort bubble, not grow, not
(09:22):
become better people and, in allhonesty, develop weird fucking
mental illnesses and mentaldisorders and things like that.
There's a lot of stuff thathappens when you become isolated
.
I mean there's.
There's a reason why in prison,you know, putting someone in
isolation is seen as apunishment, because it can have
a really messed up effect on thebrain.
(09:42):
And that's not to say that thelockdowns were that extreme, you
know total lockdown for 24,seven, not having any human
interaction whatsoever, justfour walls to look at.
At least it wasn't for me, butthere might be people who did
have that in their lives, whowere in that type of situation,
and I think that it had a bigimpact on everyone but parents.
(10:04):
A huge impact Because we werebeing told to be afraid, be
afraid for our kids, be afraidfor our grandparents, and to
follow all these rules andrestrictions and not get help
from grandparents, not go seesick grandparents, not go see
friends or family, not have anyof that help.
(10:25):
Right, you were basically justrelying on yourself.
For me and my wife, it was us,us against the world, which I
like for certain things, but notfor everything.
And maybe I say I like it nowbecause that's just my pride
coming through and I really dowish that I was able to rely on
more people, that I had a biggernetwork, and this isn't to say
that everyone falls into thisbucket.
(10:46):
This could be just certainthings that I struggle with, and
if that's the case, let me know.
Maybe it's just me being me andI fell into this trap and I'm
not necessarily pulling myselfout of it, but I would venture
to guess that there are otherpeople who are struggling just
like me in a lot of these sameareas of their lives, in a time
when parents should be teachingtheir kids how to socialize and
(11:11):
getting out, making friends,making connections, getting help
.
We weren't able to do that andI think that we're moving down a
path that, hopefully, is better.
But even as we move out ofCOVID, it's almost like the
lockdowns are ending, thepandemic is over.
All this stuff right.
There's a lot of things comingout about how it wasn't
(11:33):
necessarily the best for us.
There's a lot of unintendedconsequences.
Your kids weren't beingsocialized appropriately
Teachers wearing masks, theycouldn't see people speaking
when they were actually beingtaught, and so that has an
impact on how your kids arebeing.
You know are actually learningthe material.
There are a lot of differentthings that happened.
We were teaching kids to befearful of other people.
(11:55):
That's one of the sick thingsabout this.
Is that?
What should I be afraid of?
It's like other people, otherpeople that are sick.
They're going to get you sickand you're going to die.
We were teaching people ourkids to be fearful and to live
in fear and to lock themselvesinside their house.
And I mean I went along with it.
I went along with a lot of it.
I did complain, I bitched andmoaned quite a bit to my wife.
(12:16):
She was really tired.
Part of the reason I startedthis podcast is because my wife
was sick and tired of hearing mebitch and moan about stuff like
this all the time and she saidstart a podcast.
And other people said start apodcast so we don't have to
listen to your shit.
But even though we've gottenpast it, like I was saying,
we've moved out of the pandemic.
It's almost like we've taken ona new pandemic in the
galvanization of thepolarization of our society with
(12:38):
politics.
It's almost like you chose aside.
Were you the go-getter pandemic, save everyone.
Like yeah, let's lock this shitdown.
Were you the I don't give ashit.
If anyone dies, it's my body,my choice or I'm not getting the
vaccine, or big farm is out toget everyone, or were you
someone more in the middle whereit's like, yeah, now people are
(13:01):
dying and this is a disease andthere are certain steps we
should be taking to helpmitigate that?
But at the same time, I don'twant to live my life in fear of
essentially everything.
I can't stop everything in thisworld, and so I shouldn't try
to stop everything in this world, only the things that I can
control and have an impact on.
So now we've gotten past it.
We're now in this polarizedworld left right, trump, kamala,
(13:27):
republican, democrat, couple ofyou, green party and wigs out
there.
We're now in this polarizedsociety that is really kind of
still separating and dividingand keeping everyone apart, just
like the pandemic did.
We've traded that in and wetrade the lockdowns in for, oh,
you voted for Trump.
(13:48):
I don't want to talk to yourfamily.
You suck, or you voted forKamala.
You must be an idiot.
I don't want to talk to you.
It seems like it's a perpetualdivision that's constantly
coming up in my life and youknow, I don't know where I
really wanted to go with thisepisode besides just venting out
a little bit that, the thingsthat I'm feeling as a dad, as a
(14:08):
man, as a just a human being wholived through the pandemic like
you all.
You know we all survived thepandemic or at least, if you're
listening to this, you survivedthe pandemic.
I'm just venting about how Ithink it had a long lasting
impact on me, how it's stillaffecting me right now, and part
of that is because I'm lettingit do that.
But I do think that there arecertain parts of my brain that
(14:28):
were really twisted and turn andbroken that I haven't been able
to fix yet.
Maybe it's because I haven'treflected on it, haven't thought
about it and tried to find waysto fix it.
But I do think that I'm a muchdifferent person now.
Some of them are good ways,some of the reflection I did,
some of that looking internally,some of that being relying on
myself.
That was a good thing.
(14:48):
But I do think I'm much moreskeptical of other people, much
more keeping people at distance,not wanting to rely on anyone
else, not really trusting anyoneelse, not wanting to rely on
anyone else, not really trustinganyone else and that's had a
negative impact on me, because Iam a very social person who
likes to be around other people.
I like to host, I like to behospitable, I like to do nice
(15:10):
things for people I like to.
I want to be the one who hasall the kids in the neighborhood
.
Come to our house and, you know, play with our kids at our
house and, you know, do funthings like.
That's what I envision kids inthe neighborhood come to our
house and play with our kids atour house and do fun things.
That's what I envision myselfin the future.
And I do think that there are alot of things that have changed
about me, that have taken meaway from that type of person,
(15:30):
and I can reflect, I can lookforward and I can try to make
those changes.
But yeah, I think there were alot of unintended consequences
that happened, or maybe intendedconsequences that happened from
locking people down, from beingin a state of constant fear.
Yeah, there are a lot of things, a lot of things that happened
and I guess I'm just saying howI feel, saying how it's affected
(15:53):
me and I'm sure that it'saffected other people and, like
I said, if I'm wrong, if you'relike, no, it hasn't had an
impact on me, didn't affect methat way, like that's great.
I'm glad that it didn't.
I do think there are peoplethat this had a big impact on.
I think it's time to kind ofcome to that realization, air it
out, vent about it, process itand then move forward and get
(16:16):
back to the people that we wantto be.
And I'm talking to myself,because I'm the one who needs to
do that.
I need to process it, I need tofigure out what changed in my
mind that made me more of like areclusive hermit and not going
out there, not being the socialperson that I was made to be,
not being the leader that I wasmade to be, not being
interacting with other peopleand caring as much as I used to.
(16:37):
So that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to go ahead and focuson me, try to move past it and
try and be the person that Iwant to be.
Try and be the person that Godmade me to be.
Try and work on my strengths,acknowledge my weaknesses and be
(16:57):
someone who actually makes animpact in the world Not just
with my kids, but make an impactin the world.
I think that's ultimately whatall of us want.
We all want meaning, and I thinkI'm at a point in my life where
I'm kind of struggling with.
I knew who I was and I stillknow who I am, but what's my
meaning, what's my purpose?
Where should I be going next?
And I'm not 100% sure.
(17:19):
Hopefully I'll figure it out.
Maybe by talking on thispodcast I'll figure out where
I'm meant to be, where I canmake the biggest difference in
the world.
But that's going to really doit for this episode.
Really, all over the placeDon't know what the point was.
I think this was more of justevent session.
Some of them have been likethat lately.
You know, if you feel the sameway, send me a message, let me
(17:44):
know your thoughts and otherthan that, I hope everyone has a
good rest of the day.
Have a great weekend and I willsee y'all next week.
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