August 15, 2025 • 12 mins
We're kicking things off at the very beginning — senior week, Myrtle Beach, 2004. I was fresh out of high school, full of choices waiting to age like milk, and about to lose my virginity in the most... let's say unromantic way possible.
It's equal parts awkward, hilarious, and slightly mortifying.. but hey, that's the vibe. From here on out, we're going chronologically through the chaos, tangent at a time.
The Unhinged Ginge is my unfiltered memoir in podcast form, just stories. The laughter is loud, the hindsight is still nursing a hangover, and the details are... as accurate as memory allows.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Alright.
(00:00):
Hi, I'm Beaux and this is thefirst episode of the Unhinged
Ginge.
Let me get recording on this guytoo.
Almost forgot a step.
we are gonna kick thisstorytelling.
off with, how I lost myvirginity back in 2004 after I
graduated high school.
(00:21):
'cause I was a lady.
I was, was being the operativeword.
Um, so.
Let's roll back.
2004, just graduated highschool.
We are headed down to MyrtleBeach, uh, for the week, for a
senior week, beach week.
It is kind of a tradition, onthe East Coast at least it was,
I don't know if it is anymore.
(00:41):
Um, what you do aftergraduation, everybody goes down
there for a week, has a bigfucking party.
Um, you know, we all pretendwe're adults.
It's cute.
So I went with four of my.
Like, not close friends, butjust like friends.
I was one of those people inhigh school.
I bounced around from group togroup.
I didn't really have a set, unitof people as much.
(01:04):
I kind of just got along wellwith everybody.
So I went my own, went down withthese four girls.
so there was five of us in thishotel room.
So it was two of us to a bed andthen one person on the floor and
we would rotate who had to sleepon the floor.
So we're on our way down thereand everyone's kind of like
guessing or taking bets, but notbets.
(01:25):
You know what I'm talking about.
as to who was going to.
Uh, like who, who, the firstperson who was gonna have sex on
this trip was Right.
And I'm going down there withgirls who had absolutely been
doing their thing.
they had their boyfriends, theyhad their, whatever.
They were fucking, I was notfucking, but I was an avid Cosmo
reader.
So I really thought that I knewa lot more than, I actually did
(01:49):
but yeah, you, you.
We don't train for these things.
You can't read a book and knowwhat you're doing.
We'll get to that in a few.
So anyway, we go down there.
We're staying in this hotelcalled the Sand Castle, of
course.
And, we're out, we're partying.
It's the beach.
We're having a good time.
Everything is fun.
Everything's cool.
So we go to the bars and theclubs and the whatever.
(02:11):
And I was just in true Beauxfashion.
Ended up just being by myselffor whatever reason.
I'm on my way back to theresort.
It's not even that late at thispoint, but I was just hammered
and I was over it.
So I'm on my way back and I metthis really handsome man on the
(02:32):
walk home.
I was about two blocks from myresort when I bumped into this
guy and he started chatting meup and keep in mind, it's not a
surprise.
I made it out of high school, avirgin.
I was chubby and funny andawkward and just, no, they
weren't going for it.
You know what I mean?
Like people went like, no onewas dropping their trousers or
(02:53):
panties for me.
You know what I'm saying?
So when this guy startedchatting me up on the way home,
I was like, oh, smell you, NancyDrew.
Look at this.
Let's go.
So we started talking.
He walked me back to the resort,and that only took about two
blocks to get there.
And so then I guess, he fuckedme in the stairwell, and that's
(03:16):
how I lost my virginity.
I just grin like, like, youknow, grin and bear it gr gr
grind your teeth.
Grit your teeth.
Gr mm-hmm.
I'm not really, whatever.
Whatever.
I just.
Beared down and dealt with itbecause he was a blessed man and
I was not prepared.
I was not prepared at all.
(03:36):
So I, proceeded to take him backup to my hotel room because I
figured the girls have to stillbe gone.
Right.
They have to still be gone.
It's early in my head.
It was early, but I opened thedoor and they're not gone.
They're all there.
They're all in the room andthey're all asleep.
And I'm like, shit, you have tobe kidding me.
(03:57):
Seriously.
Okay, fine.
You know what?
I'm not, but I will not stop.
I am on a mission.
I am going to like fi I'm, I'm afuck, I'm a fuck.
And I'm gonna figure it outbecause I'm about to go to
college and I need to know whatthe fuck I'm doing.
So it happens to be my turn onthe floor.
And so we proceed to hook upagain on the floor and then I'm
(04:18):
like, shh.
No, we have to be quiet.
The girls are sleeping, they'regonna wake up.
It's gonna be fucking awkward.
It's like the first time I'veever had sex.
Not that he knows this, but I'mlike, in my head, I'm like, it's
the first time I've ever had sexand now I'm about to have sex in
public again.
Like, what's wrong with me?
So when we're on the floor, wedo it again.
(04:39):
And then I'm like, no, we gottalike, let's go into the
bathroom.
Because for whatever reason Ithought that if we went to the
bathroom, it would, you know,muffle the sound with this tiny
plywood fucking door wouldmuffle the sound for, a bed
that's like four feet away fromthe door.
Like, of course, why not?
Right?
So stupid.
(05:01):
So we're in the bathroom andwe're doing it again.
We're in the shower.
We're on top of, we're like onthe floor, we're on the sink.
And I am just feeling like thebest version of myself because
this is like, yeah, this is howyou lose it.
'cause I was never one of thosepeople who attached sex and and
emotions.
That wasn't something that Ithought was.
(05:24):
important For me, it was more sojust something that needed to
be, like, to get out of the way.
And so the more fucking chaoticit was, the better it was going
to be for future sexual me.
So any who we're, we're fuckingin the bathroom.
And at this point I'm on thesink and he's like.
He gives me this look and thendrops his head.
(05:48):
I'm like, oh my God, this dude'sabout to go down on me.
No one's ever done that beforeeither.
This is crazy.
So I'm like, on the sink rightand I'm just ahh.
I'm like his, and I look down, Ilook down at his face, and at
this point I'm trying everythingI can, it is taking everything
(06:10):
in my power to not laugh becausewhen I look down.
And I see his face in my crotch.
My, my bush has now made thisridiculous ginger mustache, and
I'm like, my God, this is wherethe term mustache rides came
(06:33):
from.
Now I get it.
I always thought that it was thedude.
Having a mustache and you'relike riding his face.
And that was the mustache ride.
But actually it's your pubesthat make the mustache.
Turns out I was wrong.
That's not it, it is the guyhaving a mustache.
(06:55):
But until I was close to 30, Iwas certain that that was why it
was called that.
And tried to convince multiplepeople in my life that that's
the reason why it was calledthat was because, no, dude, it's
a bush-stache.
It's your, it's your pubesmaking that face.
But I digress.
anyway, so.
(07:15):
We bang in, we do the thing.
I find out what a mustache rideis.
That was super fun.
I then kick him out and ofcourse, because I'm sleeping on
the floor, I'm not gonna havethe girls wake up and like see
me with this random dude on thefloor.
I'm trying to be stealthy andeven though I'm so not being
fucking stealthy,'cause I'mhaving sex all over this fucking
(07:37):
room with these girls sleepingin it.
So I kick him out.
I wake up the next day.
I brought a blender with mebecause that's how I roll, and I
was waiting for them to wake upso that I could make my pitcher
of margaritas to start my day.
So in the meantime, I'm just outon the porch or the balcony or
whatever the fuck of the hotel,and I'm smoking a blunt.
I'm drinking a beer.
(07:57):
Um, I took like a two three hourpower nap.
I finally had sex.
I am feeling like a rock star.
And the girls were all kind oflike, they were all guessing.
Who was gonna have sex first onthis trip?
And no one was guessing me.
Also, nobody knew that I was avirgin at that point because I
didn't think it was anybody'sbusiness to like talk about it
or tell anybody about it.
(08:17):
So I just kind of went with itand, um, oh, sorry, my alarm's
going off.
Okay.
So I just kind of went with itand, my friend Val wakes up and
she's like.
Did you have sex in the bathroomlast night?
And I'm like, Maybe like, shewas just like, girl, it's
(08:37):
sounded like two raccoons weretrying to fuck in a crockpot.
What the hell was going on inthere?
And I'm like, oh shit.
You know?
But just doing me, nobody hadmoney on me being the first one
to do that.
'cause like I said, fat funnykid, never had a boyfriend.
No one's paying attention to me.
Went to prom with a gay boy likethat was, that's.
(08:58):
That's who I am.
Um, and I didn't know he wasgay.
Everyone told me that's adifferent story for a different
time.
but yeah, so I'm feeling like arock star.
That's the point.
I'm feeling like a rock star.
I finally fucked.
I got the thing I, so I'm like,okay, cool.
Fast forward.
(09:18):
It's like two days later.
And I end up hooking up with oneof my friend's friends.
'cause I had some, guy friendswho had graduated the year
before that came down for seniorweek round two, I guess, because
they're fucking scoundrels andthey just wanted to, you know,
go party and hook up.
'cause that's what you do whenyou're young.
Or in my case also when you'reold, they all wanted to, uh, do
(09:40):
their thing.
So, I ended up hooking up withone of their friends who they
had met in college that I hadnot met before.
I don't, I, I.
I don't know that motherfucker'sname.
but Bubba, yeah, Bubba.
Bubba walked in on that one.
So I guess I just kind of like,started the game with, um, not
(10:01):
really giving a shit if I wasdoing it in public.
I'm just now realizing that goodfor me.
So anyway, when we had left and.
I had now hooked up with twopeople.
I went from no people to twopeople, and we had left, beach
week and went back to Virginiawhere we lived and just to, you
(10:23):
know, finish out the summer, dowhatever.
And I worked with a guy, thateverybody thought was super hot.
I was working at Little Caesars.
It was, you know, that first gigyou get when you're in high
school, excuse me.
And, He was super cute andeveryone was like, oh man, he's
so hot.
Totally wanna hook up with him,blah, blah, blah.
And I left with a zeroconfidence, but I came back with
(10:43):
all the confidence in the world.
So I was like, oh yeah, but giveme a week.
I bet.
And I bet this chick I workedwith, I think her name was
Felicia or something like that.
I bet her 20 bucks that I couldsleep with that dude in a week.
And she's like, oh yeah,absolutely not.
There's no way.
And I totally did.
I totally did.
And then he ended up being, myfuck buddy.
(11:04):
Hadn't had one of those before.
He ended up being my fuck buddyall summer, which was nice.
And that was when I learned thatI have a magic vagina.
But that's also a differentstory for a different time.
Um, bless her.
Bless her.
Any who?
So I hooked up with Philip.
I think that was his name.
I'm not really sure.
(11:25):
I think that No, that was, thatwas his name.
That was his name.
I will stand by it.
So I hooked up with them for alot that summer and oh, that was
the, like, I, found out howdifficult it is to do it in the
front of the truck.
At that point, that gear shiftwas a whole vibe and several
bruises.
But I did, I went to some party,hooked up with some people, so I
(11:45):
just hit the ground running andI went from zero to six for a
body count that summer.
by the time I got to college,man, you could not stop me.
I felt fresh as hell.
Still didn't know.
What it was like for someone to,you know, like you, like you.
'cause I still at that point hadnever had a boyfriend, but you
know, you don't need one ofthose if you're just trying to
have a good time.
(12:08):
So after that, I went to collegeand then I did end up getting my
first boyfriend that February,and then I took his virginity.
Isn't that sweet?
And that's an entirely differentstory.
That we will save for next timebecause that's college and
(12:30):
boyfriend and dropout.
And then moving in withstrangers that I met on
roommates.com and there's a lotmore to come.
This is only the beginning.
So I guess we'll wrap that oneup for today.
thanks for stopping by and ifnobody's told you lately, you
are a lot, and I like it likethat.
(12:50):
Don't change.
See you next Tuesday.
Weirdos.
Alright.
(00:00):
Hi, I'm Beaux and this is thefirst episode of the Unhinged
Ginge.
Let me get recording on this guytoo.
Almost forgot a step.
we are gonna kick thisstorytelling.
off with, how I lost myvirginity back in 2004 after I
graduated high school.
(00:21):
'cause I was a lady.
I was, was being the operativeword.
Um, so.
Let's roll back.
2004, just graduated highschool.
We are headed down to MyrtleBeach, uh, for the week, for a
senior week, beach week.
It is kind of a tradition, onthe East Coast at least it was,
I don't know if it is anymore.
(00:41):
Um, what you do aftergraduation, everybody goes down
there for a week, has a bigfucking party.
Um, you know, we all pretendwe're adults.
It's cute.
So I went with four of my.
Like, not close friends, butjust like friends.
I was one of those people inhigh school.
I bounced around from group togroup.
I didn't really have a set, unitof people as much.
(01:04):
I kind of just got along wellwith everybody.
So I went my own, went down withthese four girls.
so there was five of us in thishotel room.
So it was two of us to a bed andthen one person on the floor and
we would rotate who had to sleepon the floor.
So we're on our way down thereand everyone's kind of like
guessing or taking bets, but notbets.
(01:25):
You know what I'm talking about.
as to who was going to.
Uh, like who, who, the firstperson who was gonna have sex on
this trip was Right.
And I'm going down there withgirls who had absolutely been
doing their thing.
they had their boyfriends, theyhad their, whatever.
They were fucking, I was notfucking, but I was an avid Cosmo
reader.
So I really thought that I knewa lot more than, I actually did
(01:49):
but yeah, you, you.
We don't train for these things.
You can't read a book and knowwhat you're doing.
We'll get to that in a few.
So anyway, we go down there.
We're staying in this hotelcalled the Sand Castle, of
course.
And, we're out, we're partying.
It's the beach.
We're having a good time.
Everything is fun.
Everything's cool.
So we go to the bars and theclubs and the whatever.
(02:11):
And I was just in true Beauxfashion.
Ended up just being by myselffor whatever reason.
I'm on my way back to theresort.
It's not even that late at thispoint, but I was just hammered
and I was over it.
So I'm on my way back and I metthis really handsome man on the
(02:32):
walk home.
I was about two blocks from myresort when I bumped into this
guy and he started chatting meup and keep in mind, it's not a
surprise.
I made it out of high school, avirgin.
I was chubby and funny andawkward and just, no, they
weren't going for it.
You know what I mean?
Like people went like, no onewas dropping their trousers or
(02:53):
panties for me.
You know what I'm saying?
So when this guy startedchatting me up on the way home,
I was like, oh, smell you, NancyDrew.
Look at this.
Let's go.
So we started talking.
He walked me back to the resort,and that only took about two
blocks to get there.
And so then I guess, he fuckedme in the stairwell, and that's
(03:16):
how I lost my virginity.
I just grin like, like, youknow, grin and bear it gr gr
grind your teeth.
Grit your teeth.
Gr mm-hmm.
I'm not really, whatever.
Whatever.
I just.
Beared down and dealt with itbecause he was a blessed man and
I was not prepared.
I was not prepared at all.
(03:36):
So I, proceeded to take him backup to my hotel room because I
figured the girls have to stillbe gone.
Right.
They have to still be gone.
It's early in my head.
It was early, but I opened thedoor and they're not gone.
They're all there.
They're all in the room andthey're all asleep.
And I'm like, shit, you have tobe kidding me.
(03:57):
Seriously.
Okay, fine.
You know what?
I'm not, but I will not stop.
I am on a mission.
I am going to like fi I'm, I'm afuck, I'm a fuck.
And I'm gonna figure it outbecause I'm about to go to
college and I need to know whatthe fuck I'm doing.
So it happens to be my turn onthe floor.
And so we proceed to hook upagain on the floor and then I'm
(04:18):
like, shh.
No, we have to be quiet.
The girls are sleeping, they'regonna wake up.
It's gonna be fucking awkward.
It's like the first time I'veever had sex.
Not that he knows this, but I'mlike, in my head, I'm like, it's
the first time I've ever had sexand now I'm about to have sex in
public again.
Like, what's wrong with me?
So when we're on the floor, wedo it again.
(04:39):
And then I'm like, no, we gottalike, let's go into the
bathroom.
Because for whatever reason Ithought that if we went to the
bathroom, it would, you know,muffle the sound with this tiny
plywood fucking door wouldmuffle the sound for, a bed
that's like four feet away fromthe door.
Like, of course, why not?
Right?
So stupid.
(05:01):
So we're in the bathroom andwe're doing it again.
We're in the shower.
We're on top of, we're like onthe floor, we're on the sink.
And I am just feeling like thebest version of myself because
this is like, yeah, this is howyou lose it.
'cause I was never one of thosepeople who attached sex and and
emotions.
That wasn't something that Ithought was.
(05:24):
important For me, it was more sojust something that needed to
be, like, to get out of the way.
And so the more fucking chaoticit was, the better it was going
to be for future sexual me.
So any who we're, we're fuckingin the bathroom.
And at this point I'm on thesink and he's like.
He gives me this look and thendrops his head.
(05:48):
I'm like, oh my God, this dude'sabout to go down on me.
No one's ever done that beforeeither.
This is crazy.
So I'm like, on the sink rightand I'm just ahh.
I'm like his, and I look down, Ilook down at his face, and at
this point I'm trying everythingI can, it is taking everything
(06:10):
in my power to not laugh becausewhen I look down.
And I see his face in my crotch.
My, my bush has now made thisridiculous ginger mustache, and
I'm like, my God, this is wherethe term mustache rides came
(06:33):
from.
Now I get it.
I always thought that it was thedude.
Having a mustache and you'relike riding his face.
And that was the mustache ride.
But actually it's your pubesthat make the mustache.
Turns out I was wrong.
That's not it, it is the guyhaving a mustache.
(06:55):
But until I was close to 30, Iwas certain that that was why it
was called that.
And tried to convince multiplepeople in my life that that's
the reason why it was calledthat was because, no, dude, it's
a bush-stache.
It's your, it's your pubesmaking that face.
But I digress.
anyway, so.
(07:15):
We bang in, we do the thing.
I find out what a mustache rideis.
That was super fun.
I then kick him out and ofcourse, because I'm sleeping on
the floor, I'm not gonna havethe girls wake up and like see
me with this random dude on thefloor.
I'm trying to be stealthy andeven though I'm so not being
fucking stealthy,'cause I'mhaving sex all over this fucking
(07:37):
room with these girls sleepingin it.
So I kick him out.
I wake up the next day.
I brought a blender with mebecause that's how I roll, and I
was waiting for them to wake upso that I could make my pitcher
of margaritas to start my day.
So in the meantime, I'm just outon the porch or the balcony or
whatever the fuck of the hotel,and I'm smoking a blunt.
I'm drinking a beer.
(07:57):
Um, I took like a two three hourpower nap.
I finally had sex.
I am feeling like a rock star.
And the girls were all kind oflike, they were all guessing.
Who was gonna have sex first onthis trip?
And no one was guessing me.
Also, nobody knew that I was avirgin at that point because I
didn't think it was anybody'sbusiness to like talk about it
or tell anybody about it.
(08:17):
So I just kind of went with itand, um, oh, sorry, my alarm's
going off.
Okay.
So I just kind of went with itand, my friend Val wakes up and
she's like.
Did you have sex in the bathroomlast night?
And I'm like, Maybe like, shewas just like, girl, it's
(08:37):
sounded like two raccoons weretrying to fuck in a crockpot.
What the hell was going on inthere?
And I'm like, oh shit.
You know?
But just doing me, nobody hadmoney on me being the first one
to do that.
'cause like I said, fat funnykid, never had a boyfriend.
No one's paying attention to me.
Went to prom with a gay boy likethat was, that's.
(08:58):
That's who I am.
Um, and I didn't know he wasgay.
Everyone told me that's adifferent story for a different
time.
but yeah, so I'm feeling like arock star.
That's the point.
I'm feeling like a rock star.
I finally fucked.
I got the thing I, so I'm like,okay, cool.
Fast forward.
(09:18):
It's like two days later.
And I end up hooking up with oneof my friend's friends.
'cause I had some, guy friendswho had graduated the year
before that came down for seniorweek round two, I guess, because
they're fucking scoundrels andthey just wanted to, you know,
go party and hook up.
'cause that's what you do whenyou're young.
Or in my case also when you'reold, they all wanted to, uh, do
(09:40):
their thing.
So, I ended up hooking up withone of their friends who they
had met in college that I hadnot met before.
I don't, I, I.
I don't know that motherfucker'sname.
but Bubba, yeah, Bubba.
Bubba walked in on that one.
So I guess I just kind of like,started the game with, um, not
(10:01):
really giving a shit if I wasdoing it in public.
I'm just now realizing that goodfor me.
So anyway, when we had left and.
I had now hooked up with twopeople.
I went from no people to twopeople, and we had left, beach
week and went back to Virginiawhere we lived and just to, you
(10:23):
know, finish out the summer, dowhatever.
And I worked with a guy, thateverybody thought was super hot.
I was working at Little Caesars.
It was, you know, that first gigyou get when you're in high
school, excuse me.
And, He was super cute andeveryone was like, oh man, he's
so hot.
Totally wanna hook up with him,blah, blah, blah.
And I left with a zeroconfidence, but I came back with
(10:43):
all the confidence in the world.
So I was like, oh yeah, but giveme a week.
I bet.
And I bet this chick I workedwith, I think her name was
Felicia or something like that.
I bet her 20 bucks that I couldsleep with that dude in a week.
And she's like, oh yeah,absolutely not.
There's no way.
And I totally did.
I totally did.
And then he ended up being, myfuck buddy.
(11:04):
Hadn't had one of those before.
He ended up being my fuck buddyall summer, which was nice.
And that was when I learned thatI have a magic vagina.
But that's also a differentstory for a different time.
Um, bless her.
Bless her.
Any who?
So I hooked up with Philip.
I think that was his name.
I'm not really sure.
(11:25):
I think that No, that was, thatwas his name.
That was his name.
I will stand by it.
So I hooked up with them for alot that summer and oh, that was
the, like, I, found out howdifficult it is to do it in the
front of the truck.
At that point, that gear shiftwas a whole vibe and several
bruises.
But I did, I went to some party,hooked up with some people, so I
(11:45):
just hit the ground running andI went from zero to six for a
body count that summer.
by the time I got to college,man, you could not stop me.
I felt fresh as hell.
Still didn't know.
What it was like for someone to,you know, like you, like you.
'cause I still at that point hadnever had a boyfriend, but you
know, you don't need one ofthose if you're just trying to
have a good time.
(12:08):
So after that, I went to collegeand then I did end up getting my
first boyfriend that February,and then I took his virginity.
Isn't that sweet?
And that's an entirely differentstory.
That we will save for next timebecause that's college and
(12:30):
boyfriend and dropout.
And then moving in withstrangers that I met on
roommates.com and there's a lotmore to come.
This is only the beginning.
So I guess we'll wrap that oneup for today.
thanks for stopping by and ifnobody's told you lately, you
are a lot, and I like it likethat.
(12:50):
Don't change.
See you next Tuesday.
Weirdos.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.